#want to question people's reasoning here
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Something I see a lot in talks about AI art is something I've seen about a lot of different kinds of art: a desire to have the product reflect skill and/or talent.
Like, it reminds me so very much of how some (usually older) people react to music software. It used to be that you'd have to go the long way and spend years learning the guitar; now just anybody can simulate that sound for you and clean it all up and make it perfect!
Of course, there are many provisos to that; not anybody can open up that sort of program and put together a great-sounding song. The people who make e.g. really classic Vocaloid songs are very skilled with the program and very talented r.e. music. (And perhaps that is or will be true for AI, too: that anybody can just create a picture, but someone very skilled with a particular program can make something very specific and good!)
But it's that initial impulse that just... bothers me, a little. Because, yes, of course I understand the fear that you devoted years of your life to a subject and now it can be generated by just anyone. But why turn it around and treat it as some sort of principled, purist stance? Why does someone HAVE to devote years of their life to something to make art?
It just feels a bit. Suffering romanticisey. Either that, or making art inaccessible to ordinary people. Like 'Artists' are some inherently different kind of person.
Of course we can still value the dedication that went into specific kinds of work. Maybe that's your favourite thing about art. But doesn't it open up art to so many different kinds of people when barriers are taken away? People who can't afford to slave away for years on it? People who for some sort of physical or mental or whatever reason just can't ever really be as good with the 'traditional' process?
Again: this is not really about AI art and whether it does offer those opportunities to people. This is about the initial reaction that letting ordinary people more easily create art is somehow bad, and takes some kind of soul out of the process. But people have different capabilities; what is easy for most people is very difficult for others. Why is making art impossible for some people so important? What is so much more 'real' about art that requires very special tools, or knowledge that is barred the masses? What are we losing by letting 'untalented' people overcome certain obstacles?
#same thing with autotune#my mum always hated it. if they need autotune they can't sing!!#but i always felt. some people maybe arent QUITE good enough singers#but have really interesting ideas for songs or singing#and id like to hear them!!!#also autotune became a thing not to hide imperfections#but to create a unique sound of its own#VERY quickly#i just.#want to question people's reasoning here#it may be that ai art is bad inherently. but we should dislike it for the right reasons
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#there is twitter discourse happening.#poll#to be fair the discourse in part appears to be a misunderstanding#of the correlation between how often u wash linens/clothes and how often u change them#because. apparently to some people having more than one set of sheets is unimaginable?????#thats not the question here though#this may vary based on the season? or any other reason#i thought my answer was pretty reasonable but there are ppl on twitter that r like#if ur not doing it every week ur nasty. and genuinely.... u think im gonna go thru the effort#of changing it every fucking week.......#genuinely not here to judge i think theres a lot of factors into when u change sheets#but i refuse to believe people are Actually doing it every week. i want to know the circumstances#i guess if u r sweaty or the weather is really bad or ur fucking every night idk.
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
#I thought about putting my comic patreon and kofi links on here but it felt wrong#I really want this post to just be for my audience!#just so you can feel a little seen and just learn a little more about me#I am NOT inviting invasive questions#this is NOT opening the door to discussion on ways it affects my life#this is me sharing a limited glimpse into a part of my personal life#the real pain that this has caused me is shit like my bfs mom telling him to break up with me over it#and people calling me slurs and whatever#I mean obviously the pain itself too but#yeah.#I dont want to talk about that trauma to my thousands of followers in a way they can reblog it and share it around#so#this is all just for you guys#I love you!#thank you for being here#it's the only reason I'm able to create#is because of the support people give me.#well. I mean actually cause of the support webtoon is giving me tbh#I do NOT make enough to quit yet#but the support from my audience keeps me going and makes all the shittiness of my job worth it#it reminds me that creating stories is worth it all#the physical and emotional pain!#so thank you for keeping me motivated and going
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Colin Morgan Thirst Poll
S5 Merlin
S1 Humans
S3 Humans
The Living and the Dead
The Fall
We Hunt Together
Benjamin
Belfast
Mammals
Testament of Youth
The Tempest
#yes i'm okay!! just answer the question#there's no wrong answer but jsyk I think it should be mammals. benjamin also allowed.#if you haven't seen the fall i want to point out they made him wear eyeliner in some scenes#for absolutely no reason at all. he played a cop.#but they went like... we need him to look se*xy. let's put some makeup on him. something subtle.#like they really thought people wouldn't notice#i just find it funny sorry#anyway. pls answer this.#colin morgan#polls#merlin#(yes leo elster is in here twice. is that a problem.)
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This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!
this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.
but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.
essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!
#this might be the most honest i've been lmao#i guess i've been thinking about it more after i posted a poll a while ago asking about something that happened in a story post#one of the options was ''i don't read your story i just wanted to click a button'' and so many people clicked that#not to be dramatic it just sort of feels like a gut punch when you realize that even the likes you DO get aren't all from readers#they're from people who want to click a button / show support / wish they had time to read but can't / etc#and like. of course!! i'm not a hypocrite - i like story posts without reading them too because we only have so much time in a day#but ever since then i've been trying to just say fuck it. i'm here for ME#i literally put my simself into my story because idgaf anymore. i've found my reason for writing and it isn't notes or engagement#those are awesome and i will always be grateful when i do get those things#but it's not my reason for being here anymore#lowkey i'm here because my story saved my life but that's not an easy thing to explain in an advice question fskjdsjd#asks#anonymous#nonsims#brandi answers
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Lovelessness and lack of any attraction making me realize that i don't understand any relationships in terms of love.
How do you know you're romantically interested in someone? how is that different than loving them in literally any other way? Hell, how do you know you love your friends? When do you even apply the label of friend? How do you decide you want to be someones friend even? What about family? we're just expected to love them from birth but why? How do you know you view someone as family? why are we expected to love people we just happen to be related to?
I dunno, I'm writing some friendships, found family, and just adopted family and biological family relationships and I'm realizing that I'm struggling with actually like...showing why characters "love" each other in these ways. What makes this character want to be a parental figure to another character? what makes this characters friends any more important than other people in their lives? I'm writing what society tells me but I don't actually think i understand any of it.
I can understand connection and characters enjoying each others company and caring about each other but when it gets to the love part? the part society demands there be for the relationship to be full and real and complete? I find myself lost every single time. shouldn't them caring for each other be enough? why do they need this confusing emotion for them to truely be friends or truely be family?
Why is the label of a "strong bond between people" locked behind the paywall that is the undefined idea of love? Why is love a requirement and not an option for these sorts of bonds? a bond without love doesn't mean you hate the person or dislike them even. it doesn't mean you're apathetic. it just means you don't love them.
I don't get why this word is so important. I don't get why it's expected.
#text#loveless#loveless aro#idk maybe it's because i look at these sorts of things in terms of logic#which emotions don't always follow#people always use love as an answer but i always question it#“they did it because they love them” why do they love them though#why is their love for them seen as so important#why should other characters care about that love#why did love make them do that#what is so special about the bond between these two characters compared to the bond they have with other characters#why is it different#and i guess most people don't have answers. why would they? it's just how they feel#that's usually enough for others but for some reason not for my brain#and i think it's just because i cannot grasp the idea of love as an emotion#especially not as a pure and good emotion#idk it's confusing#and probably my own fault#im not really looking for answers here because i dont think there is any#not any that would satisfy me at least#just wanted to express this feeling ig
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#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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In regards to the rarepair week, is it necessary for the mod/s to determine what's a rare ship and what's not for the event to happen? If it's just a general create-what-you-want ship week event then it might not be necessary to establish a list of what can and can't be created for. Like, not trying to knock you so absolutely do what you want!! But considering how many characters are in OP I think trying to figure out what does and doesn't constitute as a rarepair would just end up being so long and drawn out (for you) and so limiting (for creators) because a complete list is never gonna be possible
Yeye that's definitely fair! I just want to be thorough and at least get a feel for the more popular (?) ships in the fandom and see whether they're truly considered rarepairs or not. Like Croc/Doflamingo - some people might view it as a rarepair. I personally don't bc I see content for them pretty often. But that's my own personal bias; maybe the fandom sees it differently. Which is why I wanted to ask in the first place :") I definitely don't wanna limit people from creating what they want but I also want the event to be enjoyable for everyone, so someone making content for a ship and someone else going "Hey wait they're not a rarepair I see art/fics for these guys all the time :(" is the kind of situation I want to try avoiding if I can 🤔
I'm not gonna be super strict on limitations either way lol I mean at the very least the REALLY obvious popular ships (i.e. Zosan, Lulaw, Zolu, etc) are off the list already. I'm done posting polls too so the potential candidate list was pretty short to begin with. But yeah no I promise this isn't gonna end in me yelling at people for including ships that aren't considered rarepairs. I'll probably just provide a list for people to go off of with ships divided into categories of "please don't make content for these bc they're everywhere and this event ain't about them" and "fandom doesn't consider them a rarepair, but if you do and you wanna make content for them anyway you can absolutely go for it".
I want people to have fun and do what they want first and foremost!! Any guidelines/rules will be super laid back. I just want people to be able to have fun exploring all the rarepairs the series has to offer rather than just going straight to the ships that are more "mainstream", even if they ARE considered a more uncommon ship. Hopefully that makes sense and I don't sound like an idiot lmao
#Shima answers questions#I prommy this isn't me lining people up to be executed if they draw a more 'popular' ship LOL#DO WHAT YOU WANT!! ...Within reason!!#Idc what people make as long as it's not OBVIOUSLY a fandom fave like Lawlu or Zosan#We're here to celebrate the girlies that never see the sunlight. That have maybe 50 fics in the tag#That are under the bed collecting DUST bc people don't realize they're there#Like Lawlusan *stares dreamily into the sunset*#Anyway yeah just want to get a feel for what is considered TOO popular for this event. Y'know?#We gotta give all the really rare ships a fightin chance
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Maybe (probably) there is something I am missing, but when it comes to AI scraping of AO3 and Tumblr and etc.... what. Marketable use. Do they have for that data? Yes. Here is some text where, among other things, I erotically describe blood drinking and a copyrighted character's dick. Seems like that's going to be more bane than boon to you.
#i get people not wanting their stuff to be thrown into the pulp for a whole host of reasons#the question is what USE is all this?#turn the whole Internet in beige unusuable innacurate unreliable sameness? cuz that's the endpoint im seeing from here
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Do you think Jyn and Maarva would like each other?
tl;dr: no <3
I don't think Jyn would get along with maarva as she is a source of Cassian's issues with self-worth and guilt, similar to how Saw is a source for her fear of abandonment. Maarva doesn't even like her own son so who knows who's good enough for her lol.
a long rant below the cut
Jyn being someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be adopted and re-abandoned, her seeing Cassian's mother be consistently disappointed in her drugged n kidnapped adopted son is a whole other level of fucked up parental issues. Maarva opting to be with her her town instead of Cassian in her last days and also disbanding his actual family, it would be very difficult for someone like Jyn to see past these actions.
There's also no real justification for Maarva's treatment of Cassian (because he doesn't do his capitalist ferrix job? because he brings girls home? because he still lives with her even though he takes care of her?). AND even after her death, the last thing she wants him to remember was “hey, you’re a big fuck up, but that’s okay <3”.
Maarva has done nothing but live her life from her fuckass couch and yet had the audacity to tell Cassian that he needs to stand up, that he needs to rebel or get a job. Even after when he fought back and went to child prison after seeing his adopted father hanged. So not only did you get ripped away from your parents, but also the person that supposedly chose you felt like they got more than they bargained for, Cassian therefore feeling ultimately undesired by both the biological and adopted family.
But being a parent is complicated, is she at fault?
Compare it to Saw abandoning Jyn. When Jyn grew older he was forced to choose between his daughter and his life's mission. Abandoning her is, without argument, fucked up. While it created irreparable damage, we can understand why he did it. Not only was it traumatizing for Jyn, but it was THE ultimate sacrifice he was making from himself. The thing that shifts some blame away is that it gutted him to do this, and he did it from a place making sure she was safe and alive.
So with this in mind, what is Maarva’s sacrifice in being constantly disappointed in your adopted son because he isn’t like everyone else? What does she gain when she tells him to forget about Kenari, that there’s nothing left? Imagine being adopted, being told as an adult that, no, you can’t be looking for your biological family and that they’re nothing now, and that even trying is useless. The only thing I can see is that she just wants Cassian to fit her image of an ideal Ferrix citizen, which isn't amazing and isn't enough to justify her actions.
Moreover, as someone who has lost a parent, the last moments you have with them hold a permanent memory that weigh differently than everything else, and imo require its own sort of grief. On Maarva's last days, she made him leave without her, even when she knew she was going to die by not taking her meds. She would rather spend her last days being memorialized as a hero on Ferrix than being with her only son. And at the end of your days, you want to go home. You want to be with family for as long as possible. For Maarva, home was Ferrix and everyone else there, not Cassian.
So Maarva sucks because she was a terrible mother at the benefit of literally nothing. Where Saw was the insurgent leader of the extremist cell that made major attacks against the empire; and not the best father largely because of his life's work but also still wanting to do his best to keep his daughter safe. But look who gets more villainized than anybody else and who is more celebrated as a hero?
On a tangent now, I believe Jyn and Maarva would be comparable to Cassian and Saw's relationship: you don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside meeting the [person you care about]'s greatest source of trauma.
All that Cassian knows about him is that he adopted her, then abandoned her. Upon seeing him on Jedha he almost draws a gun to protect Jyn (doing that before THE guy, THE supposed terrorist and Empire's most wanted, mind you), unsure where their relationship stands. Saw of course, would protect his daughter in turn, not knowing who this guy is.
I would believe Jyn would see Maarva in a similar light on a dramatically smaller scale. That "I hate my MIL and our interests are only mutually aligned around what's best for Cassian", but of course what that means is totally different things. Maarva sees Cassian and believes he needs to change. Even when she’s fucking dead he still needs for things to come together in order to be unstoppable, or whatever vision she had in mind for him and that him on his own is not enough.
And so the rest of this is how I interpret the implications for Rogue One: that the lessons both Jyn and Cassian took from their adopted parents can be mutually shattered as they see each other for who they are and not what they've been molded to believe.
As we know with Jyn, she has a complex moral code. When she sees a stormtrooper she feels the reflex to kill. When she sees a war-torn child, her reaction is to risk her own life to save innocents. And this is what she continues to do when she meets Cassian. She has every reason to shoot him and steal his ship. But on Jedha, seeing him agreeing with her that she was perhaps worth saving after her deed of saving the child, she sees him in return when he shoots the partisan. They see each other for their actions, for the better parts of each other, despite their words and even their own personal doubts. Jyn continues to risk her life for him over and over again and vice versa. She doesn’t want to change him at all and she inspires him to fight in ways he perhaps has forgotten or never knew was possible.
In fact, the reason she’s angry with him on Eadu is because he lied to her. Revealing the intention to kill someone’s dad easily put your anger in the right, but while she is mixed up with grief, the bigger part of her knows he was incapable of doing it and doesn’t revel in the fact of who he could’ve been if he killed her father or even combined with terrible things he's done, but just sees the present man that didn't and instead came back for her. Even Cassian is thinking how she was going to kill him for it, when he hadn’t even committed the crime. He’s caught up with the impression and perception of the kind of man he is, the narrative that he’s been fed his whole life that he’s committed atrocities that deem him unworthy.
Jyn and Cassian offer each other a break from narratives and reputations that they've tried to sound out their whole lives. And although both characters have a lot of integrity, being told the same thing over again through life lessons, you begin to believe it yourself. It's where we meet the two of them at their lowest points. That for Jyn, she wasn't someone worth returning to, that there isn't hope amongst war. And for Cassian, that he's not a good person for things he's done, that war is endless, and he has to follow orders or do things for others in order to belong. As the events of Rogue One unfold, we can see how they come to understand each other. They create a bond by feeling seen for the first time.
IN SUMMARY:
Maarva is like the exact opposite of Saw Gerrera in all the worst fucking ways, I tell you. Instead of being family friends with and saving the child that he later abandons, she kidnaps the child away from their actual family and then holds them hostage on her planet to force-assimilate and take care of her in her old age. And instead of actively rebelling through extremist insurgencies, she sits around and berates her son to go be a rebel, and yet disappointed that he doesn't have a job or doesn't do what everybody else does(?).
Jyn would hate that bitch like. Every Life Day would be an ordeal. The irony of how she fucking dies doing nothing when Saw Gerrera is barely held together by oxygen tubes and yet outlives this couch potato. Andors versus Erso-Gerreras it's first-planet problems versus outer rim problems. Yeah they're both traumatic but the biggest difference is one of these is entirely avoidable if you just weren't a piece of shit.
#maarva is neither an activist nor a good mother#she is a neoliberal that really likes her capitalist town and they like her for some reason#jyn actually punches every neolib she meets#imagine telling people to go fight with their lives when you literally just died from old age 💀#I'd throw a tomato at that hologram#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE#when she fucking chloroformed him and everyone was like ooooh the layers 💀#media literacy is actually dead#what the fuck is even the point of your anti-fascism if it's not anti-racist#i don't want it if that's the case#don't even want to look at it its pointless its an oxymoron#saw gerrera did nothing wrong actually#of course there's rebelcaptain in here#anon asks#thanks for the question i finally learned how to turn these back on#anti maarva andor
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I'm... kind of confused about this? Like Ignatz is basically saying the only way for people to move forward is by continuing to fight and destroy? That's a pretty awful message in general, but coming from Ignatz it just feels weird. It sounds like he's just accepted war and that it's just... something that happens so we should shrug it off and move on?
I know this game tends to have very strong pro-war/pro-invasion messages which is already really gross to me, but it went from being annoying and icky to just making me feel disgusted. Also, Ignatz of all people shouldn't just shrug his shoulders and be like well that's just the way of things, I guess! There's an active war going on so it makes sense that towns could be rebuilt and destroyed again. It doesn't mean just give up on it.
Also really doesn't feel like an Ignatz thing to say.
#DCB Three Hopes Run#I'll be honest I have very low opinions of people when I see them say shit like#Edelgard is in the right and it she was justified to invade territories#if there was provocation/she was attacked by another territory first I'd get it#but I can't sympathize with the concept in general of attacking another nation that has nothing to do with you#it feels absolutely disgusting and seeing people actually DEFEND that is extremely concerning about their real life values#especially when she's very open about how the purpose of it is conquest and not actually the Church#and no nobody can use the Faerghus sheltering refugees as an excuse bc she attacks them in both games#and they didn't shelter the Church at all outside CF. in Hopes it's just a reason the writers needed to be able to#make it so the game had a similar story to Houses and to give a reason so the war still happened#Faerghus was quite literally minding its own business and growing at an astoundingly fast pace#and suddenly they have to decide whose side to take in a war? they didn't want to go to war but they were forced#and Ignatz here basically shrugging his shoulders figuring it's just a way of life to be at war is... not a good message#people who initiate war do it for their own political and territorial gain and that's true of this story too#it's not a question of whether or not it was Edelgard's goal bc she just outright SAYS it is#like... she's not hiding it? she's not trying to dodge the fact? and like again you can like her character as a fictional character#but it would be like if I said I love Ashnard and bc of that I agreed with his goals ideals and values and that#he was justified in attacking Crimea and torturing laguz. he's a really cool character and I love what he brings to the story#but there's a fine line between finding a fictional character interesting/fascinating#and outright defending their actions and basically saying conquest is okay as long as you tell people it's for another reason#i.e. Edelgard gave the propaganda about ''for the people'' but that wasn't her goal. if it WAS#she'd be contacting Dimitri in those two years like hey I see you guys are making strides in your politics mind giving us some advice#if her goal was for the people she would've spent those two years for the people and fixing shit not preparing for war#it just... really leaves a sick feeling for me that people legitimately believe her violence is justified and that here Ignatz is basically#saying that war is just a thing we all should just accept. like... how is war the only way for humans to move forward???#the one good thing Twitter does is that it tries to at least give sympathies to attacked nations#if this game was real you'd be seeing ''Faerghus attacked'' ''Faerghus invaded'' ''pray for Faerghus'' all over Twitter lmao#like if this was never a fictional story and if it was just real life there would have been only support on social media
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inquisitors killed my dog
Do you want, like, a receipt or something?
#i don't know what you want from me here dude (nb)#was the dog working against the final empire? was it skaa?#look inquisitors kill people and animals and doors for lots of reasons#🪓 me a question#steel inquisitors 🪓🪓#mistborn#animal death
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I hate going to Christian-based hospitals. There's a bible verse slide show on the screens that other places usually have medical information graphics and resources on and I just got asked "Do you have a source of peace in your life?" like babygirl I'm here for neurological pain my source of peace is Lidocaine 4% and a heating pad
#The nurse was definitely lgbt because he came back and asked me for my pronouns when I know good and well that's not in the system here#We talked about his cool ass crocs and he was like 'yea I know they're weird questions but I'm required to ask'#Cause they're all like 'do you have a source of peace and joy' and 'do you have a spiritual reason not to partake in any medications here?'#which is nice in concept like wanting to avoid pork-based or gelatin-based products#and things like that#but when it's paired with all of the bible verses and 'extending the healing ministry of christ' being the hospital's slogan#well.....#all of the screens are verses about joy as if this isn't one of the most miserable places to be#they're unfortunately one of the few places in my area tho that treat CFS/ME 😔✌️#It's probably very nice for older people here fighting for their lives#and I understand/respect that#but I've got a therapy appointment after this and I'm gonna go Off#I just realized how tense I got about this Im actively trying to relax my body#my blood pressure was 140/93 sitting and 148/91 standing#which is Not Good#this entire hospital sets off my fight or flight#they're infamously known in my area not to treat transgender patients with respect#both as a community thing and from people talking to me individually#I went on a long tangent about my gender but it was just rambling lol#anyways be gay do crime don't go to christian based hospitals if you can help it#ex christian#religious trauma
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ventposting with a character url is so funny like she would not be saying all that
#i guess it's also because of this particular fandom#bc i associate it so strongly with my friends/writing/blog & most of the cool fun things that have happened to me/that i have accomplished#which are i guess like. the good parts of me?#that like writing for it/thinking about it/having a fandom url for it when im treating the people around me so horribly#makes me feel like. idk. a little bit sad and a lot bit sick#like i'm ruining the last good part of myself#which is insane because it's a not-that-great podcast from 2020 it's literally not that deep but 2 me it's always been more abt the ppl#like. i dont know. i hope i haven't ruined this place yet. i hope i haven't hurt the people here as much as i've hurt others. i hope#(and this is going to sound stupid because the people in question will probably read this entry but it's true)#that the people here still have reason to like me.#even though i don't really deserve it#i guess i just want there to be some place in the world where i can pretend not to be selfish and cruel and sinful and pathetic#a chronic liar a worse procrastinator a corny writer a terrible friend a worse student/employee/whatever#which is of course undermined by the fact i am writing this on this blog! online! publically! instead of in a diary no one will ever see#but i feel like my blogs have always sort of been an extension of myself? more now that i have my irls/name/face on here and the whole#I Prommy I Won't Ditch This Friend Group This Time(community note: she is going to ditch the friend group as soon as it becomes inconvenien#sometimes it feels more real than my actual body that exists in the world#so i guess if i put it down here it makes it. like. real right? like it makes it carry a little bit of weight that spiralling doesn't#whatever. this is going to make me unemployable for the rest of forever LOL#also the autocompleted tags r going to jumpscare me forever#sorry i couldn't tell any of you this to your faces btw and had to like. myspace 2008 vaguepost it#what can i say i just love to yap
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