#beatrice/betrand/lemony
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Okay, I've told myself I'll write a fic about this for a long time, but I don't think it's going to happen, so let's write about it here instead.
Consider: aroace Betrand Baudelaire. Specifically, consider aroace Bertrand Baudelaire along with Violet Snicket.
A Bertrand whose best friend was always Beatrice. She understood him as he was and loved him like no one else. A Bertrand who spent his whole life thinking about how lovely it would be to live with one of his friends, but knew it would never happen because they were all very alloromantic and weren't going to want that with him.
And then one day, Beatrice shows up at his door, crying. He knows what happened between her and Lemony; how she still loved him, but had to end it for enough reasons to fill a 200 page book. He knows that Lemony is now on the lam and has faked his death. So he thinks he knows what's wrong. It's that she is still mourning her relationship with Lemony.
And then Beatrice tells him that she's pregnant. She doesn't know what to do. She wants to keep the baby, but Lemony's situation is not one that would allow him to be a father. That's why she broke up with him. His circumstances are too complicated for anyone to be involved with him, especially an innocent infant. Even if Lemony isn't involved, everyone will know who the child's father is. It's obvious.
So Bertrand proposes a solution: he will marry Beatrice and act as the child's father. Beatrice gladly agrees. She has always loved Bertrand. She has always clung to Bertrand. Lemony has always been her love, but Bertrand has always been her rock, her comfort, her sanity. And after the way everything went down with Lemony, she would be more than happy to never have a romantic relationship again. Bertrand is sweet. He's smart. He is kind and gentle. He'd make a loving father. It was never the future Beatrice pictured for herself, but it isn't hard to say yes.
At first, everyone is still suspicious of the child's paternity. They know how recently Beatrice was together with Lemony, and they know Bertrand was never one to have sex. But within a few years, Beatrice is pregnant again, and there's no sign of Lemony anywhere. Clearly Bertrand is at least willing to have sex for procreation. By the time Sunny is born a decade later, no one questions their marriage.
Their marriage is real and beautiful. They enjoy raising their 3 children. They spend every day in each other's company. It is, in effect, a queerplatonic relationship. Beatrice often wonders what could have been if Lemony's circumstances were different, because how could she not, but she never regrets a thing. She is happy this way. No doubt happier than she ever could have been with a man as troubled as Lemony, even with how much she loved him.
I don't know if Violet and Klaus notice that there's something different about their parents' relationship when they're still alive. To them, this is what marriage has always looked like. Their parents are close and they love each other; that's more than can be said of some of their friends' parents.
I do think that when the books come out and they see Lemony's dedications to Beatrice, some things click into place. Their father loved their mother, but not quite like that.
I'm not sure when Lemony caught on, but I have to imagine he is respectful of it all, even if very saddened. Bertrand was always a good colleague and a good man. If Lemony's downfall was what it took for Bertrand to get the kind of relationship he always wanted, perhaps it was for the best. Bertrand would certainly be a better father to his child than messy, unpredictable Lemony, whose passion had always been his downfall. Lemony would have much preferred to be with Beatrice and raise his own child, but clearly things are better this way.
Anyway. Perhaps one day I'll write the fic. If any of you want to beat me to it, please go ahead. But that's the headcanon I've had for quite a while. I've always liked the takes on the Sugar Bowl Generation where Bertrand is Beatrice's best friend first and foremost, and this is really just an extension of that. But I love this theory so much that I'm still not entirely convinced I didn't steal it from someone else (although I've never seen anyone else say it, so I don't think I did).
#bertrand baudelaire#beatrice baudelaire#violet snicket#lemony snicket#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#snicketverse#aroace headcanons#aro headcanon#ace headcanons#queerplatonic headcanons#qpr headcanon
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unexpected unpopular opinion time.
i prefer the asoue movie take on the spyglass. as much as i love the design of the netflix's show and how it as so many functions (code-breaking, creating fires...)...
i personally feel vfd would want volunteers to use a solid brass spyglass. vfd, at least how i view them, would want volunteers to be on the less conspicuous side.
and in a sub-unpopular opinion, i think only certain volunteers would get spyglasses, depending on their field/occupation/stolen it/got it gifted from those with a spyglass and want to pass it on.
like monty and widdershins. i can see them having a spyglass due to their field/occupation. monty need one for his travels and expeditions. widdershins i headcanon he got his as a gift, but being a nautical volunteer, it would have been mandatory for him to get one.
lemony and kit and beatrice and olaf? i can see them with, but they stole it and won't explain how and they make sure to not show it around those who will take it away from them.
josephine and ike and r and hector? i can see them with, but only because someone gifted it to them. they don't use it unless they're out on open water, or they want to look out in the distance.
esme and jacques and betrand? i can't picture them with one, but i can picture them wishing they have one. and i can see lot more of the sbg falling underneath here.
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Family Tree Headcanons
I’m the kind of person who often holds multiple contradictory headcanons because I like exploring possibilities. Within the space of this blog, I use headcanons for some internal consistency, but even so, I treat threads as independent and may play with different headcanons thread to thread. That being said, I wanted to lay out a ‘default’ for this blog/my own writing regarding the Snicket family tree.
ABC Generation
The family tree starts here. This could mean C was the first Snicket to join VFD, much as R was the latest in a long line of duchesses, but was the first VFD member. But Lemony mentions in EE that he learned the code from his grandfather, who learned it in turn for at least four generations (two grandfathers) back. And the map of the city which includes “sketches of costumes” and VFD tunnels, has had “twelve previous owners”. Whether or not it was formally VFD, Snickets have been involved in codes and conspiracies for way before ABC.
I personally headcanon ABC as brothers, possibly identical triplets (similar to the Denouements. Twins/triplets skips a generation and re-appears in Jacques and Kit). Charles’ name is canonically known. In previous threads I’ve used Aaron as E’s uncle and I might stick with that. Though I also like Abraham for its literal meaning (”father of many” as the eldest of this massive Snicket clan) and for the VFD parallels of the story of Abraham and Isaac, as a father willing to sacrifice his son on faith. B I headcanon as Benjamin. The reason his whereabouts are uninteresting is he never joined VFD. He was just never interested. Benjamin Snicket lived out his life having a normal, mundane job like being a florist or something and never got caught up in the codes and plots his brothers were into.
DEF Generation
I’ve personally established F as Fiona in a thread before and I’m sticking to that. I like the idea of Fiona Widdershins being named after someone two generations earlier. E, is of course, the Snicket mother. I’ve been personally calling her Esther in my head but I’m not locked in on that. I do accept the common fanon that D is the parent of the Anwhistle brothers (see below) with one eyebrow and ear. However, I will typically not be following the other common theory that this is also Ishmael’s student. Ishmael’s student was orphaned, and C lived long enough to meet and teach Lemony and Kit. Personal headcanon name: Delilah.
GHI Trio
I will be following common fanon that G and I are Gregor and Ike Anwhistle, taking their last name from their (unnamed) father. This does mean that Gregor and Ike are first cousins to Jacques, Kit and Lemony. VFD families are often interconnected. Some people theorize H is Hector, who is a VFD member. But Hector’s interactions with the Snickets in both VV and WCTBATH? don’t really fit a ‘first cousins’ vibe for me. There are enough repeated initials in VFD to go around. No locked in name (Heather? Hailey?). Tempted to say H is named Helvella after a family of mushrooms.
Connection to Beatrice
It’s mentioned in the Wide Window that Ike is also Beatrice’s cousin, and whistling is a family trait. There is a way for this to be true without Lemony and Beatrice being related, if Beatrice is Ike’s cousin on his father’s side of the family. This, again, gives a neat way for the Baudelaire family to get involved in VFD and repeates the motif of layered VFD families. Betrand (as stated by Poe in TPP) was an orphan, so might have taken on the Baudelaire family name, as Jacob did for the Snickets. This does mean Lemony and Beatrice, while themselves unrelated, would share cousins. (It makes me think of stories where sets of sisters marry sets of brothers).
JKL
Jacques, Kit and Lemony. The classic Snickets. Firmly established in canon.
MNO
I do not think O is Olaf, it does not make sense given how the characters interact and talk about one another for him to be cousins with JKL. M and O being Miranda and Olivia Caliban is more plausible (definitely not in TV-based threads where J and O are a couple) but even in book verse I don’t think there’s any indication Lemony and Jacques interact with O in a familial way. This is something I might use in a thread-by-thread basis, but as a rule of thumb MNO will be different characters.
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Everyone still kissing Snape's ass for being "a hero" because he loved Lily and then being a douchebag to her son and tearing a family photo with her to keep for himself needs to sit the fuck down and watch A Series of Unfortunate Events because Lemony Snicket is what Snape should have been after being rejected. That man did everything he could to find the Baudelaire children instead of being a douchebag because Beatrice picked Betrand over him.
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the next gen all grown up is "violet->sunny->klaus" beatrice can look like a 'normal girl is a little shorter' couple with lemony, and a 'ooh, a tall girl' couple with bertrand, but when lemony and betrand hang out bertrand looks Tiny
#btw i think both bertrand and sunny have strawberry-blonde hair#beatrice and violet have dark brown (violet's is a little lighter tho)#and lemony has like 'so dark it looks bluish' black hair
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Witness to Departures
Jacques believed one should bring three gifts to a baby’s first birthday celebration: something practical (an unseemly amount of diapers), a favorite childhood book for the baby (Pippi Longstocking) and something for the parents to remind them of their own existence as adults and sentient beings in the post-baby haze (Samuel Beckett’s Molloy).
When he arrived, Beatrice was seated in the back yard, infant son on her lap, surrounded by a gaggle of cooing friends. Little two year old Violet toddled around, gently shepherded by the watchful eyes of her mother and the guests. She seemed to be fascinated by the screws holding the lawn furniture together, poking at them with pudgy toddler fingers.
Bertrand met Jacques at the back porch with a handshake, clap on the back and a smile.
“Good to see you” Jacques began.
“You, too. I take it you’re here representing the Snicket delegation? I bet Beatrice it would only be you.”
“I’m sure my siblings would be here if they could. Kit’s preoccupied in Tunis and...well, no one knows about Lemony.”
Bertrand let out a little sigh. Both men leaned on the porch railing, standing side by side, looking at the guests rather than each other.
“I know your siblings, Jacques. You don’t have to lie on their behalf. Even if they were both in the city, Lemony couldn’t stand to see Beatrice, and Kit’s indignant that we’re leaving VFD. ...We do think he’s alive” Bertrand added a little more gently. “We almost named Violet ‘Lemony’. But once Klaus was born there were enough rumors...we don’t know for sure. If I knew anything for sure I would have told you already. But we believe he’s alive, for what it’s worth.”
“Hope is worth a great deal. And Lemony still thinks the world of you. He can be happy for you both and sad for himself at the same time. The same goes for Kit’s anger. That’s the troublesome part- it’s because they love you both that they feel hurt.”
“But not you? You’re not here to try to talk us back into the fold?”
“You know I take the ‘voluntary’ part of VFD very seriously, Bert. I’ll miss your work, and your presence. But I’m grateful that you two left, because it means you had a choice. Many of our enemies don’t.”
“But?” Bertrand prompted, a wry tone sneaking into the word.
“But it doesn’t have to be either-or. You know you could do both. Plenty of volunteers have taken parental leave until their children are old enough. The Quagmires had triplets last year- they’re not going deep-sea diving anytime soon but they can still coordinate correspondence. My parents-”
And you Snickets are so well-adjusted Betrand thinks. But what he says aloud is “You mean ‘until their children are recruited’. You’re telling me we can do both as if that’s some novel idea instead of the status quo that’s been expected of volunteers for decades. As if we didn’t try.” Violet had probably overheard some VFD coded phrases in her scant two years, though Bertrand hoped she would forget them as she grew older. “And if it was just me and Bea, we’d still be in the mountains. The entire point is the children. The neophyte system was falling apart when we were in it, Jacques, and it’s only gotten worse. And even if it was in perfect working order...it feels like fattening a cow for the slaughterhouse. I’m not raising my children just for them to be snatched away as soon as they can walk and talk.”
“Shouldn’t that be up to them?”
“Jacques!” the anger in Bert’s tone was more than a hint.
“I mean it. Like I said, I take the voluntary aspect very seriously, and that goes both ways. If you get to choose to leave, they get to choose to join. The neophyte fostering system is a mess, and you know I never liked the tattoos. I’ll respect your wishes. I can promise I won’t be standing out of your windows making wolf noises. But I know you and B, and I’ve seen your library. Any children raised in this household are going to be well-read, clever, and kind. They will be a force for justice and nobility in the world, even if they never learn a single code.”
“Being well-read and noble isn’t the same as being a member of VFD.”
“We’ll have to disagree on that. It’s the only part that matters. The rest is affectation.”
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YOUR FANDOM
tagged by: @vfdlibrarian
tagging: @notlemonysnicket @optimisticlumber @hostrology and anyone else who wishes to do this!
YOUR FANDOM: A Series of Unfortunate Events
YOUR MUSE: Kit Snicket
OTHER MUSES YOU HAVE PLAYED FROM THE FANDOM: None
MUSE(S) YOU’D WANT TO PLAY FROM THE FANDOM: I’ve thought about rp-ing Jacques. But really, I want someone else to rp Jacques so I can interact with them for good sibling sass.
FAVORITE CHARACTER(S): Dewey Denouement, all of the Snickets, Klaus Baudelaire. I have a weakness for all adult VFD members to be honest.
FAVORITE EPISODES: Book 12 is my favorite, followed by 6 7 and 9 in no particular order. I generally like the later books because more VFD and moral ambiguity. In the Netflix series, I suppose my favorite eps are the Reptile Room, because you get a lot of VFD-hints through Monty.
FAVORITE PLOTLINE(S): I like metaplot and older VFD. So I always liked the background plot of Lemony/Beatrice.
LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER(S): Carmelita, Esme, Kevin (you’re just ambidextrous, chill).
SOMEONE YOU FEEL IS UNDERRATED: Dewey Denouement. He gets to exist for one whole chapter but he is so cool. I would say Jacques, but he’s not so much ‘underrated’ as ‘we don’t know enough about him to have an opinion/rating’.
FAVORITE THEORY: Isadora is a trans girl.
LEAST FAVORITE THEORY: The sugar bowl holds horseradish/a bitter apple. This is based on the entry in book 13, but it just doesn’t seem...important enough? Is horseradish a scarcity in this world?
A STORYLINE YOU’D CREATE: More VFD adventures! Kit! Lemony! Betrand!
A STORYLINE YOU’D CHANGE: I mostly just want the time line to be more organized and sensical.
WHAT CROSSOVER DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR FANDOM: I will rp anything eagerly. But I think there’d be some neat interactions with: Gravity Falls, Pushing Daises, Spy X.
WHAT CHARACTER FROM ANOTHER FANDOM WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE APPEAR IN YOUR FANDOM?: Um...Ford from Gravity Falls, I guess? He’d mesh well with the secret vibe.
IN THE WORLD OF MY FANDOM, I’D BE: I wouldn’t make a good field agent because I’m disabled and not actually that brave. If I follow my interests, i’d end up as VFD’s resident therapist. (and let’s be honest, they need one).
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