#tumblr keeps fucking up the image quality ugh
Text
💫 🌟 ⭐️ starry night ⭐️ 🌟💫
#ofmd#our flag means death#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbeard#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#tumblr keeps fucking up the image quality ugh#ofmd fanart#pseudoart
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
You’re Wet, You’re Naked
Part 1 | Part 2
A/N: Here’s Part 2 of Charlie spending a hot smutty night with his biggest fan Y/N! This fic is also my next entry for @band--psycho’s Bingo Challenge! In this Part 2, Charlie opens your tumblr and stumbles on some of your filthy imagines... 👀
Pairing: Charlie Hunnam x F!Reader
Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk
Request: This anon request + separate request from @rayslittlekitten (Charlie reading smutty fanfics)
Bingo Square Filled: Losing a bet
Word Count: ~900
... Continued from Part 1 [Read Here]
So the bet has been set, though the stakes haven’t yet.
You’re still pinching yourself at the fact that Charlie Fucking Hunnam somehow picked you out from the crowd at the talk show that you just attended... and is now taking you to bed. And you’re kicking yourself that you ever agreed to this bet: that if he snoops around on your phone he’ll find some kind of fangirl content that causes you to cringe in embarrassment.
And of course you have that kind of content. Ugh, why did you ever assent...?
It’s a struggle to try to stay calm, as Charlie holds the key to your dirtiest secrets about him right there in his palm. Thankfully there is only one app on your phone in which all of these secrets are harbored: the little ‘t’ icon for tumblr. If he never opens that app you’ll be certain to win. Charlie teases you lightly about all the pictures and gifs that you have saved of him but that’s far from a sin.
Beside you in the backseat of his private limousine ride, Charlie glides his thumb over the apps that he hasn’t yet checked as he seeks out the content you’re trying to hide. You’re both deeply reclined, bodies dangerously close to each other against the black leather.
“I don’t even know what you think you might find, but I promise it’s not under ‘Weather’...” you laugh as his thumb passes by the image of a partly cloudy sky.
“You wanna bet?” Charlie mischievously replies. “I’m guessing if I open it the forecast’s gonna be all fucking wet.”
You laugh again and roll your eyes, though you’re in no position to deny. “Oh God, are you always this corny?”
“Only when I’m horny.”
“Something tells me that happens a lot...”
“What, are you calling me a slut?” Charlie pretends to be offended with a cheeky little gasp, before returning to his task. And promptly hitting the jackpot. “Hmm, now what is this colorful ‘t’? It’s an inviting little mystery. Let’s have a look and see...”
Part of you wants him to discover all your nasty, filthy fantasies... but now that it’s about to happen it feels like you’ve been run over by a truck. You’re well and truly fucked.
And will be in more ways than one, by the time the night is done.
***************
The progression of Charlie’s reaction... begins innocently. And escalates quickly.
“Oh, this is cute as fuck. You have a little fan blog?”
Five seconds later as he realizes that 99% of content on your ‘little fan blog’ just consists of hardcore smut singing the praises of his cock...
“What is a ‘fic’?” he thinks out loud before easily answering his own question. “Is that short for fiction—like fanfiction? ‘Smutty’ meaning it’s like, graphic? Pornographic? Have you written thousands of words all about my big dick?”
You act as if you’re totally unfazed, although deep down you’re so embarrassed you wish every word you’ve written could be instantly erased. “Yeah, and what of it? I’m proud of it.”
“As you should be; I love it. This is some good shit,” he tells you as he browses through your work, lips lifting into a delicious little smirk. Especially delighted at the sight of all the dirty talk that’s featured in your fics, and the intense dom/sub dynamic. Damn, he really is devouring your masterlist. “Well, that... that’s accurate.”
“What is?” you ask, trying to keep up though his thumb is scrolling fast, as he skims through pages upon pages of smuttiness.
“Like, all of it.”
Oh holy shit. Holy mother of shit.
“I’m serious—it’s like I scripted this. You been spying on me or some shit?”
You bite your lip and try to stay composed although you’re so aroused you’re really not okay. “Only every other Tuesday?”
He laughs and ruffles your hair which slays you in a million ways. “I knew that’s what you’d say.”
“I guess we’re in each other’s heads...”
“Damn right. If only all this time we had been in each other’s beds.”
The shameless slut inside you answers with the boldest thing you’ve ever said—may as well, she decides. “...I guess that starts tonight?”
Charlie just lifts his suit-clad shoulders in a shrug, as if it’s not painfully obvious you two are gonna fuck. “Well, that was gonna be your prize if you had won the bet...”
“But I did!” you insist, as you smother your self-consciousness, pleased with how well you’ve managed to hide it. “I’m not embarrassed by my blog one bit. Honest. This means I win, you cheeky little shit.”
“You think you won this bet?” he snickers, blue eyes sparkling in a dark devilish flicker. “There’s a shit ton of your quality fiction I still haven’t read. Bitch, I haven’t even dug into the kinky section yet.”
Oh crap. You didn’t think he would dig that deep once he stumbled on this freaky little app. He’s already gotten the gist, from a quick little trip through your masterlist...
But now that Charlie knows you’re such a filthy fucking whore, for him, and how much you adore him... he just wants to read more and more and more.
And hopefully reenact every damn word of the smut that you’ve written, making hardcore fact out of fantasy fiction, if that’s what the night has in store.
***************
... Continued in Part 3!
Hope you enjoyed this, and would love to hear if you did! 🤗❤️
– Main Masterlist
– Bingo Challenge Masterlist
***************
Tag List – Join Here!*
*If you’re unable to use that link to join the tag list, just let me know and I’ll manually add you to it!
@itsme-autumn @rebelwrites @happyhenners @band--psycho @witching-hour @est11 @edonaspanca @ughdontbeboring @neverland14353 @starbooty @coffeequeenxx @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @justme2042 @awesomenatalia @auroraariza @rochyu @coffeebooksandfandom @inlovewithcharliehunnam @turner-cris @thesuicidalflower @chrmdnbeautiful @xladymacbethx @holl2712 @snow-white-74 @moonlight-fern @stitchesbystults @lilacyennefer @magic-room @sunflower12335 @trishmarieofficial @smoochesfroggos @o0idk0o @beth-winchester21 @flaireandsynch @littlebennettwitchsblog @got-to-love-a-badboy @noneofyourbusinessssblog @notquitecannon @wayward-avenging @travistheaussie @helloheyhihowdyheya @filliandkili @christycarnell6 @happylittlepuppydog @dinopin @leathercladmenfics @magictehnique @amberembers @addcrastinator3 @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @foreve-free @midnvght-lies @wiccanash @batmanb @xbreezymeadowsx @louisianalady [hit the 50-tag limit – list to be continued in a reblog of this fic]
#charlie hunnam#charlie hunnam smut#charlie hunnam imagine#charlie hunnam fanfiction#charlie hunnam fic#charlie hunnam x reader#charlie hunnam x you#jax teller#sons of anarchy#soa#rpf#rpf fanfic#rpf fanfiction#celebrity imagines
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
like you | jungwoo
title: like you
pairing: jungwoo x black!reader
genre: fluff, college!au
request: “Hi. I’m requesting a fluffy imagine where Y/N is a senior in college and Jungwoo is a freshman in college. Y/N gets upset because people keep picking on him because he is asian and she defends him. This causes Jungwoo to get extremely clingy/flirty and develop a crush on Y/N. Y/N is not used to recieving affection so she feels skeptical”
word count: 3.8k
warnings: cursing, instances of racism
a/n: this one was pretty fun to write, i love writing college-inspired stuff for some reason lol. tumblr fucked the image quality but whatever. the title comes from the song off story op 1. stan kim jonghyun girlies!
“Who’s that guy in your Medieval History class?” Your roommate, Mira, randomly asks you one day. She’s hanging off the edge of your bed, her textbook on the ground in front of her as she fists her hands in her hair and tries to comprehend the words swimming on the page in front of her.
You turn away from your desk to look at her. “That’s a random ass question. Have the words finally fried your brain? I don’t even know what guy you’re talking about.”
She looks up at you, crossing her arms in front of her and resting her chin on them. “Fuck this homework man, I’ve had enough. I wanna know who’s the guy in your History class, the black-haired one? The Asian dude?”
You think for a moment. You do remember who she’s talking about; he sits closer to the front of the class, though you’re not sure how she knows him. She’s not even in the same class. He has cute features, though you haven’t paid him much mind—you know from the first day’s icebreaker that he’s a freshman exchange student, but any other details have escaped your mind.
“I don’t remember his name at the moment...what about him?”
“He seems kind of awkward, like...I’ve only really seen him with one other boy. It’s kinda sad...he could use a friend or two.”
“You’re assuming he’s awkward? Maybe he’s just shy, or doesn’t want 800 different friends,” you say, turning to another page in your notebook. There are only a couple of reasons why she’d ask you about a guy, and you can guess what her plans are. “If you want to be his friend, you can. Ain’t nobody stopping you.”
“Well, shit, can’t you like...introduce me? I don’t wanna be a weirdo going up to a total stranger!”
You laugh incredulously. “Girl, he’s a total stranger to me too. If you really want to be friends, just say so...or say you’re with that Freshman Committee who pairs upperclassmen mentors with the new students. I’m sure that’ll work well.” In actuality, you’re not entirely serious or sure about that, but it’s better than listening to your friend complain.
Mira sighs, going back to her textbook. “Ugh, you never wanna help me get guys. Fine...I could try it, but if I end up looking like a fool I’m blaming you.”
You only have Medieval History on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you have to wait another day before returning to class again. After keeping your ears open for the roll call, you figure out that the guy’s name is Jungwoo.
He appears to be really into the subject and participates often, asking and answering questions whenever the professor engages with the students. You’re only taking Medieval History to fill out the last credit for your Social Studies electives, so you never expected to be all into the subject; but the teacher does a decent enough job of making the class not totally boring.
Jungwoo has a pretty proficient grasp of English, which makes you wonder if he did a lot of studying before he got here. He mispronounces a word when asking the teacher about a certain concept in the reading material, though, and a couple of girls who sit behind him laugh. You furrow your eyebrows at that, wondering what their problem is.
Later, when you’re leaving class, they pass by you and you hear a bit of their conversation.
“Shit, if you’re gonna move over here you should at least know English first,” one says, screwing up her nose.
“Seriously, it’s so embarrassing. I thought Asians were supposed to be geniuses or something?” Both girls laugh at that, and you roll your eyes at the ignorance. They’re gone only seconds later, although your mind keeps drifting back to their comments for the rest of the day.
Over the next week, you notice that those same two girls seem to spend more of their class time giggling over Jungwoo’s mannerisms and speech than actually participating in the class. It quickly begins wearing your nerves thin; you’ve never gotten along well with people who are assholes just for the sake of being mean.
If Jungwoo notices—which you figure he must, because their cackling is too obvious not to pick up on—he doesn’t acknowledge it. This only makes you more irritated, knowing that he probably isn’t interested in picking a fight with these girls; but that doesn’t mean he should continue being disrespected.
You reach a point where you can no longer stay silent during a lecture on Medieval cuisine, where the girls keep whispering silly jokes about Asian food. You clear your throat loud enough to make a few heads turn, including the girls doing the laughing. “Excuse you, I can’t hear the teacher over the noise,” you say pointedly, crossing your arms. They both give you salty looks at that comment, and you have to stifle the urge to throw something at the backs of their heads when they turn around.
This is going to be a long semester.
Things come to head one day when you’re all waiting outside the classroom for the professor’s last class to leave. Jungwoo is standing beside the classroom’s door, while you’re seated on a nearby bench, trying to stay awake after studying until 2 a.m. last night.
The two girls walk into the hallway, including a boy you don’t recognize; you figure he’s probably a friend or boyfriend. You kiss your teeth at their entrance and try to return to your thoughts, but you’re quickly taken out of them again when you see the trio stop in front of Jungwoo.
The first girl, who seems to be the ringleader, speaks. “Hey, what’s your name again—Ching? Jing?”
“We need some homework help! And since you seem to be the teacher’s pet…” Both girls look at each other and laugh at that. Jungwoo furrows his eyebrows, an unimpressed expression on his face.
“I don’t think that’s—” Jungwoo starts, but the other guy cuts him off, putting his hand to his ear in an exaggerated gesture.
“What was that? We need you to enunicate, no one knows what the fuck you’re saying.” This time, all three of them break into laughter.
The tiredness drains from your body faster than any caffeine could achieve as you watch the scene unfold. Some of your other classmates look on, shifting uncomfortably, but no one moves to say or do anything. Before you can really think about it, you’re already up on your feet and walking towards the group.
“Maybe if your miserable asses spent more time studying the lectures instead of shitting on a fellow student, you wouldn’t have to beg for help.”
All three of them, plus Jungwoo, turn their heads in your direction with varying expressions on their faces. The main girl speaks up, putting her hands on her hips. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”
“You, bitch! Who else? Y’all love picking on someone you know is too nice to say anything back. That’s weak as hell and says more about you than it ever could about him.”
Your voices start getting louder as the girl gets up in your face, and before anything can pop off, the professor comes storming through the classroom door.
“What the hell is going on here?” he shouts over the arguing.
The girl backs down after the professor makes his appearance and turns to look at her two partners in crime. “Girl—got the damn teacher out here, come on, we ain’t got time for this shit.” They both walk away in a huff, their male friend trailing behind them, and some other students give them sideways glances as they pass. The guy throws you a dirty look before he leaves, and you don’t hesitate to flip him off.
“That’s an unexcused absence on your record!” The professor calls after them, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Jungwoo has been watching the whole scene with shocked eyes, and he keeps looking at you as you shrug and head into the classroom.
The next time you have your Medieval History class, the two girls don’t show up. Maybe they’re too embarrassed to come back to class, but whatever it is, it’s above you now.
After the professor finishes his main lecture, he flips through his copy of the class textbook for the day’s assignment. “Everyone, turn to page 273 in your books. I want you all to read and analyze this text on Romanesque architecture, then answer the 3 discussion questions on page 275. You can get into groups of no more than 3 if you wish, but everyone needs to turn in their own individual answer sheet.”
Sighing, you open your notebook and rifle through your backpack for a writing utensil. When you look up, you jump a little from shock; Jungwoo is standing near your desk with his things in his arms.
“Hi...could we work together?” He gives you a gentle smile.
“Oh, sure, that’s fine with me!” Jungwoo takes the empty seat beside you and you push your desks to be closer together.
“I never got to say,” he starts, “but thank you for doing that last week...you didn’t have to.”
“Well, I would hope any decent person would...I didn’t want to just sit there and watch you be insulted. It’s so unnecessary...” You quickly flip through your textbook, completely overshooting the assignment page and having to go back. You feel a little flustered at this kind of attention, because you weren’t really doing it to be noticed or heroic.
Jungwoo smiles at your modesty, though he doesn’t try to push the matter.
At the end of class, after you’ve both turned in your assignments, you and Jungwoo leave together.
“Thanks for partnering with me today,” you tell him, and he nods in acknowledgement. “I guess I’ll see you next class?”
“Actually, do you want to eat lunch with me? I mean, at the cafeteria today?” he asks. His eyes seem to literally sparkle in anticipation of your answer, and you find it hard to turn that face down. Plus, he seems nice enough; this could be a good way to introduce him to Mira.
“Sure,” you say, grinning.
You and Jungwoo head to the dining hall for lunch, talking about anything that comes to mind along the way. You find out that him and his roommate, Jaehyun, have been best friends for awhile before deciding to go overseas for college; his roommate has been to the U.S. before, but this is his first time. He talks a lot more than you expected him to, but you figure some people just need time to warm up before they get comfortable.
It doesn’t take you long to find Mira after you get to the cafe, and you plan to let her take the reins with the conversation, but Jungwoo continually does his best to keep you roped into the dialogue. You realize you don’t mind that, though—it’s nice to have someone who actively engages you rather than lets you fade into the background.
Jungwoo quickly makes the desk beside yours his new spot in class. He sticks close to your side during lectures and even when you walk to the cafeteria or back to your dorm, always thinking of something new to tell you about. With any other person you’d quickly get tired of this borderline clingy behavior, but something about him keeps you interested, even when you’re talking about stuff that would be boring to others—like Medieval History.
The two girls eventually make their return, glowering silently at you and Jungwoo but not saying a word. Their object of laughter and mockery is no longer available for harassment; who knows who they’ll try to terrorize next, though you hope the answer is no one.
“You don’t mind that Jungwoo always wants to hang out with me, do you? Since I know you kinda liked him and all.” You ask Mira at lunch one day, when Jungwoo leaves the table to get the straw he forgot. You feel a bit sheepish. You didn’t mean to “steal” her prospective man away from her, but you and Jungwoo have taken a liking to each other, and you enjoy being in his presence.
“Jungwoo? No! I actually have my eye on another guy in my Nursing class now, he’s really funny and he owns a collection of vintage records…” You snort, unsurprised that her attention has drifted already. Mira launches into a whole spiel about this new dude, even detailing how the color of his irises is just shy of being “true hazel green.” She pauses in her speech to bat her eyelashes at you. “Besides, it seems like you two have something going on already. I wouldn’t dare get in between that.”
You almost drop your food in your lap. “Uh, what?”
“Don’t be shy. You two are practically tied at the hip, and Jungwoo already talks to you like you’re his girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time at this point.”
“I seriously doubt that,” you say, suddenly feeling very put on the spot. You don’t think Jungwoo sees you like that at all, and you’re a little irritated that your roommate would suggest it, jokingly or not.
She sighs and shakes her head. When she spots Jungwoo walking back to the table, she tries to act casual and wrap the subject up. “Suit yourself, but I’m always right about this kinda stuff. Watch.”
Every year, your college throws a Welcome Back party on the last Friday of the first month in the semester. You initially didn’t have plans to go, much preferring your friends’ kickbacks where you don’t have to avoid sweaty and horny stranger dudes all night. However, Jungwoo turns to you one day after class ends and brings it up.
“Y/N, there’s gonna be a party on campus at the end of the week...are you going?”
“Hmm, probably not...Welcome Back parties are always lowkey messy and filled with freshmen who don’t know how to act…” You momentarily forget that Jungwoo is a freshman, and you have to walk your comment back a bit. “Not saying you’ll be like that, though!”
He waves it off. “It’s fine. It’s just, me and Jaehyun are going and thought it’d be fun if you came too.”
“Well…”
Jungwoo rests his head on your shoulder and hugs your arm. “Please? I want the prettiest girl in school to be my date.”
You pat his hand and laugh off his comment, unsure how to accept his compliment. “Since you asked so nicely…I’ll go. But I’m bringing Mira with me. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone to a campus party.”
“Yes!! That’s fine, Jaehyun will probably like her,” Jungwoo says, smirking. You still don’t get how they haven’t formally met yet with how your friend circles overlap, but you know it’s coming soon. Obviously, Jungwoo knows something you don’t, judging by the look on his face, but you don’t inquire about it.
You and Mira spend the night of the party getting ready with Megan Thee Stallion and City Girls blasting through your dorm room. She was a little resistant to the idea at first, insisting that campus parties were too corny for her taste, but you eventually convinced her to go.
As the hour approaches, there’s a knock on your door. You’re still putting the finishing touches on your makeup, so you tell Mira to answer it. When she does, Jungwoo and Jaehyun are standing there.
“You guys are here already? Who let you in?” she says jokingly, though you wonder the same thing; you can’t get into a dorm you don’t live in without a key card.
“Some guy downstairs. Maybe your dorm needs better security.” Jaehyun laughs. “I tried to tell Jungwoo it’s still early, but he was ready to leave.”
“Walking in on two girls getting ready, how presumptuous of you,” Mira giggles, pretending to shove Jungwoo’s shoulder. You roll your eyes hard and try not to laugh in the mirror. “But you’re here now, so might as well come in.”
Jungwoo makes a beeline straight to you, placing his hands on your shoulders like he wants to give you a massage. “Hi pretty girl.” He smiles at your reflection, and you almost drop your lip gloss on the floor.
“Oh, h-hey, Jungwoo! The party tonight better be fun...if not, you owe me,” you say, trying to play off your nervousness.
Jungwoo acts reluctant about it, placing his hand in his chin and thinking deeply. “I owe you? Well, okay...anything you want.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You can have my heart first, if you want.”
This time you really do drop your lip gloss, and Mira and Jaehyun watch with amused fascination as you mourn your lost makeup. But right now, you just want to avoid thinking about what Jungwoo has just said, and how it makes you feel.
The gymnasium where the party is being held is just as packed as you expected it to be, even at your group’s early arrival. It’s only going to get more crowded from here, but you don’t think about that as Jungwoo all but drags you to go dance.
You genuinely enjoy yourself for the first time in a while, and you’re surprised at just how much fun you can still have even with drunken dudes bumping into you every few minutes.
You’re too caught up in dancing with Jungwoo to notice, but Mira and Jaehyun are nowhere to be found. You only realize this after you two take a break during a slower song and you can’t spot her anywhere on the gym floor. You send her a text message, but you don’t expect to receive an answer anytime soon.
“Shit, they didn’t waste any time,” you laugh, and for some reason you can’t stop laughing at the situation. Jungwoo joins you until you’re both outright cackling, and some of the other party-goers give you odd glances.
You and Jungwoo spend most of the night dancing and partying with some of your other classmates. You both leave the gym one hour before the party ends, wanting to avoid getting caught in the huge rush of people who’ll be looking for fast food places to hit up. Instead of heading back to your dorms, you two decide to walk around the campus for a while, enjoying the still night air and the sounds of crickets all around you. You’re glad for the open air, because you were burning up in the gym with so many bodies around you.
Neither of you speak for a while, simply taking in the scenery and retracing your footsteps on paths you walk everyday to get to class. Jungwoo finally breaks the silence when you pass through a long path flanked on both sides by rows of flowery trees; this part of campus is so picturesque that it almost seems out of place.
“Tonight is really pretty,” he says, glancing at the starry sky.
“I know, right,” you agree. “It’s so nice outside. I’m glad you convinced me to go to the party.”
“I’m glad too. I really like being next to you...” Jungwoo’s eyes linger on your face for longer than you expect them to, and you look away nervously, unsure what that could mean. “But, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“Oh? What’s that?” The sudden change in tone makes you a bit anxious, and you half expect him to tell you he has to return home after this semester ends. That thought makes you more disappointed than you anticipated. Your stomach curls into a knot.
“Y/N, I like you.” Jungwoo’s face is earnest, but your brain has a hard time catching up to the meaning of his words. You feel like you’ve been kicked in the chest—or maybe that’s your heart trying to knock its way out of your ribcage. You stop walking and simply look at him, unsure how to approach his confession. He stops too, turning to face you with gentle eyes.
“I-is...this a joke?” You finally blurt out. Jungwoo’s face draws into a confused expression. He shakes his head, his hair waving as he does.
“It’s not a joke at all. You are funny, nice, cool, brave, pretty…”
“A...are you sure this isn’t just because I defended you? Like, maybe you just feel really grateful about it—a-and we’ve only known each other a month—”
“Y/N, I know how I feel,” Jungwoo argues, grabbing your hands. He pauses for a moment as if he’s trying to come up with the accurate words to express himself. “I just...I don’t need a reason or excuse. I just like you.”
This is all far more than what you’re used to. You pull your hands away from Jungwoo’s for a moment, embarrassed and overwhelmed. You tentatively reach for his hand again after seeing the hurt look on his face, but you hesitate.
“I’m...sorry, it’s just…” You don’t really want to admit something so personal to him, but you don’t know how else to avoid completely hurting his feelings tonight. “I’m, uh, not really used to this kind of stuff…” Jungwoo raises his eyebrows at that.
“Used to...what? Someone liking you?”
“Well damn, when you put it like that…” You try to laugh it off, but you feel corny and sheltered at best. What must Jungwoo think of you, as a senior who’s never had a genuine love interest? You’ve had more than one college boy’s lust directed at you one time or another, but true affection is another thing entirely. That has been a much rarer find.
“Then...you can get used to it now. It’s never too late to experience love.”
“You really believe that?” you say softly, allowing yourself to feel a little relieved that he’s not laughing you out of town. But of course he wouldn’t. He’s not that kind of person, anyway.
“Don’t you?” You let him take your hand this time as he steps closer. “You deserve someone who will treat you nicely, tell you funny stories, carry your books for you..”
“Someone...like you,” you finish for him, thinking back to all the times he’s done those exact same things for you. You’re unsure how to approach the intense newness of this situation, and you’re a little afraid of him holding your sweaty palm, but you decide none of that matters when Jungwoo’s lips meet yours, his hand carefully holding your face.
Right now, the only thing that matters is this moment under the stars.
#jungwoo#jungwoo fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 fic#ambw scenarios#ambw fluff#ambw imagines#ambw kpop#ambw fic#jungwoo scenarios#jungwoo imagines#jungwoo fic#nct 127
131 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Forest Incident Pt. 3
Word Count: 1,723
Warning(s): Blood, injuries, cursing, infirmary/hospital
Author's Note: I am upset. It wasn't supposed to be this short but I reached the damn paragraph limit and had to go pretty far back for the most natural cutting off point. I was gonna finish it all this chapter but I guess I'll have to wait a day to two. Ugh. So yeah, there'll be a part Fours that basically just an epilogue. Thanks Tumblr.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
Virgil muttered an apology and fully slapped the boy across the face and desperately shouted his name again.
Finally, Roman slowly opened his eyes and Virgil let out a little laugh of relief.
“Did...did you slap me?” Roman questioned, his voice weak.
“Well you wouldn't wake up,” Virgil said. “Didn't leave me much choice.”
He dragged Roman over to the nearest tree and propped him against it, flinching when Roman launched into a coughing fit.
“Hold on, hold on I've uh…I've got some first aid stuff just hold on,” Virgil muttered, practically incomprehensible.
Virgil tossed his sword and shield to the side so he could take off his backpack and rummage through it.
He ended up just taking everything but the protein bars out, because he still wasnt sure exactly what he needed.
He was no Patton, but he was pretty sure he could buy enough time to find Patton or get back to camp. Only problem, they had been following the tracks, so Virgil actually wasn’t sure which way Camp was.
But that was definitely a problem for later. For now, he had to keep Roman from bleeding out in the middle of the woods.
“Okay, here eat this,” Virgil shoved a large square of ambrosia into Roman’s hand and made sure he was starting to eat it before he used his sword to cut open Roman’s shirt.
He had to get it off in order to actually treat the gash and there was no way Roman was taking it off anytime soon.
“You know,” Roman started before coughing again. “If you wanted to see...see me shirtless...you could have just said something.”
"Shut up idiot," Virgil muttered. He opened the First Aid kit and began to use the cleaning gauze to wipe away as much of the blood as possible because at this point he couldn't even see the cut.
Roman looked on the verge of passing it again, but Virgil remembered something about keeping the patient awake by talking or something.
"You saved my life you know," Virgil ended up saying, inwardly cursing himself. "Throwing me my shield I mean. That was some quick thinking."
"You're welcome." Roman tried to laugh but ended up coughing again and slumped against the tree. "You, you saved me too...you know."
"I think all the blood suggests otherwise."
"But after that you…you got me out of the way...that stinger... remember?"
"Yeah I guess. Everything happened so fast." Virgil wasn't fully paying attention to the conversation. He had given up on the blood and reached for the rubbing alcohol, putting some on the left over gauze. "I've gotta clean this out. It's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch though, so try to just keep talking. Ready?"
Roman nodded and visibly braced himself, so Virgil pressed the gauze to the wound. Roman hissed loudly and his head fell back against the tree with a dull thunk. Virgil mumbled an apology under his breath.
"Not to mention, ow ow ow, this," Roman said, trying to follow Virgil's advice and just distract himself.
"What on Gaia's green earth are you talking about?" Virgil raised an eyebrow.
"Nursing me...back to, ow, health or whatever. Maybe you're...not an evil, ow, villain."
"And why's that?"
"Ah!"
"Sorry."
"Well if you really wanted me...ya know...dead...this would be the, ow, perfect opportunity. Secret…secret mission in the...the woods...crazy monster….already hurt…"
"I think you're in shock Princey."
"M'not in shock...you're in shock…. you're so...so calm."
Actually, if Virgil thought about it, the delirious demigod may be onto something.
Usually Virgil would be freaking the fuck out and definitely not treating a wound methodically and carefully and ESPECIALLY not since he himself was injured and exhausted, though the adrenaline coursing through his veins at the sight of Roman's cut and the blood on his own hands was probably to thank for that.
"Okay done with that." Virgil used the last scraps of gauze to get at least some of the blood off his hands before tossing it away. Usually Patton would scold him for something like that but Virgil couldn't bring himself to care about littering at the moment.
He reached for the bandages instead and helped Roman sit up so he could wrap that bandages around his torso and occasionally his shoulder to help keep them in place.
He used on hand to hold up Roman and the other to wrap the bandages, alternating which hand was doing which as he went.
"Hey Virge? I think...I think I'm gonna take a little nap now."
"Like hell you are," Virgil growled. "Don't think I won't slap you again."
"That's not nice," Roman pouted. He was getting increasingly delirious from a combination of blood loss, exhaustion, and pain, and Virgil wasn't sure how much longer he'd last.
Virgil had skills limited to basic First Aid and it wasn't professional quality either. If Roman didn't get help quick, Virgil wasn't sure he'd make it. He'd lost so much blood…
Plus Virgil would have to carry him back to camp and he had no idea which way that was.
Worse still, he didn't think his body could handle that.
He was bruised and battered as well, he was pretty sure he'd at least crack a few ribs, and was running on nothing but adrenaline at this point.
Virgil tucked the end of the bandage and secured it with medical tape, but that was about as far as his skills went. Now the other problem.
"We've gotta find Logan and Patton or figure out how to get you back to camp," Virgil was mumbling again, searching fruitlessly through his bag as if a miracle would suddenly appear. In fact, he was actually praying to every god he knew that that exact thing would happen. Because he was out of options.
"I could...do a spell," Roman suggested, his voice quieter and weaker than Virgil had ever heard.
"No, no way," Virgil argued immediately. "There's no way you have enough energy for one of those."
"I would if you gave me...gave more am..amber...ambrosia."
"You are just a FACTORY for bad ideas right now, aren't you? I already gave you a risky amount, anymore and you'll probably burn up!"
"I don't think we have another choice."
He was right of course. As much as Virgil hated it. If they did it Roman at least had a chance of survival, however slim. If they didn't...well Virgil didn't see a scenario where Roman got out alive.
"Damn it." Virgil cursed, begrudgingly taking the smallest square of ambrosia he could find. He held it up to Roman's lips who obligingly ate it, understanding he needed to conserve as much energy as possible.
They waited a few seconds for it to kick in. Roman schooled his face into one of determination and began to run through songs in his head.
"Go for finding Logan and Patton. I don't think I can carry back to camp," Virgil suggested and sat against the tree next to Roman, their shoulders pressed together. He was exhausted but he still wanted to be close enough in case something happened.
He winced at the movement, his hand coming up to his ribs as he hissed in pain. Roman looked at him questioningly but Virgil rolled his hand to get him going.
"Don't make fun of me for the song alright? It's the only thing I can think of."
"No promises."
"And I'll probably pass out after this so-"
"Just get on with it Sir Sing-A-Lot."
Roman took a breath and began to sing. Virgil had no clue what he was expecting, but he was pretty sure it wasn't Gotta Find You from fucking Camp Rock.
"I need to try to get to where you are," Roman sang. "Could it be you're not that far. You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing. I need to find you, I gotta find you. You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me. I need to find you, I gotta find you."
His voice got weaker and weaker as he sang, to the point where by the end even Virgil could barely hear it.
Then Roman slumped over and Virgil caught him, propping him against the tree as best he could, but Roman still ended up leaning on him.
Virgil looked around and began to panic, as it seemed like nothing has happened.
He blinked and there it was, a ball of light almost like fire just floating there.
And then it zipped off through the woods, leaving a trail of light behind it.
A few seconds later:
Logan and Patton had found the other two serkets and had managed to dispatch them.
They weren't unscathed, but since they had managed to take the serkets by surprise instead of the other way around, they were much better off than Roman and Virgil.
Both were shocked when suddenly a ball of what looked like fire burst out of the trees and stopped in front of Patton then just…hovered there.
The two shared a curious look, having a conversation without words. Eventually Logan nodded and Drew his daggers as Patton turned to the ball.
Slowly he reached his hand out toward it, closing his eyes just before he made contact with it, preparing to be burned or worse. Instead he heard some sort of shimmer and opened his eyes just in time to see the ball explode into an image of Virgil and Roman leaning against a tree.
Roman had bandages wrapped around his torso that we're already covered in blood and was pale as snow, Virgil was covered in scratches and bruises and seemed to be gingerly cradling his ribs.
Patton gasped audibly at the image, his hand flying up to his mouth while Logan cursed under his breath.
"Patton, look," Logan said, pulling Patton's gaze from the image in front of him and to the glittery trail leading into the woods that the ball had left behind.
The two looked at each other again.
"You don't think…?" Patton trailed off.
"One of Roman's spells," Logan agreed with a firm nod. "He's leading us to them."
"We have to hurry!"
"Agreed."
The two sprinted into the woods.
#logan#logicality#patton#prinxiety#roman#sanders sides#sanders sides au#sanders sides demigod au#sanders sides patton#sanders sides roman#sanders sides virgil#thomas sanders#virgil#demigod au#logicality au#prinxiety au#sanders sides logan#the forest incident
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
20 Questions for 2020
I got tagged by @bumblequinn and tumblr hasn’t been my #main #platform for a while so I miss these things and I never pass up the opportunity to read about people and share about myself x3
1. Do you make your bed?
no lol
in all honesty, sometimes. it makes me feel better when I do. But I like to just jump out of bed and get working when I can
2. Favorite number?
love 6... love 16 as well. 6 is a nice number. divisible by 2 AND 3. Honorary odd number. 16 is a nice 2^2^2 or 4^2 or 2^4.. nice round number.
3. What’s your job?
I’m not working currently but I’m due to start working at a software consulting company a month from now... I don’t wanna be rude but I’m looking for other opportunities in the meantime x3
4. If you could, would you go back to school?
definitely not for computer science. They don’t teach you anything a programming job expects of you. IF I went back to school it would be for philosophy. Philosophy’s the only thing that makes me feel like I’m doing something real (ironic when you consider philosophy’s public image). I took a few philosophy classes, 2 entry level and 1 upper level. They were the most impactful and the most far reaching classes who had a real and legitimate connection with me as a person I ever took. I’d pay just to have those experiences again. Everyone deserves those kinds of experiences.
5. Can you parallel park?
Kinda? I mean I did it when I took my first driving test, but I haven’t tried in a few years and I don’t have a license so I don’t really have the opportunity to tell.
6. A job you had which would surprise people?
I’m sure they’d be surprised that in my 4.5 years of college I never pursued work til my last semester hahaha
7. Do you think aliens are real?
I’m sure by all statistical likelihood they’d have to be... but the universe is a huge place. And human’s lives are short, compared to our modes of travel. We haven’t seen any simply because we can’t, in our lifetimes, drive out far enough to see them. And they probably haven’t visited us because... I mean we’re a tiny dot in the middle of a trillion stars. It’s like finding a single grain of sand on the beach. It’s just hard. I gotta give em a break for that...
8. Can you drive a manual car?
no...
9. Tattoos?
okay this one’s a toughie for me! I want, at some point in my life, to be covered in tatoos. I think it’s just a beautiful look. But also! I can’t think of anything meaningful enough to me to put on my skin. Let alone a dozen or a hundred of meaningful images to put all over my body. So I’m stuck on that...
10. Favorite color?
I love purple. I love honest, muted, natural colors. My favorite pallet is purples and grays. Maybe black too. I love cloudy skies, smoky rooms, and furniture faded with use. I like pastels that just seem to add to the scene, to paint the scene with a subtle hue, soft colors that diffuse outward and bring a certain quality to the entire area instead of bold colors that just draw the eye to the single colored object... je ne sais quoi.
11. What’s your guilty pleasure?
I love comfort food. I feel like a child whenever I eat anything that isn’t like ... complex. Granted I love complex foods too (indian cuisine particularly is my favorite) but there’s a special place in my heart (and my stomach!) for like. Candy and mcdonald’s and sodas and stuff.
12. Things people do that drive you crazy?
blatant contrarianism. People who just pick the worst hills to die on, all the time, forever. Their entire public image is hatefulness. It’s so so tiring I don’t know how they do it. Are you happy? Do you enjoy this?
Another thing I can‘t stand is people who think they’ve got everything figured out. Not so much people who claim to know things, but people who claim to have some mental framework that covers ... everything. And often they’re wrong!! But, of course, according to their own mental framework, they’re right and everyone else just hasn’t figured it out yet. Insufferable.
13. First thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a theoretical physicist pretty much up until I got to middle school and discovered programming. I like math and science, I still do. Computer science at its highest level is basically just applied math with a bit of imagination. Theoretical physics is... kinda the same thing too. Except instead of computers you have stars and atoms. Just subject material. Same mental space. Same abstraction of nature that becomes a sort of nature in itself.
14. Favorite childhood sport?
Okay I loved the variation of soccer I used to play in elementary school where the athletic kids would play actual soccer and me and the other unathletic kids would just slowly walk around the field and give a kick here and a kick there...
15. Do you talk to yourself?
Yes! All the time. Mostly when other people aren’t around. It helps me realize and catalogue my thoughts because otherwise my brain moves too fast to keep up :3
16. What movie do you adore?
I think my favorite movie ever was kimi no na wa or Your Name. It had AMAZING pacing, AMAZING visuals, AMAZING characters and the plot was just so incredibly written and everything was so well tied together and everything came at just the right time and the conclusion was so so so fucking satisfying I dsajkfghdf UGH
and the SOUNDTRACK!!! FUCK!!!!
17. Do you like doing puzzles?
Big ADHD feel. I love puzzles. I love puzzle based games. I love the elation of figuring something out. I love puzzles so much, in fact, that I kinda think of everything I do as a puzzle in some way... Programming is definitely a puzzle. Finding all the pieces that fit together - except, you get to design the pieces!! But now >:3 the burden is on you to make it elegant and adaptable. Anyone can hack something together but the REAL puzzle is designing a system that both solves a problem and does it in a way that’s efficient and Also elegant and easy to use. Puzzles within puzzles.... ohhhhhhhfh I love thissssss
18. Tea or coffee?
100% coffee. I drink tea but I’m not a ‘tea person’. I love coffee so much. Black coffee. Lattes. Starbucks sweet coffee concoctions. Espresso. Coffee from all around the world. God Do I Love Coffee.
My favorite coffees tend to be from asia, currently I’m really liking sumatra mandheling. I love coffees that taste like dirt. Rich, earthy, complex. Real dark and real bold. Usually those are from asia. I’m okay with african coffees but they tend to be really deep and fruity, sometimes even chocolatey, which, is real hit or miss for me. If you’re from america usually you’ll have south american coffees which tend to be light, woody, nutty sometimes. They’re usually too light for my taste but sometimes they really really hit. Gross generalizations aside, I love trying out every coffee and there’s more exceptions that blow my mind than anything else. I don’t think I’ve ever had a coffee I actually didn’t like, just many I like better. In any case I just love coffee!!!
19. Phobias?
Ocean. Don’t like big bodies of water that I can’t see down. Also there’s weird stuff in there. I don’t know how people just hang out at the beach with crabs and urchins and crawdads and jellyfish and sharks and riptides I’m just scared out of my mind!!! This is their land!! Not mine!!
20. Favorite kind of music?
Alternative rock of all sorts. Shoegaze, grunge, post-rock, math rock, electronic rock, emo... I also love hardcore and post-hardcore as well. A lot of metal does it for me but also a lot doesn’t so it comes and goes. I love music with a strong groove and complex textures. Me big ADHD so I like to tap along in weird and complex ways so it really helps if the meter is weird and complex already x3
Big runner up is hip hop and pre-2000s edm. Big groove, heavy on the swing, lots of samples, really rich. Future funk also falls under this category even though it’s modern.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Inevitable Part Where It Asks You To Tag 5 People
Feel free to pass up on this but here we go!
@mothman @bobbybobertson @exowave1 @reydiantskyes @sylvium-z and p much everyone else who follows me! I’d love to hear more from everyone else :3
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi il your gifs! can you give a tutorial??
Wow thanks so much! 💖💖Under the read more, I managed to put together a gif tutorial that I (hope) makes sense. Let me know if you have any questions. I rambled a lot in this and wrote most of it at like 1:30 in the morning, so apologies in advance if it gets weird lmao.
Keep in mind, I have been using photoshop for years, but I really have only been making gifs for like, 8 months and I still think I can improve in soooo many ways. But, that being said we all gotta start somewhere!
Let’s make a gif!
Alright, y’all. Let’s make a fucking gif. You will need:
Photoshop. Kind of a given lol. I use Photoshop CC 2018 and I pay 9.99 a month for the photoshop/lightroom package that you can get online from Adobe. I used to use a downloaded version that I found on tumblr for the longest time as well. So if you don’t want to pay monthly, there are free versions out there that work. Just download at your own risk!
A basic knowledge of photoshop. In this tutorial, I’m just gonna assume you have used photoshop before and know how to use its basic features. If not, I’d recommend finding some beginner photoshop tutorials to help you out! Also you can totally feel free to shoot me any questions if you need me to clarify anything, and I’ll do my best to answer them!
Patience and practice. Making gifs can be frustrating and tedious sometimes. If you don’t love what you’re making or aren’t having fun with it, it can be really difficult. I literally love making gifs for some weird reason, which is really the number one reason why I make them. Also, remember that every gif isn’t gonna come out perfect. I make so many gifs and then look back and think ugh that coloring was awful wtf was I thinking?? But it’s important to keep practicing and keep at it because that’s how you’re gonna get better!
Alrightyyyyy let’s get started!
STEP ONE: Download your video. You’re gonna need the video of whatever you’re trying to gif saved to your computer. If you’re giffing a video from youtube/social media or something, there are a bunch of different websites out there that will download videos for you. However, I’m a fucking weirdo and usually just screen record whatever I want to gif because I just think it’s easier. I use Quicktime to screen record which is included on Macs!
We’re gonna be making a gif of my angel rookie Brett Howden for this tutorial. I just screen recorded his postgame video that I wanted to use and saved it in 1080p.
[PRO TIP: Keep in mind, if you want your gifs to look nice and HQ, it starts with a high quality video, and that means, using videos that are 1080p. I very rarely will gif anything in 720p, unless it’s something I really really want to gif, and I def won’t use anything below 720p because it just looks really low quality no matter how much you try to edit it, imo.]
STEP TWO: Open photoshop and go to file -> import -> video frames to layer and this window will pop up
These are the settings I use. I choose selected range only so that it will only select what I want it to, and not the whole video. I also limit to every 2 frames because for the most part, using every frame is unnecessary. See those little toggle icons at the bottom of the screen that I’ve circled in red? Drag those around to select what part of the video you want to gif. Then click ok.
Here’s what you’ll get once you hit ok.
As you can see, your timeline with all your frames are on the bottom. On the right are all the layers!
STEP THREE: Select all the frames, and set your frame delay. The frame delay basically just controls how fast or slow your gif is gonna move.
Select all the frames and click on the bottom of one of the frames (where i’ve awkwardly circled in red) and you should get the dropdown menu shown above. Click other. I almost always choose 0.07 for my delay because it’s not too fast and not too slow and that’s how we want our gifs to look, right? 0.07 is a good starting point and you can always adjust slightly if need be. I wouldn’t recommend going below 0.05 because it’ll look way too fast.
STEP FOUR: Convert that shit. We’re gonna convert to a video timeline by clicking the button in the lefthand corner of your timeline window. I’ve circled it in red. Make sure all your frames are still selected!
Then we’re gonna convert the layers for smart filters. This makes it easy to edit and color the gif because it’ll basically condense all the layers into one. Select all your layers and go to filter -> convert for smart filters. Bam, converted.
STEP FIVE: Crop and resize your gif!
Tumblr has specific dimension sizes that are pretty important when cropping your gifs, so you’ll have to decide what kind of gifset you’re making. If you’re making a gifset with just one gif across (example), the width needs to be 540px. If you’re making a gifset with two gifs across (example), the width needs to be 268px. The height doesn’t matter and can be whatever ya want!
For this gif of Brett I’m going to be cropping it to 540x270 (my personal standard gif size that I use for gifsets with one gif across). After that, go to image -> image size and adjust the width and height to 540x270.
After all that crap, we’ve now got a very basic, unedited gif!
This gif looks okaaay, but looks kinda flat and plain and dull. Which brings us to……
STEP FIVE: The most important step, sharpening and coloring.
To sharpen your gif, go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen
I use the same settings as everyone on this website which is this:
This is what the gif looks like now. Brett is looking SHARP.
Sharpening is so important and it’s literally the best like look at how much better this gif looks already!! But we still gotta color it.
Coloring is a different ballgame than sharpening. Everyone has their own preferences on how to color and what they want their gifs to look like. There’s no right or wrong way to do it imo, as long as you like the way they look! Some people like really bright, vibrant gifs with whites so bright they’ll blind ya, and some like gifs with more muted colors. My personal preference depends on what I’m giffing and the lighting. If you look through my gifs you’ll see that my coloring changes depending on if it’s an on-ice video, a locker room interview or something else.
When I first started making gifs, I downloaded different psds from tumblr, which are basically just colorings you can download and use on your gifs. They’re a really great starting point if you have no idea what you’re doing and also just super convenient. A quick google search “tumblr psds” “tumblr photoshop resources” or even just searching “psds” on tumblr, will give you tons of stuff to choose from.
Anyway, if you’re not gonna use a premade psd, the two biggest settings that I use to color (and as a beginner they’re really the only settings you need to use) are brightness/contrast and selective coloring.
First, we’ll add some contrast. Go to layer -> new adjustment layer -> brightness/contrast. For the most part, my brightness/contrast settings stay the same and look like this:
My contrast almost always is set to 60. I’m all about high contrast in my gifs. My brightness setting is set to 0 in this gif because it’s already bright enough (just look at the light reflecting off Brett’s forehead lmao) Oftentimes I’ll set the brightness to 10 or 11 if the gif seems too dull or dark, but I usually won’t go higher than that. Just play with the setting until it seems right to you!
This is what it looks like now:
Looks good! But it still looks pretty yellow and Brett’s face is still too bright. This is where selective coloring comes in. Selective coloring basically helps you enhance or change specific colors in your gifs. It comes in handy a lot with videos that have shitty or weird lighting (looking at you, Rangers video department).
Go to layer -> new adjustment layer -> selective coloring. Like I said before, every gif is different so there’s no one specific way to set your selective coloring settings. My biggest thing with selective coloring is making sure the subject doesn’t look too yellow/red and enhancing the darker colors to create more depth/contrast. Play around with the colors until you like what you see!
And this gif is done! Brett looks beautiful and so does this gif. But we have one final step
STEP SIX: Save your gif.
To save your gif go to file -> export -> save for web (legacy) and this window will show up.
For your gif to work on tumblr the file needs to be under 3M otherwise when you post it, your gif will be frozen and won’t move and uh, that’s not ideal. The lower left hand corner will show you how large your gif is. Mine is 2.817M so we’re good.
Finally, please, please PLEASE make sure your looping options (found in the lower righthand corner) are set to forever.
If you don’t have your gif set to loop forever it literally will stop moving, so it’s real important you remember to check that it’s set to loop forever. One time I forgot to do that and now there’s a dumb gifset of Nolan Patrick that only loops once and then freezes and I didn’t notice it until it already got a bunch of notes and it’s just out there on fucking tumblr dot com and it drives me crazy and makes me so mad that I forgot to loop it. So don’t be like me and remember to loop your gifs! lol.
Anyway that’s the tutorial! I hope this helped! Again, sorry it’s so long and full of rambles. Remember you can ask me ANY questions you may have and I’ll do my best to help!
#asks#anonymous#gif tutorial#photoshop tutorial#i really hope this helped!#i probably rambled too much#long post
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Batman #87
James Tynion IV and Guillem March team up to make me stop buying Batman.
Part of me just wants to write "UGH!" and be done with reviewing this comic book. But another part of me is hungry. But still another part of me, the one that is against just typing "UGH!", is outraged that I just paid five dollars for a regular issue of Batman because of a stupid glossy and thick cover and that part of me demands that I vent more fully. And yet that's not even why I'm fucking livid! That's just my first and most shallow complaint! I'd prefer if DC Comics just gave me a regular issue of Batman with a regular comic book cover and simply printed on that cover, "We know this is the exact same quality comic book that we'd sell for $3.99 usually but it has Batman in it which means it will sell way more copies than the other issues we sell and we want that sweet, sweet extra dollar per issue windfall!"
Complaint #2: The Riddler believes that a riddle without a solution is the greatest riddle.
Never mind that Guillem March drew The Riddler naked while he's thinking about the greatest riddle ever while on weapons grade amphetamines and he has no visible erection. That's a minor side complaint that I simply assume was on everybody's list of things wrong with this issue. But the revelation that James Tynion IV doesn't understand the concept of riddles is beyond criticism. It's post-critical! The entire purpose of a riddle is that it has a fucking clever answer! A riddle with no answer is a mystery and The Riddler isn't called The Mysteryer! A riddle with no answer is something The Mad Hatter might be into but not The Riddler, Mr. Scott-Snyder-Lite IV! And before some Riddler-loving cuck nerd decides to argue that what Tynion meant was that The Riddler loves a super duper challenging riddle, let me say this: "Then he should have fucking wrote that in the dialogue, shouldn't he have? Not that a 'riddle with no solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' But 'a riddle with a fucking super tough and challenging solution' is 'a riddle befitting a riddler.' Now go jerk off to your tepid Riddler sex role play Tumblr blog."
Just an aside about my use of the word 'cuck': it's just fucking funny to use! The only good thing the terrible incel Internet community (unless I mean the MRA community (unless I mean the PUA community (it probably doesn't matter. They probably mostly share the middle area in a Venn diagram))) has done for this world is to bring back the insult "cuck." I don't even care about using it in the historically accurate way! I don't actually care if Riddler fans' spouses have a little extra side of ass on the down low. It's just fun to say! Plus, if you say it to the kind of person who actually thinks "cuck" is a scathing insult, they get super fucking angry when called one! It's Goddamned hilarious.
Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Riddler.
Yes, yes. March fixes my whole "The Riddler doesn't have a visible erection" problem from the first scan by implying one with his Riddle Wand here. But the main problem is why did March think The Riddler suddenly needed to look like Bernie Wrightson's Anton Arcane? The Riddler has always just been a skinny creep who was so into getting punched in the face by a muscular man in a bat costume that he planted clues that would ensure it happened. But I guess March has decided that his obsession needed to be mirrored in his physical appearance? Or is it a kind of pervasive attitude that Batman is such a scary and serious fucking cartoon hero that his villainous gallery of rogues has to be just as wickedly serious and horrific? Sometimes it feels like fans still feel as if the Batman television show was some kind of pernicious poison that, to this day, needs continual application of anti-toxin. "Batman isn't silly and his villains shouldn't be either," scream the rabid base of comic book fans that take this shit way too seriously.
Hey! Fuck you! I'm angry for valid reasons and not stupid comic book fan reasons! Don't try to use my own words against me!
Complaint #3: Guillem March's depiction of The Penguin.
See my previous argument for Complaint #2. Although there's a history of making The Penguin as creepy and fucked up as possible because nobody needs the image of Burgess Meredith playing The Penguin to already come to the conclusion that a short dapper fat man with a bird obsession isn't the most intimidating villain, even with the mob attitude and homicidal tendencies.
Complaint #4: Batman and Catwoman's banter.
My main complaint with this conversation is that Batman and Catwoman never once argue about whether they met on a boat or on the street. I thought that was how they always began conversations! Also, they don't call each other "Bat" and "Cat." I'm sure a lot of people are thrilled about this change. But to me, it's a slow reset to getting them back to a relationship that denies the strength of their love and commitment to each other. They're slipping back into professional modes of communication! Next thing you know, we'll find out that Alfred didn't really die! It was Clayface the entire time and Alfred simply let people believe he was dead so he could have a peaceful vacation for once in his long life of servitude to an obsessed man-boy with too much money.
Okay, that's enough poking fun at Tom King and the people who hated Tom King. I'm sure I'll get my fill of the Bat/Cat relationship whenever King's Bat Loves Cat comic book comes out. Let me be serious about my complaint in this paragraph (although not the kind of serious where I'm a comic book fan taking shit too seriously! The kind of "serious" where I pretend to be in an apoplectic rage which convinces a number of casual readers into thinking things like "This fucking Lobo fanboy wants to fuck Lobo in the face" and "Why is this nerd so obsessed with Supergirl's butthole? Can't he get a real woman down at the real club where he probably dances like a fucking dreamboat?"). Batman is supposed to be the World's Greatest Detective and yet he engages in stupid retorts like "What makes you think I don't have that device?" You fucking imbecile! What makes her think that was expressly stated by Catwoman when she said you wouldn't have needed to ask her if she was still with the body! Also, even Batman can't have that technology because it would take magic to use that technology and Batman is against magic which is why he keeps Kryptonite on hand to defeat Superman instead of the Ace of Winchesters.
Side Complaint #4: Guillem March draws asses in the uncanny valley. He wants you to know they're sexy asses that do more than poop and fart. But he tries too hard to make them sexy and they fall into the uncanny valley of sexy asses. Those are asses where you go, "No, no. I can see that that ass is sexy but I am not in any way going to put my tongue into it."
Complaint #5: The villains' plan is so complex that it relies on things that couldn't have been planned for happening.
This is a standard complaint of mine and such a comic book trope that I probably should have gotten over being upset by it twenty years ago. I suppose it's why I stopped reading comic books for ten of those twenty years though. A bunch of assassins planned to get caught so that one of them could escape so that Batman would be distracted by that one while the others escaped. Batman falls for it although this time there's a twist to a plan so well planned that it works no matter what the hero does: this plan was stolen! This plan was originally the Penguin's plan and he recognized it when the first part fell into place: five assassins came to Gotham and were caught by Batman. Yeah, see? That was part of this stupid plan! So at least The Penguin is going to interfere with this awesome plan. Although, being that the plan was so well planned, the person who stole the plan probably planned for The Penguin to recognize the plan and to interfere. So The Penguin interfering is probably now part of the overall plan.
Complaint #6: Batman builds a prison that even he can't get out of which means Deathstork gets out of it immediately.
Every time, right? Every time a hero does something that is super duper foolproof to the nth degree of foolproofness, they get fooled! Fool the DC villains once, shame on the DC villains. Fool the DC Villains twice, and, well, you know what? That's never actually happened because they've never actually been fooled once. They only get fooled in the ultimate issue of a story arc when the hero decides maybe they should redouble their efforts and buck up their willpower and believe in themselves slightly more than they did in the previous five issues.
Complaint #7: A Cheshire-sized clay body double was captured by Batman, hauled into custody by police, and locked up without anybody noticing.
Batman uses the word "clay" so I'm assuming we're supposed to believe this is some kind of non-Clayface clayface body double? Some kind of mindless automaton that walks and moves and blinks and breathes and acts exactly like a living person? Sure, it's not presented in that way. But the audience has to assume some level of intelligent trickery went down here or else they're going to read this and think, "Batman was fooled by a squishy, drippy sex doll? This is worse for the Batman mythos than when Kevin Smith had Batman confess to peeing his pants!"
Complaint #8: Both Deathstork and Cheshire tell Batman they're "playing a game."
Why do they call their terrible and vicious crimes a game? It's bullshit to make everything the villains do some kind of contest pitted against Batman. It inherently makes super hero comics less about trying to make the world a better place and more about how heroes are the cause of all of the trouble because the villains' only ever expressed motive is to best the heroes. It's lazy and ultimately damaging to the entire medium. Yes, I said the entire medium! That's not hyperbole! But that was facetiousness!
Complaint #9: Cheshire wears see-through undies and we never get to see them from the front.
Okay fine. Not all of March's asses are in the uncanny valley. That one is staunchly in the valley of cans. Sweet, sweet cans.
Complaint #10: Batman kills Cheshire.
Sure, sure. Cheshire is still talking after getting creamed by a semi truck so Batman didn't really kill her. But he should have killed her doing this and the only way we accept that she isn't dead after smashing her face into an advancing semi is because we, the reader, know Batman doesn't kill. Maybe Batman lovers would defend this as an accident brought on by Cheshire herself. But then what is Batman's defense in letting her get smashed by a truck instead of saving her from being smashed by a truck in the amount of time it takes him to smugly say, "Brace yourself"? This fits into my belief that Batman has killed dozens of people but they die later at the hospital after which he can pin the deaths on the doctors who failed to save them from the mortal injuries Batman gave them.
Side Complaint #10: Cheshire's last words are asking Batman how he survived her poison. I mean, she's obviously dying here and that's all she cares about? I would think she'd be all, "Tell my daughter I love her! ACK!"
Batman #87 Rating: C. I think I made my points. My main problem now is that I've declared I'm going to stop buying Batman but I'm not the sort of person who avoids staring at train wrecks.
1 note
·
View note
Note
Due to everything going on with the rope geek right now, and I've seen you reblog posts that share the sentiment he isn't handling things well, and also posts that are essentially defending him (as well as defending him in your own posts). So maybe you can understand why it left me a little confused as to where you stand. I was wondering if you were still planning on doing a photo shoot with him? If so, why?
i had two automatic responses to this ask:
man, good timing! i was just abt to update theropegeek saga (saga saga saga—it echoed in my head sooo)
why do you care at all where i stand? simply curious? or will it help you determine how you feel about me? whether you follow my blog or block me or reblog from me anymore? i am most curious if you’re feeling amicable
but ok so i got a two fold answer for the question tho:
a step by step log of what happened & a “what i learned” reflection lol
neato–i know!
ok so
step 1: i receive an ask saying i should block trg b/c he’s a fatphobic asshole step 2: i respond w/ support b/c i didn’t know anything at all abt his comments @ that point; the interactions i had w/ him (via messaging & his blog) were positive. i had seen diversity on his page. (was it a shit ton of diversity? no. do i think we all have to reblog just the same? also no so yah)step 3: i receive a couple of private messages saying this is what’s going on with trg w/ posts of his statements
concerning one message, the person & i are mutuals but don’t talk much
we discuss the very cringey wording & i decided i should prob speak w/ trg. see if i can explain why what he said was problematic/see if i believe him to be said fatphobic asshole
the other message i received from a mutual i did speak w/ more frequently & basically the outcome there was…we aren’t cool anymore b/c you can’t agree w/ me abt this right now (this actually happened x 2)
so i’m like, cool, i feel bad abt that but like, i rly thought trg just needed some perspective & i didn’t wanna ostracize him w/o knowing for sure he should be scarlet letter’d
step 4: i message trg to say
hey, so here’s the issue w/ what you said
like, if something doesn’t directly affect you, it isn’t rly a concern of yours? cringe. think abt that
so you don’t care for anyone else’s struggles but yours? & it like, does affect you b/c it’s about the rope community, which you’re a part of
imagine if you’re like the cool rope guy to someone out there who isn’t represented often in rope & basically you just said don’t care, not my prob
he goes ok i see where you’re going. what if i said this? he explains what he said but w/ an analogy…he doesn’t say anything abt admitting what he said was wrong; simply rewording what he said
me–oh hm well that’s not the response i expected. maybe i should stop involving myself– idk trg very well. we’ve exchanged a handful of messages abt working together. he seems like an alright guy. i don’t think he’s anywhere near dangerous like thepureskin or prettyperversion; just immature & stubborn…in need of eye-opening
step 5: ask advice of another blogger. it’s helpful but i’m still on the fence.
so it’s time for the big guns: ask Daddy (i try not to bother him with tumblr drama b/c we have Very Full irl schedules)
so i go to DM like ok so should i keep trying to explain to trg what the dealio is or should i just stop now & save myself the trouble?
DM, doesn’t even look up from writing an email: will you be satisfied if you stop now?
me–FUCK *stomp stomp stomp*
step 6: message trg again & explain why rewording is not a solution
me: you don’t want to say NO U GUYS MISUNDERSTOOD
you wanna explain that you know you were wrong & explain why/how you know that & that you can & will do to be better
him: i totally hear you & i’m hashing out a contest idea w/ this cool chick
me: mmm nope…that’s not a good idea. that’s like…a band aid.
like, again you need to explain you understand WHY you were wrong. you need to explain that you care. i mean you can still do the contest but that alone isn’t the answer. ask your followers to send you diversity in rope. follow said diverse bloggers & grow, etc
him: i don’t want to receive & reject an influx of low quality images tho*
me:
also me: yah i mean ok but dude you care more about “quality” control than being inclusive/thoughtful/considerate/open
ugh we don’t see eye to eye here. it’s more than i can or wanna handle rly ok? sorry
*people will want to crucify over this sentiment but the truth is we all prefer clearer pictures w/ nice angles & thoughtful composition, etc so there’s nothing wrong with this BUT there’s something not quite friendly about caring more about “quality” control than about diversity in a field you’re passionate about.
summary
so in the end, i lost 3 mutuals i thought were cool & got a nice headache
so no, i won’t be working with him. why? b/c i made an effort to help & he couldn’t even say yeah i was wrong so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
so what did dcn learn?
to mind my own fucking business. to avoid connecting with others. to not stick out my neck. to not attempt to help or reach out to anyone who might learn & grow as a person. to fucking delete this god forsaken app & never return.
no i’m kidding. it does make me feel that way but what i rly learned was that…sometimes shit happens so you can find out who people are
& that’s ok. like, that’s life w/e i’m gonna go get high
also ALSO– i received a few messages of love too & i rly appreciate the kind of people who reach out to just provide a word of support & positivity
that means so much & i can’t rly thank you properly💕💕thank you very much
so anyway…tumblr is kooky dude.
20 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
grantera
georg
andyparkart
Andy Park Art
bellasposame
No Under 18s. Just things I Like!
finding-the-daylight
Finding the Daylight
