some men are made to suffer

❤️🏳️‍⚧️ happy Valentine's day to my first dose of Testosterone 🏳️‍⚧️❤️

self love wins<3

today i watched the original god.zilla

man

I've been worried about my vision for a while now since an eye doctor told me when I was younger that I would be legally blind one day if my eyesight didn't stop deteriorating so rapidly, and for the past few years my vision hasn't been fully clear even when I choose the best possible prescription from the slides that they show me. I had been too scared to mention it to an optometrist before bc I didn't want to admit that it was an issue, but I mentioned it this last time I went and it turns out my prescription was just slightly wrong! My right eye is actually slightly less nearsighted than we previously thought bc it also has astigmatism. So they were able to correct for the astigmatism in my lenses this time, and I just picked my glasses up today and for the FIRST time since I was probably in middle school I'm actually able to see 100% clearly with my glasses on. And my left eye had the exact same prescription as last time, so it seems like my vision loss is finally slowing down. I'm so fucking relieved I could cry

did you know that theres a boot of the legally blonde pre-broadway tryouts????

I think this is one of the prettiest things ive ever drawn!

Weiss Schnee is my favorite character(behind Penny of course<333) can you believe in all these years ive never drawn her??

[My art]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i forgot my default signature was 'legalize greenleaf' and nearly sent an announcement out to all of the students in my course with that still included!

I have this bad trait where I quietly to myself think I'm better than some people in certain situations and not say my moral argumentation out loud about it

i’m sorry. what was that. 

oughh I agree so hard with you w/ death stuff. Tbf I've never actually seen a dead body close up or had someone close to me die so idk if my feelings will change after that but I think we're a part of nature and should return to nature after death

YA ive only ever seen dead bodies who have been prepared (in person at least, ive seen pictures of unprepared bodies) so yk. but ive lost a couple of family members and i just think likee. speaking from experience when you dont have the time with the deceased to process the death. it makes it sm harder to like. Feel your grief. bc yr so pushed into the like. Well the funerals over so grieving is done

pibby fans like dsmp fans but for adult swim but also more annoying somehow

I don't know which is worse, logging into the Sephora website and being greeted as my legal name, or logging into the Sephora website and being greeted as Giant Spider Boyfriend :/

I’m re-reading the 25k-ish words that I’ve written for FrankensteinWIP so far and man, it’s been so long since I actually enjoyed reading back my own text. It’s not the kind of literary prose I wish I could do, but it’s so distinctnly mine, and this book in general is such a self-indulgent project, it makes me happy just to work on it. 

On the other hand, I’m realizing more and more that I can’t juggle PhD school, youtube, and writing all at the same time. And logically I should prioritize youtube over writing because it has at least some sort of potential to become my full time job, but it hurts so much to post these videos that I spend months on and get like, a couple hundred views and 10 comments. So I would much rather focus on novels, but it makes me feel guilty. I feel like I haven’t had any sort of success with youtube yet because I don’t try hard enough, don’t post often enough, etc etc.

Doing the PhD is great because my workload is not insane, I get paid pretty well, and I love the people at my institute. I do have to manage my energy levels incredibly well and I end up burn out every few months anyway, but I make it work. Still, eventually I will graduate and will need to get a real job... and I don’t know if I can do it. Like, I don’t know if I will be able to hold a full-time post-doc position, especially a tenure track one. Especially if my chronic illnesses will keep detereorating. 

I’m hoping that after I graduate I will be able to scrape enough science writing and tutoring hours together to work part-time from home, and have time for youtube and writing. Doesn’t look very achievable now cause any freelance like this requires self-promo, and it seems like I really suck at it. But a boy can dream I guess.

i am just so full of THOUGHTS and OPINIONS

Changed my mind abt the blond twink, want a big beefy boy with dark curly hair to call me babygirl now

going to be honest elon taking over twitter JUST as i finished my university course on national and international media policy is some unreal shit