#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.
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haiiiii 👋
love ur work! could u write a toji x reader ? if u could include oral s3x pls its my fav! have him f!ngering her while making out 😍😍 and maybe he can be an older brothers bestfriend so they have to be sneaky 😏 thanks so much xx
Ticking time Bomb
Ans: thank you so much and of course I’ve been dying to write something.
Summary: As your brother went out to get some food, you and his best friend Toji race the clock, seeing if he can make you cum before your brother returns.
Content: MDNI!, afab reader, 18+, smut, Toji x reader, oral sex, receiving, fingering, making out, trying not to be caught, praise, swearing
A/N: This prompt always gets me, I eat up a brothers best friend trop this one is shorter than most of my other ones hope that's okay.
You and your brother had been left alone, the two of you finally had the house all to yourselves as your parents had left on a business trip for the next three days. Though there was a twist, since the two of you had the place alone, your brother jumped at the opportunity to bring his friends over, one of those friends being Toji, how you couldn’t stand him. He was a cold and shielded guy, always smoking, getting himself into trouble, always picking on you and getting under your skin, he was a disturbance of your peace everytime he was over. But you couldn’t lie, he was a good looking guy and he had charm, it got to you each and every time finding yourself in the same situation, over and over again.
It was evident that you were bored, sprawled out across your bed in the dark, the only light in the room was coming from your phone illuminating onto your face. Your stomach let out a low rumbling sound that emanates from your abdomen, causing a sigh to escape your lips sitting up and off of your bed. You were hungry and you knew your brother wasn’t gonna make anything so, you went to ask if he was gonna get take out. As you made your way down to the basement your eyes automatically locked on Toji, sprawled out across the couch blowing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. He noticed your presence, his head turning to face you, taking another drag from his cigarette.
“you looking for someone darling?” ugh that fucking nickname, as much as you wanted to say you hated it. You’d be lying. “I'm just looking for my brother.” You said leaning against the doorframe doing your best to keep the annoyance out of your voice. “What are you even doing here, come to bother me some more?” you asked him, crossing your arms. A cloud of smoke escaped his lips as he chuckled, “And what if I said yes, what if I said I like to come over just to see you?” his eyes locked on yours for a second before continuing. “Anyways, your brother is busy, went out to get some food.” You nodded your head taking in what he said, good thing you were really hungry. “Alright sounds good, see yah” You said turning on your heels quickly walking up the stairs. Toji quickly sat up and put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. “Hey- hey wait a second.” He said quickly following you up the stairs.
You did your best to ignore him, and made your way over to your room opening the door, but he was quick to reach his hand up and close it. “What are you doing?” You asked, looking up at his hand keeping your door shut. Toji’s eyes were burning into the top of your head, keeping silent for a moment. “You know. .” He said in a cold whisper, you felt as his free hand moved down, gently placing itself onto your hips. “We have some time till your brother comes back. .”Toji said, whispering into your ear, a chill rushing through your body. “Toji. we can’t” You let out in a low whine. His face leans down moving past your hair, his warm breath hitting up against your neck. “I know you want to.”
You turned around to face him, he fixed his posture so he was staring down at you. Your mind was racing, it couldn’t be long before your brother was home, but you totally could be quick. . and he’d never know. It's not like you haven’t done it before. “Okay. but qui-” Toji didn’t even give you time to finish your sentence, he opened your door and shut it behind him, guiding you over to your bed. Your back pressed against your bed as Toji’s lips firmly pressed against your own. He left you not a single moment to think, before he was pulling both your pants and panties down in one quick motion. His fingers began trailing down your stomach and reaching for your inner thighs, spreading them apart, giving him full access to your most private area. “You’re so wet for me," he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and heavy.
With one swift motion, he inserted both his index and middle finger inside you, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. As he continued to pump his fingers into you slowly, his tongue pushed past your lips, lapping with yours. Toji grinned into the kiss as he felt your pussy clamp down around his fingers, you were close to cumming and he could feel it. His fingers pulled out of you pushing them into your mouth. “Taste yourself on my fingers, pretty girl” he said to you with a shit eating grin, and that you did, sucking your juices off of his fingers. “Why did you stop?” you let out muffled.
“Because baby, I want you to cum on my tongue” Toji said as he began moving down in between your legs, planting soft kisses against your thighs, he was about to devour you with his mouth. It wasn’t long before a gentle kiss was placed against your pussy. His tongue darted out, flicking at your clit gently before plunging inside you. You arched your back, your nails digging into the sheets as pleasure coursed through your body. Toji continued his assault, his tongue working in perfect harmony.
You bit your bottom lip trapping in your moans just in case your brother came home, every now and again they would escape. They sounded like symphonies to Tojis ears. His pace began to pick up your orgasm right around the corner as it was before, the knot building up in your core. You could feel it, you were on the edge when you heard the front door open. A course of panic went through your body as well as pleasure. You didn’t know what to do. It wouldn't be long until your brother came in looking for Toji. “Toji stop hes-he home” You said doing your best to push his head away but he didn’t budge.
His tongue began to pick up the pace, his fingers dipping back into your wet pussy, pumping in and out of you, in perfect sync with his tongue. Your hands coming up to your mouth as you wanted to block out any foreign sound that was to leave your mouth. You could hear your brother moving throughout the house, as the knot in your stomach was about to burst. As you were about to cum Toji slipped his fingers out once more using just his tongue to make you cum.
“Oh fuck” You moaned into your hands feeling as you finally gave into the release. You were cumming on his tongue, exactly what he wanted. Your legs were shaking as Toji pulled his head away from between your legs, licking your juices off of his lips. “You're fucking beautiful baby” he said to you softly.
The two of you heard as the door knob to your door began to turn, you quickly put the blanket over top of your bottom half and Toji sat on the edge of the bed. “There you are.” your brother said, sounding annoyed from the hunt to find his friend. “What are you doing in my sister's room?” he asked, sounding somewhat confused. “Got bored,” Toji said, shrugging. “ Well come on, the food’s here.” Your brother said stepping out of your room walking away. Your fell back crashing against your pillow with a sigh. “That was too close.”
@allicat0 signing off. .
#fanfiction#smut#anime#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushigro x reader#toji fanfic#brothers best friend#18+ mdni#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk smut
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I have no control impulse. Inspired by this masterpiece from the lovely @blamemma (also hello @summer04rayne @jisblooming <3)
Or how I ended up writing a streamer!Max AU
° ° °
“What's got you smiling like that, mate?”
Max blinks, zoning back into the conversation.
“What?”
Alex, his best friend, the traitor, chuckles at his confusion, and when he looks at his screen, the chat is doing so too. Max flushes, quickly locking his phone before focusing back on the stream. Alex is grinning widely at him on the screen. Ugh, what a pain.
“Tell us, Maxy, come on, what got you giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush, eh?”
That fucker! Alex laughs knowingly, and the chat goes wild as usual when they get to tease him, and Max knows he'll have to answer now. He clears his throat, trying to sound as unruffled as possible.
“I just- found a really cool looking Instagram page, that's all…”
The Thai's grin somehow widens even more, almost shark-like, and Max just dug his own grave, didn't he?
“Yeah? Wouldn't it happen to be a certain travel vlogger's page, perchance, Maxy?”
The blonde feels heat rising in his face, and he doesn’t need to look into the screen to know that he's blushing furiously. It's probably spreading to his neck too, god. Max hides his face in his hands, embarrassment making his skin crawl. Him and his big mouth and his lack of self-control when it comes to a certain curly haired brunette.
“That's- it's not- ugh!”
He stumbles over his words, and he hears Alex laugh harder in his headset. He knows it's good natured, though, and that's the only thing keeping him from just ending the call.
“Tell them more about Daniel, Max! Look how excited they are, you can't deny them that, come on!”
Max shakes his head, drinks a sip of his Red Bull to try and regain his composure. Alex got the chat involved now, and that means he can’t just brush it off. Well, he could, and honestly, apart from some trolls here and there, his little community is really nice and understanding, and they know not to push on things if Max doesn't want to elaborate. But… this is kind of harmless, he guesses, so he can play their game a bit.
The blonde sighs, glancing at the chat, and yeah, they're going wild. Thanks, Alex
“I don't even know why I'm friends with you, at this point.”
“Don't say that! I know you love my pretty face and my humor.”
° ° °
Half an hour later, Max wraps up the stream, a faint blush lingering on his cheeks after all that had happened during what Alex had described as “gushing over Daniel for more than ten minutes”.
He gets up, tidying his desk, throwing away the empty Red Bull cans and water bottles, as well as any wrapper he could find. Finally, he leaves his streaming room, shutting off all the lights and closing the door.
There's no sounds in the small apartment, which probably means his roommate is already asleep. It's like, 3am, so, fair. Max gets ready for bed before slipping under the covers, practically melting on the soft mattress. Just as he reaches for his phone to plug it to charge, he sees it.
Daniel Ricciardo uploaded a new video
He clicks on it with neck breaking speed, a beginning of shame curling in his gut when he sees it was posted barely thirty seconds ago. He likes it, saves it in a playlist for good measure, and lets Daniel's australian accent drown his self-loathing and lull him to sleep.
#f1#f1 fic#ficlet#wip#daniel ricciardo#dr#mv#max verstappen#maxiel#alex albon#aa#just a lil taste of the other au im working on hehe#streamer!max au
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Virgin reader and older price 🤭🤭
(Not creepily older tho)
Feel free to ignore tho xx
“Such a pretty face <3”
Pairing; older!price x virgin!reader
Cw; price is in late thirties reader is in mid/late twenties ^^
Synopsis; your boyfriend is more than happy to help! But surprise!!! You’re a.. virgin? :(
A/n; kinda long so there’s a divider where nfsw starts!! Also dividers from @rookthornesartistry and @cafekitsune 💋
ˏ ˋ°•*⁀➷ TINDER WAS CERTAINLY NOT A GOOD PLACE TO FIND “LOVE.”
You knew that. But at a party with your friends, you were forced to make an account. “Oh cmon Y/N, you're still single after all this time? You know, Mya found her husband a Tinder, you should download it! You never know, you could find a real hit!” She babbled, and when two more of your friends joined in, you were pure pressured into getting that stupid fucking app.
But.. should you really be that mad? You gained a boyfriend who’s a total dilf minus the kid. It’s pretty nice actually, treated like a princess 24/7 and loved on. You love that he’s older too, he teaches you things.
So when he offers to watch movies with you, who are you to deny? Time with your lovely boyfriend is all you need. Sitting next to him with his hand gently gripping and rubbing your inner thigh. It’s been driving you crazy since this dumb movie started.
“You alright lovie?” He smirks, and you nod. “Yeah.. j-just a bit hot y’know?” Your breathing is heavy, you can’t really focus on the movie. “I understand Lovie.” Grinning, he trailed his thick fingers to your clothed cunt. skirt lifted, providing easy access.
“Wait- price..” you squirm, thighs slamming closed. “What’s wrong?” He freezes. “Price. I’m a virgin..” you’re almost ashamed. You’ve never told him before and you’re saying it now? Ugh, this is so fucking embarrassing. Tearing up a bit
“Hey hey, don’t cry lovie, it’s nothin’ to be ashamed about sweetheart.” He cups your cheek, making you look in his beautiful blue eyes. They make you feel so safe, y’know? Just so calm. And god he’s so soft, husband material but stern when he needs to be. “It’s okay sweetheart, really.”
“Really? You’re not mad or anything?” Your head tilts. “Why would I be mad? That’s absurd lovie.” He chuckled, kissing your cheek. Beard tickling your soft skin. “I dunno, It’s just kinda embarrassing.” You watch as his face falls. “It’s not embarrassing. I was a virgin too once, just like everyone else in the world. So please stop saying it’s embarrassing sweetheart. Because I swear, it’s not.”
He always seems to have a way with his words. It amazes you sometimes. “Tell me you understand sweetheart.” He nods, and you do too. “I understand love. And. I know you said it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but.. Can you uh.. touch me?” You aren’t too shocked when his eyes widen, followed by ‘Are you sure?’ Fuck this is embarrassing.
His finger is thick, it’s expected but you never knew it could feel this good. “Feels good love?” You nod, he wanted to keep watching the movie, but he made sure to keep paying attention to you. Of course, he did. But how the hell did he expect you to pay attention to this movie? What was happening again? Shit.. it’s one finger but it feels so damn good. Curling up on your G-spot, the rope tightening in your stomach, threatening to snap.
“Fuckkk..” you whine, grinding into his hand. Breath quickened when he rubbed on your puffy clit. “I asked a question sweetheart, wouldn’t an answer be nice?” You can almost hear that cocky smile if that was even possible. But it makes you tighten around him, drenching his fingers. “g-good it feels soo~ good” shuddering when he speeds up.
“Ya think another finger would fit?”
“Y-yes- please!” Who knew you could be so whiney? Not you. But price makes you feel so good. And if this is just his finger then what if-
You let out a pathetically loud moan, how the hell did you not notice him putting another one of his thick ass fingers in you? It feels so good though, you. “Bloody hell sweetheart. So fuckin wet right? Feel good?” He nods. Moving slow, then picking up the speed a bit. “M-mhm!” You whine, the rope in your stomach finally snapping and your vision blurring a bit. Coating his fingers in creamy cum. Your cum.
Your gooey walls tighten around his fingers, hand gripping at his arm. “N-Nghhh..” you moan, shuddering as he gently pulls his fingers out of your drenching hole. His fingers were coated in a thin layer of cum. You think you may be hallucinating when he licks his fingers clean. “And tastes fuckin’ magical sweetheart.” He grins, kissing your neck. Your cunt is cold, the wetness attracting the cool air.
“Price.. you’re hard as fuck..” you giggle, his dick making a menacing print in his pants. Was it possible to be that big? You’ve seen it before in the shower and stuff but it was soft then. He’s really a grower.
Safe to say you ended the night with him passionately fucking your puffy cunt. After you followed him to your shared bedroom of course. Whining in his ear as he whispered sweet praises into yours. The prep was good too. Tongue fucking you and rubbing your clit until you were technically brain dead. Giving you time and waiting for the green light to continue. And the aftercare was one of a kind, nothing you shouldn’t expect from a total sweetheart.
He’d set a nice warm bath for you and massage your skin, even if he didn’t fuck you rough at all he’d still take care of you!! :)
I got so carried away ughh!! 😭 but I really liked writing this 😆 reblogs and likes r appreciated!! Also if you too wanna submit an ask I would be more than happy to make you ask come true my love!
#faeridollz#cod x reader#faeridollz asks!!#cod smut#captain john price#price x reader#cod price#captain price#john price#captain johnathan price#faeridollzspeaks💗
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Hall Pass
Jay White x Female Reader
NSFW Minors DNI 18+
@midwestmade29 @madhatterbri
You need these” Jay handing me his sunglasses even though we were just sitting down for lunch in catering. “What? Why?” my attention drawn elsewhere. “If you’re going to stare at golden boys ass like that, at least do it from behind the glasses.” there was no humor in his tone. Just then Mariah walked in Jay reached back for the glasses putting them on as his head slightly followed her across the room.
I roll my eyes dramatically at him “I’ve lost my appetite.” pushing back from the table. “Sit, Sweetheart. If I didn’t eat every time you stared at golden boy , I would’ve starved to death by now.” he growled only low of enough for me to hear. I glared at him, as I took a bite. “A lesser man would’ve left you for your disrespectful eye fucking of golden boy. I however am not a lesser man. In fact from what I hear a romp with him isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” his wink and smirk had me wanting to stab him with my fork.
“ Why are you so ruffled? I saw that flash in your eyes. I’m a fair man, if you want a night of being pounded in to and being called Bruv, I’ll say yes, but you’ll have to say yes to me taking Mariah back to the hotel, but I know what I’m getting into. Those stardom girls are something different all together.”he made the chefs kiss motion. “I’m done here.” pushing back from the table and walking out of the room I heard his laugh as I left , Mariah taking a seat next to him as I glanced back.
“Ugh, I fucking hate him” slamming the door behind me entering into the Bullet Club Gold locker room. “ Who do you hate?” the unmistakable voice of Skye asked sitting up from the couch in the room. “What the fuck?”completely caught off guard staring at her. “ Hey now, Jay said I could lay down in here. He’s a real sweetheart. Seriously though, are you okay?” as she made room on the couch. “ No, yes, maybe. Jays the nod infuriating man I’ve ever met.” Sitting down “ But what did you do?” Nudging my shoulder playfully. “ Apparently I was staring at Wills ass.” she laughed “Its not funny. He then started staring at Mariah. Who the hell can compete with that and she just sat down with him as I left.” I put my head in my hands. “ It’s funny I got in the same situation twice with Kyle. Once for Will and once for Jay.” I looked at my jaw dropped .”Come on, look at him, he’s all abs and attitude. You know what you have. Don’t act shocked that I looked at him.” Smirking at me. “So why Will? Aside from his God like body. I get to say that because I’m sharing an apartment with him and Kyle. What is that keeps pulling your attention away?.” I hesitated “I’m your best friend just tell me.” Her hand taking mine. “ You’re right about abs and attitude with Jay. I don’t know he’s like that golden retriever puppy he’s just so fucking happy and nice. I’ll be fine and I’m gonna stop looking at Will. Jay thinks it’s all about that and I quote be pounded and called bruv. When it’s more like I want to have a burger and a laugh.” I sighed “ I trust Jay implicitly and I get why he did what he did, but he offered me a hall pass for Will if he could have one with her.” looking at my bestie “ Holy shit what did you say? Is Jay really okay with that ?Everyone knows he’s batshit crazy over you.” I got up and began to pace “ I didn’t say anything what the hell could I say, I was pissed and hurt that he’d actually say that. Maybe he’s tired of me, maybe it’s closer to being over than it is for forever. Fuck if I know. I’ve got to get out of here before he comes in here.” moving toward my bag. “Want my opinion I think you are handling too much of his shit? But I’m gonna say this because I love all three of you. Don’t take the hall pass and don’t give him one either. Will’s not for you, but if you want that burger and a laugh come out with me and Kyle, Will, and Mark I can make that happen.” She stood and hugged me. “I’m gonna head out I think you and Jay have some shit to talk about.” she left just as I was debating about following her.
“Sweetheart where are you headed?” Jay’s mocking tone filling the room as he and Skye passed each other. “ None of your fucking business.” walking towards him. “ Tsk tsk you know our rule we don’t leave each other mad. Besides the best part of fighting is the fucking afterwards.” he stalked me till my back was up against the wall. “ So are we done fighting?” his hand tracing my face the other one finding my hip.
“ Mariah not available?” I seethe but my body craves his touch. “You’d look so pretty wearing my hand as a necklace “ his fingers tracing the side of my neck his thumb pressing lightly causing me to gasp. “Sweetheart, there’s no one, that I want or need more than you.” his kiss sure and deep, his hand keeping my focus only on him. “ Keep looking at me like you want to fuck me but you also want to kill me." His hands thread in my hair, as he continues to kiss me. His hips move and he growls a bit of delight in the back of his throat. His hand pulls my hair harder, and it's like I'm completely swallowed by him.
I fall into that kiss, tumbling deep into this moment, forgetting about everything.
His fingers keep dip below my waistband stroking my pussy over my panties, the other hand gripping my ass. His hard body pins me against the wall and I wrap my arms around his neck, going insane with bliss. "You're fucking soaked," Jay’s voice amused. “You're touching me of course I am.” His mouth buries mine, hungry now, and his fingers slip underneath and tease up and down my slit. I'm moaning into his tongue and I don't care anymore as his fingers slide inside of me, fucking me nice and deep. Oh my god, he presses against that spot inside me . My knees go limp and he's supporting my weight as his fingers stroke in and out, hitting the spot over and over. My eyes roll back, l'm moaning, mindless, insane with pleasure, and he's not stopping.
He bites my lower lip and whispers, "Come for me, sweetheart, come on, you need it, don't you?"
"Yes," | gasp, shaking as I shatter on his hand. I come in a sudden rush, my fingers digging into his back, my cheeks tingling. "Good girl”he whispers my head resting on his shoulder.
“Jay, I’m…” his finger on my lips silenced me. “ I took it to far I’m sorry.” kissing my forehead. “Just the idea of you..” I put my finger on his lips this time.
#aew smut.#aew smut#aew fanfiction#switchblade jay white x reader#jay white x you#jay white fanfiction#jay white smut#switchblade jay white smut
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Based on @wisecloudnightmare’s tags in the Altaïr and Desmond commits identity fraud (on each other) idea:
#this makes me think of that one comic where joonghyuk keeps saying going away kim dokja and then when kim dokha really disappears #he says don't you ever leave again or I'll kill you asfghjkbijgds #ugh but altaïr with 999th joonghyuk's personality would be so fascinating too #the one where his mind is really fragile but he's still a beast to fight with. only kdj can tame him.
(Absolute spoilers to ORV underneath)
I believe you are talking about the 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk. 999th Yoo Joonghyuk is the best boi who sacrificed his limbs and life so his companions could reach the ending even without him by making a pact with a certain Outer God (which I think would be a fun idea to play with as well).
We’ll focus on 1863rd version for this one and we’ll make it so that Altaïr is regressing over and over again and he has no idea why.
He’s caught in a time loop that starts every time he died (doesn’t matter when, where or how, what matters is he dies) and he doesn’t even have a goal to focus on.
He always regresses to the same point:
The moment he killed an innocent man underneath the Temple Mount, Malik saying the same words again and again.
Nothing worked.
Getting the Apple of Eden during this time did not help.
Saving Kadar did not do anything.
Killing Abbas before he orders the death of his family and friends did not end this cursed life.
His first life was not perfect but it was a fulfilling one.
His later lives?
He could not bear to watch his sons grow and die before him.
He could not bear the thought of that family of his from long ago become just another part of this wretched tragedy.
That’s when the Apple whispers to him of what he must do.
It never did that before.
So he agrees to it as long as the Apple promises to find a way to finally kill him without any chance of returning to that point.
The Apple only says “Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s greatest wish will come true in this ‘round’.”
The Apple’s instructions gets Altaïr to kill Al Mualim early on, branding him a traitor and pitting him against his own brothers. This culminates in pretty much a ‘me versus the world’ with Malik being ordered to hunt him down together with Abbas.
During one of the three-way fight between Altaïr, some Assassins and the guards of the city they are in, Desmond appears.
Now…
Desmond survived the Solar Flare but how he did it was hazy. What he does know is that something is terrible wrong with Altaïr because he doesn’t look like the Altaïr in his memories.
This Altaïr is both more savage yet also more tired than Desmond remembered.
There is a resignation in his movements even as he dodged everything. As if he had given up on life but knows he must continue to move forward, ignoring the pain and tiredness of his mortal body.
Desmond doesn’t know about the regressions until the Apple tells him that this is the 1863rd ‘loop’.
Because of this, Desmond tries to help him and Altaïr leans on him because he is an anomaly. He knows of Altaïr’s first life.
He only knows about Altaïr’s first life, reminding him about it when he himself barely remembers it.
Desmond was from the original timeline.
Desmond was the real key to end this, not the Apple.
And so Altaïr started to depend on him.
Protecting Desmond was the most important thing in this entire world because he was Desmond, the key to ending all of this and the first person to ever get pass the darkness that has clouded Altaïr’s mind for so long.
Desmond was important.
Desmond’s words were law.
All he needed was Desmond.
.
.
On the other corner…
The Apple just lets Desmond use it like it was Desmond’s personal Google.
It does, however, give an error every time Desmond asks why he’s been transported to this timeline and the truth about the loops.
Desmond knows that Altaïr is getting a bit… well…. obsessed with him. But it brought life back in his eyes and that was enough for Desmond. He’d deal with the rest as they come up. (famous last words)
.
The twist is the loop is an unintentional byproduct of the Reader and the Heir trying to find clues to how to save the world by checking the other unused timelines that the Calculations had also found and more timelines that the Calculations didn’t catch the first time.
They didn’t know that Altaïr’s constant use of the apple made him the closest being to them and he gets sucked into their research, but didn’t get to the Grey. Instead, he was taking over the consciousness of the Altaïrs in those timelines they’re ‘skimming’.
Time was inconsequential to the Reader and the Heir. It was not to Altaïr.
They only learned about Altaïr around the end of the 1862nd turn.
The Apple? That’s the Heir staying in the Gray and connecting with the Apple to guide Altaïr into bringing the solution into the 1863rd worldline.
Unfortunately, something happened and what he brought was an incomplete solution.
Because Desmond forgot that he was the Reader.
#you know what#nah#i would be lying if i don’t tag this as#altdes#so no usual tags for this one XD#did you know i was going to make the twist hidden in the tags?#but it grew too long so yeah#it’s there now XD
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#i don't really do the vent in tags thing but i don't really want to talk to my friends about this for now#but i HATE my body's trauma responses#and i don't know how to stop it ugh#i felt bad about something i said to someone who means a lot to me#and i texted him an apology#and my body was like (: time to uncontrollably sob!!!#and then he said i'm all good and HE apologized for his side of it and said he'll do better#and my body was like#ohohoho let's cry MORE#idk maybe i just haven't slept well lately so i'm more emotional#but i just wish i could practice healthy and humble communication without my body and brain making it a whole ordeal#anyway this whole week has had really good things but also really shitty mental health things#but i'm hoping to rest today#and i have an 8 hour shift tomorrow so hopefully that'll get me out of my head#anyway thanks for reading
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i didn't think jacob would be arguing with olivia, wanting it almost as much as her. what the hell. i expected the self defeated, taking one for the team attitude but actively needing it like her? when he had been trying to stop her all night? i feel like i've been blasted by a buckshot
#digi discusses#the world needs more jacobs and i just took him out of it#did he go back to being a kid again? to see the lights of possibility again?#to feel like he's doing something exciting and worthwhile again not by making art but by being “freed” by maggie's knowledge once more?#or did he. choose another timeline entirely? augh i'm gonna have to watch the ending back again...where did he go...#maggie would be turning in her graaaaaave to know he chose this. she would hate that for him she would h a t e it#the anna parallels. stuck between time only able to hear him on radios if you are lucky. fuck off#becoming an urban legend...i think he would have liked that. immortalized just like he wanted. ugh wait did riley do that for him#but the details getting lost his name becoming warped over time? i think riley (and i) would feel it was almost disrespectful to his memory#the fact he puts meeting riley on the same pedestal as saving camena. god god god god. even when they aren't friends they are.#riley talking to athena like a person like he did. i am MISERABLE#its the dys exocolonist thing all over again. he's happy and that's...good. but he could have been just as happy if he'd stayed too#every single time i think about the hug i'm going to cry#every single ending has done this to me there is literally no winning#being kinda mean to him was bad enough but this ending just feels! it feels like riley. like i. drove him to.#girl i need to log off bye#oxenfree II spoilers#yeah there's the essay. just took a minute#i will make another one about hurt healed olivia in a bit too because that. made me sob. that one hit really...close to home#he says when he was a teenager he would have fallen for it if someone told him he could open a portal in the sky and make things better#what a liar he would still do it now#EDIT: NO i knew it he says almost exactly what nona says after you hug her when you hug him. the orange-associated characters strike again
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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#i feel so so stupid#the person in question is a man and i'll name him dan#like a month ago i accepted dan's friend request on facebook because we're both members of an ace attorney group#he's an admin in the group and posts very often. he draws nice and his memes are funny#he sent me a text in messenger out of the blue after liking a post of me where i was sad about my situation as an uni student and blah blah#i thanked him and i thought that'd be all but he texted me again and i'm not someone who ignores people just like that so i kept replying#but because i'm an idiot i gave him my whatsapp number so now he texts me every day#dan doesn't look like a bad man but... i've started to feel uncomfortable when talking to him#he says things like 'you're pretty' 'i like drawing your hair' and i just nod and smile because UGH.#I'M TOO NICE AND I DON'T HAVE IT IN MY TO TELL HIM I DON'T LIKE IT#he's like 30 y/o and from another country and he is going bald... 💀#i checked his old pictures on his profile and i want to know what the heck happened for him to age poorly#if i'm honest... i don't really want to talk to him again but how should i tell him? i know the solution is:#'it's been nice getting to know you but you make me uncomfortable and you're old and bald. you shouldn't be texting a 22 y/o woman. bye'#but the stupid part of my brain that is doing all the thinking is afraid of confronting dan and coming off as a brat#yet i know i owe him nothing and should speak up...#*deep sigh*#personal
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sibling looked at my discord profile pic (which, for refence, is this)
and said "who is that. is that a black chick" as if I haven't already specifically told bun who it is like twice before now. I WONDER if it's the CHARACTER EXPLICITLY NAMED IN MY TAG
you know. "#2 Isaac enjoyer". I wonder if the character that is my profile picture is the character specifically named in my user.
#'yeah i care about your stories :) btw who is that again they look like a woman'#girlie pop at least do me the kindness of NOT pretending to give a shit about what i make and don't get my hopes up#i try to explain story things to fae and faer like 'i already know that you told me' bc I'm so used to people not giving enough of a crap#to listen. so i was surprised!!! in a good way!!!#turns around and does this kinda shit#the only thing fae remembers is 'the tall twink one' and 'donkey kong arms jack' and let's not even start on jack#bc the only reason fae remembers anything about him is bc he looks very similar to faer bastard man physically.#do not PRETEND to care!!! just fucking tell me you don't care it's not that hard!!!#i listen to YOU talk about the things you make all the time!!! i stop MY calls with friends to comfort you!!! you do not do the same!!!#ugh. sorry i've been really unhappy here lately and that's not even mentioning faer partner's very obvious anger issues#delete later
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#/vent#personal#internets#like you can see the attempts to not vent and focus on the positive availed me nothing#this is just really annoying how people are outright not seeing the hypocricy of the whole thing#i perpetually feel like i've finished a quest people normally take years on early and now i just... wait here. all alone.#for other people to catch up with seeing the Whole Thing.#unfortunately you only really GET this when either you face this attitude or someone you know does#there is just an illusion that if you sit quietly and nod along the witch-hunters will not touch you#but honestly the only way to really be safe is to become just like them#because again autonomy is a reason to lose interest in being your friend at least and reason to shun you at most#ugh... i really really REALLY do not know what to search for to make me focus on GOOD things#it boils down to bugging my friends to send me good drawings or funny memes to reblog#or to urgently shutting internet down because over two vents per day is kind of an overkill#i just do not understand why the hypocricy of the witch hunters is not painfully obvious#how much more obviously bad things can get than the pure desperation to remove the person for merely the failure to control them?#the silver lining i guess is that trying so hard means i really get on their nerves.#i am just frustrated#how many years should pass until people come to me and say 'hey you was right and btw they bullied me too xD'#like they kept coming to Mico after having previously tossed him away too#they always come back but it is always too late and always at the expense of them facing the witch hunt too!#what it takes a mf to learn from mistakes of others and not their own?#i will just... stay here. and wait. until people realise the corruption of the Whole Thing.#sometimes i wish i myself had more time to be naive
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The Defenders (1972) #70
#I want to ignore that Strange says he wishes he could cure Bruce of the Hulk so that I can enjoy the rest of this#ugh it’s so weird like he thinks of Bruce and the Hulk as separate people and he considers the Hulk a friend#why would he want to destroy the Hulk?#he knows that the Hulk can do good because they do good together on the Defenders#and the Defender are genuinely friends like they like spending time together and they all actually like hanging out with the Hulk#it really doesn’t make sense for any of them to be pro-curing Bruce#especially since they all including Strange have spent considerably more time with the Hulk than with Bruce#anyway I like how Bruce tells Strange that ‘you probably know green-skin better than I do!’#that’s true#and I like how immediately the Hulk is just like Magician doesn’t need to tell me why he brought me here I already know#it’s to help him as always#also I like that Strange asks the Hulk to help him rather than just teleporting him away with him and assuming he will#I think it’s considerate to the Hulk and treating him as a real person with feelings#which is notable cause the Hulk doesn’t get a lot of that in his life#marvel#bruce banner#stephen strange#my posts#comic panels
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Oh okay I've now realized that my last group of friends has completely fucked my ability to form new close relationships or find myself worthy of interacting with people I perceive to be better than me (aka all people)
#just sitting here like :|#i know that feeling of like every time you lose someone in your life a part of you goes with them but I didn't realize how bad it was until#i got into a situation where I tried to make new friends and then it's just my brain wondering when they're gonna turn on me and I'll be#hated by a new group of people and I keep trying so hard to patch things up and make new friends and it's just like every time no one wants#to talk about anything that went wrong they simply want to leave without explanation or sympathy#i feel like I've been alone so long that I forgot how to be a person around other people#I'm wearing my person suit and just keep repeating 'be yourself' but I didn't fucking know who I am when I'm not completely alone drowning#out my thoughts with as much Pinterest music and stupid tv I can handle at once#like ugh I just wish I hadn't fucked everything up so bad with my last few groups of friends#i just want to feel like myself again and everytime i just barely start to feel like myself I find new friends and as I adapt to them they#leave and I'm alone again and I have to find who I really am all over again#why do I change for other people? i don't even realize I'm doing it until it's too late#ughhhhhhh#i am just exhausted#and my head hurts and I feel gross and tired and I want to cry and today is 75 days since my dad died and I've been thinking about him a lot#and I'm just so fucking exhausted and sad and emotional and I just want someone to fucking like and for me to believe them
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My uncanny ability to accidentally specifically predict bad things now means that for the second time, a supervisor has told me to stop making predictions while at work since they keep coming true.
This has happened in two different jobs in two different fields now. Yay.
#I'm psychic#legit my old desk job my supervisor was like 'Hope you really have to stop making predictions.'#and even one of my old coworkers was like 'you know when i first started i thought you were joking... but it really is... uncanny'#because i could basically summon people at that job to either show up or call me whenever i said 'ugh i need to speak to so and so'#or worse if i said 'i don't want to speak to so and so' either way the exact person would walk in or call me minutes after i said it.#and now at this new job i jinxed something bad happening and it was pretty bad. not like ruin the show bad. but bad.#and then the next day i was joking that i had accidentally jinxed it and then i started to say something else#and i was like 'wait no let me not say that out loud' and my supervisor was like 'yes please don't say it.'#and a coworker was like 'Hope yeah shut up. don't do it.' so yeah. i gotta stop speaking things into existence.#like my first day at this job i was walking with a coworker after we ran an errand and we walked by his friend's workplace#and he was like 'i always walk by here and never see her.' and i was about to say 'maybe today is the day'#but all i could say was 'may-' and his friend came running out the door to say hi because they finally overlapped.#then i was like 'that's so weird because i was going to say that today might be the day it finally happens then it did.'#and the next day he told me that she later said to him 'it was weird. i had a feeling i needed to look outside. and there you were'#and i was like 'look this is a joke but really half a joke. i'm somewhat psychic so that doesn't shock me.'#is predicting things a symptom of my anxiety? yes. am i also legitimately somewhat psychic? possibly.#i mean i had a great-great aunt who was psychic. and my family on my mom's side (with the aunt) has weird coincidences.#my grandma who just passed had the ability to call my landline the MOMENT i walked into my apartment. without fail.#and my mom and brother many times have both texted me the same question unprompted without speaking to each other.#so while i joke that i'm psychic. it's honestly half a joke. because there are some WEIRD things on this side of the family.#and it definitely manifests in me too. so much so that i've been told to stop doing it.
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ok so my bestie is calling me mumbai aise hi cause we were planning for months like jaise hi my exams are over we'll do it and like since it's so close to christmas i was kinda hoping we would celebrate it together but uh i talked to her on the phone and she said u go on 24th cause i have plans with (boyfriend) on christmas
#idk how to feel about this#i vote: sad#also embarrassed#but idk it's normal i guess cause they're like so obsessed with each other totally still in the honeymoon phase even tho its been 5 months#and she was also telling me abt how they went to snow world with their friend and then snuck out to the igloo to make out#which is like.. really cute#but then their friend interrupted and they were annoyed cause they don't get to spend any alone time together#which!!!!! idk i don't want to go and be the third wheel#lowkey wanna say 'my parents said no' and bail on the whole trip but idk i feel like my therapy self help books would disapprove 😭#but like what do i even say? let's be together on the 25th bc i miss u and i want to celebrate festivals with u? sounds clingy#ugh#irl friendships are impossible most times im being not enough and other times im being too much like there is no winning#i literally do not know how to give her and love her less im protecting my heart so well all i do is call her once in 3-4 days to talk for#like 1 hour like idk is this not the bare minimum#or maybe im just misreading her tone? she has even said u should come live with me for ur internship no need to pay rent it'll be so cool#like the bold type#but that was before she started dating him#aaaaaaah idk idk idk#mes
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