#type of thing..... 'something in you tried to kill me last night and thats awful but it wasnt You and i love You.' yknow.... it's so :')
Text
This is a rather high-risk romance we've embarked upon, isn't it? Brings new meaning to the term 'strange bedfellows'.
#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#the dark urge#gale x durge#durge x gale#bg3edit#gamingedit#*#vex#he doesn't exactly say it out loud because he's not 100% sure what's going on but raahghh the 'i know this isn't really you'#type of thing..... 'something in you tried to kill me last night and thats awful but it wasnt You and i love You.' yknow.... it's so :')#they all do that with durge in their own unique ways#gale's way is making little jokes while trying to be as calm and open minded about whats happening to this person he cares so much for#also. 'let's not throw the murderous baby out with the bathwater' is such a funny line to me
707 notes
·
View notes
Note
May I get a fanfic in Val’s POV where Valentino is in one of the worst moods he’s ever been in since nothing has been going his way correctly and he ends up lashing out in reader?(Im a sucker for angst) 🥲
There were a few more asks that I felt could fit into this so thats what I did! Also, friendly reminder, I write gender neutral! Hope you enjoy!
Valentino was pissed. Nothing was going right. Three actors were maimed, five more killed, and to top it off, Y/n wasn't at work or answering his texts. He had half a mind to march down there and demand why they didn't come to work. He missed them more than anything, really. Val thought that seeing them would definitely would change the whole day. That was before he remembered that he confessed while drunk. He decided to let them be, but he was irritated to say the least. He was losing money, afterall!
He gave up on trying to be the bigger person. Valentino was their boss, fisrt and foremost. He pulled out his phone and pulled up their contact. He'd call them.
The phone rang twice before a groggy "hello" answered. Val's anger raised. They ditched work to sleep in? Absolutely not. It doesn't matter how much he loves them, this was unacceptable.
"Y/n where the FUCK are you?" He was seeing red. Val was also slightly hurt. It seemed like they were avoiding him the last few days. Whenever he tried to talk to them, it seemed something else was in the way. Their breath caught in their throat. Fear. That was fear. They were scared of him. That didn't sit right in his mind and made his anger worsen, but this time, at himself.
"I'm sorry, Boss, I-" there was vicious coughing fit, "-I'm a lil' under the weather." There was more coughing. Guilt bubbled up in his chest. Of course they're sick. They've been looking awful for at least two days now. He can't believe he didn't notice sooner.
"It's alright, it's just been a stressful day today." They hummed back in tired underestanding. "Get some rest, babycakes." He hung up the phone and turned to the closest office person. Val informed them he would be out for the rest of the day and to contact his second in command to take care of whatever else was needed today. With that, he left.
~*~
Y/n's place was that little house Val murdered their stalker in. They appreciated not living in a run down apartment now, but was slightly confused as to how he got the house. He told them not to worry about it and enjoy their new space.
Upon entering the house, he took off his coat and hat, hanging them on the rack by the door. The furniture was replaced with lovely red and black walnut instead of that tacky white and bright makore it was before. He had let Y/n take over with his interior designer and decorators. They certainly had taste, just as he knew they did. The ceilings, he was pleased to notice, were now high enough that he could stand properly.
Val made it to the kitchen and opened up some cabinets, looking for some type of soup he could make for them. That's what people eat when they're sick, right? It's what Vox always made him when he wasn't feeling his best. When they weren't fighting or on a break. He found it weird that he didn't feel empty the way he used to when he broke up with Vox before. Maybe it's because he didn't have anything past platonic feelings for him now? Hm.
He found the soup and then went searching for a pot. The pot he pulled out was...very well used, to put it nicely. Val made a mental note to get them a new pots and pans set. Heating up the soup, he added a few extra seasonings to it to make it less bland. the next thing he found that needed replacing were their dish and silverware. How did they live like this? Their bowls and plates had chips in them, silverware with dents and scratches. Plastic cups from the second hand store? No wonder they got sick! He immediately went online and bought them new dishes.
He grabbed the bowl of soup in his bottom hands while grabbing a chipped mug (more replacements needed) and pouring some juice from the fridge into it. Putting the juice back, he handled both items in both sets of hands. He carefully made his way down the hall to the room.
Inside, he was greeted by Y/n's sleeping form. Their peaceful face made his heart melt. He gently placed the soup and drink down on the nightstand before gently shaking them awake. They snorted and sat up, immediately groaning, then held their head. A headache probably. Their eyes met his and widened.
"Bo-" They started coughing harshly. Val placed a hand on their back, rubbing up and down to help. His lower hands reached for the mug and brought it up to them. They looked at it when their coughing calmed down and then took it, taking a drink.
"How're you feeling, Y/n?" The question took them off guard. Had they expected him to be angry? The thought made the guilt from before rise up again.
"I'm...not the best." They looked down at the mug in their hands, gently rubbing the rim with their thumb. Val rubbed their back some more before grabbing the soup in his upper hands and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I heard soup can help with that." He smiled as he dipped the spoon into the soup. Val offered the filled spoon to them. They stared at it amoment before looking him in the eyes and taking the bite. Val's face erupted with a blush. Why did they have to do it like that? He looked away as his lower hands smoothed out the bedsheets near them. The thumping in his chest reminded him that he had drunkenly confessed just a few days ago and hasn't said anything about it to them since.
"...Val?" His breath hitched wheen he heard them say his name. He looked back at them. "Can I have more?" He just about died again. He quickly dipped the spoon back into the bowl and raised it back to their lips. Their...very soft looking lips. The way they wrapped around the spoon and took the soup with it. He was getting very hot and bothered. Oh no.
"How about I take that cup and you take the bowl, precious. I'll get you more juice." He stood, holding out the bowl with his upper arms while the lower ones reached for the mug. They let out a soft laugh and handed him the cup before grabbing the bowl. Both of their hands touched and Val swore it felt like fire raced across his skin. He squinted, awkwardness forgotten for a moment, and leaned down to place an unoccupied hand on their forehead. They had a fever!
"Uh...Boss?" Their face was red, probably from the fever. He removed his hand and hummed. Val left the room without a word and headed for the kitchen. He opened the fridge and picked up the jug of juice in his upper right hand, twisting the cap off with the upper left. As he was pouring the juice into the cup, he wondered what he wwould do about the confession thing. He capped the juice and put it away.
Back in the hallway right outside the bedroom door, he knew he had to tell them again. But sober this time. He entered the room and walked over to place down the mug. Y/n watched him, the bowl, empty, had been placed on the nightstand.
"Y/n, there's something I'd like to discuss with you." He sat down on the edge of the bed again as they went ridged. There's that fear again. He hated the way his chest hurt at the thought of them being afraid of him. "About a few days ago. When I was drunk." He wasn't looking at them, but heard their sigh as they relaxed. The ache in his chest eased a bit when he saw that from the corner of his eye.
"Yes...That." Their reply almost made the moth laugh. They felt just as awkward as he did over this. That made this easier somewhat.
"Yes, well, I meant what I said." He took a breath. "I love you, and that's the reason that Vox and I aren't together anymore. He called me out on my infatuation with you a while ago but I said it was just a passing thing and that I wanted to make things work between him an' me."
"So...You two are back together now, I'm confused by the continuity, here." Y/n's voice was hoarse. They cleared their throat as Val reached over to hand them their mug. They thanked him and took a swig.
"No. This time it's for good because I want to pursue you." He grabbed one of his antenae and scratched where the base and his head meet. A tic he'd picked up from Y/n. Though, they have hair that they run their fingers through instead. "I would like to become your lover." He finally met their eyes. They were staring blankly at him. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. They didn't feel the same.
"...You do know how...inappropriate this is right?" They ran their hand through their hair, undoing knots as they came across them. Val itched to help them with that. Even when their hair looks like a rat's nest, he imagined it'd feel soft. "If we were to be together, how would that look? I'm your employee, a porn actor. everyone'll see this as you taking advantage of me. How would that be for your reputation?"
"To hell with my reputation! I couldn't give less of a fuck. All I want is you! If it makes you feel better, I'll fire you, I'll make you co owner of the studios! Anything to have you beside me and share your existance with me."
"Boss-"
"To allow me to kiss you! To let me hold you! To let me wake up to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night!" He was waving all four hands and his lower ones reached out to hold them by the upper arms.
"Boss!" He didn't hear them, too caught up in his feelings.
"To share meals and experiences! To live with you and laugh with you!"
"Valentino!" This snapped him out of it. His upper hands were now gently holding their face. He enjoyed the warmth and how close they were. They let out a breath. "Calm down, I still have a headache." He immediately let go of them and scooted as far as he could from them.
"I-I'm sorry, precious, I don't know what came over me." He looked down at all four of his hands folded on his lap. They sighed and reached over to hold the bundle of hands.
"I do. You've got it bad." They huffed out in amusement, but their attempt at a joke made his heart sink further. "But, uh, I kinda got it bad too." These words made him whip his head back up to look at them.
"What...?" He could have slapped himself if he wasn't so focused on the next words to come out of their mouth.
"I love you, too, Valentino. I would love to be your partner." Those words made him grab them into his embrace and snuggle his head into the crook of their neck.
"That's wonderful, precious! I'll make you so happy, I promise!" He squeezed them tighter. They wheezed slightly.
"That's great and all, but," they wheezed again, "I'm still sick." Oops. He let go and stood up to take care of them thoughout the rest of their sickness.
The word after may have changed, but they wwill always be his favorite.
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hope Can’t Fix Everything
Jasper x Human!Reader
Warnings - Angsty, mention of blood
Summary - Jasper finds his mate, but it’s not all perfect.
Jasper Hale never planned for his life to go this way. He never planned to become a vampire or to live for eternity. But he always went along with it. No matter what fate tossed at him. Because he had hope. Hope guided him through all his years. It lead him to Alice who took him to the Cullens. Hope brought him a undead life he finally could be okay with it. But something was missing. His true love. He saw Emmet and Rose. Carlise and Esme. Edward and Bella. But he still was alone. He couldn't believe it. How could fate screw him over again. But even when it looked like fate forgot him. Alice reminded him to remember to have hope. To trust fate to bring him who he's looking for. And one day it finally died.
"Is this seat taken?"
Jasper's eyes moved from his paper to the person before him. They were beautiful. Absolutely stunning. They have no right to be this perfect.
"Hello?" They ask, "is it taken?"
"Uh no," Jasper says softly, "it's free." They smile lightly.
"Do you mind if I sit there?"
"No... I mean no I don't mind you can sit there," He says panicking lightly. They chuckle.
"You're cute," They say, "my names Y/n L/n. Yours?"
"Jasper Hale," He says softly.
"Jasper Hale," They say, "that is a nice name. You got lucky your parents loved you enough to give you a cool name." He chuckles lightly.
"I like your name," He says.
"Thanks," They say, "I hated it growing up. But it grew on me."
"Alright now that everyone is settled lets get started."
The feeling in Jaspers chest revealed it right away. This was his person. This was his mate. And to think they were just right there. So close. He felt excited for what was to come. But he was also terrified. He knew nothing about this person. But he knew one thing about them. His mate was human. Which made this about a hundred times harder.
When Jas got home that night Alice practically tackled him to the ground.
"Well?!" She exclaims.
"I found them," Jas says, "I found my mate."
The rest of the family looks wide eye at the boy. Happy for him. Sure but confused.
"Slight problem though," He says.
"What type of problem?" Bella asks.
"They are human."
This was something they weren't prepared for. Even after Bella and Edward. They always assumed that Jasper would end up with another vampire. Mostly because of his trouble with humans. But still it's not like he could change it now.
"So their human," Bella says, "so. I was human."
"Yeah Bella is right," Alice says, "they are your mate. You are destined to be together."
"Yeah Jasper," Emmet says, "you've been waiting for them for over a hundred years. I'm sure that a pulse isn't enough to stop you."
Jasper with his families' encouragement suddenly felt a lot better about the situation. He has his mate. The person he is destined to spend the rest of his life with. And they are right here. He'll do this right.
The next day he was waiting for them in his last class. Excitedly watching as they stride across the room to take the seat next to him.
"So why are you taking AP Environmental Science?" They ask Jasper, "what made you choose a class 9 other people choose?"
"I like science," He says, "and I wanted to study something new. What about you?"
"I'm a hippie," They say simply, "metal straws no plastic. Pure vegan." Jaspers smile drops lightly. His mate was a treehugger? He suddenly didn't know about this. "I'm totally kidding. My mom is a Environmental Lawyer and she signed me up for the class." He chuckles lightly. "This class is a joke. You're lucky you joined halfway through it. Mr. Jones has been making us teach ourself since day one. So that fun little slideshow demonstration yesterday- don't get used to it."
"He doesn't teach?" Jasper asks, "why?"
"He's going through a divorce with his wife who also happens to be the Honors Anatomy Teacher," They explain, "since they filled for the divorce he's just been sitting at his desk sulking."
"Thats a shame," Jasper says.
"Yeah for our ap scores," They chuckle, "but don't worry I'll add you to the class group chat. What is your phone number?"
"Uh here," He says scribbling it down then handing it to them. They smile wide.
"Perfect," They say, "I'll add you to it. You'll get everything you need in it. Plus we have study sessions all the time and you get all the info for it in there."
"Thanks," He says, "thats awful nice of you."
"Anything for my fellow prisoner," They say, "besides without us there is no way you'd pass." Jasper chuckles. His mate moves to open their laptop and start working on something the teacher had sent for them. "So you have a big family?" They ask, "the ones who I always see you with right?"
"Yeah we were all adopted," He explains, "thats why-"
"You guys have people dating each other," They say, "I mean it's the talk of the school. The first interesting thing to happen in Evergreen since our prom queen killed our prom king."
"That happened?" Jasper asks.
"Yeah well that's what everyone thinks happen," They tell him, "I mean they never found a body and well Cassie and her family left town three days after Camden went missing. Anyways it happened a year ago. So now everyone's focus is on you guys. The Cullens."
"We are pretty used to it," He says, "we are a weird family so when we move to a new town we tend to get plenty of attention."
"Do you move a lot?"
"Uh kinda," Jasper answers, "just depends."
"Your dads a doctor right?" They ask, "what causes a doctor to move a lot?"
"We go where they need more doctors," Jasper answers, "apparently you guys were in some pretty desperate need." They chuckle.
"Yeah you can say that," They say, "we have a really small hospital so when Cassie's mom left we were down a doctor. You'd be surprised how bad losing one doctor is in a town like this."
"I can imagine," He says, "I mean it's a pretty big deal when you have one doctor."
"Tell me about it," They say.
The bell for the class rings signaling the end of school. They smile over at Jasper brightly. Then looks down to their phone. Jasper feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulls it out and smiles lightly.
Unknown- It's Y/n! Can't wait to get to know you
"If you need anything feel free to text me," They say.
"Hey Y/n lets go!" Some girl calls from the door.
"Yeah alright," They call to their friend then looks back to Jas, "I'll see you around Jasper."
As they move off Rose moves to Jaspers side with a smirk.
"They are cute," Rose says, "you should get on with it."
"Yeah sure," Jas says, "I'm trying okay."
The next couple days it seemed to go smoothly. They'd hang out at school text all night. It felt like everything was going right. So on Friday he decided to step it up a bit.
"Okay do you have any plans for tonight?" Jasper asks them.
"Uh no," Y/n says, "why? Wanna take me out on a date?"
"If you'll have me," He says, "a movie?"
"Sounds great," They say, "got any movie in mind?"
"I was gonna let you pick," He says. They move pulling their phone up. Then nod.
"Alright there is this horror movie called Until Sunrise and apparently its terrible," Y/n tells him, "we have to see it."
"You like horror movies?"
"I love horror movies," They tell him, "even more than that I love terrible horror movies. Ya know the ones that make you question if the writers were on bath salts while making them." He chuckles lightly. "If you don't like horror movies we have other options. But if it's just cause you're scared don't worry you can hold onto me for support."
"No that sounds great," He says, "do you need me to pick you up or do you just want to meet there?"
"We can meet. I'll see you there Jasper."
So he heads home to get ready. Explaining to his family that they were going to a movie. Bella tries to give him some tips for how modern human girls like their dates. Rose immediately tells Bella that Bella has no authority to talk because she was weird.
"I know what girls like-"
"Yeah from like 12 years ago," Rose says, "seriously think about it. Times have changed. Humans have changed since then."
"Okay so just be yourself," Alice recommends.
"He can't be himself his mate will run for the hills," Emmet says, "no you've got to be cool."
"Ignore him," Esme says, "just relax. Read the room."
"And remember to breath," Bella adds, "when you stop breathing it freaks people out. And blink."
"I remember to blink," Jasper says.
"No you really don't," Rose says, "so remember to do that."
"You should get going," Alice says, "you don't want to be late."
So He got to his car. As he drove he couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly nervous. What if he messes this up? What if he drives them away? Oh god. Suddenly his didn't know if he could go through with it anymore. But when he saw them sitting outside the theater staring up into the sky waiting patiently. It all melted away. He climbs from his car heading towards them.
"Hey Y/n," He says.
"Hey Jas," They say, "you look nice."
"Thank you," He says, "you look beautiful." They smile lightly.
"Thank you," They say, "wanna head in?" Jas nods. Y/n moves lacing her fingers in his. The movie is terrible. Honestly. The two end up laughing through most of it. However Jas being able to hold their hand. Cling to them. It makes it the best date he's ever been on. It's one of the only dates he's ever been on.
One date turns to two. Turns into dating. It's going amazing. But he feels guilty.
"You still haven't told them?" Rose asks him carefully, "Jasper you have to tell them."
"I was planning to tell them," Jasper says.
"No you weren't," Edward says.
"Get out of my head Edward," Jasper says at once, "I'm tryin it's just. I don't want to ruin this ya know."
"If you don't tell them then you'll ruin it regardless," Emmet says, "I mean you can't not tell them."
"I know I know," Jasper says, "I'll tell them soon. Tonight. We have a date."
Before they can keep hassling him he leaves to go prepare for his date. His partner had talked him into going swimming in some lake. He didn't really care much for the later but when they suggest skinny dipping well he couldn't exactly say no to that.
He meets his partner at the lake. They are already in the water. Though apparently in a swim suit. They smile widely at Jasper as he makes his way towards them.
"Hey!" They call, "I was gonna wait but the water is really nice."
They move slipping out of the water to meet Jasper. Pulling him into a soft kiss.
"Come on," They say leading him into the water. He tosses aside his shirt then kicks off his jeans. Jumping in the water in his boxers. The vampire is thankful that the lake was shallow. It only went to chest meaning no awkward sinking of being the rock solid vampire. They pull Jasper into another kiss. "I've missed you," They say as the break the kiss, "I'm not one for teen romance bullshit but... You are different."
"Well we were meant to be," Jasper says, "fate. Right Darlin?"
"Right," They say, "you are so right." They move kissing Jasper's jaw. "You are always talking about Fate. It's like you've been looking for me." They pull away from Jasper to sink into the water. Swimming away from him. Jasper smiles. If only they knew. The two move around the water playfully. He scoops his mate in his arms and playfully dunks them under the water. They come up laughing.
"Oh I'll get you for that Hale!" They scream. They splash the vampire with full force. He seems unfazed so they try again this time jumping on Jaspers back. He moves a little to roughly and knocks them back into the water. They simply laugh for a second before they make a pained face. Then suddenly the smell of blood fills Jaspers senses. "Oh shit. I think I stepped on glass." Jaspers eyes shift to black. Pain and hunger filling him. His partner climbs from the water gentle moving to their pile of clothes hoping to address the wound. Jasper stares at his mate. Trying to keep himself in the water. Trying to relax. But the smell. The bloodlust rising in his stomach.
He moves towards his partner. Jumping to pin them down. They were shocked. Confused as to why this was happening.
"Jasper what are you doing?" They ask slightly startled. They start to move. But Jaspers firm grasp keeps them pinned down. His mouth opens. His fangs showing clear as day. Y/n tenses looking at her partner in pure terror. He looks like an animal. A monster. "Jas! Jas! What are you doing?!" They are thrashing under him. Trying to push him away. "Jasper get off of me!"
Jasper leans to his mates neck. His teeth scraping lightly.
"Jasper stop! Get off me you're scaring me!"
The boy moves starting to bite but before he can sink his teeth into her he's yanked off. He see's Edward and Emmet holding him back as he growls lightly.
"Jasper! Jasper stop!" Edward yells.
But he doesn't calm down until he sees his mate in Bella's arms sobbing violently. He feels his mates terror. It's suffocating. All his hunger melts into guilt and regret. What did he just do?
"Babe," He says softly. He moves yanking away from the two men.
"Get away from me!" They shout, "I don't want you anywhere near me you freak!"
"Darlin just let me explain-"
"No Jasper we are done!" They shout, "I don't want you anywhere near me."
"Darlin I-"
"You freak!"
Disgust. Thats all that's radiating from them. He watches as Y/n leaves. Bella walking with her. He ruined it. He lost his chance at his mate. He ruined his own life. All his hope for nothing. He could hope that in time they will let him back in but his hope can't fix anything. This time- hope isn't gonna be enough.
#jasper hale x reader#Jasper hale#jasper whitlock x reader#jasper whitlock#Twilight#twilight x reader#jasper x human!reader
353 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sweet Pea//maybe that’s the most heartbreaking thing of all
Request: i requested this before but idk if it went through may I please request an imagine where the reader is Jug's little sister by a year and sweet pea goes out with her because of a dare but actually falls for her but she finds out and breaks up with him but he goes to her begging for forgiveness but she refused and ends up dating someone else but they break her heart and sweet pea is there and she is crying about not being good enough for anyone and he tells her how perfect she is how much he loves her and she forgives him admitting to still being in love with him and they get back together maybe it could be the first time they say they love each other
hey!! i hope you enjoy this! i struggled at the beginning to get in the flow of it but i got there! also. this goes right back to the beginning of imagine writing. its got all the abbreviations, so just in case you’ve forgot, or you’re new...here’s a quick guide:
y/f/c - your favourite colour
y/l/f/c - your least favourite colour
y/f/a - your favorite animal
Couples having their first date in Pop’s is nothing new. Its somewhat of a tradition in Riverdale, even more so after the drive-in closed down. Everybody either has or will have a date in Pop’s. With great food, cozy booths and neon lighting it makes the best backdrop to love.
And tonight was your turn to experience the magic of it.
Three days ago, Sweet Pea had approached you out of the blue while you were sat with your friends in the lunch hall.
At first you thought he was going to give you a not very nice message to pass on to your older brother. Despite Jughead being a year older than you, he often got involved in very childish rivalries. The main one being between him and the very tall serpent in front of you, and even though they’d kissed and made up by now, there was still always something bubbling under the surface.
But to your surprise and secret delight he’d asked you out on a date, and you of course said yes...probably too quickly. He then nodded towards your friends, all of which were trying and failing to hide a smile as they watched the interaction, before sending you a quick wink and leaving with a few of his friends.
Once you were sure he couldn’t see you anymore, you let the blush on your cheeks fully take over and a small squeal left your lips.
Tonight, you’d let out the same small squeak before you left your house. Saying a quick goodbye to your dad and Jughead, both of which suspicious as to why you were so happy and dressed up. You told them you were just going to see a movie with your friends and although you’re sure they hadn’t really bought it, to be honest you didn’t really care.
You were going on a date!
With Sweet Pea!!
There are so many girls that would quite literally kill to be you right now, and if it weren’t for your brother being serpent leader, they probably would have by now.
As you turn the corner into Pop’s parking lot, you can see Sweet Pea pacing just beside the steps. He’s on the phone to someone and a small smile appears on your face as you hear him laugh.
He doesn’t notice you’ve arrived until you’re tapping him on the shoulder making him jump a little. His laughter stops once he see’s you and your smile falters a little. He had been worried that you wouldn’t turn up. The only way his dare would count (and he’d get paid) was if you:
1. Actually turned up to the date
And
2. If the date lasted at least an hour.
He had one of those things, now he just had to get you to stay.
Easy.
His smile returns as he figures out the best way to get you as interested in him as he can.
“Wow.” He mutters as he looks you up and down. A blush appears on your cheeks making you look at the pavement. “You look amazing.” He adds and the blush grows. Smoothing out some invisible wrinkles in your outfit, you force yourself to look back up at him, but soon realize just how much of a mistake that was when you feel your knees go weak from the way he’s staring at you.
“Do you want to go in?” You change the subject and he nods, opening the door and letting you walk in first.
There’s an empty booth right at the back of the diner and the two of you rush towards it. He lets you sit down first before joining opposite you and you send him a shy smile.
“Sooooo.” He looks around awkwardly. “What are you getting?”
“I’m not sure.” You say while scanning the menu. “I don’t know whether to get my usual or try something new.”
“Try something new.” He replies quickly and you look at him a little surprised. “We both can. Its a special night after all.” He watches you decide what you want, a small smile on his lips as you read all the options out loud. But then he remembers what this is supposed to be.
A dare.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
Easy money and a chance to piss off Jones.
His smile completely disappears as he tries to tell himself not to get caught up in you and you frown when you notice his expression.
“Are you okay?” You reach out to him and gently squeeze his hand. “We can go if you want?”
“No!” He says rather too loudly and you stare at him confused. “I mean. I’m fine. Have you decided what you wanted?”
“Yeah! I think I’m going to try this.” You lean over the table slightly, pointing at the food on his menu, but he’s not listening. Because the close proximity is doing something to him and if he breathes he can smell your perfume and its surrounding him, making him feel overwhelmed. “What about you?” You look up at him, your faces mere inches apart and you have to take a second to get your head to stop spinning before you sit back down properly.
“I-I think I’m going to decide on the way there.” He stutters a little while standing, grabbing both menus.
“I think they come and take your order if you’re sitting in.”
“Its fine. It might be done quicker if I go up and order.” He shakes his head.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Your tone is playful as he walks away, but it makes him anxious anyway. He needs to keep you here for another 55 minutes, and the fact that Fangs and a few other serpents are hiding in the other corner of Pops, spying very badly on the two of you, isn’t making him feel any better.
Once he orders he slowly makes his way back over to you. As he approaches he notices you texting, a soft smile on your face as you type and he has to push away the feelings of him being an awful person before he can sit opposite you again.
“Do you know how long its going to take?’ You ask, locking your phone once you notice him.
“About twenty minutes I think.” He replies.
“So, about the same time if you’d stayed?” You say teasingly and he rolls his eyes in reply.
“Whatever.” He huffs. He looks cute when he huffs. He always looks cute, but when he pouts like, you just want to kiss him. Woah...calm down. This is just the first date. Keep it in your pants Y/l/n.
“So. What do you want to talk about?” You change the subject before your thoughts become slightly less PG.
“I don’t know. What do people usually talk about on first dates?” He asks and slumps a little while you think.
“Oh!” Your eyes light up. “What’s your favourite colour?”
“Really?” He sends you a look, making a soft blush appear on your cheeks. “Thats what you came up with?”
“Hey. I have so many better questions but I thought I’d start off easy. So, are you going to answer or are you one of those people that ‘like all colours the same’?” You mock him and he rolls his eyes playfully.
“Fine.” He shrugs. “I’ll answer your question, but you’re not allowed to laugh. My favourite colour is yellow.” He mumbles the last part and your eyes widen in surprise. “I told you no laughing.”
“I’m not laughing.” You hold your hands up. “I’m just a little shocked. You do know yellow is a happy colour right? I don’t I’ve ever seen you wear anything brighter than dark blue.”
“Thats because you don’t have to wear your favourite colour.”
“I’m wearing my favourite colour.” You reply and motion to your outfit.
“So you like y/f/c?” He asks and you nod. “It suits you.” He adds making your cheeks heat up. Thankfully the corner you’re sat in is quite dark, so you’re hoping it covers up just how much you’re blushing. Frankly its embarrassing just how much he makes you blush. But then again, this is Sweet Pea. Thy boy you’ve been crushing on for years.
“Thanks.”
“So if we’re doing favourites. What’s your favourite animal?”
“Really?” You raise an eyebrow and he looks at you offended. “And you complained when I asked about colours?”
“Animals are living things. A colour is just something you paint your walls.” He replies and you just stare at him for a few seconds, a completely bewildered look taking over your features.
“You have some very strong opinions.” You take a mental note not to ask about his favourite food because god knows what reaction you’ll get. “But my favourite animal is y/f/a.”
“Yeah. Thats a good choice.” He nods. “Mine is a dinosaur.”
“What?”
“My favourite animal is a dinosaur.”
“How old are you exactly? Because I could have sworn you were the same age as my brother.”
“Ha. Ha.” He replies sarcastically. “Dinosaurs are cool. They’re diverse. They’re old as hell-”
“They got taken out by an asteroid.”
“They look badass.” He glares at you. “There were some the same size as chickens. Can you imagine how cool it would be to have a dinosaur as a pet?”
“Again, taken out by an asteroid.”
“They also had two holes behind their eye sockets. And jaw muscles went through the holes to attach directly to the top of the skull. Which made the jaws able to open wide and clamp down with more force.”
“Well, isn’t that lovely?” You grimace, although there’s a smile threatening to appear and you have to force it away. “Its like you’re a walking national geographic channel.”
“Actually I learnt that from The Natural Museum website.”
“Sorry.” You tease. “Wherever you learnt it though, I’m very impressed.”
“I’m a lot smarter than what your brother might have told you. Speaking of, whats it like being related to Jones?”
“Not as bad as everybody makes out.” You shrug and he sends you a look. “Its not. Sometimes he can be a bit annoying, but all older brothers are.”
“Sure.” He replies. “Blink twice if you need help.” He says making you laugh.
“Here’s your food guys. I hope you enjoy.” Veronica smiles as she places the plates down. She sends you a wink before leaving you both alone.
“You’ve really never had a burger and fries before?” You raise an eyebrow at him while you sip your drink.
“What?”
“You said you were going to try something new.” You giggle and point to the food in front of him.
“Oh.” He looks down. “I er. I must have forgot.”
“Are you sure you’re alright? Because if you’re not we can leave.” He looks away from you, trying to find Fangs in the now very busy place. He finds him, eventually and he’s already looking at him, holding his phone up and shaking his head. He then checks the time on his phone and notices you’ve only been in here for less than half an hour making him sigh. “Sweet Pea?”
“Huh? What?” He looks back at you quickly, shoving his phone in his pocket.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m er. I’m just tired. I’ve had a busy day.”
“Hey. I have a new favourite question.”
“Go on. Impress me.” He challenges.
“Whats your favourite memory?”
“A picnic when I was 8.” He answers almost instantly. “My mom was at work so my grandma was looking after me. It was only in the back garden but I had so much fun. She never had anyone really look after it so it was full of really tall weeds that I used to play in and pretend to cut down with a plastic sword. She let me pick a spot and we managed to flatten enough of it to lay a blanket out and she’d gotten all my favourite food. It was really nice. And when my mom came to pick me up we were still out there so she joined us and the three of us shared the last cookie while I told them both terrible kid jokes.”
“Thats really sweet.”
He shakes your comment off, smiling bashfully as he watches you eat. He’s never told anybody that. If he’s being honest he really didn’t want to tell you that, but there was something about the way you looked at him and the happy tone in your voice that made him crumble. The way you asked him, and then listened, a smile growing on your face the more he told you. It was the first time anybody has really, actually, genuinely wanted to hear about his life.
And that terrifies him. This isn’t supposed to be real. He isn’t supposed to feel real feelings. Its not real. He reminds himself.
“What about yours?” He asks, desperately wanting to get the attention away from him because he’s scared if you continue looking at him like this he’s going to tell you his entire life story and he’s never been that vulnerable with anybody before.
“Hmm.” You think about if for a few seconds. Your eyes sparkling as you go through every memory you have. “When I had my first kiss.” You chuckle at the memory and he looks at you confused.
“What?”
“Hear me out.” You laugh. “It was with Archie.”
“What!?”
“Yeah. And it was a dare.”
“What?” His blood runs cold. Is he really that obvious? Have you figured it out? Of course you have, you’re clever and funny and smart and pretty an-
“It wasn’t like that though.” You shake your head.
“Like what?”
“Like, I dare you to kiss her and I’ll give you $1 for it.” You explain.
Change kiss to date and $1 to $50 and its almost the same.
“I was 13 and he had just turned 14. He still hadn’t kissed anybody and he was worried. At the time I didn’t really know why, but when you look at all the girls he’s dated since, I can understand why he was worried. So I dared him to kiss me and he did.”
“What was it like?”
“Awful.” You laugh loudly and he feels himself relax again. “But at the same time it was nice. It was sweet. Plus, I always have that I was the first person to kiss Archie Andrews. When I’m feeling down about myself I like to tell myself that the reason he’s dated so many people is because he’s trying to find someone that can kiss as well as me.”
“You should never feel down about yourself.” He says sincerely, and there’s not enough darkness in the world that could hide your blush.
“What made it even better was that Jughead walked in on it and him and Archie almost got in a fight.”
“I would have payed to see that.” He laughs. “I still would to be honest.”
The two of you continue to eat, exchanging small conversation every so often. After you’ve both finished eating, he checks the time while you laugh at something he’s said, and notices that its almost been an hour and he’s happy that its nearly over.
But the other part of him is sad that it might be ending. So he ignores time and the real world, in favour of pretending with you. He doesn’t even come back to reality when Fangs and the rest of the serpents leave, subtly dropping money on his seat.
The next time either of you check the time is when Veronica comes over after a few hours and asks if you want anything else. Thats when you realize its almost 11, and that your dad is going to kill you.
“Oh shit.” You panic. “I’m supposed to be back at 11.”
“Fuck.” He stands up, quickly noticing the money and slipping it in his back pocket while you’re busy putting your jacket on. “Okay, I’ll pay and then I’ll give you a lift home.”
“Sweet Pea. I can pay for my own food.” You argue.
“I know you can. But I want to. And we have ten minutes to get you back home so you can’t afford to argue with me.” He replies and you roll your eyes but agree anyway.
“Fine.” You huff. “But I’m paying for the next one.” You add and he freezes. “Thats if you want another one I mean. No pressure.” You back track, while he just stares at you.
“I-er-”
“Here’s your bill.” Veronica hands you a receipt and Sweet Pea lets out a breath.
He pays quickly before leading you out into the dark parking lot.
“Here.” He hands you the helmet and you take it, carefully placing it on your head. The ride back home seems far too short for you’re liking and the next thing you know he’s walking you up the steps to the front door.
“You didn’t have to give me a lift you know?” You say. The two of you are stood on your porch. You’re sure if either your dad or Jughead look out the window they will definitely be able to see who you’re with and where you’ve been, but right now, you don’t care. You can deal with that later.
You’re just enjoying spending time with Sweet Pea. You’re also glad you didn’t die on the journey back. Riverdale may have strict driving laws, but Sweet Pea does not stick to them. However, if you did die, you would have died happy with your arms wrapped around his chest and a bright smile on your face.
“I know.” He shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “But, I’m going that way anyway soooo.”
“You’re such a gentlemen.” You tease and the two of you giggle lightly.
“What’s it like living in Coopers old house? Do the ghosts of her messed up family haunt the halls?” He asks and you roll your eyes, nudging him a little.
“No.” You deadpan. “Its weird. Especially if you’ve lived in a trailer for the majority of your life. And even weirder now that Betty and her mom live with us. But I wouldn’t say its bad. Its kind of nice to have some sort of normal...ish family for a change.”
“Your definition of normal and everybody else’s definition of normal are too very different things.”
“Shut up.” You punch his arm lightly and he feigns hurt.
“This was nice.” He says, now feeling more awkward than he ever has in his entire life.
“It was, yeah.” You nod.
All he has to do is say goodnight and leave. He’s completed a dare, he’s made some easy money and he’s had some great food. Plus it was nice to go to Pops with somebody other that Fangs.
“Night.” He gives you one last look before turning around and starting to walk down the steps.
“Sweet Pea?” You follow after him. “Tell me another dinosaur fact...please.”
“The word dinosaur comes from the Greek language and means ‘terrible lizard’.” You laugh and a soft smile comes to his face.
Your eyes flutter closed as you slowly move towards him. Kissing him nervously, he freezes for the second time in one night. However he doesn’t stay like that for long, his arms wrap around your waist as he kisses you back.
Never has Sweet Pea been kissed like that before. So gently and like kissing him any harder would break him.
But now he has a problem.
Because he liked it.
And he definitely wants to do it again.
“Goodnight Sweet Pea.” You kiss his cheek before jogging up the steps and through the front door.
What the hell is he supposed to do now?
----
Sweet Pea has been trying so hard to avoid you. No matter how hard his heart protests.
It was one date, for a dare. Thats what he keeps telling himself.
But deep down he knows that it wasn’t just that. He had a genuinely nice time with you.
You’re sweet, pretty and kind. And despite the fact that you’re related to Jones, he knows there’s so much more to learn about you.
“Hey!” Your smile is bright, and he can’t help the smile that appears on his face as he watches you sit beside him. Despite the fact that his heart is racing, either due to the fright you gave him, or the mere presence of you, he manages to reply.
“Hi.” He mumbles, finding anything but you to look at. Only now has he realised how bland the walls are in the school cafeteria. Who paints a school cream? Cream is the worst colour in history. “What’s your least favourite colour?”
“What?” You laugh.
“Well we talked about your favourite colour the other day. What’s your least favourite colour?”
“Err.” You think for a moment before scrunching your nose up. “Y/l/f/c. Yours?”
“Cream.”
“Wow. You were very quick to reply. What’s cream ever done to you?”
“Made everything boring.” He replies making you laugh and shake your head.
“I was wondering.” You take a glance at your friends who are all giggling and whispering to each other while they watch you, which surprisingly doesn’t do much for your confidence. But you fight through it and decide to just get straight to the point. “Do you want to go out again?”
His eyes widen a little as he searches the room for Fangs or literally anybody. He’d even settle for Jughead coming over. Just anybody to get him out of this because he know’s he’s going to say something stupid like...
“Yes.” dammit. His mouth moved before his brain even had time to comprehend what he was saying and now he hates himself, and more importantly Fangs for being late. What the hell where all the serpents even doing?
“Great!” Your face lights up and his entire body sinks. “I’ll see you tonight at Pops again? At 7 maybe?”
“Ye-yeah.” He nods. “That sounds great.”
“Great!” You repeat and you seem even happier than before. “By the way, you do know there’s a serpent meeting going on right?”
“Shit.” thank god. he can get out of here now.
He somehow seems to be digging an even bigger hole for himself and now he has no idea how he’s going to get out of it. Definitely not with the help from any of his friends.
----
The second date you and Sweet Pea had, was definitely different from the first.
You’d met at Pop’s. But as soon as he saw Fangs sat by the window he decided that maybe going in there wasn’t the best option.
Thankfully you didn’t notice the sudden change of heart, so didn’t think it was too strange when he suddenly shouted about going to see a movie.
And to his surprise. He actually enjoyed himself. Well, he knew he was going to enjoy himself anyway. But it was better than he could of imagined, despite the slight crushing feeling in his chest.
Plus he got to kiss you again!
After the movie you walked around town for a little bit and talked about life and dreams and more favourite things...no matter how much he complained about that part.
So maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. I mean, yeah, it started out bad. But plenty of good things come from bad experiences. He can’t think of any every time he tries, but he’s sure there is some and thats good enough for him.
Plus, its not like he’s going to tell you about the dare. He likes you and he doesn’t want to hurt you. And he can’t imagine the rest of the serpents mentioning anything. Weirder and crazier dares are done by them everyday, this is ancient history by now.
So a week after your first date, he decides that he’s going to make his first proper move. He’s ready. He’s only really known you a week but he knows your special. And you’re definitely worth putting up with Jughead for. He just needs a milkshake first to collect his thoughts.
Once he walks through the doors of Pop’s he’s hit with two things.
One. How empty it is. Its Friday night, he should have to fight to get through the amount of people in the place. But there’s barely anybody here and he has to try and remember if he heard of any parties happening tonight. There’s none that he can think of, but it might be a last minute thing. Yeah, its probably a last minute thing.
The second thing he notices is you, sitting in the corner again and his breath hitches as the sight of you. But then he see’s you crying and his heart aches.
“Whats wrong?” He asks, sitting beside you as quickly as he can. As soon as he sits down his arms are around you, pulling you close.
A part of him is scared that you’ve found out and that all of this is going to be over before its even began. But when you cuddle further into him he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, relief flooding every part of him.
“Its nothing.” You shake your head. “Its not important.”
“Clearly it is.” He says and slowly pulls you away from him so he can look at you properly. How do you manage to still look cute despite crying? “Come on. You can tell me.”
“I just feel a little left out.” You sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“Just, when we were younger me and Jughead were really close. But now it feels like he’d rather hang out with anybody but me. And that really sucks you know? I know we can’t do everything together, he has a life, I have a life. But I just feel like I never see him again. Plus, all my friends have gone to a stupid party and they didn’t invite me.”
“I understand.” He says, your eyes meeting his making you feel a little breathless. “And it does suck. But just because you don’t spend all of your time together, doesn’t mean he loves you any less. I mean, he almost fought Archie for you.”
“That was years ago.” Your roll your eyes.
“And I’m sure he’d still do it now.” He replies. “He’d probably lose, but still. Its the thought that counts.”
“Hey.” You shove his arm. “Thats my brother.”
“I know. And everyday I feel sorry for you.” He says sincerely.
“And as for your friends? Idiots. Because that party is going to suck without you.” He reassures you.
“Thanks for making me feel better.” You kiss his cheek softly before leaning your head on his shoulder.
“Well, thats what boyfriends are for.” He replies, eyes widening once he realizes what he’s said. This was not how he was going to ask you.
“Boyfriend?”
“I er-”
“I’d like that.” You smile. “I’d like it a lot.”
“Yeah?” He looks down at you.
“Yeah.” You agree before kissing him sweetly. “At least now there’s one person who’ll never forget about me.”
There’s something about that sentence that doesn’t make him feel right for a few seconds, and he can’t help wonder if he did the right thing.
----
“Just a few more steps.” You say while looking over his shoulder. You didn’t think guiding a giant into your back garden would be this difficult, however you’re now regretting not giving something to use as a blindfold. He’s practically dragging you along behind him and you’ve never met a clumsier boy. “Mind that stone.” You say but he’s already stumbled over it and you roll your eyes at him, despite the fact he can’t see you. “Okay. Stop.” You say and he stops walking abruptly. You groan as you bump into his back making him chuckle. “Ass.” You mumble and shove him a little.
You move your hands away from his eyes and he gasps as he looks around.
“Whats this?” The two of you look at the blanket and basket sat between the surprisingly long weeds that surround you and slight blush dusts your cheeks as you kick your foot about.
“A picnic.” You reply, moving to stand in front of him. “Do you like it?” You look at him hopefully and he nods quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a kiss.
“Hey!” You hear Jughead bang on his bedroom window and the two of you pull away, flipping him off as you do.
“I remembered the story about your grandma and thought I’d do something like it.” You explain while sitting down. “I even made sure my nobody moved the lawn for a few weeks to get the desired weeds.” You explain making him smile. “And I got your favourite.” You pull food from the basket and hand it to him making his smile grow.
“You’re just the best.” He replies, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“I know.” You mumble. “And, I have even upgraded the whole favourite series of questions, because I know how much you hate them.”
“I love you.” You know he’s only joking. He knows he’s only joking. But the sentence takes the two of you by surprise and you quickly scramble to think of something else to talk about.
“Whats the best thing you’ve ever done?” You ask and take a bite of a strawberry.
“This.” He laughs as he watches some of the juice dribble down your chin. “Here.” He wipes it away and you smile at him thankfully, despite the reddening of your cheeks.
“What about you?” He asks, stealing a bit of chocolate from you and you glare at him playfully.
“This.” You nod.
“Whats the worse thing you’ve ever done?”
this. “Probably the time I convinced one of my friends that he didn’t exist.”
“What? How did you even do that?” He looks down embarrassed and you can’t help but admire the cute little bashful smile on his face as stares at the blanket beneath the two of you.
“I got all of our friends in on it so it wasn’t just my fault. But I made him believe that I was the only one that could see him. When we’d hang out just us I’d be normal, but if all our other friends were with us, we’d all pretend he was invisible. One day I convinced our entire class to do it and he ended up crying so hard his mom had to come and pick him up.”
“Holy shit.” You whisper. “Thats awful.”
“Yeahhhh. I know.” He shakes his head.
“But I suppose I still love you.” You add and he looks at you quickly.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” You nod. Both of you know the ‘i love you’s’ were silly. Far too soon to be saying, but even if they weren’t real, they made you feel something you’ve never felt before. And you’re excited for when they do have meaning behind them.
“What about you?”
“Who said that?” You tease and he shoves you playfully causing you too fall backwards. Your about to sit up again, when he appears beside you and so you decide to stay. Who needs to see the world when you can just look at him.
He moves to lie on his side, his head resting on his hand while he looks down at you. His free hand caresses your cheek and a soft breeze flows makes a piece of his hair fall in front of face. You move it gently and the next thing you know he’s leaning down to kiss you. Its so full of love and happiness that it makes you a little dizzy, so when he pulls away you’re glad you’re already lying down. Especially because your legs would not have been able to keep you stood up.
“I once called my mom a bitch when I was 10.”
“Ouch. What did she do to deserve that?”
“Not cut the crusts off my sand-which.” You mumble making him snort. “That was so cute.” You tease and pinch his cheeks.
“Nope.” He moves out the way. “You can’t change the subject after you told me you called Gladys Jones a bitch. How are you still alive?”
“Believe me, I was very close to death.”
“What saved you?”
“The fact that I needed to go to school. I didn’t come home until about 8 that night. She was so worried that something had happened to me that she kind of forgot about the whole name calling thing.”
“I don’t believe you could ever be that mean.” He kisses your nose.
“I can prove it if you want.”
“Yes please. I’ve very excited to see this.”
You think for a moment. What’s the meanest thing you could say to him?
“Ass.” really? growing up with gladys and fp as your parents and thats all you’ve got?
“I have a good one? Thank you.”
“You really are unbelievable.”
The first time you say this to him its said playfully, to annoy him with a soft smile on your face. The next time you say it, there’s nothing sweet or happy about it. Its said angrily, with tears running down your face instead of the smile that he’s grown to love.
However, at this minute, you have no idea what coming. You don’t know that all of this is going to end in tears and heartbreak. And maybe that’s the most heartbreaking thing of all.
----
“Please. Just let me explain.” Sweet Pea pleads.
His trailer has never felt so small, despite the distance you’ve put between the two of you. You’re looking at him like he’s a stranger and he’s never felt so horrible in his life.
You’d only gone on his phone to find a specific picture of the two of you. But when he’d gotten a text from Fangs asking if he’d let you down gently yet, you’d actually found a whole group chat title ‘dares’, the biggest one being your entire relationship with him.
“I was just a dare. A stupid, idiotic dare?”
“Yes.” He nods. “It was stupid and idiotic and I’m really sorry.” He walks towards you but you back away, closer to the door and he really doesn’t want you to leave. He’s gotten so used to you being around the past six months he doesn’t know how to cope when you’re not with him.
“Our entire relationship was a dare?”
“No, no. Just the first date. The rest of it was real.”
“Oh, so that makes it alright then if it was just the first date? What the hell Sweet Pea. Why would you do that?”
“I really don’t know.” He shakes his head.
“I think that makes it even worse. Even if your excuse was just about getting back at Jughead, I think that would make me feel a little better because hey, its not just me. You didn’t just see me and think ‘she’d make a good target for a dare. she’s liked me for ages so she’ll obviously say yes’. But you just did it because? Because of what? You were bored?”
“I’m so, so sorry.”
“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” You cross your arms. “Did you also make a bet? Are people betting on how long we’ll be together?”
“No, of course not.” He argues.
“So you’ve made no money from this?” You ask and he goes silent, looking at the floor.
“You’re really are unbelievable Sweet Pea.” You sigh, grabbing your jacket from the sofa and storming out.
How the hell did he not see that coming?
----
*three months later*
“Jones? I know you said never to come round here again but there’s a problem with a few of the serpen-oh hey Y/n.” Sweet Pea has only been in the Cooper/Jones’ house a handful of time, practically all of them because of something bad, but this is by far the worst.
He’s never seen you like this, and he never wants to again.
And the worst thing about it is that he’s the reason. He’s why you’re sat in the dark with a blanket wrapped around you and tears streaming down your face.
“Whats wrong?” He takes a few careful steps towards you, completely forgetting the reason he came round in the first place. His only focus is you. He needs to make this right. This may be the only chance he has seeing as though Jughead is doing everything to keep the two of you apart.
He did manage to get you alone one time, but it was only for a few minutes and they were the second worst few minutes of his life, the first being when you broke up with him. He’d tried to say sorry, to explain it. But you’d just told him to leave you alone and that you were seeing somebody knew.
He wonders if they’re the reason you’re so sad. He isn’t sure if that would make him feel better or worse to be honest.
“Y/n?” You continue to ignore him so he decides to just sit beside you. He makes sure he isn’t too close to you, no matter how much he wants to wrap his arms around you and tell you everything is okay.
“Go away Sweet Pea.” You mumble and his heart cracks.
“No.” He argues and sits back a little. He hears you huff in reply and wrap yourself further in your blanket.
The two of you sit in silence for a while. Before you could sit together for hours without speaking, and be in total bliss just enjoying each other’s company. But as each minute drags on you find it harder and harder to breathe.
“I thought I finally had everything figured out.” You eventually whisper and he sits forward, placing a careful hand on your shoulder. He’s expecting you to shrug him off, but you don’t and he’s almost certain you relax a little.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean. I thought I finally had everything figured out.” You glare at him and he gulps a little.
He doesn’t really know what to say to that, so he just sits and lets you talk.
“And now everything has gone to shit.”
“It hasn-”
“I loved you Sweet Pea! I actually loved you.” You stand up and the sudden movement startles him. “The first boy I’ve ever loved, I was just some stupid dare to. And then when I try to move on. When I think that maybe I should try and forget about you and the way you made me feel...both good and bad. The next boy I end up with dates me for a few weeks and then breaks up with because I wasn’t what he was looking for. What the hell does that even mean?”
“Y/-”
“Is it me? It must be me. There must be something wrong with me. Or maybe I’m just not good enough for anyone. Maybe thats it. Maybe I’m going to go through life dating a string of disastrous boys who just use me to find something else. I don’t want that. I want love. I want all the stupid stuff you see on TV. Is that so hard?”
“Y/n?”
“Why?” You drop back onto the sofa, utterly defeated and all he wants to do is go back in time. If only he’d never agreed to that stupid dare. You would still be happy and sweet and not totally broken. “Why would you do this to anybody? Why would you take their heart and smash it like its nothing?”
“Because I’m an idiot.” He replies and for the first time in three months you actually agree with what he’s saying. “And so is that other boy.” He adds. “You are far too good for this world Jones, and you deserve somebody that loves you and treats you the way you deserve. And I haven’t done that, even though I should have. I never should have agreed to that stupid dare, but I thought nobody would get that hurt from it, but I’m definitely an idiot. I’m really sorry Y/n.” He rambles while you sob beside him. He pulls you into a tight hug, stroking your hair softly as he tries to find the right words to say. But there’s only one thing he can say. “I love you Y/n.”
“What?” You pull away and look up at him.
“I love you.” He repeats. More sure of this than he ever has been of anything. “You’re perfect. And I love you.”
You so desperately want to tell him to leave. To go away and to never talk to you again. To never think of you for as long as he lives because he hurt you, more than you’ve ever been hurt before.
But you love him.
Despite everything. Despite the fact that he is an ass.
So instead you say something probably very stupid, but it feels right.
“I love you too.”
And this time it has meaning behind it.
Something you’ve been waiting a while for.
#sweet pea#sweet pea imagine#sweet pea x reader#sweet pea x you#sweet pea x y/n#riverdale#riverdale imagine
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.
if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)
(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)
bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^
My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats.
i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy.
he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point.
but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk.
i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run.
Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom.
He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression.
My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast.
Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat and i want us to live TOGETHER!"
He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance.
The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says.
I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence:
"you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad"
it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs.
at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that.
he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) ....
"i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him to a bloody pulp"
then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly.
it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this:
one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up. now i'm thinking: What is so important, that he has to call me during work. there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that.
after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No"
he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out.
he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.
....
..
yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years.
i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!"
it was awful, and an eye-opener.
the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options.
1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice)
2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay
3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again"
i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing.
now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay and i should feel bad for that.
except i dont. should i though?
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
lay me gently | ksj
there is no time for loneliness among the fires of your forge, no room in your buzzing mind for thoughts of anything but your next invention and the pain in your leg. your life is tilted off its axis, though, when your parents arrange a marriage without your knowledge or consent, and your new husband begins to situate himself into your life despite protests from either of you. you don’t know what zeus and hera have planned, but a volcano is no place for a love god like seokjin. | monsters and gods pt 2 (masterlist)
pairing | seokjin x reader
genre/warnings | greek god au, aphrodite!jin, hephaestus!reader, disabled!reader (kind of. more technically accurate would be chronic pain!reader. but thats a whole discussion that ur welcome to have with me), fluff, slight angst but not a ton, v brief allusions to violence but its purposefully vague, not so brief descriptions of physical injury, descriptions of chronic pain, cyclopes! everywhere! i use that word so many times!, smut, literally the most vanilla smut i’ve ever written there are only two warnings, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, there are mentions of a war god that is a dick but it is Not Ares i promise, everyone still hates zeus bc he sucks, this also features dionysus!jimin but only a little,
word count | 12.9k | cross posted to ao3
a/n | this is the second installment of gods and monsters!! i was actually in the middle of writing from eden when i stumbled across a really fantastic blurb about retelling aphrodite’s story the way we’ve all collectively decided to retell persephone and hades, so that there are two decent fucking couples in greek mythology, and there were a lot of good comments on said blurb that made those last two braincells in my head run into each other and make an idea. and then i promptly opened a new doc and typed half of this and a vague summary before sleeping for longer than i should have! and i’m always weak for aphrodite jin bc i mean....look at him....man looks like he was sculpted by Michelangelo like who am i to deny the gods, y’know? and i figured that since i had olympian!reader in the last one, i’d continue that and have olympian!reader in this one, also i wanted an excuse to write from a hephaestus pov since i’ve loved that dumbass blacksmith since i was ten and wrote a greek history article in school. so here, have this aphrodite retelling!! | title from work song by hozier
It's hot. It's always hot here, the consequences of living inside a volcano, you suppose, but the callouses on your skin have long since made you immune to the burns. You glide down through the halls, an old habit since the day you crafted the wheels you attached to your sandals. No longer did you need to carry the awkward and hefty cane everywhere you went, or struggle to make your leg move the way you wanted it to. The invention of the wheel was one you were forever proud of.
The forge is already blazing when you arrive, each of the hundred levels full of cyclopes all hammering away. Steam hisses and rises through the air, and you chance a glance at the lava bubbling miles below you.
"Careful today," You call to the cyclops closest to you. "It looks like she's feeling the burn again. Raise the guards soon, and keep them up until she blows. No sense letting good work go to waste." The cyclops nods and barks an order out at others across the levels. You wheel yourself further along, the sound of the celestial bronze shields being brought up serving as background noise. You probably could have waited another day or so to raise them, if you were honest; cyclopes are fireproof, which is useful in a forge, and you yourself aren't likely to be taken out by a mere volcanic eruption. The work, though...heat like that could affect even the strongest of your creations, and everyone works much too hard here to have to reform every bolt, repour every blade.
You valued your time too much for that.
"You have a guest, my lady," one of your workers called. You look up from the notebook in your hands - soot-covered, bound in leather, edges singed, with bits of paper sticking every which way from the many times you've jotted something down for later and stuffed it inside quickly before tying the leather cords that bind it - and frown. The cyclops grimaces slightly. "It...seems to be Lord Zeus."
You scoff and spin yourself around to follow him to the elevator reluctantly. "Probably wants to commission another throne, the bastard. Should've stuck him to the last one, maybe he'd get it through his head that not everyone wants to fuck him." You wave a hand and your guide gives you a curt nod before returning to work. You settle yourself in the lift and flip the lever. It's not a long journey, thanks to the many improvements you've made over the years, but it still seems that too soon the grate is sliding back into the wall to allow you exit.
You tap your heels together twice as you glide off the lift, already reaching for the cane that you keep there for situations like this. The soft clicks and whirs are nearly imperceptible as the wheels break themselves apart and regress into the hidden compartments in your soles. Your leg becomes dead weight once more, and you wince at the way it drags behind you. You've half a mind to curse whoever came to call on you this time; you hate walking, even if the charade is a necessary one. You're still contemplating the idea when you hobble into your entry to see Zeus himself, stoic and cold as he ever is.
"My lord," You call, barely keeping the venom out of your voice as you do. Many would say it's the heat of the mountain making your blood boil, but you know the truth. Very little in the world sets you off like the man in front of you.
He turns and fixes a blinding grin on you. "My dear Hephaestus!" You scoff at the title; no one has called you by your name in centuries, lest they inherit your lameness. "Wonderful to see you, truly. It's been too long since my last visit."
"Yes, four hundred years does seem to crawl by without you to grace the halls of my forge," You drawl. His eyes steel for a moment, your sarcasm not as lost on him as you'd hope, but it quickly passes. "Why are you here, my lord?"
"Well, you remember how I said I would owe you a favor?" Your eyes narrow and you nod. In the handful of times Zeus has repaid the hundreds of favors he owes, it's hardly ever been something positive. "I'm here to pay it! I brought you a gift."
"A gift, what-?" You don't get the chance to finish. Zeus has already waved forward a steward he brought along. Your heart aches for the boy as sweat drips down his body and his tunic is already singed. Your own leathers are slightly oppressive in the heat, but at least they don't catch fire. Zeus takes a scroll from the boy, harsh and rough, and shoves it into your hands. You unravel it quickly, your eyes darting across the words on the paper.
"A marriage?!" Your screech echoes throughout the mountain and the clanging of metal on metal pauses for a moment. "What am I supposed to do with a marriage, much less one to a-" You scan the paper again. "A love goddess?"
"Not a love goddess," He tuts. "The love goddess. Well. Love deity. Aphrodite is a beauty, you're lucky I could arrange such a thing." Your eyes strain against your skull, threatening to pop out with every word Zeus says.
"What in all of Tartarus is a ‘love deity’ supposed to do in my forge?" You ask him. He scoffs and waves the question off as if it doesn't matter. Your hand twitches with the urge to throw him into the lava, and the only thing keeping you from doing exactly that is the pain striking through your leg - a bitter reminder of just what Zeus is capable of - and the knowledge that it wouldn't even kill him.
"Your mother was adamant about this, Hephaestus." You echo his scoff at this; you're sure she was. "Aphrodite will arrive within the week. See to it that everything is fit for a god." He chuckles at his own joke, and a vision of your cane shoved through his skull implants itself in your brain. You force yourself to take in deep breaths. The scent of hot metals, sparks, and sulfur calms you, as it always has.
"Fine," You say, though Zeus is already on his way out. "I'm not keeping anyone here against their will, though!" Your shout goes ignored, as you knew it would. You grumble under your breath and hobble back to the elevator. Within moments you're shooting down to your bedroom, large and situated close to the heart of the volcano. You don't bother to activate the wheels of your shoes, instead leaning on your cane until you get to your bed.
The plush mattress and blankets are a relief on your aching hip and leg and you let yourself lean back and just relax for a moment. The notice is still clutched in your hand and you find yourself staring at the looping curves of Hera's signature, wondering what she's up to this time.
Memories flood you before you can stop them; being a young godling in Olympus, attached and in awe of your mother as she led you around the city, light gleaming off the golden columns. Seeing the fire in Zeus' eyes the first time he struck her in front of you, and the blaze that came when you stepped in front of her. Starlight glinting off her silver robes as she cried in her garden. The bruising vice he kept on your calf, the feel of the winds against your skin as you fell, the way Helios painted the sky as you kept falling. The feel of a hammer in your hand for the first time, juxtaposed to the throbbing pain in your crippled leg every time you so much as twitched.
The notice is across the room before you realize you've thrown it. You want to believe she isn't playing games; Hera has always been somewhat conniving, but your mother has never been outright cruel to you, not since the night you tried to save her from her husband, and she always had her reasons. You may not always agree with her reasons, but that didn't change the fact that she had them. Still, condemning an innocent person to a life here...condemning you to live your days with a constant reminder of your plainness, your deformity, wasn't something you expected from her. Zeus, yes, but not her.
You let yourself fall back onto the bed, only to adjust a few moments later when the pressure on your hip becomes too much. You're angled now, weight resting on your good side to alleviate even a bit of the pain from the other. It was the only way you could get a moment's peace since your fall, the only time the pain lessened.
You allow yourself five breaths. Five breaths to let the tear slip down your cheek, drawing its path through the soot and the smoke. Four to let your breath shake in your chest and shudder in the air. Three for the ache in your hip to disappear completely, so you are blessedly free from your pain for once. Two for the thorns to tighten impossibly around your heart and let it bleed for you. One for the hole in your chest, shaped like a loving father and a true family that doesn't constantly commission weapons from you to throw at each other.
Pain arcs through your leg once more and you wince. Your hand massages the muscles there absentmindedly; it provides no relief to anything but your mind. You stand and click your heels together once more, glad when the wheels are stable once more. In seconds, you're off, flying through hallways to get to your workshop.
You've got work to do.
It's nearly the entire week later when one of the workers knocks on the door of your workshop.
"Aphrodite has arrived, my lady." You wave at him and he disappears back into the mass of his brothers. It doesn't take you long to get to the entryway, rolling through the halls until you're just outside the large bronze doors. You retract your wheels and grasp your cane, reminding yourself that the more people thought Zeus had crippled you debilitatingly, the better. Your hip aches again and you tune it out in favor of tapping the end of your cane against a small hammer at the base of the doors. There's a quiet whir as they slide open, and you limp forward as best you can.
The foyer is packed with people, cyclopes everywhere with bags slung over their shoulder, forest nymphs tapping at their smoking roots, naiads hissing with steam. In the midst of everything stands two still figures, one infinitely more familiar than the other.
"I thought I told you that the next time you step foot in my forge, I'd stoke my fires with your bones." Your voice is loud as it reverberates across the walls. Both figures turn to look at you, but your glare doesn't falter.
"Aw, are you still mad about that?" His smile is deceptively innocent. "You never would've gotten her off that throne otherwise."
"It wasn't supposed to be her throne in the first place, was it?" You spit back as you make your way to him. It doesn't escape your notice that everyone but the cyclopes is staring at you, and you're glad the heat from the mountain keeps you flushed. You can't show weakness in front of this crowd, you can't let them know that you know they think you're below them.
You can't let them know that in your worst moments, you agree.
"Get the fuck out of my mountain, Dionysus, before I throw you out."
"Ooh, take after your old man a little too much there, don't you?" Jimin's smile never leaves his face and you resist the urge to smack it with your cane. Instead, you tighten your grip on it and take a breath.
"What are you doing here?" You eventually ask through gritted teeth.
"Just escorting a dear, dear friend." His grin has turned predatory as he rests a hand on his companion's shoulder. "My dear Hephaestus, I'd like to introduce you to Aphrodite." You glance over, looking the man up and down briefly.
He's taller than you - though, with your pained hunch, many are. His shoulders are almost as wide as his eyes as he looks around the room, taking in the granite walls and bronze moldings. His clothes aren't practical in the least; soft and sweet and flowing linens in a pale lilac that complements the purple of his hair. It's a stark contrast to the harsh reds and greys of your soot-stained leathers. When he finally looks at you, his eyes are the same color as the grease you use to oil your inventions and give you no clue to his thoughts.
He's fucking beautiful and it brings a sob to your throat.
"It's...a pleasure." He looks you up and down, not unlike you did him, but whatever conclusions he makes, he says nothing.
"Your quarters are on the fifth floor," You reply in lieu of an actual greeting. "Delius will show you the way. Be careful, or you're likely to lose your head. Keep a cyclops with you while you learn your way around, they can get anywhere." The god looks surprised, though you aren't sure why, and you turn. "They'll see to your meals and needs, as well, so if you find yourself wanting, just let one know. I'll have a key made soon, so you can come and go as you wish."
Aphrodite starts to say something as you walk away, leg dragging slightly behind you as you go. Jimin seems to cut him off, though, already asking for wine.
"And get that bastard out of my forge!" You yell over your shoulder. "If he's still here when I get to the lift, I'm throwing him to the pit."
There's scrambling behind you as the doors close. You feel a twinge of regret; the love god has done nothing to you, you could have given him even the slightest chance. The memory of his eyes as he looked at you flashes in front of you and you lean against the wall for support. No love god would want to associate with someone like you. He is beauty and elegance, a practiced dance in a moonlit gazebo, and you…
You are a mistake, cast from your home and crippled for all to see exactly what happens when you get in Zeus' way.
You take a breath and let the heat from the stone wall soothe the pain in your hip as much as it will before you set off for your workshop.
Seokjin isn't quite sure what to do with himself that night. His friends - suitors - have all gone, unable to bear the heat of the mountain for more than a brief goodbye, and Jimin was quick to go when the cyclopes started for him. What the story there is, he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything, as a matter of fact.
He doesn't know why Hera pushed so hard to have him wed to Hephaestus. He doesn't know why the girl was so cold at their first meeting. He doesn't know why she seemed so normal. Most people he met fell to their knees within moments, desperate to please him and showering him with vain compliments that used to sound like music in his ears. Most were insistent in their offers to him, throwing out their bodies and souls and anything else they thought he might want, just for a single glance from him. He used to laugh as he blew them kisses, delighted by their mindless adoration.
Used to.
He doesn't delight in such things anymore. Centuries have passed, and still, not a single one of the people and creatures that fought to stand in his presence cared about him. All of them saw Aphrodite, god of love and fertility, beauty and passion. They vied for just one night with him, fighting wars to win his hand, throwing whole festivals across Greece for his blessing. It was and would always be an honor. He is beautiful and is thankful for it, but…
Just once, he would like to be beautiful as Seokjin instead of Aphrodite. Would like the people attempting to woo him to hear the words he speaks instead of merely listening to the musicality of his voice. Would like to be believed, trusted, valued for something other than his face. Seokjin has a mind, a creative, capable mind that has - more than once - developed solutions to issues plaguing the mortals, only for him to be brushed to the side while the smart ones figured things out.
He hates it, just like he hates that Hera sprung this on him without so much as a warning. One day he'd been lounging in her garden, the one place he could find some reprieve from the hordes of suitors, and talking to Artemis about her life as a maiden, and the next, Zeus thrust a marriage certificate into his hands and told him to be packed by the end of the week.
And now his wife doesn't even care to look at him. You're not entranced like everyone else. The stories have grossly exaggerated your looks; he was prepared to look upon a monster, not a woman, pained and covered in soot with a limp. Still, there had been no emotion in your gaze, not even an ounce of the hatred or disgust he may have dreaded in his journey to this volcano.
Nor do you care to dine with him, clearly. He's been sat at a scorched rocky table longer than three of him, by himself, for nearly two hours. Olympus has spoiled him, clearly, or perhaps it's that your own manners are lacking. In the skies, everyone dines together, lounging on cushions and waiting until Zeus and Hera arrive before digging into the food presented to them. It's respectful, a way to honor the hosts of the home. Even there, however, he would not be kept waiting for more than ten minutes.
"You, there," He eventually calls to a cyclops in the corner, polishing goblets that likely haven't been touched in centuries. It turns to fix its eye on him, and Seokjin represses the instinctive shudder. "When does Hephaestus intend on dining tonight?"
"Apologies, my lord, but the lady has her dinner served in her workshop." Seokjin frowns at that and the cyclops continues. "She stays there most hours of the day, takes her meals there to ensure she makes the most of each day to create her inventions and improve upon her current ones."
Seokjin huffs and debates with himself for a moment. It would be rude to eat without his hostess present, but if you had your meals delivered elsewhere there was little chance you'd bother to come to the dining hall. He couldn't possibly go to your workshop to dine with you either; the cyclops could show him the way, yes, but he would no doubt be intruding on things he had no business being near, even as your husband.
He spews out a slew of curses that make the cyclops in the corner blush and digs into a roll. He would simply have to eat alone tonight, and perhaps if he catches you tomorrow, he can request your presence at meals.
You don't see Aphrodite again until the next evening.
You've almost forgotten anyone else lives in the mountain you call home, still used to being on your own besides the cyclopes. Roniah had informed you that morning that the god inquired as to your whereabouts the previous night during his supper, and the slightest bit of guilt shoots through you. You should have joined him if only for a moment to be polite, but you'd gotten entranced in your latest designs. Your own food had been taken away in the wee hours of the morning, stale and unwanted. It was commonplace, but you need to at least be polite to your husband.
You sink deeper into the steaming water around you, rubbing away the last bits of soot and grease as you ponder. The hot water is heaven on your aches, the warmth seeping through and relaxing them into painlessness. You don't allow yourself the luxury of bathing often, usually just wiping yourself clean every so often when the remnants of your work become too thick on your skin or the ache in your bones is too much to ignore. It's a nice reprieve, though, one you bask in each time. The water is close to boiling, comfortable and warm for a goddess such as yourself, and the steam makes it difficult to see much of anything.
You've long since come to terms with your life; you aren't beautiful, you won't ever walk without pain again, you won't be the daughter your parents wanted. But it's moments like these that you let yourself pretend, if only for a moment. Pretend you weren't thrown from your home. Pretend your leg isn't covered in scars from where the rocks of Olympus sliced it open. Pretend you're the same woman you were all those years ago, clutching at your mother's skirts as Zeus thundered towards her.
Your head starts to spin and you stand, clumsily making your way out of the pool and to the stone bench where your linen towel waits. You slip your robes over your shoulders and sigh at the softness of them. The black linen you keep here was woven by Ariadne herself, enchanted by Athena and dipped in the fires of your forge to withstand the heat. It allows for a slight breeze as you move into your bedroom, not bothering to tie the material closed completely so it hangs limp on your shoulders, torso exposed. Your skin is overheated from the water and you enjoy the way the air cools you just slightly as you sit on your bed.
You don't think anything of it until a throat clears behind you and you whip your head around to see Aphrodite standing just inside your door.
"Apologies, my lady. Horedon did not mention you were indisposed when I asked him to show me to your quarters." His voice is pleasant, soft and gentle. It matches his image and makes you acutely aware of how loud you always are, always must be in order to be heard over the forges.
"It's an honest mistake," You say eventually, tugging your robes tighter around you. "What do you need? As I said, the cyclopes are more than capable-"
"I wanted to extend my gratitude, actually." You can't even be mad he cut you off, too surprised by his words. "You and your workers have been very kind in the day that I've been here, and I appreciate that. I know that this isn't exactly something we had planned."
You nod in understanding. Pain flares in your leg once more and you massage the muscle out of habit. "Are your quarters to your liking? I did my best to position you high enough that the heat from the magma wouldn't be too overbearing, but not high enough that the forge smoke would choke you. Ah, and your bed also has a screen function built in to help to filter the air, so it may be more like what you're used to."
"Thank you, it's lovely. Delius showed me yesterday, it felt very much like Hera's garden." If he notices your flinch at the words, he doesn't say anything. "Listen, Hephaestus, I know neither of us may have wanted this, but I think we should make the most of this. We can at least be civil. If you would, your company at dinner would be most welcome." You stare at him, a laugh bubbling up in your throat that you can't stop. He looks baffled upon hearing it and it takes you a full minute to calm down enough to speak.
"Thank you for inviting me to dine at my own table, Aphrodite," you say with an amused smile. "I shall do my best to attend, should I find myself near the hall." His ears turn a lovely shade of pink as he inclines his head in a small bow and leaves. You laugh again once he's gone. The entire situation is too hysterical for you.
You, a plain and hobbled smith, are married to a love god who is beauty personified, who has already taken it upon himself to invite you to dine at your dinner table with him. You really should have expected him to pull something like this; already comfortable enough to show up unannounced in your private chambers and issue invitations and probably demands of your workers. You're not sure why Hera has banished him here; he's so much like her, he should be a favorite, and yet she must hate him if she's sentenced him to live here for the rest of existence.
With a sigh you settle back into your bed, pillows supporting the weight of your bad leg and sheets thrown haphazardly around you.
You don't expect to sleep, so when you wake, you're disoriented. You're not sure how long you were out, but it seems to have been a while based on the hunger that gnaws at your stomach. You click your heels and wheel your way to the kitchens, rubbing at your eyes to clear the sleep from them.
You're focused when you enter the kitchen and give a curt wave to the mass of cyclopes situated around the island. It isn't until you're done making your gyro that you turn, deliciousness only a bite away and lock eyes with Aphrodite.
He looks radiant, as always; the pale yellow cloth drapes along his form in a most appealing way, and there's an amused smirk playing over his lips. His hair is still that soft purple, but it's faded some.
"It's nice to see you again, wife," He says with an incline of his head. "It's been a while since anyone's seen you roaming through the halls." You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you lean back against the counter, wheels dig into the stone underneath your feet.
"Yes, well, I was resting. Nothing strange about that, is there?" His lips quirk in a knowing smile and he shares a glance with the cyclops to his right. You notice for the first time how soft his mouth looks, pillowy and full, and you absently wonder how many have felt those lips against their skin.
"Eat up, my lady," Aphrodite says eventually. "After a week-long nap, I expect you need it. Zeus dropped by a few days ago to deliver his wedding gift, it's waiting in your workshop. I've already commissioned a new necklace for Hera as thanks."
You frown, stuffing the gyro in your mouth. It was one thing to learn that you've been asleep for a week - not uncommon, for a god, but useful knowledge - but to know that Zeus stopped by without waking you, and that Aphrodite has been running things in your stead… You glance quickly around, noting the way each cyclops in the room is turned toward the love god as if they had all been deep in conversation before you arrived, and the sprawling mass of gems and stones atop the island in front of them.
"You're commissioning the cyclopes for jewelry now?" You eventually ask. He nods.
"They truly have an eye for detail," He says, a cheeky grin growing on his face. The cyclopes look amused, a couple even laughing outright, and you stifle a sigh at the terrible joke. "And I had no idea that these gems are so common here. The quality is astounding, honestly, I only ever see it in the gems on Olympus."
"That's because the stones on Olympus are from here," you tell him. Your eyes rake over him and he seems...happier than last you saw him. The soft light from the magma tunnels highlights his features beautifully, only enhancing the natural beauty, and there are gems decorating his hands and wound tight around his throat in a choker. More than that, though, he looks peaceful, relaxed. His muscles are relaxed as he sits among the one-eyed giants, a smile never far from his face, and they make conversation with him easily, despite their usual hesitance to be around any of the other gods. It warms you to see them so at ease around someone other than yourself.
"Well, if it's for Hera, it must be the best. Get me the designs, Aphrodite, and if there's anything else-"
"Seokjin."
"Hm?" You turn, already halfway to the door.
"Seokjin is my chosen name. Please, you don't need to keep using my title."
"Oh." Your eyes must be as wide as saucers as you stare at him, but the soft grin on his face doesn't falter in the least. "Alright then, Seokjin."
"We'll get you the designs when we're done, then, Hephaestus." You nod a little at his words and roll yourself away from the kitchens. It isn't until you get to your workshop that you realize you never gave him your own name.
Seokjin is...confused, to say the least.
The stories on Olympus about your mountain forge are varied and extravagant, but they all seem to agree on the basics. The mountain is a terrible place to live, always filled with soot and impossible to navigate and as hideous as its master. The cyclopes are unfriendly and outright rude to everyone, if not openly hostile, likely because they are forced into servitude. The forge goddess that rules over the volcano is as violent and temperamental as the mountain itself, liable to explode at any moment after being cast out of Olympus for her own hubris. You're said to be cold and unfeeling and cruel, whipping any cyclops that doesn't do what you say when you say and beating the others into submission as you forge more and more powerful weapons for Zeus, your punishment for daring to stand against him.
Seokjin was finding more and more that none of those things were true.
Yes, there is soot everywhere, but a simple wash and blessing upon his clothes keep them clean and beautiful. The mountain itself is a bit harsher than what he usually would consider beautiful, but the crystal mines glow with the magma behind them, lighting the walls with a myriad of colors, and the soft light in the palace does wonders for his looks, not to mention the way the ash and charcoal have helped his complexion. The halls are winding and strange, but following the system of bells and strings that he's seen messages shooting along means that even when lost, he can easily find a cyclops to help him to where he's going. Said cyclopes were unfriendly that first day, but now? They were nice beings, each one enthusiastic about the things they create and excited to be there, especially now that there's another person to talk to. They warmed to Seokjin fairly quickly after he asked what they were making; some kind of automaton, apparently, and when he asked what it was supposed to do, how it works, each eye lit up with glee as they began to explain it to him.
And you.
You are not violent at all. Every time you look at one of your workers, it is with friendship and happiness, and while you are easily distracted and yes, a bit temperamental, you are ultimately kind. He wants for nothing, everything he could ask for is given almost as soon as the words leave his mouth, he is free to come and go as he wishes, which is more than can be said for some of the other gods he's met. You have been unfailingly kind in the wake of your marriage to him. Everything he's witnessed, from the way you rushed to stamp out a flare at the bottom of his robes one day to the way you held a cyclops in your arms as he sobbed for a brother who had been lost to the sea, nothing has shown him that you are anything like what the Olympians say. You are frequently absent, locked away in your workshop for days at a time and leaving him to his own devices, but even that is a breath of fresh air. For so long, he's been surrounded by people - gods, nymphs, mortals, anyone and everyone all vying for his attention because he's beautiful and elegant, stealing precious moments of solitude where he can, and now he has as much as he desires. It makes him want to cry, he's so thankful for it.
He's only left a few times, determined to visit Hera and see the few friends he keeps - Dionysus is always glad to see him, odd enough, and loves to hear his tales of life under the mountain. Each time he leaves, however, he's swarmed. Not always immediately, but it's as if the world can sense his return, and they come in droves, all to catch a glimpse of his beauty. It's exhausting and overwhelming now that he's had so much time on his own, which is the exact reason he doesn't leave very often. The worst of them is an especially willful war god, who Seokjin swears has been camping outside the volcano to know the second he leaves to visit a friend because the man is on him in a heartbeat and refuses to leave him alone.
It's irritating and the way the man looks at him leaves him uncomfortable for days after he returns. He has half a mind to ask a cyclops to start accompanying him out, but even Seokjin knows better than to bring one of them to Olympus; Zeus would strike the gentle being down in a heartbeat just for daring to step where the gods live.
He ponders what else he can do as he wanders the halls of the mountain, a habit at this point. He's been here weeks, each day better than the last, and still hasn't explored the entire place. He's on the lowest level now, heat scorching the hair on his arms and sandals blackened with ash. There's been quite a clamor down here somewhere for the past few days, and he's curious to see what project is being hammered out.
He doesn't expect to turn a corner, walk past an open door, and see you, wheeling frantically around a large room, papers tucked in all sorts of pockets on your overalls, hair wild, face covered in soot. He watches, fascinated as you screech to a halt beside a large worktable, rifling through paper after paper before finally finding whatever it is you're looking for, only to push yourself to the other side of the room to pull a steaming piece of celestial bronze out of a pail. You look harried and distracted, not even having noticed him yet, and it…
It's honestly beautiful.
He's always loved seeing beauty like this; the sheer, unfiltered rawness of creativity and passion. The way you and others lost themselves in their work, blind to everything but the vision in their heads, forgoing sleep and food and everything else in favor of making something out of nothing. It's beauty in its most naked form; the naked truth of being real, in the fleeting moments of existence, and Seokjin lives for it. It's his personal favorite of all the beauty in the world, and you encapsulate it better than anyone he's ever met.
It's also beyond fascinating to watch you roll around on the wheels attached to your sandals. He can't help but wonder what it's like, to not have to take step after step and instead just roll through the slightly slanted halls of the mountain.
"Did you make those?" He regrets the words almost immediately, reaching in futility to catch you as you turn and trip over a pail set just too far in your path for you to dodge. "I'm so sorry, I should have announced myself. I don't mean to keep startling you."
"It's fine," you groan, though the hand on your hip is white-knuckled and your teeth are gritted. "I should have been paying more attention." He strides over and helps you to your feet, not missing the way you lean on him for support until you can sit on the now-overturned pail. "What did you need?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just exploring. Those, on your feet, though. You made them?" He smiles at your nod, however hesitant it is, and settles on the ground beside you to get a better look. "They're amazing. This compartment here, are they retractable?" You click your heels together in response, and Seokjin watches with wide eyes as the discs fold themselves up and slide into the soles of your sandals. "Amazing. Can you make me a pair?"
"You...you aren't going to tell Zeus, are you?" Your voice is the most unsure he's heard it, and he frowns.
"Why would I do that?"
"I don't know, I just...he wouldn't really be happy if he knew I made these. Since I'm supposed to be suffering and everything, and they make it...not as terrible."
Seokjin scoffs. "No, I won't tell Zeus. You really do have to make me a pair, though, these are amazing. What else have you made?" Your eyes are wide when he looks back up at you, but you quickly pull papers out of your pockets to hand them over.
"Well, this is my current schematic. I've just got to figure out how to get it to work."
"Is this...is this a person?"
"Kind of. The muses asked for some kind of...enhancement that would let them be heard in more places at once. So I've created this," You point to the left-most figure, which could only be Calliope. "Which is going to essentially absorb whatever the muse is doing, and then these," You run your finger along the other eight figures, each distinct but still matching overall, "Will distribute that to wherever they are. I've got a good basis for the visual representation, I think, and the audio system should be fine, but the issue I've been having is that I can't seem to get it to all...click."
"So you've got the transmitting figured out?"
"Yeah, that part was easy. And I built the miniatures, and they've been working fine, but I can't get the full sized ones to work correctly. I've smelted them down at least five times just to rebuild them." Seokjin stares at the papers in his hands, trying to make sense of the little scratches of handwriting that dart on and off the papers. He shakes his head, and pulls back, squinting.
"This may be a stupid question," He starts, looking at the front and side views you've drawn out, "But did you account for the weight?" You're silent for a long while, and when he looks up, you're gaping at him. "Sorry, of course you did, that was dumb."
"The fucking weight," You mutter. You're off in a flash, pulling the papers out of his hands to throw them down on a workbench and start scrawling again. "Because it wouldn't affect the smaller models since they use less material, but the full-size automatons would have the pressure which would affect the-" You start whispering to yourself, too rushed and quiet for him to make sense of, but he softens as he watches you go. He pulls the pail out of the way and sets it back against the wall before settling in on top of it.
He stays there for what feels like hours, watching as you pour adamantine into the molds and weld parts together and breathe that spark of life into the core of Calliope's automaton counterpart. He doesn't dare to breathe as you watch, hope clear in your eyes. Then the whirring starts and the automaton assumes a very Calliope-like pose, and you actually start to laugh and jump up and down. He can't keep the smile from his face, but he's satisfied now that he knows you're happy, so he moves to leave.
He's stopped by your voice, softer than he expected it over the hissing of the dying forge. He turns and you repeat your name. It sounds awkward on your lips, like you haven't said it in so long that your voice has forgotten what it sounds like, but you're smiling at him and you have soot on your face and he has to resist the urge to wipe it off. He echoes you quietly, and he thinks he's never heard a name more beautiful and fitting for someone like you.
Later, as he sinks into the steaming water of his rooms to wash the soot from his skin, he surprises himself. For the first time in his life, he wishes he wasn't a love god not for the unwanted attention, but because now he knows. He knows this feeling blossoming in his chest, and he knows how it mirrors that spark in your own heart. He can sense it, can feel it in the air as if it had actual weight to it, and he just...knows. He knows that you don't know what this is, that you probably will never realize what he feels, that you'll brush off your own feelings as some reluctant fondness while he can feel every step you take further into the magic of love.
And he won't be able to do anything to keep himself from falling in love with you and you won't ever be able to see that.
You've been locked in your workshop for days, putting the finishing touches on the Muses' automatons and adding the decorative bits you know they'll love. You haven't slept in twice as long, food even further from your mind, as it usually is when you get into one of your projects. It's a shock when Seokjin returns to your workshop balancing several trays of food and drink. You hold a strange fondness for him, unable to resist after he'd pointed out something so obvious in your designs. Anyone that could help you with your designs was worth at least knowing a little, you figure, but you never expected him to keep coming back.
And yet here is, directing three cyclopes to set cushions and blankets and all manner of soft, plush bedding on the ground just inside the door of your workshop. You gawk, wondering just how much nerve he has to be doing this and also what possible reason he thinks is good enough to disrupt you.
"You need to eat," He says when he notices you staring at him. "Besides, you're basically finished with them, and you need sustenance and rest if I'm going to get my awesome wheel shoes." You refrain from mentioning that you've already got them made; you don't want to encourage him too much. Pelion gives you a look as he exits the room and you huff. Just because they spend centuries here, they think they can tell you when to take breaks and eat. Typical cyclops.
You grumble as you wheel yourself to the mass of cushions Seokjin has created, but you quiet at the way it does ease the soreness in your leg. As good as you've become at drowning out the pain, the steady onslaught to your nerves has been fraying your attention more than you'll admit.
Seokjin sits after you have and presents the food with a flourish. It all looks delicious, much better than the hasty gyros and wraps you put together, and your mouth waters. He very kindly does not mention how disgusting you must look as you begin to dig in, instead talking about a recent trip he'd taken to see Dionysus.
His tone eventually catches your attention more than his words. "Wait," You stop him, slurping down some ambrosia. "Back up. Someone's stalking you?"
"I...don't think I'd call it stalking, exactly. I don't think he's going to do anything, either, it's all just talk, but...well. It's still frustrating when I'm just trying to visit friends."
"No, if it's bothering you, then it's an issue, then it needs to end. Tell me everything." And Seokjin does. From how the war god waits for him, either outside the mountain or outside Olympus, spends every moment Seokjin is gone following him around and saying some truly crude things. All of it makes your blood boil - Seokjin is kind, to the point that even the cyclopes love him, which is rare, and he gets harassed enough apparently without some god running around hitting on him constantly.
The rumors, though. The rumors are what get you seeing red. It's no secret on Olympus that this was an arranged marriage; they aren't uncommon among gods, and they aren't usually a scandal, but yours apparently is. Seokjin hesitates when he tells you about them, and you nearly break your fork in your effort to keep your rage from him. All sorts of stories, from you abusing him, forcing things he isn't comfortable with, keeping him chained up, feeding him pieces of your cyclopes, that you had bought him from Zeus with promises of gifts from the forge. Each is as terrible as the last, and all of them have your stomach rolling, and Seokjin reluctantly explains that he believes the war god to be the source of most of them.
"Well," You say, violently spearing a grape. "That must be stopped, immediately. I refuse to allow people to think of you like that, it's utterly disrespectful." You wobble to your feet and roll over to the wall of ideas you hadn't managed to get around to yet. "What do you think? Maiming? Or is that too quick? I've got a truly brilliant idea for a bull, it could eat him if I use the right materials. It'd take at least a hundred years for him to get out of that."
"Well," Seokjin eventually says. You turn to look at him, excitement bright in your eyes. The wheels in his brain are turning and he's got a fondness on his face as he lounges on pillows and cushions; it melts your heart. He looks every bit the love god he is, and something in you wants to sob at the thought. "I would say, personally, if he's going to embarrass us in such a public way, then it should only really be fair to embarrass him in such a way." He tosses the knife in his hand and it embeds itself in one of the papers on your wall. You ignore the throb of arousal that runs through you, looking instead at the design he's chosen.
"Oh," You whisper. Ideas are already running rampant in your mind. "Yes, I think this could be a very good plan."
Seokjin is in stitches when he next sees you, clutching at his sides as his laughter echoes through your workshop. The sight of his harasser in your net as he spouted off a variety of kinks that made even Zeus blush, in the middle of the golden city with all of the gods around him isn't one Seokjin is likely to forget.
"I still don't understand how you did it," He says, calming slightly as he wipes tears from his eyes. "How did you weave such a net, and how did you enchant it to make him say such things?"
"It wasn't much," You say. Your smile is beautiful, a treasure rarer than all the gems that he wears and more valuable than anything he's come across. He wants to wear it, wants you to keep smiling like that, with such pride in your work and happiness radiating from you. "...and then Arachne wove it all together." He nods as if he'd heard the rest of what you said. Part of him feels guilty for not listening; it really is fascinating, how you craft such wonderful things out of such pedestrian supplies.
"You're amazing," He says. He doesn't mean to, but it's true. Even now, as you lean against your workbench, fingers digging into the skin of your hip without even realizing you're doing it, smile slowly fading into something else - something more - you are radiant. Soot across your face and wheels on your shoes and the kindest heart he's ever seen in a goddess, and he wants you like no one else. There has always been beauty in creation, always been love in inspiration, and you are the ultimate mix of the two, painted over with enough cunning and determination to keep at your work no matter what.
He steps closer to you, slowly, and brings a hand up to wipe at the soot on your cheek. It smears under his thumb and your breath hitches in the most attractive way.
It's unbearably attractive, honestly, and it makes an ache swell within him that goes deeper than the physical. He wants to keep you smiling like that, wants to watch you work and bring you gyros and cart you to a hot bath on a bad day. He can see it, all of it, splayed in front of him as clear as if he were an Oracle. He'd waltz into your workshop and pepper you with kisses before pulling you out after him. Your wheels would squeak along the stone floor but you wouldn't complain even as he settles you in hot water and makes you forget your pain as he asks about your newest designs and creations. He can see it, and it's beautiful, and he wants it so bad that it hurts.
Almost as much as it hurts when your face falls, expression closing off into the same passive coolness that greeted him when he first arrived. You slide your way around him and turn to face another worktable. It hurts, the way you won't look at him, and moves something deep and primal inside him. It urges him to go on, to trap you against that table and make you open up to him, make sure you know that you can trust him to satisfy you.
He stamps it down with a long breath.
"Well," He says, pointedly ignoring your shaky breathing. "Thank you, again, for helping me. I suppose I'll see you around."
"You don't need to thank me, Seokjin," You say. Your voice is tight and your hands twitch and he wants to kiss you until the pain is gone forever. He doesn't. "You're my husband, I was only doing what was right."
"Still," He says, "It means more to me than you know."
You don't respond, and he leaves before you can. He doesn't want you to, doesn't want to hear the reluctant rejection spill from your lips when he knows. He's a love god, he knows when someone is in love, can feel in the air and taste it on his tongue. He knows that scent better than his own face and your workroom was suffocating with it.
He has no doubt that some was his own; he knows this fluttering in his chest, the rolling of his stomach, the spark of lightning dancing along his skin. He knows.
But he can smell the hesitation, too. Can see the way you fight the feeling, in every aborted reach for his hand and each averted gaze when he looks at you. You love him, he's so sure of it, but you don't want to be.
And he cannot force you to change your mind about that. He won't. He just isn't sure how long he can last without telling you that he loves you, too.
Curses spill from your lips as you glide cautiously through the hallways. You've grown too complacent, comfortable around your husband. You very nearly slipped the other day, were a hair's breadth from throwing caution to the wind and kissing him; it was a miracle you caught yourself. He'd just looked so happy. The smile, that laugh, everything about him was just glowing in the light of your workshop, and then he'd complimented you.
It's been decades since someone complimented your work like that, and none of them had done so with that look in their eyes. The gentle warmth, the fondness, the glow.
The love.
That was what startled you out of your thoughts, the sheer love that radiated from him. That was what made you push him away. It's what has kept you from seeing him for nearly a week, turning on your heel and going the other direction when you spot him. You can't handle love.
Not just because you've never known such an emotion, not just because you've never had anyone look at you that way, but because...he's a love god. A man like Seokjin surely falls in love every day with each passing stranger that catches his eye, and you...don't. You've never felt this before, you've never had someone love you, you don't know how it works, and worse, you can't figure it out.
You can't take love apart and look at each gear and cog and spring until you can piece it back together into a whole again. You can't observe and tinker and improve on something like love. Clouds and lightning? Simple mediums. Celestial bronze? Malleable as clay under your hands. But love? No, that was something utterly foreign to you.
You drop to your bed and pull your leg up beside you to inspect the wheel. It's cracked, badly, and it's a shock that it survived long enough to get you to your room. You lean closer and flinch at the stabbing pain that rolls through you. It's a stark reminder of yet another reason you don't belong with Seokjin. A god like him has almost definitely lain with the most beautiful in all creation; he surrounds himself with only the finest gems, the softest cloth, the richest wine. He only accepts the best.
You are far from being the best. Mutilated and scarred, left to limp around your mountain in solitude. You're past acceptance of your pain and the scars that mark your skin, you don't really care much that they exist anymore most days. Life could be easier without them, but would you have become the person you are today without them? You wouldn't have been so determined to find an easier way around, you wouldn't have worked for days on the wheeled sandals, you wouldn't have discovered your passion for creating.
You wouldn't be in pain, though. And maybe, just...maybe, Seokjin would find you beautiful. As beautiful as the twinkling stones around his throat and the flowing silks across his chest. Beautiful enough to stay beneath this mountain in the smoke and heat, to press his pillow-soft lips against yours, to love without abandon. Now, though, with your scars and pain and awkward gait, you find yourself doubting what you saw. It could have been love, yes, but how likely is that? A love god forced to live in a suffocating cave, wed to the laughingstock of the pantheon. It's more likely that he's attached himself to the nearest person that shows him any affection, despite how desperately you want him to really feel something for you.
Three succinct knocks on the door of your room jar you away from the thought.
"Come in," You call. You wish you were more surprised to see Seokjin, purple hair prettily faded and matching the soft lavender cloth that drapes from his shoulders.
"Can I have a few minutes of your time, Hephaestus?" He hasn't used your title since you told him your name, and it hurts to hear it now. Cements the fact that you are too different.
You nod, and the pain in your hip keeps you from moving away when he comes to kneel before you.
"I love you," He says matter-of-factly. "I've let you avoid me this past week because it's not my place to force these feelings on you, but the stench of heartbreak is too much now. It just lingers in the halls and it's starting to seep into my clothes and if it keeps up, I might have to double my skincare routine because it soaks into my pores. So I love you. A lot more than I ever expected to, and probably more than I've ever loved anything in my life."
You gape at him. "What...why…what?"
"You are creative and cunning and petty and inventive and intelligent and determined and it's so beautiful," He says. There's not an ounce of hesitation in his face, and it steals the words from your throat. "I love you, and I need you to know that so you stop stinking up the forge with your angst and heartbreak. I understand if you don't want to be with me-"
"What heartbreak, what-"
"Well, I don't actually," Jin continues, ignoring your protests. "I'm really quite the catch and to deny yourself of me when you love me this much would be an entirely new and advanced form of masochism, but nevertheless, I will accept your rejection, however inane and ill-advised it may be, because it is, ultimately, your choice. You can tell me to go, and I will, and you won't ever know I'm here again. But, if you accept this, then…"
He trails off and his eyes soften impossibly as he wraps his hands around yours. You've never believed people could communicate so much with just a single look, but you're proven wrong by the sheer emotion in his gaze. Your name falls from his lips, and it's never sounded so nice to your ears.
"If you accept, then I swear to you, I will spend every hour of every day ensuring you feel loved. I will bring you food when you forget to eat, I will tidy your workshop when you can't find anything, I will carry you wherever you need to go when the pain is too much to bear." One hand moves to rest along your hip, warmth distracting you from the stab of pain that ghosts through it. "I will be everything and anything that you need, always and forever, and I won't let another moment pass with you thinking otherwise."
He looks at you with expectation in his eyes, and you...can't speak. There are no words for what you're feeling; the sureness of his love warring with the anxiety of not being worth it. You open your mouth several times to respond and find that you can't; of all the words flying around in your mind, none of them make it out. He waits, for longer than you would have, before he sighs and nods.
"That's fine. Love is complicated even at the best of times." He stands, and the loss of his hands on you feels like part of you is being ripped away. "If you ever change your mind, let me know."
His smile is sad as he leaves, and the clink of the door behind him is the last nail in the coffin. Something wet and warm hits your hand, and you realize you're crying. When did you start crying? You struggle to your feet, rolling wildly across the room before you gain your balance.
The door swings open as you shove past it, the last bit of his purple robes turning the corner, and you shove off the wall to gain speed. You can't let him go. The knowledge surges through you with surety you've never felt, and it feels like there's a timer above your head, counting down to the moment you lose him forever. His name echoes through the halls, even though you don't remember calling it, and you speed around a corner to him.
He's half turned to face you already, about to head down another hall since this one dead ends, and it's as you go to brake that you remember the cracked wheel. There is no braking, you're lucky you've made it so far, but you're at top speed right now and there's no time.
"Don't-" is all you can get out before you're crashing into him, wincing as he falls down to the hard ground and the wheel splits in half beneath you. The pain comes an instant later, too much weight too suddenly, and it would bring tears to your eyes if you didn't fight them down.
"Wow," Jin says after a second. "You really did fall for me, didn't you?" His laughter drowns out your groan, but it's worth it for the way he's smiling at you.
"I…" You hesitate, unsure of the words. He waits, patient and relaxed even as he adjusts you to sit on his lap instead of the rock. "I do. I want this."
"I know," He says with a grin. "It's nice to hear you say it, though." He doesn't flinch at the smack you give his shoulder, just presses a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth.
"I swear to all the gods, Seokjin, if you don't stop, I'm going to put this discus through your skull."
"Ooh, please do. I hear that's how Athena was born."
"Seriously?"
"You're right, we don't need anyone else like that running around."
You let your tools fall to the table in front of you and spin around to face your husband. He's exactly where he has been for hours, lounging among pillows and silks on the bed he's had installed in your workshop. A bowl of grapes sits nearby and he's been working his way through them for what feels like forever. If you weren't so irritated, you'd be struck dumb by the image he paints, half-naked and glowing as he pops a fruit between his lips.
As it stands, you're just frustrated and horny now, which is never really a good thing, but especially not on bad days. The ache has made it hard to think, and you've been shuffling around all day trying to find a position that made it hurt just a little less but had no such luck. You've made no progress on the designs in front of you, either; between Seokjin's commentary and the fog of pain in your mind, you had no concentration.
"I'm trying to work, Seokjin. We had an agreement, remember? You could have the bed installed, you can hang out here, I don't mind, but you have to let me work."
"You've been trying for hours," Seokjin whines. "Take a break with me, please? You need to rest your hip anyway, or you won't be able to focus." You hate that he's right, and you hate that he knows he's right, and you really hate that he knows you know he's right. You grumble as you wheel over to him and as you slide your shoes off. It's his one rule about the bed, no shoes, and while you can't blame him since they were covered in ash and soot and rock, you still like to complain about it.
His hands are on you in an instant, gliding under your shirt and massaging your hip. You sink into the touch, sighing as the pain lessens slightly.
"Let me help? We've still got some of the lotion that Apollo sent as a wedding favor. I brought it down, just in case." Lips press soft kisses to your shoulder, and you know it's only a matter of time before you give in. You should probably be a little ashamed of how little it takes for your husband to distract you, but you can't bother to care now.
You nod, and you feel him smile against your skin. He's gone and back in a heartbeat and he lays you back against the pillows carefully. You wince when your hip rests flat, instantly adjusting to bear your weight elsewhere.
"Is it bad today?" He mutters as he slides your usual leathers off. Any shyness and embarrassment you once had are long gone, softened by the passage of time and the sheer amount of times he's seen you naked.
"No," You respond quietly. He shoots you a disbelieving look. "It's more annoying than usual, I suppose, but it's not any worse than usual."
"You shouldn't have irritated it by working," Seokjin says as he runs some of Apollo's lotion between his hands to warm it. "You could have stayed right here and gotten more done."
"I can't forge a throne from the bed, Seokjin."
"No, but you can draw designs for it. And for the jewelry I promised Dionysus."
"I still don't know how you talked me into making something for him that isn't a chastity belt or a guillotine." The heat in your words is dulled with every slide of your husband's hands over your hip. The lotion starts working almost immediately, sinking into your skin and dissipating any discomfort it reaches. Seokjin is smiling as he works and pats your thigh lightly. You twist more, laying on your side so he can reach the back of your thigh.
"You can't be mad at him forever, can you?" He asks. You open your mouth to disagree - as a goddess, you quite literally can - but only a squawk comes out when he slaps your ass and watches it jiggle. He laughs as you slap at his shoulder, no real strength behind it.
"That's it, give me my clothes, I have work to do."
"Mm, I don't think so. Apollo said you have to rest for a while after applying, remember?" He leans down to press a kiss to your cheek.
"What do you expect me to do, just lay here and do nothing? I can't turn my brain off, Seokjin, I'll go mad if I have to lay here without being able to work."
"I actually had other ideas." The smile never leaves his face, and as he leans over you, you can feel the length of him pressing into your thigh. "Still just laying there, but much more enjoyable."
"Scandalous," You whisper, fighting a smile. "What would my husband think?"
"That you look sexier than anything he's ever seen like this and that he wants nothing more than to make you forget about anything but him."
“That doesn’t sound very restful,” You tease as he kisses along your neck and down to your collarbone. Your breath hitches in your throat, and you can feel his familiar smile against your skin; he always does love it when you get flustered. “I’m pretty sure Apollo specified ‘no sex’ in his definition of resting. He was pretty clear about it, actually, which makes me wonder what you’ve told him.”
Seokjin nips at your collarbone lightly. “Didn’t I say I want you to forget about anything but me?”
“Didn’t you say you were going to make me?” You retort. It’s a familiar argument, as comfortable and warm as Seokjin’s hands massaging your hip and thigh. His silk-soft hands dip downwards even as he rises, lifting your leg up and hooking your ankle around his neck. The discomfort that hits is overshadowed by the relieving stretch, and heat pools in your belly when you feel his length press against you once more, significantly closer to where you’d like it. He straddles your free leg, pressing against your naked core.
“Seokjin, please,” You mutter. His touch is feather-light now, fingertips ghosting over your skin and marveling at the goosebumps they raise. You wiggle underneath him as he begins to trace your scars. The first time you’d done this, you didn’t let him linger; you were too embarrassed, too ashamed, too aware of the marks that start just above your hip and travel nearly to your knee. He’d insisted on it the next time, but you’d kept the room dark so you wouldn’t have to see his face. Months had passed before you could bear to watch him look at you, and when you did, it shocked you. It still does. It never seems to matter how many times he sees you like this, bare and vulnerable, scars on full display underneath his large hands. He always wears the same expression, the same awe reflecting in his eyes each time, his touch always gentle and careful, like he doesn’t want to make it worse than it already is. There’s no disgust, there’s no carefully crafted neutrality, nothing that you convinced yourself to expect. Just pure, unfiltered love.
It’s there still, radiant as he slides his hands along your skin. The sensation is dulled along the scar tissue, and yet you feel it in your very core. Wetness seeps into the fabric Seokjin is still wearing, and you whimper a little. He shushes you softly, grinding lightly to give you just a taste of the friction you so desire.
“Oh, my beautiful little blacksmith,” He coos. “You are absolutely soaked, did you know that? I haven’t even started yet, and you’re already so ready for me.” You whine as he slides a finger along your folds. You try to buck into his touch, but his other hand holds your hips firmly in place, though he never stops his massage. “Ah-ah, none of that. You’ll make the pain worse.”
You huff slightly under your breath, but you know he’s right. It’s a lesson you’ve learned several times over.
“Seokjin, don’t tease,” You plead. You let your lip pout, knowing he can’t resist the very rare sight. “You said you would distract me. Or should I go back to my designs?”
“If you think you can,” He responds amicably. You turn slightly, your back resting flush against the bed while he moves your leg to wrap around his waist. It’s still twisted to the side, but the position helps with the pain leftover from the ointment. You open your mouth to snark at your husband, but all that comes out is a loud moan as he sinks two fingers deep inside you. His length, pressed into the meat of your ass, twitches at the sound.
“Fuck, Seokjin,” You breathe. The way his fingers fit inside you is like no other feeling, and you could spend centuries trying to recreate it with no luck.
"That's it, love," Seokjin purrs. His eyes are blown wide with desire and focused entirely on where his fingers disappear into you. "You take my fingers so good, sweetheart, like you were made just for me." A whimper escapes and you roll your hips slightly so he hits deeper inside. He grins and quickens his pace, knowing all too well what your body wants at this point. His thumb comes up to rub circles into your clit, gentle but firm; your back arches and your vision goes white with the force of the orgasm that's torn from you, and when you open your eyes, Seokjin is glowing. Literally, because you found out after the first time he made you come that that's a thing that happens to him.
"Please, love. I want you inside." Seokjin chuckles a little at your words, and if you had the energy, you'd kick him, but your legs don't work very well on a good day, so it's unlikely.
"Always so impatient," He tuts, though he does slide his fingers out of you and into his mouth. He moans at the taste of you, and your pussy clenches around nothing, because it's absolute sin to hear, and you wonder idly if maybe those Christians were on to something when they started talking about things being so good it's unholy.
Seokjin grabs your attention with a soft nip to your calf, accustomed to the way your mind wanders. He smiles at you, soft and private and beautiful, and lifts your hips with one hand. He slides a pillow underneath you and stifles a laugh at the way you wiggle into comfort as he settles your legs on either side of his hips.
“Don’t laugh at me,” You huff. Seokjin doesn't respond, but you can see him trying not to smile as he pumps his cock lazily with one hand. "It's not very polite to laugh at your wife. In fact, it's considered fairly rude."
"Oh, is it?" He teases as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. The contact is brief but has your heart jumping in your throat nevertheless.
"Yes," You reply, "It is. You should be nicer to m- fuck, Seokjin." He grins against your lips at your reaction, stilling as he bottoms out inside you. The stretch is perfect, would hurt if it didn't feel so good, and he knows it.
"What was that?" He asks. He nips at your lips when you whine. He drags his cock out, slow and delicious as you tighten around him, before sliding himself just as slowly back in. You'd be embarrassed about the moan that escapes you if you could focus on anything that isn't the way he feels inside you.
From the first time he slid inside, there's always been something so right about the feeling. He fills every part of you, thick and long and harder than the bronze you work with every day. You've never been to the underworld, but you imagine this is what the Isles of the Blessed are like for the mortals, because it's rapturous.
He thrusts gently in the beginning, always, careful to be sure he isn't too rough with your hip. He doesn't stop kissing you, plump lips moving sinuously against your own and breathing in every little moan and whine you make as he moves. He's so slow, so considerate, lets you set the pace each time, and right now? Right now, this is good. The slow, sensual strokes that you can feel against your walls, the steady press of him against your g-spot with every thrust, the warmth of his hand traveling from your thigh up your torso to tweak your nipple as he moves to glide a thumb over your jaw and then retrace his path back down. This is exactly what you want: the two of you moving together, slow and soft and perfect.
You have plenty of time to try some wild new position later, after all.
Your stomach lurches at the thought, heat pooling between your thighs as the band in your tummy steadily stretches. He doesn't change his pace at all, just adds a bit more force as he thrusts inside, and the added force against that spot inside has you seeing stars. Your moans are echoing and loud and with each one, Seokjin's glow just gets brighter and brighter. His hand wanders between your legs, rubbing small circles into your clit in time with his thrusts.
"Show me, love," He mutters in your ear. "Love you so much, show me how it makes you feel. Let go for me." You whimper, blunt nails digging into the skin of his back. He doesn't stop, whispers exactly what he wants to see you do, but it's the way he says your name - quiet and reverent, like you may disappear if he's too loud - that finally has the cord snapping.
It must be too much, because you come to after a few minutes - maybe, time is so strange as a goddess - to find Seokjin rubbing soothing circles into your hips and pressing gentle kisses along the column of your throat. Your pussy contracts around him, and you whimper when you realize he's still hard inside you.
"You didn't…?" You mutter, finding more words are too much work right now.
"No, I don't need to," He assures you. He starts to pull out, but you manage to get a hand on his shoulder.
"Want to," You mumble. Talking is hard, but you manage. "Want to feel you. Inside. Fuck. Please." He asks you if you're sure and you nod, and that's when he kisses you, soft and sweet and completely at odds with his next words.
"Gonna fuck you so good, my little blacksmith," He groans as he begins thrusting once more. He's faster now, hips snapping roughly against yours as he chases his high. "Can't wait to fill you up, wanna see you so full of my cum, want you to swell with it." He grins as you moan, tightening around him as another orgasm approaches. "You like that, love? You want me to fuck you full of my cum? Fill you up so good that it spills out of you for days?" He hisses a curse under his breath as you buck. Your free hand moves downward, rubbing at your clit gently. It's just the right edge of overstimulation, and it sends you off the edge once more, clenching around him. His hips stutter, and the feeling of you milking his cock sends him past the brink as well, and then he's painting your walls with cum.
Later, after he's fucked his cum into you three more times and then eaten it out, he watches you draw a lazy sketch on the little bit of paper that you can reach.
"It looks good," He says softly. You hum, wrinkling your nose.
"I'm worried it's too...understated, I guess."
"No, I think it's perfect for her," Seokjin assures you. "Very Hera. Though, you should put in a secret compartment here, so she can stash her sex toys somewhere he won't look."
"What? No! I'm not building a secret sex toy stash in my mother's throne!"
"Fine." He's quiet for a few more minutes as you sketch. "I'll just get the cyclopes to do it."
#bts fanfiction#jin fanfiction#jin x reader#jin smut#jin fluff#bts fanfic#jin fanfic#seokjin fanfic#bts smut#bts fluff#reader insert#kpop fanfiction#greek god bts#olympian bts#aphrodite jin#aphrodite seokjin#greek god jin#olympian jin#greek god reader#olympian reader#hephaestus reader#series: monsters and gods#ddaenggtan
834 notes
·
View notes
Text
Avengers don't get sick days so neither does spiderman
Peter woke up with the worst sore throat of his life. He knew he was sick, it was obvious. He mentally slapped himself for going on patrol the night before when he knew he needed to catch up on sleep.
' I guess everything is finally catching up to me' he thought.
"Peter, hurry and get dressed. I want you to eat before the bus comes" he heard May yell from the kitchen.
'ugh food, thats the last thing my throat needs' he thought
He threw on a pair of jeans he hoped were clean off the floor and grabbed a tshirt from the drawer.
He made his way to the kitchen and found May with a big grin on her face.
"Good morning honey, I made waffles!" may said.
Peter wanted to tell her he wasn't hungry but he knew that she'd ask questions and he really didn't want to be interrogated. He just wanted to make it through school and get to the tower to train with the worlds mightiest heroes. He started eating the waffles and it felt like his throat was sand paper. He cringed his face at the feel of the food going down but luckily May didnt notice. He looked up at the clock on the wall and realized the bus would be there any minute. He rushed to put his plate in the sink. He gave May a kiss on the cheek and just like that he was out the door without a word.
When peter reached his seat next to MJ on the bus he was beyond tired. MJ could tell something was up with him but decided he'd tell her if something was up eventually.
When they got to school peter wished he just stayed home. He ached everywhere, his throat was raw, and he could swear he was starting to develop a fever. He knew it was gonna be a long day but he had to pull through because Mr.Stark was expecting him at the tower right after school. He headed to first period and sat next to MJ and Ned.
"Hey loser, you look worse than you did on the bus" MJ pointed out.
Peter just shrugged. Ned passed him a note that said ' dude, are you okay. You look like death ran you over in a semi'.
Peter wrote ' throat is killing me but i gotta make it through the day for Mr. Stark'. He passed the note back to Ned. Ned read it and could only shake his head. He knew how much peter wanted to impress tony, but he just wished he wouldnt run himself into the ground in the process.
Time passed and Peter finally made it to lunch. He decided against eating to save his throat from being completely annihilated. He made it to the table and immediately laid his head down. Both MJ and Ned looked at eachother with concern. MJ finally spoke up when she saw peter shaking. "Dude, just go to the nurse. You seriously look like shit"
Peter looked up and opened his mouth to protest but all that came out was a squeak.
"I rest my case" added MJ.
Peter's body was begging for rest but he resisted like always.
His phone buzzed and he looked down to see a text from Ned.
' I'm sure he'll understand if you want to take a sick day'
Peter responded ' the avengers don't take sick days so neither does spiderman'
Ned just rolled his eyes and that was the end of the conversation.
Lunch finally finish and peter went in the direction of his last two classes.
He sent a text to Tony during his last class.
' Hey Mr.Stark, no need to send Happy to come get me. I'm just gonna swing to the tower.' it read. Tony replied a few minutes later.
' ive told you a thousand times you can call me tony. Anyway if you're positive that's what you want to do i'm not gonna stop you'
Peter knew he couldn't risk happy finding out he was sick.
When the last bell rang peter stumbled his way through the halls and out the exit by the ally. He changed into his suit and just like that he set off for the tower.
A voice echoed through the suit. "Master Parker, your temperature is a few degrees above normal. Should I notify Mr. Stark.
Peter managed to get out a soft no and karen did not ask anymore questions.
When peter made it to the tower, he was absolutely drained. Pepper was waiting for him at the door.
"Hello peter, it nice to see you again" she said. Peter nodded with a fake smile.
" tony is waiting for you with the others upstairs, let me take your bag and ill take you." pepper said.
When they made it up the stairs, peter saw natasha sparring with steve and clint was sparring with bucky. ' i guess im sparring with Mr. Stark' he thought.
" Hey there undroo, you look happy to be here" tony said sarcastically. Peter just gave him a shrug.
He began sparring with tony and tony immediately knew something was up.
"Hey kid, you doing okay" he asked. Peter just broke down right then and there.
" woah woah, hey you're okay" steve said coming from the other side of the room.
"what's wrong" natasha asked peter.
He tried to talk but nothing would come out.
"I'm going to go get pepper" clint said walking to the door.
"Friday, scan peter" tony said.
" peter's temperature is 102. He seems to have strep sir." friday replies.
"Damn kid, youre a mess" tony said to peter.
Peter began to cry again.
"Oh honey, youre okay. Lets get you to your room and get you laying down." pepper said coming in through the door.
Tony sat there in awe. Pepper was always better in these types of situations. She really knew what to do and how to take charge.
" clint go get a fluffy blanket, steve can you make some tea please, bucky can you run to the store and get some cough drops, tony go find the fever reducers you and bruce made for steve and peters metabolism, and natasha please help me get peter to bed." pepper barked her orders and everyone went to do what they were asked.
Pepper and natasha got peter settled into bed and everyone started coming back with their items one by one. After everyone left, tony texted may to tell her that Peter was sick and he would take care of him until he was better. He watched peter sleep because he honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't have any kids, so this was completely new territory. Peter started stirring in his sleep and tony got up to be next to him. Peter looked like he wanted to say something so tony gave him a note pad and pencil. Peter began to write then turned the notepad over.
'thank you for taking care of me Mr. Stark' it read.
Tony looked at the helpless teen with a smile.
"no problem spiderboy" he replied.
"But next time you're sick, just stay home" he added and with that peter slowly drifted back to sleep.
------------
I hope everyone likes this its my first sickfic so bare with me and please let me know what you think. I enjoy the feedback!
If you liked it please send me some request!
#peter parker sickfic#spider son#iron dad#spiderman#avengers#pepper potts#peter parker sickfics#sickfic
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 6 liveblog
"By Gelfling Hand...”
Huh. I fell off the watching wagon in September. Thats a long time. I’ve probably forgotten all the proper nouns.
Just a stream of thoughts.
So last time in Age of Resistance people finally dreamfast and the age of resisting finally starts. I can’t wait for the Gelfling Rey to show up and stop the one-note Kylan.
Rian has been captured, transferred from one Skeksis to another, and escapes after deciding that he’s not going to escape.
The All-Maudra is dead, long live All-Mauldra Seladon.
Wonder what will happen now, me too.
Deet, Hup, and Brea are under arrest. And now the General wants to drink them.
“These Gelfling have just the vigor we’re looking for. Throw them in. And their little podling too.”
C’mon, Var. Geez. C’mon. Geez. He’s tall for his age.
The only good thing about Skeksis deciding to drink you is that the crystal is all the way back at the castle and they’re not going to want to hurt you or else lessen the vigor.
I’m looking at that jail cell wheel and the gaps are totally big enough for Brea to get out of if she just tries.
Oh hey, Lore senses Brea in need and is leaving his chamber by the magic of bending over to fit through the doorway.
And coincidentally, Rian, Gurjin, Naia, and probably Kylan are all here and saw Brea et al get captured so now they’re going to have an exciting chase scene to try to save them.
-Seladon looking at throne like ‘oh shit oh fuck what have i done-
Pfft she sits on the throne just when Lore decides he wants to leave his horribly hidden chamber and bursts through it like the Kool-Ade Man
OH YEAH
Seladon didn’t even get to enjoy the throne in a conflicted way for more than five seconds. That’s amazing.
Ritual Master: “VAR GEEZ C’MON WHY DID YOU KILL THAT GELFLING GEEZ VAR GEEZ”
General: “The Emperor is forgiving”
Ritual Master: -sass- “Of course! If there’s one quality our Emperor is known for, it’s mercy.”
I never thought that the Ritual Master would be the voice of reason among the Skeksis but hot damn, I’m loving his tone.
Rian standing in the middle of the road like some kind of badass.
But the Rian ruse is a distraction.
Rian: “I heard you were looking for me”
General: ‘this fucking guy’
Rian: ‘Why don’t you come out and say that to my face’
Oh the General is just going to run Rian over with the cart. You can’t accuse him of not being pragmatic.
Ritual Master: ‘I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THIS!’
The rest of the team can’t get the back of the wheel cage open but thankfully Lore out of nowhere.
Lore Out of Nowhere is going to be the name of my band that just turns exposition dumps into songs. Once I learn how to sing, play an instrument, songwrite, or organize groups.
The Skeksis don’t know what Lore is but they’re both appalled and disgusted.
Huh. There are other Gelfling in the wheel cage instead of just protagonists. The paladins that the Skeksis were gathering for the ‘war.’ One can only imagine what they’re making of this.
Lore: -rips the wheel cage door off-
General: -squeaking a little in dismay- “My carriage!”
Oh the paladins are escaping too. I don’t know that they know whats even going on.
Ritual Master: -pokes head at cart to shake his fist and tell the kids to get off his lawn-
Lore: -stomps towards menacingly-
General: “We should escape without delay!”
Ritual Master: -sass- “At long last, you’ve had a good idea!”
And they swerve around Rian instead of running him over because he’s still just standing in the middle of the road like an idiot. Mighty courteous of the Skeksis or the pillbugs to not vehicular gelflingslaughter him.
Brea gives Rian a hug so Deet gives him a longer, lingering hug.
Pls no love triangle. Pls.
Paladins still not know shit start hubbubbing about how Rian is a traitor and a murderer.
Brea: ‘Nuh uh!’
Rian: “Everything the Skeksis ever told us was a lie. But its hard to recognize the light when you’ve spent your whole life in the dark.”
So clearly you should all get- yup Rian is like lets do a huge dreamfast circle.
And hey, good idea! He says afterwards they should spread throughout Thra dreamfasting with all gelfling to share the truth.
Paladin: “I will dreamfast with you!”
Another Paladin: “I will dreamfast with you!”
A third Paladin: “I’m Spartacus and so’s my wife!”
Oh, cool. Funeral for the Dead-Maudra. There’s a cool sounding tradition for the death of the All-Maudra. “The windsifters will deliver six pieces of her crown to six Maudras that they might come together to reassemble it and place it upon the brow of the new All-Maudra.”
That’s pretty neat. A ritual to restate the unity of the Gelfling clans and publicly endorse the new All-Maudra as legitimate.
I have a feeling that its not going to go to Seladon’s liking though.
Woo gelfling song.
Oh the windsifters are like. Batbirds.
I had been thinking that they were like a type of gelfling job, like couriers or something.
More gelfling beastmastery is nice too though.
Seladon: “Gelfling need an All-Maudra who won’t be swayed from the path set for us by the Lords of the Crystal. A beacon of light in these dark times. I shall be that All-Maudra.”
The, uh, librarian guy says that they should get around to the burial rites and return the Dead-Maudra to Thra but Seladon is going Creon from Antigone and saying that her mom isn’t going to get burial rites because she was a traitor. She is going to be cremated instead.
This is sure to endear Seladon to the Gelfling people who thought the All-Maudra was neat despite all evidence.
Librarian guy: “FOR SHAME!”
Seladon: “For Thra.”
Oh shit the Chamberlain limps into the Stone-in-Wood village after surviving that carriage crash last time and yells at everyone to bring him water and good and just generally do stuff for him. But the Gelfling all just kind of awkwardly shut their doors and ignore him.
And also throw stuff at him.
-Gelfling closes door-
Chamberlain: “I see you! I SEE YOU!”
Chamberlain: “How could you? I protect you! YOU OWE ME!”
Aw shit again, news of the Skeksis drinking people has spread here already and the Gelflings have no patience for Skeksis anymore.
And since Chamberlain keeps hanging around screaming instead of leaving, they start throwing rocks and fruit and possibly poo until he runs away.
Hey remember how you let Rian get away, Chamberlain? You goofed. You done goofed.
Scroll-Keeper: “The General and the Ritual Master have returned. ...Without the promised volunteers.”
Ornamentalist: -laughing- “The Emperor won’t liiiiike that!”
Scroll-Keeper: -chuckling- “No.”
-both start cackling-
I love how shitty the Skeksis are to each other.
Some of the promised volunteers that escaped somehow made it back to the castle BEFORE the General and Ritual Master and have been spreading the truth.
Oh, hm. So you can dreamfast with someone. But you can’t then dreamfast the memories you saw in a dreamfast. So the escaped tribute basically has to go ‘yeah but just trust me, I saw what I saw in the psychic vision with the guy who is supposedly has brain sick’
But a lot of things are added up.
The death of Mira. The weird sudden calling for volunteers. The death of the All-Maudra.
A guard: “Yes! Spread the word and gather arms. We take this castle this very night!”
I cherish your optimism, guy.
It’d be a huge blow against the Skeksis but it feels doomed to fail. Plus one of the guards wasn’t as enthusiastic about the idea as the others and is probably going to snitch.
Oh dang I was ready to say that none of the new landscapes really match up to the bubblegloop swamp from the movie but the sweeping view of the Crystal Desert was pretty beautiful, if not as lively.
Kylan, I think: “They say the sands never stop shifting. Crossing the desert on foot will be as easy as walking on water.”
That’s that good shit.
Naia: “Must you complain about everything?”
Gurjin: “Its not my fault that everything is terrible.”
I appreciate you, Gurjin.
Uh oh. It seems like everything has finally hit Brea and she’s having a melancholy moment.
Brea: “I keep thinking that if I turn my head fast enough, I’ll see my mother’s face. Or if I listen hard enough, I’ll hear her voice. .. But I won’t.”
Brea: “I should be there to bury her!” Ooooof. Bad news there, Brea.
Deet suggests that they do their own ceremony there and Brea says that would help.
Deet: “Thats what friends do. They help.”
Brea: -sad hug, sobs- “You’re a true friend!”
Aww.
(Support Conversation rank A. After the time skip, they will be married)
Archer Ur Ru carefully rolling up stuff in a leaf for eats.
Aughra: “LONG NECK THERE YOU ARE”
Archer: -spills his entire lunch, sighs-
So Aughra’s problem is that she understands the situation now and all the pieces on the board but not how everything is going to end. There are many possible outcomes and she’s got to try for the best one.
I’ll say that two gelflings left finally healing the crystal cannot have been the Golden Ending. Maybe try harder, Aughra.
Archer: -seeing where she’s going with this- “And where does my path lead?”
Aughra: “Into the sands to face the Hunter”
Archer: … -sighs- “I cannot defeat my dark half”
Aughra: “You will find a way. But not without sacrifice.”
Holy shit Aughra are you telling him to kill himself? That’s kinda dark.
I mean, Skeksis and Ur Ru are quantum linked or whatev. Archer could just. Injure himself to the point that the Hunter can’t leap and gambol about the treetops anymore. Or ask Aughra to.
Aughra: “Get a move on. You Mystics are not known for your swift speed.”
Geez, Aughra. You dump a task like this on a guy and then call him a slowpoke.
Archer: “Will we meet again?”
Aughra: -hesitates for like a minute- “Some things even Aughra cannot see.”
Archer: -sighs harder-
And then she’s off to Stone-in-the-Wood to prevent a terrible mistake apparently. Hope it wasn’t throwing produce at Chamberlain because ship sailed.
Rian: “Life and death are a circle… not a line. There is no end, no beginning. Today, our beloved All-Maudra has returned to Thra. Though we cannot be there to guide her essence home… we will sing her memory across the wind. I will bind your words into a dream-stitch. All those who find this seed will know her as you did. Speak for the dead. Share your best memory that we may all know her goodness.”
I don’t have snark. This is just a beautiful ritual.
Now Rian is having feelings about his dad.
Like I get he’s feeling like his father actually loved him because he died for him but. C’mon. I feel like we’re sweeping the bad parenting under the rug.
“I love you. Get out of bed.” Wow. The All-Maudra was something.
‘When I looked at her eyes as the light faded out of them I realized that ‘I love you’ actually meant ‘I love you’’
Hup is a good singer.
Rian, why are you and Deet staring at each other longingly across a funeral fire?
Seladon: “I loved you with all I had” -sets her mom’s body on fire- “I’m sorry it was not enough.”
Mm. This is some contrast. In rites.
Oh the dream-stitch is just like flying off into the sky. That’s neat.
OH THE MUTINY IS NOT GOING WELL AT ALL
Gourmand: “I hope you taste better than you fight”
GOD DAMN
Okay the Stonewood Maudra Fara has shown up to Ha’ra.
oh geeez
Maudra Fara revered the All-Maudra so hearing she was killed going against the Skeksis makes her go ‘cool imma avenge her’
Also, this: Maudra Fara: “Several of your paladins are travelling the land telling a different story.”
Seladon is handling this as a reasonable individual.
Fara: “You speak madness”
Seladon: “I SPEAK… as the All-Maudra.”
Chamberlain comes home and finds the castle in shambles. And Skeksis freely peeing and farting on everything.
Seems like they just go full slob when they don’t have to put on a good face for the Gelflings.
Chamberlain is pretty disgusted at how gross things have gotten since he’s been gone but he perks up when he thinks he’ll be able to curry favor with the Emperor.
But nope. The big wild party is still going on and the Skeksis are binging on essence and foods. So the Emperor is feeling pretty good.
Gourmand: “Don’t worry, we kept the podlings.”
Chamberlain has to be a buzzkill.
Chamberlain: “I bring terrible news! Cease all merrymaking!”
Emperor: “I see you standing there but no Rian. What do you have to say before I punish you for your continued FAILURE?”
Shouldn’t’ve interrupted his hedonism, Sil.
Chamberlain: -had fruits thrown at him-
Chamberlain: “I faced grave danger!”
Chamberlain tries to argue that hey the open and rising revolt by gelfling clans is a Bad Thing Actually but the Emperor is feeling too buzzed.
-everybody laughs in Chamberlain’s face-
Emperor: “The General set us free! Never again will the Skeksis have to bear the burden of pretending to care for these useless Gelfling.
But who will make your food or- oh right, they’re going to enslave the podlings.
General: ‘HEY I HAVE AN IDEA LETS DRINK ALL THE STONEWOOD’
Everyone: ‘WOO THE PARTY NEVER STOPS’
And then they make fun of how much the Chamberlain stinks because he had fruit thrown at him.
They’ve been peeing on the furnishing and they tell Chamberlain to go take a bath.
I’d feel bad for him but y’know.
OH SHIT TAVRA, THE COOL SISTER
OH SHIT SHE HASN’T HEARD ABOUT HER MOM
Tavra: “Then she died doing what she had to do. What she always did. Protecting Gelfling”
Ehhhhh, speak well of the dead I guess.
Ok so i guess the rest of the Maudra have shown up. Except Maudra of the Grot who just sent the piece of crown back. Its just too bright up there.
So the Grot, the Vapra, the Spriton, the Sifa, the Dousan all support Seladon’s inauguration but the Stonewood and Drenchen withhold.
This has apparently never happened.
Fara: “The All-Maudra has not always been a Vapra”
Fara: “A war is coming and Seladon is not the one to lead us”
Yup thought something adjacent to this would happen.
Seladon: “It was my mother’s crown. It belongs to me!”
Fara: “I would have followed her into a nest of spitters, but not you!”
gasp
Fara: “I challenge Seladon for the Living Crown”
Oh snap
“We cannot challenge the Skeksis!”
Fara: “They are few, we are many.”
The dramatic irony here is palpable.
Seladon: “Maudra Fara has invoked a challenge. It is her right to choose the nature”
Fara: “Trial by air”
-gasps-
A Maudra: “Tests and trials are the Skeksis ways, not ours!”
Apparently Seleadon is a contender being smart and careful but Fara is pretty confident.
Fara: “I will take no pleasure in besting you…. Childling.”
Wow Fara gonna condescend on top of it all.
And back to the desert.
The Dousan! The desert gelfling! Apparently they barely leave the desert and are forbidden from being castle guards for some reason!
He seems fun.
Dousan Guy: “To the great All. May the dead become one with Thra again. May we feel their tears in the rain. And their warmth in the suns. Though they are gone, they remain with us still.”
Brea: “That was beautiful.”
Dousan Guy: “But a trifle compared to your emotion.”
Oh they got the dream-stitch thing.
Ah. Reky’yr. Sandmaster.
Rek’yr is a smooth guy. He’s giving Brea a bone protection charm and offering to carry the group across the desert.
He’s the most helpful Gelfling they’ve met so far.
Oh. Until they mention they’re going to a place considered a cursed ruin and then he gets cold feet.
But Brea shames him into it by calling him a coward.
Brea: “You don’t trust Rek’yr?”
Rian: “Well for starters. He’s a Dousan.” Wow. Ok. Racist. “They’re obsessed with death!”
Brea: “They’re not obsessed.”
Rian: “HE GAVE YOU BONES”
I really hope Rian is proven wrong in his kneejerk suspicion.
And then Naia, Gurjin, and Kylan peace out to join the spreading the news group of the plot. They recognize that they’re secondary cast and there’s no room for them in this subplot.
BOLD GURJIN! THANK YOU RIAN YOU’VE DONE SOMETHING GOOD AND GIVEN HIM HIS ADJECTIVE!
Hunter: -spots the party on the flying thing- “So. The hunt continues.”
Okay so trial by air is like a flying race. And everyone telling Fara not to be afraid of Seladon because she’s just a child makes me think that its not going to be so easy.
And that Fara is going to be for a rude awakening.
Oh god. Seladon is late to the challenge because she’s been dressing Extra Extra. Like a Skeksis.
I really can’t overemphasize how Aesthetic Seladon has suddenly become.
And then she’s like ‘hey fara take the crown i don’t even want it its nasty’
Fara: ‘u wot m8’
Seladon: ‘Its cool i made a cooler, gother crown. Its much cooler.’
Fara is mighty pissed at this but Seladon just grabs her and throws her across the room and breaks the Living Crown with her.
Seladon: “Gelfling turning on Gelfling. We stand on the brink of anarchy. Bow before me, Maudra Fara. And together we will prove our loyalty to the Skeksis and snuff this fire before it burns us all.”
Fara: “As you burned your own mother.”
Damn Fara is good at burning Seladon.
And Seladon can only go ‘yeah well gtfo my city’
You know I was wondering how the trial by air would be portrayed. Flying gelfling is well within the special effects that they’ve already shown but a race would be different. But Seladon decided ‘screw that actually’
Ah well.
And then Fara and the Drenchan Maudra peace out.
And the other Maudras are like ‘geez Seladon geez’
Seladon: “And what will you three choose. Order or chaos?”
A Maudra: “This is not the gelfling way!”
Seladon: “It. Is. Now.”
Oh you three are going to bow? You cowards.
This is the Age of Resistance, not the Age of Follow Seladon She Has Some Good Ideas.
Well I thought that the clans were in revolt but it seems mostly just the Drenchen and the Stonewood. And standing alone against the Skeksis and the other clans is not going to go well for them.
In general, the feeling ‘oh we should definitely trust our autocratic overlords they know whats best’ has been panning out really bad.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
A smile to remember
Author: @sabine-leo
Chapter: 12 /?
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Special Guests: Benedict Cumberbatch & Chris Hemsworth
Note: This is a rather long chapter ...I couldn´t decide were to stop.
-Chapter 12-
The one with a treat and a tease
Tom disappeared of screen for a minute. You heard rustling and the light got dimmer. You started to get nervous. What did he have in mind? You wouldn´t put it past him to tease you and let Loki of his leash, as he had done sometimes while texting you. Getting restless you stood up. Walked to the couch with the tablet and tried to get a bit more comfortable.
Has it gotten even hotter inside your flat?
You were just discarding of your long-sleeved shirt as Tom climbed back on his bed. Your shirt was half way up, revealing the top you had underneath and a little bit of your stomach. But your face was covered for the moment. Tom laughed sexily low and teased.
“Oh darling, I see you are getting the hang of it now!”
Oh please, he couldn´t be serious. Glad your face was covered and he couldn´t see the expression of pure panic you made, you tried to calm yourself down and pulled the shirt of even slower.
“Be good, or I´ll kill the light!” you said as you looked at him with a somewhat stern look.
Tom laughed and ruffled his shorter hair.
“You know…I aim to please!” He retorted.
He was still bare-chested and only half covered. But the new addition was the notebook you had given him.
“Relax darling, I won´t do anything that would make you uncomfortable…tease you on the other hand, I would.” He winked at you and opened up the notebook.
“Please start to record now and get relaxed. Just listen…”
His voice, it was so deep and soothing and the real deep notes made you shiver.
You closed your eyes. “Yes, darling. Just like that” Tom soothed you even more before pausing a moment. You couldn´t see that he was watching you. With a smile on his striking face.
“Sonnet 116. by William Shakespeare“ he started calmly.
You couldn´t help but shiver. This was the Sonnet you had written in the book you´d given him.
It was one of your favourites.
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:”
Tom read the whole Sonnet and then looked at you.
He saw you had closed your eyes and had let the words and his voice carry you away.
He smiled and after a little pause read the second one…then the third.
And at last he added his favourite Sonnet. Somewhere in between you had opened your eyes and watched in awe as this handsome bare-chested man on the other side of the world read to you in bed. Tom closed the book and grinned a little self-conscious.
“You can turn of the recording darling. Now you have our favourite Sonnets to listen to…”
This was such a sweet gesture. You smiled and touched the screen in thank you.
“Thank you, Tom. Your voice does make Shakespeare even better.”
He laughed a little shy and tilted his head a notch. “Thank you. For being such a lovely friend. And thank you for looking after Dylan. You really didn´t have to do that.”
The both of you talked for some minutes more before Tom had to sign of and you went into your bedroom on tiptoes. Dylan was fast asleep. You got yourself ready in the bathroom and climbed into bed too. This day’s events had taken a toll on you too. You fell asleep in bare minutes.
The next morning Dylan was a bit homesick. You tried to help him get through the day and were glad that his Father called in the afternoon, telling Dylan that he´d be home later, bringing his mom home too. Sarah had her leg in plaster up to the hip, but was doing fine otherwise. They arrived to pick Dylan up in the evening. You had cooked a little meal for the 4 of you.
Sarah was in tears as she hugged you.
“Thank you (Y/N).”
“You don´t have to thank me, I´m just glad you are ok!”
You ate and talked. It was a very pleasant dinner.
Dylan somewhere in between declared: “I like sleepovers at (Y/N) she is my friend now, you know. Uncle Tom read us a bedtime story I think he is her friend too, but that’s ok we all can have more then one friend!” You all laughed and Sarah said, “That’s right Dylan, (Y/N) is our friend now too!” She clasped your hand and smiled at you.
As you walked them all out Sarah took a grinning look at the frame with Toms drawings but didn´t say anything. Dylan hugged you and waved his goodbyes out of the car. You cleaned up and got yourself a glass of wine when your cell vibrated.
>I so regret not recording your little striptease. How the shirt stuck over your head, blindfolding you…mhhmm this could give a man ideas…
Ah, so you were texting with Loki again. You laughed and typed back
<even Gods have to take a self-respecting woman out on some dates before that, but since you are in another realm…you are out of luck
>one day, my sweet little bird…one day
Loki was such a tease!
Another 2 weeks passed with you and Tom texting or occasionally facetiming each other. It always was easy-going with just a hint of teasing or flirting. But neither of you felt uncomfortable or uneasy. Quite the opposite, as time passed and you got to know each other better and you started to think that your friendship was here to stay. Not being in his physical presence made you almost believe the lie your mind was trying to enforce on your heart. But you couldn´t stop from smiling when a new text arrived, or when he´d be online and called you right after logging in.
At work everything was going smooth. And spring finally made it to London. You couldn´t wait to enjoy your 2 weeks off after finishing on Friday. Sarah and you had gotten to know each other a little better over a cup of tea here and then and your friendship with her was building slowly but steady. On Thursday as she was picking up Dylan, she had a little trouble with her new crutches but was so relieved to get rid of the wheelchair.
“(Y/N) would you like to come to dinner later? I do have a question I need to ask you.”
She told you as you were helping her.
“I´m off in an hour, but don´t trouble yourself making dinner I´m happy to just come over to talk!” She waved with her hand what nearly tilted her over. You caught her just in time.
“I swear I´ll break my other leg too if I can´t get a hang of this soon!” she fussed and hobbled to the door. “Then see you in a bit!” she said her goodbyes and was off with Dylan, who as his gentlemanly uncle would do was helping his mom and holding the door open for her.
You smiled at that sight and went on with your work.
On your way to Sarah´s home your phone battery died as you had forgotten to charge it last night. You weren´t too worried as you could plug it in later at home. Dylan opened the door for you motioning that he´d liked to be picked up by you.
“Hello (Y/N) can I show you my toys, I got a new one in the Livingroom.”
You picked him up and smiled at him.
“Of course, I will take a look.” But then Dylan made a face.
“But it´s not for girls…it´s a big truck, I think you proly…probable..por..probably don´t like it anyway.”
He wiggled to get down and ran further inside.
“We can´t just paint something later…I’ll go play with my truck on my own.”
You laughed and shook your head. “Hey Sarah!” You greeted her as you walked into the kitchen.
It smelled sooo good. “What are you cooking? And can I help?”
“No, already done. Come sit down next to me!” Sarah’s husband smirked as he filled 4 plates.
“You mean, what did I cook. Sarah is enjoying her leg a little too much, bossing me around in the kitchen.” Sarah laughed and looked at you. Can´t help it, watching him cook is sexy as hell!”
The 4 of you ate and it was really delicious. Soon Dylan took of again to play and Sarah and you went so sit in the garden for a while. “What I wanted to ask you…” She started. “…I know that it is interfering, but I…say yes please!”
You laughed quietly “I don´t even know the question yet!”
Sarah grinned. “Yes, but say yes anyway.” The look you gave her made her laugh loudly.
“Ok, now I know what Tom meant when he talked about your stern face.”
Tom and Sarah had talked about you? But before you could ask, Sarah preceded.
“I know my brother is about to ask, if you want to fly out to the wrap party. BUT, I want you to say no.” Ok, now you were totally confused.
“You wanted me to say yes, but now no?” You try to summarize.
“Yes!” Sarah grinned.
“Huh?” “(Y/N), I want you to say NO to Tom, but YES to me! Dylan and myself will fly out to see the last day of filming. Tom said Dylan can watch some child appropriate scenes and meat Thor and Captain America and who knows who on set. And frankly he would love that, but I would need help as my husband can´t come with us.”
You try to process it.
“So if Tom asks me to come to the wrap party I say I can´t and you are now asking me to come with you to…” Now it started to makes sense.
“You want to play the god of mischief!” You laughed a big laugh.
Sarah nodded and laughed “Try to think about his face when he sees you are there anyway. I know it´s bit unfair to you, but the pranks he played on me over the years really allow me to do something like that, belief me! …and he told me you´ve gotten good friends over the last month, so please, help me out to surprise him.”
The plan was made and the two of you confirmed the flight then and there.
As you got home and plugged in your phone you see 3 texts from Tom, asking if you where home and if he could call you. Knowing probably why he wanted to talk to you, thanks to Sarah, you logged in on your tablet and tried to keep a pokerface. It didn´t take long for Tom to call.
His handsome smile made your heart hold out its middle finger in salute to your mind. Take that suspicious thing! Your heartrate increased as he said “Hello Darling!” You smiled back at him and just waved a small wave in hello. Your voice probably would betray you anyways.
As you composed your self you asked “What´s so urgent? Something happened you need to tell me? Met a stunning warrior heroine you are off to great purpose with?”
He looked baffled for a moment but then laughed.
“No, I missed talking to you the last 3 days, so I thought I could give you a call….and….ask you a question?!”
You leaned back on the couch and smiled “Ask away, and I missed talking to you too!”
That had the effect that Tom smiled so unbelievably handsome that you missed 2 breaths.
“All right Darling. Here it comes. I want you to fly out and accompany me to the wrap party. Everybody brings friends and family and I can´t think of anyone I’d rather have here with me then you. I know you have 2 weeks of…So.. please say yes!”
His statement and his boyish hopeful look made you almost break your promise to Sarah. Almost. “That is so sweet of you Tom, but my vacation got cancelled.” You could almost feel his joy fading away. “Oh..” he answered and it made your heart sink a bit. You didn´t like to lie to him at all, but you hoped he would forgive you when he saw you. You talked a bit more and tried to lighten the mood. He fussed for a bit but talked about how he enjoyed filming with his friends again.
You said your goodbyes as Tom had to leave for set “…and I think there will always be another wrap party.. the next time I ask you, you are NOT allowed to say no darling!”
You laughed and promised him a yes. Hopefully Sarah was right, and he would be happy to see you.
Your first 2 free days were packed with shopping and getting ready to leave for Australia.
You were nervous and the prospect of seeing Tom in person again made you twitchy. But Dylan and Sarah made the long journey pleasant and short-lived. After arriving at the hotel, you unpacked and had a little nap and then some. The next day Sarah and Dylan were taken to the set. Dylan was all in and pledged to hold his mouth shut over you being there and surprisingly enough he stayed true to his word. Probably to excited to meet real superheros.
As the evening came it was time for you to get ready. Sarah had arranged a sleep over for Dylan with Chris Hemsworth kids and they were having a party on their own. You were just done with your hair and makeup as a knock sounded on your door. “Ready?” Sarah asked as you opened it. She looked so beautiful in a glittery top and long flowy skirt hiding the cast.
“I don´t know, you sure I should wear this? “ You asked a little jittery.
This black neckholder jumpsuit was fitting your curves, but the back was cut out and waterfalled it´s way down your sides to were the trousers started. It was modest enough in the front, but sexy in the back. “Are you kidding me, you look awesome” Sarah said as you turned for her like she wanted you to. “Come pretty lady, we are going to pull a leg on Loki!”
That made you laugh and close the hotelroom door with a last sigh in hope that the evening would be a pleasant one. So many stars under one roof. You didn´t know how you would fit in.
The party was in the hotel garden. The pool area and a big ballroom had been decorated in the most stylish way you´d ever seen. A red carpet let to the entrance after you passed security and a check that you were allowed to move forward. The sun was just about to set and you couldn´t imagine how good this would look when it got dark. Even in twilight it was rendering you speechless.
Music was getting louder as you helped Sarah along with her crutches and stopped for her to catch her breath. 2 loud voices came nearer from behind you.
“Sarah!! Oh Dear, Ben, come on let’s help her out!”
You were stunned into silence as suddenly Benedict Cumberbatch and Chris Hemsworth stood in front of you.
“Hi, I´m Chris, this is Ben!” They greeted you and hugged Sarah.
“Hey boys, this is (Y/N)”
“(Y/N)?” Ben asked.
“The (Y/N)? Tom told me she couldn´t come cause her vacation got cancelled.”
Sarah laughed mischievous.
“Yeah, I can´t wait to see the look on his face!”
Both men laughed boomingly and grinned at you.
“Let us help you to make an entrance!” They looked at each other and nodded then took a crutch each out of Sarah’s hand and hoisted her up to carry her in. Sarah laughed giddily.
“Stay close behind us, he won´t see you that way” You could only nod, hoping that your speech would return somewhen along the evening.
Ben and Chris carried Sarah as if she weights nothing. Laughing to each other and stopping just inside the venue where the reception was held before the party got off for real.
“Hey Hiddleston! We´ve got you a wrap present!” Chris boomed.
“And one to unwrap behind us.” Ben added silently making Sarah almost laugh tears.
Tom turned around and laughed “Ehehehe!” Sarah was standing on her own feet again and hobbled over. Tom meeting her half way. They hugged and said their hellos. You were still behind those 2 men who were having more fun then a child on Christmas. Tom started to help Sarah get over to a chair when Chris cleared his throat.
“What are you doing Tom? I said we got you a present!”
Tom stopped, a bit bewildered he turned again
“Oh...where are my manners. Thank you for helping my sister…”
As he spoke Ben and Chris both took a step to the side to reveal you standing behind them.
Tags as asked for : @theoneanna @shegatsby @wabisabigrl @everything-is-awesomesauce @drakesfiance @spoopyfoxxtropical @yokaimoon
If you got ideas on what you´d like in this story just let me know :)
THANK YOU for reading!!!
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x reader#hiddelstoners#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston imagine#you x tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x you#special guest#benedict cumberbatch#chris hemsworth#tom hiddleston fluff#fluff humor#romance#hiddles#Damn Hiddleston#cute tom
126 notes
·
View notes
Text
❝ ----------- 𝖆 𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖆 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊
illya masnik. luke hemmings. twenty four. bianchi aligned.
【 ✞ ———— 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 】
◟ * ◊ ─ luke hemmings + cis male + he/him » * believe it or not illya masnik is working for the bianchi family. they are 24 years of age and are known to usually spend their time around buena vista apartments. the singer, who has been a part of the alliance for 2 years, has been living in victoria for 5 years. the people closest to them describe the pansexual + pisces to be + stolid and + conscientious as well as - equivocal and -resentful » ◦ ° delphi, twenty, she/them, est◝
【 ✞ ———— 𝕠𝕠𝕔 】
first name illya. last name masnik. middle name regret. which,, honestly same. wow hi i’m super excited for this. this is what ive been waiting for and y’all look hella talented. hi hello i’m delphi and as expected i’m late to the party :’) this is my bb illya who should probably be dead by now. yeehaw. my muses??? they exist to suffer. thats the sparknotes version of it. but ill put a whole unnecessarily lengthy thing about him below sdlkjsald. i’m in the est and i’m currently working full time but im so happy opening is on a sunday because i can actually be here for it sjkdas but enough about meme !!
【 ✞ ———— 𝕙𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 】
BORN IN KIEV, UKRAINE - illya would be the eldest of four children. his mother an adventurous american woman, and his father a man who had never left his homeland. their son was a happy child who spent most of his days and nights at the local church. a fate one could not avoid when their father was the church’s ever dutiful music director. it shocked no one when the eldest masnik boy soon became a constant fixture in the youth choir. looking like he may have found his niche, his parents pushed him to hone his talents. his free time not spent in worship was reserved for vocal lessons. in time, illya outgrew the pews. as a teenager, he instead chose to perform in festivals, cafes, and the venues that would have him. while he was successful in ukraine, he’d soon decided he’d like to finish his studies in the united states, believing there to be better and bigger opportunities in america.
AT NINETEEN - he found a home in victoria, florida. his mother’s hometown. his studies never truly panned out like they should have, wasting a year majoring in theology before officially throwing in the towel and returning to music full time. the next few years were spent building up a resume. odd jobs that barely paid the bills. things only began to turn up when he began landing jobs as the backing vocals for groups. it had started small, not much money in it nor recognition --- but he slowly climbed the ladder. an undeniable talent. in time he landed a job as the backup vocals for a band famous enough to earn him some status. the band embarked on a small tour around the states, and while it had been fun, illya quickly came to realize it wasn’t the life for him. in actuality it was not the spotlight he desired, no, he’d come to miss the little things about his passion. the smaller cafes and venues often led to tighter bonds. a more humbling experience that allowed him to truly connect with his audience. like the days back home, under god’s watchful eye.
TWENTY TWO - and life as he knows it ends. for better or for worse. a flame in his life plants the idea in his head. the bills were starting to pile up again and desperation seemed to be a constant state. PLAYERS. it’s no place he’d normally be found. the sort of joint he’d sooner cross the street to avoid. but his lover promises security. stability. burdened with a touch of naivety, he’s sold.
PLEAD IGNORANCE - all he wants. he knew what he’d stepped into the moment he crossed the door’s threshold. there were no gods here. no savior. no salvation. you’d be eaten alive.
IT PAYS - wasn’t that all that mattered. most days he’s good at turning a blind eye to what happens behind closed doors. a false picture of innocence. skin with no traces of ink or metal, liquor that never makes it to his lips. the constant struggle to not lose the boy he was back home. but no one there was innocent, innocence was a lamb to the slaughter. two years in and he regrets it. of course he does. three long years since he’s seen his family. the masnik’s youngest now refuses to speak to the long-departed illya. birthdays, graduations, holidays, funerals, he’s missed them all. bitter, he longs for home, but fears he’s found himself in too deep. innocence was a lamb to the slaughter, and he could not afford to be the lamb amongst wolves.
【 ✞ ———— 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤 / 𝕕𝕦𝕞𝕓 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥 】
essentially illya was born in ukraine. his family was super religious and he spent a lot of time in church, also due to the fact his father was the music director there. he obviously had a natural talent in the choir and his family helped him pursue music by getting him lessons and stuff. he does a good handful of cool stuff in ukraine and decides he wants to study in america ( where his mother and her family are from ) and also sees it as an opportunity to grow musically. obviously the scene in america is pretty hard to get into, so he still does small cafe like things until he starts doing backing tracks/vocals for bands. starts off really small but he starts to work for bigger bands/companies until eventually, he gets enough recognition to go on tour with a well-enough known band. don’t imagine them to be super famous, but enough to have a handful of radio hits.
decides he’s not crazy about the touring band life and wants to return to working in smaller more personal venues. works for a bit until the money starts to run out and then his partner at the time suggested applying at players ( they would have been part of the gang so it was his in ). he does so ( obviously ) gets in and likes to play innocent but he has a pretty good idea of what he’s getting into, don’t be fooled. still kind of churchy / anal, doesn’t do the whole tattoo, piercing, drinking, wild life. he’s more reserved if anything. he’s really still trying to hold on to that holy life. newsflash, asshole. it’s gone.
now he’s starting to regret everything :) #somerugrats but obviously, he’s going to be super tightlipped about that and just carry on. in reality, he’s super homesick and he knows his family life is suffering. he’s missing giant milestones for his siblings back home and now his youngest brother won’t even talk to him so yeehaw. but uhh he’s not really sure he’d be good to just up and walk away because he’s in a bit deep now, two years deep. he’s probably seen some shit.
if he was brave enough to tell his family something was up it would probably go something along the lines of “ mom, i think i joined a cult ”
he wants to be that peace out gif THIS one,, yeah
he’s gonna die,, dumbass is 100% gonna get himself killed. but for now, he’s gonna fake that shit till he makes it. no chill.
【 ✞ ———— 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 】
pen pals / old friends ; okay since his mother was american - i’d imagine he’d come around as a kid to see her family ( his grandparents and stuff ). give me something cute like they hit it off as children and kept in touch all these years. or maybe his mom used to be friends with your muses parents so they met that way.
someone toughen him up ; he’s awful. there’s a murderer out there and god i hope these string bean legs can run because self-defense???? we don't’ know the meaning of the word. gun?? not in my good christian server. someone just hELP him.
someone he takes home / travels with ; head out of the gutter. could be someone at players or they live in a similar location, and with a string of murders, it’s probably safer to not travel alone. so maybe they drive each other home on occasion or walk together. just keeping each other safe.
bad / good influence nonsense ; obviously he’d probably be the good influence on someone because he’s not really the bad type. so he might try to look out for someone he really sees burning out and going down a super bad path. vice versa, give me someone who really wants him to get a tattoo or take that shot. someone remind him to live a little or do bad things. honestly,,, i’m a sucker for angst and stuff so it could even be more like getting him to stop being so paranoid about the darker aspects of the gang. if you think he isn’t turning around and hauling ass outta there when he sees a back room being used for beating someone or some other violent nonsense
someone who is suspicious of his doubts ; obviously he’s trying to play his cards pretty close to his chest and doesn’t voice his concerns to anyone. but i’d love to see some people who question his hesitance or might be on to him having doubts about continuing to be in the gang. he’s not going to own up to any accusations but this could add some interesting tension and make for interesting interactions.
people he avoids at all costs / fear ; these would be the more violent members of the gangs. maybe your muse has a reputation. this is probably suitable for characters who are out there committing murder in the name of the gang or commit violent acts. he tries to steer pretty clear of that but they’re likely passing through players and stuff. they’re bound to run into each other. bonus points if they’re not actually as dangerous as they seem - illya’s just paranoid, maybe he walked in on something he shouldn’t have and i- OOP
the flame that got him involved in the gang ( 0 / 1 ) ; really i was just gonna throw this up as a wc but sdjsadj ill stick it here as well. really this could be an exes plot, probably with a lot of resentment on illya’s part. he may have been open with them about wanting to go back home, and blames them for his situation even though he knew what was happening. its just bitter bitter bitter.
#i went to the store halfway through this#im a fucking idiot#who let me out of my cage#this isnt going to show up because this is a new blog yeet#victoireintro#i actually dont think there's any triggers in this wow how pg-13 of me#death tw#drinking tw#like mildly just about nonexistent#violence tw#just to be safe but v brief mentions#in passing#10$ says i forgot to add something to this#now i need to read ALL the intros
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feisty 2
Warnings: Violence? Swearing grammar punctuation and spelling mistakes
Summary: so uh here’s the thing I suck at summary’s so just read
Enjoy
———————————————————————
You have been living with the Winchester’s for about a month now...
The asshat actually made you go to school. You signed up at the office with Sam and started in a week. One week to make it so you didn’t have to go. As soon as you got back to the bunker you went to the bathroom and grabbed the hunters first aid hit. It had salt a lighter dental floss, cotton balls, guaze, rubbing alcohol and a pack of sewing needles. You grabbed it and went to your room. It was simple just a bed with green sheets, obviously cement walls and a black rug on the floor. You went to your wall where a mirror hung. You sterilized the needle with the lighter and counted to three. You shoved the needle through your septum and before you pushed it all the way through you went to your dresser that was up against the far wall and grabbed the nose jewelry you stole the last time you went on a run with Sam. Putting the pericing in was as painful as 99 paper cuts. You cleaned it with a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol. Putting everything away you got out you grabbed your makeup- that you also swiped when Dean took you to the closet mall for clothes shopping. You drew on eyeliner and put on mascara. You did one final look in the mirror and went to talk the the boys.
“Hey Y/N I was wondering- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?” Dean pointed to your face and screamed like a 12 year old girl who saw a spider.
“Its makeup dipshit.” Sam cam up behind you holding a plate of food. Most likely for Dean consider the guy can barely take care of himself. As you turned to look at him Dean started talking again.
“Sammy! Tell her no! She isn’t aloud to where that shit and she punched a fucking hole in her nose!! Tell her to take it out!” Sam looked mildly horrified as he set the plate on the library table.
“Y/N.. why did you perice your nose?”
“I wanted to.” You shrugged and started to walk to the map room. Dean moves around you so he blocked your way.
“Too young- you are too young!” He shouted. Now you had a full on shit eating grin.
“I’m 16 smartass.” You remarked.
“Okay okay! Calm down, Dean she is just expressing herself through makeup. It not a huge deal.” Sam spoke.
“She.Has.A.Hole.In.Her.Face!!!”
“Awe Dean just listen to Sammy. It’s not a big deal.” You walked back to your room and sat there with a giant grin of your face. Step one is done.
A couple days later with only five more days to go to school you decided to take the next step. At night you researched cases and beasts you thought to be mystical. You had learned enough to know that a couple states over there was a werewolf case. All victims found with hearts gone. So the next morning you put your plan in action.
“Dean.... I’m boredddd.” You said while sitting at the map table as he researched a monster that was causing people to die prematurely.
“Not my problem Y/N.” He said not even looking up from the lore book.
“Hey Sam did you know there is a werewolf case about a days drive away.” He almost choked on his coffee.
“How do you know what a werewolf case looks like?” Dean eyes were glowing with anger.
“There are tons of books and files on them here. I wanna go kill it. Will you take me?” You said not even offering a glance at Dean.
“No. You will it go on hunts. The most you will ever do is read about them. Are we clear?” Dean said looking you strait in the eyes.
“Oh come on-“
“He’s right Y/N. You won’t go on a hunt. Ever. As long as we are here you will not.” Sam stood and left the room.
Dean wasn’t looking at you anymore he was looking through you with a sad expression on his face.
“I’m still bored.” He again looked at you and had a ghost of a smile.
Part three was the hardest and probably the one that would work though. You had been talking to another hunters son. Sam has gone on a hunt and needed information about the thing. The boy called to get the information from Dean but you picked up instead. Now you guys have been texting.
You sat in the kitchen with a sandwich in front of you. Your phone facing up and getting texts from Joel. The case had ended about a day ago and Sam was home. Joel was sweet but just wasn’t your type. As Sam walked in he sat down across from you with a beer.
“Hey so Y/N Dean and I were talking and-*ding*.” Your phone went off. Then again and again. Finally Sam took it and looked at the texts.
“What the hell Y/N.” Sam set your phone down and rubbed his forehead.
“What?” You took your phone and put it in your pocket.
“Dean is going to have a heart attack.”
“Just don’t tell him.”
“Actually I came In here to talk to you about something.. Dean and I have talked about you meeting some uh people.” Confused you took a defensive stance.
“And what does that mean Samuel?”
“We have some friends that are away right now, in fact they are also helping Dean.. they are going to come here in about an hour..” deciding to take it a step further you reasponded.
“Is one cute? Or maybe hot? Like what do they look like. How big are his hands? You know what they say Sammy big hands- big feet big-“
“DONT FINISH THAT.”
He got up with his beer and left. So Dean would be home in an hour or so with the guets and you needed to up the anti. In your room you put on the shortest pair of short you had, a tight shirt with a flannel unbottend and just put on your same old shoes.
You applied heavy eyeliner and mascara and put on your worst attitude. Now this would surly delay school for at least a couple more days.
As Dean came in through the heavy door you waited in the libary with the very phone the boys gave you while texting Joel. He was getting flirty and you grew impatient. Sam and Dean called you into the map room and you gladly got up to go. You texted Joel back and put the phone in your pocket. You pulled up your shorts a bit and went to great the guets. There was a guy wearing a trench coat and another wearing jeans and a green jacket. As you sat in a chair of the map room you put your feet up on the table.
“What the hell are you wearing?!”
“Oh you know a flannel.”
“No not that those.” He pointed to your shorts and the two men also looked confused.
“What do you mean?” The sickingly sweet voice almost drove yourself crazy.
“THATS IT!” Dean hit the table and you flinched. Sam saw but was to concerned about the high tension in the room.
“YOU WALK AROUND HERE LIKE THE WORLD OWES YOU SOMETHING! YOU THINK THAT GIVING YOU A PLACE TO STAY AND FOOD WAS ENOUGH BUT APPARENTLY NOT! SO TELL ME Y/N WHAT ELS DO YOU WANT?!” Shock ran hot through your body. So you did what you do best and hide it with attitude.
“Stop trying to be my dad I have a dad!!” You stood as you yelled.
“Oh yeah because he cared so much about you! He used you as a punching bag! He didn’t love you Y/N!” You stepped back. The words sinking in and sadness taking over. The room got so quite, but the air was as thick as a war zone. You made yourself look at Dean through you tears and quite crying.
“I don’t need you. I could leave and just go. Maybe go back home. They wanted me at least.” You turn to pack your shit but again he had to open his trap.
“They didn’t need you Y/N the used you.” You turned on your heel and ran to him smaking him across the face. You made a fist and hit him in the chest. He backed away but you continued your outburst. You hit shoved and smacked him. Finally Sam grabbed you from behind and lifted you away from Dean.
“DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THEY DIDN’T WANT ME!” You struggled against Sam and yearned to knock the daylights out of the elder Winchester.
“CAS!” Sam’s voice echoed. You paid him no mind though. You were full on crying and scratching at his arms so you could get back to Dean. Cas walked in front of your veiw and raised to fingers. Then all went black.
TIME SKIP
You woke up in your bed your shoes were off and you were covered with a blanket. You rolled over and started to cry. You cluched your stomach and started to rock. Grabbing the blanket and put it to your face. Covering your mouth and nose to try and silence the sobbing. You layed back down and continued rocking and crying.
*In the kitchen*
“I don’t know Dean but maybe you should try and talk to her.”
“No. She obviously doesn’t want to talk.” His face was bruising already and had cut on his lip. Sam has bled a bit from you scratching at his arms.
“Dean-“
“What Cas?”
“She is awake.” The brothers looked at each other. Sam stood and followed Dean down the hall.
*in your room*
You heard the echo of the footsteps and you covered your head with the blanket. Your door opened and you tried to dry your eyes.
“Hey Y/N?” Sam spoke
“Get out.” You voice sounded weak and you hated it.
“No you can’t do that! Not again just -damn it- talk to us!” Dean pulled your blanket off of you and you curled into a ball.
“What do you want? Why can’t you just leave me? Why didn’t you just take me to a bus station?” Again the tears started and Sam sat down on your bed. He put his hand on your arm. You cried harder.
“Why Y/N why are you acting like this?” You sat up and wiped your face.
“The last time I went to school was when I snuck out of my house to go. When my father found out he dragged me home and beat me til I passed out. When I woke up he told me he loved me and that I needed to follow his rules. I was in 7th grade. 7th grade! So yeah I have been acting up! But I can’t go to high school I don’t know shit!” Dam sat down on your bed while Dean chose to stand. Sam put his hand on your arm.
“Look Y/N enough is enough. No more acting out like this. For now until we find another way to get you an education you don’t have to go to public school.” You nodded unable to show much more emotion.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Dam nodded but Dean let out a laugh.
“Oh Y/N if you think a little attitude would drive us off you are wrong. More wrong than sauce on a steak.” Sam laughed at the comment and you let a grin show.
After about 30 min you left your room to shower. You grabbed your towel but completely forgetting clothes. It was too late once you realized this. You were already done with showering and had the towel wrapped tight around your body. The bunker was big there was hardly a chance you would run into someone. Wrong. About halfway to your room you ran smack into the guy from earlier. His hair blonde and eyes brilliant.
“I uh I’m sorry I didn’t see you!” He apologized profusely.
“I’m Y/N.” You put on a fake confident smile.
“I uh I’m Jack.” This time you have him a genuine smile. You walked around him still clutching your towel. As you arrived in your room butterflies became prominent. He was flat out delicious.
Part 3???
Jack x reader???
FEEDBACK IS THE BEST FORM OF EXPRESSION!!!!
#fanfic#fanfiction#supernatural#let me know#series#dean winchester#sam x reader#sam winchester#dean x reader#jack x reader#writing#reader insert#fiesty#fiesty part 2#sam x sister reader#dean x sister!reader#sam x sister!reader#dean x sister reader
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i tried some other boygroups last night because i was really glad that i checked out bts to see for myself what they were really like, but idk, i feel like bts breaks the mold, ESPECIALLY with songs like idol, it doesnt even sound like kpop. i mean, of course it doesnt, it sounds like a south african dance track with elements of hiphop and shouts in the chorus from traditional korean storytelling. wild. nobody else did that. so yeah idk i only tried the first youtube result for 5 or 6 boygroups, just to get a feel for them, and like there werent any i felt were god-awful, but there werent any that really grabbed my attention either. idk, that’s true of a lot of girl groups i tried too, but at this point im so far down the girlgroup rabbithole that of course im gonna be encountering ones that didnt quite catch on. like, i took the first couple boygroups that i could think of and listened to those and wasn’t too impressed, whereas if i took the first couple girlgroups that came to mind i would be. i know because i was when i first heard them lol. like, comparing sf9, nct, exo, etc with red velvet, izone, even blackpink (for as much as i give it shit, kill this love took some real risks. in my personal opinion i dont think the risks paid off, but still)... and thats not even mentioning loona lol... idk, im not gonna like try to say boygroups are bad, it’s just that i find that girlgroup songs often are in a style that appeals to me a lot more. its not just that i like the members more or whatever lol, i’m bi lol it has nothing to do with attraction or whatever. even just based on absolute first impressions alone, girlgroups seem to vary more, even within their title tracks, which are usually the most formulaic (cause they have to appeal to the most people). as i said, bts in 2018-19 is something of an exception, they’ve kind of transcended kpop anyway, but if i compared one of their early songs, they’d fit the type of thing i’m talking about.
boygroups seem like western boybands a lot of the time, theyre about seeming tough and/or sensitive, usually both at the same time. girlgroups are often about being cute and bubbly or being powerful and “bad-bitch” and stuff, but the way they achieve those aesthetics musically is more interesting to me than the boyband tough-and-sensitive musical aesthetic. a song like DKDK by Fromis 9 isnt as hard hitting as a song like Enough by SF9 (i only chose these two for the 9 lol), but its............. better............. catchier......... weirder.......... makes me happier.............. idk maybe im just not a fan of brooding lol, i like goofiness. even within music that goes hard as fuck, i dont like if its just brooding, i want you to be going WILD like CLC’s Hobgoblin does lol. I want the sound of the song to beat me up, even if I wasnt watching the video. and like in hiphop (which i think boygroups might trend more towards) i like when people are fuckin leaping around the stage or set, rapping their heads off. like BTS’s Idol, but also like the american rappers I listen to, like Jpegmafia and Danny Brown and shit. I know that’s a tall order to expect that kind of performance from kpop, but not because kpop cant do it, its just that they might avoid being too abrasive in their title tracks (maybe bsides would be like that?). but idk, some girlgroup title tracks are wild and kind of abrasive... so...
and like, sure some girlgroups focus on looking cool or sexy or cute or whatever, but i often feel like there’s more to the aesthetic than that, though maybe that’s just the stuff i listen to. I haven’t found a major boygroup who makes videos like red velvet does lol... (except bts)
anyway this is a ramble
if you disagree and have examples please let me know! i want to be wrong about this! the six songs i checked out and wasnt impressed by were “enough” by sf9, “wakey wakey” by nct, “crown” by txt, “love shot” by exo, “spring breeze” by wanna one, and “say my name” by ateez. not to repeat myself too much but lemme pick six of the biggest girlgroups and list their first youtube result just to demonstrate the difference in style. “kill this love” by blackpink, “really bad boy” by red velvet, “butterfly” by loona, “violeta” by izone, “dalla dalla” by itzy, “bon bon chocolat” by everglow. i mean... like... idk all those songs are weird. rbb is actually one of red velvet’s less weird songs lol, but still. shrug. and those are just six recent 2019 ones.
uh yeah but anyway if you know of some weird stuff or wanna lmk about another song from one of those boygroups that i’d like more, or you have something to say about those songs that i might not have picked up on, let me know! i like liking music more than i like disliking music, so i’d love to change my mind haha, i wanna like as much stuff as possible.
edit: rbb wasnt 2019, my bad, but it was november 30th so still, all these songs have been within the last five months and theyre all more interesting to me than the bg songs i listed.
#also idk like i know shinee is listed as one of the best but uh theres a couple reasons i havent tried them much#im not gonna get into it right now... i just think that would take a lot of mental preparation for.... personal reasons
1 note
·
View note
Photo
merry christmas, diana!
surprise! im ur secret santa! im sorry! this is a really lame gift and i was gonna send you something, but u know? plans change, people change. and i was thinking like? if im being honest? i was being too ambitious thinking that i was gonna send you something like i still have the gift i bought you for your birthday (LAST YEAR! IT’S NOT EVEN FROM THIS YEAR! IT’S FROM LAST YEAR!) and like? me? shipping things out? in a box? going to the mail service place? me? when i dont even have a license to go myself? i’ve had a note in my phone where it has your address saved and telling me to ship out your gift but literally? where is the gift? in my closet. and i thought “wow i can ship her something i buy from amazon and just ship it to her house!” but then i was like? bitch if u do that then what about her physical gift? are u just gonna buy it twice? waste ur money like that bc ur a dumb ass who cant go to the mail service that ships things? dumb. anyways i don’t really know where i was going with that i feel like i had a plan but after typing all that i kinda forgot so aha x moving on!
under the cut is ur letter xx
diana, diana, diana. our one and only libra, ½ of the goblin sisters (theres 7 of us but like. u and xan are the only ones like BLOOD blood related to each other but we’re all like. blood sisters still bc we upgraded to a cult earlier this year), the og pink aesthetic (i say og bc tien always tried to steal ur aesthetic in ur absence), miss immortal emo goffix herself, the most likely to become instagram famous, a tru sailor moon fan (sailor venus thats u), the gaming sister, an actual crackhead, most likely to get a sugar daddy first, backseat/car survivor, and the goblins resident fashionista w the fits!
merry christmas and happy new years! or late christmas and new years because we’re sharing this jan 5th?? either way im sorry this is such a lame gift i was gonna do what i usually do which is a set with 10 favs, but i know lana is ur ult og so i was just like?? ill make her a lana set that’s kinda aesthetic but u kno aesthetics r hard idk how u do it like. i see the series u make n im just in awe like ! o she’s TALENTED talented! ugh we STAN! im forever grateful that ur in my life and that we got together 4/5 years ago. i dont express it much but i love u so much and im so so grateful for u. ur kind sweet funny SMART! understanding daring n v witty/sassy/idk what word to use???? i love seeing ur pics on insta and ur vlogs in the snapchat group chat. i see pink n i just think of u bc pink really is u n ur color like i just associate that color w u now. and lana like i see lana n i see u. i love seeing how passionate u get over certain things and ranting w u whenever the goblins choose to rant about something (especially political rants) r always my favorite bc we can just talk n let it out n hearing what u have to say is so interesting n cool bc wow ur so young but ur so involved like i remember when u helped do that campaign thingy for (bernie? i think? idk i just remember u passing something out but its still involvement!) and u also care so much like! LOVE that STAN that! idk what ive mentioned bc im forgetting while i write this but! i know u dont open up alot bc ur a libra n thats how u r naturally but know that im grateful n happy whenever u do choose to open up n its ok that u dont open up often like! we can wait whenever u ready n comfy to tell us u know bc its always gonna b ur own choice when u wanna tell us something n we’re always gonna wanna kno n hear when ur ready! we stan a private queen who lets us know when she wants stan understanding privacy bc thats allowed! always!
since i couldn’t ship u a present like i wanted because im a dumb bitch who still hasnt sent in yout 18th birthday present, heres a pinterest board made just for u. in the like. non section area is just the general aesthetic i have in my mind for u which is literally just pink and glitter. n theres like a pic of a knife in pink n i think thats u bc u know. pink n girly but also edgy n could cut a bitch if needed u feel? n then i added sections of ur favs and ill update the pinterest every now n then n u can look back if u ever feel like it u kno? the board will always b up for u love u
i think im just rambling at this point but basically i love u sm and all the memories we’ve made in the past 4/5 years from the night goblin calls/chats to the many rps we’ve been together in to the minecraft days and BOTH of us suffering bc aye and tien dont know how to NOT kill each other and since we always end up rooming w the killers its our stuff that gets destroyed too like. u n me r just tryna have cute rooms n w the aesthetics but literally aye n tien just wanna play w lava INSIDE n ugh rip us for suffering we really r done dirty huh. anyways love u so much im sorry for such a lame gift difosjdfiosd i love u im sorry love u love u love u i hope ur 2019 is filled with love and gratitude n happiness and u can end the year feeling satisfied. im here for u always even if i dont express it all the time n im always rooting for u n ill always b on ur side always ok love u infinitely long time no going back xx
i just remembered this out of no where but also love u so much thanks for being a rich bitch with me like… ur a fashionista irl and online and im only a fashionista online but wow…. us on imvu were so iconic.. the rich bitches ugh LOVE that for us love u thats its i really hope i remember to unprivate the pinterest board n link it here before we post wow love u so much thank u for relating to the thirst thing w u kiss kiss
1 note
·
View note
Text
That's the thing, we don't say anything
Roof hummed as she ran her fingers through Lily's hair, watching raindrops fell down the window. A roar echoed through the house as lightning streaked across the sky.
It was a long night, with Sleepy and Gummy refusing to go to sleep, wanting to stay up to watch the storm. Bop had taken an hour to console into sleeping, with Lily finally giving up and putting the young god to sleep via spell. Rose, Izzy and Spider were asleep when they finally got bop to sleep so the only other person to get to bed was Eye but they just let him chill in his room.
Roof sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch, listening to the rain as Lily slept.
She jerked up, feeling a tug at the back of her head.
Something was at the border.
Roof silently lifted Lily up, gently lowering her down on the couch and covered her with a blanket.
She silently walked out of the room, walking into her own. Grabbing her armour, weapons and rain gear, she opened the front door and locked it.
The rain came down in sheets, hiding her from sight and smell as Roof silently walked through the trees and cresting the hill. She crept up over the hill, her ears twitching as she looked down at the intruders of her home.
Green banners with Oleander embroidered in dark purple cast shadows against the grey sky, with small embers of fires outlining the sea of tents. Lanterns highlight the leaders' tents while disant sound of dragon's roaring against the thunder.
An army on her doorstep with the banner of the kingdom that tried to kill her.
She muttered a stealth spell, slipping into the camp in between the beats of thunder. Walking between tents, she made her way to the center of the army, her eyes and ears vigilante for any soldier foolish enough to be out. Roof stopped when she heard voice in one of the larger tents, slowly walking over as she listened over the rain and thunder.
“The emperor is fucking insane, chacing after some fairytail of a myth. A woman that can create gods? Thats the type of shit you hear from some half baked stoner.”
“Well do ya want to go up to the emperor an’ say that to hi’ face?”
“Hell fuck no, would rather be stuck out side like fucking Relin.”
She continued to listen as she walked away, her goal set in her mind.
It wasn’t hard to find the emperor's tent, overly rich colors and the size made it easy to differ from the generals, and was even easier to sneak into the emperor's tent. Roof quickly scaled the poles, peering down at the table from the rafters, a smirk on her lips at the sight of the Emperor and generals meeting.
“Your highness, what is even the point of having the army here if there is nothing!” One of the Generals demanded as the Emperor sat in a chair, looking over the map.
“You have our men chasing fairytales, your majesty,” One of the older generals said, his face stoney as he looked the emperor in the eyes, “they are restless and confused about why we are trying to get into ruins.”
The Emperor stood, his yellow eyes uncaring as he looked at his generals and advisers.
“Do you know the story of this world General Endton?” The stoney face man nodded as the Emperor walked up to him.
“Then tell me our history,” The Emperor got in Endtons face, his face passive, “And tell it well enough I might share my reasons.”
Roof watched as Endton wove the story of the end, how the old gods forsaken themselves for power, that the god of this world had enough of the corruption and created a new one for his people. Nothing she hadn’t heard before to justify the conquering of lands.
“But we were different, in that our empire was made not by a god from the old world but from the ideals of a kingdom that made the god that created this world.” Roof raised an eyebrow as she focused back on the story.
“A book given to us to cull those forsaken gods, about the truth in where the gods' powers lie. It was not the gods themselves that had the knowledge of their powers but a people made to train them, they were called the divine. From this our ancestors from the old world discovered that to free the gods and make them Holy, they must destroy the divine’s influence.”
Endton made to continue but the Emperor raised his hand, silencing him.
“And from this our ancestors made the mistake of killing all but two of the divine, leading to their eventual destruction by the hands of the most powerful of the divine, as the emperor was god at the time.” The Emperor paused, the tension in the room raising as he continued.
“No I am going to do what the ancestors could not think of doing,” The Emperor raised his arm, a smirk adorning his face, “I am going to make myself the most powerful empire using the last divine.”
Roof felt her breath catch in her throat as the generals mutter below her, her mind going back to memories she thought she had buried.
She huffed as she ran out of the hall, her books in her arms as she finally made it to the courtyard. Rufus quickly walked over to her counter of the yard, in between the lilies and the roses. She opened her book as the large doors of the temple opened, causing everyone to look. She huffed and continued to read as voices echoed from the hall, the words of spells and their effects being more important. Rufus' ears twitched as she heard her name being said by the high priest.
“In the corner is the girl I was talking about,” The priest pointed for the man beside him,”Rufus is the daughter of our most powerful mage and has already surpassed most of our warriors in combat, both in magic and weapons. She will be helping you along with her mother when you get to the more abstract parts of being a god.”
Rufus glanced up, locking eyes with the new god, his eyes an awful yellow. She felt like he was looking at her to sell her.
“She looks young,” the man muttered, not taking his eyes off her. The priest sighed as he explained.
“She is sadly young for her titles, no doubt due how she was born outside the city, but she has earned them as any other person in this city.” The priest guided the man back into the hall.
“Come now, there is still much to see before you start training.” She frowned as the bell rang, tugging her book back into her backpack. A strange god, she thought, as she headed to the arena, one I do not wish to see again.
She saw him again when he burned her city to the ground.
Roof jerked as a scout came through the flaps of the tent, her eyes wide with relief.
“Your Majesty,” She said as she bowed, “We have found out from the locals that not only does the last of the divine reside here but also the high god.” The Emperor walked forward, tilling the scouts chin up, looking her in the eyes.
“Anything else?” The Emperor demanded as the scout shivered, from fear or chill Roof couldn’t tell.
“The divine has a house not far from here and the god is there as well, about three miles away.” The scout dropped her head when the Emperor stood.
“Men,” He raised his arms with a grin on his face, “The time has come for us to take the power from this corrupt god and make the world holy, and with the guidance of the divine unfairly trapped in the god’s sway we will rule the world!” The Emperor smirked as the generals roared their approval as the scout ran out of the tent. Roof breathed, gathering the power that flows through her veins as she dropped on the table starling everyone.
“Your mistake,” She said, her tone calm as she dropped her hood, “Is that you are not the first to seek to use me.” Roof raised her sword, as the Emperor looked at her stunned.
“There is a reason that we were called the divine,” Roof said as her eyes glowed green, energy crackling around her, “And why you should always fear the fury of those that protect the god.” The Emperor and Generals had a moment before the world lit up brightly as lightning struck the tent.
The whole city was on fire as several people tried to stop the flames, warriors rushing to where the city told them to protect. Rufus ran through the smoke, pushing through the crowds to get home as the city screamed in her ears, both the people and the spirit itself. She coughed as she made it to her home, tears in her eyes as she called for her mother.
Roof felt the roar of the thunder as the army sprang to life around her, holding her sword as she muttered indications, her blade radiating heat as spell after spell was casted on it, burning a brilliant white. She cut through the soldiers that tried to stop her, destroying units with a flick of her sword and commanding the storm to destroy what her sword could not.
Rufus ran up the stairs to her mothers office, bursting the door open to her mother being restrained by the new god. He turned to her, his sick yellow eyes sparkling as he gestured for the men with him to grab her.
She heard the dragons before she saw them, large bastardized beasts of what were old world dragons, deadly as much as they were ugly. The stallion landed in front while the flock surrounded her. She narrowed her eyes as she softly spook her spell.
“Thaous lamos kythano atlareayn pathosdus foulic AVENTOUS” She roared as light shined from her sword, piercing the ground. The Dragons screamed as the light burned their flesh, leaving sun bleached skeletons.
Rufus held back tears as the city's screams grew louder, the army surrounding slowly closing in.
The god smiled as the city was destroyed, the emotions of the god making her nauseous. The god turned to her and her mother, a gleam in his eyes that made her want to vomit.
“Let’s see who is the best of the divine,” He grinned, showing his rotting teeth, “The best will live to teach the greatest god this world has ever seen!”
Roof stood among the wreckage of the army when she heard a blade drawn. She turned to see the emperor standing with a blade darker than a moonless night. He growled, swinging his blade as she meet him with her own. They fought, each time the blades met silver embers flared. Roof hiss as the Emperor’s blade caught her chest, a long cut through her armor as she started to bleed.
Rufus stood over her mother as tears ran down her face, the blade held over her head. Her mother smiled with tears in her eyes as she told Rufus what she was going to do. She closed her eyes as her mother screamed the spell, swinging the sword down-
Roof stopped holding back, easily countering the emperor and casting aside his blade. She forced him on his knees as the ashes of the tents swirled around them, the rain making the fires sputter and snap. Roof stood over him, her blade burning the rain that touched it, her eyes glowing with the power of the divine.
“Your mistake, emperor,” She said as she raise her sword, “Is that you threaten what I hold dear, and your ancestor paid that price.” She looked him in the eyes, gold blood flowing from the wound across her chest, and showed him her true arua.
“And you will as well.” She cut off his head as lightning flashed.
Rufus stood above the emperor, the man begging for his life as if her mother’s corpse wasn’t bleeding behind him.
“Your mistake,” She hiss as she brought the blade about her, “Was made the day you kill my city and now you will pay the price.” She plunged the sword in his chest, the god looking at her in fear as she looked at him. “I forsake any god that comes from this empire,” She hissed, her eyes burning green, “And any god that forsakes the city will fall to their own hubris.”
She pulled the rain to put out the fires, pulling the water to wash away the ruins of what was once the greatest army in the world. Roof looked over the massacre, as she lifted the enchantments not finding any sympathy for the ones left alive.
Roof looked one last time before heading to the forest, the trees moving to hide her as she headed home.
Roof sighed as she healed herself in the kitchen, her armor and sword hidden in her room. The soft glow of gold faded as the cut healed completely.
She leaned against the sink, taking a deep breath as she thought about the god. After everything, after never being able to make a home without worrying about those wishing to use her, to kill her for parts, to enslave her, she still has to worry about that god. Roof felt her hand shake as she started to cry, tear drops falling into the sink as she cries about her city, her home and her mother.
She takes a breath and stands up, her eyes set in determination as she looks for the book of wards, determine to not lose her family again.
0 notes
Text
well i managed to crawl out for a month but uh. last night was a big trigger fest.
went to my friends with another friend. they complimented me on my weight loss and said it was obvious i had lost a shitton. (which. like 20 pounds, yeah, i... guess thats a lot but its not Enough).
other friend struggled w ed in middle school. their mom made some Comments recently and now they're uncomfy and they asked about weight loss. friend we were visiting said they could stand to lose maybe 15 or 20 pounds if they wanted, but they certainly dont qualify as fat.
which. is the same amount as they congratulated me on.
we all compared body types and fat content. comments on our thighs and stomachs and backs and chests.
and i am now. wearing my comfort hoodie. watching youtbe. dissociating. ive had 630 calories today because i know i cant restrict super hard so fast. i smiled this morning after skipping dinner and waking up hungry, that lovely hunger that aches but doesn't hurt. you know you could eat but you're not Hungry hungry even if you can feel your empty stomach. its... a good feeling.
im gonna have a sandwich and some ice cream for my second and final meal for the day and itll probably be some... 430 cal, ending around 1060 for the day.
gods. i want to go to sleep. i want to lie down and waste away.
on the way home a song from my mental loop playlist came on. then one from a self harm perspective. my friend and i listened to an anxiety vent playlist. scream sang the whole way. it didnt help. made it worse?
maybe.
im not doing so hot. im worried about my job status too. and rent and my dads birthday.
i think im gonna go pass out. this totally counts as my journal for the new List Of Organization.
i pasted it on my freezer fridge door.
ive made progress recently, in terms of philosophy and uncovering and understanding my issues. responsibility and suicidal thoughts and attachment issues and how much im hurting and have been hurt and dissociation as a coping mechanism for mental and emotional abuse and then as an anxiety mechanism too. and to cope with school and the boredom and not being able to do what i want and the lack of freedom.
i dont know if ill ever get to the point where i uncover why i hate not being free in my own definition. like thats such a core part of who i am and i am terrified of that being rooted in abuse. if i dont value freedom who am i? but also... i think ive always valued freedom. i think how i approach it has changed. when i was small i didnt care about the opinions of others and their actions or anything. but here i am now caring a Lot. and part of that is... in later elementary, from then on, peoples opinions and words started precluding actions that infringed on my routines and worldview. and then it scaled into full on abuse by my mother. words started mattering a whole FUCKING lot, and actions as well. words had to be careful, actions could be covered up with the right motive and words. a tool for power and put downs. and i hated it and feared it.
and when i started fearing others, noticed how i wasnt free to Be anymore... i started panicking and dissociating and i couldnt handle NOT being me so i stopped.
i stopped being me because i couldnt stand to see me destroyed or warped or killed by the spirits of envy and hatred all around me.
that makes it sound so poetic, but i was scared and it was terrible and awful and scary. and i cant say i regret it because im still not me.
ill never be the same me again. im not even fully me of now.
freedom is. so important to me. it sucks that that was put in jeopardy. that a singular sun in my world was destroyed on someone else's whims, for someone else's COMFORT. as if the mind of child is something okay to smother when they disagree with you.
fuck that. i hate her. i hate this. i hate that this happened. i hate that im not me. i cant hate myself. i cant even be myself and i hate that fact its frustrating.
im making progress but i dont know if i can even hit a point where i comfy enough to be me. if i can reach an understanding with the others and stope fearing. if theyll ever stop being frustrated with me long enough for us to effectively communicate. if we can. if its fair for me to expect or ask explanations for emotions and rules. if its okay. if ill ever be okay again.
im crying now.
im gonna get some water and curl up.
just asked that we all have access to this journal here in the system. i.
im scattered. hey, more progress ig.
insight, at least.
i need a therapist but i dont know if im willing to trust someone with all of these innermost thoughts and ideas and the backstory. i dont know if i can trust a strangers judgement.
what if they call me a liar and call it a day?
yea we can just move on and find a new therapist. it will hurt though. leave us with more issues. devastating to be invalidated by someone with a license. like yea the system has issues and all and you cant guarentee people dont have bias or are otherwise a good fit or even fit for the job every time. it still sucks that i have to go into this with that uncertainty. it makes it harder and easier, i think, to know that. therapists are imperfect, theyre people just like you and me. i just. thats more comforting than i thought it would be. i thought realizing they were professionals meant like. their word has to be taken as holy or some shit. no it doesnt theyre people. theyre trained, but quality control is questionable and bias is extensive and training is sometimes pretty niche. i need to look for someone specifically trained in like. 4 or 5 things. like. anxiety, depression, borderline, osdd/did, autism, add/adhd, possibly ocd, and DEFINITELY cptsd. i dont know what exactly i have but i know i have more than one and i kinda need to work through a shitton and find out whats UP. seriously. i might need medication. id like to try cbt/dbt first and work on integration/personal identity first. but holy SHIT.
im not mentioning ed beyond In The Past if i can help it ahfjfsgkf. like ed i have in hand. i know its a way to feel in control because im afraid of the world and also to approach the body i want, fulfill society standards in a way i wish i didnt care at all about but i do care at least a little despite my denial, and to combat dysphoria/prepare for top surgery.
gods above. im kinda fucked up huh. like more at once than i think is possible and i might be giving myself more issues if i dont handle my new job in a healthy way.
fuck.
anyway. yeah. im back. im not better than ever but im making progress. todays a bad mental health day so far. i want to lose another 10 pounds before i see a therapist just in case. if they say i should try losing weight i am going to glare flatly and absolutely spill how much ive lost but not the timeline or ed habits. but yknow. 165 or so before starting? puts me solidly in the Chubby At First Glance But Not Super Overweight category.
me and my friends also tried to weigh my tits the other day. kitchen scale and leaning down put them at 4.5 lbs each, theyre big enough to try, but thats probably an understimation by like, 40% just by sheer volume. thats like. 10, 15 pounds minimum of boob weight. i want it gone. gone. away please. off my body. no tits or an A cup. and an A cup is highly unlikely so full top it is.
gods. okay ive gone on long enough im going to get water and lay down now. im still dissociating pretty heavily.
0 notes
Text
disregard the last post.
i made that with a lot of anger and frustration. weve talked a lot since then and I'm... not that angry anymore. I probably shouldn't even be talking with you, but i hate how much it helped.
i hate curiosity. i always scolded you and warned you about looking for things you might not want to find and i did it. i found something i didn't want to find.
i found out you were casually dating again.
and of course you are. i mean. we "broke up" in September. it's been months. theres no reason to feel shameful or bad. I cant fault you and I cant be mad at you. and I'm still mad about some stuff, but that's not one of them.
this one hurts though. i knew i would feel like this, but i hate how much my mind keeps REMINDING ME. I'll be trying to sleep and my mind is like, "u kno she seeing someone right. they prolly banging. its prolly way better then ur tired ass sex. doesnt have to say weird fetish shit." and its LIKE. OK. I GET IT. STOP. STOP REPEATING OVER AND OVER. DONT WAKE ME UP TO REMIND ME.
i heard about it after I went snooping about your party. people said their was distinct body language and he seems to have a very outgoing personality and seemed really nice. it sounds like exactly what you need and IT KILLS ME.
I HATE I went snooping. OF COURSE this is what i get. we've talked since then and i know you feel confused and scared. best thing I could actually do for you is leave you alone and let you have a real chance at it. maybe it's a rebound. but so were we. my evil, manipulative side knows that you still feel emotionally connected to me due to calling me about Vday stuff. my pragmatic side wants to sort out a deal where i exchange emotional support for physical intimacy because I know we both want those things and know the other can give them. i can listen and talk and care about your problems and you could do whatever weird, gross, aggressive sexual stuff and not judge me (I think.) but my less evil/neutral sides know that that would throw a wrench in both our things and the best thing I can do is stay away.
that being said... I dont want to. it's like doing coke or something. like yeah, it's bad. but like. if no one knows... then maybe it's not THAT bad. like it would detrimental to us if we got together and we argued and fought. that would be unhealthy. but just... secreting away and being physical and keeping it hot and fast.. ugh. I mean. its sorta like all those fantasies you helped me with. except we wouldn't be pretending.
ugh. prolly makes me a horrible person. prolly makes US. I know you kind of want to do the same thing. I tried to cool suggest it, but you're probably conflicted about it too. I want you to just... show up late one night. some random text at like... 11pm being like, "I'm outside. should I leave?" and then I mull it over and invite you in quietly. you're wearing something impossibly hot like you do. we hug and I can tell you want to feel my body because it's been so long. we go back to my room and talk awkwardly for a few minutes. we both mention how you shouldnt be here sheepishly while ignoring the fact neither of us are protesting it very hard. you slide off your coat, looking me in the eye the whole time. that longing, sad look. that look that makes it impossible not to kiss you. I pull away after a minute and say, "this is wrong. we shouldnt be doing this." and you lean in close to my ear and whisper "hes not you." and I instinctually press my body against yours. you nuzzle into my neck as you slide your hands under my shirt, around my waist and up my back. I put my hands on your waist and take a deep breath of the smell of your hair. I say, "i dont want to hurt anyone" you said "I dont care." or more likely "no one has to know"... we appreciate each others bodies like we always should have. I go over every inch of you, knowing I might not see it again. you go over those inches of me like they're an old friend you're excited to see. you say all the terrible things I want you to say and I hurt you like you liked to be hurt. we go on for an hour. i want you to stay but i cant ask. my willpower drained with my stress. you fix yourself and disappear like an uninvited vampire. i cry. a lot. i hold myself and wish it was you. the lifetime of memories creeping back onto me. I hate myself for what I've done, but desperately try and inhale your fading scent still lingering in my bed.
ugh. I'm probably gonna end up writing something hot and complete after sharing that. I hate that I want that so bad. but I shouldnt. I have more to lose in this than you do.
you would hate me if you knew what I had been up to since. one of the other reasons I cant judge you for moving on. I've talked and reached out to many people you arent a fan of. not to spite you, but because those people knew me in intimate ways I can trust. I gained insight from talking to them and meeting with them. but that's not what I'm referring to.
im... also.. casually dating someone. it's still all pretty fledgling, as I am WAY too delicate to dedicate myself to anyone. but its... it's someone you know. some things had been happening that neither of us knew about.. and I dont want to tell you because I feel like I'd be cursing you with the same curse that I have. imaging you with that person, not being able to stop... but I know the curiosity is almost as killer for you. its.. a hard thing to figure out morally. but I dont want to jeopardize it. its... it's a once in a lifetime chance. they care about me.. legitimately. and probably more than they should with how emotionally volatile I am right now. but they dont really know how.. I am. part of me is a sweet, great guy. but another part of me is the type to want to have that night I wrote about. a secret trust where we exhaust each other physical and say all the sick things we want, knowing that the other wont judge them. (hell, anything is better than arguing)
I want to be physically wanted... but I want to be wanted by you. I loved when you would love my body. cause like... in my head, when people say things about loving me, I always diffuse it "oh she just thinks she loves me like that" "oh shes convinced herself she likes that about me" "oh she thinks that's cute now, but give it time..." and its just... innate to my awful self esteem. but body stuff? making out with me? going down on me? holding, examining and loving.. parts of me? it feels so much... truer to me. like someone couldnt lie about that. I know thats... naive to think. but that's how it feels. no one who doesnt like you is gonna put their dick in their mouth. bottom line. or go along with your fantasies that you yourself think are strange to be attracted to. i wanted you to want me so bad. i wanted you to love my body and tell me youd been thinking about it. it's such a direct link to my heart.. ugh. but that.. stuff got all messed up. I think that's what made me fall in love in the first year. you cherished my body. you worshipped it. you wanted to sherk your duties to have more of it and I was totally enthralled. that first year made me stay for so long and through so much. always chasing that high. that time where my body was all you wanted and all i wanted was your heart. and it all got so... nevermind.
the person I'm dating.. we're talking it very slow. ive.. kissed her. in fact, your vday call interrupted that kiss. can you believe that timing? thanks universe. if you're trying to say we should get back together, maybe dont kill a beautiful innocent cat next time. I was mad you wanted me to support you through death.. after you abandoned me when I needed your support so bad. I'm still kinda mad. but whatever. this isnt a mad post.
i.. its. shes.. she lets me talk about you. she knows you. maybe better than I did. its hard.. shes not experienced with.. our type of relationship so much. I try not to put much on her. for the reasons of not wanting to overburden her and to keep from forming an instant bond. I know I still have these raw, visceral feelings for you and I dont want to hurt someone I care about because of them. I dont know how you know your new guy, but my guess is: not very well. maybe it's a tinder date. maybe it's a friend of a friend. but if I had to make an educated guess, it's someone far removed who is just.. treating you well. like how you want to be treated. kind of a nobody, but that's a good thing. like if things kept being nice, cool. if they didnt work, whatever. something noncommittal. something lowkey. something you didnt have to /worry/ about. which is all... smart. but I also know that if you felt like you wanted to drive that shit into a wall, you wouldnt lose a lot of sleep over it. and you considering the tryst.. well. yeah. speaks to that effect. i... I wonder if I should have even suggested its because I can't drive my thing into a wall. its... I cant. youd understand if you knew.
theres probably only one person in your mind you would legitimately fear me dating if you sat down and thought about it. someone that wasn't just someone you didnt want me dating. not like Kayla or Grace where it would just... bug you. I mean deeper. someone that you couldnt wrest me away from. someone that your charms would fall flat because of. I'm talking Caitlyn levels of dedicated affection. and as I said, I dont want to jump in. I know how easily i fall in love. I'm taking this slow. developing a foundation. trying to figure myself. wanting someone to treat me well and watch anime and cartoons with while being warm and laughing. someone to affectionately take care of me. someone who wanted to spend time with me.. someone who's house i could come over to in the daylight.. someone who's friends were excited for her and not judgemental of her..
I get why you're dating. I'm doing the same thing for the same reasons. i need this. you need this. i wanted you to treat me these ways but i couldnt keep.. telling you how to treat me after so many years. you could write a book on me. I STILL know how to take care of you and I mostly figured it out after years. I wanted to see you try and figure me out. you didnt have to be right. I just wanted you to try. I left a breadcrumb on my IG for this story, but I never know when or if you'll ever read these. I always want to hear your feelings too. I wish you wrote like this. I wish I had a direct line to your thoughts like back in the day when you wrote. it always helped. I still check your tumblr from time to time. like the idiot I am.
ugh. like the absolute idiot I am.
(ps. I watch that last video we made like every day.)
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
valledelirios
Cafuné
quicksilversg1rl
jay 🧸🩷🎧
foodcollective9
Untitled
pugnthecity
~ Pug In The City ~
gbasibedotcom-blog
Health News, Automobiles, Money&Career