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razmerry · 2 years

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I added 403 tags in 2021

#warriors - 127 posts

#rvb - 79 posts

#drawtectives - 30 posts

#drawfee - 28 posts

#tma - 27 posts

#wwdits - 27 posts

#sanders sides - 26 posts

#star trek - 21 posts

#comics - 20 posts

#venom - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#and the clan starts going through a famine bc the researchers are unintentionally disrupting their hunting

My Top Posts in 2021

I did the challenge that was made by @satzzzwarriorcats and it’s very fun!

219 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 15:04:22 GMT

OKAY Drawtectives Finale fanart part two. I died laughing every time I thought of Emery in arm jail so I had to draw it.

catch me on the ground after getting so attached to these characters,,., blease they gotta come back

223 notes • Posted 2021-02-28 17:37:33 GMT

me: ugh I hate tropes

the trope: a person is host to some powerful entity and they have witty banter with each other

me: omg a person is host to some powerful entity and they have witty banter with each other

Featuring: Venom (moreso from the 2018 movie), Hector and Vincent (Wereworld), Jeremy and the SQUIP (blended from the book and musical), Prosper and Alastor (The Dreadful Tale of Prosper Redding), Greedling (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood), and O’Malley and Doc (Red vs. Blue).

282 notes • Posted 2021-06-19 19:35:38 GMT

Drawtectives: Orc Lore

So in honor of S1 of Drawtectives almost being over, I decided to rewatch all the episodes and compile all the “orc lore” Jacob spills, because it is delightful. I know people have suggested doing this but I haven’t seen anyone actually compile it all, so I’m sorry if you already have and I missed it. Also there were some things I left out because they felt more like just a joke, or weren’t important enough, or too non-specific. Some of the lore is contradictory but it’s so impressive for improv worldbuilding. Anyways! Enough of that. Read on:

Episode 1:

- York is orc on his father’s side, human on his mother’s

- His father is the tribe’s leader

- “Humans are kind of like pets to me”

- “I don’t know anything either, but I’m basically unkillable” - just a good York summary

- Has a case he keeps bones in

- Murder is a normal thing at orc parties

- The bone economy is introduced

Episode 2:

- York cannot write (does not understand the process of writing?)

- Orcs heal sickness by violently shaking the afflicted

- York is pretty good at mental math

Episode 3:

- Common misconception; York can read, just in the “orc runes”, not English

- Does not know what dollars are

- The bone economy is expanded upon; dragon bones are very valuable

- In orc culture you are polite to people who can kill you; rudeness is reserved for those you feel comfortable around

- York only learned about “motives” recently

- York is unaware of what jokes are

- He has never cried before?

- Food is eaten raw and possibly still alive

- In the bone economy, “candle bones” are worth 5 turtle bones, turtle bones are worth 5 rat bones, and a rat bone is worth 5 bug bones (bug bones are being phased out as a currency)

- Northern bugs do have bones

- Things that are the best to eat are the hardest to kill

- York’s hairstyle is popular, because he forced others to adopt it

Episode 4:

- “I’m about to humor your boy out the window” is just a very good quote

- York has trained warhounds before

- Wild trains live in wild train country. They cannot be slain or tamed, and are incredibly fast. It is the only thing York is terrified of

- Orcs cannot refuse an invitation; half-orcs must give a tentative maybe

- Wild trains are a serious threat to York’s tribe

- York has “bad blood” with the Wild Lands

- Bikes are used to escape wild trains

Episode 5:

- Only one channel on TV is received in the Northern Tribes; orcish soap operas are most common - “Tusks of Our Lives”, “Maul My Children”, “One Fight to Live” (which has 37 seasons)

- Only one band in the Northern Tribes; Birds of Prey

- York is unaware bands other than that one existed

- York does not know what a camera is

- Also does not know how TV works (”little people inside the box”)

- Cannot recognize his own face in a photo

- Only lemons grow/are sold in the Northern Tribes

- York had a “yellow-slick toad” named Tammy as a child; previous crying point disproven as he cried at least 15 minutes when it died

- Wild trains are also called “ground planes” sometimes

- York has murdered his brother in an “unrightful claim to the throne” and “blood feud”

- He is apparently an orc prince; this does line up with the lore about him being the tribe leader’s son

- (Non-orc worldbuilding: boker, billiards, Grendan Fury, Go Bish)

Episode 6: (the piss episode)

- Orcs… do both at once, as it were

- He doesn’t wipe………

- “Pee is compliment, blood is insult”

- Class discourse is an important discussion in orcish culture

- Mirrors do not exist in the Northern Tribes

- Northern cats are apparently eight feet long and eight feet tall, roughly cuboid, and kept as battle cats

- “Northern hill squirrel”

Episode 7:

- Orcs are strongly anti-tobacco; instead they do mushrooms

- YORKY SNACKS

- York once held onto an antelope for two weeks

- “It takes five pickles to hold a potata” - common orcish childhood quote

- Fuzzy potatoes are a crop in the Northern Tribes; they are hard to perceive, and if you don’t put on your “pickle glove” before you hold one things will get real weird

- York does possess the ability to write both “eat my butt” and “wow now thatsa potata”

Episode 8:

- Orcs have two stomachs, requiring more food to fill them; they don’t need to eat for two days after the stomachs are full

- He “empties both stomachs at once”

- York has been in many knife fights

- Expansion on wild trains: they can be killed, evidently, but only if you sneak up and attack their engine compartment while they’re sleeping, if confronted you must lure them into a false sense of security. Wild trains do know when they are being depicted in art and can sense it, will attack (?)

- Whatever leg wrestling is about

- Apparently once York killed a rhino by fanning his hand but I’m not sure if that was real or just to push Emery’s buttons

- “Is he doin slammer on me” - I just really like that

- Orcs are only babies for a couple hours

- YORK FEET PICS

- Possibly non-canonical but Jacob said York is on his Rumspringa and that is very funny

Episode 9:

- Non-orc actors and programs are being shown on orc TV?

- Orcs do not have dimples

- Old actors are called “road dogs” in the Northern Tribes

Episode 10:

- Ghosts exist in this world, but not in the Northern Tribes (“when people die, they die hard”)

- Reconfirmed: York is good at math

- Spilled milk is cried over in the North (it will make York cry)

- Has no pockets

(Updating:)

Episode 11:

- Not much but it’s a big one:

Orcish elders have knowledge of Julia (and her artistic decisions)

One-Shot Stream:

- Orcs “feel time differently” - described as being like dog years (1 day feel like 3 days)

- Semi-related: orcs believe that people are never coming back when they leave and are surprised when they do

- York believed only murder was a crime

- Dogs love York

- York does not know what his birthday is

- After a birth in the Northern tribes, people “take a stick and scratch in the mud” the words ‘He was born’ so others know

- He doesn’t know what glass is?

- “Faster than you can shake a leaf at a twig”

563 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 23:31:21 GMT

HOLY COW I MISSED THESE GUYS!!

822 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 19:39:55 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #my sanders sides posts always do SO WELL on tumblr #it's frankly ridiculous #also glad to see i am now a tumblr drawtectives influencer

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raksh-writes · 4 years

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Tagged by: @the-cookie-of-doom - thanks, hon! ^^

3 Ships: VOILES, Violate, and Symbrock (I just fell into this particular hole, lmao)

Last Song: I’ve got into all this slowed down songs and damn, what a mood. I’ve got Rihanna - Same Ol' Mistakes (slowed + reverb) currently on.

Last Movie: Venom (2018) - funnily enough, yesterday I watched it full for the first time, only in bits and pieces before. And, Tom Hardy, man...

Currently Reading (book): Lots started, none read at the moment. But I’ll be taking some with me on the boat trip to read.

Currently Reading (fanfic): Just going through the Symbrock tag on ao3 👀 Also, rereading what I have of LitA, to get back into Voiles and write some finally, so I can post chp 8 before the trip (You can read it here -> link - if anyone’s curious ;p)

Currently Watching: Partly rewatching some Teen Wolf episodes for the fic counts? Otherwise nothing much. Waiting for S5 of Lucifer ;p

Currently Craving: Frieeeees. And pizza.

Tagging: @elven-child, @oenothera5, @xxidontwikeitxx, @onsecondthoughtno and anyone who would like to do it! Definitely tag me, I’d love to read it! ^^

#tag game #tagged #Raksh posts #also as always no pressure if you don't wanna fill it ^^#I'm also using this to finally *stop* reading fic and getting on with writing #breaking the flow is THE WORST

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cesaray · 5 years

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films i watched in 2018 (i keep a ‘films in 201X’ page; link in my sidebar)

Goodbye Christopher Robin [6/10]

Murder on the Orient Express [6/10]

Darkest Hour [8/10]

Justice League [6/10]

The Florida Project [8/10]

Lady Bird [8/10]

Call Me by Your Name [9/10]

The Shape of Water [9/10]

Coco (2017) [10/10]

Paddington 2 [7/10]

Annihilation (2018) [10/10]

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle [6/10]

Black Panther [10/10]

Le Sens de la fête/C'est la vie! (2017) [8/10]

Rampage (2018) [7/10]

Tomb Raider (2018) [6/10]

A Quiet Place [9/10]

Love, Simon [7/10]

Tully (2018) [9/10]

Hot Summer Nights [7/10]

Avengers: Infinity War [7/10]

Deadpool 2 [7/10]

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before [8/10]

Ocean’s 8 [7/10]

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [7/10]

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society [6/10]

Crazy Rich Asians [8/10]

곤지암/Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum [5/10]

The Hatton Garden Job [6/10]

American Animals [7/10]

Black ‘47 [9/10]

Ant Man and the Wasp [7/10]

Venom [10/10]

Private Life [7/10]

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Gain [6/10]

Set It Up [7/10]

Moana (rewatch) [10/10]

Apostle (2018) [8/10]

Puzzle (2018) [8/10]

Searching (2018) [8/10]

Mission: Impossible - Fallout [8/10]

A Simple Favor [9/10]

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [6/10]

Aquaman (2018) [10/10]

Ladies in Black [7/10]

Colette (2018) [9/10]

#txt

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thescrapbookingscientist · 5 years

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Weekly Blog Post #1 -Goodbye 2018 and Welcome 2019

1/11/2019

Dear Future me,

I’m a bit late starting this (which I have no excuse for), but the gist is that I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to make a blog post every week as a way to document and look back on all the good and possibly not good things happening in my life. There's no formula here, it’s mainly be just a free for all to talk about my week and the things I enjoy.

That being said, This first entry will be a bit different and quite a bit longer than normal, as I reflect back on the recently ended 2018. This year stretched on unusually long as Trumps Politics became a raging dumpster fire threatening a country wide collapse on a weekly basis, and authoritarian began spreading further throughout the rest of the World. For me personally, I

-wrote a 26 page thesis that I will never look at again

-graduated from UC with a Neuroscience degree

-served a term as a research assistant taking care of mice

-worked at then quit my job at Staples

-Got a job at the IRS

-Got suspended from my job at the IRS due to a government shutdown that is still in effect

-started dating for the first time (though no girlfriend as of yet)

-grew even closer to my friends as we typically hung out at least twice a week

-entered a DnD campaign

-Got suspended from playing said DnD campaign

-Discovered I like Sushi

-Went to my first concert since middle school (Panic! at the Disco and Hayley Kiyoko)

-Stayed at a cabin with my friends where we played strip jenga and got lost hiking in the woods for 8 miles in a thunderstorm

-Got a mysterious disease that lasted 2 weeks from said hike

-Grew my hair out then cut 10 inches off and donated it

-My best friend got engaged, My sister went to Sweden, and my brother moved to Toledo

-Watching my puppy Cocoa grow up (though we technically got her late 2017)

And probably a lot more that I can’t remember at the moment. As per usual I spent a lot of 2018 consuming media like the nerd that I am, so I’m going to spend the rest of this far too long entry ranking my favorite things I saw/read in 2018. These will be ranked by pure enjoyment, not overall quality, and aren't meant to be an objective best of list. I just want to talk about things I like. So:

Top 5 Movies

Honorable mention- Hereditary, a fantastic and deeply unsettling film that was one of the most emotionally charged viewing experiences I’ve ever had. It would be high on the list if I had actually watched in 2018, but I only just now watched it and had made the list before hand. Still, one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen.

5-Venom-Movie was a fucking mess but it was pretty fun. I love the concept of the Symbiotes.

4-A Quiet Place-A movie with almost no sound/verbal dialogue and a great sense of suspense

3-Black Panther-Amazing sense of Style, Amazing Villain, A great Cultural achievement

2-Deadpool 2- Fantastic sense of humor, inventive fights, first big screen lgbt+ superheroes

1-Into the Spiderverse-Best animation I've seen in maybe a decade, Everything about this movie is surprisingly amazing, from the soundtrack to the character designs to the emotional resonance. This Movie can’t come out on DVD fast enough.

Top 5 Cartoons

Honorable Mention -Voltron-Disappointing Finale but 7th season had an amazing Keith/Shiro fight scene and Lotor, arguably one of the best characters in the series.

5-Rick and Morty-Not my favorite season but still smart, rewatchable, and unique episodes.

4-She Ra- Great characters and designs with the Catra/Adora conflict elevating the Series.

3-Bobs Burgers- Consistently good, funny, and relatable, My whole family enjoys it.

2-Steven Universe- Finally getting answers to alien plot, excellent art, plenty of lgbt goodness

1-Hilda-An incredibly inventive new series with a truly unique and empathetic fantasy world, adorable art, a wonderful mother-daughter relationship and some of my new favorite creature designs. The atmosphere this series creates is one I want to live in forever.

Top 5 TV Shows

Honorable Mention- Killing Eve, Like Hereditary I did not watch this until 2019, but I adored Villanelle’s strange psychopathy and the very lesbian tension between her and Eve.

Honorable Mention-The Haunting of the Hill House-Great character building episodes, neat effects, and a great building tension, an underwhelming finale brings it down a bit.

5-Stranger Things-Inferior to the 1st season but still great characters and interesting plot

4-Game of Thrones-Lots of plot contrivances but every episode was still massively entertaining.

3-Good Place-Genuinely great twist with creative ideas and a solid critique of moral philosophy

2-Dirk Gently-Batshit insane, quirky, hilarious, with absolutely amazing characters and writing.

1-Brooklyn 99-One of the best shows on TV, every episode is hilarious and heartfelt, I love every cast member. Ontop of having an amazing sense of humor, B99 is one of the most progressive shows on television, and continually address relevant issues in a tactful and good natured way.

Top 5 Anime

Honorable Mention-Zombieland Saga- a fun show with a creative spin on the idol genre, the heartfelt relations between the characters were a highlight, as was the presence of a trans idol.

5-Aggretsuko-Incredibly relatable with adorable and lovable characters.

4-Mo Dao Zu Shi-Unique setting with a great protagonist and a slow build gay romance

3-Devilman Crybaby-An unforgettable and highly enthralling experience, plus I’m gay for Miko

2-Megalo Box-Probably Deserves to be #1 for its fantastic sense of style, tension, amazingly choreographed fights, lovable protagonist and ‘Antagonist’, and incredible pacing.

1-Reincarnated Slime-This anime is just the ultimate escapist fantasy. Every week I look forward to watching the stupidly op and likable protagonist make friends with everyone he meets, build a peaceful city from scratch, overpower everyone with neat abilities, try his best to avoid conflicts, and comment on how hot everyone around him is. It's the equivalent of playing an RPG and doing every side quest you can to make everyone happy, I love it. It's just very Chill and pretty.

Top 5 Comics

Honorable Mention-Space Battle Lunchtime-Cute lgbt+ characters and fun concept, but short for now

5-Moonstruck-My ideal fantasy world with fun and vibrant fantasy designs and a highly diverse cast of lgbt+ characters, but only just beginning with a lot of room for further character development.

4-Trust-fantastic art and an intriguing setting with a mysterious but interesting plot

3-MotorCity-Stylish protagonist with an adorable girlfriend and an interesting supernatural twist.

2-Saga-Creative and exciting space opera that introduces lots of likable characters and then kills them.

1-The Adventure Zone-My favorite Fantasy Story of all time getting translated into a visual medium. While the first Volume was not quite as good as the Podcast (Though I don’t believe that’s possible anyway), it still had much of the great humor and characters with some lovely art and a condensed story.

Top 5 Web Series

Honorable Mention- Game Grumps-Not sure if I want to count Lets Plays but this channel brings me so much joy. House Party, Doodle Doods, and the 10 Minute Power Hours were highlights.

5-Monster Pop-Great colorful character designs and complex character conflicts with ample lgbt+ content

4-Buzzfeed Unsolved-very interesting and weird events with hilarious commentary, the hosts have a great chemistry and play well off each other.

3-Their Story-My favorite lesbians, stylish, cute, and fun, wish it updated more often.

2-19 Days-Amazing slow build romances with incredibly fun characters and interactions, Grade A Homoerotic tension.

1-Ava's Demon-Some of my favorite art and character designs in any Media, The plot is amazing and fairly unpredictable, I feel incredibly excited every time I see it has updated.

Well that’s all for now. Next time will be my favorite ships of 2018, as their were some interesting couples this year.

#Weekly Blog #1/11/2019

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robin97 · 5 years

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Tagged by @zany-the-nerd thank you!!! :D

Top 5 Movies You Watched in 2018:

Bohemian Rhapsody

Spider-Man into the Spiderverse

Venom

Deadpool 2

Ocean’s 8

Top 5 TV shows in 2018:

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

(it’s the only one i’ve watched and rewatched from start to finish asdfghjk)

Top 5 songs of 2018:

Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee

Shrike by Hozier

What I need by Hayley Kiyoko and Kehlani

Make me feel by Janelle Monae

Killer Queen by Queen

Top 5 books you read in 2018:

Far Cry Absolution

Day By Day Armageddon

Some dog training book I got for Christmas

I’ve started reading Snotgirl comic books

I left this list for last bc i don’t read and im so ashamed (2019 years resolution: read MORE!!!)

Five Good/Positive things that happened to you in 2018:

We’ve adopted a dog!!!!

A mutual I really admire who I’ve always wanted to be friends with started talking to me!!!

I...sort of...came out to my dad...I told him i’m still looking for the right label but im def not straight and the funny thing is that he told me he already knew asdfghjkl

I’ve played so many cool videogames omg

I also played coop for the first time with my best friend @water-whisp which was awesome XD and I also got to hear her voice for the first time ever!!!!

I’m tagging @rckham @weeelllp and @verypurplepenguins

#tag game #personal #thank you!!!#i always feel like im bothering people when i actually do tag someone so you don't have to do it if you don't want to of course!!!!

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onimiman · 5 years

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Halloween 2018 Film Retrospective (no major spoilers ahead)

Throughout the entirety of the month of October 2018, I had watched a movie everyday that was, in at least some tangential way, related to Halloween. I can't really call all of them horror films (and to find out why, please see below), although I will say that many of them were unfortunately films that ranged from mediocre to downright unwatchable; had I not been forcing myself to watch these movies for the month, I would have given up ten minutes or so in. And I know I'm a bit late to the party since I'm only posting this on November 3rd, but fuck it, here's the list anyway. So without further ado, let's begin this retrospective with not the first film I watched this October, but the last film I watched for September, which I will call Film #0.

#0: The Babysitter (2017)

The plot: A twelve-year-old boy still hangs out with his babysitter when his parents are away, and just as he is developing deeper feelings for her, he learns a dark secret about her and her friends. This prompts him to undergo a night of survival that forces him to grow up and move on from his own feelings of inadequacy.

My thoughts: This movie feels like it was somehow a holdover script from the 1990s; when the film brings up an element from 1996's hit movie Independence Day, a movie that no one gives a shit about anymore (see how its sequel, 2016's Independence Day: Resurgence, flopped hard at the box office), it serves as only one piece of evidence for that claim. However, I did find the movie to be quite fun nonetheless, even if not all of the jokes in this horror comedy quite landed the way they intended to, but to me, it did have a stable story structure and everything storywise paid off with what was established early on. It's an easy less than 90 minutes to kill on Netflix and I recommend it even if you're not a horror fan.

#1: Leatherface (2017)

The plot: In this prequel to Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, we see the birth of the cannibalistic Sawyer family's iconic member turn into this film's titular villain.

My thoughts: By all means, this was a stupid and unnecessary film that shouldn't have been made. But I went into this expecting to simply be entertained by the violence and gore that was to come about. And was I? Yes, I was, and admittedly, the film did make me feel stupid in misleading me as to who Leatherface was going to be, even though there was a piece of evidence in the movie that did make me think, “Naw, it couldn't be.” So, for that, I can't completely shit on this film. If you're not a fan of gore, you'll despise this movie, but for me, it's a guilty pleasure by far.

#2: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The plot: In this remake of Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre... pretty much the same shit from that film occurs in this one with only a few slight differences.

My thoughts: Having watched this not long after watching Leatherface, I knew that I was going to get something significantly more conventional, and boy did I get it. It's as boring and unmemorable as most other horror films from the 2000s are, and if I wasn't doing this retrospective, I would have forgotten this one altogether. And moreover, the kills in this are so much more disappointing than in Leatherface, with little to no gore here, so I can't even watch this from the POV of basic primal enjoyment. Skip this one whether you're a horror fan or not.

#3: Goosebumps (2015)

The plot: What starts off as a boy-meets-girl story turns into a spooktacular tale of adventure that involves stopping an army of monsters that come directly from the mind of children's horror author R.L. Stine.

My thoughts: This is a movie that I imagined that I would have enjoyed watching as a kid every now and then, especially during Halloween, but as it stands, it's a little too dull for me and it makes me question what kind of threat do any of these monsters pose to our characters if they never actually kill anyone. It's still fun, if even in a standard way, and Jack Black as R.L. Stine, while incredibly hokey in the role, is obviously having a lot of fun here, so for that, I guess I can recommend this one if you have kids. There's nothing in here that'll actually scare them (unless they're a young Justin Bieber type who'll have nightmares over fucking Scooby-Doo) so you won't have anything to worry about showing them this.

#4: Silent Hill (2006)

The plot: When a young woman takes her adopted daughter to a ghost town called Silent Hill to solve the mystery of the girl's nightmares, they are quickly separated from one another and plunged into a dark demented world with hints of a core secret that must be solved.

My thoughts: I heard about how bad this one was for years, but as I was watching it once the characters actually reached Silent Hill, I found myself enjoying it and finding it to be a legitimately scary movie. The problem? The payoff at the end. I don't know if this is the payoff in the game, but the solution somehow felt a little too mundane and I kind of eye-rolled at the film's jabs at religion (and I speak as someone who's not religious at all). Decent movie for the most part, but I can't really recommend it on account of where it all leads.

#5: Venom (2018)

The plot: When disgraced San Francisco journalist Eddie Brock sneaks into the lab owned by the business magnate who ruined his career, he is bonded to an alien parasite who gives him extraordinary abilities and the antihero persona of Venom. Together, Eddie and Venom must work together if they are to take down business magnate Carlton Drake and the symbiote that he bonded to, Riot, before they can unleash a symbiote invasion upon Earth.

My thoughts: Okay, I know this is kind of cheating because it's not really a horror film in a conventional sense, but since the movie deals with a man being bonded to something that can kill him from the inside if they are both not properly fed, I thought I'd include this movie in this retrospective. Now, with that being said, I found this movie to be pretty standard for a superhero film, and in the year that films like Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, and Deadpool 2 came out, Venom looks kind of subpar in comparison. However, as standard as the story and action scenes were, I still enjoyed it for what it was, and as cliched as it is to say this now, Tom Hardy as both Eddie and Venom have some magnificent chemistry that makes me want to see more of them in a sequel. I'd recommend it, but with this stipulation: Only if you're not too versed in superhero films.

#6: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

The plot: A pair of mysterious death leads a medical doctor and the daughter of one of the victims to investigate a conspiracy in a Halloween mask-producing factory that can have far-reaching consequences.

My thoughts: I regret seeing this movie for only one reason: That this wasn't the film I saw for October 31st, because this is, by far, the most Halloweeniest movie I have ever seen. Otherwise, I enjoyed this movie more than I did the original 1978 Halloween or any of its sequels or remakes (which I'll get to later in this retrospective). While not exactly having the best atmosphere, Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a very interesting movie that is draped in its titular holiday, with a unique premise to boot, that is kind of suspenseful, even if it doesn't have a real resolution. It's a film I wouldn't mind rewatching for next year, especially if it's a rainy day.

#7: Final Girl (2015)

The plot: A teenage girl is trained in rigorous self-defense techniques by a mysterious man for the purpose of combating those who seek to wrong others.

My thoughts: As trite as that premise may sound, it's still very interesting in execution, especially if one is familiar with horror movie tropes like the defenseless teenage girl who wins at the end despite all odds against her. It's decently acted and directed, it runs at just the right length, and if I have any complaints about it, I just wish we went into this movie with our killers believing that this was just going to be another of their victims so that we could be surprised at the turn of events. Other than that mil critique, it's a quaint, simple film that you could watch on Netflix on a rainy day like the previous movie above.

#8: ThanksKilling (2008)

The plot: A 500-year-old talking turkey is brought back to life via dog urine on his grave and intends to kill the nearest people nearby.

My thoughts: This movie was an abominable piece of shit that's as unbelievable in every way as the premise that I laid out above. I'm not even joking about the dog piss thing either; that's how the killer comes back. The filmmaking here is student-level amateurish, the acting in it is jaw-droppingly bad, and this film's attempts at trying to be humorous make me want to punch a cat. Never watch this movie ever.

#9: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

The plot: Ten years after his killing spree in 1978's Halloween and 1981's Halloween II, Michael Myers has returned (as the title would indicate). With his sister Laurie Strode having died in a car accident in between films, Michael's new target is his niece, Jamie Lloyd, and his titular return renews the carnage that his psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis, must stop.

My thoughts: A fairly dull film that's only half as decent as the first two films and nowhere near as entertaining as the third. The acting on the parts of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis and Danielle Harris's turn as Jamie Lloyd were the bright spots in this film, and the ending is famous for being one of the most shocking things in this series that is never followed up on. Unfortunately, I can't recommend anyone watch this, whether you're a normie or a Halloween fan, especially considering what follows...

#10: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

The plot: Pretty much the same shit as the last movie only with more self-aware corniness this time around and a shittier Michael Myers mask.

My thoughts: Ditto from what the plot described. I feel bad for Pleasance and Harris here, they are way too good for this movie.

#11: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

The plot: Michael Myers finally kills his niece Jamie Lloyd, but now must go after her child as per instructions from the Cult of Thorn. But not if Dr. Loomis, Kara Strode, and Tommy Doyle have anything to say about it!

My thoughts: If you thought that how I delivered this plot wasn't exactly all that Halloweeny, believe me, this movie doesn't deserve to be treated with that kind of respect. I honestly don't want to say anything more about this movie except for these two things: what an awful last movie for Donald Pleasance to go out on before he died, and for a first movie, who woulda thought that Paul Rudd could be so damn boring?

#12: Halloween II (2009)

The plot: Director Rob Zombie takes one last shit on the Halloween franchise after his 2007 remake of the first movie debacle. Is it sad that this movie gets less of a respectful plot synopsis than the last three Halloween movies discussed on this list?

My thoughts: I saw Rob Zombie's 2007 Halloween remake in the theater, and it was one of the worst movies I'd seen on the big screen. I'm so glad I missed out on this one when this came out in theaters because holy fuck, this one makes Zombie's first Halloween look like a masterpiece in comparison. I could go on to explain why for those of you haven't seen these movies, but all I have to do is point you to Phelan Porteus's reviews of Rob Zombie's Halloween movies; he'll explain it all.

#13: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

The plot: Deranged child murderer Fred Krueger returns from the dead in the form of a dream demon to kill the teenage offspring of the people who murdered him through those teenagers' dreams.

My thoughts: Finally, a legitimately good movie on this list that I don't have to dismiss as just mindless fun or even scary but with a bad payoff at the end like with Silent Hill. This movie is good even if you're not a horror fan; I whole-heartedly recommend this. And if nothing else, it's interesting to see how young Johnny Depp was, what with this being his first movie, and I could see just what the ladies saw in him back then.

#14: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

The plot: Freddy's back! And this time, he intends to enter the real world through the form of a troubled teenage boy who may or may not have some repressed feelings about himself...

My thoughts: This movie is about as subtle in its homo-eroticism as a series of Michael Bay explosions (not that I'm against homo-eroticism, since I'm a bisexual myself, I just think that this movie was a little too on the nose with that kind of stuff). And while I did find this movie to be surface-level enjoyable for the creative kills, I can't help but think that this was kind of dull, especially in comparison to the first film and as we move forward with the other sequels. The worst part about this is that I find myself scratching my head as to why this is a Nightmare on Elm Street movie when, in spite of the use of dreams here, this doesn't really feel like the Freddy Krueger we know from the first movie nor does this hold up with the character we see in the subsequent sequels. I don't know how to explain it, but somehow, Freddy's characterization seems off in this one. In spite of this film's inclusion of homo-eroticism, something we seldom see in movies like this, I have no problem saying that you can skip this one.

#15: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

The plot: Nancy Thompson, the sole survivor of the first Nightmare on Elm Street, returns with Freddy Krueger this movie, and this time, she intends to help his intended victims fight back. In a sanitarium for suicidal teens with sleep disorders, Freddy intends to kill the last of the Elm Street children. But Nancy intends to utilize the help of one of the teens, Kristen Parker, who has the special ability to unite people into a single dream space and allow them to develop their own dream powers to counter Freddy. But Freddy isn't as easy to defeat as one may think.

My thoughts: Honestly, this is as good of a sequel as the first Nightmare on Elm Street deserved, as it's a unique take that manages to continue the story of the first in a natural yet unorthodox way, not unlike what Aliens did with Alien. The horror of the first film may be toned down significantly here, but at least the story was interesting, the characters were fun to watch, and Freddy is so much fun here. I recommend it for how Inception-y this movie can get, even if this doesn't have the same level of intelligence as that movie did.

#16: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

The plot: Despite his defeat at the end of the previous film, Freddy Krueger is resurrected and he finally accomplishes his goal of murdering the last of the Elm Street children, accomplishing his goal once and for all. However, Freddy isn't so satisfied; he wants more children and teens to kill, and he will get more, through Kristen Parker's friend, Alice Johnson, to whom Kristen gave her dream-sharing ability. So unless Alice can find a way to stop Freddy, the latter's fun could continue...

My thoughts: I think it's safe to say this is the point in the franchise when all the horror in Freddy Krueger is pretty much gone and replaced with fun schlocky Freddy. And you know what? I'm okay with that, because it's always great to see Robert Englund have fun in this role. And in spite of the writing not being as strong as it was in the first and third films, I still find myself caring about our characters like Alice, and I was genuinely saddened when the last of the Dream Warriors died. It's rare when I can actually feel that kind of sadness for dead meat characters like these. Fun watch, would recommend, but be prepared to look at Freddy in a different light. And stay around after the credits, as Freddy sings a hilarious rap that just made me smile.

#17: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

The plot: Freddy just can't stay dead, for now he has a new dream master to kill people through: Alice Johnson's unborn child, who spends 70% of his life in a dream state in his mother's womb. So how can Alice defeat Freddy this time without having to sacrifice her dream child in the process?

My thoughts: “Faster than a bastard maniac! More powerful than a loco-madman! It's Super-Freddy!” If you don't know what that scene is, I urge you to look it up, as it's the best scene of the whole movie and it really capitalizes on just how much of a joke Freddy Krueger has become at this point in the series. However, unlike the bastardization of a character like Michael Myers in, say, one of Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, Freddy is still an enjoyable enough character where even one who despises the Nightmare sequels overall can still find little jewels like the aforementioned line. Give it a watch if only for just that one scene.

#18: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

The plot: Freddy Krueger has all but run out of kills in his hometown, and now he wants to expand nationally. But not if his daughter has anything to say about it!

My thoughts: This has become pure comedy at this point. But my God this is golden. When one of this movie's kills is an extended scene of a guy jumping around with cartoonish sound effects to boot while dreaming that he's in a video game being played by Freddy, you know that the filmmakers know what kind of movie they're making. And I enjoyed this as one of the most guilty pleasure films I'd ever seen. I do think that the film ended on a somewhat anticlimactic note, but alas, the film was an interesting end to Freddy's evolution as a character of horror to a character of dark comedy, and for that, I recommend this one.

#19: Halloween (2018)

The plot: Forty years after he terrorized Haddonfield, Michael Myers has once again escaped from Smith's Grove Hospital to return to where his reign of terror all started. But this time, the one who got away, Laurie Strode, is ready for him... but her daughter and granddaughter may not be.

My thoughts: Aside from Jamie Lee Curtis's fantastic performance in this film, I thought this was just a run-of-the-mill horror film that's competent enough and has its moments but is otherwise forgettable if you forget that this is a Halloween film. If you're a Halloween fan, I think you'll be satisfied; it's certainly better than the majority of its sequels (especially The Curse of Michael Myers and Resurrection) but that's all.

#20: Meet the Blacks (2016)

The plot: During the Purge, the Black family (yes, that's their last name, and yes, the film does make several racially inappropriate jokes about it) move into an upper class white neighborhood where they are confronted by their patriarch's past in the forms of those he's financially wronged in some way or another.

My thoughts: This is only the second worst movie I've seen for this retrospective (yes, ThanksKilling is number one). Aside from all the racist jokes going on here, this movie is just a failure of a comedy and as a spoof/satire of the Purge franchise. It doesn't say anything new or fresh or in any interesting ways, and in fact, some of the “comedy” here just doesn't make any sense (then again, I just might be missing out on a reference, as if that's supposed to justify bad comedy). This movie may have been less than 90 minutes, but my God, it felt like an eternity having to slog through this piece of shit. Do I honestly even need to say skip this one?

#21: The Rezort (2015)

The plot: Years after the cancellation of the zombie apocalypse, the remaining zombies have been rounded up to an island owned by a private company where people can come and pay as tourists to shoot zombies. But when a conscientious objector sabotages the island's systems, the zombies quickly take over and many people die. So a small group of tourist survivors must reach a rendezvous point at the end of the island if they are to escape not only the zombies but also a strafing bombardment meant to eliminate the zombie outbreak.

My thoughts: For a movie that was obviously conceptualized as Jurassic Park (or Jurassic World since this park is actually running) but with zombies instead of dinosaurs, this movie ain't half-bad. The characters are nothing to write home about, although there is a Dirty Harry-type I was routing for the entire movie, and the action and plot are pretty standard for a zombie flick. Still, it's a mildly fun time and I recommend you give it a go.

#22: Scream (1996)

The plot: A mysterious serial killer who is savvy in the ways of the slasher subgenre of horror is gradually killing off various people around high schooler Sidney Prescott. So who could it be?

My thoughts: Talk about a standard slasher flick elevated by the principle of being meta. I enjoyed it, yes, and with the way the film is constructed as a whodunit, it certainly manages to stand out as above average overall. I could see how this was revolutionary back in the 1990s, but now, with pretty much every single genre movie being self-aware in some way or another, I just kind of shrug my shoulders at it as an experience. I think it helps if you're familiar with the slasher subgenre if you're to watch this, but I think it's a good enough film to stand on its own to someone who hasn't seen a slasher flick their whole lives, if only for the story.

#23: Hush (2016)

The plot: A woman with an instinctive writer's mind who is both deaf and mute in a cabin in the woods is thrust into a deadly cat-and-mouse game with a deranged serial killer who wants to toy with her before he kills her.

My thoughts: This is a movie that squeezes every bit of tension and suspense it can in the eighty-something minutes it has, and it makes good use of that tension and suspense in conjunction with its expert pacing. At no point did I think anything was dragged out; everything here was just as long as it needed to be, and it was all resolved in a satisfactory (and quite bloody) way that left me feeling, “Yep, that was a good time.”

#24: The Bye Bye Man (2017)

The plot: There is a demonic entity known as the Bye Bye Man who will psychologically torture you before he kills you if you think or say his name. And he's doing that to three young adults who are all living together in a haunted house. Yeah...

My thoughts: A very forgettable, subpar horror film with an antagonist with an awful name and no memorable appearance. Skip.

#25: Scream 2 (1997)

The plot: One year after the Woodsboro killings, Sidney Prescott is once again haunted by the return of Ghostface as she is attending college this time around. But who could Ghostface be this time? And what meta-commentaries could this movie bring forth about the slasher genre and sequels both?

My thoughts: This is a film that feels like it was planned out from the beginning as a companion piece to the first film; by that, I mean that it feels like writer Kevin Williamson always intended to have this movie be made after Scream had come out. And considering that this movie was released only a year after its predecessor, I think that theory may be true (then again, I haven't done any research for this movie, so for all I know, Williamson and Wes Craven didn't even intend for there to be a sequel in the first place). Regardless, this feels like a natural progression of the first film and while not necessarily surpassing it in terms of quality, I feel like it lives up to the first Scream in a satisfactory way.

#26: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

The plot: After years of killing horny teenage counselors at Camp Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees is finally blown away into literal bits and pieces by the FBI. However, his spirit lives on as his essence is passed on from person to person until he can find a permanent new body through a living blood relative, and all the while, his killing spree resumes.

My thoughts: As a movie that was intended to be the finale to Jason Voorhees, this did have some silly moments in it like Freddy's Dead but not nearly as over-the-top. And it is a little disappointing to not have Jason in his prime form like he was in Friday the 13th Part VI to VIII and, again, it was a little bit more disappointing than Freddy's Dead (which is far more entertaining), especially since this movie retcons so much of Jason's mythology that it feels like no one who worked on this movie has ever seen a Jason movie. So, yeah, I can't recommend this one unless you're a Friday the 13th fan (and even then, I don't think you'll like it).

#27: Terrifier (2016)

The plot: A mute man in a creepy clown costume stalks multiple victims in a condemned apartment complex with ruthless killing methods that make him worthy of the moniker Terrifier.

My thoughts: Holy shit, this movie was fucking creepy... and I fucking loved it. Of course, I can't recommend it to everyone, as this movie was also ridiculously over-the-top with its violence and gore. I don't want to give anything away, but as an example, there is a scene that involves our killer, Art the Clown, with a saw and a woman's who's upside down that's one of the most shocking things I've seen... and, again, I fucking loved it. It was an unnerving film that's worthy of having been watched for this month.

#28: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

The plot: Take Jane Austin's feminist classic Pride and Prejudice and then shoe-horn a half-baked zombie plot into it. Okay...

My thoughts: I'm not familiar with Pride and Prejudice, so I went into this completely blind. But with that being said, I still thought that this was one of the most pointless, unfunny and unexciting parodies I've seen. The action scenes aren't all that good and it makes me wonder why this was adapted to the big screen. And as for the parts that are actually in Pride and Prejudice (at least as far as I can guess), I thought they were competently done, but they're just not for me. I guess someone who really Pride and Prejudice might like it, but that's only if they have a taste for zombie violence, too. Otherwise, skip this one; it's just dull.

#29: Zombeavers (2014)

The plot: A container of radioactive waste falls from a truck and floats down a river to infect a number of beavers that are nearby a cabin where a bunch of horny teenagers are. And those beavers become zombie beavers, or zombeavers.

My thoughts: I thought I was going into a movie that was going to be on the same level of bad as ThanksKilling, but thankfully, while the comedy isn't anything to write home about, the acting is at least competent and I was amused by the events that were going on. It was interesting to see what would happen if a zombeaver infected a human, and there were decent amount of subverting of expectations as to who was going to die first and who would live (and not in a Rian Johnson way either). I could see this movie not working for everyone, but it's fun enough as a creature feature with a supernatural element to it.

#30: Event Horizon (1997)

The plot: In 2047, a spaceship dubbed the Event Horizon mysteriously reappears near the edge of Earth's solar system and a salvage team is sent to investigate what happened. But as they arrive, they find that the ship may be more than just a ship now...

My thoughts: As much as I'd love to see what this movie would have looked like had the filmmakers not toned back on the violence and gore, I was still satisfied by what we got here. Sam Neill delivers a deliciously evil performance once Dr. Weir goes to the dark side that it practically borders on Tim Curry territory, and I thought the movie was a good space horror film that was just original enough to be its own thing and not be a knockoff of, say, Alien. Give it a watch; the violence you do see here ain't that bad.

#31: Halloweed (2016)

The plot: A couple of stoners move to a small town so that one of them can get away from the reputation of being the son of a now-dead serial killer. But what these stoners don't know is that they've arrived just in time for a slew of killings to start as Halloween approaches.

My thoughts: I'm mentally kicking myself for having this be the movie I ended the month of October on. This was one of the lamest comedies I've ever seen in my life; I can't remember laughing at all in this bland turd. And it could hardly qualify as a slasher film since the slasher killings don't start until there's about 49 minutes left in the film, and even then, it's barely focused on for the rest of the movie until it's resolved at the end. Skip this and don't let it be anywhere on your viewing block for next Halloween.

And that's it. Those were all 31 of the films I'd seen for the month of Halloween, one for each day. It was quite a venture, but one worth the time if only for bragging rights if not for entertainment (especially since very few of these movies were any real good). So please leave a comment, let me know if you saw any of these movies, if not for this past Halloween, then if you have seen any of these at all, and if so, let me know if you agree or disagree. Until then, here's to better films next Halloween!

*This post has been paid for and sponsored by Silver Shamrock, Inc. When you want quality masks at affordable prices, and a guarantee that they won't unleash killer insects and snakes that will trigger a potential apocalypse, look no further for a Happy Happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

#halloween #halloween films #film retrospective

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