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1d1195 · 2 months

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Hi Sam!! How are you doing my love?!? I’ve missed you😭 this week has been slightly better, still very busy and lowkey feeling a bit burnt out :( but I think I may be getting out of my depressive episode so that’s good at least HAHA

Anywaysssss I read the time extra and omg it was so heartbreaking but in such a beautiful way! I feel SO much for this Harry like SO much! Like my heart hurts for him but I really appreciate their story! I just wanted to go shout out at him how loved he is by everyone especially the MC! And ugh my heart hurt so much that he thought she would not want to marry him at all😭 and the proposal in their little kitchen was just so adorable?!?!!! It’s so very them and I loved it!! So well done Sam, you never fail to amaze me❤️ and I don’t ever feel bad for not posting anything, you are consistently doing WAY more than enough for us honestly that you deserve to go at a pace where you’ll still be able to enjoy what you do! We will all still be here now matter what!

ILY bestie hope that you are well and are having such lovely days!!!-💜

Oh I'm so glad to hear you're feeling a little better! Even if a bit burnt out. I relate to the burnt out feeling immensely. I hope you find some time to yourself and time to rest. Do you have spring break soon? Any fun plans? Whenever people ask me what I'm doing over break I always say nothing which is EXACTLY what I want to do over break. I don't want to do anything or have any obligations. Also I cannot afford trips and such so it's not really much of a choice. Anyways, I've missed you and I'm glad you're on the mend 💕 just reading what your message you sound better than the last couple times you chatted with me. I hope that's encouraging, too!

I was very grateful to get the idea from one of my sweet anons about this piece, but I was very stressed about it hahahahaha I had essentially 'written' the little series while I was commuting to work over the course of like two or three years as crazy as that sounds. Then when I started writing again I finally got it into actual typed font. But I was in a pretty bad place when I was thinking about it. So it was really nice to write something fluffy and light for this little couple but it was a little hard to get back into the mindset of Harry feeling a bit lost (which I guess is a positive sign for my mental health). I think it was really cute to see their private proposal. I imagine they did the whole dinner thing with their friends and families but I think Harry was a lot calmer knowing the answer ahead of time (even if he's ridiculous for thinking she'd say no).

Thank you so much for your endless kindness towards me and my posting schedule. I'm genuinely considering calling in sick one day this week because I'm simply struggling. I've been feeling very overwhelmed and stretched thin. I don't know if this is a normal amount of things that every other adult has to do or if I'm just being a whiny brat. I never feel like I have time to myself and I feel behind in every aspect of my life. I'm behind at work, I'm behind in my personal health, I'm behind with my chores, need to see my family, and should probs spend some more quality time with my bf. But it's a lot and idk how people do all this all the time. But calling in sick as a teacher just usually means more work for myself in the end so it's probs not worth it and I'll get caught up eventually.

ANYWAYS. Honestly, I'm doing fine. It could be worse, lol I hope you're having a good weekend and really it was the best to see your message and hear you're doing better! I was hoping you would message me soon--I think our brains lined up because I thought about it most of yesterday and then saw your message right before i went to bed 💕💕

LOVE YOU!

xoxo

#💜

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themacpsych · 4 months

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2024: Week One

Welcome to the first in a (hopefully) ongoing series of posts reviewing the week that was.

Two big themes spring to mind as I write this:

Wellbeing

One week into the new year and I’m attempting to undo some of the damage of a very lazy and overindulgent last few months of 2023. I’m really happy with the amount of exercise I was able to do this week, whether it was running, walking or using our much-neglected gym downstairs.

I made it to the gym three times, went for a cople of 4km runs, and this afternoon walked a loop of the Isle of Dogs - which is about 6km. Combined with a complete absence of alcohol, snacks or junk food, I’m hoping this is setting me up for some wins in the coming weeks.

I may be in the minority, but I’ve always found ‘Dry January’ to be incredibly easy. So why do it? A significant drop in empty / unneeded calories. Yep, beer is full of calories this little body doesn’t need. But it’s not a magic wand. So I also need to get this body moving more.

One week in, I’m already sleeping better and my skin is looking much clearer. No weight loss so speak of (a tiny drop on the scales) but I’m setting up some helpful habits that’ll

Work

The highlight of this first working week was my office move. I’m now in a nicer building, in a nicer neighbourhood, with a better commute. It’s win/win. And while the day itself was stressful - about as stressful as any other move I’ve experienced - there were no disasters.

I’ve spent most of the working week setting up shop, making plans for this calendar year, and catching up on some simple admin I’d simple set aside in the run up to Christmas. The week ahead sees my first client-facing work for the year, and I’m really looking forward to it.

In other news

I started playing Super Mario Bros. Wonder and it’s simply amazing. My first game was a co-op with a friend who has already completed it, so it was great to benefit from his experience. I anticipate many pleasant hour spent on this in the months to come.

I did some more planning for next month’s trip to Tokyo and I’m excited with the list of experiences and destinations I’ve come up with.

I finally got round to watching ‘Saltburn’ and starting the last season of ‘The Crown’. The latter is being consumed while I’m on the elliptical trainer in the gym. The former was a lot better than I’d imagined. A cross between ‘The Talented Mr Ripley’ and ‘Brideshead Revisited’.

My partner and I also watched ‘Fool me once’ on Netflix and I freely admit we hate-watched the final three episodes. Such drivel. Overly complex, plot holes you could fly a plane through, and acting so wooden you could replant a forest with it. Ugh. I only finished it because I wanted to see how they cold wrap up some a convoluted plot. The ending was worse than I could have imagined.

I’ve been really getting into Noteplan as an app for my project notes and time-based planning. Everyday tasks still live in Things, but Noteplan gives me an accessible and instantly synching place to keep the information that supports my projects - personal and professional. I think I need to wrote a post on it in the coming weeks.

So that was week one. If the other fifty-one of 2024 are equally positive, fun and productive, I’ll have one hell of a year.

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helenaheissner · 2 months

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Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 8

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

Thank you so much for your continued support of my work! Every little bit helps me to keep going :)

And now, back to our regularly scheduled nerdy romcom shenanigans!

***

“Keith”

Fight night came faster than usual that week. I spent an hour debating what to wear in front of my mirror before deciding to go masc for the evening. I’d spent most of the week wearing hardly anything besides feminine clothing- I’d even put on a pair of cutoff jean shorts when I was in the garage wrenching on Poly. It felt… Weird, wearing boys’ clothes again. Wrong, almost.

No, no, not ‘almost.’ It felt wrong. It felt like I was wearing clothes made of sandpaper, sliding over my skin and scraping it every time I moved. Everything was screaming at me, and my brain was smothered by a tight layer of plastic wrap that kept it from forming normal, rational thoughts.

I wondered, for not nearly the first time in the past seven days, if maybe… Maybe this was a sign I shouldn’t try to be a boy anymore. It felt… Easier to be a girl. Better. I was happier when I was in dresses- not even I could deny that. But still, the idea of saying that out loud, of committing to it… It was like wading out into a section of ocean oversaturated with slimy seaweed. It scared me, filled me with shame, made me feel like… A…

A pervert. That’s what I was. All I’d ever be.

I tried to swallow that as I finished making some more adjustments to Poly while in the pits, and jumped when someone said, “Hey.”

I yelped, and then registered it was Zeke and Faith.

“Maybe switch to decaf, huh Calloway?” Zeke said, that stupid, smug, handsome smile plastered to his face. Ugh. That was the worst part of all- when I was in girls’ clothes, when I was Kate, it felt normal and natural for me to get a little flustered when I saw Zeke, for me to want to stare at his face and appreciate how handsome it was, for me to feel at ease in his presence and want to stand closer to him. But when I was Keith, it just felt… Wrong. I felt wrong. He felt wrong. Not even different, but like it didn’t match me, and it just made the proverbial sandpaper of my male identity scratch and scrape me even more than it did already.

“Probably a good idea,” I said, breaking off eye contact.

“You wanna watch us?” Faith asked.

My eyes went wide and I blushed as an IMAGE went through my brain. I gulped, and the burning feeling inside my skull was extinguished ever so slightly as I realized it was time for their fight. “Yeah!” I squeaked. “Yes. Good look out there! I’ll be out in a minute cheering for y’all.”

“Thanks,” Faith said. “We’re gonna need it.”

“Good luck with your fight too, yeah?” Zeke said, offering me a thumbs up. STOP. BEING. SO. ATTRACTIVE. STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE AN EVEN BIGGER PERVERT THAN I ALREADY AM. GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

“Thanks,” I said with an even tone.

I want to say I wasn’t staring at his butt as he left. I really, really want to say that. But…

You get the idea.

Eventually, I got tired of making minor adjustments and tweaks and just went outside to watch the fight.

I’d never been able to get much of a read on Olivia Root. I’d only ever really known her as Faith’s girlfriend, frequently either in the pilot’s seat or operating a secondary weapon. On at least one occasion, they’d busted out a mini-bot that Olivia had piloted personally. She was a good driver- really good, in fact, but as last season had gone on Faith had done more and more of the piloting personally. Which wasn’t a bad thing, per se, but…

Look, Faith is a great engineer, but I’m not being arrogant when I say I could drive circles around her most of the time. Mostly because Olivia could drive circles around me. It didn’t excuse her for doing what she’d done, but still… I could see why she might have been frustrated with her partner’s actions even before the whole ‘awkward coming out’ thing.

That was a concept that terrified me: I’d always been a one man… One person band. My own engineer, my own mechanic, my own pilot. But there were other people I needed. My parents were the most supportive folks on the planet, but I didn’t know if the same could be said for my sponsor. And what if I got a girlfriend some day. Would she be okay with… Whatever it is I am?

Zeke would be. The thought went through me like a bullet, tearing through layers of cognitive dissonance. I shook my head as I walked through the archway into the contestant’s viewing area, a dugout of sorts near the commentators side as the opening hype-monologues rolled. I squirmed a little bit and adjusted my panties discreetly, making sure no trace of them went above the top line of my jeans.

I looked across the arena and saw Faith and Zeke walking into their control area, Olivia operating with a small team in her own square.

The mechanical voice wailed, “ROBOTS, ACTIVATE!”

And it began.

***

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