snicketsquadron
A Squad of Snickets
A (multimuse) Side Blog for RP. Nonselective.
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𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍/𝐒𝐏𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒
(a collection of prompts inspired by spy movies. Feel free to adjust phrasing and gendered terms as necessary)
TW: firearms, death mention
> 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄
"You know, I was in love with an agent once."
"I remember the Secret Service being tougher."
"I can negotiate something."
"I bet you're a spy."
"Give me the gun."
"Wow. You really are CIA."
“You don’t look like a spy.”
"Are you here to kill me?"
"Sorry, love. Gotta save the world."
"Spoken like a true traitor."
"Christ, I miss the Cold War."
"This used to be a Gentleman's game."
"Do you really think a knife can beat a bullet?"
"Quite the body count you're stacking up."
"Is that your real name or just another lie?"
"Governments change… the lies stay the same."
"That's the code name you picked? Really?"
"So you've been lying about your identity all this time?"
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Do you want a clean kill or do you want to send a message?"
"[name] was one of the most effective black op agents we've ever had."
"Sometimes we pay so much attention to our enemies, we forget to watch our friends as well."
"I hate to say it, but, the accountants seem to be running MI6 these days."
"Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?"
"It pains me to admit it, [name], but one day, you might be as good a spy as any of them.
> 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
[HANDLER] Muse A is new to the agency, and Muse's B is their handler
[COMMON ENEMY] Muse A and Muse B are from two different agencies and get assigned the same target.
[TRAITOR] Muse A and Muse B are from two different agencies, and Muse A is trying to convince Muse B to change sides.
[FALLING FOR THE ENEMY] Muse A is supposed to seduce and kill Muse B, but instead they fall in love.
[LIES] Muse A has known Muse B for a while, but is just now finding out that Muse B is a spy.
[RESCUE MISSION] Muse B has been taken hostage by the enemy, and Muse A needs to rescue them.
[MENTOR] Muse A is a new recruit and is paired with Muse B, much more experienced.
[COMPROMISED] Muse A finds out that Muse B is an enemy spy.
[RELUCTANT ALLY] Muse A is an ex-enemy agent that has been captured and, in order to avoid going to prison, has agreed to work with Muse B.
[THE MOLE] Muse A and Muse B are investigating a mole in the agency. One of the muses can be the mole in this scenario.
[SWAN SONG] Muse A is a spy that's been called out of retirement to work with Muse B on one final mission.
[SNEAK PEEK] Muse A is a spy and Muse B has seen something that they shouldn't have.
[CIVILIAN] Muse A is a spy and Muse B is a civillian that is brought in to help on a top secret project
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vfd: hi look we are a totally normal secret organisation you can trust us
klaus: why are you entirely staffed by rich orphans?
vfd: don't worry about it
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"Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this. " (( I AM TEARING MY HAIR OUT ))
Kit glared up at him. Half of her wanted to claw his eyes out like a feral cat, a lioness. To eat his heart in the marketplace like a Shakespearean heroine. Her hand grasped at his chest as if to hint at the claws.
But when she yanked him down it was into a kiss.
There was violence in the way her lips crashed into his, the way her tongue pierced like a javelin into his mouth. Her hands still held his shirt like she wanted to shake him. She seemed always on the verge of biting him and never did. Because it was only a half-wish, and it was tearing her in two to feel it.
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𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂��� 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences on this memes are taken from different sources of literature, television and media about enemies to lovers trope and enemies and lovers trope with some angst thrown into the mix. Change pronouns, names and locations as you see fit.
Does it hurt? Loving someone who can’t love you back?
Break his crown, break his throne, rip his monarchy apart.
What are we doing?
You are capable of making my blood boil like no one else, and yet I feel a magnetic pull I cannot explain.
It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand
Like whether you should kiss me or punch me.
Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.
You make me feel things that shouldn’t exist.
Whatever this is, we should stop. I have been. . .compromised.
There’s a fine line between love and hate, and maybe we crossed it a long time ago.
I never thought I could detest someone so much, until the day I realized I was falling in love with you.
We may fight like enemies, but deep down, we both know that our hearts beat for each other.
You infuriate me, challenge me, drive me crazy, but damn it, at the end of the day, I can’t resist you.
It’s that tension that makes this so irresistible.
You’re like an addiction I can’t break free from, even if I wanted to.
You’re the thorn in my side, the fire in my veins, and I can’t help but crave your presence in my life.
Loving you feels like a dangerous game.
You infuriate me, yet you’re the only one who truly understands me.
You scare me to my core.
There’s no denying the fire that burns between us.
If any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies.
I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other.
Tell me you don’t feel this between us. Look at me and don’t look away while saying it.
You claim me your enemy and yet, let me crawl into your bed every night.
You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires.
Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you.
I did not asked for this. To be plagued by these feelings.
I tried to deny it for so long, but I don’t want to anymore.
Follow me around. Look at me as if you find me fascinating. Touch me, and say nice things to me. And then, you pull away as if you did nothing at all.
There’s no need for these games.
Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.
You read me wrong. I wasn't trying to lead you on.
Is that all I am to you? A resource to be used in your scheme?
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But I just- I can't do it tonight, okay?
You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. That's logic.
It's like a little death. Several, in fact.
Oh Max, if you really hated Kyle you couldn't have slept with him.
So go on... kiss me... kill me... Do something.
I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up.
Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.
It just means you'd rather be with someone you hate... than be with me.
She's difficult and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time.
We have a deal, what are you so afraid of?
Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this.
You dragged me down and now I can’t quit you.
This is the last time we do this.
Last night was also the last time. And yet, you keep coming back.
Better my mouth than my knife, right?
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'you were asleep/unconscious/comatose' prompts
"So, you're finally awake."
"Good of you to join us."
"They don't know you're awake yet. Stay down."
"Oh my god. [Name]? Hi, [name]?"
"Get up. Now."
"I'm not leaving you here. GET UP."
"Hi. How are you feeling?"
"Sleep okay?"
"You know there are, like, actual beds here. You didn't have to take the floor."
"Relax. Nothing happened."
"Thirsty?"
"Can you hear me?"
"How'd you sleep?"
"You absolute fucking idiot."
"How could you be so stupid?"
"You were pretty out of it."
"Relax. We're safe here."
"We're not there yet. Go back to sleep."
"We're about halfway."
"You're on next watch."
"Up and at 'em. We have activity."
"You wanted me to wake you if [x], right? Well, [x]."
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Send ❓ and I’ll tell you a plot idea I’d like to explore with our muses!
Remember to specify muses for multimuses!
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Jacob let Kit lean on him. This, at least, he could do for her. The traditions and systems of VFD meant that he hadn't quite been a typical father. The children had been taken out of the Snicket home quite young, to be raised by the organization at headquarters. Many of the milestones of parenting had been shared between his fellow volunteers. But here and now, in a crisis, he could still be the support she leaned on.
"And the bowl itself?" he asked. It would be good to get to a safe place for the details. But there was a reason the sugar bowl was a life-or-death matter. And it would make a great deal of difference whether it was with Lemony, Beatrice, Esme or the authorities.
❝ what happened? tell me what happened. ❞ (Jacob to Lemony or Kit)
Kit's usual stoic demeanor had been cracked to its very foundation on this night, this was the night that her heart was broken forever, shattered into a billion little peaces. Her best friend had killed her fiance's father and spurred him to join the opposite side of the schism, her brother was wanted for a murder he didnt commit, everything seemed to be unraveling the way a knitted scarf would unravel if the loose thread was pulled on.
"The fire chief is dead, Lemony is wanted for his murder, and now the schism is as fractured the VFD so deeply, I wonder if it can ever be repaired. What will happen to everyone now?" Kit choked out softly as she sat on the grand staircase in the opera house. When she woke up this morning she had never thought she would have been here, that everything that had happened would have happened.
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Kit wasn't surprised when Violet started weeping. Who could blame the poor girl? Any one of the tragedies that the orphans had survived would be enough to bring tears to one's eyes, and the children had been through disaster after disaster. And when had Violet last had a moment to even let herself feel?
It could be polite to pretend not to notice when someone cried. But Kit still felt it was important to say something. If nothing else, to reassure Violet that she wasn't alone and help was here, even if she couldn't grant the wish of Everything Being All Right.
"I'm sorry for how we failed you, Baudelaires. VFD, and so many other adults, I'm sure. We should have found you sooner, protected you. The burden should never have been yours to bear."
Deep down, Kit believed it was wrong for Beatrice and Bertrand to have kept VFD a secret from their children. Perhaps it would have been less of a shock. Or Violet and her siblings would have been more prepared for the dangers that faced them. But it was no good to speak ill of the dead.
Perhaps that would be a comfort? Besides her siblings, Violet probably had few people in the world who knew her parents, and could speak well of them, sharing stories and grief. "You know, your mother and my brother would often cook together, in the headquarters near here. She made a lovely spicy peanut sauce."
[ brush ] sender brushes / styles / dyes receiver’s hair
(Kit to Violet)
Safe had never been a long state of affairs for Violet and her siblings, the guardians that her and the rest of her family had been placed with had on some level or another been incompetent to keep them safe from Count Olaf and his theater troupe from getting to them. However Kit felt different, she was capable and smart and strong, in so many ways Violet looked up to her.
Violet and her siblings and Kit were still in the wilds of the Mortmain Mountains, they had escaped Count Olaf and his troupe. For now they were safe, it was dark and it was cold, they would make camp for the night so they should too. Luckily Kit knew how to make a rather comfortable campsite for them based on the branches, leaves twigs and other items in the forest.
Klaus and Sunny had gone to sleep already, the journey they had been on together had been rough. As she watched the sleep she found herself a bit restless, she couldnt rest knowing that Count Olaf was out there nearby lurking waiting to kill them for their inheritance. To pass the time until her body gave of from exhaustion she was watching them sleep, that was until Kit had offered to brush her hair. It seemed like such a small odd thing to offer, but it occurred to Violet that Kit was offering as a way to help her relax.
As Kit worked on her hair Violet felt tension just leave her body, so much more tension than she thought she had in her, "Its hard to believe that I used to do this every night before bed." Violet said thoughtfully, it was hard to remember a time before danger, running, life and death. "Do you think we'll ever be free of Count Olaf?" She asked worriedly, she hated to think that this would be their life now.
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"I'll save my thanks until I know your intentions" Kit replies coolly. She wasn't going to be grateful when this all could be a play for his nefarious schemes. In her current state, even an inanimate training dummy would beat her in a fight, but that doesn't seem to stop her from mentally readying herself for one anyway.
His smile looks unsettling. And the dark circles around his eyes are so deep they practically form their own bandit mask. But it's the look of sadness buried deep in them that makes her withdraw her knee-jerk defensiveness. Not when its yours. Damn him and damn her for believing him, but she did.
"Thank you" she says, more genuinely. "And the stitches are good. They'll hold well enough." She shakes her head. "The hospital will ask too many questions." Smoke inhalation when there was a recent fire would be innocent enough- she was sure many patrons of the diner would be getting treated now. But the stab woulds and clear signs of a fight would raise more eyebrows. In Kit's experience, the doctors themselves wouldn't always ask, but they would call police to investigate for them. And even if she was lucky to get an ordinary cop rather than an agent of the other side of the schism, she couldn't afford being taken in for questioning. She'd broken out of jail before, but it would be one more snarl in her already tangled plans.
What of her mission now? The diner was gone, her contact either corrupted or- if the waiter had simply replaced a volunteer- worse, killed or kidnapped, which would require finding out and possibly rescuing them. And that was if the whole charade hadn't been a trap for her in the first place, with no real message at all. She had basically nothing to go on, and it was so hard to think.
"So it wasn't you. Do you know who it was?" she asks.
The Perilous Path
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incorrect ASOUE
#KS#count olaf#this is exactly what it was like dating Kit for Olaf#her family is all Pedantic Book Nerds and his dyslexic ass is Suffering
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This is E upon finding about Jacob's "lifelong bridge partner".
From The New Anecdota Americana, 1944
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The second Netflix Snicket series left me with all sorts of buzzing in my brain … one of the least ambiguous feelings was the need to draw “my” Jacques. As he’s in the books so little it’s easy to project onto him the character you want him to be; evidently my version of him isn’t what the creators had in mind – in fact my version of him is, basically, their Jacquelyn. Ah well. Here’s my version, anyway. I should listen to the audiobook again.
(And you might have seen him months ago if you were following me on Patreon! Plus a lot of other things, I update like twice a week, there’s serious blog business going on over there.)
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Your muse sees mine having a nightmare. Send me ‘❗’ to hear something my muse mutters in their sleep.
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The tea is as bitter as Jacques usually makes it. He no more thinks to offer a sweetener than he would consider suggesting someone put ketchup on their ice cream. He simply sits with Isadora for a moment, being a quiet, steady presence.
"An answer can be as comforting as a cup of tea. Or a listening ear." He was prepared to offer all three. He reasoned that, if Isadora had any burning questions, or things to get off her chest, they would rise to the surface given the time and space to do so.
“ nothing a good cup of tea can't fix. “ (hurt/comfort prompts, Jacques to...really any of them? Fiona, Isadora, Violet...even Olaf tbh).
hurt/comfort prompts
"Thank you very much, Jacques."
Isadora swirls the tea around in the cup, watching the tea leaves make little eddies in the steaming liquid.
"When I was younger I used to try and read tea-leaves," she says. That's why she still prefers loose-leaf. "But now I think I'd rather not see my future."
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&. 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
( an assortment of dialogue prompts for various crime / mafia / detective / criminal underworld scenarios. trigger warning for dark themes. feel free to change as you seem fit. )
❛ i always get paid in the end, one way or another. ❜
❛ maybe you just need someone to tell you what to do. ❜
❛ i don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in. ❜
❛ rule one: don’t get caught. ❜
❛ i do what people pay me to do. ❜
❛ consider this a professional courtesy. ❜
❛ i want us to be friends. i want us to trust each other. ❜
❛ you thought you could just fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you? ❜
❛ can we just exchange three words without you pulling a gun on me? ❜
❛ the detective’s life isn’t an easy one. but it rarely lacks for excitement. ❜
❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜
❛ tell me, what was life like on the other side? ❜
❛ so, to what do i owe this pleasure? ❜
❛ how many fights have you been in this week? ❜
❛ you want a silencer pistol? sure, if one’s on sale. ❜
❛ go ahead. you might as well finish the job. ❜
❛ can i at least buy you a drink? ❜
❛ you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. you know that, right? ❜
❛ we’re not all savages here, sweetheart. ❜
❛ the only thing that’s gonna keep you safe in this world is that gun. ❜
❛ i’ll teach you something about punishment. ❜
❛ do we have your allegiance or not? ❜
❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜
❛ you wanted the truth. i’ve given it to you. it’s up to you what you do with it. ❜
❛ you’re playing nurse to a killer, you know. ❜
❛ this your idea of laying low? ❜
❛ looks like you could use a bodyguard. ❜
❛ you look great. like a million bucks of real money. ❜
❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜
❛ drink all you want, but we need to stay focused. ❜
❛ you’re like a cockroach i can’t kill. i mean it in a good way. ❜
❛ you eat, or you get eaten. animals call it survival. humans call it business. ❜
❛ i could teach you how to fight, but i wasn’t equipped to take care of you. ❜
❛ i wanted to hurt them for the way they hurt you. ❜
❛ no one’s worth a bullet between the eyes. ❜
❛ may i have my gun back? ❜
❛ who taught you how to do that? ❜
❛ i’m gonna make you an offer. one time only. ❜
❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜
❛ you still have to keep up appearances. ❜
❛ the bodies he buried laid the foundation of what we are now. ❜
❛ imagine how quickly you can succeed if you just take what you want. ❜
❛ that wasn’t a punch. if i’d punched you, you’d be on the floor. ❜
❛ the choice to live an ordinary life is no longer an option for me. ❜
❛ i need you to focus on this case. not on me. can you do that? ❜
❛ you’re still an honest person. it’s the rest of the world that’s gone crooked. ❜
❛ all you need to do is exactly what i tell you to do. ❜
❛ i’ve done things i’m not proud of. i’ve hurt people and i’m going to hurt more. ❜
❛ blood money buys the best art. ❜
❛ everyone who ever helped me is dead. i don’t want that to happen to you. ❜
❛ i don’t kill people. not even scumbags like you who deserve it. ❜
❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜
❛ you’re not very good at retiring. ❜
❛ remember who the real enemy is. ❜
❛ you’re one of us now. nobody ever tell you that? ❜
❛ i’m the lucky one who pulled you out of the garbage. ❜
❛ if it were up to me, you would’ve been dead a long time ago. ❜
❛ everyone in that room has lived far worse than anything you’ve ever done. ❜
❛ if you’re doing it to help someone, doesn’t that make it okay? ❜
❛ you don’t get to be at the top without making enemies looking to tear you down. ❜
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Send me ✆ for my muse’s reaction to yours calling them at 3 a.m.
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Kit shook her head as Lemony tried to take the blame for himself, for not saving their colleagues. "You can't think of it that way, not when you were in need of saving yourself." What could Lemony have done for Beatrice or any of the others, when he was miles away and on the run? Kit and Jacques and others had been in the city at least, close at hand, and it still wasn't good enough.
"It sounds much more noble if you call it 'courage' or 'bravery' instead of recklessness" she replied, returning his smile. She knew she was taking risks, but she always had. It had always felt worth it, if it meant possibly helping someone else, or making the world a safer place. "We almost succeeded. There was a file- a massive book really- detailing all of Olaf's crimes in one place. There was going to be a trial in the hotel on Thursday. Something went wrong, obviously, or the last safe place wouldn't have gone up in smoke. But there's still a chance those records might have survived." If Dewey had managed to keep them safe in his underwater catalog. "If you're going to investigate anyway..." because of course he would. She could not imagine her brother giving up on Beatrice's children.
"What was it one of our associates said once? We're an invincible army, but not a victorious one. When we were younger, 'associate' was supposed to mean anyone that had been through VFD training, and had a tattoo. You always used it more loosely- any author who inspired you, any friend who helped in a tight spot. I think you have the right way of looking at things, baby brother. It's a bigger tradition of literacy and nobility. There are no more official VFD headquarters. There someday may be no official VFD volunteers. But the two of us are standing here, despite everything that's happened, despite everything we've lost, despite how easy it would be to give up and surrender to despair- and saying 'I'm still going to investigate, I'm going to help, I'm going to create safety where none exists'. So the spirit of VFD lives on. And will live on past us, in anyone who prefers a book of words to a book of matches. It's something like a fungus in that way. Our enemies can only cut down the surface mushrooms. But the web of mycelium remains, and will sprout again."
She held on to his arm for a moment, pressing close side-by-side. She knew they would part soon, they had both said they would go. But she had been apart from him for so long, it felt too soon to let him go quite just yet. She wanted to wish for any number of inordinate things, like world peace or her loved ones to be alive. It seemed unfair that even a wish for sitting down for a single cup of tea with her little brother was too much to ask for.
❝ he’s dead, isn’t he? ❞ Kit to Lemony
Lemony had caught up with his brother, he had heard that a very specific yellow taxi cab was towed from Montgomery Montgomery's estate. The only reason he had heard about it was because he was on the trail of the Baudelaire orphans, arriving just a moment too late. He had been filled with grief when he finally found the body, his poor brother... The sight of the scene he had found was something that would burned in his mind. He was happy he could spare his older sister the horror that would haunt his mind and dreams for years and years to come.
It had been a tough night all around. He had heard of a fire that had broken out at the Hotel Denouement and was on his way there, but he had stopped by the Gorgonian Grotto. The Queequeg was due to surface and he had heard that his sister was going to board the sub. Lemony had gotten to the grotto sooner than expected and saw his sister waiting by the outer dry dock for the sub, he drove up and got out and greeted her. Seeing his older sister in good health had made him happier than he had thought possible, as he approached her he wrapped her in a tight hug.
When he heard her question it must have been obvious what he had to say, "Yes." Was the only thing he could quietly choke out. "I still cant believe hes gone..." He said after a moment and let go of his sister.
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