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contentloadingandstuff · 7 months

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Fluff Headcanons - Spooky gaming with the genshin characters!

A/N: The fluff version of the Halloween special, and a bit of a new format. I hope you enjoy!

C/W: Modern AU, swearing, game-typical violence.

Alhaitham

This year, Alhaitham wanted something less conventional. Something that would really engage his mind with interesting commentary about society and the world at large, but still retain some of that spooky vibe.

Cruelty Squad easily caught his attention with its assaulting graphics and interesting premise. It clearly begged for attention, and he was willing to humor it.

It was precisely what he was looking for, and what an answer it was. Alhaitham had no trouble adjusting to a more corporate mindset.

Alhaitham: The super AI emerges from an extremely pornographic ultra hyper suck and fuck…

Kaveh: Um… What? What are you talking about?

Alhaitham: You don't understand, Kaveh. Everything that surrounds us? It's Gorbino's Quest. The Gorbino's Quest... of life.

Ganyu

The poor little cinnamon roll isn't that much of a horror fan. Violence and death generally unsettles her, but Ganyu still wants to feel some of that holiday spirit.

After a lengthy deliberation, Ganyu chose Little Nightmares. The graphics are quite pleasing to the eye, it is horror, but not so horrible and violent. At least that's what she heard.

Ganyu: Oh, look! It's a Nome, right? And it's offering me food… How nice of it! Um… Oh n-no! Why would you d-do that?!

Amber

The great outdoors with a horror theme? Count her in!

Amber made sure to avoid spoilers to have the full, unprecedented The Forest experience. The landscape is so serene and peaceful… The freedom of movement, the sounds of nature and the survival elements are so fun and relaxing!

True, there are some hostile people on the island, but they seem harmless enough.

Until the night falls…

Amber: Wait… What's that? That doesn't look human… Did it just birth out… Ew… Yikes! It's coming at me!

Suffice to say, Amber stuck around until more or less the moment when you have to chop up bodies and make effigies out of the parts.

Beidou

Alcohol, hard rock and murdering demons with big guns is how Beidou plays on Halloween, so she'll gladly hop on Doom Eternal.

There's nothing better than impaling a snake demon's head with its own broken arm, right as the beat drops.

Beidou: Life has enough undefeatable horrors. Let's just have some fun tonight!

Ningguang

The old ones are the good ones! Ningguang doesn't play a lot of video games, but she did like a few titles back in her younger days.

On this special occasion, Ningguang got a box of her old possessions to dig through, and found the original Dungeon Keeper on CD.

Everything is just as she remembered it was.

Ningguang: Oh, these imps… They are the perfect workers, aren't they? They don't eat, sleep, need vacation, have a social life, and they work harder when you slap them. Ah, if only I had them as my subordinates…

Keqing: *narrows eyes*

Kokomi

Another fan of the retro side of games, Kokomi enjoys a good tactical challenge - developing the ability to conjure small scale plans is as important as improving the grand ones.

Her pick is Myth II: Soulblighter. It’s a brutal, unforgiving RTS with a distinctively dark atmosphere - just perfect for the season at hand.

Even when Halloween comes to a close, Kokomi will find it hard to drop the game. The insanity that is Legendary is quite addictive indeed…

Kokomi: You here… You here… And now the crescendo!

Game: “Move here move there…”

Game: “Catch!”

Game: *explosion*

Game: “Casualty.”

Kokomi: Oh. Change of plans, I guess…

Yae Miko

Upon hearing of the wonderful possibilities for tormenting the other party, Miko didn't hesitate to bring out the Mora for Dead By Daylight and all of its DLC.

Though it was quite fun at first, the ugly nature of the game soon surfaced. As none of her friends were brave enough to delve into this swamp, she was forced to join up with random people, who frequently threw the games.

Such a combination was enough to make even such an ancient and wise kitsune lose her absolute cool.

Ei: Why are you crouching behind that tree, Miko?

Miko: The killer has caught one of my teammates, and I will release them by ambushing them with a flashlight!

Miko: Come on… Now! You didn't expect that, did y- What?? Lightborn?! Again?! Who even plays it nowadays?! Oh, you daft, blind motherf-

Ei: Miko!

Miko: Oh… Hm. Sorry. I got a little carried away. But that's sooo unfair, isn't it? Why would they add a perk that cancels a whole mechanic? I can't believeitthegameissokillersided…

Xiangling

Xiangling absolutely didn't look forward to Halloween, especially with Hu Tao around. She just can't take horror, at all, of any kind, ever. Especially jumpscares.

She still couldn't believe that she agreed to play a horror game, let alone one suggested by the director. The one and only Five Nights At Freddy's at that.

Much to Hu Tao's amusement, she didn't even make it past Night 1. Xiangling was thoroughly spooked, and after being jumpscared once she completely refused to keep playing.

Seeing Xiangling so terrified made Guoba very upset, and Hu Tao quickly apologized to avoid being roasted by the angry god.

Hu Tao: So he killed the kids, but then! Their souls escaped their robot prisons and made an old spring lock suit crush him to death! WoOoo~

Xiangling: Ah! Hu Tao! No more!

Guoba: Nane na! Grr…

Hu Tao: Oh, don't fret little Guoba! I'm just joking!

Zhongli

Morax always had trouble catching up with the latest cultural and technological trends of the humans. Sure, he can use a computer more than well enough, but he finds third and first person video games confusing. The gameplay is most often too fast and rapidly changing for him to be up to speed with it, let alone enjoy it.

Throughout all of his exponentially long life, nobody was as persistent in including him in the festivities as Hu Tao. She tried to convince Zhongli to play something horror-related, but he was assertive. So, the director decided to find a game that would suit his liking - an indie title.

Her pick fell on Water Womb World - it's simple mechanically, is quite disturbing and has an interesting concept.

Much to her surprise, Zhongli thoroughly enjoyed his fifteen minutes with the game, even if he didn't find it very scary.

Zhongli: Ah, I agree with the message of this title. The blind belief in deities can lead to fanaticism, which breeds regress rather than progress. I do think that a more healthy and critical approach to Rex Lapis' rule would be beneficial to our current day society. Especially that the age of gods draws to an end…

Hu Tao: Aiya! Do you have to turn everything into a lecture, Zhongli? You're not my grandpa, are you?

Hu Tao

An avid enjoyer of the spookfest, Hu Tao decided to pick something hitting closer to home this year - Mortuary Assistant.

The gameplay loop feels great! Just like in her line of work, just without the smell. She's having the time of her life preparing the corpse for burial. And hunting the demon. That's also quite cool!

Hu Tao: *hums while wheeling the corpse into the crematory*

Game: "Are you sure?"

Hu Tao: Yup! I know your tricks more than well. Aiyaya, you could try something more interesting next round! Furnace time~

Game: *sounds of fire and demonic screaming*

Hu Tao: Toodle-oo~

Bennet, Noelle, Fischl, Razor

A few weeks before Halloween, Bennett mentioned a game night, since he couldn't be there in person. Noelle, diligent as ever, picked this up as a cue to start looking for something.

Luckily for her, Phasmophobia was on a large and affordable discount, so after proposing the idea and organizing a money pool, they all got to proving the existence of ghosts.

Lisa lent Razor her personal computer for the night, on condition that she could take a little peek every now and then at their session without interrupting - and what an amusement it was, as none of them are especially acquainted with horror.

Noelle: "The ghost responds only to people who are alone." Somebody has to go in to talk to it…

Razor: Razor won't go! Ghost scary!

Bennett: I would go, but with my luck, the ghost will eat me right away…

Fischl: Hmph! Although yes, I, Fischl, The Prinzessin Der Verurteilung and the founder of The Immernatchreich possess the courage to face demons and spawns of darkness alike, I…

Everyone: So you'll go then?

Amy: Um… N-no! You m-misunderstood!

Furina

The Great-And-Grand Archon of Fontaine played and saw every horror game and movie, and never once got scared. Or that's what she claims, at least.

That's why Focalors decided to prove her excellence with a true, dark challenge she could easily overcome, thus proving her gaming capabilities for all to see!

In hindsight, Darkest Dungeon wasn't the best of choices she could have made… It did amuse Monsieur Neuvilette, however.

Neuvillette: I think you should retreat. Your heroes are close to dying.

Furina: I appreciate your advice, my dear Iudex, but your worries are misplaced! My Crusader will deal a critical hit, thus ending the pig-man's miserable opposition, and granting us treasure galore! Watch and marvel at my skill!

Game: "A singular strike!"

Furina: Ahaha, see? I told you it would be fine~ Wait… It's not dead yet…?

Game: "Mortality - clarified in a single strike!"

Furina: Um…

Game: "There can be no hope in this hell, no hope at all…"

Game: "And now the true test - hold fast, or expire."

Game: "Those who cover injury find it in no short supply."

Game: "As life ebbs, terrible vistas of emptiness reveal themselves."

Furina: Ret- T-tactical withdrawal!

Game: "Cornered, trapped, forced to fight on!"

Game: "This is no place for the weak, or the foolhardy."

Game: "More blood soaks the soil, feeding the evil therein."

Game: "Perched at the very precipice of oblivion."

Game: "More dust, more ashes, more disappointment."

Game: "Another life wasted in the pursuit of glory and gold."

Game: "Wounds to be tended. Lessons to be learned."

Neuvillette: Lady Furina, if only you had-

Furina: Silence.

Shenhe

Shenhe never gets scared. The most terrible of monsters or existential terrors are no match for her training and resolve, no matter how unexpected they might be. She might not get scared, but she can get startled, right?

Who else would pose that question but Hu Tao, the mistress of horrors herself? It was always her objective to get some sort of reaction out of the adepti disciple, no matter how insignificant and small it might be. Many things were attempted - scary movies, troubling situations, body horror, cosmic horror, existential horror… But none of them ever worked. Shenhe remained stalwart.

Out of desperation, Hu Tao was forced to reach for the ultimate weapon. The bane of those unprepared. The myth. The legend. The game.

The Scary Maze Game.

After plugging in an old spare monitor, she invited Shenhe to “test her precision”, and stepped a few safe meters back.

The monitor ended up skewered with her polearm, but Shenhe did yelp - much to her delight.

Not all was fun and games though, as Hu Tao got the mother of all lectures from Cloud Retainer. Something about Shenhe’s red ropes breaking, but the director didn’t pay much attention, and just nodded along.

Hu Tao: Heya, Shenhe… You don’t mind the little scare I gave you back on Halloween night, do you…?

Shenhe: Oh? Well, as much as I was upset during the moment, I must admit it was quite… cathartic. I never experienced anything like that. I do not hold any grudge towards you. Actually… Thank you for that, director Hu Tao.

Hu Tao: Phew! And I was here thinking I’ll share the fate of that display!

🎃Happy Halloween!🎃

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spacetimewithstuartgary · 4 months

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Astronomers make a serendipitous discovery of a galaxy that shouldn’t exist

A team of astronomers, led by Arizona State University Assistant Research Scientist, Tim Carleton, has discovered a dwarf galaxy that appeared in James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) imaging that wasn’t the primary observation target.

Galaxies are bound together by gravity, and are made up of stars and planets, with vast clouds of dust and gas as well as dark matter. Dwarf galaxies are the most abundant galaxies in the Universe, and are by definition small with low luminosity. They have fewer than 100 million stars, compared to the Milky Way that has nearly 200 billion stars. Recent dwarf galaxy observations of the large abundance of “Ultra-Diffuse Galaxies” beyond the reach of previous large spectroscopic surveys suggest that our understanding of the dwarf galaxy population may be incomplete.

In a newly published study, Carleton and the team were initially looking at a cluster of galaxies as part of the JWST Prime Extragalactic Areas for Reionization and Lensing Science (PEARLS) project. The dwarf galaxy, PEARLSDG, happened to appear in some of the team’s JWST imaging - it wasn’t the target at all; just a bit off from the main observation field, in the area of space where they weren't expecting to see anything. Their results have been published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters.

PEARLSDG did not have the usual characteristics of a dwarf galaxy one would expect to see - it isn't interacting with a nearby galaxy, but it also isn't forming new stars. As it turns out, it is an interesting case of an isolated quiescent galaxy.

“These types of isolated quiescent dwarf galaxies haven't really been seen before except for relatively few cases - they are not really expected to exist given our current understanding of galaxy evolution, so the fact that we see this object helps us improve our theories for galaxy formation,” said Carleton. “Generally, dwarf galaxies that are out there by themselves are continuing to form new stars.”

Until now, astronomers' understanding of galaxy evolution showed an isolated galaxy that continued to form young stars or it would interact with a more massive companion galaxy. The built up theory of evolution of galaxies didn’t apply to PEARLSDG - that by happenstance appeared out of nowhere. PEARLSDG presents as an old stellar population, not forming new stars as well as keeping to itself.

In a further surprise, individual stars can be observed in the team’s JWST images. These stars are brighter in JWST wavelengths - it is one of the farthest galaxies that we can see these stars with this level of detail. The brightness of these stars allows astronomers to be able to measure its distance - 98 million light years.

For this study, Carleton, who is an assistant research scientist at the Beus Center for Cosmic Foundations in the School of Earth and Space Exploration at ASU, used a wide range of data. This includes imaging data from JWST’s Near-InfraRed Camera (NIRCam), spectroscopic data from the DeVeny Optical Spectrograph on the Lowell Discovery Telescope (LDT) in Flagstaff, AZ, archival imaging from NASA’s Galex and Spitzer space telescopes, as well as ground-based imaging from the Sloan Digital Sky Survey and the The Dark Energy Camera Legacy Survey.

JWST’s NIRCAM has very high angular resolution and sensitivity, allowing the team to identify individual stars in this distant galaxy. Just like individual cells coming into focus in a microscope, these observations brought the components of PEARLSDG into sharp focus. Importantly, identifying specific stars in the imaging provided a key clue to its distance — these stars have a specific intrinsic brightness, so by measuring their apparent brightness with JWST, the team was able to determine how far away they are. It turns out that these stars were some of the most distant stars of their type to be observed!

All of the archival imaging data, observing at ultraviolet, optical, and infrared wavelengths, was pulled together to study the color of PEARLSDG. Newly formed stars have a specific color signature, so the absence of such a signature was used to show that PEARLSDG was not forming new stars.

The DeVeney Spectrograph at the LDT spreads the light astronomical objects into its distinct components, allowing astronomers to study its properties in detail. For example, the specific wavelength shift observed in features in the spectroscopic data encodes information about the motion of PEARLSDG, using the same “doppler effect” that radar guns use to measure the speed of drivers on Arizona roads. This was key to show that PEARLSDG is not associated with any other galaxy and is truly isolated. Additionally, particular features in the spectrum are also sensitive to the presence of young stars, so the absence of those features further corroborated the measurements of the absence of young stars from imaging data.

“This was absolutely against people's expectations for a dwarf galaxy like this. Is it this case of a galaxy that's by itself and not forming any new stars?” said Carleton. “This was absolutely against my expectations and I think the expectations of a lot of astronomers that we would find a galaxy like this.”

For this dwarf galaxy discovery to be made by JWST after only a relatively short time, changes astronomers' understanding of how galaxies form and evolve. This exciting discovery of the dwarf galaxy, PEARLDG, suggests the possibility that many isolated quiescent galaxies are waiting to be identified and that JWST has the tools to do so.

IMAGE....A color-composite image of PEARLSDG made with JWST NIRCAM data. Individual stars are visible as small points of light in the image. Its somewhat dull color and lack of many bright stars is consistent with its old age and lack of ongoing star formation. Credit Image Credit: NASA, ESA, CSA, Jake Summers (ASU), Jordan C. J. D'Silva (UWA), Anton M. Koekemoer (STScI), Aaron Robotham (UWA), Rogier Windhorst (ASU)

#science #space #astronomy #physics #news #astrophysics #nasa

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noodleblade · 6 months

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another idea if you want, the Lost Light makes a detour to visit a cold planet and the crew gets to play with the snow, snow fight!

AHHH THIS WAS CUTE ;--; i hope you don't mind the rodimags/rodimims 👉👈 i love them dearly. Also because this got very self indulgent, there's some various other implied pairings:3 I just want everyone happy and having a good time. ok, ive also given up on this 500 word max challenge i cant do it

Rodimus grinned widely as he stared out across the snow fields of Chioni V. The tiny outpost planet was always a frozen wasteland but it was rare for its harsh winds to die and its dark, violent clouds to part for the local system’s two suns to shine through. It truly was good fortune for land for a restock on the planet’s one nice day every 2000 years or so. Or whatever Perceptor’s prediction models had declared.

It didn’t matter to Rodimus. As soon as he’d seen the opening, there was little his Second in Command or his “Co-Captain” could do to stop him from declaring a shipwide snow day. By the time his announcement had echoed through the intercom system of the Lost Light, it was too late to turn down the crowd of mechs disembarking the ship to see one of the many delights of the universe.

It was especially hard to deny them now when, for once, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Close to the ship, several mechs had begun construction of snowmen. Rung seemed to be leading the operation, helping Fort Max’s large servos apply the right amount of pressure to form the balls without crushing them with his strength. In a very short amount of time, the two of them had made eerily realistic figures of various crew members out of the dusty white snow.

By the icy shore of a small lake, Cyclonus stood watchful guard as Whirl spun lazy circles around a stumbling Tailgate. Even across the distance, Rodimus could hear Whirl’s delighted laughter as he goaded Cyclonus to join them. Tailgate’s own giggles cross the distance. Rodimus wondered how long it would actually take Cyclonus to dare the slippery terrain. Judging by the way Cyclonus inched towards the ice, it would not be long.

Several mechs had coupled off to wander the frozen wonderland. Brainstorm was dragging Perceptor around to look at the frozen vegetation, almost appearing crystalized beneath the layers of ice. If Perceptor was bothered by Brainstorm’s tugging, he never showed it, never making an attempt to pull from the warm hand hold.

Rodimus even spied Ratchet trudging through the snow. He looked cold, but his scowl was difficult to hide as Drift pressed against him, holding the medic’s sensitive hands close to his chest for warmth. Their smiles were soft but warm.

Out in the flats of the snowy plains, Rodimus could see a group of mechs playing in the snow. It looked as if teams had formed, Chromedome leading one with Rewind taking the opposition. While Chromedome had built a versatile team of mechs all across the different fields of the Lost Light, it paled in comparison to the absolute powerhouse that was Rewind’s team. Rodimus wasn’t sure how Rewind had convinced Megatron to join his team, let alone play, but Rewind looked smug as he sat on Megatron’s broad shoulder, directing his army of mechs with startling ease. If Chromedome was scared, he didn’t show it. He did, however, seem to be building his team in a more defensive formation, building thick walls to protect them from what would be a pure onslaught of snowballs once the fighting began.

Rodimus wanted to join, eager to get in the fight. He was about to race across the plans when it hit him that there was someone missing. He stopped, scanning the fields again and checking it with the ship’s manifest. Sure enough, one mech was missing. Really two.

Ultra Magnus, and therefore Minimus Ambus, was absent from the crew-wide excursion.

Rodimus swept the grounds once more, seeing no sign of blue and white plating or the even more elusive green and white. He sent a ping request and was unsurprised when his Second answered almost immediately. Even in his avoidance, Ultra Magnus was prompt as always. His ping came from the bridge and as much as Rodimus wanted to join the festivities, he was not going to allow his companion to hole up. So with great reluctance, Rodimus walked the gangplank back to the ship and made a beeline for the bridge.

Sure enough, Rodimus found his second seated at his station, helm bowed as he reviewed one of the many datapads stacked on his desk. Admittedly, he was a little surprised to see Minimus rather than Magnus, but that surprise was pushed aside by knowledge that Minimus was growing more comfortable forgoing the armor.

“Whatcha doing, Mims?” Rodimus asked as he approached the mech. He grinned deviously as Minimus’s mustache twitched with annoyance at the nickname.

“Someone needs to monitor the bridge.”

Rodimus rolled his optics as he crossed the distance to push the datapad away from Minimus’s reach, using the empty space to lean in, helm just a tad above the smaller mech’s.

“No. She’s fine for a few hours. Besides, you can bring the remote observation meters with you if you must.”

Minimus avoided his gaze as he reached over to grab another datapad. “That’s okay. I’m quite fine working.” Before the datapad could be set in front of him, Rodimus snatched it out of his hands and set it right back on the stack. “Rodimus.”

“Minimus,” the Captain countered right back. “Today is a shipwide snow day. For everyone. Including you.”

Minimus sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, optics narrowed. “This is pointless.”

“Megatron is even out there. He’s in a snowball fight,” Rodimus groaned, just as exasperated. “Decepticon Warlord Megatron is having a snowball fight and you are sitting here reading the newspaper-”

“They are valuable reports-”

“Oh, whatever,” Rodimus cut right through. “Come on, Mims, you have to come out. That’s an order from your Captain. Your favorite Captain.”

Minimus didn’t appear to be wholly amused but he still pushed his chair away from the desk, climbing to his pedes with a small huff.

“Fine.”

“Really?” Rodimus perked up, rounding the desk quick to fall in step with his Second.

“If I must.”

“And you must,” Rodimus was quick to assure, lest he give Minimus an out to be a bigger stick in the mud. “And you must join me in the snowball fight.”

Minimus stopped in his tracks and narrowed his optics at Rodimus. “Absolutely not.”

“Awwww,” Rodimus groaned, reaching to grab Minimus by the shoulder. “Come on, we’d be unstoppable. I was to destroy Megatron and I need you.”

Minimus looked from Rodimus over to where his hand rested against Minimus’s shoulders. Slowly, the smaller mech reached up and laid his hand over Rodimus’s.

“I’m sure you can defeat Megatron without me.”

“Obviously,” Rodimus grinned, cocksure and bright. “But I want to see the look of horror on his face as you help me. Please? One game, and you can go back to the bridge if you want.”

Minimus contemplated the request for a long moment, his fingers shifting against the back of Rodimus’s hand before he slowly nodded his helm.

“Okay,” Minimus said slowly. Before Rodimus could cheer, Minimus added, “On one stipulation.”

“Mims, if you are asking me to do paperwork with you-”

“No, no,” Minimus quickly assured, squeezing Rodimus’s hand gently. “No, not that this time. I just…would like you to join me later. On the bridge. We can share a cube of warmed energon. If you’d like.”

Rodimus blinked, the words rolling across his processor for a moment before a grin sprang to his face growing bigger and bigger by the second. “Aw, shucks Mims, asking me out on a date? That’s cute.”

“No,” Minimus yelped, stepping away from Rodimus and quickly walking towards the exit of the ship. “Forget it, actually. We’ll play your silly game and be done.”

“And then we’ll share energon together,” Rodimus called after him, racing to fall back into step. He dropped his voice to a softer whisper, reaching out once again to grasp Minimus’s shoulder. “At night, the skies form an aurora. You usually can’t see it ‘cause of the clouds but we should be able to see them tonight. Together. If you dig it.”

Minimus did not shrug off Rodimus’s touch, quietly reaching up to grab his hand once more. Hesitantly, the smaller mech nodded. “I think I would…I would dig that.”

#rodimags #rodimims #rodimus #minimus ambus #ultra magnus #mtmte #transformers #macadam #my fics #holiday flash fics #elmonstro #💖#REMINDER TO POST ON AO3 LATER

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matmarrash · 1 year

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GCAC Neighborhood Arts Connection 2023 Announcement!

Over the last ten years I’ve been a Columbus, Ohio resident, the Greater Columbus Arts Council (GCAC) has played a big role in helping me: develop new skills as a photographer, network with other creatives, and even purchase some of those expensive sheets of film I like to run through my camera! And while Individual Artist Grants are such a valuable thing to any working artist, I was even more excited to learn about a more community-focused opportunity from the GCAC, the Neighborhood Arts Connection (NAC). Every six months, there will be a round of grant funding prioritizing artist-led events that engage the residents of specific Columbus neighborhoods. I was pleasantly surprised to see my neighborhood, the Hilltop, as one of the first selected for 2023’s NAC program. It’s time to give back to the community that I’ve been a part of and share the love of all things photography!

Later this Summer along with half a dozen other Columbus creatives, we will be hosting an interactive Cyanotype Day here in the Hilltop neighborhood. The tentative date is set for Saturday September 30th from 12PM - 5PM EST. Thanks to the NAC Fellowship from GCAC, admission and materials for the Cyanotype Day event will FREE for all Hilltop residents. More information for outside attendance to come.

What is a Cyanotype? The Cyanotype is an Alternative Photographic Process that involves hand-coating a liquid emulsion onto a porous surface like paper or fabric and then exposing that emulsion to UV light. After a good amount of time under the sun, the print is developed with a plain water rinse to reveal a lovely, deep blue image that can last a lifetime! Unlike many of the early photographic processes, it has low toxicity and is safe for creatives ages 5+. For more information, please check out my how-to episode on Cyanotypes below:

youtube

The best way to stay updated on Cyanotype Day is to subscribe to this blog, check out the Events page on my website, and subscribe to my YT channel. And if you are a photographer, artist, or vendor interested in being a part of Cyanotype Day, please feel free to reach out via email. Until then, I’d like to thank the Greater Columbus Arts Council and Columbus Makes Art for making this neighborhood-wide event possible. For more information on the GCAC Neighborhood Arts Connection Fellowship and the NAC Jurors, here’s a link to the official press release.

#gcac #greater columbus arts council #hilltop #columbus #ohio #central ohio #alternative process #cyanotype #large format #ultra large format #mat marrash #neighborhood arts connection #2023

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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How Goldman Sachs's "tax-loss harvesting" lets the ultra-rich rake in billions tax-free

Tomorrow (Apr 25) I’ll be in San Diego for the launch of my new novel, Red Team Blues, at 7PM at Mysterious Galaxy Books, hosted by Sarah Gailey. Please come and say hi!

_,.-'~'-.,__,.-'~'-.,__,.-'~'-.,__,.-'~'-.,__,.-'~'-.,_

With the IRS Files, Propublica ripped away the veil of performative complexity disguising the scams that the ultra-rich use to amass billions and billions (and billions and billions) of dollars, paying next to no tax, or even no tax at all. Each scam is its own little shell game, a set of semantic and accounting tricks used to gussy up otherwise banal rip-offs.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/24/tax-loss-harvesting/#mego

The finance sector has a cute name for this kind of complexity: MEGO, which stands for "my eyes glaze over." If you're trying to rip off a mark, you just pad out the prospectus, make it so thick they decide there must be something good in there, the same way that any pile of shit that's sufficiently large must have a pony under it...somewhere.

Propublica's writers haven't merely confirmed just how little America's oligarchs pay in tax - they've also de-MEGO-ized each of these scams, like the way that Peter Thiel used the Roth IRA - a tax-shelter for middle-class earners to help save a few thousand dollars for retirement - to make $5 billion without paying one cent in tax:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/26/wax-rothful/#thiels-gambit

One of my favorite IRS Files reports described how Steve Ballmer - the billionaire ex-CEO of Microsoft - laundered vast fortunes into a state of tax-free grace by creating hundreds of millions in "losses" from his basketball team, the LA Clippers. Ballmer paid 12% tax on the $656 million he took out of the Clippers - while the players whose labor generated that fortune paid 30-40% on their earnings:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/08/tuyul-apps/#economic-substance-doctrine

That was Propublica's first Ballmer story, back in the summer of 2021. But they ran a followup last February that I missed (it came out while I was on a book tour in Australia), and it's wild: a tale of "loss harvesting," a form of fuckery involving Goldman Sachs that's depraved even by their own standards:

https://www.propublica.org/article/irs-files-taxes-wash-sales-goldman-sachs

Loss farming is a scam that was invented in the 1920s, whereupon it was promptly banned by Congress. But Goldman and other plutocrat Renfields have come up with tiny modern variations on this century-old con that the IRS is either unable or unwilling to address.

Here's how it works. Say you've got a stock portfolio where some of the stocks have gone up and others have gone down. You want to sell the high stocks and hang onto the low ones until they bounce back. But if you sell those stocks that have gone up, you have to "realize" the profit from them and pay 20% capital gains tax on them (capital gains tax is the tax you pay on money you get from owning things; it's much lower than income tax - the tax you pay for doing things).

But you pay tax on your net capital gains - the profits you've made minus the losses you've suffered. What if you sold those loser stocks at the same time? If you made a million on the good stocks and lost a million on the bad ones, your net income is zero - and so is your tax bill.

The problem is that selling stocks when they've gone down is a surefire way to go broke. Every investing book starts with this advice: you will be tempted to hold onto your stocks that are going up, because they might continue to go up. You'll be tempted to sell your stocks that are going down, because they may continue to go down. But if you do that, you'll only sell the stocks that have lost money, and never sell the stocks that have made money, and so you will lose everything.

Back when the pandemic started, your shares in movie theater chains were in the toilet, while your stock in tech companies shot through the roof. If you sold the tech stocks then and held onto your movie stocks and sold them now, you'd have cleaned up - today, tech stocks are down and movie theater stocks are up. But if you sold the cinema shares when they bottomed out, and held onto your tech stocks when they were peaking, you'd be busted today.

So selling your loser stocks to offset the gains from your winners is a bad idea. That's where loss-farming comes in: what if you sold your tech stocks at their peak, and sold your bottomed-out cinema stocks at the same time, but then bought the cinema stocks again, right away? That way you'd have the "loss" from selling the cinema stocks, but you'd still have the stocks.

That's called "wash trading," and Congress promptly banned it. If you've heard of wash-trading, it's probably something you picked up during the NFT bubble, which was a cesspit of illegal wash-trading. Remember all those eye-popping NFT sales? It was just grifters with multiple wallets, buying NFTs from themselves, making it seem like there was this huge, white-hot market for monkey JPEGs. Wash-trading.

Turns out that crypto really did democratize finance...fraud.

Wash-trading has been illegal for a century, but brokerages have invented modern variations on the theme that are legal-ish, and the most lucrative versions of these scams are only available to billionaires, through companies like Goldman Sachs.

There are a bunch of these variations, but they all boil down to this: there are lots of ways to sell an asset and buy it again, while making it look like you bought a different asset. Like, say you're invested in Chinese tech companies through an exchange-traded fund (ETF) that bundles together "all the Top Chinese tech stocks."

Maybe you bought this fund through Vanguard, the giant brokerage. Now, say Chinese stocks are way down, because the Chinese government is doing these waves of lockdowns on the factory cities. If you could sell those Chinese stocks now, you'd get a massive loss, enough to wipe out all the profits from all your good stocks.

But of course, China's going to figure out the lockdown situation eventually, so you don't want to actually get rid of those stocks right now, especially since they're worth so much less than you paid for them. So right after you sell your Vanguard Chinese tech ETF shares, you buy the same amount of Schwab's Chinese tech-stock ETF.

An ETF of "leading Chinese tech companies" is going to have basically the same companies' stock in it, no matter whether it's sold by Vanguard, State Street or Schwab. But as far as the IRS is concerned, this isn't a wash-trade, because you sold a thing called "Vanguard ETF" and bought a thing called "Schwab ETF" and these are different things (even if the main difference is the name on the wrapper, and not what's inside).

There's other ways to do this. For example, lots of companies have different "classes" of stock. Under Armour sells both Class A (voting) and Class C (nonvoting) stocks. Though voting stock is worth a little more than nonvoting stock, they both rise and fall together - if the Class A shares are up 10%, so are the Class C shares. So you can dump your Under Armour Class A's, buy Under Armour Class C's and own essentially the same amount of Under Armour stock - but as far as the IRS is concerned, you just sold your interest in one company and bought an interest in a different company, and you can take a big loss and write down your profits from other stock trades.

The IRS does prohibit wash-trading, but only in the narrowest sense. Brokerages are obliged to report trades in which a customer buys and sells exactly the same security, with the same unique ID (the CUSIP number), within 60 days. Beyond that, IRS guidance is extraordinarily wishy-washy, calling on filers to "consider all the facts and circumstances" of their transactions. Sure, that'll work.

Propublica found zero instances of the IRS targeting any of these trades, ever, for enforcement. That's especially true of the most egregious version of loss-harvesting, a special version that only the ultra-rich can take advantage of, called "direct indexing." You might know about "index funds," where a brokerage sells a single fund that tracks a broad index of stocks - for example, you can buy an S&P 500 index that goes up and down with the total value of the top 500 stocks in America.

Direct indexing is something that giant banks like Goldman Sachs offer to their very richest clients. The brokerage buys a mix of stocks that are likely to track the whole index, and puts those shares directly into the client's account. Rather than owning shares in a fund that owns the stocks, you own the stocks directly. That means that when you want to harvest some losses, you can sell just a few of the stocks in the index, rather than your shares in the whole fund.

Here's how that works. In 2017, the US index was up 20%; global indexes were up even more. Steve Ballmer made a bundle. But Goldman Sachs, acting on Ballmer's behalf, sold s few of the stocks in the portfolio and harvested a $100,000,000 loss, that Ballmer could use to trick the IRS into treating his massive profits as though he'd made very little taxable income.

Goldman uses a whole range of tricks to keep billionaires like Ballmer in a lower tax-bracket than the janitors who clean the floors after his team's games. They not only buy and sell different classes of stock in companies like Discovery and Fox; they also buy and sell the same company's stock in different countries. For example, they sold Ballmer's shares in Shell in one country, and then immediately bought the same amount of shares in another country. The IRS doesn't treat this as a wash-trade, despite the fact that the shares have the same value, and, indeed, companies like Shell routinely merge their overseas and domestic shares with no change in valuation.

Thanks to Goldman's ruses - and the IRS's willingness to accept them - Ballmer's wealth has swollen to grotesque proportions. He generated $579 million in losses from 2014-18, and as a result, got to keep at least $138m that he'd have otherwise had to pay to the IRS.

Goldman's not the only one in on this game: Iconiq Captial - a firm that also offers marriage partner scouting for its richest clients - has $13.2 billion under management on behalf of just 337 people. Among those high-rollers: Mark Zuckerberg, whose $88m in gains from Iconiq investments were offset by $34m in imaginary losses that the company manufactured with wash-trades.

In theory, the simplest form of wash-trading - selling your Vanguard China fund and buying a Schwab China fund - is available to any investor. Leaving aside the fact that the top 1% of Americans own most of the stock, this is still a deceptive proposition. This kind of wash-trading only benefits investors who hold their shares outside of a sheltered retirement account, which is a vanishing minority indeed.

Instead, the primary beneficiaries of this activity are the usual suspects: convicted monopolists like Ballmer, or useless scions of wealthy families, like the kids of Walmart founder Sam Walton, who emerged into this world through very lucky orifices and are thus effectively exempt from the need to work or pay tax for life.

Jim Walton is Sam Walton's youngest orifice-lottery-winner. Young Jim saw a $10 billion increase in his wealth from 2014-18, making him the tenth richest person in America. Thanks to wash-trading, he declared only $111 million of that $10 billion on his taxes, and paid $0.00 in tax on that $10 billion gains.

One way that the rich are especially well-situated to exploit loss-harvesting is in converting short-term gains - which are taxed at 40% - into long-term gains, which are taxed at 20%. For people who make a lot of money buying and selling shares as pure speculation, flipping them in less than a year, wash-trading can create the appearance of long-term holdings. Analyzing their trove of leaked IRS files, Propublica showed that Americans who report over $10 million in income almost never report short-term gains. Instead, two-thirds of the richest Americans report short-term losses.

One fascinating wrinkle is that rich people may not even know this is going on. Whatsapp co-founder Brian Acton, managed to "lose" $2.9 million when he sold $17 million in shares - the same day he bought $17 million in shares in nearly the same companies from another brokerage. Then, a few months later, he reversed those transactions, selling his new fund and buying the old one and harvesting another $600,000 in losses.

When Propublica asked Acton about this, he told them he was "not really aware of any events like that...Broadly my wealth is managed by a wealth management firm and they manage all the day to day transactions."

This is completely believable and consistent with the extraordinarily frank account of how elite money-management works that Abigail Disney described in 2021, where the ultra-rich are insulated from the scams, tricks and wheezes that lawyers and accountants dream up to keep their fortunes steadily mounting with no action needed on their part:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/19/dynastic-wealth/#caste

Could the IRS block this kind of wash-trading? Yes, but they'd need action from Congress. The most effective way to do this would be to force shareholders to "mark to market" the value of their holdings, taxing them each year on the fluctuations in their portfolio.

Propublica notes that this is incredibly unlikely to happen, though. As an alternative, Congress could change the rule that blocks investors from claiming losses when they buy and sell "substantially identical" shares with a rule that applies to "substantially similar" stocks. This proposal comes from Columbia Law's David Schizer, who says the law "ought to be updated to reflect how people invest today instead of how they invested 100 years ago."

But for any of that to have an effect, the IRS would have to change its auditing and enforcement practices, which currently see low-income earners (who can't afford fancy tax-lawyers who'll tie up the IRS for months or years) being disproportionately targeted, while America's super-rich, ultra-rich, and stupid-rich are allowed to submit the most hilariously, obviously fictional returns and get away with it.

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Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in San Diego, Burbank, Mountain View, Berkeley, San Francisco, Portland, Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

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[Image ID: A dilapidated shack. A sign reading 'Internal Revenue Service Building' stands next to it. From its eaves depends another sign, reading 'Internal Revenue Service' and bearing the IRS logo. From the window of the shack beams the grinning face of billionaire Steve Ballmer. Behind the shack is a DC avenue terminating in the Capitol Dome.]

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Image: Matthew Bisanz (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:NYC_IRS_office_by_Matthew_Bisanz.JPG

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

Ted Eytan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2021.02.07_DC_Street,_Washington,_DC_USA_038_13205-Edit_%2850920473547%29.jpg

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Bart Everson (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/editor/1287341637

Eric Garcetti (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Steve_Ballmer_2014.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

#pluralistic #paper losses #direct indexing #tax-loss harvesting #steve ballmer #propublica #irs files #the rich are different from you and me #mego #wash trading #tax evasion #goldman sachs #vampire squid #mark zuckerberg

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 11 months

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reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

#bookblr #reading updates

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courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme · 3 months

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The Hateful Eight (2015, Quentin Tarantino)

02/03/2024

The Hateful Eight is a 2015 film, written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Channing Tatum and Bruce Dern.

This is Tarantino's second western film after Django Unchained. The film was announced in November 2013, only to be canceled a few months later when its script was leaked online. Tarantino later rewrote part of the script, changing the ending, and started production, which began filming on December 8, 2014 in Telluride, Colorado.

Distributed in the United States by the Weinstein Company, the director opted for a limited distribution starting from December 25, 2015 in Ultra Panavision 70mm film, a format that has not been used for about fifty years. It was distributed digitally and on a large scale on January 24th, while in Italy the two release dates were respectively January 28th 2016 for the film version and February 4th for the digital one.

It was well received by critics, but did not surpass the box office records of its predecessors Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained. The soundtrack was entirely composed by the Italian composer Ennio Morricone, who received an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a BAFTA and a Critics' Choice Awards for this work.

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heliopauseentertainments · 10 months

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Coffee Kwest

For badbang (on Dreamwidth) - Bad Bang V: The Rebangening

Illustrated here by @desdemonafictional

All formatting errors intentionally retained.

Continuity: IDW1 Rating: General Characters: Minimus Ambus Warnings: Crack & nonsense

Summary: Minimus is on a quest to get coffee.

Crossposting: AO3 | Dreamwidth

Fic below the cut.

The infuser. Full of tepid plain fuel.

The stimulant syrup packets. All gone.

The mug. Empty.

The worst possible scenario.

Minimus stared at the mug in his hands, decorated with a cute turbofox motif. A gift from Rodimus for his most recent creation day… that had been given a week late because the calendar reminder had been set up incorrectly.

The previous night, Minimus had double-checked his stocks for his morning warm beverage. There had been plenty, more than enough for several days, several doses.

The stimulant was there to protect his one remaining, most carefully guarded secret: that he was, in fact, a night owl.

Warm, stimulant-laced fuel was a necessary tool to maintain his hard-won façade of being a morning person. His routine was to get up earlier than was strictly required, throw back sufficient doses of the artificial illusion of energy, and let it take effect before actually leaving to where anyone could encounter him.

Now, all of his essential recreational stimulant-imbibing supplies were missing save for the mug and the wall-mounted infuser.

And without the supplies, Minimus was in no condition to actually investigate what was clearly a theft.

He had to get the doses… soon, from somewhere, from anywhere, before anyone could see him, before anyone could clue in that he’d been full of additional, petty lies for years. When stripped of his outer armor, his faux persona of Ultra Magnus, everyone believed Minimus had put all of his cards on the table, no more hiding, no more fibs.

Yet this one, so shameful in its seeming inconsequentiality, remained.

There remained but one thing to do.

Mug in hand, Minimus slid open one of the ventilation panels in his habsuite, before proceeding to crawl inside.

Minimus stuck his arm out of the vent, making scooping motions in the air with the mug.

The ventilation system had been made purposefully large in most places to accommodate maintenance access to otherwise remote components of the ship. For a species with such a variety of body shapes and sizes, it was best to engineer with near-universal compatibility in mind. Minimus, with his minuscule body, was well accommodated by the vast bulk of the system.

No one would find him, crawling around with the painfully empty mug clasped in his hand.

It wasn’t a quiet method of travel, but the Lost Light was generally full of noise at most hours of the day and night. The crew would likely not notice any banging sounds in the walls unless they were already paying attention to that sort of thing.

It would be fine.

Now if only he could reach the commissary’s large, mass-infusing equipment from the vent just above it.

Most of the crew was still asleep but the infuser was automatically operated at all hours, just in case. Night shift tended to consist of a few people stationed on the bridge or the security office or engineering, which meant few witnesses.

The infuser had a large tank on top.

He just needed to—Minimus leaned further, swinging the mug in a wide arc.

The edge of the mug caught the lip of the tank’s lid. Just a little more leverage and—The lid popped off, clattering to the floor of the empty commissary.

Victory was in sight!

The mug just needed to scoop out some of that precious, precious stimulating fuel.

He leaned more of his torso out into the air to dunk the mug in… but it wouldn’t reach.

Stretching, he groaned in frustration… before the mug slipped from his grip.

Splash.

Into the tank.

The mug, still empty, floated mockingly on the top of the fluid in the tank.

On instinct, Minimus lunged for it, to save the gift from a wet grave.

Impacting the tank’s wall, Minimus frantically grabbed for the edge, desperately trying to pull himself out before he could sink beneath the caffeinated waves.

Crack.

The reinforced glass gave way under his kicking and flailing, the liquid pouring out of the new hole and onto the floor.

Crack.

The infuser separated from the wall, tumbling sideways with Minimus and his mug, clutched protectively to his chest, still trapped within the tank.

Crash.

They spiraled to the ground together, where the tank shattered on impact and the rest of the infuser smashing apart nearby.

For several moments Minimus was dazed, lying on the ground and covered in both shards of glass and the sticky remains of the wasted fuel that could no longer go towards fixing his problem.

Precious, precious stimulant-laden fuel… wasted upon the ground like a missed opportunity, spoiled by his own hubris.

All the while, his exhaustion and disdain for the wee hours of the morning burned in the back of his optics like a curse.

He needed to press on.

Before anyone could find out.

After shaking the bulk of the glass off, he scaled the wall, miraculously intact mug in hand, and reentered the vent.

Only one option remained to him, short of attempting to steal the priceless beverage right out of someone’s hand. That was far too risky, especially covered in drying fuel and remaining shards of glass.

No, Minimus would have to raid one of the cargo bays, and get stimulant syrup directly from the stores.

Yes, this would require some adjustments in the inventories, but so would dealing with replacing the commissary’s bulk infuser that had been the tragic victim of unavoidable collateral damage. As the saying went, in for a shanix, in for….

Minimus couldn’t recall the next unit of currency above that. His situation was worse than he’d originally thought.

Crawling on his hands and knees, the mug clacking against the floor of the ventilation shaft, he found his motions growing sluggish, unsteady. Would he even make it all the way to the cargo bay like this?

He would have to.

There was no alternative.

A small crack in the ventilation shaft gave way. Alarms blared throughout the ship, triggered by the damage to the ship’s structure.

Minimus tumbled into the crates of cargo below, crashing through the top of one of them. The force knocked the crate from the top of the stack, falling to the ground and smashing open.

The crate’s soft contents squished on impact, cushioning Minimus’s fall.

Something sticky and thick clung to his frame. Minimus raised his hand in front of his face to see what exactly he’d fallen in.

A faintly glowing syrupy substance flowed slowly down his hand.

Wait.

Stimulant syrup.

He’d landed in packets of the stuff, some having burst open from the collision. The packets were scattered across the floor around and under him.

Without thinking, he licked the undiluted syrup from his hands.

The alarms continued to howl overhead.

But he didn’t care.

The unadulterated buzz from the syrup was working its way into his circuits, relieving the exhausted burn that had been nagging at him every step of the way.

Running footsteps echoed in the hall outside as Minimus ripped open packets of syrup with his teeth, unwilling to let go of the mug in his hand.

Soon.

Soon he would feel like a functional person—He faintly heard the doors to the cargo bay opening.

“Whoa.”

Miminus

#fic #one shot #minimus ambus #maccadam #idw1 #mtmte

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pokemon-card-of-the-day · 1 year

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Pokemon Card of the Day #2890: Banette-GX (Celestial Storm)

Banette-GX was a strange Pokemon. It was going to do almost nothing for a large portion of the game unless you badly had to fetch cards from your discard pile early and were willing to give up your team's GX attack to do so. As the game wore on, Banette-GX became more powerful, to the point where it was reaching numbers seen on rather successful attackers for a single Energy. The damage was capped, keeping it in check, and it wasn't like attackers were hard to find. Having this option, especially on a type that had some use for hitting Weaknesses for a while, was nice indeed, and this card seemed to be destined to have at least some play.

190 HP was on the low end for Pokemon-GX. Its best format was probably back in the BKT-On format and maybe the beginning of SUM-On, where the number held up reasonably well when trying to survive a single hit. The Weakness to Darkness was a huge problem with Zoroark-GX being so popular, giving an easily used Pokemon a clean KO a lot of the time. The Fighting Resistance gave a small cushion against those Buzzwole and Zygarde decks, which were also quite common. Being able to retreat for a single Energy was also good, as Banette-GX would never have more than 1 Energy attached in the first place.

Shady Move was an Ability that was limited to 1 use per turn and also only worked if Banette-GX was the Active Pokemon. In that case, you could move a damage counter from 1 Pokemon to another. This included moving one from your side of the field to the opponent's side. While this wasn't always a big deal, it could set up for a KO or heal something out of a damage range every once in a while. If Banette-GX was Active it was usually worth doing something like this.

Shadow Chant started off really slowly. 30 damage was the base here, and while it only required a single Psychic Energy, that wasn't going to get very far. 10 damage was added for each Supporter in your discard pile, and the maximum added damage was 100. This would naturally get stronger as a game went on, not only from use of Supporters but also discards from the likes of Ultra Ball and Professor Sycamore. 130 was possible by the later stages of the game, which took most things before the Tag Team era down in 2 hits. Pokemon such as Buzzwole-GX, Necrozma-GX, and Marshadow-GX could be good targets on that Weakness of theirs, giving Banette a good use to back up anything that struggled with those.

Tomb Hunt GX also just needed a Psychic Energy, but did use the team's GX attack for the game. It let you get 3 cards from your discard pile to put in your hand, which could be nice in a pinch. It was not going to be used too often, since it was a non-damaging attack from a Stage 1 GX, but was worth remembering about for those rare spots where you had to have that one important thing back for the next turn.

Banette-GX had a short, but rather good, run in the game. There were quite a few Pokemon with Psychic Weaknesses while a major Pokemon, Zoroark-GX, had a Fighting Weakness that Banette also helped with to an extent. The end of the UPR-On format was where Banette-GX was a serious threat. The game shifted to even stronger Pokemon soon after, and the Tag Teams had such high HP that 130 just wasn't that special anymore, although Shady Move helped quite a bit. Its peak did manage to be around the World Championships in 2018, and while it didn't make top 8, it did get into the top 16 and then had some very early SUM-On regional results. It was a card to take seriously if you saw it, as it was a strong late-game attacker in its time.

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