The day was a bit warmer so I let my plants out from under their covers to enjoy some sun. I had a lovely laundry day spot treating, laundry stripping, folding, and putting away. It was my goal last year to learn to darn socks. Guess what I did today!? A little late, but it felt so nice to sit and mend and learn something new.
Dog cuddles in bed, catching up on all my washing, clean bedding, presents from my sister as she knows I’ve been struggling, a nice hot bath with a (sugar free) hot chocolate.
Not pictured - me spending several hours hunched at my desk trying to make headway on my New Year planning.
As someone who grew up with "I'm not going to praise you for doing what's expected of you; that's not being good, that's doing the bare minimum" I want to encourage you to celebrate every little thing you can. Everything that takes energy and effort should be appreciated and you're allowed to be happy about trying.
Commonplace Entry 15: Anna Letitia Barbauld's Washing Day
"Ye who beneath the yoke of wedlock bend with bowed soul...no comfort, nor pleasant smile, no quaint device, but silent breakfast anxious looks... Saints have been calm upon the rack" (51).
Barbauld's "Washing Day" is as much of an expose of the torturous nature of women's household chores in the 17th century as much as the institution of marriage that requires it of them. She compares marriage to the yoke that oxen (domesticated labor animals) carry. The tragedy is made yet more apparent in contrast to the men who are in "silken balloons" sporting around. Meanwhile the women carry the load for two and more. The "evil day" that is laundry day is akin to a torture sentence. To Barbauld, even saints or martyrs "upon the rack" are more comfortable than the women on washing day.
Barbauld, Anna L. Washing Day, The Norton Anthology of English Literature, 10th Edition, Volume D, The Romantic Period, New York, London, W.W. Norton Company, 2018, pp.51.
love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
Four photos for today.
I'm really proud of myself for getting up fairly early - when compared to how the rest of my week has been, at least - Anyway. I made my bed, had my everything shower, walked my dog, caught up on all my washing, did some comfort reading/watching/cooking, and eventually had a long hot bath watching more comfort content.