#to these normal people and their normal drama | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genericpuff · 2 days

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From the standpoint of someone who doesn't even like LO that much. Reading through this gave me a strange sense of discomfort? I think. Something about the combination of the essays, and the digs at the author in a lot of posts, and making a community based on it, and the ranting. It made it feel a lot more group ragging on something than normal fandom re-writes. I can't help but want to say something on the subject (0/3)

Gonna respond to all your asks together if that's okay, from what I can glean there's a word limit on mobile (?) so it makes it very interesting to see who's able to put all their thoughts into one big ask vs. who has to cut them up into parts 😆

So I can understand that discomfort, it's actually one that I also initially felt towards the community when I discovered it. Though even more so because when I found out about antiLO being a thing, I was still a MASSIVE fan of LO and my thought was "wow, these people are losers" LOL but then a lot of what they were saying resonated with me more as I realized the story was going nowhere (it was around the trial arc when Eris was revealed to be the 'reason' for Persephone's wrath).

All that said, I don't think I was wrong to feel off back then even though I don't feel that way now. We have our own takes and ways of approaching certain subjects, and how we feel is how we feel.

I will say that I can't, in any way, take credit for 'creating' the community. AntiLO pre-existed me by years and I was simply welcomed in as my opinions of the comic changed. I was a lot more involved in UnpopularLoreOlympus when it was born around the S2 finale of the comic. So... don't give me any sort of credit in 'owning' this community or anything of that sort, I came in during a period when criticism of the comic was becoming more common practice. I'm just also someone who's very verbose and loud in their opinions which appeals to a lot of people in this community, so I get why people might see me as some kind of "pillar" within it or like I'm the loudest person in the room, but I promise you that doesn't mean I have any sort of ownership over this part of the fandom or that I feel my opinions carry any more weight than the people around me. It's just a community, after all, not a religion.

It's true that saying I'm not making money off Rekindled doesn't mean I'm not benefiting off it in other ways. But the 'benefits' are still kinda... nothing? in the grand scheme of things? like okay great I have loads of people reading my stuff every update but like, this is still just Tumblr lmao none of this is real and as soon as Rekindled is over, I might be lucky to bring some of the readers over into my next project, but I doubt whatever I do next will get as popular as Rekindled was. All the "benefits" I get are virtually the same as what people writing fanfiction get on AO3 get or what people doing redraw videos on Youtube get. It's fake Internet points for making fan creations.

And that's okay, because that's sorta just the nature of fandom in general, throughout any niche community. People will be naturally drawn to what's familiar and what I do here appeals to the people who are familiar with LO and the criticisms of it, often people who agree with those criticisms. The Zelda community has LinkedUniverse, Pokemon has Hanamusa, Attack on Titan has communities that are dedicated to loving the anime, hating the anime, and even dunking on people who don't 'get' the anime, Undertale has every single crazy rewrite and rewrites-of-rewrites that have been spawned from its fanbase. Did you know there's an entire community of people who discuss and argue over fire alarms? I didn't, but when I found out about it, it was after listening to a video on Youtube discussing all the interconnected drama of the fire alarm community. Like that's wild and seems so stupid and pointless... but it matters to the people who are in it, and my opinion of how they operate isn't going to change how it makes them feel to be a part of that space. That's kinda just human nature, we create our own little microcosms of things to bond over so for people within those microcosms, any amount of disagreement or discomfort will feel massive in proportion.

I guess the point of what I'm trying to say is that a lot of this stuff feels crazy loud but it's really only that loud because it's occupying a single room.

The reality is that Rekindled is still a very niche project dedicated to a niche webtoon that's a part of a niche medium. As loud as it is within here, it's still only because it's such a closed community. Anyone outside of the Webtoons community has zero clue what it is. The 'attention' that I'm getting is still from other niche people who occupy a very specific interest.

And that's not even exclusive to Rekindled, despite Webtoons attempts to sell LO as a 'worldwide phenomenon', a lot of people don't know it exists and couldn't care less. Does that mean my rantings about the comic and its creator matter any less to me or the people who are interested in them? Not really. Is it all pointless? Maybe, but not everything really needs to have some bigger point. We're all kinda just here spending time talking about something we both love and can't stand. What I say about LO and do with Rekindled is undoubtedly inconsequential and pointless to people who aren't in the room. That's fine. That's why I keep it all in my own house. There are definitely people who talk about it outside of the home but that's far from what I can control.

That said, I think LO also does fall into a very unique category where it's very easy to do rewrites and redraws of it simply because it, in and of itself, is a rewrite. Rekindled is far from being the first "fix it" fic, not only of LO but also of any piece of media in general, it's not really a new phenomenon (but again, when it's loud, it can be easy to go "well clearly YOU had to influence this"). People are drawn to retelling LO or 'fixing' it because LO is based on Greek myth. If it weren't for that, no, I don't think people would be as interested in doing so. It's because we literally have a solid foundation of reference material - the myths and original poems - that we can go "hey, why did LO do this? it should have / could have been xyz". You can't really do that as much with a purely original work besides wish fulfillment of "what if xyz happened" because whatever an original piece of work winds up being is clearly what it was meant to be. We have nothing to compare it against.

But with LO, we know what it could have been because we know what it was trying to be since day 1 - a retelling of the Abduction of Persephone. That's not to say we always knew exactly what Rachel was planning on doing with it, but it's not hard to be disappointed when we see certain mythical stories being established in LO - such as the tale of Eros and Psyche, the Titanomachy, etc. - only to see them get dropped or completely mishandled.

On the one hand I could use HADES and Stray Gods as examples of popular media that don't get 'rewritten' the same way LO does because while they have their own unique interpretations of the myths they're based on, they still feel like properly thought out stories that appreciate the source material. LO, by comparison, feels like it's written by someone who hates Greek myth.

But on the other hand, those rewrites may absolutely exist and I'm just not aware of them because I don't occupy those rooms! The world is only as big as we perceive it to be.

That said, it's always sort of ironic to me when people say Rekindled is "riding off the coattails of LO" because while I can understand their sentiment - because obviously it's a direct re-creation of LO - that opinion seems to operating from the assumption that LO was ever not riding off Greek myth's coattails to begin with.

And no, I don't think my criticizing of LO on an LO-focused blog should in any way be conflated with "media isn't allowed to be bad". I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm into loads of bad media. I'm also fully capable of enjoying a piece of media but also shit-talking it without actually feeling any sort of vitriol towards it. House M.D. is one of my favorite TV shows but goddamn some of the plots are just so dramatic and out-of-this-world that you can't help but laugh at them (and that's why we have spaces like /r/okaybuddyvicodin LOL). One of my favorite games growing up was Starfox Adventures because I had never played the original Starfox games but I had played loads of Zelda and Adventures was basically Zelda but with Starfox, and I know there are plenty of people who will go "but puff, that game is ass!" and I know! But I love it regardless.

With LO, it's not a matter of "bad media shouldn't exist!" it's a matter of observing what makes it so bad and why that's had a negative impact on both the audience it attracts (primarily teenagers and children) as well as the culture it's taking its ideas from. If LO was just some "so bad its good" webtoon that was easy to enjoy but also poke fun at, I would have zero issue. It's the fact that it's blatantly problematic in its writing and intentions but still hailed as the #1 webtoon on the platform (webtoons in and of themselves being a medium that I've lived in for over a decade so it's virtually impossible to get away from whatever is influencing the culture as a whole) while winning all these accolades for being "brilliantly written" and its creator is given a voice over Greek culture when she herself is not Greek or even well-read on Greek culture in any capacity - that's the issue and why I've spent so much time talking about LO. And if it wasn't me, it would be anyone else, because the problem has been around for ages and people have been trying to get the word out about it for years.

I don't necessarily think every 'fix it fic' is built equally. I think it's a case by case thing. A lot of people are deadass just doing it for fun and to be a part of a community, and I think that's wonderful. There are also people who try to do this but ultimately disrespect whatever the creator was going for by somehow implying that their own original ideas were inferior just by existing, or using their fix-it fics as a way to deliberately harass the original creators (ex. whatever the fuck 'art lore' is on TikTok, based on what I've seen it seems purely made for bullying budding artists and talking shit which is... gross af, but I don't think it's anywhere near the same as readers of LO calling out its highly successful award-winning creator for having zero clue what she's doing with her comic lmao). I don't think a blanket statement of "fix it fics are bad" accomplishes anything because it depends on a variety of factors like the person's intentions and what they're trying to accomplish. Many fanfictions in general could be called 'fix it fics' even if the creator 100% loved the source material with zero issue - because they're still saying "what if xyz happened instead"?

Me, personally? I'm someone who loves Greek myth and who used to adore LO. I was very discouraged and upset when I saw it turned into what it became, and I wanted to try my own hand at creating something new out of the rubble that could give me closure. It's what I choose to do with my time and other people seem to enjoy it as well. I'm sure there's loads to criticize and speculate on regarding my 'intentions' in creating it, but at the end of the day I'm sorta just doing what I want to do with my time because I have a lot of thoughts and ideas I need to get out of my head and many of them are thoughts and ideas that other people like reading about.

If you feel uncomfortable by the amount I talk about it here and the way I talk about it, that's fine. Those are your feelings. There are loads of other antiLO-themed blogs to read that might not give you that same vibe. Even I have certain icks towards certain opinions within the antiLO community, I've seen some people be genuinely shitty and I'm sure that's ironic to hear considering you're describing your own discomfort towards my stuff, but we all have different tolerances towards different things at the end of the day.

I do my part to keep things in my own house of a neighborhood that's really small in the grand scheme of things. It just feels like a big neighborhood if you don't travel. There will inevitably come a day where I'll pack my boxes and move elsewhere, talk about new things and write essays about other topics. That's obviously not today but I definitely don't want this to just be like, my entire identity or the rest of my life LOL it's just something I've chosen to spend my free time doing and I'm content with that. Maybe a year from now I'll feel differently, who knows? At the very least I'm hoping to one day finish Rekindled because no, I don't want this to actually be my identity for the rest of my life, change is a good thing LOL but what that change will bring is, for now, a mystery. Here's hoping wherever I end up at least brings its own uniquely good times like I've had here :' )

Sorry, that was a very long response with a lot of sorta aimless muddling over the topic at hand, but thank you for the opportunity to discuss it regardless ! because I do think it's important to find that 'grounding point' when it comes to stuff like this. because as much as I get riled up over LO, yeah, at the end of the day, it's just a dumb webtoon and I don't wanna go soiling myself over it LOL but I'm also just like... running a Tumblr blog with my personal thoughts and ideas, no more or no less. Even the "attention" I get is still only 200-400 notes per new episode of Rekindled, which pales in comparison to any real metrics of "success" imo LMAO again, it just feels loud because this is a niche community made up of a lot of the same names and faces; step outside of it and no one gives a shit LOL

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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glade-constellation · 1 day

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We try to stay away from interacting with drama, as it can be very stressful on us, but yesterday’s TSAMS episode was genuinely upsetting and it’s something I feel needs to be talked about.

TW for alcoholism and suicide, do not continue reading if you feel you cannot handle these topics!!!

(I would like to state that I am not just throwing my opinion around. These are both topics I have dealt with in my life, either from someone I know or myself. I have personal experience with these issues. These opinions are based off of real events in my life that I had to go through.)

Let’s start with how the episode was set up. The thumbnail is funny, the title is obviously mean to get people’s attention. Looks like a normal TSAMS episode where Miku does some weird shit and leaves. Starts out pretty funny. Sun randomly is being given a child and Miku is trying to get him to pull some friends to lovers speedrun that is failing.

There are no TWs on screen anywhere that potentially triggering topics were about to be discussed. They just started talking about alcoholism and suicide.

They made it look like a completely normal episode and gave no warnings that heavy topics would be discussed. They used a joke video to talk about things such as alcoholism and suicide.

That is 100% not how you handle a situation like this. The VAs all have social media, and are in the TSBS discord server. If they were having a problem with people forcing their headcanons to be made canon, they have the ability to use these online platforms and talk about these situations as adults. Literally a kind PSA to the fandom would have done the trick.

“Hey TSAMS Community! We just wanted to give you all a quick reminder that, while headcanons are nice to have, they aren’t factual to the canon. Bullying and harassing others because they don’t agree with you is bad etiquette, and creates an unsafe space with in the fandom. Please be considerate to others around you, even if have different opinions!”

Post that on their social medias and boom. You don’t have to make an entire episode to explain one quick fix! Not a single TW needed! When you are an online content creator with a decent sized fan base, you have to step up and be able to handle situations in an adult way. Using a roleplay YouTube video was just not the way to handle this situation.

Now, Miku is supposed to represent the TSAMS community. Sun was representing the TSAMS staff. When Sun was talking to Miku, it was really the VAs of the show harshly criticizing the audience for having opinions. This is a disgusting way of treating your fans, especially with the topics being talked about. Like I said earlier, you need to be able to be the adult in the situation. You need to treat your fans with respect or they will stop watching your show.

Next, the topics of alcoholism and suicide. With the way the situation was presented, it could definitely be read as Sun becoming an alcoholic. A bottle of wine every day after having never drank before? To a human, that’s a lot of drinking, and a lot of sudden drinking. Until Sun explained that a bottle to us is a glass to him, it sounded like he was getting drunk every night. That would definitely make him an alcoholic. Even then, small drinks each day can eventually lead into addiction. There was valid reason for the fans to believe he was becoming an alcoholic. If you guys didn’t want your fans to see Sun as an alcoholic, then why even turn it into a possible plot point in the first place? It would have been better to just completely dodge the situation if you didn’t want it happening. “How would we address all the wine bottles in the house?” Easy, it’s sparkling grape juice. It’s a fancy cider. It’s some sort of non-alcoholic beverage packaged as one to make it fancier and cost more/sell better.

The part of the episode that upset me the most was how the handled the talk about suicide. Specifically when Earth and Sun were talking about “there are signs that people show when they are suicidal and Sun wasn’t showing anything”.

Sometimes there are signs. Sometimes it’s obvious when people aren’t okay. But it is 100% incorrect to say that every single person who has contemplated suicide, attempted suicide, or died by suicide showed all of the same exact signs of how they were feeling. Not everyone is going to show the same signs. Some signs are so minor that they don’t look like signs at the time. Sometimes signs are overlooked because people close to the person believe the person will tell them if something is wrong, so obviously nothing is wrong since they haven’t said anything. Sometimes the person who is hurting doesn’t want people to know they’re hurting, and they hide it as best they can so people won’t notice. Yes, there are signs, but those signs are so rarely actually caught and treated because people don’t want to believe another people would ever actually go that far.

Sun is a character we have seen past suicidal tendencies from. Often times, these urges or emotions come back, even is situations that don’t seems stressful to others. We as fans were being told that a character with past suicidal tendencies was showing concerning behavior most would associate with relapse (drinking alcohol, becoming more reclusive, etc.).

Calling your fans crazy and gross for being concerned for someone’s life is disgusting behavior.

Saying that the fans are projecting their own problems and then making fun of them for doing so, especially when what they’re projecting is suicidal tendencies? Downright fucking deplorable.

Once again, all you guys needed to do was actually use your social medias.

“Hey guys, we know you’re all worried about Sun right now. We just want to clear up a few misconceptions. As shown in [list of specific episodes], Sun is not dealing with any sort of mental health issues right now. He’s perfectly fine! Please remember that, while it’s okay to have headcanons, your headcanons are not actual canon and are not something to fight other people over.”

That would have stopped both problems addressed in the video without doing so in a harmful and completely unnecessary way. What you guys did was disrespectful, rude, and insensitive. Especially to your fans that are dealing with these things.

When you want to handle talking about heavier topics, you have to be an adult about it. Especially with the big following that TSAMS has. There are moments where you guys have to step out from behind the characters and straight up address the community.

I’m sure that are still a few minor things about the episode that I could talk about, but these are the main things. The fans had every right to believe what they did with the evidence given. Turning it into content for a joke video was not the way to handle this.

#🌟 Ten Talks #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #cw alcohol #tw alcohol #cw suicide #tw suicide

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papayadays · 14 hours

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my take on the drama

dw i’ll bullet point to make it seem like i’m not yapping (i def am)

lemme make this clear, i’m an american girl (not white btw) and am super against trump (the orange man as my friends call him). this is in no way justification against any of his things, and i in fact believe he should get jail time. i’m far from a trump supporter, so don’t twist my words

first of all, this has been blown out of proportion, lando didn’t praise all of trumps work and actions, he just said it was an honor and that trump was respected or whatever

also, it’s not like lando is the next maga supporter. he’s someone who stood by the issues called out: racism, mental health, and gender equality. he’s not an extremist or supremacist or anything

and let’s not forget that trump being here isn’t even in his hands. it was mclaren’s fault because zak brown gives off maga vibes. personally, they shouldn’t let politicians onto track, especially not candidates.

lando was def told by higher ups to be respectful and welcoming to trump, and he was also was on the high of his first race win. i mean, surely you must know the feeling of being on top of the world and having your mind a little cloudy.

mclaren have quite a few american sponsors, and in miami, a freaking culmination of the maga campaign would be a poor place to show even the slightest bit of negative emotions at trump

believe me, riots get crazy, and trump fans are wild.

while y’all are trying to point out all the bits and things to try and prove lando is problematic, maybe focus on things that are already proven problematic, like christian horner, piquets, and the whole women in f1 thing. this is miniscule in relativity.

so many people in f1 would be “problematic” by these standards (lawrence stroll was on epstein’s list, for an example)

and i agree this is an issue, and that lando’s words were not the best, but i don’t think he can really be to blame, especially for being put in a position where he can’t say his true thoughts and the fact that politics came into it at all

anyways, feel free to chat about it normally with me. i’m not interested in flamewarring with y’all

#lando #lando norris #papayadays #f1 #ln4 #formula 1 #miami gp 2024 #miami 2024 #miami grand prix #mclaren #mclaren f1 #papaya speaks

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patrothestupid · 24 hours

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1. - [Drama - Legendary 14] Gather your wits and lie about the toy aisle's whereabouts. Buy yourself some time.

SKILL CHECK

SUCCESS

“Sir, the toy aisle is over there at that door, right next to the bathrooms.”

DRAMA - Hee hee hee! He doesn’t know that the door actually leads to the employee room! You’re a tricky little trickster, and you LOVE it.

MUGMART SHOPPER - Thank you, lad. It’s nice to see someone that isn’t afraid to talk to me, for once. He walks away, unaware of your devious deception.

INTERFACING - Now, to find your prize. The beyblade box stands tall on the shelf, but not tall enough for you to reach it and rip the box to shreds.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Success] - Beyblade (ベイブレード, Beiburēdo, diminutive Bey, from the diminutive of beigoma) is a line of spinning-top toys originally developed by Takara, first released in Japan in July 1999, along with a related manga series. This beyblade in particular, the Beyblade X BX-00 Booster Dranzer Spiral 3-80T, is one of the rare blades from the original anime, aptly named “Beyblade” as well as the two sequel series, Beyblade: V-Force and Beyblade: G-Revolution, and the 2002 film Beyblade: The Movie - Fierce Battle.

INTERFACING - You can feel each crevice and corner on the beyblade. The texture seeps into your senses. It’s beautiful.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Of course, it’s perfect. Perfect for throwing at people.

INTERFACING - And also for spinning. Yes. For spinning.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Hard: Success] - Take it.

LOGIC - What?

SAVOIR FAIRE - Take it. For free. Steal it. Come and go with your blade in tow. No one will look. No one will know. Take the blade and go.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Godly - Failure] - The store is like what, 100,000 million square feet? There’s probably only like what, 3 people near you? No one will see shit.

1. - [Savoir Faire - Medium 10] Run away with your prize, you slippery little weasel!

2. - I am a normal, law abiding citizen. I am so fucking normal right now. (Put the blade back in the remnants of its box and pay for it.)

3. - [Physical Instrument- Formidable 13] Chuck the blade at someone. Show the world how powerful you really are.

(wonder how did I succeeded the check but) I choose 1 ! (again) I rolled 9

#answered #anon message #ttrpg real

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how-very-salty · 1 day

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Guys, please stop asking me about chansaw. It's already getting uncomfortable when half the ask is filled with these questions. I understand that a lot of people like this ship, but please be understanding of my feelings about it 🖤

I don't love that ship, I draw and write only jdonica for 2+ years and can't imagine these two with anyone else. They are my comfort pair that have kept my mental state in some kind of normal~

Even though I genuinely think Chandler is a very charismatic bitch, I have no interest in her. Well, except as a minor character in fanfics to add a little drama.

No offense, but I really tired of question about chansaw.

#heathers

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maplesyrupbloodfeud · 2 days

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Genuinely enjoying Everyone’s In LA. 80s + 00s Adult Swim vibes. Absolutely adore how they made a point to say ‘murder is bad’ for the neopuritans out there while showing how ridiculous having to do so is in reality. Laughed probably too hard at John saying, “structure is important for me.”

I think it’s a real step forward for Mulaney as an artist and comedian. His commentary and style are becoming more clear and pointed without losing the charm and honesty he laid the groundwork for in his last special. My main criticism of that special was that it wasn’t the set he could make, but the set he had to make. Now, he’s reaping the rewards.

Back to the show at hand:

The live format and callback to late night hosts of old add an authenticity that i think Americans are hungry for. It very much reads as (mostly) unscripted where sometimes jokes don’t hit very well and sometimes technology fails. Also, the guests are obviously free to say whatever so there are some slightly uncomfortable moments that John does an excellent job pivoting from. But I think all of that’s a good thing. The American audience is so used to seeing media that feels made in a lab with all of the research boiled down to exactly what most people will spend money on. Failing something on live tv in an obviously unplanned scenario feels human in a way AI and the current MCU could never obtain.

What’s most impressive is that Mulaney and those involved with the production (including guests!) have somehow figured out the formula of what we’ve missed about earlier media while also being modern, relevant, and actually funny. All without seeming like any board of directors or agent is micromanaging the content.

Only the first episode is out but, based on it, I very much recommend watching the rest. “Something someone just out of rehab would make” indeed (complement).

Note: I say all this as someone who’s been in similar positions with the mental health system as Mulaney, is now becoming a therapist, and understands how fucking hard it is to “get better”. Also, I don’t keep up with celeb drama. I got enough shit to worry about. This is about THE ART (/hot iron giant guy) … also it’s about how I had been in a mental health/rehab facility before Mulaney went public on his own struggles and had never seen a popular celebrity talk about life events similar to mine. So I paid more attention to this than I normally would.

#everybody’s in la #john mulaney #review #tv review #this hasn’t been edited at all :///

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bookwyrminspiration · 1 day

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quil fee free to answer this in private i'm just curious but what the FUCK is going on in the kotlc fandom because i'm looking through the tags and either i've blocked exactly the right ppl or it's all a lot of wind for nothing?? i'm confused and nosy

Ah yeah, looking through the tag isn't a great sample of what I was commenting on, because it's more an ongoing thing the past few months.

Essentially, keepblr has gotten a recent influx of people, which as always, means an adjustment period. This one is just taking its sweet time to work out, which is going a little rougher because some keefe/fitz and love triangle drama has started to seep into the fandom along with it. it's exacerbated in part by confession blogs and unraveled's existence

There's just been consistent things popping up like clockwork every time it feels like we get past another. There's ongoing keefe/fitz arguments, sokeefe/sophitz arguments, keefe taking over the narrative, some spamming, disagreement about ship names (which is quite ridiculous in my opinion. so much so im not even gonna bother anymore), a few convos about race here and there, etc.

Just an overall trend towards negativity that's been going on for a while. And at first its like yeah, bumps in the road, it happens. but it's been long enough i'm a little like. are we seriously still on this. we are NOT letting this be our new normal this SUCKS. you know?

#kotlc #kotlc discourse #quil's queries #creetchure #and yes I know i can always block and move on curate my own experience. which I do #i just personally like to try and work things out if possible #i am willing choosing to put my time and energy into this fandom and into trying to smooth things over as much as I can #that doesn't mean i can't also be frustrated with it #(not saying you would say that that's just an argument i've heard from people before (not in this fandom in the world at large))#anyway. hope that answers your question :)#its not one specific thing its an ongoing multiple things

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agendratum · 1 month

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till the end of the moon as text posts (5/?)

#till the end of the moon #tteotm #chang yue jin ming #长月烬明 #cdramaedit #tusermona #tuserashinlae #yilinglaozu #tantai jin #ye xiwu #tteotmmemes #mt #gifs #happy anniversary!!#to these normal people and their normal drama #please watch tteotm

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inkskinned · 1 year

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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.