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hatchet-boy · 2 months

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Judging SPN Seasons By How Messy It Would Be If Sam And Dean Started Having Sex

Season 1: freshly reunited. no one else in their world but them. they are obsessed with each other. they would fuck like feral dogs and it would make them so much worse. also dad is there. unspeakably messy. 12/10

Season 2: dad just died. the grief sex would be more tears than come and at least one of them is probably saying johns name mid fuck. dean might have to kill baby brother (TM) and so the obvious reaction to this would be extremely possessive sex. sam would not like that attitude (with the one exception of if it happens when hes drunk in playthings). messy in even grosser but marginally less feral ways than szn one. 13/10

Season 3: milder. still obsessed with each other but more settled into it now. deans turn to maybe die and sams turn to be uber-doober possessive about it. unlike sam, dean would be extremely into that. and his deal is comin due so he might as well. sad and tragic,, but not that messy. probably still more tears than come. 6/10

Season 4: dean just came back from hell to find sam fucking his new demon girlfriend. the angels are there. they're still hunting but Stuff Is Going On and god knows they need to be grounded with each other to make it through. sex would probably help. would do the opposite than make things messier. would be vicious. definite chance dean might try to feed sam his blood. 4/10

Season 5: apocalypse fuck. oh fuck. ruby is dead. angels and death and demons and god and destiny. sam and dean are the most experienced and secure theyve ever been and yet. the whole damn world is about to explode. and yet they are still tortured and annoyed by the goofy everday hunting horrors. fucking would be nice for them, would remind them they belong to each other. they think theyre gonna die so the consequences wouldnt matter a whole lot. less insulated and worried about holy judgment so the incest thing may be a bother now. 2/10

Season 6: you fuck your brother but its not your brother he's different in ways you cant explain but you havent seen him in months and you thought you lost him and hes not quite right but fuck he looks like him and talks like him and knows everything about the two of you and he fucks like a greek god and hes mean as a motherfucker in bed but you can take it its fine its worth it its sam godammit-

15/10

Season 7: stranded up the creek without even a twig for a paddle. both brothers are destroyed and traumatised and forcing each other forward by force of necessity and a brotherly hand on the back of the neck. at least its just them alone together (dean please ignore the hallucination of lucifer sitting in the corner and judging our cock size-). sex would go terribly and be the most unsexy sex ever sexed. but they would probably like the closeness if sam could handle it. messy but wouldnt ruin them long term. there would be a terrible Dick joke. 8/10

Season 8: WHOA BOY WHAT A DOOZY. BOTH BROTHERS HAVE PARAMOURS ON THE SIDE WHOM THE OTHER FUCKIN HATES. DEAN IS PURGATORY FERAL AND HAS ONE EYE ON A VAMP. SAM IS SOFT HAS HIS PINKY FINGER TWINED AROUND SOME RANDOM GIRL. WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK FOR ME?? // YOU TOLD ME NOT TO!! // YOU TRUST A DAMN VAMPIRE OVER YOUR OWN BROTHER?? // YOU HIT A DOG... meanwhile sam is doing the trials losing his mind again and dean is losing his mind about that. letting you down was my biggest sin//there is nothing i would ever put in front of you. messy. 10/10.

Season 9: less than ideal with sam possessed by and angel. dean is rocking with the guilt and confliction. the mark of cain is also making him a bit feral again. theyre safe together in the bunker but thats already claustrophobic enough sex might just suffocate them both. pretty messy. 7/10

Season 10: your big brother is an angry angry man but its not his fault right??? its because of the mark right?? he cant control it and you love him and you want to stay in the safe house/bunker/tomb with him you dont want to leave anymore and you need him. youve both been through enough. you deserve this. there would be minimal messiness caused by sex with your brother rn. exception to those few weeks where he was a demon. 2/10

Season 11: gods sister is here and its the apocalypse again. dean hates what he has with Her. at least his sammy is here. at least theyre together. still crazy about each other. gay incest sex is the most reasonable reaction. god might find out- but then again, he and his sister are pretty wacked out together too, and are we not made in gods image?. 1/10

Season 12: Mom is here and so is lucifer and his kid and also the cunt ass brits. not ideal. minimal messiness so long as no one finds out. and fuck all them anyway its pretty clear sam and dean can only ever really trust each other. sex would be affirming and safe here. they are absolutely fucking in the kitchen to the smell of toast and coffee. dean discovers he has an std because no its not normal that your balls have iched like that for the past four years you need to go to a doctor and dean i swear on the impala if you gave it to me- . 3/10

Season 13 to 15: fellas is it gay to have sex with your brother who you've been functionally married to for over a decade? probably not right ha ha. if they havent already fucked by now theyre not going to. theyre just gonna be intensely platonically married until they die. they both have erectile dysfunction by this point . sex would mean everything to them but change nothing they would still be old and married in their bunker with the devils kid tomorrow regardless. they dont care what people think anymore. fuck all messiness. 1/10

Post Season 15 Finale/Heaven: we deserve a soft epilogue my love sammy. mildly concerned about being kicked out of heaven for incest but with everything else theyve done they still made it there. it would be the least of their sins. lovely soft and nothing hurts. can you make a sex tape in heaven? 0/10

#labelling this one under 'things i spent too much time on but love anyway'#constructive criticism is more than welcome here #spn #samdean #wincest #first times #edit to clarify:#this isnt rating how /good/ it would be if they got together in each szn. just how /messy/ it would be

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detroit-become-moomin · 10 months

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Hey there! Completely forgot to post about this here, but - charity project for trans kids!!

POINTY THINGS, a folk horror collection written by me, illustrated by @ehlihr, and edited by @nimagine is now available for purchase online through Pride 2024. All revenue raised during the upcoming year will go to LGBT+ mutual aid orgs defending trans youth! In this collection you'll find:

55 pages & 22k+ words of story

unsettling megafauna

a trans take on red riding hood

fun facts about 16th-century beheading practices!

deeply unsexy vampirism

haunting-as-dysphoria

3/5 stories brought to life in spooky, atmospheric detail by elisar's illustrations!

The charities we'll be donating proceeds to include Equality Texas and the Transgender Education Network, but I'm also keeping an eye out for other mutual aid orgs defending the rights of trans youth in the American Southwest.

🩸PURCHASE HERE (GUMROAD) 🩸

🩸 OR HERE (KO-FI)🩸

#if you wanna support but you're not a big horror fan or just new to the genre #you can find a list of content warnings next to the table of contents #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #horror #folk horror #creative writing #i never post and i neverrr know how to tag things lmfao i'm doing my best here #horror story #horror fiction #queer books #trans writers #lgbt horror #queer horror #uhhhhh god what are the hashtags you're supposed to use #genuinely i am so bad at social media #trans horror #lgbt writers #my writing

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roomwithanopenfire · 13 days

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Six Sentence Sunday

Happy Sunday!! Thanks for the tags @blackberrysummerblog @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @rimeswithpurple @thewholelemon unsexy line break to ward against the tag curse @monbons and @cutestkilla!! I love seeing what everyone's working on <3

Summer is underway for me! I've started working evenings and weekends at my local library again and I missed this job. Today I had to hunt down twelve books that had the wrong shelf location, very exciting stuff. And I've finally finished organizing all the children's book bins, which had been in disarray ever since I left for the school year.

Been writing and editing this week!! Here's a snippet from my COBB fic. (Context? What's that?)

“What the—?” she slides her laptop away and leans closer to me, beckoning me with a finger. “Where’d you get that? What the fuck happened?” I don’t move any closer. “What do you think? Figure it out yourself.” “Figure it out yourthelf,” Fiona mocks—the asshole and she darts out to grab my arm, pulling me in closer. “Let me look at it.” I shake her hand off of me—still too on edge for that. And I keep my mouth resolutely shut. “Say ‘Ahhh’” she says, tapping my jaw. “Fuck off.”

more under the cut because i have yet to learn brevity

And I've been steadily working on editing more and more chapters of Proof of Life! I actually love editing, is that normal? How do you all feel about editing? There's no full snippet I can give without ruining the Impact this chapter will hopefully have, but here's four lines of dialogue said to Baz:

“No food, no water, nothing but blood, huh?”

“No, I don’t regret it. I would make that choice again and again.”

“No offence, Basil, that is the most stupid thing I’ve heard.”

“That’s not because you’re a vampire, that’s because you were freaking out."

And two lines of dialogue said to Simon:

“You’re not allowed to be right, it makes you insufferable.”

“Why would you want a vampire to come back?”

Feel free to guess who's talking (there's no repeats) but when I say these are the only lines I could share, I mean it, anything else would have been way too much. Next time I'll have to switch it up and do a process post or something (even though I'm pretty sure my editing process is boring).

Tags and Hellos!

@run-for-chamo-miles @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @raenestee @artsyunderstudy @onepintobean

@prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16 @brendughh

@hertragedyconnoisseur @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs @fiend-for-culture @beastmonstertitan

@valeffelees @ileadacharmedlife @arthurkko @rbkzz @skeedelvee

@bookish-bogwitch @alexalexinii @brilla-brilla-estrellita

#hopefully the lines from proof of life are vague enough to avoid spoilers but still intriguing enough for people who are reading along asdfl #six sentence sunday #snowbaz #carry on #my writing #proof of life #this is a long post today my bad

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comicaurora · 2 years

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You often talk about not being a fan of misery porn, extra gorey scenes or grimdark stuff but you're also a big fan of Netflix Castlevania. Do you think that show lacks these aspects or are they done in a way that doesn't put you off?

It's weird. I didn't expect to like it, for all the reasons you stated. But Castlevania pulled off Dark Fantasy in a way I wasn't expecting, and I think what made it work was the protagonists.

Trevor is a standard-issue dark fantasy miseryguts on first appearance, but the crucial detail is he starts the story at his emotional darkest hour and goes up from there. He's drunk and broke and miserable and he kind of hates everybody - but, and this is critical, he still does the right thing. He makes a perfect foil to Dracula, who experienced very similar heartbreak and decided to work out his grief by burning the world down. Trevor's family and legacy was destroyed by the church and the ignorance of scared, normal people, just like Lisa Tepes was. Trevor being worn down to the bone, miserable and isolated, and still at his core being unable to abandon innocents to die, is not a grimdark concept. It's sneakily a very hopeful one, and, crucially, the story rewards him for trying.

This, of course, leads to Sypha entering the story when Trevor rescues her from the cyclops, and Sypha is a complete breath of fresh air in the story so far. She's unburdened by the angst and tragedy that weighs on Trevor - which is why he, at one point, describes her as a hero while he is not. Sypha and Trevor do equally heroic activities, but Sypha has the hero attitude while Trevor just does it as a job (and a bone-deep sense of justice he refuses to admit is there). Sypha is cheerful, curious and more than willing to crack jokes at Trevor's expense, while still seeming grounded and sensible enough to avoid feeling like a manic pixie dream girl. As we learn more about her, it becomes clear that part of the reason she feels so much less miserable than everyone around her is because of her ludicrously powerful magic that means she doesn't need to worry so much about the rains of hellspawn and nightmare chimeras in the woods and stuff. Sypha also works as a mirror to Lisa, in that they are both educated women who understand the importance of community-maintenance and use their knowledge to help people around them, even at the cost of being seen as a witch. Even though she goes through some heavy stuff, she also retains her hopeful and heroic demeanor and goes beyond just saving people's lives - she actively works to help them rebuild so they can do more than just survive. This is, again, antithetical to the supposed grimdark of the setting.

Alucard is kind of in a story of his own and plays the tragic hero tropes a lot more straight, but that's why he's not the only protagonist. Trevor and Sypha foil off him, mostly by taking the piss and allowing him to lighten up a bit. Alucard probably has the bleakest worldview of the trio, feeling utterly isolated by his half-vampire nature and really only saving humanity on the principle that "Lisa would not approve of genocide in her name." The story makes it clear that his Lone Tragic Hero thing is actively deeply unhealthy and also very unsexy, and he's at his happiest (and sexiest) when he has friends and loved ones around to support him and make sure he showers.

Over and over again the story drives home that saving lives is necessary heroism, but so is saving knowledge and teaching people how to live better lives, because the ultimate goal of the story is to fulfill Lisa's dream of a better world - where people won't be sick and scared all the time. That concept is anti-grimdark. And the rules of the story reward this endeavor over and over again. Not everyone they try to save survives, and not every heroic attempt ends in victory - Lisa died trying to fulfill that dream, after all - but the dream is bigger than any one person, and every attempt has tangible lasting consequences that make the world just a bit better and inspire other people to carry the dream forward. Hidden in this dark, bloody, "everyone says fuck now" fantasy story is an unbelievably hopeful message about how one can actually go about saving the world.

And what really clinched it for me was how the show ended. It goes out of its way to bend logic and luck to reward all of our heroes for trying so hard to save the world when it would have been legitimately easier to end on a bittersweet note. This show essentially proves that it's possible to take the aesthetic of grimdark too-cool-for-school fantasy and then use it to tell an actually hopeful story where the main characters act like real people who aren't selfish assholes. Because while "realism = everyone is a selfish, petty asshole" is a tempting trope, it's more accurate to say that "realism = some people are selfish, petty assholes". It's ridiculous to act like the real world has no selfless, kind people in it.

So yea, highly recommend. Even Season 3, the comparative weak link and overall darkest point, is well worth watching.

#asks #writing stuff

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tacosaysroar · 1 year

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1) I pulled the trigger on that Stanley cup, but I took all of your critiques into account. I went with the 30 oz instead of the 40 because of warnings about heaviness when full. I measured the top rack of my dishwasher to confirm it would, indeed, fit. (That would’ve been a deal breaker.) Etc, etc. So far, I’m pretty happy with it. I still think it’s overpriced, but being able to put it in the dishwasher is worth it.

2) My father gave me a box of old medications to take to today’s Consumer Drug Take-Back event for work, and I’m greatly amused by the instinct to both hide them in a sealed box but also LABEL that box “EXPIRED MEDS” on multiple sides so anyone who might be interested in prescription drugs will know what’s in there.

3) I love this deodorant brand but not this line. I don’t want to smell like candy when I sweat. But I will say, that gummy bear one is astonishing. They got it 100% right. You’d swear you just stuck your face in a haribo bag.

4) I’m unbelievably exhausted today. It must be a PMS thing because it’s dramatic. It’s like that exhaustion women get in vampire films after they’ve been a clueless midnight snack for several nights in a row. (Note to Self: make sure your windows are closed tonight.)

5) At not-quite 44 I have FINALLY learned to raise my right eyebrow. (YESSSSS!!!) I’ve been able to raise the left one for what feels like my whole life.

6) I have a bunch of very unsexy and expensive things I need to do or buy for the house pretty soon, so of course I’ve been looking at all kinds of fun items instead. Mostly Murano glass chandeliers and luxury wallpaper and original art on Etsy. I’ll buy none of it, at least not until I’ve purchased those unsexy things, but it IS fun to daydream.

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leam1983 · 11 months

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How to make an Unsexy Character Arguably Sexy

Let's start with Count Orlok. He stares, is cadaverously rigid, has excessively long fingernails that may or may not double as claws, buck teeth that limit his Charisma factor, a few posture-related issues and a very limited wardrobe.

Keep the age factor. With a little self-esteem and proper poise, undead silverfoxes with two little tufts of hair behind their ears could be literal and figurative ladykillers.

Lose the hunch. Expose the neck, knowing that he has very little natural predators and very few enemies who could come close to slashing his throat, and standing straight would add a few inches to an already stately figure.

Imply that he's confident enough to keep his arms down and wrists unbent.

Get him on enough walks that he loses his stiffness and recovers something close to a normal walking gait.

Borrow something from the Traditionally Sexy camp, and make his gestures occasionally veer into languid or feline suggestions, with a few occasional twitches to pay homage to his origins.

Work on his people skills. A more lively face makes the buck teeth easier to integrate.

Carefully iterate on his wardrobe. Stay close to tones of black or charcoal, but go for modern suit cuts, using the sides of a well-tailored suit jacket to fill in his frame somewhat. Neckties can invoke a sense of professionalism, while bowties can also suggest the playfulness inherent to certain undead.

Keep his hands occupied. Shadow of the Vampire and a few other vampire vectors insinuate that vampires can at least hold booze down in the absence of solids other than blood, so occupy his hands with the occasional coffee cup, Martini or Scotch glass - or why not - the errant cigar or two. His now-mostly-unused lungs have to be good for something, right?

Bring it all together. A vampire doesn't need to be a Greek statue brought to life, it simply needs to command an excess of charisma and seductive power that makes onlookers disregard its obvious traits. Dude looks old enough to be your grandfather? Who cares, he's such a natural storyteller you'd sit there and drink his words for hours. He's perhaps slightly out of touch? Ah, but there's nothing like a dash of Old World charm to make even the occasional case of befuddlement in front of a smartphone look like something you'd forgive with a wink and a laugh. Too-long fingernails that look about ready to score glass? Here's a quirky anecdote that excuses it!

Know when to bring out the savagery. Orlok should only look old or feel old to first-time acquaintances, anyone who crosses him should consider themselves a target - and there's nothing more terrifying than a six-foot-five beanpole with pointy ears who unironically dabs himself in Aqua Velva that somehow manages to one-hand-smash you into his coffee table after going from "deceptively casual bon vivant" to "sheer rage" in half a second.

Oh, and he should be a well-read commentator on all things rodents and rats, very much the type to keep a few large closed vivariums of the things, all the while endearingly calling them "chaos potatoes".

And yes, I wholeheartedly believe that Modern Day Count Orlok has a capybara as a pet.

As for visual examples, I'll admit to having used Stable Diffusion on my own PC and a metric fuckton of duty-free and Creative Commons pictures to whip this up, as I cannot draw to save my life but enjoy having the ability to quickly source visual references without pestering artists strictly to prove a point. The pic itself is Creative Commons by default and I'm using it in a context covered by Fair Use - as it's my own generation on my own hardware.

So, take a look at these Orloks and tell me which one you'd strike up a conversation with.

Orlok Number 1 maintains a vague aura of menace but cleans up very well. Plus, chances are he's just giving you that sultry look because you've managed to excite something that goes beyond base predatory instincts, right? Who knows?

A little less formal for Orlok Number 2, with a bit more personality in his facial structure. He might not have that many top teeth and his underbite isn't classically sexy, but his more Business Casual attire suggests he's pulled himself together. Maybe he's just relating some juicy office gossip to someone while crossing their path in a staircase - and not being evil doesn't mean he has to stop being a little rapacious, right? Maybe you've helped him with a hostile takeover and he's giving you a few words of encouragement along with a dark chuckle or two...

Orlok 3+4 is notably softer in design, much more believable as a fairly genteel character - and that unprompted wink just sends me. It's just perfect. This is an Orlok who's brimming with Slavic witticisms and who, as suggested above, probably manages to be a fair bit of a social butterfly. I imagine him as kind, an absolutely perfect gentleman, reasonably funny and spirited with the conversation calls for it; with the sense that his sticking to modern displays of chivalry still requires a little extra focus. He'd probably give you his coat even if unprompted and just barely catch himself before pushing his attentive nature into sexism, after which he'd profusely apologize and claim that he's "still learning, you see".

#character design #count orlok #nosferatu #cw: AI Art

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measuringbliss · 2 years

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hello! have you seen the recent uncharted movie with tom holland? I saw it with family and unexpectedly really liked it lol but god damn that man should get wrecked by every character he costars with. two (2) scenes where he's crammed into a small space with an older bigger man. father figure my ass. that guy wants him carnally. idk why I'm telling you this but you needed to know.

Apologies, this starts with some negatice ramblings but I think it's worthwhile.

No I actually haven't! I have no personal affection for Tom Holland, in that I readily admit he's pretty, but he's not Pretty in the sense that I like looking at him (contrary to his Spider-Man co-star Zendaya who is gorgeous and has This Thing).

The Uncharted trailer didn't look appealing, maybe because I also don't care about Mark Wahlberg. Like the casting was uninspired and uninteresting (especially when Game!Nathan Drake was a hot guy. WELL. ACTUALLY. HE'S PRESENTED AS A HOT GUY BUT IS HE TRULY? It's like the MVU, he feels neutered, unhorny. He should be beautiful, he should be pretty, but he's mainly... boring. He doesn't have The Thing. He's like a hot guy for straight dudes but pre-Ryan Reynolds or whatever actor straight guys are all about. Seriously dudes what's with you and RR.)

Anyway so I feel like you could write an essay on how both Nathan Drakes feel unsexy and neutered and unhorny and generally boring in different ways (OG as the first mainstream big sexy dude protagonist by US standarsds, and Tom Holland by being what I already described + obviously surfing on his wave of popularity). Honestly I don't see Tom Holland as marking his generation by his craft. His roles? Sure. But his craft? Nah. He's wet white bread. He's like Riley in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, an average dude in a world filled with incredible people.

WITH THAT SAID.

I can appreciate (and encourage) the need to see a guy wrecked by an older, more masculine-seeming dude. Close quarters. You know the drill. You like it, I like it, we both like it, hell yeah. Like the concept is great but I just oddly can't bring myself to feel anything for Tom Holland. But you were absolutely right to bring this to me. It is Essential Content.

#Asks #Uncharted #Nathan Drake

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

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Hola Dani, ¿cómo estás? Espero que estés muy bien, what are you watching? What are you reading? What's going on in Sri-Lanka?

I went to the farm on Saturday, Cocoa was fine, turns out it was not a big deal like I had been repeatedly reassure but she is my baby and I was worried...

Plot twist I'm the one who is sick now! Terrible 0/10 don't recommend, extremely unsexy behavior!! 👎🏼

I'm so tired and sleepy but I refuse to let the universe take away any of the things that bring joy to my life 🙌🏼

So... on with the chapter 😌

The One with the Punishment

“A warlock from Mexico. Luca? I don’t know his last name.”

OMG Luca!!! OMFG is LUCA!!! And of course he can read minds OF COURSE!!!

“It’s you,” Magnus whispered, looking at the warlock. “You are the son of Lucifer.”

No he is not!!! He is mine!!! My baby, my child, MINE!!!!!

The little warlock smiled brightly. “Philadelphia.”

Is Ben right?? Right?? It better be Benjamin fucking Clark!!!!

Because Max’s firsts with David would also be his lasts.

Maxwell stop breaking my heart 😭😭😭

Aww... poor Chopin 🥲 same you sweet ugly demon kitty, SAME!!!

Minaaaaa!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Ok... I'm getting a headache that could be due to the tonsillitis, the lack of sleep or the fact that I actually forgot to eat dinner... either way everything is super blurry...

I'll be back with the rest in some way!!

Thank you Dani... I am love you!!! 💚💚💚💚

oh sweetling i am so sorry! i just got better yesterday and i am sending all the good and healing vibes to you! hope you recover well!

i actually watched SO MANY things in the last week. I would highly recommend Interview with The Vampire (i binged it yesterday). I also watched The Dragon Prince new season and then Big Mouth new season too. I watched Don't Worry Darling and My Policeman (i do not like Harry style's acting oof). I'm currently watching Enola Holmes 2 and hope to watch the new season of crown over the weekend.

SEE? A LOT! My screen time is gonna be so high this week.

i will ignore all the yelling about the chapter hehe.

i hope the headache feels better. SENDING LOVE 💚

#lbaf

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briarpatch-kids · 2 years

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I'm watching a very unsexy type of vampire show right now and I keep cracking up every time someone threatens to "suck you dry"

#tay dont look #minors dni with this post

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garlic-sauc3 · 2 years

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I need to make characters right now. We're writing a vampire romance right now. It will be the most unsexy thing ever.

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zipwriting · 3 months

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If Drow were actually spiders they could have. Paralesis venom. it works on chickens and rabbits and whatever and then if you bite a human or a cow it's local anathetic. do Drow have livestock down there? anthropolgy. maybe they have snakes and worms and frogs and bats and rats and moles and MONSTERS. and mushrooms and vines and maybe football fish.

Someone said Drow had heatvision instead of nightvision which to me said snakes so they can stil have retractable fangs. as a treat. i mean to be fair to the humanoid form you would have to be faster than the prey to bite it we're not and we have that controversy where we lost our jaw powers for brain powers. the fangs are aethetic.

That's a funny thing about vampires is I think boner fangs that are straight up and down are very lame the height of weird lameness. You have to have fangs 24-7. Or I think it should be like popping your ears with your jaw (only in movies, still seems lame in books). like a snake!!! it feels like no one has given them snake teeth which are also gross and unsexy TO ME other people would like it though. about vampires when people say you would need really long fangs (sure sabre teeth is very interesting, hard to hide) or shark teeth i don't really get that. bats lap up the blood yes but no other animal besides us can use straws so yes we would bite a little holes then move our mouth just a little and then be sucking it. don't be stupid. you're not taking a mouthful of flesh your just puncturing the skin. i could draw blood on you right now but yeah granted i would also be making a blood blister probably because my teeth aren't very sharp and humans bodies are not shaped to be bitten by other humans in fact no body is shaped for that. that's why animals have muzzles.

now let's talk about werewolf fangs. 10/10

#werewolf

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bu11seye · 4 months

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@prettydead sent : [ undress ] sender helps receiver undress ( elijah <3 )

the vampire's heartbeat quickens as she turns away from him . she hasn't felt vulnerable like this in awhile -- her cheeks painted pink along with the tips of her ears . jessie's wearing more layers today than normal , usually settling on jeans and a long sleeve accompanied by a jacket , but this time , she was wearing winter clothing . mittens and a hat , and even though the snow had almost no effect on her unless it was well below zero ( which it wasn't ) , it was a phantom feeling of missing the cold weather against her skin that made her wish it was. her clothes were wet , heavy , and jessie wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in blankets until she collapses.

the redhead throws her knitted hat and mittens to the side , using her cold fingers to unzip her coat . it's unsexy and bulky , but her expression softens as elijah is there to help . she's left in a sweater and she's slowly letting her forest greens trail across the original's expression , trying to gauge how he's feeling without demanding his words. she doesn't want to talk his ear off, not right now. this is new to her -- intimacy with serious intentions . he helps her with unbuttoning the sweater . there's so many fucking layers .

" i don't want you to leave . " she says simply , enunciating her words so she's clear and lines do not get crossed . " i want you to stay tonight ."

#went kinda off from the original concept but we roll #♡゙ : in character 𓈒 ୨୧ ⌇﹒— ( asks ) .#prettydead

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berenwrites · 6 months

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Dreams in the Night - Stranger Things - Steddie, Chapter 8 of 9

Dreams in the Night: But Vampires Aren't an Upside Down Thing!

Summary: Steve has been having nightmares, seeing through the eyes of a vampire like creature in Hawkins as it hunts. He puts the dreams down to past trauma and too many horror movies at Family video. He’s checked and no one’s been hurt, so even Robin agrees. However, his world is about to be turned upside down yet again as the nightmares become far too real.

Tumblr Master Chapter Listing | Also on AO3

For: @lady-lostmind (lady_lostmind on AO3)

Relationships: steddie, platonic stobin

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: ~18600

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: vampire!Eddie, Kas!Eddie, hurt/comfort, bisexual!Steve, bisexual!Eddie, platonic stobin, steddie

This fic is a part of the @steddieholidayexchange

Chapter 8: Testing

So far Steve had been scanned with two different machines and had blood taken three times, but at least he had proper clothes and no catheter, so he wasn’t complaining too much. He had also answered a lot of questions with a peculiar net thing on his head. When one of the technicians had mentioned it would be a lot easier to get readings if they shaved his head, Eddie might have growled at them. He’d also put up with a very thorough physical. That Robin and Eddie were always close by, even when they couldn’t be in the same room, helped a lot.

What he really didn’t expect was to be taken to a room that looked like a gym.

This time Eddie was right there in the spotlight with him.

“We’d like to do some strength and fitness tests if you’re up to it,” Owens said, smiling at them both over his clipboard. “Steve, do you know what you would normally lift?”

He hadn’t done it in a while, but he rattled off the weight he used to train to.

“Eddie?” Owens asked.

“Never been my thing,” was the short response.

“Oh this should be fun,” Robin said, making herself comfortable in a chair in the corner that seemed to have been provided just for her.

“How about we start with the free weights,” Owen suggested, leading them over to two stands with barbells.

The first thing Steve noticed was all the numbers on the various weights were covered with tape so they couldn’t be seen.

“So as not to skew the test,” Owens explained when the man saw him looking. “Let’s begin with a simple arm-curl. Start with the lighter weights and move up until you reach your limit.”

It was simple enough and Steve moved through the various barbells until he was onto the second set on the second stand. Eddie carried on right to the last and heaviest set and Steve was pretty sure Eddie hadn’t reached his limit.

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Owens said once they finished. “Shall we move on to bench pressing?”

Steve went through the motions, enjoying the exertion if he was honest. Eddie didn’t look as enthused, but only complained dramatically rather than seriously, so Steve hoped it wasn’t too arduous for the other man. He also couldn’t help where his mind went watching Eddie lift weights like they were made of balsa wood. He had to think some decidedly unsexy thoughts to prevent embarrassing himself. It didn’t help the way Eddie’s eyes never seemed to leave him either.

He really hoped they could get out of the lab soon, because he was having very impure thoughts of what he wanted to do to Eddie, and what he wanted Eddie to do to him.

They ended up doing all sorts of tests including hitting things and pulling things as well as using the weights, the running machine and more. By the end of it, Steve was pretty sure he was stronger than he had been, but Eddie was significantly stronger and faster than him. The only problem being he didn’t know by how much because of the distinct lack of numbers. Owens wasn’t a great deal of help either.

Once the tests were complete, they were politely herded back to their room where lunch was laid out. He also couldn’t help noticing that a third bed had been added to the side of the room. Clearly their hosts assumed now he was awake that Steve would want his own place to sleep.

The food looked pretty normal, some kind of meatloaf with various sides, and cheesecake for dessert. Not bad in Steve’s estimation. It was the drinks that he found a little odd. Each of them had a thermos with their name on it.

“Do we all have different things?” he asked as he sat down at their tiny table.

“You definitely won’t like mine,” Eddie said, reaching for his with a gleam in his eye.

“Don’t know why ours would be different though,” Robin said, taking her seat.

Steve still didn’t get it, but reached for his, opening it and sniffing the contents. It smelled sweet, but he couldn’t identify what it might be, so he took a sip. All he got was fruit flavours, like a mixed juice drink.

“Tastes like juice,” he said.

Eddie took a long gulp of his and Steve couldn’t help noticing the residue on the other man’s lips.

“Oh,” he said as he caught up, there was blood on Eddie’s mouth.

He was surprised when Eddie grimaced.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Doesn’t taste right,” Eddie replied. “If I didn��t need it, I’d pass.”

“Maybe you only like one blood type,” Steve suggested.

“That’s what I said,” Robin said while digging into her meatloaf.

“They assure me I’ve tried them all,” Eddie said, wrinkling his nose before taking another slug from the thermos. “Ugh, it gets worse with every mouthful.”

“Would a transfusion work?” Steve asked, trying the meatloaf since Robin seemed to be enjoying hers.

“They apparently tried that after they brought us in, while I was still out of it,” Eddie said, putting his blood aside and starting on his solid food. “My body rejected it violently. Glad I missed it. According to Owens I was bleeding from every orifice.”

“Ewww,” Robin said, “I’m trying to eat.”

“Thank you so much for your sympathy, Buckley,” was Eddie’s dry response.

“Sounds nasty,” Steve said, wincing at the idea.

“Makes drinking the stuff much more appealing,” Eddie said with a shrug, “even if it tastes like crap.”

There wasn’t much arguing with that.

~*~

Steve was having a wonderful dream. He and Eddie were back home in his room, and Eddie was taking him apart with his mouth. Everywhere Eddie touched him lit up with delicious sensations and all Steve could do was lie there, writhing in pleasure. It was amazing as Eddie worked his way all over Steve’s body. Then, when Eddie reached his neck, he felt sharp points dance over his skin.

Without hesitation he turned his head to the side, offering himself for Eddie to take what he needed.

Unfortunately, what came next was not the heady pleasure-pain combination of a bite, but rather being jolted awake.

“Sorry,” Eddie said, voice tight as he slipped from beneath Steve, “need to … um .. need …”

“Eds,” Steve hissed after him, but Eddie disappeared into their bathroom without looking back.

The whole sleeping in separate beds thing had lasted just over thirty minutes, because Steve had tried to have a nap that afternoon and woken up in a cold sweat blindly reaching for Eddie. Since he was under strict instructions to make sure he rested, they had taken that excuse to ignore the third bed after that.

Robin was fast asleep in her bed, which was now pushed up against his and Eddie’s because she had declared it unfair she was not allowed to partake in cuddles. The sheet from the third bed was sideways over both to keep them together, but Robin had still opted to sleep on her side of the possible divide after they had spent the afternoon piled together on their makeshift double watching TV.

Steve didn’t want to disturb her, so he slipped out from under his cover and padded towards the bathroom after Eddie. He found Eddie leaning over the sink, splashing his face with water. Stepping inside, Steve closed the door behind him.

“Something wrong?” he asked, walking over towards the sink.

“Stay back,” Eddie said, holding up his hand without looking up.

“Eds,” he replied, stopping, but not backing away, “what’s going on?”

Eddie stared into the sink where the water was still running for long, silent seconds. Finally, Eddie looked up.

“I was going to bite you,” Eddie said. “I could barely stop myself.”

“Were you having the same dream?” he asked.

Eddie’s eyes opened slightly.

“We were in my room,” he went on, making a hand movement to hopefully indicate sexy things without saying it out loud in case people were listening. “You went to bite me.”

“I woke up just before that last part,” Eddie replied after a moment. “All I could see was your neck. I never … not while you were unconscious … I never felt like this.”

“Maybe because I’m ready now,” Steve said as he thought about it.

“What do you mean, ready?” Eddie asked.

“Owens said my metabolism was changing, something to do with the bat bites,” Steve reasoned out slowly, “that’s why I was unconscious. But I was bitten months ago. I never showed any changes, not until you came back. What if it wasn’t just the bat bites, what if it was your bite too?”

“This is my fault?” Eddie said, sounding horrified.

“Not what I was going for,” Steve said, stepping up to the other man. “What I’m trying to say is, what if I was changing for you? The tests show my metabolism is faster, I’m stronger, not as strong as you, but more robust. What if that makes me the perfect donor and now that it’s all finished, I’m your catnip?”

“God you’ve been my catnip for years,” Eddie whispered, before slapping his hand over his mouth.

“Years?” Steve asked just as quietly, unable to keep what he was sure was rather a smug expression off his face.

“You’re too pretty for your own good, Harrington,” was Eddie’s best go at a comeback.

That just made Steve smile more.

“For the record,” he said, leaning into Eddie’s personal space and whispering in his ear, “if there weren’t cameras everywhere and Robin in the next room, I’d let you bend me over any surface of your choice.”

He actually saw Eddie’s pupils dilate.

“You’re testing my self-control, Stevie,” Eddie said, breathing in deeply as if taking in his scent.

“Then bite me,” he said. “Did you ever think the blood tastes bad from a cup because it’s not straight from the source?”

Eddie’s nostrils flared again.

“Don’t tempt me,” Eddie begged.

“I’m not tempting,” he replied, “I’m offering. I want this as much as your do.”

“But it hurts you,” Eddie said, eyes fixed on his neck.

“The first time it hurt in a way where I wanted it to stop,” he said, perfectly honestly. “All the others were something else.”

Eddie’s eyes came back and met his own again.

“Bite me,” he said.

Eddie’s eyes went black, and Steve found himself being manhandled until his back hit the door. He caught the slightest glint of long white fangs before he leaned his head to the side in offering. Those fangs going in felt like rivulets of lightening, lighting up his system as he grabbed for Eddie, hanging on for all he was worth. His cock throbbed mercilessly in his pants and about all he could do was bite his lip and whimper quietly, so he didn’t yell loudly enough to wake Robin. He really, really hoped they could go home soon.

End of Chapter 8

On to Chapter 9

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