#truly was like a religious experience for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shorthaltsjester · 11 months

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sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.

like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.

likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.

these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.

and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.

or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.

#critical role #cr spoilers #laudna #orym #team issylra #maybe it’s because a lot of these people r also the people who have no literacy wrt religious and philosophical complexity #that Screams bad experience that hasn’t been reckoned with but. the Big part of healing is that. a lot of the time #especially with Trauma. the mess is gonna come before the pretty little bow does #like noah fence but . this is The Most interesting laudna and orym have been to me this far and it’s not because they’re Darker #it’s because they’re being more true to themselves #maybe this is nitpicky I Don’t Care #me watching c1 as vex admits that she still feels like a burden and Heavily considers being treeified for sondor. ‘is this vex Going Dark?’#as an imogen Lover . let’s be real and admit the only Genuine going dark risk is her at this point in the campaign #because like. i truly don’t see anyone else making the Choice to do absolutely fucked up selfish things #and imogen considers doing that shit like . once every two eps At Least (affectionate but eyes wide about it)#anyway. reunion will be very interesting with an orym and laudna who are shedding pieces of what maintains their like Group Role #bells hells #critical role spoilers #cr3 #cr campaign 3 #bell’s hells #my posts

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thelaurenshippen · 15 days

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in honor of the wicked trailer, I'm dropping this here in case anyone's never seen it before. cynthia erivo, queen

#cynthia erivo #is there a professionally shot version of her singing this at an event?#sure #but this phone video of an actual performance canNOT be beat #the sonnets I would write about her diaphragm #the epics I would write about her breath control!#truly one of the greatest musical performers alive #this isn't my favorite show in the world #but when I saw her live in it #I legit like........sOBBED during this #sOBBED SOBBED #I'm crying just watching the video now #but I was truly inconsolable #and not just because it's a gorgeous song with a meaningful message!#but because being in the presence of someone with a steel spine iron lungs and golden vocal chords #and watching them absolutely strip the paint off the theater around you #is honestly the closest I get to a religious experience #I have a lot to say about modern broadway and the vocal gymnastics that are going too far #bc people want to be able to do this shit but like - this is not vocal gymnastics #this is a craftsman being incredibly technically skilled at their craft #and an artist who understands the medium of musical theater #it's not.......pop runs you know?#other live vocal performances that made me bleed from the eyes (positive)#sutton foster singing gimme gimme at like...21?#heather headley in aida #every single fucking performer in octet #keisha setttle (?) in waitress singing I didn't plan it #and its a different flavor #but jonathan groff in everything I've seen him in #the purity of tone!!!!!!!

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pickled-flowers · 5 months

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Having very big thoughts about spirituality and humanity.. alas I am never articulate enough so I'm just gonna rent in the tags as always

#IDK #like also im from Quebec and the relation to spirituality/religion here is strange #i wish i could have a conversation with someone about it 😭#and like spirituality is such an important part of the human experience?#hhh idk how to explain what im feeling but #anyways.#im very thankful to have found faith in my life i believe it is making me a better person #a year ago i discovered one of my best friend has very bad religious trauma #her point of view on any and all spirituality was really bad (still sort of is)#but to completely dismiss religion in regard to human life is not the way!!#i was glad to explain to her what religion meant to me and like yea i did grow up thinking religion was a little stupid #but that was because all i was taught about religion was through christian lenses #i truly love discussing with religious people about our beliefs and how it affects our day to day #like my old colleague who was muslim was always happy to talk to me about Islam and her name-sake Aisha #like idk #idk ok!!#spirituality can be very beautiful and i have many feelings about it

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hella1975 · 10 months

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hi hella do you have thoughts on the tiktokification of ethel cain (given her leaving social medias) anyway sorry if you dont i just love the way you think xx

i think a very simplified explanation of what tiktok does to music and why it fundamentally always Grates on me is that people on tiktok cannot just listen to a song. it's no longer enough to enjoy a song or an artist. you're not a 'true fan' if you just simply listen to the music and find any level of enjoyment from it. you have to instead know every single lyric, and every meaning of that lyric, and then when that isn't enough because the masses are now also doing that, you then need to know what the artist's thought process was for the lyrics, where they were when they wrote it, exactly what they mean by it. interpretation is no longer allowed because the 'true fans' correct you with what the artist said in a niche interview from 2019 and 'if you really liked the song you would know that'. it doesnt matter what the song means to YOU because it now needs to be consumed in the Exact Way Tiktok Says It Should Be. and then of course it all becomes narrower and narrower and all the while the fans are TEARING the artists apart in an attempt to be the one individual listening to them most often and most correctly and with the most thorough understanding, and the artist is just. some guy. like literally just a person behind a screen reading every stupid as fuck thing and seeing the same stupid as fuck comments over and over and over again and it's like yeah. that would drive me fucking insane too actually

#there is no correct way of consuming media. like this need to be special and the snobbery it creates is something even ive been guilty of #like i will say ive only ever joked about it (like i made a post a while ago about tiktokers not realising gibson girl #was about drugs and prostitution) but i cant think of a time ive ever been ACTUALLY pissed about it #and that was more me being annoyed the tiktok crowd had got ethel cain anyway like IN GENERAL lol #but people on tiktok are actually IN that mindset. like they truly believe there's a correct way to listen to music #and they WILL police you on it if you dont adhere to that and they NEED it to be memeable so they can feel like they have inside jokes #with the artist despite them being a fucking stranger and it's WEIRD and more than anything it's fucking ANNOYING #and at the end of the day someone who listens to gibson girl bc it hypes them up and they have no idea about the lyric meaning #or its context in the rest of the album or in fact who ethel cain even is #are doing just as much justice to the art as people who listen to every single song religiously and know every single meaning #ultimately music is created to make people feel things. art is created to make people feel things #if you felt something listening to it then great. that is literally the only requirement needed. you dont need the artist's social security #number and worst traumatic experience in order to be considered thee fan of all time #ask

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cienie-isengardu · 1 year

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After watching Chapter 20: The Foundling (s03e04), I think I finally figured out why Children of the Watch bugs me so much. Ironically this is not just about the helmet rule even though at this point in the story I find it hysterically hilarious how the show doesn’t follow its own worldbuilding. Like Din got kicked out from the Tribe because he took off his helmet and Armorer - who usually is fair and act as the voice of reason - didn’t even bother to ask for the reason behind it (and at least one time was about Din getting medical help and the other, if I remember correctly, was done to save Grogu) with moment before Paz Vizsla claiming he has never took off his helmet because this is the way but now Children of the Watch take off the helmets to eat like no big deal, when we already saw Din eating while not revealing fully his face? Like, sorry, either you are not allowed to take that blasted thing (about what we have two seasons and a bit Book of Boba Fett) or you are allowed to do so in certain situations but if the letter is true, then not asking Din for reason behind his action and just kicking him out on spot is so… jerk move. Double so, when Armorer claims that saving a Foundling is the “highest honor of the Creed '' and isn’t it what all Din’s actions are about through the last two seasons?

I sidetracked.

Anyway, the mentioned scene of Mandalorians scattering around to eat alone so other people don't see their faces (the act of removing the helmet) is what frustrated me so much about this group. Children of the Watch are recognized as a Mandalorian community but they don’t feel much to be one?

On one hand, the show established that members of the Children of the Watch:

support each other in various ways. Like coming to aid a fellow Mandalorian in fight whatever said members are on good terms or not (Paz and Din in the first season) or providing material goods, as we are both shown (with Din) and told (by Armorer) that “It is a tradition [...] for each to donate a small portion of what they earn to the foundlings”. So those who earn money or get their hands on anything special like beskar, support the most vulnerable ones (orphans) of their Tribe. Which is definitely a positive aspect of their community (even if so far we see only(?) Din to wander through the galaxy and actually earn money and share them with his people).

celebrate (witness) together an important moments of individual members like the ceremonial accepting Creed by Ragnar or Din’s official return after Armorer confirmed his proof about Living Waters

train together and the older (more experienced) members act as mentors

organize a searching (war) party for a child abducted by predator animal

So it can’t be denied that Children of the Watch is a community in which all members take part in the social life of the Tribe, and all play some specific roles. The adults mentor the less experienced people and act as protectors in times of danger, Armorer is providing knowledge and guidance but also (alongside Paz Vizsla?) guards tradition and “punishes” for breaking the rules - and it is important to note she is usually presented as fair judge, as it was seen with Din and Paz’s rocky relationship through the all seasons.

On another hand we don’t see Children of the Watch (beside Armorer and Paz) interact with Din or Bo in any meaningful way that builds the feeling of truly belonging to this little society or even between each other in background? And here comes my realization with the rescue group sitting around the fireplace. The food was distributed, Bo’s position as leader acknowledged by Paz and then… everyone went on their own to eat in solitude. Which is so anticlimactic in regard to building any personal connection between Tribe and newcomer. They were a rescue group, on “enemy” territory (with some dangerous local fauna, there could be more hungry predators lurking in the night) and instead of sharing the warmth of firework, the sitting (eating) by the fire is treated as privilege.

Eating together and sharing food with your community is a universal bonding experience and it is no wonder that Bo-Katan is out of her depth so much in that scene, when one remembers she was for years part of Death Watch. And we know thanks to The Clone Wars (a tie-in material from the same New Canon) that Death Watch feasted together (A Friend in Need)

or even during Pre and Maul talk about alliance - a pretty important moment for both involved parties - there was one warrior who apparently chose to eat/drink between his folks rather than sitting (alone) somewhere else.

Hell, even when Din and Boba Fett seek her in the previous season, she and Koska also ate a meal together.

Of course, those little scenes are just glimpses at life of other mandalorian groups, but there is drastic contrast between Children of the Watch (eat alone so no one see you removing helmet/showing face) and what Bo-Katan experienced within two separate communities (Death Watch and her clan/followers). And I think this is the reason why Children of the Watch doesn’t feel like a true community to me. Sure, they train together and take part in ceremonies and aid each other in fight, but there is little of actual personal relationship? Little of normal things the community do together like exactly eating and sharing a place by the fire?

And there is something really bothering how the morally dubious Death Watch act as a community, not only with the training, but also eating a meal together or talking with each other - what could be observed in various scenes between the unnamed members.

In general I think TCW provided a better feeling of Death Watch’s daily life outside of combat than The Mandalorian show did for the Children of the Watch. It is doubly weird that Pre Vizsla of all people bothered to offer Maul a tea when they were making alliance as a gesture of goodwill and/or playing the good host role

while Bo-Katan (a newcomer) is left to eat alone because no one is allowed to remove the helmet in company thus can’t eat together. Come to think about it, Bo-Katan too offered to share her food with Grogu and Din in the “Mines of Mandalore” which adds to the feeling how food - as bonding / belonging to community - means a lot to her or Mandalorian in general.

Additional feeling of the not-so-good community sense comes from the same episode and is about how Ragnar could walk away from the group unnoticed when apparently Children of the Watch are perfectly aware of dangerous predators lurking around. And the kid walked to the edge of the water from which Tribe was already attacked by a beast and for some reason no one noticed it? Like Din was there when Ragnar just walked away but he was too busy praising Grogu even though, as the adult and part of the community he was responsible for other (especially less experienced) members. He however could have zero knowledge of the flying predator that may snatch the kid but the Tribe living there knew but did not bother to guard their children better? As was shown, they didn’t put anyone on guard duty to make sure those training together were safe or to keep an eye on kids wandering away from the group? You know, to not repeat the tragedy that already befall on their community in the recent past? It is especially weird to me, because the whole episode put so much pressure on how saving a foundling (or child in general) is the most honorable part of the Creed yet the Children of the Watch, as a collective, did not provide the safety to the most vulnerable members as they could despite the knowledge about danger and already experienced tragedy.

And sure, we could argue hey this kid is a sworn Mandalorian and maybe the Mando doesn’t fret about children safety as we, the no-warrior people, do. But the thing is, none of the monsters the Tribe faced was something a single adulr warrior could beat alone. It was always a community effort to beat them - and mind you, the “water beast” ultimately was killed by fire from Din’s spaceship so it is not something that a lonely kid could achieve on his own. The flying monster also was defeated because of cooperation of several warriors (though they maybe could kill it faster if the animal didn’t hold the kid). Which is why I find the execution of the plot weak from the in-universe perspective, as this tragedy was easy to avoid if only the Tribe bothered a bit more with common sense and security (something they were much more focused on in the first season?)

Of course, the show is an ongoing project so maybe the future episodes will change my mind about Children of the Watch, but for now I have very mixed feelings about them as the Mandalorian community. They are built as one for sure but they don’t really feel like a real community so far to me. Especially not compared to Death Watch, as was presented by the same New Canon.

#star wars #children of the watch #death watch #the mandalorian #the mandalorian critical #the mandalorian spoilers #i know i'm looking and judging the children of the watch through real life experiences when it comes to what community is #and especially the importance of sharing food / eating together with family or friends #so i know it is not universal experience and dunno maybe this kind of mando community is meant to represent something else #not sure from where creators take their inspirations for this religious-like tribe #but i'm really bothered by their take on them #especially when we can compare this group to death watch (from the new canon)#and when bastards like TCW!DW feel more like tigh knitted community than the supposed honorable mando i'm a bit concerned #when from DW it was mainly pre and bo who we truly knew about while other mandos were the background #but they still interacted with each other and eat together and have fun?#while children of the watch are mainly seen in regard to ceremony / creed / fight #and the one scene when bo could learn something about her companions ya'know to bond with someone outside din and armorer #she is left to eat alone?#dunno if this is just me or the show #my analyze

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