Chapter 1 of Wen Ning Gets a Life is up!

OK, I looked at the poll results and it seems like the consensus is "just fucking post it," so without further ado: Chapter 1 of Wen Ning Gets a Life is up. Let's get that fierce corpse (disappointingly) laid! (You will need an AO3 account to read it.)

Title: Wen Ning Gets a Life

Rating: E

Pairings: Wen Ning/Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian/Wen Ning, Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian (background)

Summary:

Sometime after the events of the novel, Wen Ning receives a series of good surprises: 1. Wen Qing is alive. 2. She has a plan to make him alive, too. 3. That plan involves sex with Wei Wuxian, his best friend and long-time crush. (And Lan Wangji.) Unfortunately, nothing has ever gone according to plan in Wen Ning's entire life, and it looks like his unlife won't be any different—especially once Jiang Cheng gets involved.

kiss your boyfriend’s husband. now.

he'll keep watch

Best ship dynamic is ‘power couple whose love transcends all boundaries and is deeply intertwined with the story’ and their ‘fave little guy (g/n)’

Handy infographics for wangxian feat. whoever you want to put in there. Rubbing my polyamorous hands all over them.

I THINK this must be the three most common ones. Who else do people put in there?

I am not a photoshop professional. This is obvious. However I must spread my agendas.

Wangningxian Fake Dating where they all three are... idk, spies maybe? Taking down Wen Ruohan's evil empire from the inside? It doesn't really matter.

What matters is that one night Wen Ning and Lan Wangji get caught Suspiciously Close to the entrance to the Extremely Off Limits Secret Dungeon/Library/Mad Science Lab/Whatever and, in a moment of absolute static-brained white-noise panic, Wen Ning just kind of--

Pins Lan Wangji to a wall and kisses him?

Oh, haha, Wen Chao, didn't see you there! As you can see I'm sneaking around to have an illicit affair with my secret lover, no acts of spying or subterfuge going on here! Just so good old unfaithfulness! Ahahaha...

So obviously they need to tell Wei Wuxian. And then it turns out that "Wei Wuxian's boyfriend is hooking up with his best friend behind his back" is an Excellent cover story and explains Wen Ning and Lan Wangji doing all sorts of otherwise too-risky-for-their-cover things, so the two have to. Keep kissing in dark hallways.

At first WWX thinks its hilarious and is having a ton of fun getting fake offended whenever anyone tries to tell him he's being cheated on. How dare you!! As if Lan Zhan would ever be unfaithful! As if Wen Ning would ever do something like that!

(Wei Wuxian's reputation for being oblivious and kind of delusional Also comes in handy for the mission, but it's also just a blast getting to fight with people over how wonderful his boys are.)

At some point Wei Wuxian does end up "catching" them in the act and he and Wen Ning stage this whole ridiculous (extremely homoerotic and UST-filled) fight over which of them gets to have Lan Wangji. In the wake of it Wen Ning is dabbing blood from his lips like "You know there's such a thing as being too committed to the bit, right?" and Wei Wuxian, who got to feel All Up on Wen Ning, is just like "I disagree."

(There is of course also the potential for a ton of angst where they all struggle with wondering where they stand with each other and what this means for their relationships and where the line is between acting for the job and actually being unfaithful but I don't have angst brain right now so you'll have to imagine that part yourself)

wangningxian dgaf

more doodle archiving, original under the cut

Wen Ning is a kindergarten teacher and hobby gardener who has two impossible crushes that he’s trying to get over but just can’t seem to let go of, even knowing both men are married.

Lan Zhan is the sexy (and scary) father of one of Wen Ning’s students, little a-Yuan. He comes to the school fifteen minutes early every day and stands outside his car, waiting for pick-up. Wen Ning gets it! A-Yuan explained that he lives close to the school. It would probably be pretty frustrating, driving home from work and then not ten minutes later having to get up and drive to the school again. And being cooped up at your desk and then being cooped up in your car sounds awful! Of course Lan Zhan wants to stretch his legs while he waits for his son! Just. It’s. It’s a little distracting, glancing out the window and seeing him standing there, looking like that.

(Lan Zhan is actually hoping to catch a glimpse of a-Yuan’s cute teacher. The man is so big and so gentle, he’s wonderful with his students. A-Yuan absolutely adores him. He’s soft-spoken and a bit timid and it contrasts gorgeously with his broad shoulders and the layer of appealing softness that does nothing to hide the strength in his arms and back. Lan Zhan wants to bite him. His husband Wei Ying teases him endlessly for his crush.)

Wei Ying helps to run the city’s Public Garden and owns the plant nursery downtown, both of which Wen Ning visits frequently. He’s extremely knowledgeable and intimidatingly smart -- not just about gardening and horticulture but about seemingly every topic under the sun -- and he’s funny and so, so nice and Wen Ning wouldn’t ever presume to bother someone like that with his awkward self but every time they bump into each other at the public garden Wei Ying comes jogging over with his ponytail bouncing and dirt on his face, grinning his cheshire-cat grin, and Wen Ning can’t talk to him because he’s too pretty but Wei Ying never seems to mind.

(Wei Ying didn’t notice the similarities between his incessant pestering of Lan Zhan in highschool and his incessant pestering of the hot gardener until Jiang Cheng rudely put him on blast for it in the family group chat. Wei Ying might have been babbling for weeks by then about the sweet man with big dark eyes and the bigger biceps who oh-so-earnestly listened to Wei Ying’s rant about plants that attract native pollinators without interrupting and then immediately added a bunch to his plot at the local community garden and blushed very pink when Wei Ying pointed it out but -- look, Wei Ying is only human, and he can only handle so much pure concentrated adorable straight to the face before he needs to scream about it. Lan Zhan is amused, but mostly he’s using Wei Ying’s crush to fuel his possessiveness. As a result, they fuck like newlyweds.) 

Eventually Wen Ning figures out they’re married to each other and while he already knew his crush was hopeless now he starts to feel actually really bad about it. He vows to keep his distance until he can stop treating them both so shamelessly!

At the same time Wangxian figure out that they’re both crushing on the same guy and pretty much immediately decide that maybe they would be open to polyamory after all, but they have to proceed carefully. This is a-Yuan’s teacher, after all, and Wen Ning is so sweet -- they don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable!

Many a misunderstanding follow, with Wen Ning first thinking he’s being propositioned for an affair, and then just as quickly deciding that he’s being shameless and seeing what he wants to see., because obviously neither of them would ever want him. For one, they’re both way out of his league, and for two, they’re very much in love with each other. He’s the one deluding himself into -- what? Fantasizing about being a homewrecker? Honestly, Wen Ning ends up feeling… very not good about himself. He doesn’t like to think that he’s that kind of person.

It’s a-Yuan who finally ends up coming outright and asking Wen Ning if he’ll be a-Yuans third dad because his first two dads clearly want him to and a-Yuan also loves him a lot.

People who mainly ship side couples in any mxtx novel are interesting and a little delusional (me included) cause when you stick to the side of people who will write full on essays on that couple and make it so you think damn mxtx might as well have made them canon

And then you leave that bubble and actually read the novels and figure out that 70% of them had like one major scene alone together and rest was just crumbs that the shippers put a magnifying glass over, and that said crumbs are burnt cause they always end so so badly...

“Ohhh poor Wen Ning’s so sad he always has to watch wangxian in action” have some fucking creativity, Wen Ning literally called me last night and told me how much he loves to watch his two boyfriends get along while twirling the phone cord and kicking his feet

the thing about wen ning being a fierce corpse is that it opens up some really interesting options for wangningxian sex. the two that i cannot stop thinking about are:

wn's body no longer functions like a living human body -- we know this. but if he is unable to feel pleasure, then stone-voyeur!wn comes into play. maybe he tells one or both of them what to do, or maybe he just watches these two beautiful people moving together. either way, very fun dynamic to play with.

wn's bodily function is tied directly to wwx's cultivation -- yeahhhh, think about it for like ten seconds and the possibilities spiral out like a kaleidoscope

waiting (when the colors come) by frostferox

waiting (when the colors come)

by frostferox

G, 2k, Wangningxian

Summary: It's hot, and Wen Ning keeps opening the fridge every few minutes, hoping some sort of sweet treat will have magically appeared since the last time he peeked in. The one where Wen Ning gets his wish, though not exactly how he'd have imagined.

Kay's comments: A very cute, short story of Wen Ning being asked out by Wangxian! Very adorable! And of course, Wen Ning and Lan Zhan immediately team up to bully poor Wei Ying.

Excerpt: Wen Ning accepts all three spoons with deep amusement, watching as Wei Ying's hands flutter in the air. "I!" Wei Ying starts. "We! You!" Wen Ning nods. "Yes, we're enjoying this show," Wen Ning says earnestly. "Thank you both for coming over. Wei Ying's discomfort radiates from him as he twists his fingers; Wen Ning takes pity and gives him a spoon back to fidget with. Wei Ying takes it as if it's a lifeline.

modern setting, modern no powers, wangningxian, domesticity, friendship, relationship negotioation, getting together, pov wen ning, first dates, soft

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

MDZS but make it Lupin III

When people write wangningxian that’s focused around Wen Ning…. It’s SO… kicks my feet 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

"Haha third wheel Wen Ning he's so awkward and uncomfortable forced to be near Wangxian all the time poor Wen Ning he has to watch Wangxian be all lovey-dovey he must hate it" you fools. You absolute cowards. Wen Ning is a voyeur.

3zun - Do A and B have a stronger bond with each other? Or do C and B or C and A have a stronger bond? Or are A, B, and C close together [equally]? and wangningxian Who can be trusted to be left home alone?

Hello I am back 400 years later with THOTS

3zun

Listen, unfortunately we all know that in canonverse this is a very teetery tripod. Nielan go into it thinking they have the most solid leg and don't notice the cracks. Nieyao is a bundle of splinters held together with duct tape and wire. Xiyao I think actually winds up being the most solid leg until Nie Huaisang takes a hacksaw to it. It's just a mess.

In a modern AU they're honestly all very solid, even if they're each looking at the leg they're not a part of going "dunno how the fuck it works, but it does."

Wangningxian

Lan Wangji and Wen Ning, left to their own devices, will enjoy a quiet afternoon of reading, handcrafts, or other parallel play.

Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian, left unsupervised, will undertake Experiments of some kind, often flammable or hazardous.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, left home alone, will also undertake Experiments, but the sex kind. These may still be flammable or hazardous.