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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 3 months

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Part 4 to the fwb series.

Takes place three weeks after the last update, Eddie is finally coming to terms with what you meant to him, he and Chrissy are over for good and Eddie is sure he will never get a chance with you again...

18+, minors shoo!! A lot of angst, pining.

🖤

It has been a long three weeks since Eddie had seen you. He had a lot of chance to reflect in those three weeks, all that kept playing in his mind is you shutting the door in his face.

He had lost you. Been so sure, so stupid and unbelievably arrogant that you'd be back that he didn't fight for you, ignored any feelings that tried to break through to the surface when you were with him.

You were right he did dangle hope, he felt like a complete asshole for how he treated you. It wasn't always like that though, most of the time you and Eddie laughed a lot.

Sometimes you'd even talk for a long time... it was a world away from what it was like with Chrissy, easy and felt good, not the on and off shit and arguments that him and Chrissy had.

What a fucking idiot he was. Dustin and Steve had went through him when they found out about the two of you, berated him for being a dick to you.

He deserved every bit of their ire. Fuck, how could he ever thought you'd take him back, when all he did was hurt you every time.

Chrissy glares at him as she removes the last of the stuff from the trailer, there's not much but she's took a long time to come and collect it. Not that he blames her for that, but they've both been stupid to think this could work between them.

It felt cathartic to finally be free of the notion of him and Chrissy, if he could really be honest they both moved on a while ago, clung on to long to something attainable.

"Are you in love with that girl or something because you're frankly quite depressing Eddie" Chrissy huffs at him and gestures to the forlorn way he's been acting.

"Yeah but I fucked it all up though so it doesn't matter anymore" he sighs as he lights a cigarette.

"Wow. Sucks to be you that you fucked around and she left you high and dry huh?" Chrissy says all sweetness laced with venom and he shakes his head. Shit why did he ever think that she was sweet?

Knowing he would be subject to more barbs and shit if he stayed, he leaves to get some peace and to just be alone for a while.

...

You're here. Eddie didn't expect to see you anytime soon, thought you'd avoid him like the plague or something. The Hideout is packed and there's a great band playing but all Eddie can notice is you.

You look beautiful, a smile on your face as you chat to the guy beside you. Eddie wonders if this is the guy you went on a date with? Were you dating still? His heart clenches in his chest, like it's in a vice grip.

When you catch his eye he swiftly looks away and clumsily downs his beer. Feels his heart race when you keep looking at him.

Sink or swim Munson, you can run away or you can at least make things right and apologise. He chooses the latter and walks up to you, he's all jumbled thoughts and he's nervous as shit but he has to do this.

"Hey, I won't take up much or your time princess but I just want you to know that I know I'm a fucking idiot, I should have let you in instead of keeping you at arms length and I... I miss you sweetheart" you stare at him for a long few seconds.

"You mean you miss the sex?" you murmur quietly and he shakes his head.

"No. I mean that was mindblowing sweetheart, you know that, but it's not just that. I know I've lost you, don't deserve any less but I just wanted to say this" he feels lighter in himself but the ache in his chest feels like it's multiplied.

Even the fucking bats weren't as painful as this shit feels. He turns to leave but you stop him, gently tug him back as you slip your hand through his.

It feels so fucking right.

"Did I mean anything to you or was it just sex?" your voice shakes a little bit and he wants to assure you that you did mean something, he was just an idiot who realised it too late.

"You were more than just sex. I'm so fucking sorry that it took me so long to realise, to get my head out of my ass" he leans forward and gently kisses your forehead, smiles sadly and then leaves.

...

You still feel the pressure of Eddie's lips on your head, that soft look in his eyes when he told you that you meant something to him, that you meant more than just sex.

It's like you're on autopilot when you drive home, your friend Alex's voice a distant fog as he talks about his date from earlier in the week.

The two of you had went on a date last month but both quickly realised it wasn't going to work.

Head swimming with thoughts you drop Alex of at his flat and continue driving, straight past your house and to Eddie's trailer.

You don't know why you're here, you shouldn't be but your stupid traitor heart is egging you on.

Chrissy would be here wouldn't she? As far as you knew they were still together... At least you hadn't heard otherwise. Dustin had mentioned Chrissy leaving Eddie, but they were always on and off so you didn't really know if they were together or not.

Just as you suspect Chrissy comes out of the trailer and your heart sinks, you're ready to turn away and sigh sadly. Why did you stupidly think anything would be different.

Eddie comes out at that point and he just looks so done. It gives you pause and you watch as Chrissy piles her belongings in the car, glaring at him.

"I mean it Eddie, I'm not coming back this time" you expect Eddie to beg or something but he doesn't, just shrugs softly.

"Chrissy, I'm done. Done with this, when you leave that's it. This isn't what I want, not anymore" you feel yourself gasp and Eddie's head turns in your direction.

"Princess. What are you doing here?" flustered you walk over feeling awkward as hell. Chrissy rolls her eyes, slams the trunk of her car down hard and gets in the drivers seat.

"Congratulations' she says cooly. Gotta say I'm surprised anyone got that freak to fall in love" despite what's gone on between you and Eddie you feel ire build up inside you at her comment to him.

"Don't call him that and he's not in love with me" you shake your head at the very thought, there was no way. He would have told you.

Chrissy cocks her head then snorts, drives away and raises a finger in Eddie's direction as she does. Over the roar of the car you don't hear what Eddie is saying, just see his lips move.

"What?" you move closer to him, his expression is tender and he strokes your cheek.

"I said yes I am" he replies to you gently, the confession hangs in the air. You're stunned, definitely didn't expect it.

"Why didn't you say anything? you whimper. Fuck, all of this heartache and shit. Thinking you meant nothing to him, then he tells you this.

"I'm an idiot. Realised at the last minute, realised I was too late, you said I'd lost you sweetheart and I realised after you said it that I was in love with you"

You're shivering and it's so cold but you're desperate to hear more of what Eddie says. He notices you shaking and motions you to come inside, retrieves a thick blanket and wraps it around you.

"I don't deserve another chance, I acted like such an asshole and I'm so fucking sorry sweetheart... If you ever did by some miracle want to give me one more shot at this then I promise you I'll do better, I'll love you so fucking much, I will never be so stupid to let you go again"

His hands slip into yours and you're rife with indecision. Your heart telling you one thing while your head is saying different.

"I can't promise that I'll never be an idiot but I won't ever hurt you ever, I mean that princess" he gazes at you with such sincerity that it takes your breath away.

"What if I suggested a coffee date or even just seeing a movie? Stopping over for some of Wayne's amazing mac and cheese?" you suggest, thinking of small ideas, something slow and easy at first.

Eddie's eyes light up. "Anything, anything you want. We could have hot chocolate and camp out, watch the stars like you wanted too that one time?" it sounds so nice, it would be so easy to say yes.

"I'm scared Eddie" you admit. Scared you'll get your heart broken again. He softens and sits beside you, squeezing your hands.

"I'm scared too sweetheart. I've never felt this way about anyone, certainly not Chrissy. If you decide to give me a chance, give me your heart then I'll swear I'll protect it and cherish it, never ever break it again"

Tears run down your cheeks and you nod, just a tiny bit and the smile that breaks out on Eddie's face is beautiful.

"You mean it?" he asks hopeful, big brown eyes full of happiness. Yes. Yes. You do mean it and grin back at him

Tentatively Eddie kisses you, smiling when you're arms wrap around him. He pulls away and takes your hand, kissing it softly.

"Hope you're ready to be wooed?" he teases and warmness sweeps over you. Hope that this time things will be different, know deep in your bones that this time Eddie isn't going to fuck up.

You cuddle into his chest and for the first time in a while, you feel content.

❤️

And that's it :) thank you to everyone who supported this series. I loved hearing all of your thoughts. Hope you like the final part 🖤

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff

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khuzena · 6 months

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12:59

| Michael Kaiser x g/n!reader

summary: everyone in life comes and goes, but sometimes he wishes you stayed; but it's too big of a request to ask.

Warning: toxic rs,no happy ending, cry bitches. Angst, Angst, Angst. (Cheating again because this man is the reddest, crimson flag ever)

A/n: was writing this in school, no activities for the entire day so i was writing this. (This is so cringe oh my god i swear I'll write fluff next time what character do you guys want as long as it aint barou because idk how to write him..)

It sometimes gets too hard to breathe at night.

There are times where he'd find solace in your embrace, you've made home in his heart and you know.

The cupid to your psyche, the romeo to his juliet. So tempting yet so dangerous.

Trust, such a simple thing yet so hard to keep and attain. Something he's won from you years ago yet he lost instantly.

A prodigy as he, the loyal man he used to be.

Rainy days like these you'd find yourself in his well-sculpted arms, inhaling his scent and his kisses marking you his.

Two weeks before the fallout, he's been a distant man, eyes filled with disdain for you and you don't know why. Just a month ago there were flowers on your doorstep, a genuine compliment through text and light kisses pressed on your forehead here and there.

Though recently, he's been looking at you with such hate in his eyes, like you ruined his life— like you're the reason you brought pain and suffering in his world. Why?

There you were, sitting at the marble kitchen island and eating some fresh fruits while watching a boring show on your phone.

Kaiser walked past you as he grabbed an energy drink from the fridge, not even sparing you a single glance.

"Hey, love." You said smiling, nervously fidgeting your fingers under the table.

Kaiser rolled his eyes before looking at you with such disgust. Was your hair really that unkempt? Did your acne come back again? Was he no longer attracted to you? Or was it because he's found someone else. You don't know but these questions spiral in your brain, wondering, asking where you went wrong.

"Hey." He replied, the irritation in his voice was too obvious.

"Can we talk?"

If anyone could see you right now they would compare you to a homeless man asking for scraps or spare change. But at least a hobo has more dignity than you.

Like a broke man begging for money and food to survive, you're pleading, throwing away all your dignity— if you even had any left; begging for a tiny speck of his attention. Some answer, some closure for why he's been treating you like this.

"I don't have time for that and you know it, I have a game again next week in france. Let's talk next time when I have the time"

Confusion and anger boiling in you at this point, what do you mean he has no time for a simple conversation? When he has all the time in the world to do stupid shit without you when he's actually free.

"What the fuck? You barely have any fucking time for me."

He stared down at you with a blanm expression, it was irritating how he wasn't even taking you seriously.

He didn't say a word before walking away to the comfort of his room.

A week later he came home.

It was 12:59 am.

A knock on your door disturbed the peace in the living room, you made your way to the main door. Sighing with relief that it was him, that he got home safely from whatever team party he attended.

"'M sorry…"

Your eyes widened, the moment you opened the door he lunged himself at you; his grip as he hugged you not loosening.

"What happened to you, micha?..."

The smell of alcohol getting on you, the red lipstick stains on his blouse and how pathetically dishevelled that man was.

The sight took your ability to speak away for a moment. You've never expected this, he told you earlier that he'd just be drinking with his team but to go as far as this?

"Don't touch me."

Kaiser tightened his grip, the shame on his face says it all. He's never cried this hard before as his tears soaked your shirt, "Liebling.."

"I said go away." Venom dripped from your voice, causing him to flinch in his very drunk state.

A loud thud can be heard throughout the house as he fell on his knees, like the shameless bastard he is, he cried, "I still love you", "I won't do it again I promise", "You're everything, please, schatz"

The next day, he was lying on the couch. His bags being too dark one could mistake him for a panda.

Even though his stomach is growling loudly, vomit bubbling in his throat or face dried with tears he couldn't help but just wail.

Hands trembling as he looked to the alarm clock to his left, 12:59 pm. Kaiser's legs wobbled as he checked every room, looking for a sign you were there but no.

"Liebling! Please, please. Where are you?"

His voice echoed in the walls of his apartment but there was no one who answered back.

Kaiser's lost you and it's all his fault yet he wailed pathetically on the floor, holding on to the railings of his stairs like someone took you away from him.

As time passed by, he's lost count of the days he's skipped training. His hunger being his least concern even though he barely eats nowadays as he spends most of his time staring at the ceiling.

Wishing for a miracle, wishing that god hears his prayer for one last time.

In this time of deep depression his spotify playlist has become his friend, his pillow being the tissue for his tears and the sheets crumpled from his thrashing around the bed.

kaiser: please come abck

kaiser: back***

kaiser: please

kaiser: i love you

kaiser: liebling

kaiser: liebling lets talk

kaiser: please.

*seen*

It's hopeless.

No matter how many times he blew up your phone with calls and texts you never answered. Though you never even blocked him too.

It was that time again, he called you again. Screen stained with tears as his eyes sparkled with hope when you finally picked up.

"Liebling, im sorry, im sorry."

The call was still on but he could only hear your heavy breathing, his breath hitched as he shakily held his phone to his ear.

"I know my sorrys won't change anything, but I still love you."

"I can't live without you"

"You're my everything."

"Please."

Please.

Still not a single word from you, he plopped down on his bed as he stared into nothing again in his empty room.

"Michael, stop."

He clutched his phone to his chest as he sobbed quietly, making sure you didn't hear him.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Stop apologising, Michael," you let out a sigh, "let's break up"

"Yeah, sure. Good night"

The call ended right then and there.

Kaiser kept replaying your voicemails over and over again. His nerves calmed down for a bit until the reality set in, he'd never hear your voice again.

There will no longer be any you standing outside the door with your arms wide open to congratulate him on his win or a lover he'd call his. The person he vowed to love and protect forever, gone.

And it's all his fault.

For one last time, he checked his phone as he saw a notification on his lock screen. The bright light almost blinded him.

love: i know you're still awake

love: go to sleep

*sent 12:59 am*

He sighed, putting away his phone and staring at the clock.

"Yeah, maybe it is getting late"

Note: we js had a halloween party 2 days ago, cosplayed as krul, had so much fun. °^°>🍦. I'll stop writing for kaiser i swear im js obsessed w him :((( (this fic not proofread m sorryyy)

#blue lock fanfic #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk angst #blue lock ansgt #blue lock fluff #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser fluff #kaiser angst

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fairytale-poll · 2 months

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ROUND 1B, MATCH 6 OUT OF 8!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Sayaka:

It's a clever play on the story where, rather than the littlest becoming human for love and a soul, instead she becomes a mermaid after loosing both, even gaining the bittersweet ending of having a chance at heaven but she still needs to do good after death

i was surprised to learn that sayaka's story is based on the little mermaid, but it makes more sense the more i think about it. such a heartbreaking, tragic tale that i get emotional ocer every time.

A lot of Madoka Magica fans believe she is based off of the original Little Mermaid story cuz, just like the original Little Mermaid, Sayaka loved a boy and said boy did not reciprocate. SPOILERS, she makes a contract with Kyubey to become a magical girl and in return her wish was to help Kyosuke (the guy she likes) who was disabled. Later on when she becomes a witch cuz she felt she wasn't good enough for Kyosuke and doesn't tell him about her feelings, her witch form is a mermaid. I suck at explaining but I hope my propaganda helps 🙏

(Major spoilers for madoka magical)Okay so I will admit her allusion to the little mermaid ain't super obvious, but let me explain, she is based on the original story for the little mermaid, she makes a wish for the sake of a boy she loves basically sacrificing her soul, well he ends up in love with another girl, and as a result she ends up going on a downward spiral and transforms into a monster known as a witch, her witch form is a mermaid.

Even though she's not a mermaid outside her witch form, her story is made to be a direct parallel to the self-sacrificial nature of the little mermaid, even letting herself die. This isn't the end tho because in one of the happier endings of the little mermaid she still becomes sea foam/dies but she also has a chance at becoming a sea spirit and helps others, this is very similar to Sayaka's final fate in the anime where after Madoka rewrites the universe Sayaka still gets corrupted/dies but instead of becoming a witch, she becomes apart of the law of cycles and helps Madoka save other magical girls. There are way to many similarities to her story and the little mermaid for it to just be coincidence imo.

Poor girl is stuck in a craptastic world where horrible monsters kill you, the only way to fight back is to become a zombie child soldier killing what remains of your own kind for survival, the wish you made will inevitably blow up in your face because the person granting it is a jackass, and the writer is hellbent on shitting on the girl power ethos of the magical girl genre by making it so that girls suffer and die for trying to achieve reasonable desires like "not starving to death" and attaining agency in their lives dooms you even harder because of womanly emotions. She needs a win. Also, she is explicitly paralleled with The Little Mermaid--she is a tragic figure who makes a deal to help the boy she loves in exchange for putting her life on a ticking clock, only to be passed up in favor of another girl. As a result, she dies and becomes something else--in this case, Oktavia von Seckendorff, "the mermaid witch."

Ponyo:

determined 5yo girls are more powerful than god

PONYO!!!!

As a child i did not even realize this was a little merm adaptation, but it really reads. She is sooo strange and other worldly and the movie absolutely captures that dreamlike fairy tale vibe

Ponyo a roughly five-year-old magical goldfish who can transform into a frog-type thing and a human girl. She's the eldest daughter of the literal goddess of the sea and a former human sailor given immortality. She falls in love with the five-year-old boy who cares for her and is thrilled to explore his ordinary yet magical world. She's bouncy, exuberant, and joyful. She loves ham. She doesn't have to give up her voice.

ponyo ponyo ponyo little fishie in the sea!

Little fishy

THEY LOVE HAM

#sayaka miki #ponyo #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #studio ghibli #the little mermaid #little mermaid #fairytale #fairy tale #poll tournament #poll bracket #character polls #polls #round 1 #round 1b #the little merpoll #ik i used 2 pictures for sayaka but i thought seeing her witchform was worthwhile bc of its mermaidness

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bobohu4eva · 10 months

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Good to You - Part 5

Characters: Idol!Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Maid AU, fluff, smut

Warnings for this chapter: Explicit unprotected sex

WC: 4.1k

Tag List: @scentlacigarette @ltamiee @listxn

A/N: Last part y'all! (unless I decide it needs an epilogue lol)

Masterlist

The bliss of laying there together was rudely uninterrupted by his alarm, and you both groaned at the shrill sound. He quickly turned it off, and sat up, pulling you up out of bed with him. Once standing, his hand brought your face to his one more time, kissing you with a gentleness very different from the rough passion he’d shown you only minutes earlier. He pulled away too quickly, smiling again and then he finally started getting his clothes on for the day.

You too started getting ready, and when you stepped in front of the bathroom mirror you groaned at the state he’d left your neck and chest in. In the past he’d left small marks here and there that were easy enough to cover with clothing or makeup, but this time, he’d left you with large purple splotches reaching from your chest, all the way up to your jaw. There was no way you’d be able to cover that, and it would surely stick around for days.

“What is it?” He must've heard your reaction, and a second later he was standing next to you.

His eyes widened when he saw the purple marks covering so much of your neck and chest, but he also had to fight back a smile.

“Oh shit.” He let out quietly, now shamelessly grinning.

“It's not funny! It'll be days till they're gone, what if someone sees me leaving here and gets the wrong idea?”

His smile vanished, falling into a look of disappointment. You could see how fast his heart dropped.

“The wrong idea? You still want to keep denying it, even now?” It came out sounding pained, confused.

“Denying what?” You knew you were playing dumb at this point, but you felt the confrontation you’d tried so hard to avoid coming at you now at full force.

He sighed, running one hand through his hair. The inner turmoil was clear on his face, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before finally meeting yours again.

“Really, y/n? We have sex, we sleep in the same bed, you let me kiss you and cum inside you but you still think people might get the ‘wrong idea?’”

He was tired, defeated. You couldn’t remember ever seeing him look this upset.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then tell me what’s going on here, please, we can't just keep ignoring everything.”

You could see it clearly in his eyes, he was pleading with you, he needed you to give him some kind of confirmation, before he broke down completely.

But you couldn’t, and he knew that, the desperate way you looked at him told him enough. You were begging him not to take this conversation where you both knew it was headed. He didn’t want to force you to talk about something you weren’t ready to talk about, but his own frustration was becoming too much. If you weren’t going to be the one to finally address it, he would. It had been too much, for too long, and he had to get it off his chest. Now that the last barriers had fallen, barriers meant to convince you both that it wasn't ‘real’, he knew he couldn’t keep acting like this was all normal and fine.

“I care about you, a lot, and I know you care about me too, and not just because you work for me. We both know we like each other too much and not talking about it is making me feel like i'm losing my fucking mind”

The way your lip quivered broke his heart even more. You didn’t have it in you to acknowledge it, you’d been pushing it away for too long, but now you had to, he left you no choice. He had a right to know, you knew it was cruel to do all of this with him without ever talking about what it meant. But that was the only way you’d been able to stay sane, by denying to yourself that he really liked you, or was attainable in any real way. Having him was impossible in your eyes, and you didn’t deserve it anyway, so you lied to yourself, until you were so deep in denial that his sudden admission made you go mute.

“Please, y/n. Just tell me that I’m not crazy, tell me you care about me the same way I care about you.”

You couldn't stay quiet when he looked at you like that, imploring you to give him even the smallest semblance of hope that you might finally validate the undeniable feelings you two shared for each other. But the words were still too hard to form, and the tears came before you could form a proper sentence.

You choked on the first sob, but eventually forced it out. “You’re right”

The intensity of your crying made it clear to him that you weren't able to say any more, so he just wrapped his arms around you, letting your tears stain his shirt as he reassured you that everything was okay, that the two of you would figure it out.

When even after a few minutes your tears showed no signs of slowing down, he started to talk again, saying everything he'd wanted to for so many months, finally admitting everything to you.

“Contacting that company, and them sending you here that day, is the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time. You know you're so much more to me than a housekeeper, and I know I'm not just your boss either. I want you, I don't want you to work for me, I want you to live here and sleep in my bed and have sex with me because there's something real between us and not because I pay you, and you know that. I told you how I feel about you a while ago already, and I know it's asking too much and I could never be a good enough lover to you anyway, but that's what I want. I just want you to be mine.”

His words hit you like a tsunami after all of the months of denial, confirming both your wildest dreams but also greatest fear. The tears had finally slowed down a bit by the time he'd finished his confession, but words were still too difficult. When you were able to pull back enough to meet his eyes, all you could think to do was kiss him.

“I'm sorry if that was too much, you don't have to say anything, if you aren't ready.” He said when your lips eventually parted.

You shook your head, and after a few deep breaths, finally gathered the strength to speak again. “I've been lying to myself so much, I really didn't want to believe that someone like you could fall for someone like me, you're way too good for me, I don't deserve you at all.”

“Whoa, what? Why would you think that?” Of all the reasons to deny what had been going on, he'd never once even considered that. The confused look on his face tugged at your heartstrings.

“I'm just some girl who showed up to help clean one day, and then never really left. But you, I mean, there's a reason millions of people love you so much. You could have anyone you want, and I'm just me.”

Despite having the strength to talk again, you were still crying. The way you looked at him when you said it had a lump forming in his chest. Baekhyun had kept the tears at bay so far, but now, he too felt them spill over.

You could feel his tears wetting your forehead as he held you again, your words bringing on an onslaught of emotions, none being good. To him, hearing you speak of yourself so negatively was gut wrenching.

“You're so fucking wrong, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, even if it's just for a little while, if anything, it's me who doesn't deserve you. I'll never be able to take you out to a movie, or a nice dinner, or even just a fucking walk down the street, you constantly have to worry about crazy people seeing you come in or out of here, my work schedule is an insane mess, I’m only ever going to make your life harder than it has to be, you deserve so much better than that.”

You shook your head as best you could while buried in his chest. “You're crazy.”

“I'm not crazy, I just love you.”

Both of you tensed up, he hadn't meant to let it slip so soon, but taking it back wasn't an option, he knew he meant it.

“You.. love me?” That one word stole your breath and left you wide eyed, staring up at him.

“I- I didn't mean to tell you so soon, and you don't have to say anything back, but yeah. I love you.” This time, those three words were barely above a whisper.

Both hands reached for his face, resting on his red cheeks, swollen from crying, as you took him in. He wouldn't meet your eyes, too embarrassed by his slip up, and too worried that you wouldn't say it back.

“Baekhyun?” You needed him to look at you, and finally, he did. “I love you too.”

The way he perked up at those simple words was devastatingly cute. “Really?”

You nodded, smiling, and he just looked so happy in that moment, you wished you could burn it into the back of your brain for eternity.

Once again, all you could think to do was kiss each other even more, in a feeble attempt to make up for lost time. But one question still plagued the back of your mind.

“What happens now? Being your housekeeper and working for you, it just feels..wrong”

He thought for a second, and then a lightbulb seemed to go off in his mind.

“Marry me.”

He blurted it out without as much as a second thought, but he didn't take it back. Instead, he started getting down on one knee, and the tears were back, trickling down your face even more urgently than before.

“I mean it, no more working for me, what's mine is yours, all that, I just want you here with me. Fuck the household stuff I'll do both of our laundry I'll even learn to cook, and you can hold me to that. I don't have a ring but we can go get one, any ring you want I'll buy it, and then we can go to the courthouse. We can worry about everything else later.”

The look of complete shock still very clear on your face made him swallow, nervous, as he went on.

“Ever since I was a kid I always thought I'd grow up to get married and start a family, but then I debuted and I just kind of learned to deal with the fact that that would never happen. But when I met you, you made it feel like I was finally getting a little taste of that. Whenever I come home and you're here smiling and waiting for me, it just feels so good and right and especially since we started sleeping together it's like that dream I had before debuting is actually possible, just barely out of reach, because you wouldn't let it go quite that far, until this morning. And for a while now, every time I think about that kind of life, coming home to a wife who loves me, maybe a few kids someday, I can only imagine it with you. You're the only one I want that with. You're the one I want to make my wife, if you'll let me.”

He looked up at you, teary eyed, but hopeful, waiting for your response.

You nodded, and eventually, a “yes” passed your lips.

There was a part of you that was screaming to take it back, to say no to him, but deep down, you simply couldn't. You trusted him more than anyone else, and the more it sunk in, really, truly, loved him too. Not only that, but he loved you. Of course marrying so soon was kind of stupid, and everything else was terrifying and uncertain, but if you had him, you knew you'd figure it out. You'd been staying at his place for long enough, you knew him well, and there wasn't a single ounce of doubt within you, that he would be anything less than the best husband a girl could ask for. Baekhyun was the sweetest, loveliest, funniest, warmest person you'd ever met. He felt like home. Of course you would marry him.

It was almost laughable how dramatic it all was in the moment, but the way you both smiled and laughed while he stood up and kissed you just felt right, and you knew that was where you were supposed to be.

“I can't believe I asked you that, and I really can't believe you said yes, what the fuck, that's so cool. I love you so much.”

By now you were smiling so hard it was starting to hurt your face, but you couldn't have cared less. He kept peppering kisses across your face, each one paired with another “I love you”, until he finally pulled away enough to get some air.

“You're gonna be my wife, my lovely, beautiful, caring, super sexy wife.”

You could never get sick of his smile, it lit up the room so effortlessly, banishing any negative feelings to hell, making it impossible for you not to smile back.

“Let's go get a ring.” He said.

“But don't you have-”

Fuck.

You both realized at the same time, that he was already almost an hour late for work, and the ring would have to wait. For a second he considered ditching again, but two days in the row would be hard to forgive.

Luckily he was already dressed and pretty much ready, so all you said was ‘go’ and another ‘I love you’ before basically pushing him out the door, as he kept his hands on you as long as possible, insisting on one more kiss before he left.

Now alone, you played it all over again in your head, and again, and it still almost felt too good to be true, but now you knew that it wasn't. There was no more denying it, hell, you were gonna marry him. And you couldn't have been happier about it.

When Baekhyun finally arrived on set, not even the annoyed faces of the staff and his band mates could bring his mood down. He went right up to his friends and started hugging them, still smiling, as they looked more and more confused.

Junmyeon was the first to speak up. “What took you so long? Where the hell were you yesterday? Why are you so happy? Are you on drugs?”

Once he'd given everyone a hug, he looked back at their baffled faces, still grinning like an idiot.

“I'm engaged.”

“You're what?” Chanyeol was never really the best at keeping quiet in situations like these.

“I'm serious.”

“You don't even have a girlfriend?!”

That was when Sehun connected the dots, eyes going wide before laughing out loud, almost crying from his amusement. “I fucking knew it!”

The rest of the men still stood there stunned and confused as Baekhyun just stood there with a big silly grin on his face, and Sehun had fallen to the floor from how hard he was laughing.

“Knew what??” At least two of the others said, almost in unison.

“He's marrying his maid.”

They looked at Baekhyun, expecting him to argue such a ridiculous claim, but instead he nodded happily.

“Is he serious..?” Chanyeol still didn't buy it.

“She's not working for me anymore now, obviously, that would be super weird, but I asked her to marry me and she said yes!”

“And you're sure that's a good idea?”

“Positive.”

The others were still skeptical, sure, but they hadn't seen their friend look so happy in years, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered. If he thought this was the way to go, they'd support him.

Luckily the shoot went by quickly and they ended up back on schedule by the end of the day, and Baekhyun had never been more ready to get back home in his life.

You too had been waiting anxiously for his return, and when he came back on time rather than an hour late as you'd expected you were overjoyed, running to the door and wrapping yourself around him before he even had the chance to close it again.

“Did someone miss me?”

“Are you kidding, those were the longest 8 hours of my life.”

He chuckled, “mine too, baby, mine too.”

His lips were on yours again in no time, his hands on your thighs keeping your legs wrapped around his waist. Holding onto him like this, he felt so nice and strong, an anchor for you, your biggest source of comfort. You never wanted to let go. His body was warm and firm and his lips tasted like home, so much so that you whined a little when he inevitably pulled away.

“Do you want to go pick out a ring?” His forehead was pressed to your own, still holding you up.

You pouted, “Wanna stay like this.”

“Okay my love, whatever you say.”

He walked you both to the couch, sitting down with you now on his lap. You couldn't get enough, hands feeling up his chest and shoulders, kissing him with greed and urgency, all of which he returned.

You two had had sex before, of course, but this was nothing like those other times. Just getting to kiss you and touch you without any restrictions made everything so much better, and neither of you had even started getting undressed yet. Just the feeling of having you on his lap straddling him, kissing him and touching him for no other reason than that you wanted to, nearly made him cry with joy.

“You're gonna kill me, fuck, you're so perfect.”

“Take me to bed,” you whispered in his ear, and he let out a soft moan before standing up, walking you both to his room.

You were quickly laid down on the bed, hands impatiently tugging at your clothes until they were mostly gone.

Baekhyun had always been… orally fixated, to say the least, and he was almost unreasonably excited to finally get his mouth on you the way he's been craving for months. His hands made quick work of your underwear, sliding them off before he placed his face right between your thighs.

“So pretty.” He mumbled, moreso to himself, as he stared at your most intimate area, making you squirm and whine for him to just get on with it.

Instead, he attached his mouth to your inner thigh, sucking a mark onto the soft skin, before doing the same again, and again.

“You have no idea how many times I've imagined this, how fucking bad I've wanted to do this the last few months.” And then, ever so softly, he pressed his lips to your clit.

Finally, it seemed, he was done teasing you. His tongue slipped its way between your folds, eagerly licking up your wetness, before enveloping you in his mouth completely. And fuck, was it good.

Too good, almost. He didn't hold back one bit, devouring you with unmatched enthusiasm, moaning into your pussy unabashedly. Within mere minutes, he had you teetering on the edge, ready to cum in his mouth. Your hands were tugging on his hair, probably a bit too hard, but he was too busy to give a shit. He'd probably let you scalp him if it meant he got to stay between your legs.

Once he’d figured out what made you whimper and pull his hair the hardest, he didn’t stop, not even when you started to fall.

The first orgasm was like an electric shock, shaking you physically, mentally, hell, probably even spiritually. As he brought you to that first peak you twitched and writhed, broken up versions of his name falling off your lips along with moans and gasps.

Once it was over, your thighs tried to close around his head, willing him to give you a break, but his hands just pulled your legs back open. He pushed you through the over sensitivity, straight into the build up of another earth shattering orgasm.

He didn't want to hear anything coherent from you, and you gave him exactly what he craved. You were a mess, desperate, sweating, completely under his spell. His tongue by itself was enough to have you almost crying, begging for more, so when he pushed two slender fingers into you, you nearly screamed.

It was too much, his mouth, and now his fingers, pushing in and out as his tongue stayed flicking your clit, sucking it past his lips every now and again to see how crazy he could make you feel. And before you even had time to fully realize where he was taking you, you were cumming again.

Once again he rode you through it, only pulling away when the overstimulation made you twitch so intensely you nearly kicked him.

His face, when you could finally see it again, was beaming at you, mouth and chin wet with your arousal. “You taste so fucking good.”

His smile grew when you made grabby hands at him, and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before moving back up your body, his hips now resting between your own.

You tugged on his clothes, just now realizing how completely dressed he still was while you were only left in your bra. His lips pressed themselves to yours, and his hand snuck behind your back, undoing the clasp until you were fully nude, and finally, he got up to strip himself as well.

When he was finally between your thighs again, he was naked as you, and you felt his hardness between your legs.

“Y/n, baby.” The hand that wasn't propping him up was on your face, and the way he was looking at you stole your breath. “I love you, so, so, much.”

Before you could return his words, his hips were pushing forward, and he was inside you. The whimper you let out was music to his ears, but he needed to hear something else.

“Look at me.” Your eyes met his. “Say it, tell me you love me.”

You tried to get the words out, but they got caught in a moan when he started to move, slowly rolling his hips.

“Fuck, please.”

His words broke the trance, and finally, you said it. “I love you, Baekhyun.”

His lips were on yours again, and now, you didn't ever want them to leave. You just needed him close, as close as humanly possible. Your legs wrapped around him, hands on his back pushing him into you, even when your chests were already completely flush.

You too felt how different it was, having sex, without any holding back, knowing that you loved him and he loved you. With every push into you, a moan fell from your lips, which he swallowed with his own. He somehow felt warmer, heavier, even more irresistible than you could've dreamed of. You wanted to melt into him completely, feel every inch of his body against your own, no matter how impossible that might be. This was heaven, it had to be.

He was just as affected, so much so, that he felt himself start to lose control far too soon.

“Fuck, baby, I'm gonna- I can't-”

You looked at him, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to hold himself back, but when your hand reached his face he opened them again.

“I love you.” You told him, again, and that was all it took. A few more thrusts and he let go, taking you with him as he fell.

You both stayed there, heavy breaths slowly mellowing out as the high faded away. Neither of you wanted to move, but the sweaty stickiness of it all finally had him rolling off of you.

His arm was slung across his eyes, and he was just smiling so big.

“I love you.” He said, and then again, and again, like a mantra, until your head rested itself on his chest, and his lips found your forehead.

His love for you, and your love for him, felt so certain, like something you could almost reach out and touch. It washed over you like a warm blanket, and you layed there, using him as your pillow, with one of his strong arms securing you in place. And just like that, you both drifted to sleep, dreaming of all the wonderful things you'd do together, for many, amazing years to come.

Fin

#baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #exo #baekhyun fic #exo fluff #exo fic #exo smut #baekhyun fanfic #exo fanfic

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tobiasdrake · 11 days

Note

Dragonball has a couple interesting redemptions to talk about. Like Piccolo Jr., where depending on how you interpret his character changes both whether he has any significant crimes to be redeemed of, and the exact moment where this redemption begins. If you hold the Jr. is a seperate individual from Piccolo Daimao, then the only crimes he ever really committed are Attempted Murder (Of Goku) and mass property damage. And if you hold that Piccolo Jr. Was born a demon and lost that demonic status through positive character development, then his redemption technically occurs before he spends any time with Gohan, because he can't have been a demon when he killed Goku and Raditz (As Dragonball establishes that those killed by demons don't go to the afterlife). That scenario really makes you remember that Piccolo Jr. was only 3 years old when he fought Goku. And that's just one possible reading of his character

Piccolo is a complicated entity. There are basically three, arguably four versions of the character - but they are ultimately different facets of the same guy.

There's the original Piccolo-Daimao/Great Demon King Piccolo, of course. What's interesting about Daimao is that he seemingly lacks moral agency.

Piccolo isn't a demon because of how evil he is. He's a demon because, metaphysically, he is a demon. This is not a turn of phrase. It is not a title. It is not a fanciful status you can attain by kicking enough puppies. It is a mythological being.

When the Nameless Namekian ascended to become God, he purged all corruption and wickedness from his heart, and that wickedness became the demon Piccolo. As a demon, Piccolo is literally evil incarnate. He can only know evil. He can only be evil. He is incapable of anything else.

This man has no true goals, desires, or ambitions. He's just evil. Because he is composed entirely of evil and can know nothing but evil. By circumstances of his existences, he's not even really a person; He is just evil.

Even his idea of world domination is just genocide in slow motion.

He wants to kill everything for maximum evilness. He has a 43-year plan for disseminating fear, anarchy, and violence around society before he finishes killing all life on this planet. This is not a three-dimensional human being. This is what you get when you put an abstract concept into a body. He is not physically capable of making moral choices.

The moment everything changes is, of course, when Goku presents a very compelling argument that he should get his shit together.

This is the moment that people often point to as evidence that the two Piccolos are different characters.

Moments before he spontaneously explodes for... honestly, no clear reason at all... Piccolo speaks to the egg he's reincarnating himself into. It's a weird thing for him to do if the egg contains his own soul or essence or what have you.

But. Well. Contain it, the egg does. Piccolo hatches from his own egg with full continuity of consciousness from his past self. He remembers his identity, he remembers Goku, he remembers God and their relationship, he even remembers the language of his home planet from long before he and God ever divided.

His identity, his personality, every scrap of knowledge he ever knew, is all intact in this new body. Piccolo identifies himself as the Piccolo-Daimao reborn.

Which God independently corroborates.

Piccolo never died; If he had, God would have died as well. God cannot exist if Piccolo-Daimao does not. This is how the metaphysics work.

An argument could be made that a reincarnation is not entirely the same being. It is nonetheless a new life, a new being. Avatar: The Last Airbender goes to great lengths to show how very different the reincarnations of a single person can be, as each incarnation is born as a blank slate.

But. Uh. Piccolo Jr. wasn't born as a blank slate. He was born with Piccolo's memories, identity, personality, ambitions, etc. fully intact. So trying to label him as a brand new person untethered from the old is ultimately splitting hairs.

However.

What he wasn't reborn as, is a demon. And that's where things get interesting.

Piccolo reincarnated himself into a new body, but that new body was a new body. In terms of personality and memory and identity, he woke up the same Daimao as before - but metaphysically, he woke up as a fully three-dimensional being, suddenly capable of choice and complexity and moral agency.

He hatched himself into a new Namekian being, rather than a demon spawn.

This new form of Piccolo still wanted to take over the world. Because that's what he wanted when he was a demon. Piccolo is a ball in motion from the time he hatches, continuing to pursue the agenda he had in place before his reincarnation gambit.

But. It's. Complicated now, because he can't just do evil for evil's sake. His goals have to make sense now. They have to be a thing that a person would want. Before he even meets Gohan, he's already softened up from Pure Evil Incarnate.

The Demon Lord of old didn't really want to rule the world. It was just a pretense for a slow and cruel genocide. But in this new state, suddenly he cares about his prospective empire. He's concerned now about the wellbeing of the people he would govern.

Eight years ago his "plans for this world" were for everyone to die. But here he is like "How dare this asshole try to kill my planet when I intend to rule it!?" He's getting confused about his own motivation because his original motivation was just "Do Evil".

In this form, Piccolo is self-aware now. And he's not happy about his place in the universe.

Before, he was acting on just... raw evilness. But now he's emotional. He's bitter. Cynical. Resentful of God. He can feel things now. And with the arrival of the Saiyans bearing down on him, Piccolo's thoughts have turned to his legacy.

People fixate on The Moment but it's the capstone of a point that had been hammered in and hammered in: That Piccolo is changing, that he's been changing since the moment he hatched from that egg. That he is even capable of change because he ceased to be a demon on that fateful day years ago.

It's on the shoulders of all of this groundwork that the fateful moment everyone remembers takes place.

From this point forward, Piccolo is unquestionably 100% a protagonist, though he's still a bit of an asshole.

The debatable transformation in his character comes from his assimilation of Nail.

While Piccolo and Nail's merger does have some fairly explicit effects on his character....

It's not super clear whether his developing sense of empathy for others is a result of it, or a consequence of the growth he's already undergone up to this point.

In either case, Piccolo's development ultimately brings him to his final transformation:

This last transformation is... unusual. In a sense, it devalues the redemptive journey Piccolo's been on up to this point. Despite Piccolo repeatedly insisting "I'M DRIVING, You're just going to be FOOD FOR ME," the new being that results from their joining is at once both Piccolo and God, and neither all the same.

He still answers to the name Piccolo for convenience's sake.

But he's different now. He's humble. Wise. A spiritual leader who offers reverence to the divine and guidance to the uncertain.

This is not the same man who gleefully spat in the face of God.

Look at him there, offering spiritual clarity. Piccolo would never.

This new version of Piccolo is effectively a brand new character, bearing some traits from both Piccolo and God. This is not a product of character development, but because they waved a magic wand and fused into a single guy. So it feels kinda cheap.

But at the same time, it's not. Because Piccolo's growth and development wasn't wasted. Indeed, it's that growth and development that brought him to this point; That made it possible for Piccolo and God to rejoin one another in the first place.

This final transformation is Piccolo's redemption; The culmination of a long journey that he's been on, from Pure Evil Incarnate to a three-dimensional man standing at the altar of God in his Temple in Heaven, seeking the ability to protect the people he loves.

The prodigal son finding his way home, to become himself again.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #piccolo

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evergreen-femme · 9 months

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Hey, I'm that bitchy anon from earlier.

I wanted to apologize for how I came across. It wasn't fair to make you feel bad for your progress, or to belittle your accomplishments.

With that in mind though, the progress you've made is simply unattainable for a lot of us. I've been out since 26 as well. You didn't gain a bunch of weight when you went on HRT, or more when you hit 30, and I'm sorry but no amount of hard work can change that for most of us.

I'll absolutely cop to the jealousy accusations. Who wouldn't be? But seeing your post felt a little bit like watching Christy Brinkley back in the 90s going "This too could be you!" when the reality is that No the fuck it Can't.

I have to get over that, but the people falling over themselves to shit-talk me is a good indication of how far being conventionally attractive will go, no matter how much lip service I see to the contrary.

You won't hear from me again, sorry for the essay. I hope your day goes well

so what ur saying is that im some kind of permatwink elfmoder and as a legendary being i shouldn’t put myself forward as an example of an attainable transformation? cool i guess i’m really amazing (✿◠‿◠)

mortals, don't even try to interact or relate to me!

#what an 'apology'

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cod-dump · 1 year

Text

SoapGraves: Something Might Be There

(Onesided SoapGhost, mentioned/past RoachGhost)

___

He noticed small things here and there. Lingering stares, and if they brushed fingertips passing something off Graves would take his time pulling away. A pat on the back felt warm, affectionate. Ghost noticed too and when they were alone, he brought it up.

"He's taken a liking to you."

Soap scoffed, "Sure he has."

It was like as soon as Ghost said something, Soap started to notice it more. He swore he caught Graves just daydreaming while he looked at him, just slightly smiling. Soap didn't say anything, he wasn't sure what he would say if he did. Graves was attractive, charming. Much more attainable than Ghost. Whenever he tried to be friendly, Ghost brushed him off. Sure, sometimes he would laugh at his jokes or even make dumb jokes himself, but didn't seem to really mean anything to him.

It was like Ghost, in the beginning, was cold and uncaring. Then he began to open up, started to put down his walls. Then, without warning, the walls came back up. Soap never stopped trying, but it was getting more and more discouraging. One evening, after a mission that went sour (thanks to Soap ignoring a direct order), Soap tried to ease things over with Ghost after getting chewed out by Price.

"How 'bout a drink, yeah?"

"No, I have files to fill out after you botched the mission."

It was such a cold exchange and Ghost shoved past him so harshly that Soap almost lost his footing. Soap knew Ghost was mad, but he didn't think he was that mad. His words had stabbed into Soap's heart. So he decided he would go have that drink... Alone. Soap made his way to the local bar in the town neighboring the base. He saw a few fellow taskforce members and Shadows there, plus some of the locals. Soap found himself a isolated spot at the bar and got himself a drink.

Apparently Gaz was there and noticed him. The man made his way over after excusing himself from the table he sat at.

"Hey, man. You look like you had a rough day. Or should I say week?"

Soap knocks back his drink before asking the bartender for another.

"Week has been shit, but today makes it seem like that was a walk in the park."

Gaz sucks in some air through his teeth before sitting next to him. Soap gets his drink and doesn't waste time downing half of it.

"Slow down! It's not going anywhere."

Soap humorlessly laughs, "Plan on downing as much as I can before I have to go back to the base."

"Shit, what happened?"

"Fucked up on the field. Pissed of Price and Ghost. Especially Ghost. And the good lord and everyone and their mammy knows that Ghost does not let shit go easily."

Gaz winces. He sits there silently and Soap decides to talk. To rant, actually.

"I feel like no matter what I do, if I fuck up or not, Ghost just doesn't care. He pushes me to the side whenever he doesn't have to interact with me, sometimes he doesn't even acknowledge me on the field!"

Gaz has a look on his face that was full of pity. Soap finishes his drink and asks for another.

"God, we were doing so good for a bit. Felt like there might've actually been a connection! Like he was opening up to me! Then in a blink of an eye he's back to acting like- Like-"

Soap groans loudly in frustration before hitting his head on the bar counter. Gaz pats his back, shaking his head.

"I know you like him, but I don't see it going anywhere. He's too hung up on the past to focus on the future."

"Roach died fucking ten years ago!"

Soap winces when he realizes how loud he said that. Gaz glares at the people who stared until they looked away.

"Look, he needs a therapist. That much is certain."

Soap laughs, "Damn straight."

The rest of the night goes by quickly. Soap ended up getting cut off and in his drunken state became royally pissed off. Gaz did his best to herd Soap out of the bar with the help of some buddies but the Scotsman was proving difficult. Right as they got to the door, Soap whipped around and pointed at Gaz.

"I-I'm not going back! I live here now!"

"Johnny-"

"Don't call me that! Don't you dare call me that!"

Gaz stepped back as Soap stepped closer, a fire in his eyes. The bell rings as someone walks in and Soap turns to see Graves. It was surprising to see him considering he almost never went out to drink unless he had something to celebrate. Much like Price.

"Easy, soldier."

Gaz turns to look at the Shadows who had gathered at a couple pushed together tables not long after Soap started to get rowdy. Two of the Shadows pointed at one of them who held up his phone and shrugged. Seems like Soap was at that point where the Shadows thought it was necessary to contact their superior officer. And it did seem necessary.

"How 'bout we go out and get you something to eat, how does that sound?"

Gaz was almost surprised to see Soap visibly calming down in Graves' presence. Graves looks to Gaz and the others and waves them off in a "Everything is under control" manner before turning back to Soap. Soap was swaying in place, and if a strong breeze were to flow by, he might tip over. Over a long silence, Soap nods. Graves wraps a arm around the man's soldiers and leads him out of the bar.

Soap was practically leaning his full weight against Graves as they walked down the street. They went to a Mexican restaurant and Graves got Soap some tacos. They sat at one of the outside tables, Graves figuring the cool night air would help Soap sober up. Though he doubted that he would be sober at any point in the near future.

"How's the tacos?"

"Fucking delicious," said Soap, mouth half full.

Graves takes a tip of his drink as Soap eats. Once he got to his third taco, he spoke.

"Did you drive to town?"

"Walked."

"Ah. Well, I don't see you walking back. How about I give you a lift."

Soap starts to laugh loudly, "I'm not that easy!"

Graves snorts at the combination of Soap's thickened accent and the slur in his voice.

"Not like that, Soap."

"Nuh uh. So is!" Soap leans close like he's trying to tell Graves a secret, "I see how you look at me."

Graves flushes and Soap laughs again. He then winks, "I don't mind. You can look all you want."

Graves shakes his head as Soap finishes his tacos. Graves helps Soap stand who found it hard to get out of the chair, "C'mon, let's get you back to base and in bed."

"Wow! You can't wait, can you?"

Graves seems to ignore him and leads him up the street to where his car is parked.

"Y'know, maybe I will be easy. Just this once."

Graves keeps quiet as he let's Soap ramble. At first it was very, very bad and corny pick up lines. But it turned into Soap just talking about whatever came to mind. The night sky to the cracks in the sidewalk. When they got to Graves' car Soap pointed at Graves, his finger inches from the American's nose.

"You're drunk! I'll drive!"

"Sure, fat chance."

After several minutes of struggling to wrangle Soap, Graves manages to get him in the car, Soap finally gives and sits. As Graves reached over him to buckle him in, Soap gropes his bicep and whistles.

"When we get married, you're carrying me down the aisle."

Graves mutters to himself, "Lord give me strength."

"Think he already did."

The drive to the base seemed impossibly long considering they had to stop several times for Graves to get Soap in the seat after he took his seat belt off. When they finally got to base and were walking in, Soap stopped and grabbed Graves by his shoulders.

"Let's go on a date."

Graves shakes his head, a fond look on his face, "Try asking me that again when you're sober."

Soap stares at Gravea before he twirls in place. After spinning three times and almost falling, he stops and turns to Graves.

"I'm sober now! How about a date?"

"Soap, you're still drunk."

Soap frowns, "Oh..."

Graves laughs and puts a arm on Soap's shoulders, "C'mon, time for bed."

It was safe to say that they did not make it to the barracks with Soap's dignity in tack. Graves felt bad for him as he managed to get to Soap's room finally. He had to take Soap's shoes off and force him to lay down in bed. Soap kept insisting that he wasn't tired, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out. And when he woke with his head pounding and a sense of dread, he knew he acted like an idiot the previous night.

He tried to piece together what all had happened the night before but after his fifth drink everything went black. He remembered Gaz being there so he decided to go talk to him about what happened. It took him a minute to find him considering his phone was dead, but he eventually found him in the gym. Gaz noticed him quickly and walked over to him.

"Hey man, how you feel?"

"Like shit. Listen, I do not remember shit about last night. Do you know if I did anything stupid?"

A Shadow laughs loudly, "Did you do anything stupid?"

Soap turns and Gaz glares, "I got this, Rico. Go mind your own business."

The Shadow holds his hands up and leaves them be while snickering. Soap turns back to Gaz, "What happened?!"

"Well, you had a bit too much and, um, started to get a bit much to handle so, uh, someone called Graves to come get you. That happened after you made several comments about Ghost being um... Actually, I didn't really understand what you were saying."

Soap's eyes widen, "No..."

"Yea..."

"Oh god... What else happened?"

"Don't know. After Graves got you no one knows what happened except when he took you to your room. Farah said you were singing. Quite horribly, might I add."

Soap covers his face, "I was an ass to Graves, I just know it."

"Most likely."

Soap groans. Something tells him his actions from last night were going to bite him in the ass.

#john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #phillip graves #fanfic #call of duty #i wrote this instead of sleeping #one sided feelings #past relationship #soap x graves #soapgraves #simon ghost riley #ghost x roach (mentioned)#modern warfare

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horrorknife · 3 months

Text

brokeback mountain still fucking me up almost 12 hours later. i cant stop thinking about it. ennis and his quiet sad cowboy life...he only wanted to survive but he wasn't really living his life, not the way he should have or wanted to. all because he was so traumatized by the murder of a gay man that he was forced to See the aftermath of. and it makes sense, of course it does. but jack wants to Live, not survive, and he wants to be true to himself enough to have a daily life with the man he loves.

ennis survives until the end because that's all he's doing. he hides himself, burrows so deep into the closet that he decides a life with jack isn't ever attainable. but jack wants to fight for it! he wants to share the closet with ennis, but ennis is too scared to even open the door.

i kept thinking, too, about how jack was more "visibly" queer than ennis was despite never publicly saying or doing anything. aguirre is openly homophobic to jack because he saw the two of them fucking around. but when he goes to texas to rodeo, it just seems like there's this underlying vibe of everyone around him Knowing he's gay. he's treated badly at the bar and we're led to believe it's because he got bucked off earlier that night, but the vibe is. Weird. the way people look at him doesn't feel right. jack's parents also seem to know what's going on if there's anything to be said about their weird behavior at the very end of the movie and his father's absolute refusal to let his ashes get spread at brokeback + how cold he is to ennis.

another interesting thing to me was that ennis doesn't open up to anyone except jack. he's quiet and straightforward but he's open with jack in a way he isn't with anyone else, not even alma (during their marriage) or his daughters. it seems like he can only be honest with Himself if it involves jack. but jack keeps everything close to his chest and really doesn't ever come out and tell ennis very much. he lies about aguirre being homophobic to him and he never tells him about the other gay guy he met. he's not open about parts of his childhood like ennis is. he's a self-contained world.

the irony of all of this, of course, is that ennis' survival method spawned from the murder of a gay man does allow him to survive while jack is brutally beaten to death for being gay. i'm just so obsessed with all of it. i know "i wish i knew how to quit you" is meme-ified to hell and back but it's such a crazy fucking line. you get it instantly. if you've ever been in any kind of situationship like that you Know what it means and how it feels. fuuuuck man. there's a lot more i could say but this is probably pretty disorganized already i just had a lot of thoughts and shit to say. tbh i have a lot More to say but this post is already long lol

#i should really do this kind of thing more often but i get like #embarrassed i guess. sharing my thoughts and feelings about stuff like this. im trying to get better at it #jonah.txt

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wee-chlo · 5 months

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Been hyperfixating on Hazbin Hotel lately and I wasn't hip to all the lore and shit from years ago; I vaguely remember being being mad about the pilot but I don't remember specifics. But that trailer is dope and here's my theories; the more knowledgeable who know factoids can correct me. I watch Helluva Boss out of the corner of my eye and it seems like they're in the same universe so I'll be drawing on that too.

The vibe I'm getting is that Hell is structured in not just the rings of Hell, each ruled by the respectful Deadly Sins, and not just in terms of Imps, Demon Princes, etc., but also in terms of those creatures born of Hell and the damned who end up there.

People like Vag, Angel, Alastor, etc. are the Damned. They were once human, they died, they were cast into Hell for any number of reasons. People like Charlie, Stolas, Lucifer, Blitz and Moxie are all Infernal.

The Purge only effects the Damned. The lords and ladies of Hell, the princes and princesses, even the Imps who are the lowest cast of infernal folk, are not targeted.

Damned like Alastor may attain levels of power that protect them from the Purge, but not because they're off-limits officially. They're just too powerful to justify attacking. Alastor could kill off dozens of angels and the exchange is what? One demon?

Meanwhile, the majority of the Damned aren't juggernauts of infernal wrath. They're not dealmakers. They're just... people. They can't fight, they can't really defend themselves any more than the average human could. So the angels focus on them, and the powerful Damned let it happen because why ruin a perfectly good status quo?

Charlie is not in danger from the Purge; her position as a Princess of Hell protects her from that. But she takes it upon herself to not just try and fix this overpopulation problem but also, eventually, stand up for the Damned who are powerless to stop the angels slaughtering them en mass.

She tries to do it through official means, polite means. Talking to the angels, working within the system. But eventually it becomes clear that it just won't work.

Given that her father is a fallen angel, literally Lucifer Morningstar, I wonder if her journey won't mirror his in some way. Depends on how they write him, I suppose.

So ultimately, she decides that official, polite, "legal" means of fixing the problem won't do, because officials within that system don't want it to work. So she opts instead to rally the Damned to fight back, not just the lowly folk with no powers to speak of but powerful dealmakers like Alastor. And eventually, it works. But then she's caught in the crossfire of the Purge, perhaps locked into a section of the ring of Hell where the Damned live and are forced to remain for the duration of the Purge.

That's my prediction, anyway.

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel theory

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rozaceous · 1 year

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Road to Ninja!Mariko? Or maybe a zombie apocalypse au Mariko? I’m sorry I only have very stupid ideas.

An AU where she is reincarnated earlier in canon? Like around 2nd or 3rd war?

anon, you had no way of knowing this, but my original naruto oc was not in fact mariko, though the two share any number of traits! i ended up abandoning that line bc i couldn't wrangle the amnt of foreknowledge required to make canon come out vaguely canon-like, my ideas about canon kept evolving, and there wasn't a plot so much as a few scenes i had in mind.

but here, have nohara yua, who got assigned to uchiha shisui's genin team. (yes, that nohara) she's end-of 3rd war era, approximately, bc kishimoto's timeline is...flexible. i know this isn't quite what you were poking at, but it's what i've got so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yua all but slams down the last of the dishes on the puny dining table in Sasuke's puny apartment before slamming herself down in front of it all.

"All right, kid," she says, starting to serve herself from the pot of stew. Sasuke warily follows suit. "We're gonna have a talk, and it'll be a bit gross because feelings are a thing, but bear with me. Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu."

Yua prods her stew until it's fully mixed with her rice. "Right. So, excepting my older sister with whom I do not get on most days ending in a y, and a friend who's probably crazier than me, I've basically lost everyone I've ever loved. Family, friends, mentors--my heart's a graveyard. And this isn't my idea of attempting compassion," she says warningly, not missing Sasuke's sudden curled lip. He frowns at her instead, caught out. "I'm telling you this because you should know from the get-go that I'm not what you might call emotionally stable. On the other hand, most shinobi aren't, but then again, most aren't quite the level of fucked up I've attained. Though I can name a few. Whatever. That said, I'm also really fucking good at my job."

She shovels a couple of bites into her mouth while Sasuke looks on with an expression of vague disgust at her lack of manners. Yua doesn't give a shit.

"The Academy's probably going to be doing away with early graduation entirely pretty soon since we aren't in wartime and no one wants to chance repeating your precious brother--" Sasuke flinches almost imperticibly and Yua tramples on "--but with that caveat, I graduated at the age of nine, got promoted to Chunnin at ten, and was a jounin by the time I was fourteen. I made the bingo books when I was twelve, and right now I'm listed anywhere from B to S rank. Depends on the country, but Suna's shit and practically lives to piss me off, so the day they give me the satisfaction of treating me like a real threat is the day they get snow in their forecast. They're just bitter that I'm better at wind jutsu than them anyways. Iwa and Kiri are better, though, they take me seriously and have a pretty accurate take on my abilities between the two of them.

"My honest self-assessment is that I'm A to S rank, depending on what type of work you're looking for. I'm not an all-rounder by any means. My taijutsu is decent, bukijutsu is acceptable, and my genjutsu are good but my repertoire is pretty small. I'm ninjutsu type, through and through, and that much I'm damn good at. There's maybe two ninja in the village that can give me a run for my money in ninjutsu, and one of them's the Hokage."

Sasuke has virtually abandoned his stew to stare at her beadily, interested despite himself.

"Now I did all that without any bloodline bullshit, without clan techniques, and almost exclusively being self-taught. And since you're clearly wondering why the fuck I'm telling you my résumé, I'll say: if you wanna learn, I'll teach you."

Sasuke's eyes flare wide and, never one to miss an opportunity to pause dramatically, Yua takes another couple bites.

"Why would you teach me?" Sasuke demands as soon as it's clear that she's not immediately going to explain herself. "I barely even know you."

Yua chokes on a laugh while mid-chew and then starts coughing. She ends up having to gulp water to clear her esophagus.

"Yeah, that's true enough," she admits once she has herself under control. "I've got no credentials as a teacher, either; I've always sort of brushed off taking on a genin team even though I'm sure I'd like it. Partly it's because once you teach someone something, even though you're technically responsible, you've got no control over how they use what you've taught them. Students go errant all the time. And partly it's that I'm an emotionally stunted softie who would imprint all over a bunch of baby genin and mother them within an inch of their lives.

"But I'm still hoping that you'll take me on, kid. Itachi wants to fuck up our lives? Fuck that, I say. He wants you to get strong, to live like shit, all full of unhappiness and hate just to have the chance of taking him in a fight?" Sasuke's hand is white-knuckled over his spoon. "Fuck that," Yua says passionately. "Fuck that asshole and fuck what he wants. I'll make you strong enough that there won't be a damn person in the world, not Itachi or anybody, who can tell you how to live your life. Because if I can give you my skill set, your eye magic baloney combined with the fact that you've got talent in spades and a damn good work ethic will mean that you'll be virtually untouchable."

It's true, too. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control would be able to steal and then duplicate any jutsu like Kakashi on steroids because of the lack of chakra drain from being able to properly turn off the doujutsu and the efficiency in performing those jutsu. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control who can use substitution jutsu so well that it's basically teleportation? Unmatched versatility in attacking, superior speed, evasion, illusions-- the word invulnerable comes to Yua's mind.

---

Yua decides that it's time to step in when Naruto is unconscious at Sasuke's feet and the transformation granted by the curse mark starts to recede from his body. She substitutes from her place in the trees to a spot atop the water in his line of sight, just far enough away that he isn't going to feel provoked. Nonetheless, he jolts when he sees her, and she feels the chakra rising in him as though to attack.

"Calm down," she says quietly, words nearly lost in the crashing rush of the waterfall behind her.

Sasuke's hands return to his side, but they're clenched into fists and he regards her warily.

"Yua." His voice is raspy, a little dull. And no wonder, if he's just finished attempting to beat the life out of his best friend only for his tutor to show up. "I'll fight you, too, if I have to."

There's no relish in the words.

"No," she says, still quiet, feeling like the moment deserves her solemnity. "I'd say you've demonstrated your resolve to leave. I won't be the one to drag you back."

---

Sasuke stares at Yua, feeling something almost like panic climbing up his throat.

"The--your mission--"

"Fuck the mission, Sasuke," she says gently, and her expression is sad but not accusing.

He doesn't understand. He'd steeled himself as soon as he'd seen her, knowing that for her to show up at such an opportune moment meant that she'd likely been watching the fight between him and Naruto and that she now has a perfect grasp of her surroundings and Sasuke's condition. And Sasuke knows that even if he were in top shape and had the full use of the curse mark, even if his chakra wasn't as weak as the flame of a candle, he would stand little chance against Yua. She'd shown him the gap in their skills often enough, after all, and she's the one that he's closest to ever since everyone died, the one who made sure he ate well and did his homework and got enough rest, who taught him chakra control and how to shunshin, who calls him things like Little Duck and ruffles his hair no matter how much he protests. Naruto may be his friend, but Yua is the closest thing to family that he has left, is the person with the strongest claim to him, the one most likely to make him return, either through force or personal ties.

Even so, he'd been willing to fight.

So for her to stand before him now and announce that she's abandoning the mission that so many of his peers have hurt themselves over, that she'll ignore the orders of her Kage with ease, and all of it without the faintest trace of judgment on her face after he's tried to kill his best friend--he's just like Itachi who stole Shisui from her--

Yua must understand whatever his features are telling her without words, because she says, "I told you at the beginning that the danger of teaching is that the teacher has no control over how the student uses what they're taught."

Students go errant all the time, his memory echoes, as if summoned by her reminder. He feels it like a punch to the gut. He'd known, before, that he was essentially betraying her by leaving Konoha for Orochimaru, but now he knows it the same way that he knows one of his ribs is fractured.

"But I also told you," she says, "that I wanted you to be strong enough that no one could tell you how to live your life. And that's what I want, for you to have the power to make your own destiny. And you think that Orochimaru has something that no one else does. That his offer of power is unique, superior. So, as the one who promised that to you initially, I apologize for failing you."

And she inclines her head--Yua bows her head--

"Stop," he says in a gasp, and there's moisture building in his eyes. If it sounds like he's begging, it's because he is, because if Yua keeps talking, keeps forgiving him, then his resolve will fail him and everything will have been pointless.

"No," she says, with sudden firmness, and she stares him straight in the eye. "You're choosing your own fate, Sasuke, and I won't resent you for it. This is the path you're walking now, and you can't turn back, you can't be swayed. That's what it means to tangle with destiny--there's no room for regret. And if you're going to Orochimaru, there can't be a single doubt in your heart."

"But why?!" The question rips out of him in his desperation to understand. "After all of this, after everything, why would you let me go?! How can I--how--you--"

"Because I love you," she says without hesitation, even though he sees the glossy film covering her eyes and starting to stick to her lashes. The ferocity of her words takes him aback as much as the content. Literally, too; Sasuke takes a half-step back. "Love is the tie that binds us to one another, but it's not a chain. And anyways, I promised you freedom."

Yua starts to walk towards him, and he stands frozen beside Naruto's unconscious form until she's right in front of him. He thinks, somewhat hysterically, that he really doesn't stand a chance against Yua in a fight if all she has to use is a few words before he's as paralyzed as a fearful rabbit. Naruto--and he forces down an absurd giggle--could stand to learn from her.

She pulls him into her chest tightly and he's helpless against her. No matter that she's only barely taller than him now, no matter the muscle and experience he's gained; she overpowers him.

The hand she has pressed to the back of his head trembles. And then, before he's had time to relax into the embrace, she releases him.

"Take care," she says, and a pair of tears streak down past the purple marks on her cheeks. Sasuke studiously ignores the damp spot he's left on her shoulder.

"I--I will," he says.

They stare at each other for a long moment, each aware that they won't be seeing one another any time soon, and that the next time they meet they may very well be on opposing sides. Sasuke feels something burning deep in his chest, something that's been aflame ever since he'd started fighting Naruto in earnest. It hurts him, warms him; he feels like he's going to choke.

"Now get outta here, kid."

Still helpless against her, he listens.

---

Yua's washing her parents' and sister's headstone like she has every fourth Friday for the past several years when Kakashi finds her. She hands him a soft brush; she's learned to bring more than one.

Kakashi, faintly smudged with dirt and smelling of tree sap and algae and sweat, takes it from her wordlessly, crouching and dousing the brush in her bucket of water. His strokes across the stone are precise and thorough, practiced, and they work in quiet symphony for several minutes.

Finally, he leans back on his heels and says, "I thought you were going to talk some sense into him."

If it's not anything to do with work, Kakashi tends to say only exactly as much as he has to, speaking in bare thesis statements without the supplementary paragraphs that show how he's reached his conclusions, and as such, Yua has become extremely good at reading between Kakashi's lines.

Sasuke is gone, and Kakashi doesn't know why she didn't do more to stop him.

She exhales slowly and with purposeful evenness, offering respectful attention to the characters of her mother's name as she washes them. "I think Sasuke is operating from a different definition of sensible."

Kakashi's snort lacks humor.

"He's no fool, Kakashi," she says lowly. "Rash and impulsive, sure, but not stupid. I'm sure he knows exactly what he's walking into. Orochimaru's made no secret of wanting Sasuke's body for his own."

"I fail to see how giving Orochimaru the precise thing he wants fits any definition of sensible," Kakashi says dryly.

"There's a three-year timeline before Orochimaru can take another body," Yua contradicts. "And I think that for Sasuke it'll be plenty of time."

"For?"

"Becoming strong enough to kill Orochimaru and eliminating the threat against him altogether." Kakashi's head turns to her slightly, but Yua only notes the motion in her peripheral vision. "For better or worse, Konoha's changed since either of us were genin. At his age, I was a chuunin in the bingo books of all the major countries and you were a jounin. Don't get me wrong, in terms of comprehensive skill level, Sasuke is above where I was, but I would've won in a fight because of experience. Experience is a hard teacher, but if you manage to survive it, there's nothing better. And with that stupid curse mark and the certain knowledge that he's targeted by Orochimaru, how much field work could Sasuke really have been guaranteed?"

Kakashi's gaze on her is wary, but he doesn't interrupt.

"If he'd stayed, Sasuke would've been trained to the bone, but he would've been coddled from the world outside the village," Yua says. "And Orochimaru's already breached Konoha's defenses, has killed the Kazekage and the Sandaime Hokage. There's no guarantee that he wouldn't do something equally drastic again for the chance of getting at Sasuke, with no attention to collateral damage. And besides, if we were truly capable of keeping him safe, he wouldn't have that curse mark in the first place. So I'd say Sasuke is taking a lot of factors into account."

Kakashi sighs, running a hand through his messy stack of hair. Yua glances over, intrigued as always at the sight. If his hair is stiff and voluminous enough to defy gravity as it does, how does his hand not get caught?

"Then I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that my student is relatively safer in the hands of the S-class nuke-nin that wants to throttle his soul and possess his body," he bites out. "Especially since I like to think that between the two of us, even Orochimaru wouldn't be too much to handle."

"I'm retired from field work," Yua reminds him, though in truth she's warm at the open expression of respect at her abilities considering how long it's been since they've worked together.

Kakashi gives her a flat look. "I seem to remember you holding your own during the Crush just fine."

"I suppose," she says blandly. "But the fact of the matter is that Sasuke doesn't think that he has anything left to learn from me. And maybe he's right; there's only so many chakra control exercises I can give him. I'm in no position to offer field work."

"There was an easy way to change that and you know it."

Yua drops her brush and pours the remaining water over the stones. Some of it splashes at her bared toes. Kakashi offers his brush back and it clatters into the bottom of the bucket.

She joins Kakashi in resting in a squat, butt nearly touching the ground and her arms crossed over her knees, chin resting upon them.

"My goal in teaching Sasuke was to make him strong enough to choose his own destiny. And what he does with what I've taught him has always been his decision."

"Yua--"

"Was I supposed to drag him back?" Yua interrupts, surly. "He's demonstrated his resolve to leave, I'd say. I couldn't love that boy more if he were my own flesh and blood, but I'm not going to chain him down based on some hypocritical idea of what I think is best for him. I can only trust that I've taught him well enough that he'll make it. The other option is despair and agony and I've had enough of that for my lifetime, thanks very much."

She presses her eyes into her forearms. "I've made, Kakashi. I kept him as safe as I could all this time, I trained him and made sure he ate properly, I taught him how to keep house for himself, asked about his grades in school and what he learned in class. But never once did I tell him about my true motive in retiring to hospital work. I wasn't as honest as I should have been, and part of me--I want Sasuke in my life forever, but part of me is glad he's gone so I don't have to worry as much about the fallout of my actions. And part of me is scared of what he'll do when he finds out what I've kept from him."

There is, for a long moment, silence.

"You've always acted according to Sasuke's best interests." Kakashi's voice leaves no room for rebuttal. "If you weren't honest with him, it's because it wasn't safe. You know that as well as I do--better, even, so don't go beating yourself up about it. No one expected you to take care of Sasuke and no one would have asked it of you, but you stepped in where no one else did. You've done a good job with him, Yua, and if you're saying that you think he's strong enough to make it on his own, I'm sure he'll come out on top. Though I don't like it.

"And as for what'll happen when he finds out the truth…" Yua dares to peek up from her arms as Kakashi pauses, and he treats her to an eye smile. "Maa, don't underestimate how much that brat loves you, too."

"Tch." But despite the lingering sense of anxiety, Yua does feel comforted. And then she snickers. "Look at us, having a conversation about feelings like emotionally competent adults. Is there snow soon?"

"You can speak for yourself," Kakashi says primly. "I am certainly not and never plan to be something so dull and mature-sounding as emotionally competent. It's likely dreadful and far too much work. Besides, I have an image to maintain."

"Yes, heaven forbid that I mar your reputation as the Angst Lord of Konoha."

"Precisely."

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, and I like the gloom. My dislikes are sunshine and good cheer. Hobbies include brooding over my tragic past and staring moodily off into the distance. I have no dreams for the future because hope is a delusion for those too afraid to engage with the despair that is reality."

"You know me so well."

Yua laughs.

---

Tsunade hasn't been back in Konoha for very long, but she's been around long enough to hear about how Konoha's once-notorious Nohara Yua, whose fame had reached even derelict pubs and casinos, had turned into the sweet-mannered, harmless-looking woman barely past girlhood that had first greeted Tsunade upon her arrival in the village hospital. Well, Tsunade has nothing against sweet manners or looking harmless, acknowledges their advantages, even, but Nohara Yua had embodied those qualities to the extent that Tsunade had started to think that the girl who had been renowned as the Windwalker and internationally feared as a ninjutsu master had been the result of overblown rumor, carefully planted misdirection, and willful blindness.

Initially, Tsunade had found her to be a competent enough doctor, and generally inoffensive. Upon learning who exactly had briefed her on her new patients' statuses and given her the rundown on current hospital procedures, the cognitive dissonance had been so great that she'd had to be assured that yes, it was that Nohara Yua. No, really.

And the nurse assuring Tsunade had, with the reluctance born of politeness and the thoroughness born of a love for gossip, told an astonished Shizune and skeptical Tsunade in an undertone why the Windwalker was working as a member of hospital staff. And then Tsunade had been well aware that she was in no place to make comments about lifestyle choices after losing a lover.

Still, that the woman apparently took on D-rank home repair missions as a hobby did not inspire Tsunade to believe that Nohara was ever anything other than a reasonably talented kunoichi whose offensive abilities had been rather exaggerated, both out of strategic convenience and a desire by other kunoichi for a female figure to look up to as the next--well, her. And even if Nohara had been as lethal as her reputation had painted her, Tsunade had been sure that that person was as dead as Uchiha Shisui, replaced by someone content to live out the rest of her life in a much quieter fashion.

But Tsunade only had been sure because right now the woman in question is standing in front of her desk next to Hatake Kakashi, explaining oh-so-succinctly about the steaming pile of shit that Hiruzen-sensei had left her to inherit, the ooze and stench of which is still far from stale for all that the rug has been thrown over it for almost half a decade. The same festering dung heap that Nohara has apparently been investigating secretly and under her own initiative, with no one but Hatake in the know, for the last four years.

"So let me get this straight," Tsunade says, in the full knowledge that she'll be getting absolutely plastered later this evening no matter what Shizune has to say about it. "The Uchiha were planning a coup against Konoha leadership."

"Yes."

"And the Sandaime was aware of this."

"Yes."

"And not only did Itachi not go insane and kill his entire clan, but he was acting under orders. From Danzo. Whom Itachi believed to have the Hokage's approval."

"Yes."

"And Itachi is now acting as an undercover agent without a handler in the international terrorist organization known as Akatsuki."

"That's correct."

"While Danzo is currently operating a secret military organization within Konoha itself, which answers only to him, and which the Sandaime falsely believed to have been dissolved as he ordered several years ago."

"Yes."

"And this organization has infiltrated Konoha's active forces on every level with no one the wiser, and has been taking and executing missions without official sanction."

Nohara's gaze slides to the alcove of Tsunade's office, where the ANBU agent on duty is hidden under seal--oh fucking shit--

"ANBU Cat is someone I trust with my life," Hatake inserts smoothly.

"What a fucking relief," Tsunade snarls. "Cat, get over here."

Cat is crouched in front of her in a flash.

"Get that decorative plate off your face, Cat," she snaps. Cat follows her instruction with admirable speed and Tsunade looks into the unassuming features of a man approximately Yua's age who is clearly struggling to master some kind of emotion that makes him look extremely nauseous. "Your name, Cat. Not ANBU designation."

"Tenzou, Hokage-sama."

"Right. Tenzou. How long have you served in ANBU?"

"Seven years, Hokage-sama."

"Long enough to have known Uchiha Itachi."

"We were briefly on the same ANBU team, Hokage-sama, along with Kakashi-senpai and Yua-senpai."

"And do the events that Nohara has just finished describing sound plausible to you?"

Tenzou's eyes lower momentarily before conscientiously returning to meet her gaze. "They sound as plausible as Itachi having a violent mental break, Hokage-sama."

"And do you know of this organization called ROOT?"

In response, Tenzou opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out as far as it will go. For one horrible second Tsunade flounders, wondering if this is some faddish gesture she's too old to understand, and then she sees the seal.

"That bastard," Tsunade whispers.

Nohara snorts. "Yeah, he likes to seal up the tongues of anyone who does work for him so they can't blab. Most of my investigation into ROOT has been looking at what should be there, not what is. You find it by spotting the empty space.

"I know that he has shinobi that he's trained specifically for years, and then there are others who have engaged in missions with him thinking that they're partaking in some extra black black ops, not aware that they're doing anything that isn't perfectly legitimate, if secret beyond all reason. Kakashi got sucked in years ago, before he realized that Danzo was operating off books, and Danzo dropped him like a hot cake and left him to fester under that godforsaken seal. Recon work has been a bitch."

"If your goal was to squirrel out ROOT, why didn't you return to ANBU?" Tsunade questions narrowly. "Surely it would have been easier to gather intelligence while on Danzo's recruiting grounds."

Nohara stills, looking discomfited for the first time. "There were several reasons," she says finally. "Part of it is that I wanted to be there for Sasuke, and having a set schedule at the hospital and no missions taking me out of the village made that considerably easier. Part of it's that I want Danzo to think I'm none the wiser to his schemes, and I'd say I've done a good job of being soft and overly emotional, exactly like he hates in shinobi. And then, well, I honestly wasn't in any shape to take on ANBU work." Nohara clenches her hands at her sides, and her stare is borderline defiant. "My partner had just died under suspicious circumstances, my friend and captain had killed his clan and turned missing-nin. Not to mention, I'd just finished recovering from a mission that I'm pretty sure was supposed to off me. Bluntly, I was a fucking mess."

Hatake slides Nohara a look and Tenzou does the same, though Tenzou's look has the distinct tinge of pity whereas Hatake's is merely assessing.

"Mostly though," Nohara continues, "I no longer had faith in the Hokage. Shisui went to the Sandaime about the coup, and the next thing I knew, Shisui was dead and the Uchiha clan was gone. Things had gone extremely and terribly wrong and I knew that either the Sandaime was in on it, or he'd been too ineffective to prevent it. I could never betray the village that Shisui loved so much, that my family died to protect, but neither could I serve under Sarutobi Hiruzen."

Tsunade understands her phrasing perfectly. The village that her entire family--barring one estranged sister--had died for. The village that Shisui had loved. Not Yua.

"I can understand using Sasuke's departure from the village as the the impetus for bringing this to my attention," Tsunade says slowly. "But I have to ask the question: what do you plan to do if I don't pursue your investigation? What if I decide to leave things buried, or even to silence everyone in this room?"

Hatake freezes entirely, expressionless, and Tenzou's eyes widen.

Nohara merely blinks.

"I came to you with this information because I think that you have a sense of justice," she says. "The Sandaime was too focused on mercy, not realizing that mercy without justice is nothing but weakness. Honestly, I think the man was a coward. But you know the pain that I know, Tsunade-sama, and you left Konoha because you couldn't abide the senselessness of the loss, and I think that you're back because you want to see that loss made meaningful. And if that's the case, if what I hope and think about you is correct, then I'm ready to serve you in whatever capacity you think best without reservation.

"But if not." Nohara's voice doesn't harden or raise, her face doesn't shift. Even so, the room feels a degree colder. "Even heaven won't stop me, Tsunade-sama. I'm not interested in revenge, but if you deny justice to me, to Sasuke and Itachi and all the dead, then there will be no stopping me. I won't let anyone demean the ideal that every shinobi on the Memorial Stone died to honor and uphold. I won't let the Konoha that so many have fought and hurt for turn into an empty shell, devoid of meaning. I've done my best these last few years to work so that this wrong can be resolved as peacefully as possible. And even if I let it be a convenient face, I've genuinely tried to live gently and kindly. But in the end, I'm a shinobi. If it means that I can look the boy I raised in the eye, if it means I can take my friend's hands and let him put down his sword, and if it means that when I die I can say to my parents and my sister and my partner that nothing they suffered was in vain, then I will use every scrap of knowledge and strength I possess for violence, and I won't hesitate to cut down you or anyone who stands in my way."

Silence reigns, and Tsunade doubts that her left eyebrow has ever strained so high. Yes, the woman before her is certainly no accommodating doctor. This is a woman who is every bit the efficient killer of her mythology and then some, crafty and slippery and with a diamond will.

She scoffs. "I'll consider myself warned, then."

#this is Old old #parts of this make me wince to re-read but i overall do still love it #and yua is rin's younger sister #there's also older sister mai and she and yua don't talk #i'm assigning yua's parents as 'dead during kyuubi' as they tried to help ppl #a medical family! yua sort of bucked the trend out of necessity and mai is anbu medic #yua and kakashi's relationship is friendly but extremely fraught #yua used to follow rin around everywhere--that era's team seven definitely knew her #would make obito reveal super fun!#the universe outside us #internet user demands answers #(yikes this is actually fic length...)

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