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dazaiandhislovelybandages · 5 months

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My Girl {Dabi} (pt 2)

A/n: I wasn't originally planning on writing a part 2 on this one but the comments and the reblogs were asking for a part 2 so here it is. Hopefully those of you who asked it, will actually like it. For those of you who haven't read it, here is Part 1 and Part 3

Pairing: Dabi/ Toua Todoroki x fem!civilian!reader

Trigger warning: mentions of death, fire, slightly suggested, mentions of a creepy looking dude but nothing further than that, mentions of scars

From that day on a few things changed. Dabi was sleeping in his apartment more often. He hadn't mentioned you touching yourself to the thought of him again, not that you had actually talked to him again after that day.

"Doll..." You heard his voice through the paper thin walls of your bedroom. You had been laying on your bed, one week after your unexpected yet fateful meeting with him, getting ready to fall asleep.

"What?" You turned your head to the side, pressing your cheek against the wall so he could actually hear you. If the layout of his apartment was the same as yours then his bedroom was where he was at the moment.

"Moan for me, come on."

Oh you were so lucky that he couldn't see the blush on your face and the way your eyes widened immediately upon hearing his suggestive words. If your ears weren't deceiving you then he was most probably chuckling, thriving from teasing you.

"Shut it." You weren't sure what had given you the confidence to talk to one of the most dangerous villains like that but then again, he was pushing your limits with this. If you had known that the walls were so thin or that you were a little too loud then you would have never indulged in your desires.

But what was done, was done. You couldn't do anything to take it back.

"Oh I have become quite the greedy bastard, doll."

"You act like a starved man."

"How can I not?" He let out a breathy chuckle. Really how thin were those shitty walls? "It's not often a girl treats me like a human being."

There was something in his words. Not sarcasm, not honesty. You couldn't quite pinpoint it but the way he said 'human being' was a little... off. As if he didn't believe it.

Nevertheless, you didn't respond, slowly getting out of your comfortable and warm bed to start getting dressed. It was past midnight and even though you had tried to ignore the growling sounds of your stomach, too tired and bored to cook, you couldn't take it anymore.

The pace with which you brushed your teeth and wore new clothes was a fast one. It was extremely cold and the air condition in your apartment was broken to the point where it only produced cold air.

In a matter of five minutes, you were walking towards the nearest convinience store, a small -almost tiny- building. You rarely went there, unless you actually couldn't avoid it. Located at the end of the narrow alley, a straight line from where your apartment building was, was the tiny and creepy looking convinience store. The only source of light was the cold tone faint lamp inside the store -practically a horror movie setting.

The old man working there was almost half asleep, not even paying attention to the costumers walking in or if they were paying for what they were buying or straight up stealing. You couldn't help but feel bad for him, feeling sorry that he didn't have a second employee to work the night shifts and that his store was so scary looking that almost no one walked in.

Not wanting to distrub his sleep, you walked straight towards the aisle with the instant noodles hoping to find something that could ease your hunger.

Normally you wouldn't have to browse so much because the store you usually went to had way more options which included your favourite but here the options were quite limited.

That was when you felt someone staring at you. At first you thought it was Dabi -with how deeply the old man at the counter was sleeping he could have easily walked in unnoticed. You were going to ignore it. Not wanting your encounters with him to become more awkward than they already were.

And so you did. But the feeling that someone was straight up stalking you continued and something in you screamed that if it was Dabi then he would have said something already. Yet... how well did you actually know that man? Apart from the information provided by the news and the internet, you knew nothing. Well he loved cats but that was it. Would he really speak to you or would he just wait until you were scared shitless and then tease you endlessly? You didn't know.

Dabi was a villain after all. Villains lie.

"I would never hurt you my ass." You mumbled under your breath and grabbed the first pack of noodles, ready to leave when you noticed that the old man was not in he counter anymore. That was when it settled in, that feeling that you were being watched.

There was a new man on the counter, whatever his quirk was his face resembled the face of a bird and it was so unsettling. From the way this man's eyes were placed basically at the sides of his face to the way his nose was huge. Everything made you scared.

Placing the exact amount of money the noodles cost on the counter, you managed to pull your shit together and actually walk out of the store. You had seen that man before. His face was on wanted posters across your neighbour and even though you hadn't stop to check his crimes, you could tell that he was dangerous.

Where had that old man gone?

You ran back to your apartment, quickly locking the door behind you and setting the noodles on the kitchen table before heading to the bedroom to change back in your pyjamas.

Just when silence had fallen upon the apartment, the only sound being the water being boiled for the noodles, you heard a knock on your door. Standing frozen above the boiling water, you prayed that whoever was outside would leave.

"Doll it's me. Open up before the police finds me because I did a very bad thing."

Dabi's voice was the last thing you had expected to hear... theoretically because in practice... you didn't talk to anyone else in the building.

The smell of smoke and ash filled the living room when Dabi walked in. "There you are, why don't you help with my stapples hm?"

"I thought you were next door." You asked confused, trying to make sense of why he was in your apartment and why his skin was falling off at some places.

"I was." He looked back at you, clearly amused by how confused you were. A small smirk found its place on his face and removed his boots before laying down on the couch. "But then you stopped responding, I heard the door open and I thought I should follow you. And you will be surprised now, doll, there was a creepy guy following you as well."

"That I know." You mumbled removing the pot from the stove and pouring the hot water in the cup of noodles. "He is at the convinience store."

"Was." A small pause followed with you looking at the noodles with wide eyes. "He was at the store. He is not anymore." There was this eerly nonchalant tone in his voice.

"What do you mean... was?" You slowly turned around to face him, almost offended at how he was laying on your couch with his arms behind his head.

"There is no convenience store there anymore. And thus there is no creepy looking guy ogling at my girl on this planet, anymore."

Needless to say that you were dumbfounded. You couldn't even find the words or figure out if you should feel scared or honoured that someone did this for you.

"You burnt the guy-"

"The convenience store." He quickly corrected you.

"What about the old guy?"

"That creepy looking dude um..." He didn't have to say more. You were a little shocked.

"Why?"

"You took care of my scars..." He said, his deep voice barely above a whisper. "And that dude deserved it okay? He had been mocking the League for quite some time now. And if I hadn't burnt him, Shigaraki would have turned him into ash." He paused again. "That's not the point though. No one bothers my girl, that's all."

A/n: DABI DARK ROMANCE LET'S GO

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myherobotle · 1 year

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Chapter 388 leak spoilers under the cut!

There’s so many citizens in the blast zone, I wonder what the hero’s plan is? Cause I feel like it’s more dangerous outside, but then again the inside of the place was blowing up too. I guess no where is safe

Gorgeous visual of the soon-to-be-explosion. The remedial kids looking at it too, I do wonder if they’ll see five-pee-pee man save Touya and his family.

Not to mention the Todoroki family, their faces are devastating. I just want this family to be happy :(

Off topic but Shouto gets his dramatic hair in the wind thing from Rei.

Rei’s face here, to me it looks like she knows she can’t run away from Touya this time. She’s trying to be there for ALL her kids, I love to see her growth as a mother.

She’s so badass for stealing that robot to get to Touya and Endeavor.

HURT MY HEART WHY DONT YOU

God, this panel is so beautiful. Reis face burning :(

Just :(

Dabi looks so fucked up here, Rei talking to him. I’m going to sob

NATSUO AND FUYUMI

Both of them running into the fire, Fuyumi in particular is making me emotional. She’s been the rock for years and seeing her like this is just sad :(

Natsuo my boy,

Horikoshi why do you do this to us.

I agree with @class1akids with their take on this being Touas POV. I think no matter whos POV this is its still so sad.

#manga spoilers #bnha 388 #mha spoilers #tumblr is not on my side today

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maibi · 3 years

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Dying

Dabi x reader

Warnings: kinda an open ending, sick!reader (pancreas problems), a little bit of cursing, sad topics T_T Might contain a certain spoiler about Dabi’s past.

Summary: based on the story ‘I want to eat your pancreas’ but with my own twists here and there. You were sick and Dabi was able to manage you just fine. He was not the caring type, but maybe he changed a little because of you. Teenager! Dabi and teenager! Reader. (Honestly I really recommend you read the light novel of I want to eat your pancreas, cuz holy shit that thing made me feel so many emotions at once)

“It’s your fault for finding my diary, I didn’t tell you to pick it up”, you said as you were happily walking behind Touya while he clearly told you to stop following him. “I mean who does that? Opening the diary of a stranger? You must have been pretty curious, hm.”

“I opened it because I had to find to owner, no more to the story. And why are you still following me? It’s been three weeks since that incident, get over it”, Touya said annoyed.

“Because, my dear Dabi”, you said as you quickened your steps so that you were in front of him, walking backwards with your face pointing his way. “You were the one that found my diary AND you’re the only one who doesn’t give a shit that I’m dying.”

“First of all, I told you not to call me Dabi anymore and second of all, why are you happy that I don’t care about your death? Aren’t you like, supposed to be sad about that?”

“Ah dear Dabi”, you said again, to work on his nerves, ”you do not understand the brain of a dying person.”

Ever since you found out he had a nickname for his online games, you decided to call him by that name whenever you tried to annoy him. He told you not to use it, but if he really hated it that much, he could have put effort onto stopping you. But he didn’t.

“I thought you had pancreas problems, not brain damage”, he said. You weren’t sure if he was being serious or not, but you being you, you didn’t really care about that stuff. You just spoke your mind.

“I mean, my brain does hurt ever since I met you, but my pancreas is really the one with issues”, you said.

Your first encounter with Touya was in school. Though both of you never really said anything to each other you did see each other quite often. Your real encounter, the one that made both of you talk to each other, was the one in the hospital. You had left your diary on a seat and Touya had picked it up. Because he wanted to know who it belonged to, he had read a part of your story. A story that was only meant for you to read and for other’s to see after your death. A kind of gift you wanted to leave behind for your loved ones.

Ever since then you just kind of stuck to him, not caring what others might think. You had a bubbly personality anyways, people would just assume it was you being nice again. You realized that he didn’t treat you any different ever since he got to know your truth that you had been hiding, the fact you were slowly dying because of your pancreas. And because of that realization you just knew he would be the perfect person to be around with. He didn’t really liked your company all the time and he wasn’t ashamed to tell you, but he never shut you out meaning he probably didn’t mind your presence that much.

“Funny. You know what would be more fun, if you actually left me alone”, he said as he grabbed you by the shoulders and lightly pushed you aside. He quickened his steps and tried to get rid of you. But you were a dedicated person and you would get what you wanted.

“Do you have plans for Saturday?”, you boldly asked.

“Besides reading, no”, he casually answered as you kept walking behind him. You had noticed that he had started walking faster, so you also spend up .

You took a small sprint so that you were walking in front of him again. You stopped walking and turned around. When you did that he stopped in track, looking confused at you. You raised both eyebrows and laughed. He hadn’t caught on and it was pretty funny to see that. “That means you’re free to hang with me, am I correct?”

You knew he couldn’t lie for his life, and that he couldn’t make up an excuse to not spend a day with you. His face scrunched when he realized he had fallen in your trap. You started laughing loudly. “I’ll meet you at the station at 1 p.m. Be on time, you wouldn’t want to make a girl wait now do you?”

He shook his head while closing his eyes. You could tell he wasn’t the happiest about it, because in the end you had stolen his free day. He was the type of person to not be that active. He didn’t like doing stuff, or going out. He liked to spend his days inside with a book or by playing games. Even while playing his games he wasn’t interested in teaming up with others so he always played solo. You laughed at him for it, but he called it independence.

He let out a sigh as he walked past you. “Don’t forget! You refused to give me your number so I won’t be able to remind you through text!”

He stopped walking and took his bag off of his shoulder. He opened his bag, but you weren’t able to see what he was doing. He zipped his bag closed and threw it over his shoulder. He walked in your direction as you tilted your head to the side, looking questionable. When he was in front of you he stuck a sticky note on your forehead. Without saying another word he turned around and left.

You took the sticky note and read what was on there. It was his number. You knew he wouldn’t forget about the so called date, but he still gave you his number meaning he probably enjoyed your presence. “Dabi Boy so cute!” You screamed to annoy him one last time.

“Don’t call me that!”, he screamed in monotone, not even looking back.

You laughed to yourself as you looked at his phone number. you started jumping around while screaming a little bit, making some people turn their faces in your direction. But you didn’t care, you were happy and the world could know this.

You excitedly saved his number on your phone and directly texted him.

“Sick girl texting, bet this is Dabi Boy!”

“I will end your bloodline if you call me Dabi Boy again.”

“So harsh Touya! That makes me sad.”

You didn’t get a response, but you weren’t really expecting one. He was the type of person to only text back when he really felt the need to, but in this situation it wasn’t really necessary.

You were excited when Saturday arrived. You had texted Touya in the morning telling him you’d wait for him. But you being the problematic teenager that you were, came late on purpose. You could feel it, he would call you out for being late because you had told him to not make you wait.

You happily hopped your way towards Touya, who was sitting on a bench with a book in his hand. You plopped next to him and grabbed his arm to get his attention. “So. What’s the planning?”, you asked.

“First of all, you are 20 minutes late and second of all you are the one that set the date so I was expecting you to make the planning”, he said while trying to pull hiss arm away.

“Aha! The answer I expected, but my dear Dabi, that’s not the way to my heart. Try again next time. As for now, I did make a planning so you’ll have to following me”, you happily said.

Of course this wasn’t a date to you guys. He knew this and so did you, that’s why he didn’t feel the need to answer on your remark. it’s not like he wasn’t your type or that he wasn’t interesting at all, it was just that you couldn’t really attach yourself to someone when death was so near to you. Though it was hard, to not feel anything at all.

You allowed yourselves to enjoy today. From walking in the park to eating at an all you can eat restaurant and filling yourselves until you couldn’t even walk anymore. You did everything to enjoy your day and looking at the fact that Touya wasn’t complaining you were sure he was having at least a little bit fun.

“Hmm, what about love interest? What is your type? Or what kind of girls do you fall for, if your interests are limited to girls”, you smugly said.

“Never thought about it”, he just casually said as the both of you walked on the beach with your shoes in your hands.

“Boring”, you sang. “Is there really no girl in class that you think is cute? Come on there has to be at least one person.

“I don’t really pay attention to people I don’t want to engage with. But if I really have to give you an answer, I do think you look cute”, he said without a pause in his sentence.

You felt your face heat up and even if he got at least a little bit embarrassed, he didn’t show it at all. You acted like it didn’t effect you and casually shook it off. “I mean of course you think I’m cute, I look amazing”, you said as you walked in front of him while cupping your face with your hands while you stared at him.

It wasn’t really the best idea to be walking backwards with your instability. Before you knew it you were stumbling over your own feet, but before you could hit the ground Touya had you in his arms to stop you from falling.

You blinked twice, and again, and again. He did exactly the same, shocked about his fast reflexes. He pulled you up, but removed his hands from around your waist the moment you were stable on your both feet. He started walking without another word and cleared his throat.

“Thank you”, you muttered.

There was a long silence while the both of you walked. The sun was setting and you just silently followed behind him. He didn’t slow down for you and you didn’t speed up for him. You followed the steps he left in the sand and noticed how much bigger his feet were. A small laugh escaped your mouth and he confusingly turned around.

“What are you laughing about”, he said. If a random person had told you that same sentence in that tone you would have taken it offensive, but because it was Touya talking you didn’t take it serious.

“Your big toe really is… big”, you said.

He looked at you with a concerned look on his face and that made you laugh even more.

“I mean, that’s why it’s called the big toe?”, he annoyingly said. “You really search for the smallest details to make fun of me don’t you?”

“Well it’s easy to annoy you and your reactions are always priceless. Plus you’re never really offended when I call you out for stuff, that makes it all the more enjoyable. To put it shortly, you’re just able to keep up with my bullshit.”

“God, why must I have been the chosen one. She is crazy”, he said while looking up.

You were quite shocked to see this reaction. He wasn’t the type to say things like this in a sarcastic way. He wasn’t even a person that used sarcasm. So when he said that he kinda just caught you off guard. “He has chosen the words of sarcasm”, you said as if it was a miracle. “You make me prouder with every passing day.”

He looked you dead in the eye, but failed to keep a straight face. You could tell he showed a lot of emotions to you today. You finally understood how his raising eyebrows and slightly widening eyes meant he was excited about something, or how his face tilted up a bit when he had won an argument with you. You were proud to say that you were the reason behind all those expressions and you were happy to have experienced them with him.

You knew deep down that you actually liked him, but telling him would cause a problem. Besides the fact that it could ruin the friendship you had, it could also ruin the fact that he did not care about your death. It was a treasure you held. He was the only one that wouldn’t get sad when your death was mentioned and he was the only one that didn’t judge you for living this way. You didn’t want to loose that. But yet in a way it felt like he didn’t care at all. It felt like your death would mean absolutely nothing to him

He didn’t say anything on that, because he felt the same. He never knew he needed this. He never knew that opening up would lead to him feelings things that not even his books could give him. He was just clueless to those feelings. Calling you cute, was nothing out of the ordinary for him, because for him it was just a fact that could be know, and a not a secret that should be held.

“Oh, let’s watch the sunset there”, you pointed at a place on a rock that was hidden away from the public. He looked at you once before looking at that place. you started walking that way when you received a not of approval from him. “I bet it’ll look amazing”, you excitedly said. “It’s not everyday I get to watch the sunset with you.”

He didn’t budge on your flirting attempt, but looking at his slight rosy cheeks told you you had succeeded in whatever it was that you were trying to get out of him.

The both of you sat on the rock with your face pointed to the view. It was beautiful and it was a good way to end the day. Reflecting on your day with him was something that made you smile. You were able to get the best out of him. The person that did not like taking pictures, allowed you to take selfies with him. The person that was so called emotionless had rosy cheeks when you failed at a flirting attempt. You had seen him smile and laugh. You seen the confusion on his face whenever he didn’t understand something and it was heartwarming in your opinion, because he felt comfortable enough to show you all these emotions.

But here was something you had noticed. Something you had been thinking about, but never brought up. He didn’t talk about you dying for even a little bit. Whenever you brought up the subject, he tried to shake it off. You were confused, but didn’t question it. You were keeping a lot to yourself too so he probably had his reasons.

You tried to lay down on your back as you looked at the dark blue sky, stars almost visible, but just not yet. “Have you ever had your first kiss?”, you asked.

“Nope”, he replied.

“Pathetic”, you said.

“Did you?”, he asked without looking at you.

“Well I wouldn’t call you pathetic if I hadn’t kissed before”, you shrugged,”so yeah I’ve had my first kiss.”

He didn’t respond to that. “Why do you never talk about me dying”, you said.

He saw him tense up, but he didn’t respond. perhaps he didn’t feel the need to answer this, but you didn’t like it. of course it was good that he wasn’t feeling bad about it, but the least he could do was worry.

“I mean, it’s okey to talk about it from time to time, I don’t really mind. I just hoped that you cared at least a little bit. I know I told you that I didn’t like it when people got sad when they saw me, but I feel comfortable around you so I want you to at least care about me and my condition”, you said, in a soft voice.

You had never spoken this silently or with this many sad emotions. You had felt him turn around, but you didn’t look up. He was squatted down in front of you and he tilted your head up with his fingers. His actions shocked you, but he didn’t seem budged by it.

“I do care about you and I do get sad when I think about your future. But because of that I don’t talk about you dying. Because I don’t want you to be reminded of that while you are with me. I want you to only remember good memories when you are with me. So I rather didn’t want to open that conversation. But if you really thought I didn’t car, you are wrong. I care too much”, he said.

He just looked at you with soft eyes and you didn’t know what to respond. Instead of responding, you did something you hadn’t expected. Something that even left you in shock.

You kissed him. And strangely, he kissed you back as if knowing that this was about to happen.

When the both of you pulled away, you had tears falling down your cheeks. “What if I told you I was actually afraid of dying? What would you say?”

His hands were still resting on your cheeks. “I will stay right here with you until the end. I have no intention of leaving.”

#dabi #dabi todoroki #touya #toua todoroki #todoroki #dabi x reader #dabi mha #dabi bnha #dabi imagine #dabi x y/n #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha

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thisloveforyourmom · 3 years

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If shigaraki gonna get saved can we at least kill dabi or something? Like youre really gonna give us a taste of victory by killing twice and then just leave it there?

#bnha dabi #toua todoroki #bnha twice #tomura shigaraki #jin bubaigawara #bnha

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ficfinding · 2 years

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#My Hero Academia Fic Find! When touya todoroki ran away, he was hit with a time travel quirk. Now back in time, and younger he meets inko and hisashi midoriya and they adopt him. I think it ends with dabi claiming to be touya, then proceeding to get his ___ kicked, not sure. #Fic find Thx!!!

Havent seen any time traveling toua before…

#fic find #Mha

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gourmetspinach · 4 years

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anyone got any good bnha fic recs?

heavy todoroki fam angst (or toua/dabi/shouto centric) is preferred & i’m good with pretty much anything, so dont be scared to send some crazy shit-ive probably read worse already anyway.

also if you have any erasermic/aizawa-accidentally-adopts-children fics that would be great too

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linkspooky · 5 years

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Shigaraki and Dabi: Death and Rebirth

Shigaraki and Dabi both have the most destructive quirks of the entire league of villains. Shigaraki’s Decay and Dabi’s Cremation are both quirks that quickly reduce people to ash, totally killing them. However, both boys also actively kill themselves every time they use their quirks. Both of them are covered in scars from the overuse of their quirks on their bodies.

Underneath the cut, an examination on how both Tomura and Dabi are dying due to their quirks, and how both of them might live. All of the things Dabi (荼毘) “Cremation” and Tomura (弔) “Funerals” or Tomurau (To Mourn) are connected to each other in death, and in life.

Neither Shigaraki nor Dabi go by their real names anymore. They both choose to go by aliases which both represent the deaths of their former selves by their connection to funeral services, Dabi for cremation and Tomura (Tomurau) for mourning as the one who who beckoms mourning.

They are named for both the cause and effect of death. Dabi cremates others effectively burning them to death. Tomura decays, which rots their bodies the same way a corpse would slowly rot until they are killed. They also are named for the effect of death, cremation is a funeral service done to a dead body the most common type of funeral in japan. Whereas Tomuraau “Mourning” is what is done at funerals. Both the death and the grief of death are represented in both characters.

At the same time, what Tomura and Dabi to to others they are also inflicting on themselves. They kill others, they kill themselves. They inflict pain on others, they inflict pain on themselves. Their names can serve as a symbol for what they have done to others, but also what has been done to them.

Just as AFO says, the original Shimura Tenko is long gone. Tomura was born from the death of his former self. The same way in which Dabi was only name from the “death” of Todoroki Touya. Both of them had to experience a death of their former selves to become who they are currently.

They also both experienced death, but in opposite ways. Tenko killed his own family by accident. Touya was most likely killed in a training accident (considering his family never mentions him they may even consider him death). Toua had death inflicted upon him by a family member. They also both experienced death in direct relation to their quirk, Tenko’s quirk decayed everyone he touched, whereas Touya’s body was not suited to his quirk at all and he himself was killed just by using it. They are also, children who were born with mutant quirks, Dabi is a failed hybrid who was intentionally bred for Enji’s sake, whereas Tomura’s quirk was a random mutation.

They also both use quirks which actively kill and harm their own bodies. They subject themselves to this pain over and over again. Dabi himself is burning up on the inside when he summons his flames, Tomura’s quirk decays his own body.

Both of them are active harbringers of death as well. Dabi’s falmes can spread like wildfire and kill everyone around him, whereas Tomura’s decay can spread to entire crowds of people. Their victims are reduced entirely to ash.

They both kill with little compunction or hesitation, but at the same time they also both overuse their quirks, and keep fighting with no regards at all to how their bodies are damaged by it.

Dabi will fight when his body is burning up and his stitches leaking smoke and keep pushing through, Shigaraki will have his hand destroyed, go insane in a middle of a fight, have his arms start to decay and still keep on fighting. Dabi is in stitches, Shigaraki is covered in scars, and yet they continue to harm themselves physically and also mentally. Both of them remark about the fact that they’re slowly going crazy from thoughts int their own head. They also both smile and laugh it off, because they both harm themselves in the same way, and they both cope in the same way.

Both Shigaraki and Dabi self destruct. They inflict death upon themselves, they self harm because of the harm inflicted upon them in the past. That is why they are so closely tied in with death, but how can two characters tied to death also represent rebirth?

1. Dabi is a Phoenix

Dabi immolates, burns, and cremates himself every time he uses his quirk. If he is Touya then we know, just like Shimura who suffered from a freak mutant quirk, he was “born wrong” in a way.

Endeavor knew about the weakness in his quirk, intentionally bred himself with an ice quirk knowing that he could also make children who suffer worse from the weakness of his quirk than he does, had three “failures” and then Todoroki. Not only does Touya represent death he’s also a “failure at life” having never been born in the first place, hence why his character necessitates a symbolic rebirth.

Their circumstances from “birth” were wrong from the start, due to their parents. While this is just speculation it was likely Endeavor’s special move “Flash Fire” which resulted in the burns on Dabi’s body. This is due to one, the burns are in the same locations that Endeavor’s flames come out of, and two Endeavor himself specifically mentions Touya when telling Todoroki he was going to pass on that technique and he had no choice but to learn it.

We have seen how actively harmful and abusive Enji’s training techniques are, and how he inflicts them on young children no older than five (around the same age Tenko was as well). Enji will push them actively beyond their limits, train Shoto until his entire body was smoking and he was vommitting from the pain.

Then, he will insist that they are capable of handling far more than this, they’re just pretending to be weak. That they should be able to handle the pain if they wanted to. When they obviously cannot stand up again like Enji commands them too, he then hauls more abuse on top of them for being weak and gets violent.

The thing about abused children is they may despise their abuser and try to be the opposite of whatever he says, but they will still internalize things from their environment. Especially if they are young, isolated (like Todoroki was from his other siblings) and are not exposed to anything else.

Not only does Enji physically beat these children, but he alsoactively encourages an extremely harmful mindset. That any show of weakness at all is running away. That if they can’t endure this pain, it’s their own fault. Every time they are in pain he insists they are just pretending and they can handle more if they really wanted to.

There is a studied link between Self-Injury and childhood maltrreatment.

One framework involves three different pathways that overlap and interact. These pathways are: regulatory, representational, and reactive. During child maltreatment, these pathways are not correctly developed and cause problems with adapting normally to life. These pathways are. Regulatory: Disturbance created by trauma in cognitive and affective processing, thinking and feelings, and expressing emotional states.

Representational: Self-injury could be caused by disturbances in child-caregiver attachment that has impaired working models of the self and others Selfinjury therefore could result from learning ineffective emotion management.

Reactive: Neurobiological response to trauma is altered (excitatory and inhibitory processes). Children who have experienced maltreatment could have very high stress responses.

[SOURCE]

In other words children who grow up in an environment of constant harm are more likely to self harm. While Dabi is fighting against Endeavor, he also harms himself in the way Endeavor harmed him, by pushing his quirk to his absolute limit and harming his body because as he was taught, if he shows any weakness he’s just pretending, he can’t run away from this pain. Dabi’s is clearly some kind of regulatory and representational, he cannot process his pain in any meaningful way, and he does not have a strong sense of self because he does not take care of himself at all and instead actively destroys himself over and over for the sake of an objective. (In my opinion, Shigaraki’s is probably a mix of that and also reactive due to his compulsive excoriation).

Touya was taught the only good thing about him were the same flames that actively harm him. The only way he can be strong is by hurting himself. He’s also taught if he was strong enough, he would not be in pain. Strength comes from harming himself, and strength is the only release from his pain. It’s an extremely unhealthy and self destructive mindset. There’s no future in that, we only see him burn away slowly trying to at least be a martyr and burn up in the name of some cause.

We see evidence again and again of Dabi fighting even when his insides are boiling. His response to pain is always to push himself farther past his limits, even as his stitches start to bleed and smoke pours out of them. In this case, overuse of his quirk is an act of self harm and one that he was taught.

It’s self destruction, it’s the death of himself. It’s a response to the environment he was raised in, Touya was born wrong, he was a failure, and therefore he never should have been born in the first place. The only thing his current self can do is hope to die and be reborn.

Dabi himself however, is tied to a symbol of death and rebirth.

Fenghuang or the phoenix is represented as a symbol of duality. It represents yin, and yang, black and white, death and rebirth. It also represents a union between a phoenix and a male chinese dragon. (Dabi’s skin is covered in scales and there’s several panels of him breathing fire). They represents opposites and dualities together, like sky and earth for exmaple (hawks can fly, Dabi cannot). Duality, rather than opposites the sets are believed to be part of a pair together with more in common than they have differences.

Dabi’s particular method of self destruction is to burn himself to death, death by flames. Which is the particular way phoenixes are thought to die and be reborn. Not only are Hawks’ feathers specifically colored in as red but we have also seen art of him and his feathers burning up entirely. Hawks’ feathers also regrow when they have been burnt off.

Other than Endeavor, Dabi is the most important character to Hawks arc. Other than Shigaraki, Hawks is the most important character to Dabi’s arc. The two of them are tied together by plot and by symbolism.

Dabi symbolizes death. On the path he is on, he will eventually burn up and die in the fires he himself stoked for some cause. However, in that burning death there is also a chance to be reborn. The same way that Hawks is foreshadowed to fall, Dabi is foreshadowed to be burned by his won flames but the both of them have a chance in each other.

2. Shigaraki is a Butterfly

In the latest chapter we see Shigaraki in the same mindset, desperate to destroy himself and emerge from the cocoon as something else, a butterfly.

For millennia, the world has latched on to the image of the butterfly: its metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly used as a metaphor for death and rebirth.

It is a spiritual symbol for life after death because of its metamorphosis, or transformation, from a caterpillar that crawls on the ground to a beautiful, almost ethereal creature that flies through the air. It has also become a symbol for personal growth and spiritual rebirth.

In killing themselves, both Dabi and Shigaraki are seeking what lies beyond their pain, that life for them can only come after their original flawed selves are completely destroyed. That their only escape from this pain is death, and they are both taught to feel this way, taught to exist in a cycle where they continaully harm themselves.

Just look at the way Shigaraki acts this chapter. As the doctor points out, Shigaraki has basically already won himself a victory, thousands of subordinates, and proven himself and yet that is still enough for him. He’s even significantly upgraded his quirk beyond its previous bounds which is so rare in the series its a once in a lifetime freak event.

Yet, that still is not enough for Shigaraki. Not because he is a pwoer hungry villain, but even now after having acquired so much he does not feel safe with what he has, he does not feel like he is enough.Because even with all of that strength, his body was still broken into pieces the last time he fought and yet he still believes it is going to happen again. He is taught to expect pain, pain is all he sees. He only knows how to fight and be strong by breaking himself again and again.

This is also an attitude he internalized the same way that Dabi did. Shigaraki has the idea in his head that he was born wrong. That it was his birth itself that led to the idea of his family being destroyed. That he wanted it. Therefore, to start out with he is someone who should have never been born.

He also existed in a household that denied his existence, and individual needs in the first place. And this was before AFO even entered the picture. Tenko was taught that he was the one causing the disturbance in this household, and he was the one provoking his father into harming him.

Therefore it’s a logical step that Tenko then makes the leap to assign the blame for a freak accident onto himself. They all must have died because he wanted them to. It’s not something Shigaraki takes pleasure in, he actively loathes himself for it. The hands are a reminder of his guilt and he is constantly mourning, so self disgusted to the point of nausea.

As much as he hates everyone else he hates himself. Tomura is sick of himself most of all. What he did against his family is something he not only continually punishes himself for over and over again, but he also keeps mourning them and never allows himself to heal. Tomura even mutters I’m sorry whenever his father’s hand is knocked off of his face.

All for One also reinforces Shigaraki’s self loathing. He tells him again and again that he was born a violent child, that he’s violent because he wants to be, that he’s someone who has a natural urge to inflict harm on others. In other words he was born wrong. Shigaraki’s guilt for destroying his family comes from the fact he’s been told over and over again, he wanted to destoy them, he was born a freak meant to ruin that house.

All for One even goes a step beyond and continually tells him that the pain Shigaraki feels due to his trauma is caused by himself. That he is inflicting it on himself by hodling back, the same way Enji said that Shoto was only pretending to be hurt and he could handle this.

That there is something inside Shigaraki that is always hurting him and that he can never escape from. All for One introduces the stressors to Shigaraki’s body that causes him to psychologically break down, the hands of his family, exposure to violence again and again, and then insists that all of this is Shigaraki hurting himself.

And then twists the logic around to make Shigaraki believe that this is what Shigaraki wants to do. He wants to be violent, he wants to cause death, on himself and others.

Tomura is encouraged to actively harm himself in order to be strong, overuse his decay quirk which is not suited to his body, and also to continuously hold onto feelings of grief that will only injure and scar his heart even more. All for the purpose of making him into a violent, unstable person.

Then, when Shigaraki is continuouly trapped within this cycle of violence which he can never escape from, Shigaraki is told that his only escape is to become stronger than everybody else. Shigaraki sees no future, no escape, he’s told again and again there’s no healing for someone like him, there’s no future. Just like Dabi the only future he sees is in death, which is why he does not think about the future at all.

Shigaraki is a bug, a worm in the dirt dying to be reborn as a butterfly. He’s glitchy, defective, born wrong someone who was born to curse and destroy his family.

The reason he wants to destroy everything is not because he enjoys destruction, but because he has been pushed to such extremes that he’s desperate for any kind of relief, and sees his only way to be free is to destroy absolutely everything around him. He believes he is so hopeless that there’s no way for him to live in the current world, only to die and be reborn.

Shigaraki has been taught, just like Dabi to continually harm himself to gain power, and that freedom from the pain will only come for him when he has power.

Which is what directly leads us to the latest chapter again. It’s never going to be enough for him. Shigaraki already gains power, and we see he falls into his pattern once more, he intentionally inflicts upon himself four entire months of pain, an unnecessary and risk of surgery. Because surviving unbearable pain is the only way he knows how to get stronger. He has subjected himself to pain over and over again, and continues to self harm even when All for One is in prison and away from him because it was all he was taught and therefore all he knows. He self harms to make up for the perceived deficiency in himself.

He has to enter the coccoon, because his new self is not good enough and it never will be.

Shigaraki, desperate to die in a cocoon and be reborn, Dabi desperate to die in flames and be reborn, but both of them were fine as they were. There’s still a chance for those children who believe themselves already dead to heal, and to live for te first time.

#mha meta #my hero academia meta #boku no hero academia meta #shigaraki tomura meta #dabi meta #league of villains meta #shigaraki tomura #dabi #dabi is a todoroki #touya todoroki #shimura tenko #all for one #enji todoroki #meta

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