Hot take: DNI lists are childish.

Neil reblogged a post and I muse about fandom pipelines…

I woke up to absolute chaos on my lawn again—in excess of nearly 1,500 notes. Took me a hot sec, but this time I got fairly quickly that Neil reblogged one of my posts again (the last time it happened, I was much more confused). And while that’s always super fun (of all the posts, it had to be one with the #murphy and his cool hat-tag 🙈. Also: Thanks Neil for my shredded inbox—I was sleeping and couldn’t switch off notes. So if any of you are waiting on replies or anything, forget it right now, can’t find anything 🤣), it also made me reflect. You know me, I always have to turn everything into an essay, so here goes…

The post in question was a couple of days old and already sat in the 400 notes range before Neil hit the chaos button. I have posted some of Vince’s art before, most notably the sister piece to this one (which I personally think is a more accomplished work of art, but that’s personal taste). As you can tell, none of them have near as much engagement. No surprises there.

My blog is small, but not tiny (4 figure amount of followers). Pretty pictures always get engagement, but mostly when they’re Murphy or Death (I don’t post shipping content because despite ample shitposts, I created this blog with the goal of source material appreciation and deeper engagement with it). The odd one of Delirium or Desire breaks through, BUT…

I often read that people care about all the characters of the Sandman, even (!, ha) the female ones. My blog is mostly rooted in the comics with the odd journey into the show (you won’t find too much fan-content about the actors here), so I try to post about ALL the characters, even “obscure” ones, and tag accordingly. Of course I have my own preferences, and there’s obviously also much more art centring Morpheus than, say, Despair (which also supports the point I’ll try to make), but I make an effort to dig and/or write for it, be that art of Destiny or Lyta or a meta about Desire or Lucien/ne. And especially the writing can feel discouraging and somewhat self-perpetuating, because if you spend whatever time you have left in your day on creating content that no one is interested in because it’s not centred around one or two favourite characters (because they always get engagement on here, and I’m sometimes not sure if people even truly digest them—some of the tags/comments suggest they don’t), you simply reassess if you shouldn’t do something else with that time. Or you keep on writing about one favourite character because… you might as well.

But when something like this happens, I notice one thing: Most people so obviously don’t search the tags. They get their content from one or two (or a handful of) blogs and content curators. Neil is obviously different in the way a post takes off, but I also see this on a smaller scale regularly:

People say they care about Sandman characters other than Morpheus (and “the other one”), but hardly any posts about them (bar Death and *maybe* Delirium and even *more maybe* Desire) get any engagement off the bat. Often not even from people I know are fans. And of course we’re not all online 24/7 and things slip through, but these are visible trends, not just singular occurrences, when you run a blog like mine.

Because that content is right there, in the tags, if you only look for it.

If people checked the tags of the characters they supposedly care about, they would find them, even if the posts are not as plentiful. And every so often (read: hardly ever, but it has happened once or twice), one of the bigger shipping blogs will reblog a post about those characters. And guess what? Immediate engagement. Slay Queen! 🙄

But many, many people don’t look for them. They find them on their dash because they follow certain blogs and let them curate stuff for them. Fair enough, it’s at least partly how Tumblr works. But that’s also how the fandom pipeline works. And the fandom pipeline is biased.

Call me slow, but if people profess their love for all the characters and especially the women of the Sandman, why don’t they check their tags? Because if you run a blog with half-decent engagement like mine, it becomes so immediately obvious where the engagement comes from:

Posts about Murphy: Almost always directly via my blog AND reblogs. The former means through my followers and tags. And I can see that a decent amount comes through tags, because not everyone who reblogs from my blog follows me. So for Dream, people do check the tags (although: pictures always do better than metas, and thirst-trap pictures do a lot better than more artistic and abstract takes. Fics? Bwahaha, you’re joking. I don’t write Dre@mling, reader-inserts or smut, so no chance).

Posts about Death and Delirium: Yeah, maybe? Occasionally? Especially the “pretty” ones. Especially the ones that sideline them a bit and still centre Murphy in some way (and I understand how hard it is not to do that, because in the grand scheme of things, it is his arc we’re following. He is the central character, even if not in all storylines, and we don’t need to pretend he’s not and be angry about it either).

Posts about everyone else: Hahaha, nope. UNLESS a big (shipping) blog reposts them. Which hardly ever happens.

So is it really true that people care about the female characters (or any characters other than Morpheus and the one that shan’t be named) if they don’t even check their tags? If they only get their content from a handful of blogs that are so clearly biased towards two characters?

Don’t get me wrong, I have my favourites, too. And that’s totally okay. We’re all allowed to like what we like, it’s not about that. But we can’t be in denial about the fact that the majority (I’m not saying everyone) of fandom engages with The Sandman purely through a shipping lens, so I guess I personally just wish people would reflect more on how the fandom pipeline works. People are commonly told to create what they want to see etc. But what’s so totally obvious is that most people don’t even look for other characters via the tags. They let other people do the work for them. And if those blogs don’t post diversity apart from the odd token female character, guess what happens?

Long story short: I’m a big advocate for getting into the habit of checking the tags for more than just one or two characters (and I know some people do, so this is rather a general observation). And to check the tags regularly, even for the characters we like most if they are the more popular ones; it works the same for them, as reblogs by people like Neil always show. Because that post was already there for days, but the majority of people bar the first 300-400 did NOT find it through the tags.

Echo chambers are the death of different and critical opinions about anything. Even female characters; the fandom pipeline works for them, too. It’s just that far fewer people are interested outright, but the narrative in any fandom gets controlled by the most vocal blogs for any character.

And maybe that’s the former scientist in me speaking, but:

Bias is not the problem. We all have it. And as long as we’re aware of it, it’s okay. The problem starts when we let it work the pipeline until nothing else is left. And the easiest way to avoid that is not to rely on just a couple of favourite blogs for content.

-One Rule Above All - just don't be a dick. Don't bring drama onto my page. Don't pressure me aggressively for replies (but do poke me if it's been a while!). Don't be rude in my ask box/inbox/comments. This is all common sense stuff and the fastest way to get blocked. - 21+ preferred, 18+ mandatory. I will not roleplay with ageless or underage blogs. I will block you on sight if you are a minor. Nothing personal, just uncomfortable. -Mental and physical health restrictions mean that sometimes I will need to take a day (or a few) off from responses. I don't always have the energy needed to write. Sometimes I will only take off from big plots and answer asks or smaller threads. Please don't hound me if you see me "active" but I haven't responded to yours yet. I will also usually be open for chatting and plotting even if I don't have the energy for responses! Don't be afraid to shoot me a message. I'll answer if I have the ability to. I always take -one- day a week to spend off of tumblr for adulting/breathing room/to combat burnout. I will usually still be available on discord on those days, though not always. -Even if you have me on Discord. I *DO NOT* do chat-style RPs. They take up too much time and focus and I simply don't have the energy to devote to them. I prefer para-rp even if it is only a paragraph or two. Exceptions will be made from time to time, and you are not required to match my length be it long or short. My length will vary depending on the story, my muse, and the energy I have. -Mun =/= Muse This is a fictional space. Dark content is not supported or endorsed by the mun, it is just interesting to write. Curate your own space. Unfollow or block me, I won't take it personal. This blog is full of triggering and dark content. Pay attention to the tags. I have a list of trigger tags to block if you would like to avoid it on my page specifically.  I *do* reblog and write Trash Party content. It will be tagged under my Hydra content tag if this is a triggering problem for you.  I would still like to write with you! I will make my dash as safe for you as I can, or we can write on Discord if that makes you more comfortable. -I love shipping! It's a ton of fun and I love exploring relationships with my muse. I ship via chemistry. So let me know and we can talk it out!  Please do not assume your muse has a relationship with mine. The only muses I will accept an assumed relationship starter/ask/etc from are Steve and Natasha. And even then I reserve the right to not answer it if it makes me feel uncomfortable. -NSFW - I will write a number of nsfw plots from smut to violence and torture. Yes I will RP *very* dark themes with you. Message me. Depending on how dark, I might suggest we move to Discord to avoid triggering anyone. These posts, however, sometimes take me a day or two to respond to as they take a lot of energy for me to write. I apologize in advance. Reminder that my portrayal of Bucky is *submissive*. That headcanon is so ingrained into this muse that I can almost never write him as anything but submissive. If you are looking for an aggressive dominant Bucky, there are plenty around. I won't take it personally. -Communication is important to me. I would like to at least get to know the other muns I am writing with. We don't have to be besties, but I find chemistry works better if we can talk openly with each other. If you prefer we didn't, that's okay. But I ask for the bare minimum of relevant information to the RP. -No godmodding. I don't mind *minor* things for the flow of the plot, but anything other than that needs to be discussed first.  -My tag dump post is here. Most are self explanatory.  Tagging information can be found here. My Trigger Warning tags will be formatted like "tw ____". They will also have my blanket trigger warning tag if it has any warnings at all in it. 

-I *much* prefer to rp on Tumblr if at all possible. Moving to Discord is on a case by case basis. . I will *selectively * rp in private servers with people. If your plot is excessively triggering or dark, I will likely suggest we move it to a private server or my dark content server.  -This is more a warning than a rule. I do my best work being pulled into someone else's story. I enjoy bringing other people's plots to life. I am not to terribly good at coming up with my own unless something *loud* strikes me. Don't be blindsided if I ask for *your* plots instead of providing my own. 

If you got all the way to the end, THANK YOU. I know this was a lot to read and I appreciate you.

im gonna get the record straight and be completely transparent.

i have never lurked critblr or leaktwt. i barely know who any of these people are. if you're critblr and i have you blocked it's because you interacted with dtblr and your url sounded weird, and people fact checked what kind of people were under your likes. or in your following list. you guys don't really know how to be subtle

many of us have been here for long enough to know urls of the people who post the most fucked up posts, because once in a while you'll pop up on the based on your likes tab.

implying im in critblr is fucking insane. i can genuinely tell all of you the exact number of leaked info i know. the truth is if you're in dtblr and you recieve more than 3 asks a day you ARE gonna get freak anons bomb dropping leaks in your askbox. there's unfortunately very little way of modding that. we try our best by blocking but every single day we get harassed with information we don't fucking want.

i am not in charge of the fandom and i will never be. tumblr is the least fucking relevant site in the fandom hierarchy. i'm no god of the fandom i don't make the rules of the fandom and i am under any impression than im more important than any other blog in dtblr. my blog would be NOTHING without all the members of dtblr. i am not special i am not famous. it's not my fault people who don't like being active blogs come into my inbox to express themselves. i don't pretend to be any authority figure. i say shit and if you agree with me cool and if you don't, that's cool too.

i am so fucking sorry that some of you have a complex over blogs that get attention, but that's not my fault. i have been here for Years of course i'm gonna have a big number of followers. especially since october all dtblr has tried so hard to not become what it used to be, and if you have a complex that's on you. there's tens of blogs with very little followers who are amazing. because a following count means NOTHING.

it's crazy to tell me im only finding reasons to shittalk dizzy and alison. i didn't know dizzy prior to their gross behavior regarding the shit they write about and the people they're friends with. if you know me well enough you'd know i have 0 problems with saying i hate x person for whatever personal grudge. i have done that plenty of times. i don't have to hide behind any excuse to shittalk someone.

calling me petty is ridiculous. petty over what girl? i'm just here to vibe idgaf what other people are up to if it's harmless shit.

yet another clinically fucking insane statement to make. i very politely to invite you to scroll my blog and tell me where i have confirmed anything. the only things i have talked about are dream's ex and those "body issues". i have never verified any kind of leak and you're insane for thinking i have. i genuinely invite you to send me one of those instances you talk about.

in regards of "a bunch of blogs complaining" i'd love to know what kind of blogs you're talking about because as far as i know the only conversation that's happened before regarding this topic, was something extremely similar to what i'm saying right now and not at all close to verifying any kind of leak. if you get those blogs on your dash that's a you problem and you should curate your experience better, but don't drag me into it.

yes. all of this. yes.

i do apologize for the confusion. dizzy didn't write that fic but they did defend it and they've co-written together before.

i'm not a lurker and i don't know them, don't think i know all this information because i'm a stalker. i don't even know alison's tumblr. some of these people used to be friends. friends of a lot of people in the fandom. but you can only cover your behavior for so fucking long, and then people talk, and shit gets brought up.

both alison and dizzy have done more than morally incorrect things in the past for other fandoms. other than the choice of the kind of fics they write and bookmark, they both are 100% friends with people who discuss doxxes like it's top of the morning news. dizzy particularly was part of the phandom in the side of phannies who harassed and were weirdly invasive of their lives to the point where it affected their mental health.

again, read what you want like what you like but be aware that these are the people you're reading fics of. hey if you're one of them, kudos to you. but genuinely. don't even try to say they're not the kind of people im describing right now. people across different fandoms who have had the displeasure of knowing them will tell you the same thing.

Sincere question, your response to the like-scolding post doesn't make sense to me. I already reblog often, so I don't need convincing, but I also don't feel the need to convince others to and don't understand when people do.

If a blog was empty, you weren't going to follow them anyway. They have zero impact on your dash.

I don't understand why following the tags, following blogs that make stuff in the tags, using tumblr's orbit thing or blog suggestions wouldn't be anymore sufficient than asking strangers that may not even care who follows them to make your personal dashboard more interesting.

I was hesitant to answer this, because I try not to get too involved in general tumblr discourse and I already have had a few passive aggressive remarks about my response to that post. I don't wanna open myself up to hate here so please know that this is just my opinion at the end of the day. I am one person and I have been on tumblr a long time and my reasonings for all of this is simply that I love this stupid website and want it to thrive.

Let me start by clarifying that I have nothing against likes! Likes are great! Likes are exactly what it says on the tin - a way to tell someone that you like their post. So I didn't have an issue with the sentiment of the original post that likes are not meaningless and are instead a way to tell people that you like their stuff! That's great!

But your reasoning here is flawed because of how tumblr works. No matter how many likes someones post gets, if no one reblogs it it will dissapear into a void. Tumblrs tagging system is not great. Tumblr's "in your orbit" section is something that most people ignore and do not use. The userbase on tumblr finds posts by following blogs and relying on the blogs they follow to reblog posts. The posts that circulate far and wide on tumblr are posts that are reblogged by users. Posts that have plenty of likes do not help a post gain any extra traction or help spread it to those that may be interested in it. Posts that are just liked and not reblogged do not get circulated and will get forgotten about and never find their audience.

This isn't about lurker types who never reblog anything and therefore won't ever get followers (nothing against lurkers!), its about this strange mentality nowadays which tumblr never used to have which is that people seem to be more particular about the kind of posts they'll reblog. People seem more hesitant to reblog long posts, or writing posts, or anything that doesn't immediately grab their attention. There is an expectation that for a post to be reblogged it has to be of a higher quality that a post that you may reward a simple like.

I think it is heavily tied to cringe culture. There is a mentality that your blog should be heavily curated and therefore you should only reblog the highest of quality which you feel is worthy for your own blog - rather than just reblogging anything that you may like or find fun or interesting. It is very much an instagram mentality and its been creeping into tumblr over several years - and because of it, fandoms are dying, its far more difficult to find fandom content, and it is becoming much harder to engage and build community. People are hesitant to add comments onto reblogs nowadays - when back in the day that was kinda how tumblr worked! You reblogged with commentary and thats how legendary tumblr shitposts were born! That's how Supernatural fandom "always has a gif for that" started! Because back in 2014 people didn't care about what others on tumblr thought about their blogs, because their blogs were all about the fun, about committing to the bit, about engaging with each other and adding commentary and additions, and speculating about your favourite shows on long posts where you could have an entire community of meta writers each adding a bit of their own analysis so you ended up with a huge post that was absolutely mind blowing. That's how artists on tumblr could have thousands and thousands of notes and gain huge popularity and be able to make a living based on their fanart.

I miss it so. fucking. much.

This place is a graveyard sometimes. Even among my current fandom. I will post something and ask that people add commentary. I will state quite plainly for people to please engage and add their thoughts, let me know your opinions! There are no wrong answers! Lets joke, make fun of the characters we love, write dumb little thoughts and headcanons and engage with them via reblogs, add reaction gifs and images with speech bubbles and just soak up the joy that can be found in engaging with fandom in this way - and stop being scared that your reblogs will be judged by some external source, that you will somehow lose followers or make OP hate you if you dare to add a comment to their post (in which case OP can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned because I ADORE comments and additions on MY posts). Just ENGAGE. Because a like, whilst appreciated, is literally the bare minimum, and if all we are doing on this site is the bare minimum, then what is the fucking point anymore? If there is no real engagement and community, if you aren't interesting in actually talking to each other and sharing posts among each other and just interacting with each other, then tumblr will die. I find that so fucking depressing. So yeah, I had a bit of a moan on that post, because I don't think y'all newbies understand how good it used to be here. Quit with the instagram mentality and start actually engaging. Because if y'all actually listened and started doing that, you'll bring this place to life again, and find so much more joy in it.

TUMBLR NSFW ETIQUETTE 18+ ONLY

Welcome back to Tumblr. We missed you.

And a tentative welcome back to mature content. We missed our nipples even more.

These are not rules, but a pirates’ code on how to engage with content in a way that is inspiring and motivating to creators. These are not in any specific order either--all are important. I’ve been on NSFW Tumblr for aaaaaaaages, so these are things that jump out to me immediately.

1. Keep your comments in the tags: No one wants their post hijacked by a painfully horny comment that gets reblogged 10k times. Keeping your comments in the tags keeps the formatting of the original post intact but you still get to say how you feel. More of a secret note passed between people and it feels more intimate.

2. Fill your blog: Many Tumblr users are trained to spot porn bots from the years of dealing with them. To avoid getting caught in a bot sweep, fill out your blog a little. Put your age and pronouns in your bio, add a title that is NOT your username, pick an icon and header that are anything but the default Tumblr ones, and reblog posts occasionally so people know you are a living breathing human being. Avoid making URLs with a bunch of random numbers or words because they look like bots. Puns, raunchy words, or personal in jokes make the best usernames because the bots cannot replicate them. Make a pinned post about yourself or pin up a ridiculous meme that no robot could understand.

3. Curate your dashboard: Find blogs you like and block blogs you don’t. Click through the posts reblogged on your dash to find content they like and perhaps you will too! Utilize New Xkit or the post filtering to block content you don’t want to see. Ask creators who they follow! Search through their likes (if they are public).

4. Engage with your dashboard: Having a filled dash is good, but interacting with your dash is even better. Like AND reblog content you enjoy. Reply to posts, add commentary in the tags, send ask memes, become a secret admirer or dedicated anon to someone’s blog with your own personal emoji!

5. Respect user boundaries: Don’t ever assume or make things about you specifically. Remember that each icon has a human person behind it. If you want to be the center of attention, make your own content and text posts OR pay creators. Respect DNIs, especially those of NSFW blogs. Do not interact means no following, liking, reblogging, sharing, or even looking at said blog. There is no reason to try and weasel your way under someone’s boundaries. And trust me when I say, there are plenty of other porn blogs out there.

That’s all for now. Welcome, nasty freaks of the internet. We hope you have fun here.

So, consider this a friendly reminder (due to some crap that went down last night)

I will follow who I want to follow, and interact with who i want to interact with. I don't particularly CARE if they are seen as problematic by a community.

Why? Because I enjoy writing. I'm on this site to enjoy myself, to help myself be a better writer. The world is FULL of problematic material and people. It's just the way things are. It can't be sunshine and rainbows forever...and while it's nice to have a sunshine/rainbow blog that is in line with all the lovely trends and vices...it's just not feasible.

Sure, you can curate your space to your liking, but don't fucking dare tell me who I can and can't rp with, and turn around and make me choose between one person and the next. If you don't want to see a specific person on your dash, Tumblr Savior exists. I'm sure every person here has Xkit re-written or any of the other lovely tools to help curate your space to how you want it. Put in a url to Tumblr Savior and be done. And if someone doesn't tag a post? Politely ask them too.

If you don't LIKE the way I'm doing things, or who I'm rping with, then softblock me. Don't just unfollow, SOFTBLOCK ME. Mobile doesn't HAVE mutual checker, so If we aren't mutuals anymore because you just unfollowed me? I won't be able to tell when i'm on mobile. Which i am during the day.

People on this site really need to grow up. There's plenty of ways to curate your space and not start shit. But as i'm learning, it seems like the whole rp community, regardless of fandom, thrives on drama. And I'm sick of it.

How you deal with negativity in the glee fandom? I try to ignore, it is the best option, but it's hard to ignore sometimes. What do you think? What to do if someone wants you to feel bad, because you have a different opinion or you don't ship their otp?

Well, first of all, ignoring is the best option! I mean, this is a fictional story we're all discussing, not intricate human rights and ethics, or brain surgery, or rocket science, etc, etc. It's art -- and art is subjective and up for interpretation. There is no one right way to view art, and therefor anyone trying to make you feel bad about not perceiving their way is really just a jackass who isn't worth even listening to -- no matter how hard they yell.

Tumblr is nice because you can curate your own experience. You can cultivate who you follow. And while this might be a hard thing to do - if someone you follow constantly follows and reblogs from people who upset you, it might be time to unfollow that person. That doesn't mean you can't be private friends with someone, but don't let that stuff come to your dash!

Using Xkit (and people smarter than me can hook you up with that) you can also block tags so they don't appear on your dash. Personally, I have no desire to see anything with Kurtbastian or Seblaine so I have those tags blocked so I don't see them on my dash.

After that, it's about not engaging. If someone's dropping annoying asks or messages -- block them. If you don't want to see their stuff period -- block them. It's okay to use the block feature, that's their issue if they want to be assholes on the internet, not yours. A lot of people who are being loud and angry on the internet just want to be heard -- if you don't give them a platform they go seek it somewhere else. Which is why ignoring is the best possible thing you can do.

With the caveat that if someone is downright harassing you, you should report them.

Meanwhile, it's best to remember the context for a lot of this negativity -- emotional reactions to biased opinion. Take the argument - Klaine sucks because Brittana would get more screen time if they weren't around.

Well, that's just a stupid opinion, because in reality, Klaine having more or less screen time really had nothing to do with how much the writers wanted to write for Brittana. If the writers had wanted to write more for Brittana, they would have. Klaine has zero part in that equation. A lot of these "arguments" these people have really hold no ground when inspected closely, and you have to just roll your eyes and move on when people get into these kind of heated debates.

Also, you have to keep in mind that people are just going to be attracted to different kinds of stories for their own reasons. Not everyone is going to like the same thing. I mean, it's why some people like Blue while others like Red. We just have different preferences, and that's okay. And it's better to be accepting of those differences than tear people down.

Look - the human race is known for its tribalism, which stems from our evolution of once being lesser primates. That's why we have wars, and sports teams, and endless debates on whether Harry should have ended up with Hermoine or Ginny (personally, I'm team Harry/Giant Squid). There's always going to be some idiot spouting that they're right and you're not.

At the end of the day, like what you like, and don't worry about the rest. You don't need validation from anyone else to enjoy the thing. And there are plenty of others who will enjoy the same thing as you. Surround yourself with those people, and be respectful in return. That's about it.

:)

Mun Views

A quick warning. These views may be unpopular, or controversial, but they are subjective. 1. On formatting. Not necessary, but aesthetically pleasing as long as it's not difficult to read. 2. On OCs. Love/Hate relationship. I have several OCs myself, but I've had so many poor interactions with OCs and my canon characters. OCs can be incredibly well-written, but so often they're a glorified self-insert. Which isn't BAD per se, but sometimes can get uncomfy for me. 3. On smut. I think smut can and should be plot driven when written. Not sex for the sake of it, but an exploration of the characters in an intimate setting. It can be beautiful and rewarding, without crossing the line into porn. Which again, is not bad, but not necessarily something I want to write for my characters. 4. On your fandom. Some circles in the DWRPC are quite....... toxic. But I've been on tumblr long enough to have curated my dash and the people I follow. I enjoy the side of the fandom I'm involved in for the most part. 5. On exclusivity. I'm not exclusive simply because I love to see the contrast in different portrayals of the same character. But there's nothing wrong with people who are. 6. On 'burnbookisms'/anti-blogs. They're just an excuse for more publicized anon hate. 7. On hate. It's entirely unnecessary and cowardly and disgusting. I do not and will not tolerate it, ever. 8. On positivity. I think it's much needed, especially these days with everyone cooped up at home and slowly going mad from stress and anxiety and depression. Tell someone you love them and why. <3 9. On OOC posts. I make too many probably, but I like to get to know my mun friends. 10. On URLs. I like coming up with good urls, don't like "x" or "-" in my urls but to each their own. 11. On your character. This dumb bitch? Been writing him for damn near ten years now and I love him. Nine will always be my OG baby boy, but boy oh boy do I love Twelve and Thirteen, too. Writing them has kept me sane and alive at times. 12. On your own writing. I don't think I'm a spectacular writer, but I have my moments where I sit back like, "shit yeah that's good." 13. On following back. I don't follow back EVERYone, but if it's a character I would be interested in writing with, heck yeah. 14. On one-liners. Not my cup of tea. I'm a para person all the way. 15. On tumblr. It's a weird ass place, but it's really the only form of social media I fucks with. I don't have a twitter or an insta or a tiktok. I'm an old millennial, sue me. 16. On roleplaying in general. It's one of my favorite hobbies and it has gotten me through some rough patches. I've made plenty of real life friends through it, and even met my wife through roleplay. So I'd say I'm pretty okay with it. extra: 17. On multi-muse blogs. I've got one, so......... 18. On side blogs. I've got several so........ honestly, I think multi-muse and sideblogs are so helpful especially for nd people who struggle with organization and time management. So I'm always here for it. 19. On icon/gif/image use. I love using icons, not as much gifs, but PLEASE, either make your own graphics, pay someone to make you some, or source graphics from resources that are designed to share them! Do not steal gifs, icons, or graphics. That's shiiiiiiitty. 20. On 'popular' blogs. Again, love/hate. I'm pretty sure my DW blog could be considered "popular", but some blogs with hundreds of thousands of followers produce a lot of content, but it's mediocre. I prefer to have a relationship with the people I write with, and with popular blogs, I'd feel like just one among many. Most of the big blogs I follow are art blogs, or graphic or gif-makers, not popular RP blogs.

tagged by: no one, I stole it tagging: @conduitandconjurer, @immortalled, @mstinteresting and anyone else who would like to do it!

how do you get into roleplaying on a ff server? like how do you do it and how do you know if your character is lore compliant? ;A; pls youre a big inspo to me

*Hugs Nonny* Getting into RP on a FF server can vary; I don’t actually RP much these days, outside of some friends I already have connections to--and that in itself can be difficult just due to Life! It can take time, and patience, and some fits and starts.

And this gets...really really long, so buckle up and go below the cut, please. :)

The cut got broken by an edit. Sigh.

In game there’s always the RP status tag, and just doing RP with folks in public spaces. There may be trolls now and then, but they can be ignored. I personally find Balmung’s Quicksand area too busy and anxiety inducing and not actually all that conducive to actual RP, even “meet at a tavern” walk-up type. But unless you already have a ready-made group of friends/FCmates willing to RP more than some random walk-ups with you, it may take some legwork to find folks you can and want to write with.

Social Media There are a couple of RP community blogs, like @mooglemeet​ and @ffxiv-crystal-rp​  and plenty of server-specific ones. There’s also some Discords for these communities. They host and advertise events and reblog people who are looking for RP contacts. Some of them have running gdoc calendars and in game linkshells and fellowships as well.

Shofie has a good post about Tumblr/social media RP blogging.

@shofie-ffxiv

It’s a fact now that social media outside game is a way to make contacts, or even a medium for RP itself. There are few centralized websites/forums for server RP communities anymore. Making connections over your social media, like Tumblr and Twitter, can help find RP. You can’t just throw your own character info out there or reblog prompts hoping others bite, though; you have to put in some work and show interest in others, too. This can be difficult and even scary. That’s OK.

RP is about collaboration and creating with other people, which means finding folks you can write with, and who see you as someone interesting but also interested in them and their OCs. If you want to keep it a solo endeavor focused on your own OCs, write fanfic (which I’ve actually made friends and gotten RP interests that way too through comment interactions, so hey).

If you reblog a prompt from someone, see others on your dash reblogging prompts, if people reblog that prompt post from you? Send them asks! Alternatively, don’t wait for prompts, just send asks, comments, or chats saying hello and things you notice or like about their blog/character/posts they make. Try to form connections with people you think are genuinely interesting and might be fun to talk with. Social media should be, well, social.

BUT respect boundaries, too. Don’t try sarcasm or jokes with people you don’t actually know, it tends to go over poorly. Unless someone’s specifically posting a naughty meme/prompt, keep stuff you others send clean and polite, especially if it’s unsolicited and you’re not already friends (doubly so if you don’t know how old they are IRL, there are laws you do not want to break). Respect if people aren’t open to random asks or chatting with new followers, or say “no” to RP, and know it’s not personal--it’s just what they have time, energy, and emotional/mental capacity for. Don’t give up on other people, though. This stuff can take time and effort to find those you click with.

Respect and communication with RP partners is pretty key.

Do curate your feeds and don’t be afraid to unfollow/mute/block folks, either. I’m selective in who I follow and remove as needed, too, for my own mental health. I miss so much of the discourse and drama and that’s fine by me. Also it costs nothing to not step in on a lot of the drama when it does pass in sight.

Profiles I have static RP profile pages for my girls here on Tumblr (and a lot of other static links and pages, but I’m weird about organizing like that). This way, if people want to write with me, send me prompts, if I sent them prompts, or they want to otherwise interact with my characters, the information is handily available. For some folks, this makes all the difference in who they choose to interact with: how easily can they find even basic info about your OC?

Some people make Carrds. Some folks have gdoc links, or use Dreamwidth, etc. Just keep the links in the blog’s sidebar menu, and/or in the blog desc so people can see ‘em on mobile. There are templates out there, or you can make your own. Feel free to snag mine if you’d like. A lot of times people also copy their profiles to rebloggable posts when looking for RP contacts. Profiles are a good way to let folks know just the at-a-glance basics about your character(s).

I picked a simple theme with a simple layout that makes it easy to add and show off links. I put them in the blog desc to make them easy to find on mobile, too.

[Images: links from my blog sidebar menu showing how over organized I am]

RP, Stories, Lore Post some stories or RP logs (with permission of others involved) or even just random little blurbs and headcanons, as well as any screenshots, art, aesthetic posts for your OCs. Have something of interest to show for your character, too, so some of those folks your interacting with have something of their own to see and ask about!

If possible, try some light RP with friends and FC Mates who are amenable. Go to events, even if just to lurk at first. When you do get up the nerve to talk to people, don’t try to throw a character’s entire backstory at them, or try to steal the limelight--RP is collaboration, back and forth, and a lot like real conversation. Maybe come up with little light things to talk about if asked; a recent adventuring job, a silly shopping incident, etc. They can break the ice or just give you something to reply with for a few minutes.

Lore Compliance is Variable. Some people really want lore compliance, others are OK bending it here and there, while still others throw it out the window entirely. If you want to be super lore compliant...read. There’s a LOT of information, in game and out, for finding lore; from official publications and website material, to tools like Garland Tools site, to compilation blogs like @mirkemenagerie.

Note what’s important for your concept. Narrow it down. Characters aren’t going to know or be or do everything, so only worry about what’s necessary for the base idea. And be flexible; it’s SE’s sandbox, we just play in it, and they can change things any time. They usually do it in the guise of characters not knowing/having all the correct information, at least, but also some places just don’t exist in game yet so we don’t have info.

I’m unspecific about a lot of elements of Aeryn’s childhood, for instance, other than “traveling merchants near Thavnair.” I don’t have to be super specific. I can keep most details vague, and focus on her family and those relationships.

Dark, as my first character, has a fairly simple backstory that I’ve expanded on and adjusted over time as I learned and came up with new info. I also bet no one remembers I originally said Dark was from the North Shroud. I’ve changed things (now from East Shroud, due to the proximity to Gyr Abania and its Hellsguards) as I learned more about the world and my character. You don’t want to change things willy-nilly, but sometimes being flexible and smoothing down some rough edges and making small changes can be fine, especially as one gets more lore over time.

Iyna has a pretty detailed backstory, that came from a basic idea, and checking dates in the pre-Calamity timeline. I based her being taken and trained the way she was not only on what info we have about Garlemald’s imperial practices with conquered provinces, but borrowed a bit from real life and the re-education schools many Native Americans were forced into (though I haven’t gone into detail on that yet, either). I tied the turning point in Iyna’s life to a major event that wasn’t the Calamity, and have left plenty of space in between for me to fill in as time goes on and I learn more about her and the world.

The world isn’t static, and is bigger and more diverse than what can be shown in the game. There’s space in the margins for plenty of weird stuff and contradictions or unusual cases. So read up on what you can, ask questions, and then find where in those spaces your OC fits. Then, find people who enjoy similar tastes in lore compliance (or non-compliance), and who enjoy playing with you and your OCs, and not worrying about the rest. Can’t please everyone, nor get along with everyone, so don’t try; just find what works for you, and who works with you, and don’t police anyone else’s pretendy fun times, either.

There’s no magic answer on the “right” amount of lore compliance, or how to quickly and easily find RP partners or break into the broader RP community.

I hope this helps at least a little bit! Good luck in finding your niche for RP, and maybe I’ll see you sometime at an event :)

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — There’s a lot of freedom when you write a character with as little screen time as Bazz-B. I adhere strongly to everything known about him, and embellish the rest as I can. Some canon facts are a bit contradicting so we make do with what we can.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Bazz-B is what happens when you cross punk with a volcano. Wronged as a child, betrayed by his God, he began a 1000 year crusade to infiltrate a holy army and kill God. Along the way he takes names and kicks ass, while balancing the burden of his secret goal and cultural obligation to aid his kind. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  The dude held a grudge for a 1000 years, pushed away the only person who cared about him, and then whined that he was betrayed. An ego bigger than his eccentric hair, he’s twice as obnoxious as he is loud.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  How dare you make me admit my secret shame.. When Bazz-B was first revealed in the manga, I snagged him in the group I was RPing in. Grimmjow was already so popular, and a lot of writers I looked up to were writing him, so there’s no way I was trying my hand at that. But this new fella reminded me of a Quincy Grimmjow. I WAS VERY WRONG AND I’M GLAD I WAS BUT THAT’S MY SHAMEFUL ORIGIN STORY.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  I think it’s stupid how much I love Bazz-B. I went away for a while due to health reasons, but I never stopped loving him. Fleshing out everything that could have been, should have been, is and was-- any opportunity to talk about this man reignites my passion for him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. (not often enough)

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. (Bazzard and Zorn’s All American Tour)

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (IT DEPENDS? I’M NOT EASILY OFFENDED BUT I’M SOFT)

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  God okay I thrive off criticism. Genuinely, it doesn’t need to be positive. I prefer negative criticism. I’ll only ever improve if people tell me what I suck at. I can be better, help me pls.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I drool over that shit.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I'd definitely be interested. Headcanons, I think, pertain to each persons portrayal, so if someone disagrees they must believe it’s inherently out of character. I’d love to discuss that!

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  I’d love to discuss that EVEN MORE THAN HEADCANONS. If someone thinks Bazz-B should be behaving differently, or acting differently in scenarios, I’d love to listen to why. If anyone loves Bazz-B and has thoughts you come to me, you sit me down and I will listen so raptly you’ll think I’ve frozen in time.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  To each their own! I know a lot of people aren’t a fan of Bazz-B, he’s very in your face, and I know a lot of the stoic characters are super popular. Wont make me love him any less.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Oh God, please do. My biggest peeve is when I repeat words too often. Be my little microsoft word paperclip!!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I think I’m terrible at continuing out of character conversations, as I’m always worried I’m bugging people, but other than that I am very easy. Unless you say “I wish to offend you” I’ll naturally assume you’re not trying to offend me. We all come across differently, I just assume everyone is here to have a good time.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @hirako5hinji & @zombiequincy

bro can u please not put nsfw asks in the main character tags 😰😰

I’ve answered this before but it’s been a while.

The short answer is no.

The long answer is that I’ve made an effort to put “stan pines” “stanley pines” “ford pines” and “stanford pines” as the 8th or higher tag on my nsfw asks as of late, to conform with tumblr’s own parameters of only showing a post’s first 5 tags in the public tag. So if the algorithm fucks up and pushes them anyway, that’s not on me. I’ve done my due diligence.

And as to why I won’t just stop using them: one of the few things this hellsite got right was the filters; as long as the OP has tagged a post with the correct tags, tumblr will filter it out, even if the subsequent reblogs have no tags. So I’m going to continue to include them as a courtesy to people who want to be able to blacklist the Stans. There are plenty of reasons why someone might want to do that; they’ve just started the show and want to avoid spoilers, someone they follow has been reblogging without tags and it’s getting annoying, it reminds them of something unpleasant somehow.

I also try to “read more” longer and/or more detailed asks when I can, and I always tag “lemon” and “sexy headcanon” because tumblr’s nsfw ban nuked us all back to the dark ages of the citrus scale. (And I’m not sorry, but I’m not going to make my blog utterly invisible by using “nsfw” as a tag.)

I’m fine if people want to block me because I post nsfw content; curate your dash the way you need to, unfollow/block whoever you want to make the experience smooth for you.

Hi! you said you only like particular types of Kylux, do you have any stories to recommend? How do you feel about gingerpilot, hux/rose (hose?) and hux/cardinal?

It’s actually been a few years since I shipped kylux. My absolute ultimate Star Wars OTP that has consumed 50% of my waking thoughts has been gallirae, which is such a teensy Imperial rarepair. Even with it being so teensy, just myself and some friends, I haven’t run out of ways to explore it. There’s so much untapped potential. I’ve shipped it for longer than I shipped kylux. Rae Sloane in particular succeeds at being the villainous archetype that a lot of people including myself had to work to transform Hux into. An ambitious, talented, career officer and underdog with reasons to passionately defend the system and other reasons to doubt or resent it. 

Back when I was more kylux-exclusive, once I got into the idea of creating my own content, I was very fixated on that and found other fic to be somewhat distracting. Also lately my attention span when it comes to reading fanfic has drastically improved. (Going back on ADHD meds has... been part of it). So back in the day, I noticed plenty of cool stories, including stuff friends of mine wrote, but struggled to read it. My impression of fandom was more the stuff that wound up on my tumblr dash. Plus I did a ton of RP. There’s probably a lot of really good kylux fic out there that I never got around to reading, also a lot of good kylux fic I read but forgot. I didn’t keep good records on AO3. I just now checked my bookmarks list for you and the kylux fics on there? I do not remember anything about them and I really did read them ages ago. I don’t even have enough links to fics my old fandom friends wrote. I really just wasn’t much of a content curator. 

I think my ideal kylux (The Fic I Never Truly Wrote) would be something with a truly sci-fi, fantasy, or paranormal plot. Something besides romance is going on, danger and intrigue especially coming from extraordinary sources. There’s a whole chunk of worldbuilding, intrigue, suspense or danger. Kind of action-adventure buddy-dramedy-ish (I said kylux isn’t like ineffable husbands in personality but that doesn’t mean they can’t be thrown into slightly alike plot circumstances).

That being said. There’s one kylux fic I still remember liking AND remembered enough identifying info to find it again on AO3 (there’s a couple of others that I just... FUCK... I can’t remember the author or fic name even though a lot of other stuff is really clear in my mind. Sorry. I was depressed and disorganized for the past few years). I’m not saying this one’s the best of everything I’ve read, or exactly what I might have been looking for. But I remember it. It’s quite old by sequel trilogy fandom standards. Also if it turns out to have been right about Palpatine possession being the endgame thing, that will be neat as heck.

Saint by @ofcorsetstrash​ lol I think I’ve told them once before that this is inexplicably one of my favorite fics (not that it’s inexplicable because it’s not good but that I read it very early on and it remained memorable with how huge the fandom got) it just resonated with me maybe I really liked the way it represented mental conversations with use of text formatting, that’s something I did in one of my first fanfics and it’s a very cool and vivid technique.

Also there’s these fics my best friend Mads @honeypothux wrote a while back: 

Seasons Greetings From the Solo-Organas -- a holiday comedy with a cool background element of a modern AU with Star Wars infused history (I’m a sucker for modern settings that are like what medieval fantasy is to medieval Europe -- very similar normal everyday life, very different geopolitics and history. It has the same intrigue for me as magic realism.) 

When the Crypt Door Creaks -- sadly unfinished but it’s young adult Kylo and Hux in a haunted Disney ride adventure. The Haunted Mansion itself. A lot of cool ideas, reminds me a teeny bit of a Henry Selick animated film. 

And the ones of mine I like:

Flashburn -- very very weird context for this one, fandom got obsessed with tentacle rape for a brief while and I found it squicky and started a fic to work through that squick by taking the idea seriously, but it’s not at all explicit, it’s about as implicit as you can get without actual ambiguity. Rated T but check the warnings. It’s more about Kylo and Hux discovering ways to not hate each other. 

Our Wicked Home -- maybe my favorite kylux fic I’ve written. Senator Hux returns to the abandoned Arkanis Academy as part of a truth and reconciliation, alongside his Jedi bodyguard Ben Solo. Hux doesn’t have a bad relationship with his family in this (and his parents were happily married), and it’s hard for him to cope with having nostalgia for a place where there was so much suffering.

Memory of Snow -- quiet alpine angst post-canon with hermit Kylo finding outcast Hux has tracked him down 

Moving on: 

How I feel about gingerpilot? Never really felt like my thing. 

Hux/Rose? I have never seen it called Hose that’s hilarious omfg. I didn’t passionately love it at first but my pal @tobermoriansass got me into it. I definitely don’t ship it in all possible configurations. Not as a cutesy sort of ship, definitely. Something raw and rotten and intense. I have a half-finished Hux/Rose fic that I wrote for a fic exchange. Still feel guilty about not completing it. But I kind of gave myself a writing injury trying to finish it, pushed myself too hard. I’ll come back to it when I’m ready. 

If you want a smut rec here’s a wild ride of a Finn/Rose/Hux weird alien psychic bond threesome 

Hux/Cardinal? I haven’t read Phasma yet, just had other people tell me about it. I’d kind of like to ship them as brothers. This is mostly because I don’t like canon Brendol Hux having no complexity in his relationship to his son. I think he was once an interesting character who could have been even more interesting and who can’t be interesting when he’s too repulsive to linger on for long. So having Cardinal and Armitage develop a strong brotherly bond adds to a complicated family backstory. Deep down I want to do a Fullmetal Alchemist AU for them where Cardinal is the disembodied suit of armor brother to Armitage the shrimpy irascible genius, though they’re far less heroic than the Elrics. 

Ummmmmm

I think that’s about it except that one major reason why I don’t read kylux is that I’m absolutely obsessed with my OC of his mom and I so vastly prefer the universe where she exists because she’s like a weird overpowered feral ocean witch. If only canon had invented her instead of me. 

OH ALSO I FORGOT THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION ANON YOURE VERY LOVELY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FICS I JUST GOT SO FOCUSED ON ANSWERING I FORGOT I WAS VERY HAPPY TO GET YOUR ASK LOL

I’ve been tagged!  :O

Rules are to answer all the questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better!

Tagged by: @saiyuri-dahlia (sorry it took me so long to get around to doing this, I lost the notification!!)

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Dragon/Taurus

Height: 5′ 7”

Time: 11:06 (EST)

Birthday: April 22

(the rest under a cut to save your dash)

Favorite Bands: Malice Mizer, Schwarz Stein, Buck-Tick, Dir en grey, tool, Florence + The Machine, the Killers....it really depends on my mood, I guess?  But those are probably the ones I’ve either listened to the most or that have stuck with me through the years.

Last movie I saw: BLACK PANTHER!

Last show I saw: Voltron Legendary Defender, S5!

When did I create my blog: Uh. 2012.  Six years on this blue hellsite....

What do I post:  Tons of sheith reblogs, recently, and other Shiro or Keith related things.  Science shit.  Funny shit.  Political shit.  Movies/shows I like.  Figure skating.  Fanfic (REBLOG A FIC TO SAVE A LIFE)--my own and also reblogs.

Last thing I googled: thesaurus MO (thesaurus is one of my most-used tools in writing, not because I want to use complicated words, but because a lot of times I’m searching for a word that has the right nuance/connotation...or I just forgot the word I’m thinking of)

Any other blogs: Yep!  @myth-onwriting @kh-worldsconnected (ended), @kh-figureskatinghell (hiatus), and a NSFW reblog blog.

Do you get asks?: Sometimes!  I do ask memes and sometimes I get bites, and sometimes not.  And prompts...I think I have prompts listed as open right now but I haven’t gotten any since that AkuRoku mpreg one (yikes) and tbh I don’t really have time to be taking them right now, as I have plenty of WIPs on the rails atm, and I’m pretty tied up with school otherwise.

Why did you choose your URL:  I have been some variation of “myth” since....maybe 2001 or 2002?  And I also adopted “silvermyth” and its variation “sylvermyth” around then...I think when I picked my email, silvermyth wasn’t available, so I went with sylvermyth, which...I’ve in general found more aesthetically pleasing, for the spelling, and I’m pretty ride-or-die with my pseudo.  I think that’s kind of a more old school thing?  From back in the days where it wasn’t so easy to just change your username on social media sites (forums, LJ, etc), but also BRAND RECOGNITION.  It’s become part of my identity.  :D

Types of Blogs you follow: friends, fandom/ship blogs, artists, writers...in general I try to avoid following blogs that are filled with drama/salt/hate, and try to stick with ones that are positive.  It’s really important to me to curate my dash, because I want to come on tumblr to have fun and chill, not get dragged down by politics and drama.

Favorite colors: jewel tones, reds, blues, purples, greens

Avg hours of sleep: Lately it’s been closer to 4-5 hours, but usually around 7ish.

Lucky Number: 22

Dream trip: Honestly there’s not any one trip in particular I’d like to take?  I enjoy traveling in general, either alone to just explore and be in my own head (although that can get a little empty/lonely), or with friends that I can drink (not required tho) and have fun with.  I’d love to go back to France, or visit other places in Europe, and I also have a lot of friends I want to visit scattered around--some that I’ve already met, and some that I haven’t, but I want to travel to visit them.

What are you wearing?: It’s spring break yo, I’m in sweats and a comfy t-shirt.  I’ll have to change to leggings and put on a bra when I go skating later tonight, but until then I AM SLUBBIN IT.

How many blankets do you sleep with?: It hasn’t been too cold recently so it’s been anywhere from one to three, but when it gets really cold, I have six that I have a particular way of arranging to obtain maximum warmth.  But even in the summer I usually prefer to sleep with one or two blankets, because I like the weight...so I maybe put the AC up a little higher than necessary....  XD;;

Dream job: This one’s a little hard because it’s more like, what’s my dream lifestyle?  Because IDEALLY I’ve always wanted to work in like...either a library or own a used/rare book shop, with enough downtime or quiet to be able to also write and do crafts/art, and enough money to be able to travel a couple times a year, and it would be nice to also be making money off of my writing.  That is my dream--I love being surrounded by books, because it just feels so comforting, and I love the smell of old books when you walk into a library or a used book store, but I also like being able to go out and have an adventure and see what the world has to offer.  Of course, I have a cynical streak a mile wide, and I also really like engaging my mind to challenge myself, so I’m studying engineering so I can actually pay off my tuition and hopefully have a pretty comfortable life where I might be able to travel more frequently.  Maybe when I retire I’ll follow my dreams and do the book shop thing, or go work in a library (I know being a Librarian require’s a Master’s, because I was considering it for a while, but that’s...hardly a problem, I love learning)

Favorite foods: Food.  I just...really like eating, and trying new things.  I’ll try anything once, and there’s not a ton of foods I don’t like, let alone hate.  Like, things I will avoid:  blueberries, coconut, grapes, shiitake mushrooms.  Other than that?  I’m all about the food.

Nationality: American

Uhh...20 people is quite a lot of people to tag, lmao.  But sure, how about @caseyvalhalla @apiegohome @princess-wasabi @tootsonnewts @ryuko-hime @eternal-harvest @alone-in-my-little-infinity @cyberphuck @safeautistickeith @galapae @cocythe @verging-on-the-void @zenellyraen @deadfreckledboys @junecsea @galacticpanther @kenzichi @the-smallest-kurapika @purpleinuyashagirl @laffinchik  Don’t feel obligated to do this, only do it if you want to!  <3 <3

#personal

Life is kind of entering the dark side of the moon hidden under the shadows of the holidays.  I’m taking my mom out for Xi’an food on Thanksgiving day.  We went for Cantonese food last year on Christmas.  She is definitely the more nontraditional side of the family.  My dad is chill too.  He’s relayed to me twice how he doesn’t pay attention to the news.  When his wife turns on the tv he plugs in his new airpods and listens to Shania Twain or something.  Navigating both relationships over the holidays allows me to take comfort in the uniqueness of my situation.  Nothing in my life is very simple and then I sort of take it all in stride.  Both my parents often remark about how proud they are I turned out.  I was always a very quiet and shy kid up until I had to stand up for myself.  Even then I don’t really ever want to be a bother.  But a certain amount of respect for myself has developed over time being left out, passed over and ignored.  So the deafening silence I have for the past is more about moving on out of the shadows and towards the light.  I’ve spent the last twenty years at this point working in a progressive arts environment.  I’ve hit plenty of guardrails trying to stay in my lane.  But I know where I belong regardless.  After awhile what used to frustrate me about self control actually fuels my path forward.  Somebody made a comment about how robotic I respond to everything at work.  It was a low key sleight and I took it that way but wasn’t totally untruthful.  I don’t react much in realms where I don’t control the narrative.  I quit Facebook and Twitter awhile ago.  I don’t feel as hardwired to share everything in my life.  I do take boring pictures on IG to prove I exist.  I was walking down the street the other day and somebody motioned to me and said loudly “So he is real.”  I don’t use tinder so I don’t know what it’s like to justify my existence every ten feet on my lunch break or commute by swiping right or left.  It isn’t like I don’t share my thoughts or bare my soul every Saturday morning on Tumblr.  People have grown to appreciate that this is how I engage with people who really want to know what I’m thinking.  Everybody in real life just talks at you.  A persistent water cooler conversation that goes nowhere.  People announce things in a circle about what they’d do if they had super powers or ran for office and it goes nowhere.  Roleplaying is fun I guess.  I play World of Warcraft.  I’m a Warlock named Overbite.  Over the summer some Christians called me a witch for walking past their protest at the abortion clinic.  It helps me to get into character when I play a paladin.  Really get into the mind of the self righteous you know.  Understand their power.  Freedom of speech in America for what it’s worth doesn’t really get in my way when I realize nobody is listening to anyone but themselves.  I talk a lot openly in my kitchen to myself and my cat about all this.  I played Magic the Gathering the last two years a lot to practice my public speaking.  At least when you announce the rules on a card people have to listen.  These days people are too busy to play so I’m left with these funny games in the street.  In America it’s becoming more like Outback steakhouse.  No rules and too many people leaning to the hard right.  The left hand path is kind of secluded.  Perfect for a moonlight stroll.  As dark as that might be at four pm in the dead of winter.

For what it’s worth I’ve been watching a lot of Watchmen and listening to Nine Inch Nails by myself.  I like to read and work on my finances in a cloud based spreadsheet.  Most of what I read is online.  When it’s not the news or the history of places I barely know it’s quest text or lore on a computer screen.  I’ve been a lot more at ease in some ways.  I’ve been mostly trying to figure out the feeding schedule for my new house guest.  I forget I’ve been feeding that cat twice a day for over a year outdoors.  Surprisingly or not so she is pretty much on the same exact schedule as I am.  The electric bill is sixty percent lower than it’s ever been.  I’m assuming part of that is a more energy efficient refrigerator.  My downstairs neighbors Christmas lights don’t even make a dent in the meter.  My life is kind of peaceful and boring at home.  When I step outside the threshold it can be a different story.  In terms of guardrails I’ve become at peace withjwhere I belong.  Staying out of trouble.  I’ve been swerving around the planet safely for years.  I’ve been transparent on the internet as well.  You can try to cover your tracks as much as you want.  But I don’t believe you can hide from yourself.  A friend on here posted this tweet from Cher talking about Epstein.  It was a pretty strong opinion about creepy rich old men that I respected.  The other part of it struck me a little harder.  Something about powerful and strong men holding on to that power.  Which leads me to think about what it means to be a powerful or strong man in modern times.  For the record I’ve been made to feel just like everybody else quite the opposite.  That none of the good I do ever really matters.  That how I choose to behave online and off however in sync is not seen as power.  And I’m aware that most men have never had to defend themselves or their privileges.  I’m also aware that I identify how I identify.  There’s no need for me to beat you over the head with any of it.  I’ve been online for years and you can ask around.  I’m not saying it wasn’t hard work to be a better man.  I’m not saying anything really.  That’s not for me to prove at this point.   I have nothing to defend other than the power of the identity I live in plain sight.  In truth being open and honest does get you taken advantage of often.  But you learn to handle yourself in dangerous situations.  Some of people’s ideas of friendship and trust can be a little naive.  I’ve been there.  Part of the reason I walked away from making music and performing it was the environment around it.  I found I was locked out and walked away from it out of boredom.  People already know who I am for better or for worse in more places I’ve never visited.  Imagine if I was a piece of shit behind the scenes.  My dirty laundry would be everywhere on the internet by now.  And these days it’s pretty apparent that being a Warlock in Christian America isn’t the same as it is on a PVP server.  War mode is always on if you want it to be.  And the battles go nowhere.  The only random drops I pay attention to are the sale prices on Gore-Tex Chuck Taylors.   The real power being how I manage my finances responsibly.  And nobody here listens unless you’ve got your wallet out anyway.  I don’t have a line item for any of that in my budget.  So I stick to carving out a safe space for myself in a sustainable way and be quiet.  Men have spoken enough at this point.  I amplify the communities and voices that have shaped my thinking on things.  I signal boost and I stay under the radar at the same time.  Unless of course you’ve got Airplay sharing enabled.

Every day I log on to this community I have a conscious choice to share.  I am mindful personally about what kind of message it sends out.  I don’t really judge other people’s curation.  I can say sometimes I’m not into certain things.  I’m not particularly sensitive to a lot of imagery.  I’ve spent twenty years servicing an art school.  I’ve seen plenty of fucked up shit outside of my comfort zone.  Everything has context in a community.  And here online I think we operate with the notion that we are trying to explore the boundaries of our own identities.  We are also trying to conduct this experiment in a safe way.  A lot of people might say I’m a little too cautious.  A lot of people also probably say that I’m a little too straight behind my back.  I guess I know my audience and vice versa.  But I don’t think of this place as an audience.  I’m not out here trying to sell things for profit.  I’m trying to signal boost the things that inspire me aesthetically in a complex way.  Some things I like.  Some things I love and care about dearly.  Some people know exactly what I mean when I hint about things.  And some people are lost and not even paying that close attention.  Some people pop up in my dash and their opinion means the world to me.  The togetherness of being in a place where people understand the nuance and context is freeing.  Nobody asks too many questions.  The interactions I’ve had with people online are always genuine and terse.  I’m not trying to secretly infect myself into people’s lives.  I’m not actively trying to interfere with anyone’s life or image.  I’m also aware that people are appreciative after all this time to trust that.  That kind of responsibility and accountability is an asset in complex and troubling times.  You know you can always count on somebody to be a good person.  There’s a real kind of power there when every other man out there talks the same shit but betrays their words through their actions constantly.  I wake up every day at five am and wander into work at seven thirty.  I’m there an hour before everyone else.  I give people rulers and staplers while I check my mail and post pictures on the internet.  I’ve been attacked over the years more often than anybody will ever realize.  A lot of it was unfair and misinformed.  Years later people know exactly why.  And years later people appreciate why I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.  I judge myself by ethics nobody ever asks about.  I don’t go with the flow often and yet somehow I’ve travelled the world silently for years by myself.  I got around on human kindness and honesty.  You can never betray that in yourself.  Especially if you are a Warlock.  I’m sure the demons would consume you if you did.  It seems like simple enough logic and mythology.  I do this and stay me however complex that seems because I care.  It’s not conditional on an outcome.  I’ll be truthful I don’t know where any of this is going.  I’m lost in the dark completely.  And yet no one on this planet can be me.  And I know how powerful that is.  It has never been easy.  But It’s worth it for me because I have love in my heart.  The people that I really share it with deeply know just how much of that there is to go around.  It’s something I protect because it’s worth fighting for.  A safe place to be free online as well as off.  Let’s keep fighting that battle first and foremost.  It’s always been the same for me and will be for the immediate future.  It may be dark but I see the light at the end of this tunnel.  Seasonal depression nothwithstanding.  <3 Tim