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anjelagarrick · 11 months

Text

comfort of a laugh track

alex keller x reader

summary: alex relishes the time he gets to share with you after being put on medical leave.

tags: ptsd, losing limbs, trauma recovery, established relationship, fluff with angst, clingy! alex, sharing a bed, sharing clothes, just two idiots in love, self deprecation

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ALEX BREATHES SLOWLY, his exhale fanning over the bare skin of your shoulder. You’re fast asleep, completely unaware of him still being awake in the early hours of the morning. Alex had a habit of sitting and pondering, it was both a comfort and also a curse. He hated silence, but sometimes he hated his thoughts even more; he certainly didn’t want to wake you for petty comfort over practically nothing. Of course, you’d insist that any discomfort was worth soothing away with gentle touches and hushed kisses behind closed doors, but Alex knows his mind, he can fight the creeping bile that sits in his sternum as he closes his eyes.

It truly never feels real, how he almost died, how he lost his leg; how he almost left you behind despite always promising he’d come home to you. Alex’s eyes open again, and he’s in his home; in bed, arms wrapped around you. He isn’t on a battlefield, bleeding out somewhere, nor on a medical gurney with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. Leaning forward, his sweaty forehead presses to your cool shoulder, facial hair slightly tickling you as you shuffle, taking a soft, sleepy breath. Alex waits for you to soothe again before moving, lips kissing your shoulder ever so gently before he nuzzles his face into the back of your neck. Holding you felt so surreal, like he was holding love itself- that ignited feeling never went away, and Alex knows he doesn’t want it to. He wants to love you forever.

Your hand presses over his, thumb running over his knuckles as you hum softly. “Go back to sleep.” He whispers, voice scratchy and coarse due to lack of use. “What’s the matter?” You stifle a yawn, leaning your back against his chest. “It’s nothing, hon. Just rest, yeah? You’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” Alex kisses behind your ear, turning his hand to thread his fingers between yours. You hum again, rolling over in his arms, letting your own arms curl around his middle as you bury your head under his chin. “You can always talk to me, baby. We’re in this together.” You croon, kissing his collarbone so gently he barely felt it. “I know, I just want you to rest for now. I know you’ve been stressed. It’s not easy having a crippled boyfriend.” Alex laughs, it’s strained.

You frown. “You’re not an inconvenience, so don’t even try that all that talk with me.” You scold, softly hitting his back. “Sorry.” Alex exhales; as tired as he is, he doesn’t want to close his eyes. “We’re in this together, baby. I promised you i’d always be here.” You let your hand move from his back, slowly massaging his tricep, just under his elbow. “I know, honey. I… I’m really thankful, for you… for the team. This hasn’t been easy. I can still feel my leg sometimes- it throws me off.” Alex finally closes his eyes, taking a small breath. “I know it’s not easy, love. But you’re strong, you’ve been doing so well at adjusting. You can do this.” You assure him, moving your head to press a kiss to his upper lip. Alex immediately chases you as you pull away, kissing you properly. “Thank you, baby.” He mutters, hand rubbing soft circles over your hip. “Of course..! I’ll always be here for support.” You coo, nose brushing against his gently. “Whether it’s in the middle of the night, in public or private; or even if you call me on the job. I’ll never abandon you.”

Alex smiles, warmth collected in his chest. “I love you, hon. You mean the world to me.” His voice rumbles a little in his chest due to the low volume, you hum softly in return. “I love you too, Alex.” You respond, kissing him again. “Are you going to try and sleep?” You ask, hand moving from his arm to cup his cheek, thumb rubbing against his cheekbone as your other fingers massage his jaw. Alex exhales softly, loving how your fingertips feel against his face. “I dunno, doll.” He mumbles. “That’s okay, baby. We can have some hot chocolate and maybe put on a movie?” You suggest, pulling away from his embrace as you sit up. “You need rest, baby.” He reminds you with a frown. It’s true, you were exhausted, but caring for your boyfriend in a hard time was your number one priority.

“It’s fine, hon. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or upset.” You get up, pulling one of Alex’s shirts up over your head. Alex sits up, watching you in the dim light that seeped through the curtains. He knows he can’t say anything to convince you to get back into bed, watching as you saunter from the bedroom, turning on the hall light as you went. Shaking his head, Alex leans over, grasping his crutches. Slowly moving his leg over the bed, his foot hits the floor- he almost feels sick as his stump hangs off the bed. Taking a deep breath, Alex stands, leaning his weight upon the crutches. It was certainly difficult- he was embarrassed to be in public as he ambled so slowly beside you, yet you’d only smile patiently as you held open doors and rested a comforting hand upon his back. He didn’t deserve you.

Slowly, he moves his crutches forward before taking another step, then another, then another. It’s a very slow process, but he’s getting better at it. The kitchen light is on, and Alex takes a soft breath. The small apartment you two lived in felt like a massive mansion due to how long it would take Alex to get room to room. As he steps forward, his foot slips, back hitting the floor with a harsh thud as his crutches clutter to the ground. With a defeated sigh, Alex tries to blink away tears- he felt useless. “Baby, are you alright?!” You stress, kneeling beside him, hand gently touching his head. “Yeah- sorry… just slipped is all.” Alex sighs, staring at the ceiling above. “Oh, Alex…” you whisper, wiping the corners of his eyes gently. “I’m sorry.” He responds on instinct- he’d been doing that a lot recently. “Don’t be. Come on, let’s get you up.” Slowly, you help Alex up, having him lean upon the wall as you grab one of his crutches. “Lean on this,” you hand him the crutch, letting him slowly lean his weight upon it as you retrieve the other.

“I feel like such a burden.” Alex huffs out a bitter laugh, watching you frown. “No, you’re not. Not to me.” You kiss his cheek, resting a hand upon his back as he slowly tries walking again. Slowly, he finally eases himself onto the couch, sighing softly. “Stay right here, hon. I’ll finish making our drinks.” Leaning down, you kiss his cheeks, cradling his head for a second before pulling away. Alex slumps into the cushions with defeat. He missed going on runs, it was one of his favourite things to do in the mornings, but now he could barely walk to the kitchen without needing you to help him. “How pathetic…” he muses bitterly, glaring at the stump where his full leg once was. “So fucking stupid- why did I let this happen?” Clenching his right fist, Alex takes a deep breath- slowly trying to release the guilt from his chest.

“Alex, baby. Are you alright?” You ask, sitting beside him as you hand him a freshly hot mug. “Yeah, m’fine.” He breathes out, hand tangling into yours as you rest your mug upon your thigh, grabbing the tv remote. “What do you feel like watching?” You ask, head resting against his shoulder. “I don’t mind, baby. You choose.” Alex responds, closing his eyes. He’s back in that damn place again, jaw clenched- head spinning, Farah is there, helping him- trying to bring him back to consciousness. He can feel his leg, it hurts- “Alex.” You pat his shoulder a little, he opens his eyes. He’s on the couch with you, your eyes are worried. “Are you okay?” You ask softly, hand lingering upon his shoulder, thumb smoothing his creased shirt as he breathes. “Yeah. I’m all good, baby. Just… remembering things.” He responds, blinking a few times. “Try to focus on the tv, baby. Just relax.” You kiss his jaw softly, ignoring how his beard scratches your face as you settle against him. Alex throws a spare arm around your shoulders, squeezing you close as his other hand holds his mug, resting it upon the thigh of his mostly missing leg.

As Alex sits in thought, mostly thoughts full of self deprecating words and loathing himself, he’s brought back by you; you’re just shuffling to get a little more comfortable, but it alerts him of his surroundings again. He’s in home, he can see you, feel you, smell the jasmine incense you’re always burning throughout the day as you adored the smell, as well as insisting that it promoted happiness and would help Alex relax. Alex exhales, it’s slow- soothing. Taking a sip of his hot chocolate, he watches the old sitcom rerun you had found on one of the channels, relishing the comfort of a laugh track.

#alex keller #alex keller x reader #mw2 alex #alex keller x you #alex mw2 #mw2 x reader #mw2022 #mw2 2022 #mw2 x you #mw2 imagine #| anjela wrote this 🕯️#// alex my beloved 😭🫶🫶#// my underrated boy 🫶

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