#wander is going away for a while
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so.......... im leaving tumblr for a little while. im not deactivating my account! i just wont be able to log on after tomorrow. i'll be back in about a year and a half, so september of 2024. i didnt want you guys to worry about me, i'll be fine, i just wont be able to access tumblr or discord.
@whatcouldpossiblyg0wr0ng @ludoluck @merriclo @blarghyblergh @mothie-lad @cloud-anon @olivethetreebitch @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @gemglyph @cheerysharky @hyliagirl42 @blossomingwaters @toonfan2106 @swordsoffour @mad-navi @paradoxical-hermitcrab @anadorablekiwi @squigglywindy @flustered-flux and anyone else i forgot to tag, i love you all/p and im so glad ive gotten to be your friend <3
see you in a year and a half <333
#hurricane family#wander is going away for a while#id rather not talk about it here#dont wanna discuss it on tumblr#im gonna miss all of you so much!!#<3333333333333333#bye bye for now!!
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Ohiwe (lady) and Ohime (man) aka the fire deity after they get punished.
Originally just "Oh", the fire deity had a bit too much fun with punishing humans and so in a means to stop them, the elder gods split them into two. So now they have to be together in order to have their "full" power but as before the split, they get restless and like to wander. So while one stays in their city, the other gets to go out and travel and see the world and check on the other deities.
Also, as a whole/singular being Oh would use they/them. After the split however, it's definitely not the same and so Ohiwe likes using female pronouns and Ohime uses male pronouns. That way when discussed as one, it's back to they. That feels best for them.
#my characters#i posted the unified base version to my side blog but they arent very exciting it was just a lil doodle#however as i sit here waiting for my throbbing headache to go away im dying squirtle i figured id try to doodle#before i work on the comm and unfortunately my head still hurts so back to medicine i go#also also ohime is much more mild in his commentary where ohiwe is sharp and harsh#and ohiwe is definitely more fond of running the city than ohime but that also means she gets more restless quicker#so he unfortunately is stuck in the city more than she is because she needs to wander#she still does most of the planning as she wanders and then talks it over with ohime when she returns#i wanna make a funny joke about how they are indeed the last two brain cells type of thing#but also they are on the same wavelength almost all the time cause they started as the same person#but its always a bit of a jump in their logic to other people while they remain on the same page#like ohiwe says something and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS#and everyone else is like no ??? but ohime is like WE HAVE TO TAKE A NAP#or something and ohiwe is like exactly ! glad one of you in the room knows whats up
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You know that time in the comics when the Doctor is so depressed, he shuts off the lights, turns on an interrogation spotlight, locks himself in the console room, and argues with a bunch of judgmental shadow-figures resembling his past incarnations?
And all the TARDIS' lights go out and her interior becomes a maze to keep his companions out of the console room, all from her psychic connection with the Doctor (“moodbleed”)?
And his companions are left wandering in circles for two days as the air goes “stale,” not knowing where he is but thinking the worst, while he hallucinates in a dark room?
...because I'm thinking again about the times this definitely happened when he was with the Ponds.
#when they find him- Rory (one good nurse™) asks neutral questions to check on his emotional state while respecting his space#Amy knows when he's locked himself alone long enough to call River (fortunately Amy talks to her daughter often)#River can calm the tardis and go directly to the Doctor. she sits with him and nods when he rants. she tells him hes loved.#eleventh doctor#11th doctor#doctor who#words by seaweed#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#honestly same. I don't want anyone looking at me when im in that way because eyes are very uncomfortable lasers slicing my thoughts#so river doesn't look at him. she looks away and lets him look at her so he knows she's not looking at him. she also does active listening#the shadow-figures in this comic are beyond psychosis coded#emphasis: it isnt presented like some conference of past selves here (which the doctor can't just do anyway- see Power of the Doctor).#and the shadow figures dont have personalities anyway. the way theyre drawn is VERY psychosis coded (as is 11 this whole Si Spurrier run)#this is from Eleventh Doctor Year 2 Issue 3 (set between A Christmas Carol and The Impossible Astronaut) if anyone's wondering#note that he put on his comfort fez I love him#alice obiefune#poor Alice got drove up the wall from wandering in the dark for two days… I think Amy and Rory get to get used to it if they're together#eventually they work out a plan to calm the tardis enough to show them the comfy spot in the bunkbeds to wait and give him space#he joins them in their bunkbed for platonic snuggles. all in the same bunk. Rory doesnt mind. they make sure the doctor knows hes loved <3#I think- having been percieved as psychotic growing up- Amy would be conscious about making sure the doctor knows she still adores him#I really want this fic to exist
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Scaramona (as in the Harbinger, Scaramouche, and Mona) will always be the blueprint for the bickering, the clash of beliefs and worldviews, but more and more I come to love and appreciate Wandermona.
As the Wanderer, he’s now had to confront his previously held notions, to challenge his sense of self and his place in the world. He is discovering who he can be in this second chance he’s been given.
Mona’s story is still just beginning. Like Scaramouche, she has a very defined sense of self—genius astrologist, set on surpassing her master. I believe that also like Scaramouche, she will be forced to confront her worldviews when they are thrown back in her face (“The stars, the sky… it’s all a gigantic hoax. A lie.”) and have to redefine herself with this new knowledge.
Where Scaramona was about bickering and clashing ideals, I see Wandermona has an opportunity for discovery, reflection, overcoming. Traveling Teyvat together is one of my favorite headcanons (it’s almost a motif for me at this point) for them, and it suits Wandermona even more than Scaramona.
Mona and the Wanderer, trekking across the seven nations, sleeping under the stars, stopping by every bookstore and library to read, arguing about academics and the nature of fate and self-determination.
#scaramona#wandermona#this was all spurred by that gif of wanderer napping on a rock#I’m imagining Mona coming across him while making her way through Sumeru#she doesn’t remember him but he never forgot her or their encounter#he knows he should let her walk away but he finds excuses to accompany her#somehow someway they become travel companions (for a time it’s only temporary he tells himself)#he’s invested in her astrological research and what it can tell him about his own existence#eventually Mona remembers everything#it’s both exactly what he wanted and what he feared#Mona is hurt she is betrayed she is furious she is heartbroken#you lied to me#you deceived me#I didn’t#this is who I am#how was I supposed to tell you?#where do they go from here? they are at the edges of the world and the moon feels closer and more tangible than the rest of Teyvat#it’s just him and her and the scattered pieces of who they are#so slowly and painstakingly they work together to put them together to form a more complete picture
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complaining again! i don't think some people understand that it's fine and can be very fun to twist mythological figures around for the purposes of modern fiction. no one is getting upset over disney's hercules or anything. but it becomes misinformation when you try to pretend that the twisted version that modern fiction presents has mythological basis.
#no medusa was not blessed by minerva so that no man would ever harm her again#it was expliclty a punishment bc thats unfortunately how things tend to go in greek and ROMAN myths#and no medusa's head was not used to mark women's shelters in ancient greece#the gorgon head was a very common adornment for all sorts of buildings in ancient greece#no persephone didn't wander down into the underworld on her own and decide to stay#she was abducted and taken there against her will#and no she didn't secretly wish to get away from her awful bitch mother demeter#she missed her mother greatly while in the underworld and was overjoyed to see her again#did i miss anything? any more very common mythological inaccuracies bc i got the two big ones#i speak#greek mythology#roman mythology
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go get someone to walk you around on a leash and maybe youll feel better
#not just sexually but like#just having someone to guide you where you need to go is nice#i wander enough that id honestly ask a friend to keep me on a leash while we're out so i dont fucking. walk away and have to get yelled at#but also its hot
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The screaming had lasted for hours.
Not screaming like someone was dying; Ingo would have intervened if that were the case.
In some ways, the argument he could almost hear was worse.
The twins had come round with Cori and Razz, picking up Akari and Rei and taking them out for ice cream when it had started. Ingo had asked Davis about it who had, reasonably, looked uncomfortable.
"Dizzy loves our brother, she really, really does. But she... takes his lifestyle personally. They're very similar like that." Davis had responded quietly. "It's an old argument with no end. This happens- not normally in front of the kids, so Khan had us take them out of the house when she started winding up, and Cor asked if we could grab Akari for ice cream and..."
Ingo had let them go, sitting at home and listening. He couldn't hear the words but he could hear the tone. How angry Dizzy was, how it would go quiet and then there would be another outburst. Only a handful of times did Khan raise his voice in return at his sister, but never for very long. Ingo couldn't remember having any arguments like that with Emmet. He didn't remember their childhood, but the memories he had recovered of their teenage years and before his accident... he didn't think he and his twin had ever been quite so volatile.
Then again, there had been no signs of this sort of conflict between the oldest siblings either. If he wasn't hearing it, he'd never have thought they'd fight like this. Given the lack of interference from the rest of the neighborhood he wagered Davis was right, and that the best way to deal with this storm was simply to ride it out.
When the argument finally ended he was standing by his window that looked into his neighbor's front yard, worried. Dizzy stormed out with Khan following quickly behind. Ingo had never seen him look so... small. It was hardly a word one would associate with the young man, given his height and stature, and yet it was the only word Ingo could think of to describe him.
He watched as Khan reached for his sister, only for her to turn and slap his hand away.
“Why can’t you even try, you self-sacrificing bastard? You never even try!”
She stomped down the sidewalk, slamming the door to her car shut before turning it on and pulling out at a decidedly unsafe speed. Ingo watched as Khan stared after her, shoulders still slumped, before he put a hand up to his face and turned to walk back into his home.
Maybe it would be better to leave well enough alone, to pretend he hadn’t overheard… _that,_ but Khan was… well. Khan was his friend. Things may have been shaky to start with between them, but they had smoothed out. Khan knew about Ingo’s amnesia and never once judged him for it. Now, Ingo knew about… this.
Still. He hesitated before walking out of his own home and down the sidewalk to his neighbor’s, glancing around at the rest of the homes on the street. Blinds were slowly opening, curious eyes peeking through to see what still stood in the wake of the hurricane argument. The door to Khan’s home was unlocked when he tried the handle and Ingo slowly opened the door.
“Khan?” He called out.
There was a sniffling sound, a familiar hitch of breath.
“Yeah?” Khan’s voice was thick and low when he replied. “What’s up, need something fixed?”
“No, I…” Ingo shut the door behind him. The house was in one piece. For all the screaming and noise it appeared that nothing had been broken. The argument may have sounded violent but nobody had gotten physical. “I heard what happened and I was wondering if you were… alright.”
“Oh, you… you heard that?” Khan hadn’t come out to find him and so Ingo continued towards his voice instead. “Well, yeah. They could probably hear that on the moon.”
“Possibly. I was unaware that Dizzy’s volume could rival my own.”
Khan was sat in the kitchen, slouched down in one of the chairs he’d built by hand. A byproduct of one of the many jobs he’d taken to keep his siblings fed, homed, and safe. He still looked, to Ingo’s dismay, small. Defeated. Deflated of all life.
“Yeah, she’s got some pipes on her. Always has. About burst my eardrums when she was a toddler, the way she’d howl when she threw a fit.”
One hand was rubbing at his face and his shoulders were still shaking intermittently. Ingo paused, uncertain, before he rested a hand on Khan’s shoulder.
“I don’t know what happened, but if you’d like to talk about it… or if you’d prefer, I can leave?”
Khan was silent long enough that Ingo prepared to straighten up, head out the door, and pretend this had never happened.
Khan leaned forward, rubbed his eyes again, and shook his head.
“You can stay,” he said quietly, and Ingo pretended he didn’t see the tears falling onto the floor, “it’s fine. You can stay.”
#khan a.#neighbor au#dizzy loves her brother but even though it's been over a decade she takes the decisions he made as a teenager personally#she feels guilt for not being able to help him more nevermind that she was a couple years younger than him#with all of them older and better able to take care of themselves she wants him to start branching out and DOING things#and doesn't understand that khan doesn't feel like a failure (bc she does) and that he's actually quite... comfortable and happy.#and that it's taken him a while to feel this way because he always felt like he wasn't doing ENOUGH#she's the well meaning younger sibling who feels like she held him back and now she's trying to 'encourage' him into doing something MORE#when khan can finally do LESS#eventually there will be a compromise where ingo does not wander over afterwards and find khan pretending he's not crying (again)#(ingo will help be that catalyst bc he understands why dizzy feels as though she's failed because he's gone through it with emmet feeling#the same way about ingo's own injury that caused his amnesia. they'll sit her down and have a talk with her and then she'll go#talk to her brother and they'll cry into each other's arms because they're actually very melodramatic)#but for now. for a little while yet. they will argue and khan will send the littles away and ingo will help him recover.#dizzy will come back in a week and they won't speak about It until the feelings bottle up and build up enough pressure to explode again.#ingo#SKETCHY SKETCHY IT LOOKS BAD OH WELL
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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🔥? 👀👀
(send 🔥 for an unpopular opinion)
OK I don't necessarily know how unpopular this is because I don't think many people care all that much but I really hate how Húrin in Brethil is characterized by certain sources (TV tropes for example and even the back cover of The War of the Jewels). Húrin's actions in Brethil were undoubtedly influenced by Morgoth but it's also clear from The Wanderings that the Haladin were experiencing major discord between several of their powerful houses long before his arrival and also, perhaps more importantly, Húrin was tortured in Brethil. I'll tag this post with my Wanderings tag where I have my many other posts about this so I don't have to link them all here but his treatment by Avranc and Hardang is torture. I will maintain that. He was injured and grieving and traumatized and they put him back in chains, deprived him of aid, held him forcefully against a rock and drugged him. I'm not saying that what happened later was right or good but it's certainly not surprising.
On that note, Húrin's belief that some of the Haladin were responsible for Morwen's death is also completely reasonable to me.
But in his sleep he heard the voice of Morwen lamenting, and often she spoke his name; and it seemed to him that her voice came out of Brethil.
So certainly Húrin's beliefs about Morwen in Brethil had some outside influence, I'm not denying that. But given his own experiences there even at the beginning, "These people who are clearly hostile towards traumatized wanderers and who imprisoned and drugged me might have been hostile to my wife, a traumatized wanderer" is not an unreasonable conclusion to reach.
Also this is not exactly on the same note but related; Húrin is among the Haladin himself! His mother is Hareth of the Haladin! Obviously his primary culture is Hadorian but he spent a long time in Brethil as a child and is absolutely among their kin! Manthor even says this during his trial in The Wanderings.
And finally I am definitely not saying the Haladin are bad people or that the destruction of Brethil isn't a great tragedy or that Morgoth had no role or influence in this! This was not the majority of the Haladin and in fact many, many of them saw how Húrin was treated as horrific! Avranc and Hardang were a powerful and loud minority who played a role in the destruction of their own people. The destruction of Brethil and the deaths of many of the Haladin, Manthor among them, is a tragedy. It's just not one that's solely Húrin's fault or that he's not also a victim of.
#Húrin#Morwen#the wanderings of húrin#the children of húrin#musing and meta#but i am his thrall no longer#also I have genuinely wondered if Avranc is on Morgoth's side#I was skeptical at first especially because I don't want to go down the road of only people in league with Morgoth can do evil#(Hardang definitely isn't for Morgoth's side he's just cruel and powerful for example)#but Avranc...#he does explicitly decide not to try to kill Húrin right away after Húrin blurts out#that Morgoth would be angered by his death while in a dazed state#and there are other pieces of evidence too#anyways that's for another day
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Holy God This Is All So Boring
i am taking microscope images of the cells i'm studying. the cells were grown on a glass plate before i fixed them (killed & chemically preserved), so by default a microscope image of them is taken from a camera below them, looking up through the glass. they're stained with fluorescent dyes for four different proteins, so every single picture has to be repeated four times with a different laser light illuminating the cells (imagine taking a photo with a red filter, a blue filter, and a green filter, and then composing them all together to get the full picture. it's actually almost exactly the opposite of that, but that's close enough).
i care mostly about how the cells are shaped in three dimensions, and i'm using a laser which is specially shaped so it can collect only a very thin slice of the cells in the Z-direction, without interference from the parts of the cells just above or just below what i'm taking pictures of. as a result, i need to take lots of pictures at different depths in the cells, so i can get slices that i can stack on top of each other and get back a 3D shape. also, because i am using a tiny concentrated beam of light to achieve the above effects, it has to scan across the image to collect each picture, like a scanner; it can't just be collected in a single snapshot like a photo.
the distance between one slice and the next is less than a quarter of a micrometer. i'm using a 63x magnified magnifying lens to magnify the image, and the light detector that picks up the light is specially made to allow the images to be processed even further, so i can resolve structures that are less than 200 nanometers, which is the Abbé limit and is the technical resolution limit of light microscopy (don't worry about this). i care about things that are the size of, like, three proteins stuck together, and therefore maybe 10nm wide, so this is important to me.
all of this is, you know, scientifically great, very useful to me, i'm getting some very interesting results that i am genuinely looking forward to thinking about more, except the upshot of all of this is that just getting a single picture of two cells from the bottom to top of the cells involves 80-100 slices and takes like 27 minutes per image to collect, and i need at least six pictures tonight, and certain bastards in certain other labs habitually pre-book the microscope so i can't use it except at 5-9pm on a friday. no one else is here in the lab and my mother is busy with elder care and my girlfriend is busy with like, groceries, so i can't call either of them even if i weren't too irritable to be good company, and oh my god, i am so bored, i am so so bored, i am bored enough even to type out this whole explanation even though none of you could possibly care because it took most of my current round of waiting for 27 minutes to do
#in theory i should collect seven additional images on top of the six named#but 'fortunately' i stained this plate a while ago and the dye for the other images has kind of faded#so instead of doing it now. i will stain another plate. and do it the next time i can wrestle four hours away from aforementioned bastards#now certain of you who are in the know about microscopes might be wondering something#''glass'' they might say#''don't all modern microscopes come with the ability to pre-select positions and then just wander off and let the microscope run on its own#all night? why stay there and do this instead of setting it up and going home?''#and yes that's correct. but there are two issues#one is that i am obviously using an oil objective and this particular one can only do 2-3 positions before it needs the oil refreshed#so i would rather notice that need prior to taking the image than the next morning#and secondly. i can't figure out where the positions function is in ZenBlue. and the scope core staff only work for a random three hours of#every day. none of which i can get a booking in anyhow. so i have no one to tell me how to find it.#box opener#doctor worm#my life is so much harder than anyone else's ever.
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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i'm back fromthe mountains and in human civilization and i. i cannot deal with it. i cannot fucking deal with it what the fucj
#everything is LOUD#and NOISY#and STINKY#and the air is so fuckingTHICK and WARM and the clouds are so highABOVE and people are RUDE and im.#i cannot. i. just seeing the first car againwas almost a cultural shock#its been only three days and yet going back to my normal life is so overwhelming#I. CANNOT. EVERYRHING IS TOO FUCKING MUCH#in conclusion i was made to vanish high up inro rhe mountains for ever and ever and ever and ever#thats always. thats always the happiest i am in a long long long time#lik w i had two/three experiences earlier that was seriously GREAT#likw ill remember it my while lufe great#vut aughhhhh wandering between rocks and some grass two and a half thousand metres up high#i wanr to go back#i NEED to fo back#everyrhings too much i cant. i cant deal wtih this wtf#just you had moments when all you heard was maybea single bird further away#or a stream#vur otherwise literally NOTHING#COMPLETE SILENCE#i can hear my sibling screeching sownstairs#all the people up there where so nice when you met them. like youd at least offer a smile and a nod and a greeti g#people down here barely ever even look at you. youre never gonna depend on kne another#sitting with random people at dinner and just talking with strangers#strangers ae just friends you havent met yet#(we have a friend of sorts from australia now ig)#down hwre jts just. isk. not Ghat#and there are too many things too many fucking things everywhere theres cars outside and theres stuff lying around and theres trash on the#ground and rheres so many fhcking people but no interaction and theres so much fucking noise and smell and things and the air is all yucky#and weird and uncomfortable and warm and you can see super far but its all just streets and ugly and#no mountains no sky no clouds no depth no freedom no fucking. i. i miss the mountains
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I need more ways to incorporate discipline in my life. a lot of random factors mean very little is demanded of me in a variety of ways, and my historic lack of self-discipline evidently means I can't be relied upon
#I'm being ~healthy~ and I've gotten a militant 10k steps in a day for quite a while now#I want to start lifting weights at the gym but I've been putting it off#because my protein intake is super insufficient but moreso because I really don't want to --#wander through the machines and try to figure out a good set to use when they're all being used lol.#like I want a totally empty gym where I can wander through the weight machines and figure out what sets I can build into a routine#(arms/back/legs/ etc.) but every time I go there are TOO MANY PEOPLE ALL OVER THE MACHINES and I don't want to wander over there and gawk#[kicks dirt] I'm too unfettered right now and I have too few responsibilities at the moment#and it is.... actually not good for me. I think. I've been frittering away too much time lately and I think it's bc of my lifestyle
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i’ve concluded i’ll visit philadelphia if i ever go to america simply because i’m fascinated by your posts about it and want to see what it’s like. also, a genuine non-judgemental question, what do you find interesting about baseball? i gave it a go a few times and i found it so boring i fell asleep every time….
ball go boom
#no but like#first of all Do come to philly at the very least our museums are Amazing#baseball is very much a sport you have to grow up with to really Love i think because it’s so time consuming#it has to be baked into your very being that a complicated game with 9 innings that lasts upwards of four hours is totally acceptable#but there’s something nice about the fact that it’s long and meandering because you can let your mind wander and walk away and come back#and lookie there they scored two runs while i was off doing something else woohoo!!#but man when someone hits a home run and the crack of the bat as that ball flies out of there. mwah. beautiful.#and also it’s the camaraderie of following a sports team with other people#idk it’s just. comforting. it’s america’s pastime.#i have so many fond childhood memories of going to baseball games it’s just. yeah.
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So uh yeah basically I don’t think there’ll be an sso stream tomorrow or for a while really cause I honestly. Am just not feeling the game anymore lmao. Knowing eventually it’s just gonna be tedious and annoying and a time sink is. Ah.
#breaking news: in a shocking twist sso is once again a pay to lose game#i don’t want to argue this point. I do not care how quickly I’ll be able to level. it’s five hundred and sixty horses.#five hundred and sixty horses trained to level 7 to be given back features that were free and had no indication of going away#you guys could have new things. like you realize that right#you could get new cool interactions with your horse but instead they’re recycling old content by making it inaccessible to you#when instead you could have more petting animations or cute poses or something cool like letting your horse wander while you’re on them#this is locking the Halloween portals all over again and you don’t seem to realize that
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Oh yeah uh, final update on the hospital stuff for now that actually has nothing to do with my health, but instead how the nurse I had today treated me
I did fuck up here I will admit, but the whole thing would've been over a lot faster if she'd actually helped me at all.
#nurses do have hard jobs but please. all you had to do was say 'go right' instead of leading me to a hallway with a fourway intersection#and saying 'its down the hall' and walking away#WHICH hall? hello?#her entire vibe had been kind of off since i got admitted. and i cant point to any one thing she did because it was really just#the way she talked kind of reminded me of those popular girls in high school that come up to the weird kid in class and pretend#to want to be their friend while laughing at them behind their hand. but she hadnt actually Done anything or said anything openly rude#now i know for sure she wasnt a very nice or helpful person. all i needed was a way to go#id have gone to the room looked around checked my purse and been like 'oh oops wrong phone. well now i can go'#instead of wandering arounf lost only to find her again and get dismissed like 'i already helped her' no you didnt!!! you didnt try at all!#huff#long post#technically#i almost hit discord character limit twice while writing this#hospitals#nurses#mean girl to nurse pipeline is so real
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