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bloodboundsiege · 1 year

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out of curiosity, what made you decide to make this into a full fledged visual novel instead of just writing a fic? esp since afaik there hasn't been a demand/outcry for more bloodbound

(this ended up being rlly long, so I'm putting it under a cut. if you don't want to read all of that, the tl;dr is I've been working on an spec adaptation of Bloodbound since 2021, I've been making edits with Choices assets for a little over a year now, and I started messing around with ren'py during my stint in the now no longer active @nightboundthesecond project, and this spinoff is the culmination of all of those things bc I wanted to do something w them).

Anyways, here's the long version:

So...I kind of already did. Sort of.

In summer of 2021, I was going through a pretty bad depressive episode and ended up rereading Bloodbound (which got me back into the fandom as a whole, more on that in a sec). When the dust cleared, I began really heavily reconsidering what exactly I was doing with my life.

I'd been toying with the possibility of doing a film MFA of some kind, but I was worried I didn't have the skillset to get into any grad programs. So, I began teaching myself how to write screenplays by adapting Bloodbound into a spec TV series. From August 2021 to April 2022, I wrote twenty-eight episodes, with three rounds of revisions, which really strengthened my abilities as a writer. I'm currently at a T10 film school getting an MFA. I wouldn't be where I am without doing that. Part of my love for Bloodbound stems from the fact that it quite literally changed my life.

The very nature of turning a book into a screenplay/teleplay is that you have to restructure a lot of plot points so they fit in better with the new medium. With a TV adaptation, you also usually have to build onto the source material. For Bloodbound, that meant fleshing things out and creating new characters to move the plot forward. It also meant exploring things that either happened offscreen or were only brief scenes.

And so when it came time to write episodes for the book 2 adaptation, the huge aspect of that was going into New York City and seeing what Gaius was doing during his hostile takeover. And since I had very little to work with from the source material, I had to come up with a lot of stuff off the cuff. And as I put those storylines together, I was like there's actually some pretty interesting stuff here. This visual novel is based off of that stuff.

@clansayeed and his fantastic reimaginings of Bloodbound and Nightbound had been on my radar for a while at this point, but I wasn't aware of the fake caps he made until I actually checked out his tumblr account. I thought they were really fucking cool. As a little private celebration for finishing the third round of edits for season 1 (and to let myself take a break), I decided to teach myself how to make fakecaps and recreate a few scenes from my adaptation in the Choices format:

I found out that I really enjoyed reworking assets into new outfits and character designs--lowkey, putting on a podcast or a video essay, opening up pixlr, and just making stuff became one of my go-to ways to unwind in the midst of mfa apps and life in general--, so I started making more fandom service stuff for fun and posting them on Reddit. I made a variety of stuff: role reversal AU edits, general dress up stuff, and of course... "on the set of [choices book]: the tv show" fake caps.

I feel like you're not really supposed to say this, but it was kind of validating to me that a lot of those posts did like. Decent numbers. And that kind of motivated me to get better at doing it, especially in the beginning.

And then...It Lives Within dropped. And I think that shifted a lot of how people--myself included--considered what they could do within a fandom space like Choices. Like, if we could make our own shit, why not? I was really intrigued by the idea, and so when there were calls for writers and sprite artists for a Nightbound project, I jumped at the opportunity.

(As a side note, I think the fact that now there are people within the fandom making their own sequels/spinoffs/whatever is gonna be rlly interesting for the general ecosystem of the Choices fandom and its future, but that's a convo for another time lol)

While the team I was on is no longer working on a sequel, being part of that group did a lot for me, and I look back on being part of that really fondly. I think we all were kind of picking up whatever we needed to do, regardless of if it was what we signed on for. For me, that meant teaching myself how to use Ren'py. The thing was, this was still in the really early stages of development, which meant I didn't have a lot of story to play with. So...

I was kind of like. Fuck it. Let me try my own thing out.

The original idea was actually a prequel set in the 1910s, as I'd done an MC set and an LI set based on that very premise, but the problem was that there are so few assets from that time period, and asset creation has never been my strong suit. But then, I thought back to the adaptation I'd been working on.

Some of the strongest writing I think I've ever done was in the episodes where the primary storylines were following Gaius's takeover of New York. I think a lot of the themes of the second book came out in those moments. And as cool as it would be, as much as I've fantasized about it, I don't think Bloodbound: The TV Show is ever happening. So it made sense for me to rework that into a visual novel spinoff.

In terms of the actual framing of this story, I spent a lot of time in the Bloodbound tags in the early days of working on my adaptation. I was deep in those tags. And it's really interesting to see what people expected it to be before its release. Part of it was the assumption of a Clan sorting system. Obviously, that wasn't actually the case.

Additionally, I think a lot of people were frustrated by the fact that Bloodbound's MC isn't really given the option to just. Be bad. Which then makes moments like this super jarring:

So, I decided to put everything I'd learned together. I was working on the GUI/character creation features for Nightbound (side note, the GUI in this game isn't an absolutely perfect replication of the Choices GUI yet and won't be for the demo, but we're getting there), I had a ton of edits I'd made that I wasn't using for anything, and I had a story that I knew could be reworked into an arc about a new vampire in New York City during Gaius's coup.

But with this project in general, it's less about a demand for a sequel/midquel/spinoff within the fandom and more like. I noticed that there were some things people wanted out of Bloodbound and didn't get, and trying to give it to them, because I wanted those things too, and I felt like I had the means to create that. When I've talked to IRL friends about this project (non of whom play Choices), I've just been like "yeah it's a visual novel fanfic" because...it's a visual novel fanfic.

So. That's why.

(This was super long (and felt a little self centered, sorry!), but if you read all of that, I hope it all made sense. All of this is to say that this has been a labor of love for a book series I've been living with for a year and a half, and I want to get part of what I've done with it out of my head. I hope you all like it.)

#bloodbound #bloodbound the siege #anon #ask #sorry this was so fucking long but i rarely get to talk about this stuff lol

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selfcarecap · 1 year

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I posted 3,155 times in 2022

That's 259 more posts than 2021!

773 posts created (25%)

2,382 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@t-lostinworlds

@cocoamoonmalfoy

@selfcarecap

@duskholland

I tagged 2,526 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#q - 257 posts

#anon - 170 posts

#the friends anon - 103 posts

#fic rex - 91 posts

#sparkles - 90 posts

#🦖 - 89 posts

#kendra <3 - 40 posts

#omg - 34 posts

#ask game - 32 posts

#exactly - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 141 characters

#just thought about the end again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

LMFAO i love you anon 😭 i adore this request shsksj the way you phrased it as well omggg (i changed it to waxed)

warnings: there is smut, i mean it is about pubic hair lol but it’s not filth type of smut, it’s just peter being dramatic (and Peter being honest about his preference so idk don’t read that upsets you or whatever chsksh) (800 words)

1,083 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

I got the power [p.p]

pairing: room/flatmate!Peter Parker x reader

summary: You and Peter get closer when the power in your building goes out for a day.

warnings: smut (f masturbation, oral f receiving, + penetration, I didn't mean to make it that way but reading it back it could be implied that it's Peter's first time but it depends on you lol), a bad joke about sex/masturbation?, Peter's physics book lmao idk where that came from

word count: 3k

a/n: this was just supposed to help me get out of a writing slump but I think it turned out cute so why not share it?

See the full post

1,395 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

Hotel [p.p]

pairing: Peter Parker x Avenger!reader

summary: You and Peter spend the night at a hotel after a mission. When you can’t sleep, you decide to tire yourself out, not knowing that Peter’s wide awake too, listening, and he wants nothing more than to join in.

warnings: smut (masturbation (f + m), oral (f + m), reader masturbates w peter in the room without his consent but he likes it so (but don’t be like her irl), don’t think there is anything else??

word count: 3.4k (omg i just spontaneously added 1k in the last hour lmfao)

had to write this before i could write anything else, my brain just wouldn’t let me lol

See the full post

1,656 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

If I Could Die In Your Arms [p.p & p.p]

pairing: mcu!Peter Parker x reader x tasm!Peter Parker

(Tom Holland!Peter x reader x Andrew Garfield!Peter)

summary: When another Peter Parker shows up in your world, you give him a chance to have one last moment with the love of his life, someone who looked exactly like you, but also someone who died in his arms.

(thank you @t-lostinworlds for this beautiful summary <3 pls i was struggling)

warnings: smut, (oral (m and f receiving), not a threesome, Pete just watches, unprotected sex but nothing happens bc this is fictional, Peter is in his feeeels, slight nwh spoilers (this is a different timeline tho, the things that happen in nwh don’t happen here (plot-wise?)), angst i guess? but not really, mentions of death (the reader died in Andrew!Peter’s universe), omfg writing the warning and summary for this is the hardest part idk why gfshjdfkl, this ended up being so much more emotional than sexual (how i originally planned) but if you just want a sexual fic, i’m on it already kjsahd plus my requests are open <3

word count: 8.2k… i–

❗️I actually feel like it’s very clear which Peter I’m talking about most of the time but still, to avoid confusion: Tom=Pete, Andrew=Peter (after the first few paragraphs at least, after she calls him my Pete lol (I even put it in italics AND BOLD)) (so Tom is the reader’s bf, Andrew is the one who comes to their universe)

thank you so so much @ t (and m and lauren) for helping me with this ilysm <333

･ﾟ✧*

See the full post

1,808 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Never Have I Ever [p.p]

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: When Peter meets you at college and you two bond over your lack of sexual experience, you quickly become the best friend he’s ever had. But while he falls madly in love with you, he doesn’t know if you feel the same. You hold his hand when you’re out together, talk to him about the vibrator you want to buy and bless him with that beautiful look in your eyes that is reserved only for him… yet he’s not sure if you see more than a friend in him. Little does he know, you’re wondering the same about him, hoping for the same outcome.

Warnings: smut (all first time, oral f + m receiving, dry humping (semi-public? but it’s completely uninterrupted and unseen and in a remote location lol), masturbation (f with a sex toy and m with the reader’s underwear), vaginal sex – the second half of this is basically all smut), a sprinkle of jealous Peter, Professor Garfield lol, a little bit of angst ig bc Peter keeps doubting himself and thinks he’s a pervert but he’s just dumb as shit and oblivious, (all Peter’s pov <3), fic starts off with an awkward and embarrassing story lol, alcohol/drunk!Peter, (btw if first year of college sounds a little young to you you can always imagine they just took a break between hs and college), idk how college works in the usa, also I mention Peter's enhanced senses but it's not a Spiderman fic at all lol

Word Count: 23k omg, the longest thing I’ve ever written (if that’s too long for you i’ve put four ‘dividers’ in total so it’s split into 4 more or less equally long parts (the first is like 4k, second is 7k, then 4k again and the last is 8k) but of course you can ignore that and just read all of it in one go, all 23k are in this post, it’s a one shot)

It's finally here! Thank you for all the love I received for the teaser and just talking about this fic already 💘 This has been on my mind for so so long and I’ve been (sporadically and inconsistently) writing it since like September. I’m so glad it’s finally finished, this was one of my favourite wips I‘ve ever worked on, I really loved writing Peter and the reader and their dynamic and experiences and I hope you love reading it just as much 💖

See the full post

4,525 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #kept forgetting to post this and now it #it's the next year omg

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moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom · 1 year

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I posted 11,636 times in 2022

671 posts created (6%)

10,965 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@one-happy-silent-geek-girl

@void-of-erebos

@its-tea-time-darling

@alexsrandomramblings

@d3epfriedangels

I tagged 8,244 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#everydoors - 737 posts

#rex - 566 posts

#yes - 562 posts

#ahsoka - 512 posts

#anakin - 492 posts

#asks - 492 posts

#obi-wan - 489 posts

#cody - 326 posts

#fives - 314 posts

#echo - 314 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

My Top Posts in 2022:

time for Thoughts™️

I will always rant about every member of the disaster lineage but I just got very very especially sad about Dooku and Qui-Gon.

how did I not realise how late he left the Order??? I always thought it was idk, some time earlier than the Phantom Menace but this is just. they really went for the peak angst potential didn’t they

we now know what happened to Yaddle, but at what cost…

As always, fuck Sheev. look what he did. he took a bunch of perfectly good light-siders and fucked them up is what he did.

SNIPS AND SKYGUY ARE BACK Y’ALL IM SOBBING I MISSED THEM SO MUCH

I feel like Anakin really does Not know how to Handle Child at the time of that first training montage. he does his best to be a good teacher and train her the best he can but I definitely got scary chills watching him say “again” so many times in a progressively darker tone

I’m fine I’m just crying over how all that training, no matter Anakin’s downfalls, saved Ahsoka’s life in the end

Rex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my first reaction to Rex mentioning Jesse was basically just “oh hey it’s my dude!!!” and then I realised that Anakin and Jesse both trained Ahsoka in ways that she then used to survive their attempts of trying to kill her and now I’m not okay

that handful of Obi-Wan scenes was a nice bonus

Caleb getting all excited about Ahsoka doing the droid training exercise he’s so precious-

The funeral.

no because the fact that Ahsoka would have been chased down and possibly killed by the Empire if they found out she was still alive but she went to Padmé’s funeral anyway to pay her respects because Padmé was so important to her-

“She was my friend” feelings. so many feelings. i cried here.

Rex sticking with Ahsoka until after the funeral makes me have a lot of emotions and a lot of thoughts; iirc we don’t actually know how long they were together after the Tribunal crash before they split ways

SO LUCASFILM IF YOU COULD JUST NOT TEAR MY HEART OUT FOR ONE KRIFFING SECOND THAT WOULD BE GREAT

*insert that one textpost that was like [me every second Bail Organa was on screen] ‘that’s Bail Organa’*

anyone else feel a little iffy about the whole “we have a duty thing” he was saying to Ahsoka? maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention, but it felt a little to me like he meant she had to/was obligated to join the Rebellion. it doesn’t seem very in sync with Bail in general, but if someone has a different interpretation that makes more sense, please share with me.

the only other thing is I’m just confused and a little irritated about the section with the farmers and the Inquisitor. like, when in the timeline exactly did that whole encounter take place? and if they wanted to show a storyline like that, why didn’t they just animate some key moments from the Ahsoka novel? I feel like it sort of gives it more weight in a way to have Ahsoka’s big return to the good fight and the Rebellion set two years after the end of the war, and given how similar the setups are, I have to say I would have much rather had at least some scenes from the book in animation than a whole new separate thing that kind of replaces it.

me when the girl’s brother went to tattle to the Empire: every town’s got a Timm 😔

ngl I really thought she might be Kaeden at first but it wasn’t too bad I suppose.

especially since I will never, and I mean never, get sick of watching Ahsoka kick Inquisitor ass

all I want to do is wrap all my faves up in a blanket and hug them very tight yk

in conclusion: I am just screaming. so hard right now.

128 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

Fennec: We’re gonna feed you to our rancor mwahahahahaha >)

assassin dude: plsss nooooo D:

Fennec: PFFT we don’t have a rancor lmao it died

That one rat: hi :3

247 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Cad Bane: You’re getting soft in your old age

Boba:

Boba: You are literally. Twenty plus years older than me.

1,094 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Fans will be like ‘this is my comfort show’ and it’s the most depressing show ever

1,293 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Peli: there’s someone here to see you

Din: oh it’s my son

Din: WAIT IT’S MY SON

5,210 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #heck yeah #Tumblr year in review

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dashawfrostart · 1 month

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These Two Weeks In “Time & Again” #15: IT'S FINALLY DONE 😱 And The Logo, And The Font

I almost kinda can't believe this, but just a couple days ago, it finally happened:

I FINISHED CHAPTER 5 and shipped it to my editor-in-chef.

Wooooo-Whoooooooooo!!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳 I am so happy! It's really hard to emotionally understand that the work is finally done. That was quite an undertaking.

... Overdue by approximately 3 months. But that was just a silly time limit I set to myself before I even started working on it. Different life situations got in the way of me finishing it up faster, but, all in all, since I am fairly satisfied with the result, I don't think any complaints are justified. I am indeed happy. Now I am in the state of mental emptiness. Joking. Not really. I suppose, until my editor gets back to me with a handful of suggestions, I will simply keep drawing and I will try to finish up all the last preparations before I could justify the public release. Gotta make everything look nice and sparkly clean after all 😁

I also slowly, little by little, write materials for a bonus book that currently has a vague title "Time & Again: Collector's Edition". I believe I never revealed that plan just yet, but that's been something I've been working on on and off since the last year, I think. Or maybe even since 2022. Hopefully it's gonna be interesting to all the "Time & Again" obsessed fans in the future someday, because it will contain more WIPs and sketches. As for myself, it's just fun to use it as a sophisticated diary for how the work went.

Speaking of different editions... Earlier in this post I've mentioned my plan to release the updated versions of the previously released Chapters 1 to 4. So, the prospects of that updated release are also getting brighter and brighter; from ghostly, ephemeral concept it is actually gradually fleshing into something real, almost day by day now. And this is very good. And here's the grand reveal for you: this is what the refreshed logo for of the updated edition gonna look like:

In fact, Chapter 5 will already have this very logo, for it's gonna be the first Chapter to be ever released that came with "Notes & Commentary" section right away. And the presence/necessity of that very section is the main reason why I am updating everything in the first place.

So, when will "Time & Again: Clean Cut Edition" of the previous chapters be released?

- unfortunately, that I have yet to decide on. Cannot tell right now, but one thing that stands for certain is that it will be released only after Chapter 5 goes public. My current priority right now is the release of Chapter 5, proper and nice.

Since today's blog post already contains a fairly big and happy announcement, this might be enough of the news for now. What could possibly be as important as the fact that I finally finished up the supermassive amount of work, literally a new chapter in Lothar's story?! Probably not much!.. Well, almost.

For the last topic to cover today, I wanted to tell something else important and interesting that most people will probably not understand due to excess amount of specific terms 😅 But it matters a lot to me, so here goes.

Not long before all the work on Chapter 5 was 100% done, I finally got to look at the main font that I use in my graphic novel (Frosty's Comic Font), for it needed some perfection: I remembered that it was not displaying correctly in some cases, or rather, selected set of the symbols didn't look right, depending. ... I must admit, I am a huge fan of typefaces. I used to collect fonts for personal use back in the day, for I loved to experiment with different designs, and usually I needed them for my custom "one of a kind" greeting cards I used to make for my friends' birthdays. Good memories.

A few years back I started to learn how to make my own True Type fonts - and I bet you have already seen at least a couple of those fonts on my artworks, logos, signatures and, of course, in "Time & Again". Some of those fonts are still partially incomplete and/or unpolished and, thus, currently unused by me - until the moment in the future when I will finally have more time to fiddle with 'em, for working on fonts is not too difficult, but not particularly easy either. In this case, I mean "it's time consuming", for the process of actually drawing a font, designing letters and symbols to me is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. But vectorizing, perfecting the kerning in between certain pairs of letters, making sure that nothing is sticking out too much comparing to the rest... That is a bit tedious. In the end of the day however, it pays off tenfold, for you have a pretty, absolutely nice font that can be used virtually anywhere, in any software, for any purpose. I've never designed any monospace font yet... But aye, I'm being a little too nerdy again. Back on track, Frosty.

I never post my fonts anywhere to download, paid of free; I use my font solely by myself for now. And "Time & Again" was the reason why I urgently needed a new nice font with a fair touch of "me" in it... I wanted to make "Time & Again" my own as much as possible. So it was only obvious that I needed to design my own typeface for this crazy project. In 2021, I made the first relatively complete version of Frosty's Comic Font to use in "Time & Again" as the main font for the characters' speech. It contained all the basic English language glyphs and extra symbols for German language. Alas, not everything was smooth, and in Inkscape, when I used to copy-paste the lines of text on the speech bubbles, the formatting of little symbols such as apostrophe and quotation marks went down the drain, and was exchanged with the default system font (or whatever Inkscape uses when a glyph is missing). Unfortunately, that error stretched out in time (and space) up until a few days ago. I only was able to figure it out last week. By the time I managed to figure it out, the version of the font reached 1.3, and the last update also contained glyphs for Spanish language. It turned out, I did not include glyphs for all the possible variations of apostrophes and quotation marks. So I got that fixed. And now everything works like a charm. I am very proud 🙃 But the actual reason why I needed to return to designing fonts was different: I was tired of not being able to force italicize my font in Inkscape. While Krita allows for a default italic offset for a font that does not come with a premade italic version of itself, Inkscape does not do that. My manner of work is such, that I work with fonts on the pages of my graphic novel in Inkscape, for it's easier to me. But I like to sometimes accentuate certain words in the speech of the characters with italics, usually to make the readers pay extra attention to those particular words. I did not want to fiddle with workarounds (and in fact I know of no such things for my particular issue) in Inkscape, trying to combine multiple text boxes with different manual skew on the same line or whatnot, so I finally decided to make Frosty's Comic Font Italic. I generate all my fonts in FontForge. Here's what the window looks like:

I couldn't even imagine that generating an italic version out of a regular font could be done in just a couple of clicks in FontForge! 😱 So simple!

Once it was skewed, I tried to input an example text just to test it out and see what it looks like. When I'm test driving my fonts, I like to write something that uses extra symbols, such as something in German or in Spanish, because all those extra fancy letters make me happy. And once I was satisfied with it, I saved the final version (v1.4) and started using it! Here's the clear side by side comparison of what the regular version looked like versus the new italicized one:

I think it turned out rather nicely.

And now in Inkscape I can finally use different formatting of my own very font within one text box, as illustrated through a quotation from a song by U2 (these guys are my current obsession - just as in ol' good times when I was 11 🤣) on the screenshot below:

Magic!!!!!)))))

That's probably all for now.

... Okay, okay! You probably want more teasers/spoilers from the finished product, right? Here's a little funny snippet for you:

Because any urban landscape always requires fat rock pigeons staring at stuff. Some of them might even watch something while munching on popmeat popcorn.

That's all for today's great news! See you soon! 👋😎 There's more to come.

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #Krita #Inkscape #typeface design #graphic novel

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ninasbookshelf · 7 months

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recs for sally rooney lovers: part 1

I will read anything Sally Rooney writes.

If you're like me—you admire Rooney's writing to the point where you'd savor even her daily to-do list if she released it—then you know intimately the horrifying and all-consuming experience of finishing Rooney's novels. "What am I supposed to do now?" Maybe you manage to briefly patch up the hollow feeling by ordering a used copy of Mr Salary on eBay, but the short story is over soon enough, and you are back to wondering whether you will ever read something so beautiful again.

Don't worry, I'm here.

I've been closely guarding my "Recommendations for Sally Rooney Lovers" list for the past few years. Slowly but surely I've added to the list, as I searched for hints of Rooney in other works I've read. For a time, I unintentionally made a habit of analyzing the books I read in the light of whether or not my fellow Sally Rooney fans would enjoy them, and why. Now I have enough recommendations for at least two posts, and I'm working my way towards a part three. I will make no promises on timing! It might even be awhile before part two is posted, because I really want to get it right. That being said, if you're a fan of Sally Rooney's writing and you enjoy these recommendations, please stick around! I'm saving a few of my favorites for part two.

There is something on this list for everyone. I give brief descriptions of each book and what is similar or different about the writing compared to Rooney's. To figure out which recommendations are best for you, I suggest considering what exactly it is you love about Sally Rooney's work, and then you can filter through the suggestions and see which ones share those traits.

I hope you enjoy!

Fault Lines by Emily Itami

I was lured into Fault Lines by the pretty book design and mention of Sally Rooney on the cover. The narration in the early pages is full of the long, winding, frazzled thoughts of a mother trying to keep her life together in Tokyo. This voice grated on me at first, but the more I read the less I noticed it, and soon enough I found myself immersed in the companionship of Mizuki's life.

Fault Lines echoes the intimacy of a Sally Rooney novel, sharing the confidential details of Mizuki's life as if she is a friend sharing her woes and escapades over coffee. It ties in reflections on both Japanese and American culture as the main character tries to find harmony between the mindset she is surrounded by and the one she grew to love while abroad. If you enjoy the close character insight and cultural reflections Rooney provides in her novels, Fault Lines is for you.

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai

When I read No Longer Human for the first time in 2022, I fell in love.

Set in Japan, No Longer Human follows a young man in Japan named Oba Yozo as he tries to find his place and exist comfortably in a world where he often feels he doesn't belong. From a young age Oba Yozo learns to take on a certain "jokester" personality to get by, but this move results in his feeling insincere. The novel gives the reader such a raw look at the workings of the protagonist's mind throughout his life, that despite him being a deeply flawed person, by the end of the novel I couldn't help but have an affinity for the protagonist. It forces the reader to understand him. There were times when the protagonist angered me, and it actually hurt, that's how well I felt I knew him.

I think Rooney fans will be drawn to the way Dazai inserts the reader into the protagonist's psyche, as well as his interaction with the cultural changes happening in Japan and his relationship to money and class. As a warning, this book deals heavily with mental health and depression, so please keep that in mind before you decide to pick it up.

Scorpionfish by Natalie Bakopoulos

Scorpionfish follows Mira as she returns to a family apartment in Greece after the deaths of her parents. Mira gets into a routine of chatting with her new neighbor—a former sea captain—whenever the two are on their adjacent balconies, and slowly they start to open up to each other and find comfort in their daily routine as neighbors. This connection is set against a backdrop of Athens during a time when the city is facing instability economically and politically. Readers see the city and its people through Mira's eyes as she comes to terms with the reshaping of her familial, romantic, and even platonic relationships. We also see Mira's relationship to the city itself, and the difficulty of loving a place that one can't fully call home. One of the things I loved about this novel is the reflection on what I call "cultural limbo"; when you have one foot in the US and one in Greece, which one is yours? How do you exist floating somewhere in between?

The writing style is approachable and a great option for any Rooney fan.

Happy Hour by Marlowe Granados

I first read this book in 2021, and it was one of my favorite books of the year. I picked it up for the intriguing artwork on the covers, and I am so glad I did.

Happy Hour has refreshing and witty narration with keen observations on the New York City social scenes as experienced by Isa Epley and her best friend Gala. The two women are in their early twenties and are dead-set on having a summer of amusement in the city. The novel travels through both the quotidian and spontaneous events of their summer as the women navigate NYC nightlife, parties, friendships, and the dating scene. Happy Hour also details the sometimes harsh realities of Isa and Gala's situation as they try to get by financially in the city despite their lack of work visas. As a variety of issues attempt to derail their plans, Isa and Gala's determination to spend the summer simply enjoying themselves remains strong.

The writing in Happy Hour is more densely packed with observation than Rooney's works (which I find have more dialogue than Happy Hour if I remember correctly), but it's done in an intentional and artful way. The prose is charming and captivating, and the novel shares a tender depiction of female friendship. If you enjoy the reflective nature of Rooney's novels, the striving to get by, the intelligence and fun, and the way her characters find comfort through their relationships with each other, I recommend Happy Hour.

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

If you need a break from fiction, this one is for you! Crying in H Mart is a memoir examining Michelle Zauner's relationship with her late mother as she reflects on her mother's battle with cancer. Zauner pieces together her experience through the help of Korean cuisine, trying to grow closer to her mother by learning to cook the meals her mother used to make. Crying in H Mart has an approachable writing style as well as reflections on family and culture that I think many Sally Rooney fans would enjoy.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

TSOA is a stunning Greek mythology retelling detailing the Trojan War from Patroclus' perspective. The novel features achingly beautiful prose, and as much as I love it, I am aware that it is definitely not for every Rooney fan. If you're looking for the direct, lucid style of writing that Rooney displays in her novels, TSOA isn't for you. TSOA is slow-paced and the narration is lyrical, dazzling, and often emotional.

What TSOA does have in common with Rooney is that it centers on a romantic relationship and a particular dedication between two characters. They make mistakes, fate and family members try to get in their way, but the couple are constantly drawn to each other. It's magnetic. If you enjoyed the intimacy of Rooney's works, and don't mind a slower-paced, lyrical change, this is a great option.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

Convenience Store Woman is a sort of weird but striking novel that I wasn't convinced, at first, that I liked, but months down the line I found myself still thinking about it. Set in Japan, the novel follows Keiko, a convenience store worker who finds comfort in the straightforward rules of her workspace. She is happy in her role except for the constant judgments and pressures from her peers to search for something "better". She is also happy being single and living in a small apartment, except for the comments and questions from her friends and family. Throughout the story, Keiko struggles to find a way to maintain the lifestyle she enjoys without becoming socially unacceptable. The boundaries of Korean society collide with the life Keiko has in mind as Murata explores the definitions of success and happiness and whether there is any chance of creating harmony between personal happiness and societal expectation when that harmony fails to come naturally.

In Convenience Store Woman the reader is almost hyper-aware of Keiko's emotions and thoughts, which might be appealing if you enjoy the character personalities of Rooney's novels. Additionally, if you appreciate the social commentary that Rooney shares through her stories, Convenience Store Woman is worth a read.

How to Order the Universe by María José Ferrada

I read How to Order the Universe in the limbo of a train ride, in one sitting, cover to cover on my way to New York City.

Set in Chile, a young girl referred to as M joins her dad during his work as a traveling salesman. We see the world around them slowly shift as both M and her country grow and change, and eventually we see M's hindsight reckoning with her upbringing as she ventures into adulthood. It's a coming of age story that involves rumination on familial relationships, politics, and culture. If these are aspects of Sally Rooney's novels that you like, then you may enjoy How to Order the Universe as well. Ferrada doesn't speak quite as directly about politics as Rooney does—from what I remember it isn't actually discussed by the characters—but the political state of the country is deeply ingrained into the setting of the novel and is experienced through the eyes of a child growing up in that setting. It's also a short read, and great as a traveling companion.

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo

Fictional but heavily based on the author's own experiences in Korea, Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 details a woman's everyday battles with sexism, misogyny, and mental health. I think of this novel as an exposé of a cultural cover-up of the issues women face on a regular basis. The writing felt a bit rushed to me, although maybe that's intentional given how overworked and drained the protagonist feels. It's very much worth a read though, especially for fans of Conversations with Friends and those who appreciate the way women's issues are portrayed in Rooney's novels in general.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo has more of a pop-fiction feel than Rooney's literary fiction, with a mystery edge to it as the fictional Old Hollywood starlet Evelyn Hugo slowly reveals her secrets to the reader. It's definitely more plot-based than, say, Normal People. If you're a "no plot just vibes" type, this isn't for you, but if you like a good plot-line with a few twists and turns, this is a great change of pace! Why I think it could work for Sally Rooney fans is that it gives the reader a close look at a specific character, her life philosophies, and her relationships, which are all key facets of Rooney's novels. It also discusses sexuality and how the labels attached to it affect the characters. If you're looking for something entertaining that keeps you on the edge of your seat, this is a good pick.

Ok! That's it for part one. I have some really exciting recommendations in part two, hopefully up before Christmas so that you have more gift options for all the Sally Rooney fans in your life (especially you). I'll post it under the #sally rooney tag on my page when it's ready. Thanks for reading! ✨

#booklr #book recs #sally rooney #bibliophile #books and literature

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snapbookreviews · 1 year

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! It's time for a mildly belated retrospective on 2022. Feat. my top three books, the wild and crazy things you can learn by looking at your blog statistics, and a gander at the future.

This was supposed to be a year end wrap up post, but life kept happening. So, here’s our recap of last year and what the future looks like for this blog. First things first, I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me on Patreon, left thoughtful comments, and liked and shared my posts. An essay I wrote on camp and the appropriation of drag culture back in 2018 even seems…

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#housekeeping #thank you

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the-middle-grounds · 1 year

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I posted 1,139 times in 2022

149 posts created (13%)

990 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@secretlystephaniebrown

@kineticallyanywhere

@fantastic-nonsense

@abd-illustrates

@marsoid

I tagged 1,139 of my posts in 2022

#q - 963 posts

#reblogged art - 268 posts

#dc - 204 posts

#reblogged videos - 132 posts

#memery - 121 posts

#rambles - 105 posts

#writing is hard - 59 posts

#cats - 53 posts

#bruce wayne - 53 posts

#dick grayson - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i can still write its just that i rely too much on internet autosave and i don't trust device saving after too many incidents with computer

My Top Posts in 2022:

June Log 2022|Mid-2022 Log

“June? What happened to May?”

Recharging.

Well, finally at the middle of the year. Definitely falling behind my goals, but I have come to some realizations.

First and foremost, while I was looking forward to writing a book around the next year, I’ve come to realize it might be better to hold that off in favor of my planned webcomic. We’ll see what I stick with by the end of the year, most likely.

I don’t have a second one, I don’t why I acted like I did.

I will say though, I think I need to introduce more routine in my life. That way I can chip away at stuff more and feel more productive than my usual random bursts of 10k words in one sleep deprived night.

Other than that, June’s here, and I’m going to be swapping out other goals for new ones.

Yay.

Goals for 2022

Rewatch Red Vs Blue

Actually finished season 1. Plan to finish the rest maybe around August. Though I think I’ll only go up to season 14. (Looking into the newest seasons some other time)

One inked and colored drawing a month (even if it’s just monochrome)

Failed and not continuing. Maybe next year.

Doodle/Drawing Challenge (365 Days of Red-X)

Starts this month on the 8th. (Was supposed to be May but I got the date wrong).

Finish two one arc of Three Strikes (other than the first arc).

Behind this one. so adjusting it to just one arc. That arc is about 3 chapters, but could stretch to 4-5.

Finish plotting at least two books of a novel series.

I got this. Partially.

Design the main cast of a webcomic I’m planning.

I have IDEAS. Just trying to figure out what I want. Thankfully most of them wear uniforms.

June Goals

Read Lightning Thief

Actually surprised I didn’t read this earlier considering I was interested in Greek Mythology when I was 12-13. Fun book so far.

Also what the fuck’s with this kid.

Finish Chapters 2-3 of Three Strikes

Finally got free time AND the drive to write.

I swear once I actually get on a roll it’s over for my procrastination.

For a bit.

See the full post

2 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

Okay but Deliver Us is great

3 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Another year another Tarah.

Decided to add some simplistic shading and give them some clothes for the first time (i still don’t have an entire outfit in mind).

Some notable changes that I’ve made to the 2021 version:

- Disgruntled Tarah

- Bye, bye back hair ombre (it felt too overpowering when I gave them clothes versus when they didn’t)

- Simplified the hair because it’s painful to draw.

- Simplified their facial markings because it looked way too much like overexaggerated eyeliner.

- Ears! I love tufted ears and need to be contained. But also didn’t like the overly large/fluffy design.

- Rounder nose (might change back)

- Choker that totally has no relation to the plot. Absolutely not.

4 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Teen Titans (Animated Series), DCU Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Red X/Barbara Gordon, Red X & Dick Grayson, Red X & Jason Todd, Red X & Original Characters, Red X & Bruce Wayne, Red X & Teen Titans, Red X/Komand'r, Red X & H.I.V.E Five, Red X/Kyd Wykkyd, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Red X (DCU), Teen Titans (DCU), Dick Grayson, Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Victor Stone, Raven (DCU), Original Characters, Batfamily Members, Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd, Komand'r (DCU), H.I.V.E Five, Jinx (DCU), Kyd Wykkyd (DCU) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Red X is his own character, Morally Ambiguous Character, Unreliable Narrator, Depression, Dark, Relationship-centric, Family, Team as Family, Canon Disabled Character, Romani Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon is a BAMF, Multiracial Jason Todd, Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Background Relationships Summary:

One for the money.

Two for the show.

Three to be ready.

And four more to go.

___

He's a thief; he has been all of his life, and he is more than likely to go to the grave with this fact eternally hanging over his head. It's the only thing he's good at; that and ruining things for other people. In some screwed-up way, watching people get what they deserve is even fun for him; it's karmic justice.

But just like every other person, he has flaws and makes mistakes now and again.

And at this rate, they're going to catch up with him.

---

Rated M for Mature Language and Violence.

5 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I find the outrage about The Batman not being for kids funny because I've seen at least one person boldly say: "Has there EVER been a child-friendly Batman movie?"

Like Lego Batman didn't come out a few years ago.

16 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i was confused as to why my biggest posts had so little when i remember getting way more activity this year #then remembered those were made before 2022 #woops #well happy new years everyone

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pinkqueen1895 · 2 years

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Reborn Tumblr

I didn’t post much to begin with. But the few posts that I have were from September 2019. It’s amazing to see what my hopes/ goals were from that time. So I’m here to share a little bit about me and my journey in hopes that someone may benefit from it.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I went off to college in a different state and. enjoyed the best four years of my life. I grew as a person, came out of my shell. I realized that the things that I had to live with in and had adapted to in my family were not normal. It was then that I realized that some members of my family were toxic. I moved back home after graduating college in 2017. I had a dream that after college I would move away from my family and make craploads of money because coming from a lower income class family, financial stability was something that I strived for. Got a job in a smaller town 45 minutes away. I wanted to be a paralegal and was attending graduate school. Depression and anxiety set in. I lost my grandma in January 2018 furthering my downward spiral. I was fired 2 months later due to attendance. I felt hopeless and a failure. Because as a college grad this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Moved back in with my mom, got another job working for the school district in August. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. what my goals and ambitions were. Whilst working for the school district decided I will become a teacher, transferred to a different graduate school. Attendance became an issue at my job. Depression and anxiety further ramped up being in the same home with my family. Was not making enough money to live on my own. Not only that, I was taking out credit cards and was spending money I didn’t have. Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. Flunked out of graduate school and was asked not to come back for the next school year because of attendance and those issues. Further felt like a failure. I was ready to die in the summer/ early fall of 2019. I didn’t leave my room except for my therapy appointments that I attended once a week. But other than didn’t leave the house. I hated myself and everybody around me. Didn’t see the point of living as I was just wasting away in my mom’s basement. September - I contacted a college roommate that lived in NE that told me if I ever wanted to move in with her I could. I contacted her on a Monday, and moved out Friday September 12 to start over. I only packed my clothes and shoes and one box of miscellaneous things. I drove to NE with a full tank of gas and $80 to my name. I knew if I stayed with my family, I would die. I decided to live.

NE wasn’t easy to start with. I had a place to stay but no job. So I applied everywhere but ultimately settled working at Walmart and a Hotel to barely make ends meet. I got my own apartment in January 2020. I had an air mattress but no furniture. Worked at both jobs for a little more than a year and finally got a position that I excelled at: Accounting. Little by little, paid off my credit card and hospital debts. October 2021 - found out I was getting sued for a $11000 unpaid medical debt. Later on that week my grandfather that I was really close to passed away in his sleep. I didn’t get to see him earlier that year and I was planning to do so in December. Something I will always regret is not seeing him more and letting him know how much he meant to me. Declared bankruptcy in January 2022 - my debts were too much and I had to buy a (new to me) car because my other one wasn’t going to make it. Stayed at the new position for a little more than a year. Made a lot of friends. Attendance never became an issue something that happened in my previous jobs. Applied for a different company same industry: Accounting as I believe that this will help me further my career. I finally got furniture and was able to bring my books and everything that I left behind in my mom’s house to my apartment. I started reading again and finished a puzzle, something that I loved to do in the past but stopped doing because I no longer enjoyed it. I adopted a cat her name is Birdie, who is hands down the most neediest cat ever! I lost weight, it’s not much and I still need to lose more but it’s a start. I’m eating better and go for walks. I am hoping to give graduate school another try and to eventually get a CPA license and move up in the company. I also plan on moving to a new apartment hopefully in the next year that it is better. I have a closer relationship to my mom and my sister, for the first time ever. If you would’ve told me that 3 years ago I would be here making decent. money, new car, living my best life when I was on the. verge of suicide, I would call you a big fat liar. But it did get better, and the reason is for another post. I am hoping to turn this into a book, puzzle, cat, depression and anxiety. awareness thing. Hopefully!

#mentalwellness #depression #anxiety #mental illness #mentalheathawareness #book blog #puzzle #rebirth #cat #new life

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twh-news · 3 years

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'Loki' Full Season 1 Review: The Most Frustrating Thing Is How Incomplete the Story Feels

Editor's note: The following contains spoilers through the Season 1 finale of Loki, "For All Time. Always."

[TWH-NEWS note: Tom is NOT confirmed to be on Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness even though the article so claims. Marvel hasn't confirmed it.]

The Loki season finale is perhaps one of the most vexing episodes of television I have seen in quite some time. The Disney+ sci-fi drama, tracking the events following Loki's (Tom Hiddleston) escape from the pre-established timeline, was never confirmed to be an ongoing show versus a limited series, with rumors of a second season on the horizon from the beginning, so the biggest twist delivered by "For All Time. Always." ended up being confirmation of a Season 2 with a post-credits title card.

However, while there were other key reveals made during the episode, those reveals left behind plenty of story to explore in future seasons. Too much story. There's a difference between a few dangling plot threads and a mess of string, and the staggering number of questions left unresolved by "For All Time. Always." crosses a line when it comes to completion — especially given the fact that there's no clear sense of when the show might return, and the real story being told is much bigger than the fate of one mischievous scamp.

In general, every episode of this show was beautifully made, with immense credit going to director Kate Herron, head writer Michael Waldron, and the creative team. The cast of known all-stars like Tom Hiddleston, Owen Wilson, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw, blended with new all-stars like Sophia Di Martino and Wunmi Mosaku, did a remarkable job of grounding even the most fantastical moments in raw humanity, and the writing popped with verve and wit. Also, Loki does come full circle on what was its original raison d'etre — the redemption of a character who literally was plucked out of the timeline at his worst, having attacked Manhattan with an alien force so destructive that the Earth needed a whole damn team of superheroes to stop him. On this score, the show was wildly successful, breaking down Loki's sense of grandeur and purpose in the first episode and then slowly but surely rebuilding him into a man capable of evolving beyond his past. Loki did more to examine a single character's psychology and motivations than we've ever seen in the context of the MCU, and all of the progress and growth made by the character, as a result, feels truly earned.

However, if Loki's redemption was the only thing this show had been about, it would have been a very boring show, and Loki was far from boring. The official theme of the series was "What makes a Loki a Loki?" but the real issues being raised were far more existential; in so many ways, this was a show about faith and free will, an undercurrent that deserves more exploration and frankly appreciation, especially after the questions and themes left dangling by the last episode.

This element proved to be key to so much of the show's construction, especially when it comes to the TVA, which basically functions as a religious order — its devotees slavishly sacrificing their lives to the cause of protecting the Sacred Timeline. It's not subtle, especially when the dark side of it is revealed, those devotees learning that their service happened against their will. "We can't take away people's free will, can't you see that?" Mobius pleads with Ravonna in their final scene together, before she walks away in something resembling agreement with him, telling him that she's going in search of free will herself.

Loki Season 1, by the end, becomes a show not just about a crisis of faith, but about an apocalypse. Every time a story about apocalypses comes up, I find it impossible to forget that the Greek word from which the term originates actually means "revelation." That's why the part of the Bible about the world ending is called the Book of Revelations, but beyond that, the definition serves as a reminder of why endings can matter. Endings are beginnings, in some ways. A painful breakup reveals the flaws in what might have seemed like a loving relationship. Extreme climate change is a revelation regarding humanity's callous attitude towards its impact on the environment. For the characters of Loki — perhaps the entire MCU — the apocalypse they're facing following the destruction of the Sacred Timeline also means the revelation of what lives they left behind.

Certainly there's a ton of room for speculation as to what lies ahead for these characters, but the fact is that the next chapter of Loki's journey won't even be told on Disney+, as Hiddleston is reportedly in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and there's no telling when we might return to resolve the events of the Season 1 finale. Cliffhangers are one thing; anyone who grew up watching '90s TV learned the hard way how to handle the dramatic season endings of The X-Files or Star Trek: The Next Generation. But Loki didn't dangle its characters off a cliff — it pushed them off the edge, leaving them suspended in mid-air for who knows how long.

Back in the days of The X-Files you at least knew that whatever jaw-dropping cliffhanger the season finale had just delivered would be addressed by the season premiere in just a few months. (Maybe as many as six months, depending on the baseball season.) That's a sense of certainty that Loki fans do not have the luxury of enjoying; based on where the conversations around a second season currently stand, it could be a while before the contracts are even signed. Conservatively, at this point, it feels unlikely that we'll get a second season of Loki until near the end of 2022, and given that the first season took over two years from its announcement to now to actually debut, 2023 doesn't feel like too much of a stretch. Maybe Owen Wilson and Gugu Mbatha-Raw get to make cameos in Doctor Strange 2 as well? Nothing is possible and everything is possible. We just have to wait for the answer, and in the meantime stew in dissatisfaction.

"Only one person gets free will. The one in charge," Ravonna tells Mobius — implicitly referring to He Who Remains (Jonathan Majors). Who, speaking of, is now dead, Sylvie having completed her one primary quest to revenge herself upon the ones who took her life away. That, combined with the Wizard of Oz parallels, makes this a show that's fascinating to parse (Sylvie literally killed God!), but frustratingly incomplete in its themes. Literally as the episode officially ended on the visage of Kang enshrined as the ruler of the TVA, I said out loud "Well, there's going to be a Season 2," and I suppose that thanks are owed to Marvel and Disney+ for not leaving that element in suspence for more than two minutes and two seconds.

But if I have a religion, it's my belief in the power of storytelling, how the myths we create for ourselves and others can shape lives and hopefully make them better. One tenet of that is the idea that great stories deserve some sense of completion. So, the first season of Loki committed a pretty grievous sin.

#There's no confirmation on Tom being in the next Doctor Strange film!!!#loki #loki series #review #article #collider #loki spoilers #spoilers #loki series spoilers

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mimisempai · 3 years

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Wait for me on the other side 7/8

Summary:

Will we attend the long awaited meeting?

Notes:

Final stretch before the end... How are you doing?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32948254/chapters/82448716

Loki's apartment - 2021

I WANT TO MEET YOU!

FOR REAL THIS TIME!

Loki turned the drawing over, Mobius had added a few words to it.

Answer me after 6pm, I'll wait by the mailbox.

Loki looked at the clock, it was 5:15 p.m., he took his notepad and his pencil and left in a hurry towards the house on the cliff.

Arriving a few minutes after 6pm, he went to the mailbox, scribbled quickly on his notebook, tore out the page and after putting it in the box, he raised the flag.

It was lowered almost immediately, the start of another conversation punctuated by its movement.

Mobius House - 2019

Mobius was pacing around the box, avoiding looking at his watch every minute, wondering if he had frightened Loki with his request for a date, when the flag suddenly rose.

L -How?

M -Pick a place. I will be there. I promise. Tomorrow, what do you say?

L -Mobius. It's not tomorrow for you. You'll have to wait two years.

M -I don't care. I'll wait. Meet me at the restaurant tomorrow and I'll be there. I'll be two years older, but I'll be there.

L -What will you be doing all that time?

M -Think about you. And working out every day, getting in shape, praying I don't lose my hair...

L -Are you sure?

M -I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I've already lost so much time. I don't want to waste any more with you.

Loki suddenly felt almost dizzy. Mobius had two years to prepare for this appointment while Loki had less than twenty-four hours. He took a deep breath before closing the mailbox.

L - See you in two years, then.

M - See you tomorrow night. Where would you like to go?

Frigga restaurant - 2019

Mobius entered the restaurant and was greeted by the hostess.

"Hi, I'd like to reserve a table for two."

She flipped through the reservation book before telling him in an apologetic tone, "Well, I'm sorry, but we just received our fourth star and I'm afraid it's extremely difficult to get a reservation at this hour. When did you expect to dine here?"

Mobius replied with a smile, "Two years from tomorrow. September 15, 2021."

The hostess blinked a few times and then closed the book, before answering with a big smile, "We should be able to accommodate you, sir."

Loki's apartment - September 15, 2021 - Morning

Loki prepared to leave for work. He looked at the outfit he prepared for that evening. He couldn't remember when he hadn't felt such excitement. He couldn't remember ever feeling this excited.

September High School - September 15, 2021 - 5pm

As he packed up his things after having finished his last class of the day, and was already looking forward to the evening ahead, he was jolted out of his reverie by Thor's stormy arrival in his office.

"Thank God you're still here."

"Obviously." replied Loki, pointing out with irony.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not your week, but can you do a detention watch for an hour? Jane is visiting between flights and I was supposed to monitor tonight's detention, but-"

Loki looked at his watch and sighed, "Yes, I can, but one hour not more. I have a date."

"Thank you, thank you! I promise, it's just an hour, no more. But I want to hear all about this date tomorrow, okay?"

Loki shook his head and chuckled, "Alright, alright, go meet Jane!"

Before leaving, Thor threw over his shoulder, "I don't know who that is, but I've never seen you smile like that before, Loki, and it suits you! Bye!"

He was gone before Loki had time to answer.

An hour later, Loki was walking quickly towards his apartment. He entered in a hurry, ran into the room and threw off his clothes.

Croki followed him around, curious, as Loki muttered, "He waited two years. What's another half hour? Right?"

He continued his preparations, but at a calmer pace. He put on a dark green v-neck sweater, of a shade that he knew brought out his eyes, at least that's what the saleswoman had told him, a pair of charcoal-colored pants that highlighted his silhouette. He looked at himself two or three times in the mirror before shrugging his shoulders.

A few minutes later, he left his building and took a cab to the restaurant.

Frigga Restaurant - September 2021

Loki stopped before entering. He inhaled several times to calm himself. He was ready, excited but confident. He opened the door with a firm hand.

While removing his coat, he scanned the room. There are not many tables. Before he could find Mobius, the hostess approached him.

"Good evening sir, can I help you?"

Loki cleared his throat, "Yes, I have a reservation. Laufeyson. Or Mobius, I'm not sure what name it was made under."

The hostess examined her book and looked up with a huge smile, "Oh yes! You're the..." she paused before pulling herself together, "Follow me."

Loki was led to a table for two. It was empty. He was a little surprised.

The hostess turned to him and said, a little embarrassed, "I hope you'll forgive me, but I can't help asking..."

"Yes?"

"This reservation is sort of... legendary. It's been here longer than most employees. There's always been intense speculation about who made it, and why, and whether you were really going to show up. Some of the team members even made bets..."

Loki looked around. Throughout the room, waiters were glaring at him. The chefs and kitchen helpers were looking out the kitchen door. Loki suddenly felt very embarrassed.

The hostess immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'll send the waiter to get your drink order right away."

A little later a waiter returned and poured Loki a glass of champagne.

"Compliments of the chef."

Loki nodded in thanks.

Just before leaving, the waiter threw him a small smile, "Good luck."

Loki began to sip the champagne, a little more nervous.

Some time later, his glass was empty and he was still waiting, alone at the table. The waiter approached to refill his glass, but Loki stopped him.

He was aware that the restaurant staff was watching him, whispering among themselves. Two hours passed, other customers lingered over dessert, coffee, chatting intimately at the candlelit tables.

Loki was still alone.

After a long moment, he pushed back his chair and stood up. Everyone was looking at him, gravely.

He walked to the front, expressionless, and took his coat, without speaking to anyone before leaving under the sad look of the hostess watching him leave. Loki returned home, alone. His stoic facade began to crumble. He had tears in his eyes.

He took a paper and wanted to write but didn't have the heart. Not now.

House on the cliff - September 16, 2019

The day was gray and windy, Mobius stood in front of his mailbox and read the words "YOU WEREN'T THERE." He shook his head, lost.

M - I'm really sorry. I don't understand. Something must have happened. Look, I have two years. I'll try to fix it.

L -No, Mobius... You don't understand. It's too late. It's already happened.

I'm not upset. I mean, I was at first.

But now I just feel stupid... that I forgot how much a person's life can change in two years.

And for expecting yours not to change.

For expecting you to wait, to stand still, to put your life on hold, for me.

M - But I can do it. I can wait for you. I know I can. I won't forget.

L -Maybe you did. Maybe, wherever you are, you are busy, happy, and living so fully in the present that the dinner you planned two years ago just... slipped your mind. Just like you forget about impossible fantasies when they're over, when you get on with real life.

M - You mean I should go on with my real life?

L- I mean... I think we both should.

After seeing his words, Mobius hurried to answer, his hand trembling with emotion.

Please write to me, answer me.

Mobius put his letter in the mailbox and raised the flag. It stayed up.

An hour later, the flag was still up, Mobius opened the mailbox, there was only the note he had put in.

Hours, then days, then months passed, as Mobius wrote and posted letter after letter. Finally, there was a stack of his letters in the box. They continued to pile up, unanswered. Until the box was so full that Mobius could not put any more letters in.

Bi-Frost Bar - Février 2022

It was winter, everything outside was covered in snow.

Loki was sitting at a table with Bruce, Thor, Heimdall and Carol.

They were now meeting here at least once a week after work.

As Bruce and Carol debated some obscure point of astronomy, mediated by Heimdall, Thor leaned toward Loki and put his hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Loki gave a half-smile and answered honestly because Thor was one of the few people who could read him, "I've been better."

"Are you still writing to your mysterious pen pal."

Loki, his throat tight, could not answer and shook his head.

Thor simply said, without insisting, "I'm sorry, Loki, if you need to talk, you know my phone number."

Loki did not answer.

Later, as he returned home, he found a message on his answering machine.

"Hi, Lo. It's Sigyn. I'm in town. I had to come in for a meeting."

Loki started to press the button to delete the message, when Sigyn's voice continued, "A real one this time. I swear to you. Call me. Only if you feel like it."

The next evening Loki and Sigyn were sitting in the pizzeria where they had met before. Neither of them really felt comfortable.

Sigyn said quietly, "I didn't think you'd come out."

Loki replied wryly, "Don't take this personally but..."

Sigyn interrupted him, "You couldn't say no to the free meal."

"Exactly." they both laughed.

Then Loki asked, "So. How did your ' meeting ' go?"

Sigyn looked slightly offended at the way Loki had emphasized the word meeting.

"I told you I didn't make it up, it really happened. They offered me a job.A bigger firm. I'm going to be in-house counsel." She smiled proudly before continuing, "Call them if you don't believe me."

A little later, they arrived in front of Loki's residence which was on the way to Sigyn's hotel. They stopped at the door.

Sigyn said quietly, "I took this job because I wanted to. This is not an ambush, Lo."

Loki nodded and replied softly, "Well, that's great news. Congratulations, Sigyn. I'm really happy for you."

Sigyn smiled, "Thank you, and thank you for coming."

Loki leaned over and kissed her goodnight, briefly. Sigyn looked surprised and pleased.

Loki watched her, it was comfortable and familiar, but then his gaze slipped to the tree behind Sigyn. Its leaves swayed in the night air. It was the tree Mobius had planted. Loki looked at it, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Sigyn, but I can't."

After a tearful goodbye, as he walked back up to his apartment, Loki muttered to himself, "I may not be able to meet him, but I can't lie to myself either."

Mobius House - 2020

The mailbox was covered with snow. It was so cold that the lake had frozen over. Mobius, who was walking outside, looked inside the mailbox, by reflex. It was empty. He closed it slowly, disappointment on his face.

Distracted, he didn't notice that Croki was walking away quickly, towards the forest.

Mobius finally looked around.

Croki started to run. Mobius chased him. But soon, in the density of the forest, he did not see him anymore. Mobius ran straight ahead, continuing to call. He tripped on a stump and fell into the snow, he got up and called again, looking around, upset. Croki was really gone.

Mobius was about to run again, when he suddenly stopped. A realization dawned on his face.

Croki was going to find his new owner.

Mobius knew what he had to do.

A few days later, he was talking in the living room with Casey.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Mobius replied with a wistful look on his face, "Yes, I need to move on, staying here, I won't make it."

Casey nodded, understanding and added simply, "If you need help, you can count on me."

A few weeks later, "Mobius packed the house methodically and with determination. He assembled boxes with tape and threw his things in. He put the trash in bags, swept and mopped.

As he was tidying up, he found the stack of letters from Loki. He looked at them for a moment, then packed them up and shoved them in the bottom of a cardboard box before carrying the box to the attic and sealing it.

Hill & Fury Law Firm - 2020

Mobius checked the address on his phone, walked in, and headed to the front desk.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to Sigyn Iwaldi, I don't have an appointment, but tell her it's Mobius and it's urgent."

A few minutes later, Sigyn arrived in the lobby, and motioned for him to follow her into an adjoining meeting room. She barely greeted him and did not look happy to see him.

Mobius didn't wait and asked her point-blank, "Do you still want to rent a house by the lake?"

He didn't wait for an answer and tossed her a bunch of keys. Sigyn looked puzzled.

Mobius continued, "That's what Loki wants."

Sigyn looked angry and asked him abruptly, "How can you know that? How can you know what he wants? Besides, we're not even..."

Mobius shook his head, "I don't want to know anything, but trust me this is what he wants."

Mobius waited no longer and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Later, as Sigyn was opening her car, something caught her eye in the distance. An alligator was slowly strolling down the street, looking lost but heading straight for her. It was Croki.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 (End)

__________

I've said in the last chapter, as a reader I hate cliffhangers. So for you, I've put the turbo on and I'm just saying, stay tuned... you won't have to wait until tomorrow for the last chapter... maybe with only one comment on this chapter, I'll be convinced to publish it even sooner... 😏

#lokius #Developing Relationship #no powers au #Alternate Universe #Letters #penpal #loki series au #loki #mobius m. mobius #lokius fics

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clevercatchphrase · 3 years

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2020 Year Review~

2020. Pretty unique year, don’t you think? It’s the first year since 2002 to have only two different digits in it. After 2022, this won’t happen again until 2111. Yep. Absolutely nothing more interesting than that.

Anyway! It’s time I reflect on my 2020, look back on my yearly goals and rant about things that happened to me this year. I made a post like this last year, where I went over my 2019 goals and talked about what I accomplished and what I didn’t, and it’s only fitting I do the same again this year. Read more under the cut for a random stream of consciousness ramble!

So, first things first, let’s look at my 2019 goals;

Finish paying off that last student loan

Put more stuff on my redbubble

Illustrate my own fan fics

Sew at least one stuffed animal

Make an enamel pin

Read one new book a month

Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make

Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch

Boost my patreon

Paying Off My Last Student Loan: Going down the list, I am proud to say that I FINALLY paid off all my student loans! (and not a moment too soon. The last payment I made was literally days before the first quarantine rolled out). It took me roughly 4 years on my part-time paycheck to pay off all my loans, and once I finished, I had no money to my name (literally; I had less than 1k as emergency money in case of car troubles or health issues). Heck, I’m STILL living at home as a save up for a place of my own. Finally paying off all my student loans DID activate my secret 2020 new year’s resolution, which was to adopt a cat! I did this too, literally a week later! She is the best thing that’s happened to me this entire year and I love her so much and she is the snuggliest cuddle bug I’ve ever met. I’m so happy she’s in my life now~

Put More Stuff On My Redbubble: ah ha ha ha… I thought I did this, but then I went and checked, and it turns out-! I did not. I made art I intended to go on my redbubble, but haven’t put there yet. They are all drawings of some OCs from a game I want to make, but because I haven’t progressed on making the game this year, I never got around to putting more stuff related to it on my redbubble. At the time of writing, there are 7 days left in December, so I guess I could go and put it up on my redbubble right now, but without context on where the characters are from, there wouldn’t be much point, now would there?

Illustrate My Own Fan Fics: Another goal that I was so stoked to actually do… and then just didn’t. Gee, I wonder why I couldn’t find the energy or motivation to do it this year? Truly a conundrum. (Hey, you know what? If Ghost Switch counts as a fan fiction in a visual form, then I am doing GREAT on this goal. 2.5 years in, 1 of ~4 arcs done, and still going steady~)

Sew At Least One Stuffed Animal: Okay, I have a valid excuse for not doing this one. I even knew which stuffed animal I wanted to make, and had the pattern drawn out and everything, but I had no money for materials because I had just paid off my student loans. And then, by the time I did have enough money again, quarantine was in full effect and I couldn’t go out to the fabric store. I’m still trying my best to stay out of public places even if the rules are laxer now, because I don’t want to catch the plague even if everyone in my goddamn city thinks and acts like the problem is over already. Even if they’re all wearing masks, even if they’re staying 6 feet apart, I still don’t want to risk it. I will stay inside until health experts give the all clear, and when that day comes, then I will buy some fleece and make a plush.

Make An Enamel Pin: I ACTUALLY DID THIS ONE. TWICE! Halfway through quarantine, I was feeling anxious and depressed about my job and how they were planning to have me work with the public despite climbing infection rates and positive covid cases. I didn’t quit then, but in a desperate move to try and become self-sufficient, I went to madebycooper and made two enamel pins based on some butterfly dragons I drew last year. They’re on my etsy store now! I even went out of my way to open a P.O. box just to start a small business! I haven’t sold a single pin yet, and I’m actually really nervous to sell my first because I don’t trust the efficiency of the postal system thanks to the actions of the GOP that really screwed them over this year! (If you would like to see my enamel pins, click here!)

Read One Book A Month: I did this! With dragon books I bought a couple years back! In fact, I read FOURTEEN dragon books, and still have more books for next year to read! The 14 books I read this year were:

The Hive Queen

The Poison Jungle

Wings Of Fire Legends: Dragonslayer

Dealing With Dragons

Searching For Dragons

Calling on Dragons

Talking to Dragons

The Bronze Dragon Codex

The Brass Dragon Codex

The Black Dragon Codex

The Red Dragon Codex

The Silver Dragon Codex

Dragon Strike, and

Hatching Magic

To be honest, I had read The Red Dragon Codex years ago when it first came out, but completely forgotten what it was about. I remembered liking it, and I knew the reading level was on the lower side, but the whole dragon codex series was pretty good! So far, the Silver dragon codex was my favorite, and black dragon codex was probably the worst! Hatching Magic was also really slow and bad and had plot points that went nowhere, but the book was written in the 80s, so I don’t know what I expected. The Dealing with Dragons series was very charming and great for the most part, save for one line in the last book that really rubbed me the wrong way, and all the Wings of Fire Books go above and beyond in this third arc. The second legends book could be a little tighter, though (sky and wren are the best duo and I want a book solely about them, but I honest to god do not care about leaf and ivy’s stories.)

Write one Page of any story every day/ complete at least one fic: I… did this? Okay, I kinda cheated near the end of the year. I was keeping up the one page a day thing for the first four months, but then the world went to shit and my schedule and habits got disrupted and I fell off my good track record. I completed 7 out of roughly 12 one-shots I had planned for this year (my goal WAS supposed to be one short a month, but… you know how it happens) I kept trying to catch up on this goal all year, but the days kept piling up…. Until November hit. I managed to write over 250 pages for Nanowrimo, and I consider this goal a win. 365 pages of fiction in total, which averages out to about one a day~. SHUT UP IT COUNTS.

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make: Another goal I didn’t have the mental energy to commit to this year. Truly a mystery to where all our willpower went in 2020.

Fully Finish Scripting Ghost Switch: still haven’t done this one yet! The Snowdin arc is completely planned, but I just haven’t gotten around to getting the other areas. I’m not worried, though. I know all the major plot points I gotta hit, it’s just weaving them together in a way that flows nice is the final task. I’m not too worried though. I don’t expect to finish the Snowdin arc for another year and a half, at the bare minimum.

And my last goal of 2020, Boost My Patreon. I did this at the beginning of the year, but then very intentionally stopped about a third of the way through. It didn’t sit right with me to tell you guys to donate to me when suddenly EVERYONE was financially strained from layoffs or being furloughed. I told my patrons the same, and if you ever need to stop donating to me to take care of yourself first, then by all means, please do. I would feel much better knowing you’re using your money to see yourself fed and housed instead of given to me (where it is pretty much only used to buy gas for my car, honestly)

Welp! That was all my goals for 2020! I achieved 4 out of 10 goals plus 1 secret goal! Pretty much the same ratio as last year, but now this time I can blame all my failures on the pandemic! I don’t feel so bad about myself anymore~

ON TO 2021!

I have 11 goals for the new year, again some rolled over from this list, and some from even older years. They are, in no particular order;

Read 12 new books (roughly 1 book a month)

Finish the first draft of 2019’s Nanowrimo project and rewrite it

Script TDV

Finish Scripting Ghost Switch

Build A Comic Buffer

Sew 1 Stuffed Animal

Finish 1 Song Comic

Make another Enamel Pin

Finish 2 short original comics (this one counts as 2 goals)

Finish the 5 remaining one-shot fics

Now to go into depth on each one, more for my own sake, really. I want to know exactly what I have planned for each goal this year, and sometimes just looking at a short list doesn’t capture all the smaller details.

1)Read 12 new books. Same as last year! I The only difference is I might not be able to make it all dragon-related books. (I try my hardest not to buy from amazon anymore, but half-price-books doesn’t always have the obscure stuff I’m looking for)

2)Finish 2019’s nanowrimo project. If you read my 2019 year reflection, you’ll notice I said I wanted to do some original writing. And I did! The story I wrote for nanowrimo back then was a story I’ve been toying with since 2017, but it was only last year I finally got pen to paper. Now, you may find it odd that the keyword says “finish”. You may think, “but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for nanowrimo?” and to that I say, WRONG! I wrote 50k words for nanowrimo, but the draft was only about halfway complete. I was kinda discouraged about what I had written last year, because I didn’t like how it was coming out, but I did manage to get it half done. Now it’s time for me to bite the bullet and just finish the thing so I can finally revise it and make it into something I DO like. (It’s still gonna be hella long, tho. That’s what I get for trying to write an epic fantasy, I guess.)

3)Script TDV. TDV is the abbreviation of the game I want to make. I… still need to do so much for this project OTL… In addition to getting the story solidified, I still need to draw art and game assets, and learn how to code for it, both of which are no small task. I keep having some sort of new year’s goal related to this on my list, and every year I just don’t hit this one. Will 2021 be different?

4)Finish Scripting Ghost Switch. (Or at the very least, get the waterfall arc completely written out). I have a plan to break this down into simpler steps, by focusing on just one arc for a month or two. Every major arc has 2 to 3 parts, broken up by flashbacks, and if I can just finish one section a month, then I should have the entire thing scripted by the end of the year. It’s not a difficult pace, but seeing if I stick with it will be the real challenge, as it is will all my goals it seems.

5)Build a Comic Buffer: I’m actually working on this one right now! Since I paid off my last loan and got a new job this year, my current Patreon goals are kind of out of date. They had all been centered around me paying off that last loan, and working towards full-time employment, but those are both completed now! So instead, I would love to get to a place where my patrons could read pages at least a week ahead, and to do that, I need to build a buffer. And since I’m working 5 full days a week now, I can’t afford to fall behind. But you can’t fall behind if you constantly stay ahead! I would like to have… a 10 to 12 page buffer. That’s roughly 3 months’ worth of pages to always have on hand in case I get swamped with work, or something. Right now I currently have a buffer of 3, which will cover me for half a January, which is better than not having anything at all, but still not the best. (ultimately, I would love to have a buffer so big, I could queue them up for the whole year. Wouldn’t that be something?)

6) Sew one stuffed animal: same as last year. ASSUMING the plague gets under control in 2021, I don’t expect to get to this goal until the summer at the earliest.

7)Finish 1 song comic: I have 7 song comics planned. One is a gift, one possibly for wandersong, one is a collab that’s currently in the works, but I’m waiting on a friend to do their part before I can continue mine, 2 are UT related, and 2 (well, technically 3, but one is the collab) are KH related. It’s one of the UT ones that will probably get finished, if I’m being honest. It’s completely story boarded, and now I just need to ink and color it. I would like to get it done for UT’s 6th birthday, since I made a song comic on the fly for the anniversary this year, and it was fun, and I’d like to do it again! So, look forward to that next september~

8) Make another enamel pin: I have a dolphin design I’d like to make because dolphins are cute, if not little murder machines. (need to save up some expendable income first, tho. THESE THINGS AIN’T CHEAP TO MAKE.)

9 and 10) start and finish 2 original short comics: I’ve got some comic ideas I want to do, but I need to get them written out first. I don’t think either would be too long. Each maybe a couple “episode’s” length, if envisioned on a website like webtoons or tapas. They’d both be heavy in allegory, but not overly drawn out (hopefully)

11)And lastly, Finish the 5 remaining one-shots I had planned for this year but never got around to. I’m going to try to write one every other month. Pure self-indulgent shipping fluff. If I finish these 5, then maybe I’ll ask other people for more prompts and ideas, which I’ve never done before. We’ll see how it goes~

Also, Like last year, I’d like to look at everything that’s happened to me this year, though to be honest, I’m not sure how much I remember/how accurate it’ll be. God, I don’t even remember what January was like. Who was I back then? Who were we all back then? I guess I’ll start my yearly retrospective in march because, heh, god we ALL know what started happening in march.

Firstly, I paid off my last student loan! Then a week later on March 18th, I drove half an hour out of my city to adopt a cat and I love her and it was the best day of this year for me. Spring break is just beginning this weekend, but the attendance at the zoo is shockingly low this year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the news, and they’re all taking precautions about social distancing. I wasn’t too disappointed. Fewer people at the zoo, the easier my job is for me. I was looking forward to getting some free overtime on spring break, since I’m broke after paying off that loan, and I’m a cat parent now and have a furry child to feed. Monday rolls around. My manager calls me and tells me that the zoo is going into lockdown until further notice. I worry for the birds I take care of, but understand it’s for everyone’s safety.

For two months I sleep in and watch way too much YouTube. I join a couple writing discords. I have nightmares about my birds escaping their enclosure and I dreamed one of the security guards I really like at the zoo gets covid and has to go to the ER. I woke up really upset.

I started and finished BBS for the first time. I also replayed and finished KH2 final mix for the first time. It had been about 5 years since I last played KH2 before my PS2 died, and it was like coming home~ I also finished tearaway, and played and beat Ryme for a second time (which I can’t remember if I did that last year, but it was a fun experience regardless)

Mid-June, and I’m allowed to start going back to work, be it on reduced hours. The zoo is still closed to the public, but I’m loving it! I get to work with full-time keepers and do full-time keeper things. It’s so much fun not having to deal with the public. August starts to creep up and there’s a rumor that the zoo will be opening to the public again, which I’m not stoked about. I don’t want to go back to standing in one exhibit all day, talking to guests who don’t listen to the rules or to me. 2 of my younger coworkers (who had both only been there a couple of months) get chosen for full-time positions, while I get passed up which really pisses me off. My other 2 coworkers quit when they think we might be reopening because they cannot risk catching the virus due to at-risk family. I am now the last keeper in the interactive bird exhibit.

I keep working, the zoo slowly opens, but with me as the only interpreter in our interactive bird exhibit, we can’t open because I can’t run the entire exhibit by myself. So my exhibit stays closed. September comes and goes, and then October starts. Now there is more serious talk of opening my exhibit before the end of the year because the zoo expects to bring in larger crowds for the Christmas lights event in November/December. I ask if I get hazard pay or health insurance since I’m doing full-time hours until they hire more staff. They say no.

I immediately start searching for a new job feeling incredibly indignant/hurt/slighted/insulted/used/abused/ALL the negative feelings at my job. I had been there for 4 years, but never got a chance to work full time, while the two newest hires who had only been there 2 months both got moved up. I can’t help but feel they were holding one mistake I made two years ago against me and never wanted to give me a chance. (that, or they knew I was reliable when it came to showing up for work in such a volatile position that sees a lot of new faces, and they didn’t want to bother going through the process of hiring someone new) I don’t want to risk my life working around guests who don’t wash their hands and don’t properly distance. I don’t want to gamble with my health when they won’t offer me health insurance because I’m part time.

Mid October, I get an interview for a full time job and get hired on the spot. I peace out at the zoo 2 weeks later, literally 3 days before they planned to open my exhibit to the public. It was a close call for me to escape before they opened to the public (and pettiness was only partially the reason I dipped out so close to opening). Sorry new hires who are now in charge of the bird feeding exhibit. I taught you the best I could in the short time I had. If the managers are struggling with what to do with one less person, I can’t say I feel bad. I can only hope they delayed opening/closed you down again for your own safety. You are not lightbulbs. I really hope the higher ups stop considering you as replaceable as one. Will I go back to the zoo to visit? Probably. But not for a year at least.

I started my new job the very next day after I quit the zoo, and have been there ever since, (which isn’t that long yet, tbh. Christmas day was my 2 month anniversary). It’s full time, but it’s also a small business, and everyone’s hours this year have been on the short side due to the plague. I understand, though. They don’t want us to work if they can’t afford to pay us. Everyone is nice enough, though some people smoke and it’s hard to avoid them with how frequently we have to go in and out, and I really don’t want to get lung cancer, sorry not sorry, please and thank you. Also, with such a small team, gossip is certainly harder to go undetected, so it’s a relief knowing people don’t talk behind one another’s backs.

I participated and beat my 4th nanowrimo in a row, I made TWO apple crisps on thanksgiving, and made baklava on Christmas and both of these recipes were my first time making them, and they both came out adequately! I voted the first day of early voting, and I did an art trade/collab with two of my friends for my birthday! (normally we would have done monthly “art days” where we get together and do art projects for fun because we’re adults and we can spend our time together however we want, but the plague said otherwise this year) We drew pokemon and it was fun! (hopefully I can show you all the results soon. At the time of writing, I’m still waiting for the last two colored parts to get back to me)

I reached 100 pages on my undertale comic, and finish the first arc out of…! (im not sure. It’s either going to be 4 or 5, I haven’t decided yet)

Over all, I managed to stay healthy as far as I know. I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be this year, but then again, who was? (don’t answer that. I don’t need that kind of comparison in my life right now)

Will 2021be any better? Honestly? I don’t think so. Not right away, at least. Just because a new year is about to start does not mean the slate is completely wiped clean. The change of the calendar year doesn’t magically make all our current problems disappear. Covid will still be here and cases will still climb when January starts. Small business will still be strained when the month rolls over, police will still go on murdering innocent civilians and getting away scot free, amazon and disney will still be monopolizing all consumer goods and media, and I can’t help but feel like there’s an impending shit show about to go down on inauguration day. I do hope things will get better, though. It’ll be arduous and unpleasant, but I do hope things will improve, because sometimes hoping is all you can do.

Good night.

#long post #new year's resolutions #year review #year retrospective

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spine-buster · 4 years

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Alone, Together | My End and My Beginning: Epilogue 2 | Morgan Rielly

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS AN IMAGE THAT I HAVE MADE/DOCTORED SO THAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S FROM A MAGAZINE CALLED “TORONTO LIFE” (A REAL MAGAZINE) THAT CONTAINS A FACE CLAIM FOR BEE. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IT, SKIP PAST! IT’S A QUARTER OF A WAY THROUGH THE EPILOGUE.

July 2022

“I still can’t believe you’re engaaaaaaaaaaaaaged,” Angie wrapped her arms around Bee for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night as they stood out on the deck. Rocco and Clarette had thrown Morgan and Bee an engagement party at their house and had somehow invited the whole team and some of Bee’s work colleagues. Clarette was in heaven hosting for everyone. The team was in heaven gorging on the Italian food Rocco and Clarette catered in. Bee was sure Rocco had showed someone his vegetable garden.

“Can you believe?” Bee mimicked Jonathan Van Ness dramatically. “It’s finally happening.”

“It’s happening when it’s supposed to be happening,” Angie said. “You lived your life first. You accomplished your professional goals first. It was important for you to accomplish those things before marriage. You’re a fucking CFA, Bee. Morgan had better wife’d you up. Not like he can do any better.”

“Hey! That’s my fiancé you’re talking about!” Bee giggled.

“I know. And I love him. But it’s true.”

Bee rolled her eyes playfully at Angie’s words. “He bought us a house in Forest Hill, Angie.”

“You’re going to live in Forest Hill, Bee,” Angie gritted her teeth into a facetious smile. “Mason and I will be there every weekend.”

“Obviously.”

“Stealing all your food.”

“Of course.”

“Swimming in your pool. If you guys build a pool.”

“Better start buying more bathing suits.”

“Our kids will be best friends just like we are.”

Bee smiled. “Naturally. Like there’s any other option.”

***

December 2022

“Is there a way I can keep all these flowers after the wedding? Fuck,” Angie asked as she flipped through Rachel Clingen’s lookbook and the sketches that had been prepared for Bee. Bee had gone to see her a few weeks ago with Aryne, who was adamant that Rachel to the floral décor for the wedding. She didn’t disappoint. “This is going to look stunning.”

“I know, right? I can’t believe how good she is.”

“She’s great. It’s literally everything you said you wanted and she somehow made it come to life. And in the Grand Banking Hall? All that beautiful old architecture and then this? Literally every magazine should be begging you to profile it because it’s gonna look beautiful.”

Bee couldn’t help but chuckle. She had a much better relationship with the media now than she did when she first started dating Morgan, and she was much more comfortable around photographers or the press – especially in terms of hers or the Lady Leafs charity work – but she was always, always a bit weary. She wouldn’t want people she didn’t know at her wedding. A magazine had already approached her asking to profile the interiors of their house once it was completed, but she politely declined. Maybe she’d change her mind in the future, but she didn’t think so. “Rachel’s gonna put it up on her website. So is Mango – the photographers. I think that’s enough.”

“I think I’m gonna need a giant photo too to hang over my fireplace.”

“I think we should blow up this one instead,” Bee smiled, digging into her purse to retrieve the envelope she was planning to give to Angie this whole time.

Angie looked at her weirdly. She took the envelope from her, opening in slowly, only to reveal a photograph – perhaps the most important photograph: the first one they ever took together. It was in university, during a exam study session at E.J. Pratt Library. There was a stack of books beside both Bee and Angie. A girl they were friends with at the time had taken it, though they weren’t in touch now. “Oh my God,” Angie snorted as she inspected the photograph. “Look how awful my curls looked.”

“I still fell in love with you,” Bee winked.

Angie gave her another look. “So did Mason, surprisingly,” she quipped. “God, we were so young. We’re only eighteen here!”

“Remember how we stayed so late they kicked us out because they were closing?” Bee asked. Angie nodded her head. “Do you remember what you said to me after we packed up?”

Angie thought back. Bee watched as the gears in her head began to shift, and as the realization dawned on her, her brows furrowed. “I said ‘When I’m your maid of honour, I’m going to tell everyone the story of how I helped you pass this exam’,” she said.

Bee smiled. “So are you ready to do that or what?”

Angie pursed her lips to keep from crying, but when she looked at Bee, Bee could see a tear in her eye. “Obviously.”

***

“Hi my beautiful Isabella! Hi! Hi!” Bee smiled wide as she saw Isabella chilling in her Bumbo on the counter. “Are you happy to see Tia Bee?”

“BAH!” Isabella Tavares babbled happily, smiling. “Bah bah bah!”

“Bah bah bah!” Bee mimicked. “How’s my darling princess?”

“Darling princess is fine now that she’s burped,” Aryne smiled as she finished folding a dishtowel and lay it back on the counter. “Jace! Come say hi to Tia Bee!”

Bee heard the quick flutter of his steps as he ran to her from the family room. “Hi Tia Bee!” he screamed loudly, crashing into her legs and giving her a hug. Bee picked him up and held him in her arms as she kissed him dramatically all over his face, causing him to giggle profusely.

“How’s my prince doing?”

“Good.”

“What are you playing?”

“I play with my Lego.”

“What are you building?”

“I build a car.”

“Can you finish building your car and then show me?”

“Okay!” he said, wigging out of her arms and running back to his place on the carpet in the family room.

Bee turned back to Aryne, who was watching the whole encounter unfold. “What’s that in your hand?” Aryne asked.

“Oh, I got your mail for you,” Bee said absent-mindedly, handing her the envelope. “Just one thing in there.”

“Oh, thanks,” Aryne said as she began to tear it open. Bee looked on as she did, a small smile on her face. Like clockwork, Aryne’s eyes furrowed as she saw what was in the envelope: a card that had the first picture taken of them together, from a game at Scotiabank Arena. “What’s this?”

“Will you open it?”

Aryne flipped the card open on command, reading the words that Bee wrote. The more she read, the more her eyes began to well up with tears. “You want me to be your bridesmaid?”

“Of course I do,” Bee said softly. “I can’t imagine you not being up there with me, Aryne.”

Aryne began crying. She outstretched her arms as she walked around the island to hug Bee, squeezing her tightly. “I love you so much.”

***

“Oh…oh, Briony,” Shirley gasped as Bee walked out in the last dress. It was the first one they had chosen, but the last one Bee was trying on. From beside Shirley, Clarette put her hands over her mouth. “Briony, I…I’m speechless.”

“It’s looks good?” she asked nervously, patting down the delicate lace.

“It’s stunning,” Shirley nodded. “It’s perfect, sweetheart.”

“It’s the one,” Clarette said. “It’s so beautiful, mignonette. The lace is exquisite. The…the…everything.”

Bee turned to Angie, only to see her eyes red with tears. “What do you think?”

Angie shook her head, unable to find the words. She continued to shake her head until she could. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she said between sniffles. “Morgan’s gonna absolutely die.”

Bee turned around, looking at herself in the full-length mirror, most of the most important women in her life behind her. She saw the lace draped over her body and sprawling train behind her, delicate but elegant. The v-neck framed her chest and shoulders perfectly, the fabric draping over her hips. As she stared at herself, she pictured herself holding a bouquet. She pictured herself at the end of an aisle, a crowd of people standing in front of her. When the sales associate swooped in and placed a veil on her, the vision was complete. She pictured herself walking down the aisle. She pictured herself walking, making eye contact with the guests. She pictured Morgan at the top of the aisle staring back at her, smiling. She pictured Angie smiling. Aryne smiling.

“Is this the dress?” the sales associate asked.

Bee smiled. This is the dress.”

February 2023

“Hey Andy?”

“Yeah Bee?”

“Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Can…can you sit down?”

Andy stopped moving. He had been preparing a glass of water for himself, but he stopped as he looked at Bee and recognized how serious her tone was. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I just…I just want you to sit,” she repeated, going so far as to move the chair so he could follow her command.

He sat down slowly. “What’s going on?”

“Um. So listen,” she began nervously. “I know…you know…you know that I don’t have a dad – well I have a dad, I just don’t know my dad – and, well – I, uh, I – God, this isn’t coming out right at all,” she shook her head, her thoughts getting the best of her.

“Bee, calm down, it’s alright,” Andy said. “It’s just me.”

She nodded her head and took a deep breath. “You know how much I love you, and how much I appreciate you being there for me since the beginning of mine and Morgan’s relationship. And, well, I’m doing the father-daughter dance with Rocco during the reception, but I wanted you – I would love it if you could walk me down the aisle.”

“Oh, Bee…” Andy cooed, a giant smile overtaking his face. “Of course I’ll walk you down the aisle.”

“Really?”

“Are you kidding? Of course,” he repeated, reaching out to hug her. “I have two sons, Bee. I never thought I’d be able to get the opportunity. And now you’re able to give it to me.”

Saturday July 22 2023

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORGAN AND BEE’S WEDDING

“Be careful!”

“How do I get this thing off?”

“It’s delicate!”

“I know! I can’t get the – do I do the buttons or the zipper first?!”

“There’s only buttons, Morgan!” Bee exclaimed, giggling.

“Then what the hell is this?! What is – oh,” he stopped dramatically. “Oh, I gotta – okay – I – here we go,” he muttered as he began to unbutton the dress as quickly as his big thumb and drunken mind would let him. He knew he shouldn’t have had that last round of shots with Jake. “Jesus, how many buttons are there on this thing?!”

“It’s gotta stay on, doesn’t it?”

“NO! It’s gotta COME OFF!” he exclaimed, causing Bee to burst out into laughter. “It’s my wedding night, damnit! I WANNA HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE! HOT, STEAMY SEX!”

“Is that what we’re gonna do? I thought we were just gonna put on our pyjamas,” Bee looked behind her, winking.

Morgan gave her a death stare. “Don’t even joke about that, Bumblebee,” he finished unbuttoning her dress. “Now get out of this thing so I can fuck you, please.”

“You need to be patient,” she instructed in as stern a voice as she could muster. “This thing is thousands of dollars. I can’t just whip it off, step out of it, and leave it on the floor or chair.”

“You can, you just decide not to.”

“I won’t, because it cost almost ten thousand dollars and it’s the most sentimental piece of clothing I will ever have.”

Morgan grumbled as he collapsed on the bed, still in his shirt and pants. He began unbuttoning his shirt as he watched Bee slip out of the dress slowly, making sure she located its hanger on the curtain rod before she did so. At the sight of Bee standing with no bra and only white lace panties, Morgan could feel his cheeks flush. “White, Bumblebee?”

“Was I going to wear any other colour?”

“You’ve got a mouth on you tonight.”

“Guess I should put it to good use, huh?” she arched her brow.

Morgan’s eyebrows rose. “Mrs. Rielly…” he began, shaking his head. The feeling of calling her that would never get old, he thought quickly. “Now that you’ve pinned me down with marriage you think you can talk to me like that?”

“Oh, I’ll pin you down alright.”

Morgan stuffed his hand down his pants. To him, there was no point in waiting anymore. She was standing there looking like that and he was too much of an impatient drunk to care. “Get over here, baby. Get over here now.”

“Patience.”

“I have no patience. Get over here!”

Bee took her time. She wanted to tease him; make him wait. She wanted him to groan in frustration and whine in anger. It was working. His look of frustration and overall unhappiness with how slow she was going was apparent on his face. When she finally climbed onto the bed, he picked himself up from his annoyance and practically lunged towards her, wrapping an arm around her body and pulling her down with him, causing her to yelp in laughter. He began placing light butterfly kisses on her exposed skin, smiling at every giggle that escaped her mouth.

“I’m never gonna get tired of saying that,” Morgan mumbled against her skin.

“What? Get over here?” she giggled out.

“Noooo,” he chastised. “Mrs. Rielly. You’re finally Mrs. Rielly.”

“Finally,” she smiled. “I can’t believe it either. This is the best day of my life.”

“This is the best day of my life,” Morgan repeated. “Can’t believe I landed such a fox.”

“Can’t believe I landed such a hunk.”

Morgan smiled sheepishly as he finally kissed her on the lips, slow and sensual and all encompassing. “I love you so much, Briony Rielly.”

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btsybrkr · 4 years

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2020 Vision: What To Expect From The Next Decade (By Someone Who Has No Idea, Obviously.)

Happy New Year, all!! I had planned to do a little run-down last week of everything that happened in the 2010s, but instead succumbed to the existential struggle that comes with the week that follows Christmas Day, in which your time becomes largely swallowed up by asking yourself ‘what day is it?’ and ‘at what point am I supposed to stop living on a diet of alcohol and Quality Street?’. It’s festive purgatory, and you’re literally powerless to do anything other than sleep, eat, and moan that the shops are still playing Christmas music. That’s my excuse, anyway.

So, instead, I thought we’d say a collective “cinnabit, lad” to 2019 and a collective “what is UP, dude?” to the Roaring 20s 2.0, the only sequel that humanity has waited a whole 100 years for. Apart from Avatar 2, which I imagine will come out at some point in the 3020s. What do we know so far about what the 2020s have in store for us? Obviously, not a lot, but as someone who successfully predicted the outcome of the last election, and the UK’s last four Eurovision losses - two things which I’m sure absolutely nobody ever saw coming - I thought I’d give out my own valuable speculation. Here’s what the 2020s might look like, according to me.

Politics

Let’s get it out of the way - we’re in a terrible state. At this point, every important issue is so divisive, that the nation is divided over everything, including whether we’re actually divided or not. Do I think we’ll become any less divided in the coming years, in a United Kingdom where the conversation is so often dominated by things we can absolutely never seem to agree on? Yes. We will have no choice. Why?

All-out war.

Yes, I said it. In 2021, there will be all-out war. With America, probably. I don’t know why. Maybe Trump will get into an argument with Boris Johnson over who can manage to effortlessly look the most like a Viz caricature of themselves - they both already do somehow, I’m just saying they might disagree on which one of them is the best at it. Could be that, or possibly a more serious cause, to do with nuclear weapons or something, but I’d rather not think about that, because it’s not as funny as the Viz thing. And it’s more likely. So, we’ll pretend for now that we’re on the verge of the first pantomime, slapstick war the world has ever seen.

Anyway, while Trump and Johnson are beefing up a storm - picture Punch and Judy, except the puppets are in suits and have thinning, bright yellow hair - previously all-encompassing issues like Brexit will fall by the wayside, until Boris Johnson eventually decides to hand his notice in to focus on more important things, like beating Trump with a wooden spoon and chasing after the dog that stole all his sausages. After this, we’ll all come together to realise that if actual elected officials can’t do the job, then maybe we, the people, deserve our chance to test our political metal. Obviously, we can’t let just anybody have a go, but at the end of the year, Cosmopolitan magazine puts the traditional democratic process at number one on its ‘Leave It In 2021’ list, so we have absolutely no choice but to come up with something else, which brings me to...

Television And Film

2022 will start with a bang, with the debut of Simon Cowell’s new talent show format, So You Think You Can Be The Prime Minister?, hosted of course by Ant and Dec, with the aftershow on ITV2 being hosted by Jeremy Paxman. Contestants will line up in huge crowds to give judges Russell Brand, Susanna Reid, and, of course, Jesus S. Cowell himself (forgot to mention, Simon Cowell has been elected as the new Christ in this completely non-hypothetical universe, alright?) their opinions on hot political topics such as Brexit, the NHS, and, of course, whether a Jaffa Cake can really be classed as a biscuit or not. Each episode, contestants will take part in a live debate, themed around a different issue with every passing week. The two least popular contestants after the weekly phone vote will go head-to-head giving their own rendition of Running The World by Jarvis Cocker, with the worst performer being eliminated. I know a sing-off isn’t exactly relevant in a politics programme, but it’s Saturday night primetime so it’s still got to be at least somewhat entertaining, yeah?

Love Island will be back, of course - and not just with a Summer and Winter edition, but with an additional Spring and Autumn one for the 2024 schedule! This will be a win-win situation for the series producers, and for its viewers, as by 2027, ITV will run out of attractive under-35s to appear on the show, and members of the public will begin getting called up to appear - like with jury duty, except that ITV pay for you to have extensive cosmetic surgery first, so that you’re aesthetically pleasing enough for people to want to tune in, and so that you can maintain a successful career selling Bootea on Instagram afterwards.

Films will also go through a renaissance in the 2020s, as the Hollywood big boys come to a conclusion that everything has just become a little too… blockbuster. To remedy this, they make the joint decision that, 100 years on, we should take ourselves back to the silent film era, which will surely create hundreds of jobs for mute people, therefore solving Hollywood’s problems with a lack of diversity in film. It’ll also give well-known TikTok creators a chance to make the leap into mainstream entertainment, as they’ll have spent so long lip-synching over the years that they’ll now be more qualified to star in these new golden age pictures than actual trained actors. Obviously, that sounds absolutely beyond comprehension, but look at Count Orlok in 1922’s Nosferatu. See his slender limbs, blank stare, gothic dress sense - in a way, he’s the original e-boy, and there’s plenty of them out there on TikTok now that could play the titular vampire just as well in a 100th anniversary remake, just with less neck-biting and more lip-biting. Trust me, it’ll be a hit.

Technology

Throughout the 2010s, there’s been a lot of talk about everyone spending too much time on their bloody phones, so, in 2024, Apple will try to combat this issue when they unveil perhaps their most innovative product to date - the iPhone XZ+, a phone which exists solely in the mind of its users. Not in a Black Mirror, chip-inside-your-brain sort of way, either. It is literally imaginary. It’s a phone that, instead of being a phone, is actually just the concept of a phone. Yes, for the small cost of £1,500 and six units of your own soul, you, too, can block the rest of the world out. How amazing is that? No more wasting hours of your day keeping in touch with friends and family. No more accessing a wealth of information, wherever you are, with a quick Google. No more blocking out the sound of cackling pre-teens on the bus by putting in your earphones and listening to music. These things are bad and must be stopped, before we become an entire species of communicating, bopping, learning zombies.

I think those must be bad things anyway, since you can rarely go a few seconds scrolling through social media without stumbling across a ‘woke’ meme about how the use of smartphones is destroying us, one notification at a time - memes which I’m absolutely sure were created and posted from a book or a potato or something. Otherwise they’d just be hypocritical, wouldn’t they?

Anyway, the iPhone XZ+. It’s the only thing you need inside your head this decade. Apart from a very real ever-growing sense of fear and doom, which you can get for free.

Sport

The next decade will see the Olympics and Paralympics take place in 2020, 2024 and 2028, as well as the Winter equivalents to both in 2022 and 2026. You’d think we’d be all Olympic-ed out with that, but in the absence of anything else that gets people feeling remotely patriotic in a purely nice way, the world will decide to come together to throw scaled-down, low-budget Olympic games in all the off-years this decade.

Summer 2021 will see the start of the first ever Not-The-Actual-Olympics. Marked by a glamourous opening ceremony in a field in Loughborough, the opening will feature a series of performances from stars such as H from Steps, and will be attended by some people who aren’t the royal family, but really do look like them. Taking place over the 10-week long games will be thumb wars, arm wrestling, staring contests, and an exciting event in which competitors try to eat the most HobNobs they possibly can without the help of a glass of water to combat the extreme dry-mouth they end up with. It might sound underwhelming now, but if there turns out to be any truth in the other predictions I’ve made here, it might be just what you need to restore your faith in the everyday.

Happy New Year, Everyone

In all seriousness - not that the rest of this isn’t serious, because it is, and is definitely all going to happen - whatever the coming years bring, it’s important to remember that we have to take the good with the bad, to look after ourselves and each other, and to enjoy each day as much as we possibly can, even during the bits of life that leave us feeling a little less Gangnam Style than we did way back in 2012. Thanks, everyone, for reading my blog. I’ll be back again in a week or so to talk absolute arse about something else. Until then, I hope you all had a great 2019, and have an even better start to 2020. Cheers!

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emma-nation · 5 years

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Memory Fragments - KamilahxMC Fanfiction (Chapter 3 - Ending) *Debriefed Sequel*

Summary: Four years after the events of Debriefed. When a tragedy happens, Kamilah must face a second decision that will change her life forever.

Rating: T

Tag List: @begging-for-kamilah, @lulu-the-cat, @ilovekamilahsayeed

Notes:

- English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

- Your likes and reviews are always appreciated.

- Sorry for taking so long, I’m not in a writing mood right now and it took me while to finally feel inspired to finish this chapter.

- Since the first part of this story didn’t have any smut scenes, I decided to keep the pattern with this one. But, if you really want it, I may post an alternate version of this chapter that includes a love scene ;)

New York City - June 14, 2022

Amy had been walking around the city for hours. Everything had changed now she was a vampire. It was like living in a whole new world. With her advanced senses she could experience things in a level she wasn’t capable as mortal. Simple actions, like taking a breath or feeling the water against her skin were now felt intensely.

Tired, she sat on a bench at the Central Park. She wasn’t supposed to feel tired, one of the advantages of being a vampire, but she hadn’t adjusted yet. It was like her body was denying its new condition. Not even large amounts of blood were capable of making her satiated. She was thirsty and exhausted all the time, along with a feeling of emptiness that wouldn’t go away.

No Clan leaders were also capable of branding her, after trying with Adrian and Jax, she sought for Priya’s help. Like the others, her brand faded away seconds after being marked on her skin.

“Well, there’s still Lester and The Baron,” the female vampire lamented. “I’d go for The Baron first.”

Amy shook her head trying to forget her words. What kind of monster was she, if her body only accepted The Baron’s clan brand? Was it anything to do with her personality or her insatiable bloodlust? Did it make any sense at all? A tear was about to run through her cheek, when something caught her eye. A small light shining brighter than anything she had even seen. A firefly.

Amy instantly opened a smile, observing that gracious little creature flying through the air.

“You’re so tiny, fragile, but enchanting. Like a… little firefly.”

Kamilah’s words resounded inside her head again. She let out a deep sigh. It was like the Universe was constantly trying to remind her of her Maker.

In the last few days all she could think about was their argument before the accident.Amy could finally understand Kamilah’s point of view. Years before, all she had to do was wait a few days to confront the female vampire about her feelings. Instead, she ran straight to Adrian’s arms, omitting and ignoring everything that happened between them.

“God, I was so selfish,” Amy though.

For Kamilah, the pain of seeing them together became so unbearable she gave up on everything to move away. Even her company, Ahmanet Financial. The name suddenly triggered a flashback. Amy was able to see herself inside Kamilah’s office, right after graduating college.

“Bold decision, huh? But risky, for someone who has just been hired.” “I-I’m sorry… I…” “Differently from many, I like those qualities.” “Uhh… you do?” “Congratulations, Amy. Welcome to Ahmanet Financial.”

“What?!” Amy stood up from the bench and walked, headed to that luxurious building. The company that used to belong to Kamilah. It was still open for the night shift. At the reception, nobody could inform her if any Amy Parker had worked there, many years ago.

“B-But it must be here… somewhere…” Amy sat down at a couch, heavily frustrated. She needed to remember more. Most of all, she needed proof.

Minutes later, a woman came to meet her. For many years, she worked as Kamilah’s secretary.

“I remember you,” she told. “She not only hired you, but offered you an apartment in Manhattan and took you out for dinner.”

“And then?”

“She didn’t come to work in the following day but… when she returned, she only said you had failed and hired someone new. I’m sorry, this is all I have. You know how Ms. Sayeed can be… private about her life.”

Amy spent the rest of the night re-doing the steps the woman informed her. Nothing could trigger her brain to remember the rest of that memory. What could have gone so wrong, to the point Kamilah debriefed her for a third time? When she arrived at her apartment, Lily and Adrian were waiting for her.

“Amy, finally,” Adrian wrapped his arms around her protectively. “God, we were so worried…”

“I’m fine,” since she was Turned, couldn’t feel the same way about him anymore. She felt some kind of repulsion.

“Where were you?” Lily asked. “Adrian had his entire Clan looking for you.”

“I was searching for answers…” Amy’s eyes flared in anger. “Those flashbacks… They’re real! Did you know I was Kamilah’s assistant for one day, six years ago? I didn’t, because she erased it from my memory!”

Lily looked shocked, then she exchanged a glance with Adrian, who fell on the couch running a hand through his hair.

“Of course. That’s why she was so devastated when we started dating. If only she had told me…”

“What are you talking about? You knew that, Adrian? You also fooled me during all these years?!”

He handed her a book, explaining everything about debriefing. The hypnotic magic only worked for mortals and it was broken at the time of their death. What meant, that as a vampire, she’d regain all the debriefed memories.

In the middle of the book, he placed a ticket to San Francisco.

“Go after her, Amy. She’s the only one who can give you all the answers you want. Also, tell her I’m deeply sorry and that I hope there’s still a way to repair what I did.”

————–

San Francisco, California - June 16, 2022

Since her return, Kamilah was locked inside her apartment. She wouldn’t answer any phone calls or reply any emails. She didn’t want to be interrogated or judged. She wasn’t ready to face the consequences of her actions yet.

She knew Amy had survived and was doing well, apparently. Social Networks could be an useful source of information, Kamilah learned. On Amy’s page, there was a ton of messages and pictures from her friends, thankful for the miracle that saved her life. Amy later wrote a short post, thanking all of them. But what really caught Kamilah’s interest was the “engaged” status disappearing from her information. Anyways, it hadn’t been replaced with “single” yet. She rolled her eyes in frustration, refreshing the page one more time.

“Kami?!” Louise appeared behind her in a stealthy, silent move.

“What are you doing here, Louise?” She jumped out of her chair, quickly closing the tab on her browser. “H-How did you enter my apartment?!“

"You gave me an extra key, when you were out of the country. Remember?”

“Well, give it back. Now!”

After handing her the key, Louise crossed her arms and studied Kamilah’s face for a moment.

“Guilt,” she let out a chuckle, making Kamilah roll her eyes again. “You ruined the wedding, didn’t you?”

“Sort of,” Kamilah grunted. She hated how Louise had the ability of knowing her so well. She wondered if that was a result of their long-time friendship or if she truly had mind-reading skills.

“Let me guess. The sexual tension between you and Amy led to an argument, that eventually turned into angst sex, boosted by the bounding effects.”

“No, it started with a heated argument where Amy told me she never wanted to see me again. Then she went out on the streets insanely mad, what led to her getting hit by a bus and dying. So I had to Turn her.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t give me ‘oh’, Louise. I told you it was going to be a disaster. But not even a cynical like me could’ve predicted these catastrophic proportions.”

Louise remained silent, staring at her blankly.

“I mean… you turned your bound, Kamilah.”

“And?”

“Aren’t you aware of the effects of that?”

Effects. Kamilah had no idea about it so far. She was never able to learn much about bounding. Louise explained that, she not only should be the one to brand Amy, but the girl would need to drink some of her blood to complete her Turning process.

“Also, now your blood is running in her veins, bounding is stronger than ever. It’s like you’ve become one… isn’t it beautiful, Kami?!”

“Louise,” Kamilah sighed. “You know most of it was romanticized during the centuries. There’s no proof of what you’re telling me. Otherwise, Amy would be here right now, not in New York, engaged to Adrian.”

Somebody knocked at the door. Kamilah reluctantly got up and answered. She froze, seeing Amy was standing right at her door. The expression on her face was a confirmation of what she just told Louise. She looked furious.

“Amy,” she tried to appear calm, as the girl stormed inside her apartment. “What are you doing here?”

“First, I came here to beg you for a brand. My body won’t accept anybody else’s because you’re my Maker.”

“Oh no, it’s because she’s your b–” Louise emerged from Kamilah’s office, as soon as she heard what was going on. Kamilah censored her with a snarl. It wasn’t the right moment to tell Amy yet.

“Of course.”

Amy exposed her tight and she warmed up the amulet with a lighter to press it against her skin. After Clan Sayeed’s brand was marked on Amy’s skin, Kamilah pricked her finger, sealing it with her blood. The bounding sensation hit, passing though every inch of Kamilah’s body, at an intensity she never experienced before.

“Will it ever go away?” She heard Amy complaining to herself, confirming she was feeling the same sensations. She couldn't hide a smile.

According to Louise, there was one more thing she was supposed to do. With one of her daggers, she opened a gash in her palm, dripping some blood inside a cup.

“Drink it,” she offered Amy.

“It’s not part of the ritual. Lily never had to drink Adrian’s blood when she was Turned.”

“Each vampire is different, Amy. Without this, you’ll constantly feel weak and worn out. No blood will be able to satisfy your thirsty. Trust me.”

Amy grabbed the cup from her hand in a violent manner. She hesitated before drinking it, staring at the content and then back at Kamilah. Her look was powerful and intimidating.

“Trust you?” Amy let out a sarcastic laugh, then started walking around Kamilah in circles. “For years, you lied and hid your feelings from me, always making me feel guilty for choosing Adrian over you. Well, then I died. And you Turned me without my consent!”

“Oh please, would you rather to be dead? I gave you a new chance of living! To spend the rest of your life with the man you love.”

The girl went silent as she gazed Kamilah deeply in the eyes. Like if she was retrieving information straight from her soul.

“Oh I almost forgot,” the sarcastic tone in her voice wasn’t gone yet. “I believe I have something that belongs to you.”

She handed Kamilah a jacket. A jacket she dressed Amy many years ago in her office, when she was freezing to death. Although she had debriefing lessons from Jameson in the past, she never researched further about the practice. She had no idea about what would happen once the debriefed mortal became a vampire.

“Y-You remember.”

“Why, Kamilah?!” Amy shouted, shaking her head in denial. “Why did you erase my memories of you multiple times? Why do you have to be selfish like this? You only care about yourself!”

Caught by surprise, Kamilah didn’t answer. She couldn’t find words to explain her motivations. Not with Amy being angry as she was. The girl grabbed her arm, then she paralyzed. Her eyes went wide and unresponsive, like if she had been hypnotized.

“Amy?” Kamilah touched her shoulder gently. “What’s going on?”

She took a long moment to respond.

“You took me out for dinner… And after driving me home, we went to the building’s rooftop.”

“That’s right,” Kamilah answered. In the moment she felt so connected to Amy, she could almost relive that memory too.

“Can I ask you one question?” “Well, you’re not the kind that just give up, are you?” “What are you looking for, Kamilah?” “I…”

“Oh, you wanted it as much as I did,” the corners of Amy’s mouth curled up into a smile.

“Out of curiosity, what are we talking about?” Louise whispered to Kamilah.

“Get out of here,” Kamilah ordered, in a low voice.

The protégée walked headed to the front door, signaling Kamilah to call her later for details.

Kamilah turned her attention back to Amy. The smile disappeared from her face, she now looked tense and scared.

“My friends… I didn’t remember them before. Oh my god!” A single tear ran across her cheek. “A feral killed them but… you protected me. Then… you drove me to the bus station and…”

“I debriefed you. You resisted, you were determined to keep your memories this time.”

Amy came back to reality, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Her hands were shaking cold.

“Are you alright?” Kamilah asked, concerned. “Do you need a glass of water or…”

“No,” Amy grabbed her hand, preventing her from leaving the couch. “It was different this time, you… you left it up to me to decide if I wanted to come back or not. T-This is why I always felt I needed to come back to New York.”

“That was the right thing to do.”

“Kamilah, you didn’t want to do it this time, did you? You only erased my memories to protect me, from what happened to my friends and from… your world.”

“I guess it didn’t work very well in the end, huh? I mean, you returned and had to face it all again. In the end, you also became a vampire. You should’ve stayed away from me, Amy… You made the wrong choice.”

“Wrong? The only wrong choice here was you not telling me all of this before!”

Amy was right. If only she had told her before, maybe she wouldn’t have started dating Adrian. That was the perfect moment to tell her about her true motivations. Bounding.

“T-There’s a reason…” She stood up, ready to reveal the truth. But in a blink of an eye, Amy advanced in her direction, pressing her against the nearest wall and kissing her in a feverish mode. Showing all the desire she had been withholding during the last four years.

“Later,” Amy muttered, before nipping at her lower lip with her recently acquired fangs.

Kamilah placed a hand on her waist, pulling her even closer as their tongues played a dominance game.

“You’re quite strong for a newly Turned,” she commented as they parted.

“You think? Maybe I’ve only caught you off guard.”

“Let’s test it then.”

Using her advanced speed, Kamilah switched positions, pressing Amy against the wall.

“You were right…” she spoke, drawing a trail of kisses from Amy’s ears until her neck.

“Partially,” Amy smiled playfully, before tearing her clothes apart.

Without wasting no more time, Kamilah pushed her on the couch. Amy drew her for more kissing. At this point, stopping felt impossible. They couldn’t keep their mouths and hands off each other.

“Amy… wait…” Kamilah interrupted their making out session. “There’s something you need to know. It’s important.”

“Come on…” Amy complained. “Wasn’t there a fourth time, was it?”

“No, I swear. Have you ever heard about bounding?”

“Yes, Adrian mentioned it once, how much he wanted us to have it. It’s like a soulmate thing, isn’t it?”

“Okay then. You’re my bound, the idea terrified me so much I decided to erase your memories to keep you away from me.”

“Serious?! How can you be so sure?”

“Because of this…” Kamilah’s hand traveled all over her chest, triggering the electric sensation. “And this…” she caressed Amy’s tight, where her brand was imprinted. “Since I Turned you, I’m the only one allowed brand you.”

“Oh… and I suppose that’s the reason why I should do this…” Amy smirked before carefully taking her wrist to her fangs, drinking some blood. Her bite was gentle and delicate, not causing any pain, only pleasure.

“How do you feel now?” Kamilah asked when she finished.

“I feel great… powerful and… I feel like I want you, all of you.”

“Oh, do you?”

Grinning, Kamilah drove her to the bedroom, where they spent the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company. Before falling asleep, Amy murmured:

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kamilah tightened the grip around Amy’s waist, as if she was making sure she’d never go away again.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #bloodbound #kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bloodbound fanfiction

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