#to talk to Alan / bring up things he KNOWS Alan will respond to . . . but inside he hates this situation
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Flinch
MAIN MASTERLIST
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2,225ish
Summary: You are hiding an abusive relationship from the team.
Warning: abusive relationship (not explicit)
You weren’t an Avenger, but you did work at the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York. You were one of the doctors there. To be honest, you were the Team’s favorite doctor. And that meant that you often spent many late nights at the compound instead of going home to your boyfriend. You treated their training and mission injuries, and even their lab and roughhousing injuries. One time, Tony had even called you to his lab because of a paper cut.
You quickly formed a tight bond with the whole team. Especially those who frequented the med-bay. Bucky, Sam, and Steve were the most reckless of the team, everyone knew that. You more than anyone. And it wasn’t long before the four of you were almost inseparable. Almost, meaning when they weren’t on missions and you weren’t with your boyfriend.
You and your boyfriend, Alan, had been together for four years. Living together for three. He was there cheering you on when you graduated and there to celebrate when you got a job with the Avengers. He was so happy for you. But that was almost a year and a half ago now, and things have changed. As you began to spend more and more time over at the compound, he became needier and needier, slowly turning manipulative and aggressive towards you.
He started beating you six months ago, after he watched Bucky bring you home from drinks with the team. Alan was furious, immediately thinking you were cheating on him with Bucky. You woke up naked in bed, alone. Bruises and marks littered your body. You stayed curled up in bed, not caring about being late to work, until Alan had gone to work himself.
Thankfully, you were a doctor. You patched yourself up, covered up the bruises and marks, and then went to work. At first, you were good at hiding it. But slowly, as the abuse continued, it started to wear you down. The light around you was slowly dimming, and the Team was noticing. Especially Bucky.
Bucky had been physically attracted to you ever since he met you. And the more he got to know you, the more he fell in love with every part of you. He know you were in a relationship, so he made sure he never crossed the line of best friend. Bucky had met your boyfriend a few times, never liking him once. There was just something about him.
Bucky was the first to notice you wearing more long sleeves than usual. He also noticed that you started wearing more makeup than usual and had started avoiding any form of physical touch. He was too scared to mention anything to you first, so he brought it up with the team. Turned out, he wasn’t the only one to notice the shift. They were all pretty sure it was your boyfriend. But when asked about your relationship, you always said good things.
It was a late night, and you were staying at the compound. Mostly because it was your turn to be on call, but also to avoid going home to Alan. You couldn’t sleep, too scared of what your dreams might show. So you were in the common room, sipping a drink while you were curled up in the couch. And that’s where Bucky found you when he came out for a drink.
“Why are you up?” Bucky asked. You jumped, actually scared. “I’m sorry, I should have made myself known.”
“No, it’s okay, Buck,” you responded, clearly still trying to calm yourself. “I just couldn’t sleep. You?”
“Same.” He plopped down at the other end of the couch. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Nothing to talk about.” You gave him a small smile.
“Hm… okay. Wanna watch something?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to head to bed.” You started to head away. “Goodnight—“
“Wait, Y/N.” Bucky’s metal hand reached out to stop you. The swift moment made you flinch away from his touch. Bucky was confused. “Y/N… did you just flinch?” When he met your gaze, your eyes were wide and terrified. He could practically hear your heart beating out of your chest. Slowly, he stood up, hands up to show no harm. “Maybe we should sit down and talk about what’s going on.”
“I… I can’t.”
You shook your head, rushing away. Bucky quickly stepped in front of you, causing you to start to tremble and step back. Seeing you so frightened, made Bucky’s heart break. He didn’t know the truth, but he had a good guess at who had caused this.
“Y/N, please just tell me what’s going on. The whole team as noticed something. We would like to help.”
“You can’t,” you rasped. Your shoulders were hunched in like you were trying to curling in on yourself. You were now refusing to look at Bucky, taking a few steps back. “Besides, it’s none of your business.”
“It is if someone’s hurting you… if he’s hurting you. Please Y/N.” He started moving slowly forward. “Just let me help you.”
You moved back again. “Bucky, please just drop it. I’m fine.”
He continued forward. “I’m not going to let this go until I find out the truth. I need to know if Alan is hurting you, Y/N. I’ll get the team on it and you know we’ll find out no matter what.”
Your eyes were slowly filling with tears as you continued to step backwards. Eventually you were stopped by the wall. Bucky continued until he was just inches away from you. It was killing him to see you pressed up against the wall, trying to get away from him.
“Please, doll,” Bucky whispered. “What is he doing to you?”
You let out a whimper before sliding down the wall. “I’m so sorry,” you cried. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”
Bucky quickly knelt in front of you. “What are you sorry about, doll?”
“That I didn’t tell anyone. That I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry that I let him do this to me.”
“Woah, hey now. You did not let him do anything. Whatever he did to you was not your fault. None of it.” He reached out and gently took a hold of your hand, as he did your sleeve rode up a little. Giving him a glimpse of a bruise. “Y/N, I’m taking you down to the med-bay.”
“No! Please! I don’t want any of my colleagues to know.”
“You need to be treated.”
“I’ve been treating myself.”
“You still need to be checked out.”
“Take me to Tony’s lab… I’ll let Bruce check me over… I don’t know want all of them staring at me.”
Bucky nodded. “Okay.”
He led you to the lab, where he helped you get comfortable before going to get Steve, Bruce, Natasha, and Tony. What he didn’t realize was leaving you there alone would be a terrible idea. The second you knew the coast was clear, you left the lab and ran to your car. You couldn’t face your friends, knowing what had happened to you. What you believed you had let happened to you. You needed to get home before they found you or Alan got more mad than he was already, since he had been texting you and leaving voicemails all night.
Bucky explained the situation on their way back to the lab, the others getting angrier and angrier with eat step. They were furious at Alan but also angry at themselves for not stepping in sooner. All walking into the lab, they looked around.
“Where is she?” Steve asked.
“Dr. Y/N as left,” FRIDAY announced.
“She was embarrassed,” Natasha responded. “She was embarrassed that we would all know. So she… oh, no.”
“Oh, no, what Red?” Tony questioned.
“She went home.”
“What?!” A few of them exclaimed.
“How could see just go home?” Bucky asked.
“Those who are being abused often are told that no one else will understand, and they begin to believe it,” Bruce replied. “This is why many people take years to get out of an abusive relationship.”
“We need to go get her before anything else happens.”
~~~
Getting beaten at home was not where you wanted to be. But, to your confused and broken down mind, it was better than telling everyone and being embarrassed. Alan was furious when you got home, to no surprise. He immediately began yelling and taking it out on you. And you let him. Because you deserved it.
You were bleeding and broken, laid out on the couch, when the door was blasted off its hinges. Alan turned around as you heard the familiar sounds of the Iron Man suit and feet enter the room.
“What the hell are you all doing in my house?!” Alan yelled. “You have no right—“ He was cut off my a metal hand to his jaw. He fell to the floor cupping his jaw.
“No. It’s you who have no right to treat anyone in this way,” Bucky growled.
Steve and Tony grabbed Alan as Bucky turned his attention on you. You were shaking on the couch, tears cascading down your face. He could see old and new bruises as well as scrapes and cuts littered along the skin he could see. He quickly came to your side. You flinched as his arms went under you and he lifted you, but you didn’t fight it. He pressed a kiss to your hair as he carried you out to the van that they’d brought.
The police were pulling up when you got outside. They let Bucky set you down before getting a statement. Trembling and gripping tightly to Bucky’s hand, you told the police about everything Alan had done to you. Bucky had to try so hard to not growl or march back in and kill Alan. He knew he needed to stay calm and levelheaded for you.
After the police had asked all their questions and taken Alan into custody, they took you back to the compound for a check up. You were still shaking slightly as Bucky laid you down on a bed in a private med-bay room. Bruce and the nurses were getting everything ready for tests and exams that would need to be done. Bucky went to wait out in the hall when you reached out and clutched onto his arm, digging your finger nails into the flesh.
“Don’t—“ you croaked. “Don’t leave. Please.”
“Never, doll.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right here.”
~~~
“She has a few broken ribs, most from previous incidents that she never got treated,” Bruce stated. The team was all outside your med-bay room, getting all the information from Bruce as you slept inside with Bucky watching over you. “We’ve cleaned and bandaged any cuts as well as put some ointment on her to help the bruises.”
“Has she said anything?” Sam asked, worried.
Bruce shook his head. “Not since asking Bucky to stay. But that’s okay and expected. We all need to be patient with her as it will take time for her to heal.”
“I’ve already got her off of work for at least a month,” Tony said. “The movers are on their way with her things and her room here is being cleaned as we speak. She’s family, so she’s welcome to stay as long as she wants.”
“How’s Bucky doing?” Natasha asked.
“He won’t leave her side,” Steve answered. “I’ve brought him food and clothes, but he’s so worried about her.” Steve sighed. “I hope he doesn’t take this all and blame himself for it.”
“Oh, he will,” Tony replied. “I already have, so I know he will.”
“We couldn’t have stopped this,” Sam said.
“But we could have said something sooner. We all noticed she was off. We could have done something about it sooner.”
“We need to focus on Y/N,” Bruce said. “Not our guilt. I’ll keep you updating if anything else happens, but for now we need to let her rest and you all need to stop waiting out here.”
~~~
“Bucky…” you whispered as the man slept in the chair beside you. “Bucky.”
He snapped up, on alert. “What? What is it? Are you okay?”
You let out a small giggle. “You just looked uncomfortable. Why don’t you go to your room to get some rest? I think I’ll be fine.”
“First,” Bucky leaved forward, “that wasn’t convincing at all. Second, you asked me to stay, so I’m staying.”
“Why?” You croaked, tears welling up.
“Because, doll, I care about you, a great deal. And I don’t like seeing you hurt. So I’m going to be by your side every step of the way and do whatever I can to help you heal.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“I’m sorry to break it to you, doll, but if anyone doesn’t deserve kindness, it’s me.” He gently grabbed your hand, bringing it up for a kiss. “You deserve the world, Y/N. And I’m going to try and give it to you when you’re ready. Only when you’re ready though. I don’t care how long it takes as long as you’re doing better.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“And that’s okay. You decide where to start and the pace, and I’ll follow.”
“Thank you, Bucky, for saving me.”
“Anytime, doll.”
#bucky barnes x reader#the avengers x reader#avengers x reader#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes imagine#marvel imagine#marvel imagines
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“ there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe” yakko dot Wakko
“What do you mean we can’t stay here anymore Yakko?” Wakko asked his older brother. Yakko sighed heavily. Wakko was six years old now, and Yakko had originally hoped that meant he’d be able to get a grip on things and make his life easier, but his hopes were in vain.
“I mean the orphanage is being shut down by King Salazar, so we have to go somewhere else,” Yakko rubbed his forehead as he folded blankets and put them into bags.
“Why? He isn’t really king, dadoo was,” Wakko frowned, and Yakko shot him a look.
“Wakko- how many times have I told you not to say things like that,” He said in a harsh whisper. Wakko lowered his head and muttered an apology. Yakko sighed. “King William and Queen Angelina the Second died two years ago, and King Salazar took his place.”
“Why does he want to shut down an orphanage? Doesn’t he have important things to do?” He asked.
“You’d think that, wouldn’t you?” Yakko scoffed. He looked at his younger siblings and sighed again.
“King Salazar isn’t a good man. He’s very greedy, and wants to put up a different shop here because he doesn’t want to fund the orphanage anymore,” Yakko explained.
“But we don’t have anywhere else to go, doesn’t he know that?” Wakko huffed and crossed his arms. Yakko tried to think of a response as his eyes went to Dot, who was running around chasing a butterfly that had gotten inside somehow.
“I know that Wak... but there isn’t anything we can do,” He shrugged and continued packing.
“There has to be something,” Wakko kicked the ground and thought.
“Wakko, there just... isn’t. Not everything can be stopped,” Yakko touched his younger brother’s shoulder. Wakko didn’t respond, looking at the ground intensely as he thought.
“C’mon Wak, we have to go,” Yakko said, tying up the blankets and what little clothes they had into one blanket that he slung around his shoulder. He called to Dot, and she ran on over, beaming up to him with the confidence and joyfulness that only a naive two-year-old could possess.
“Wak.” Yakko said, becoming impatient. Wakko sighed and kicked the ground, muttering, but Yakko didn’t particularly care, and the warners left the now empty orphanage.
“Where we go?” Dot asked her eldest brother.
“Somewhere else, but not too far, Acme Falls is home,” Yakko said, bluffing his confidence. At least he knew some of it was true; no matter what, he was never going to leave Acme Falls. His mom told him to stay there, that was where he was going to stay. He couldn’t risk him and his sibs getting recognized, he couldn’t afford to lose them too...
“I want to go back,” Wakko huffed again. Yakko groaned internally, getting very tired of the wave of moodiness that had overcome his brother.
“We can’t go back Wak, I just explained that to you,” He stated, avoiding looking at a few of the townsfolk who were shooting them looks of pity.
“I want to go home,” Wakko stomped. Yakko stepped back.
“Wakko, we don’t have a home. We don’t have anywhere to go,” Yakko said for what felt like the millionth time in two years.
“Why can’t we go back and fight for our home?!” Wakko shouted, angrier than before. Yakko’s eyes widened, and he quickly scanned to see who was watching before he pulled his brother by the collar of his shirt into an ally, and Dot followed closely behind.
“Wakko, where on earth are you getting these ideas?” Yakko harshly whispered.
“Those stupid stories you tell Dot-”
“Hey!” Dot protested but was ignored.
“-talk about brave princes who fight evil. Why can’t we? King Saladbar-”
“King Salazar is a grown-up, and very, very powerful. We couldn’t fight him if we tried.” Yakko put his foot down.
“C’mon, in Dot’s stories it’s always the little guy. We could fight him,” Wakko said proudly
“Yeah!” Dot agreed with his enthusiasm, not really grasping what he was saying.
“Not ‘yeah’ Dot, that’s a very dumb idea,” He told her.
“You said good people always fight for what's right and to protect what they love,” Wakko scowled.
“Of course they do Wakko, it’s just-”
“Then why don’t we fight?!” Wakko seemed outraged now and Yakko really, really hoped no one was listening in to any of this.
“Because you’re just a kid Wakko. You can’t fight,” Yakko said.
“Not true- I fight Dot and I win,” Wakko crossed his arms.
“She’s two, she doesn’t count,” Yakko rolled his eyes. “And besides, I am protecting you two.”
“Faboo job so far,” Wakko muttered under his breath, but Yakko heard it clear as day.
“Watch your tone Wakko or so help me-”
“Or what? You aren’t Mum or Dad,” Wakko stomped, which made Dot jump and scurry behind Yakko.
“Wakkorotti Alan Warner so help me-” Yakko felt his temperature rise with anger, but he swallowed it best as possible, bringing his fist to his mouth and attempting to take calming breaths.
“Look, I know you’re confused. I’m sorry that the orphanage closed, there’s nothing we can do about it,” He said, looking down when he saw Dot hold his hand. “Just... know that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you- either of you safe, okay? I love you guys more than anything,” Yakko said.
“If you’d do anything to protect us, then why won’t you fight Salazar, huh??? Why did you let him take away our home???”
“Why did you let Mum and Dad die?!”
Wakko’s words felt like a giant bat hit him right in the chest and left him feeling utterly speechless. He looked at Wakko and saw that tears were streaming down his face, and he covered his mouth with his hands. Yakko couldn’t look at him, and he turned around to face the back of the alley.
“Yakko?” Dot asked quietly. She was likely confused from all of the shouting, but Yakko didn’t have it in him to comfort her. He was done.
He could still see his mother in his mind, all bruised and bloodied. He remembered what her soft velvet gloves felt like against his cheek, her soft and tender kisses on his forehead, and he could still hear her cries of agony right before the gunshot that silenced her.
Guilt had wracked his mind ever since that night. At first, he hadn’t been able to sleep, he stayed up for weeks at a time, before exhaustion got to him and he was forced to sleep. He was slowly able to regain control of his guilt, with the help of the local doctor, but it still rested in the back of his mind, like a sleeping dragon.
A dragon that Wakko had just woken up.
“Y-yakko I’m sorry- I-i didn’t mean it,” Wakko was quick to apologize, but Yakko couldn’t look back at him.
He hadn’t gotten to say goodbye to his dad, but he had seen his mother. He could’ve done something, but he froze, he froze, like some idiot and he had gotten caught, and because they saw him they killed her.
It was his fault. He froze, and because of that his mother was killed.
“Y-yakko please, I’m s-so s-so sorry. I didn’t mean it- You did what you could,” Wakko was practically sobbing at his point. Yakko glanced back at him, and that confirmed his suspicion. Wakko took his glance back as an invitation to hug him, and soon Yakko was almost crushed by the strong embrace of his little brother and little sister. Yakko swallowed painfully as he felt a sob of his own get caught in his throat.
“I’m so so so s-so sor-sorry Ya-Yakko, I-i love you,” Wakko squeezed tighter. “
“I-i-” Yakko started, but he couldn’t speak. He knew his siblings didn’t understand, how could they? They were trying their darndest to comfort him, but they didn’t understand. Whether or not Wakko meant it wasn’t relevant, he was right, and the weight of that fact would rest on Yakko’s shoulders for the rest of time. Yakko began to cry.
“You're the best big brother I would ever wish for! I didn’t mean any of that! You love us a whole lot a-and we love you too, right Dot?” Wakko sniffled and looked to his two-year-old sister, who nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah! Dot loves Yakko!” She said. Yakko couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that. Dot’s way of speaking did that to him.
“Yeah! A-and I love you too! You’re the best big brother and a good prince and a good protector,” Wakko let go of him only to wipe his tears off of his own face. Yakko did the same and took in a deep breath.
“I love you two too,” Yakko said shakily. Wakko bit his lip.
“I didn’t mean it really- It’s Saladbar’s fault, not yours. He’s evil and mean and he decided to attack our home. It isn’t your fault mum and dad gone, I was being stupid,” Wakko said. Yakko nodded slowly, doing his best to take in the words. They almost sounded to elegant to be Wakko’s, but Wakko had a knack for expressing his emotions, something even he, the quote-on-quote “talkative” sibling, struggled with.
“Thank you Wak... just... don’t ever say anything like that again, okay?” Yakko asked him. Wakko nodded his head a thousand and one times.
“I promise, Yakko. I didn’t mean it. Saladbar is the one to blame, I hate him,” Wakko stated affirmatively. Yakko couldn’t help but snicker had his mispronunciation of Salazar, which made Wakko happier.
“While I usually don’t condone hatred... I’ll let it slide this one time. We can hate Salazar,” He said. Dot and Wakko beamed.
“Good, because I really, really hate him,” He said.
“Yeah! Dot hates Saladbar!” Dot shouted, raising a tiny fist in the air and giggling.
“Good,” Yakko smiled at her and took her hand. “I’m glad we all can agree on that.” He went to pick up the bag of their stuff, but Wakko took it instead, and held his brother’s other hand.
“Now, let’s go find us some shelter. There’s got to be something around here somewhere...” Yakko said, and together the little family walked out of the alleyway and began to look for somewhere where they would start the next chapter of their lives, secure in the knowledge that while they couldn’t change the past they did have each other, and that’s all that mattered.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
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Tie Me to the Moon
Installment 4 (of 5) in my Whump Wheel spinning experiment. This spin was for John and gave me Cuddling For Comfort and Cemetery.
It is another Young Tracys fic, but it requires some WARNINGS as it deals with grief/mourning, funerals and of course a cemetery.
I'm also tagging for social anxiety, sensory overload and panic attack, although I'm not entirely sure exactly what I'm putting John through.
If there's any additional warning or tag I need please let me know (or if these ones don't hit the mark).
Possibly more angst than whump.
The day started early. Scott had spoken with John and Virgil the night before about how much he was relying on them both to help get Alan and Gordon ready, since Grandma and Dad would both have a lot on their plate. So, John had set the alarm for 6am to give them time to wake themselves up before tackling the tinies.
By 9am all five boys were awake and fed and dressed in their Sunday best, shoes shined and hair combed awaiting final inspection before the cars arrived to take them to the church. Normally it would have been Dad who inspected the troops before such an important occasion but, like many other things over the last week or so, today the job was taken on by Scott. He left no stray hair or speck of lint unscrutinised, while their father was barely able to do more than glance at his boys and give Scott a pat on the shoulder as he passed on his way out the front door.
Scott decided it would be best if he went in the lead car with Dad. It was the one that had been fitted with the kiddie seats for Gordon and Alan, and Scott could sit between them and keep them settled. That left John and Virgil to ride in the second car with Grandma. The car trip was mostly silent, but Grandma told them they both looked very smart and did her best to smile despite clear indications she was holding back more tears.
As they neared the church it was impossible not to notice the large number of parked vehicles, some still offloading passengers. John let out a large sigh as their car pulled up in front of the chapel. The soft murmurings and general bustle of the gathering crowd penetrated their insulated little bubble even before the driver opened the door to let Grandma out. Virgil waited until he’d caught John’s eye and received a nod before opening his door so both boys could exit on the same side of the car.
The kindly young driver from the funeral home seemed to be keeping most of the well-meaning mourners at bay as the family gathered and were solemnly led into the church and ushered to the front pew. John tried to focus on the flowers, the quiet organ music, the soft glow of sunlight filtering through stained glass rather than the coffins or even the photos of Mom and Grandpa, and definitely not the endless stream of people filling the rows of seats behind them. It was a slightly tight fit getting all seven of them in the one pew, even with Alan on Dad’s (and later Scott’s) lap, but John was glad of the warm press of Virgil on his left and Gordon on his right.
The service was a simple, no-frills affair with the Minister officiating, but friends and family doing most of the talking. John listened through Dad and Grandma retelling stories he’d heard before, but there were little details revealed that he had never known. The anecdotes shared by the others who stepped up to the pulpit microphone – one of Grandpa’s farming neighbours, and an old friend of Mom’s from school – almost felt like stories about other people. It didn’t feel like they were talking about the people John had lost.
For John losing Grandpa was like a constellation of stars going missing from the night sky. It was Grandpa that had told him people are all made of the same stuff as the stars. He had been a quiet, watchful presence in his life, providing light and joy whenever he looked up and saw that twinkle in Grandpa’s eye. Like Ursa Major and Polaris, Grandpa was always there guiding him, giving direction when needed, but never wanting to overstep or overshadow his parents. Not the brightest light in his orbit, but an important, comforting presence that meant John always knew his place in the world.
Mom had been the sun at the centre of his life, his family, his everything. Without her all the light and warmth was gone from the world. Instead of a regular (though slightly wonky) orbit his world now felt like it was tumbling through space and gravity was constantly shifting. One moment he was too heavy to move and the next he was so light might be flung out into space. Night and day and seasons, years and everything he measured his life by had been connected to his Mom – waking him and tucking him into bed, making sure he dressed warm enough or wore sunscreen or had his raincoat, keeping track of birthdays and holidays and school excursion days were all her.
During the service no one spoke of Mom and Grandpa like that.
There was music. One of Mom’s favourite piano pieces. Virgil had wanted to be able to play it today, but hadn’t been able to bring himself to even sit at the piano, much less play at all since the accident. So a recording had been found and it was played as a backing track to the slideshow that flickered through image after image of happy memories telling part of two life stories.
There were prayers. Reassuring words from the minister about heaven and God’s love, and the love we should all share with each other. John wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about heaven, or God calling Mom and Grandpa home to his kingdom.
There was a poem read out by one of Mom’s work colleagues. It was something about not crying or being sad because they were gone, but being happy because they had lived. Many of the people in the room were obviously ignoring the advice – his immediate family included. There were a good many wet handkerchiefs and tissues in hands, a great deal of suppressed sobs and eye rubbing, and a few sleeves swiped across cheeks before the service was over.
Scott and Dad were among the pall bearers who carried the coffins out of the church and onto the waiting machinery that would take care of their final movements. John and his brothers and Grandma were the first of the mourners to follow in the sombre procession. Only a small number of people were permitted to follow the hovering gurneys across the grass and through the little cemetery to the waiting square-sided pits. Just family and a few close friends to witness the way the machinery slowly and smoothly lowered each coffin down into the earth, hear the minister recite the final ritual words, and each place a flower or a sprinkling of dirt atop the coffins in a last goodbye.
The rest of the large crowd had been encouraged to make their way into the Sunday School hall where the wake was to take place. Refreshments had been generously laid out on the tables inside. More photographs of both lost loved ones were on display throughout the room, along with so many more flowers and a large number of cards. But many of the people in attendance that day were still milling about outside the church buildings when John and his family returned through the cemetery for the wake.
John’s feet dragged as he approached the gentle hubbub of mingling friendly faces with sympathetic expressions. He could pick out people he knew well if he let himself concentrate, but the sheer number of individuals he was heading towards was a little overwhelming. They didn’t make it inside the hall before the onslaught began. Almost everyone wanted to say something, speak of sympathy, tell a story, offer “any help you need.” So many wanted to reach out, hold a hand or squeeze an arm, some came in for full-on hugs, cheek kisses and loud, teary exclamations of how sad it all was.
John lost his Dad and Grandma to the throng faster than he thought possible, but before he could be swept up in it himself he was thrown a lifeline. There was a familiar presence by his side, a brush of hand against hand, or specifically pinky against pinky – a request and an offer. John grabbed hold of Virgil’s hand and held fast, tethering himself to his brother like an anchor.
He wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened or how long it had taken, but eventually they all made it inside the Sunday School hall. John was only aware of Virgil’s hand in his, the rest was a blur of faces, voices, bodies. Virgil dealt with anyone who stopped them to offer their personal condolences, listening to what they had to say and responding politely but managing to keep the interactions brief and shielding John from most of the attention. Somehow they made their way to a cluster of chairs where Grandma and Dad were seated, Alan in his father’s lap, still accepting condolences from well-wisher after well-wisher.
John was aware of sweat beading on his forehead as Virgil told him to take a seat next to Grandma for a bit, and then his brother disappeared into the crowd to go and fetch Grandma a cup of tea. He wiped sweaty palms on his trousers as he tried to look around the room. His eyes fell on Scott standing a few feet away, taking all the sympathetic social interactions in his stride, nodding, smiling, shaking hands, accepting embraces.
John’s mouth was dry and he wondered if he could make it across the room to grab a drink from the trestle table against the wall, but there was a sea of bodies he’d have to negotiate in between. For a moment his vision blurred and the vague images of people swam in a dizzying fashion before he could find something to focus on. Alan had obviously grown tired of the hair ruffling and cheek pinching and wriggled free of his Dad’s grasp, and was now trying to run through the small gaps between grown up pairs of legs. Gordon was keeping an eye on him – in between snaffling more cakes and cookies from the food table. John watched the terrible two until they were obscured by too many featureless figures.
Despite the late-winter-cool of the day, the church hall felt uncomfortably warm. The large space with its vaulted ceiling, tall, wide windows and polished wooden floorboards felt dark and gloomy and so very crowded. And the non-stop undercurrent of murmuring voices appeared to build in an unbearable crescendo John could not shut out. Too many bodies, too many voices, too much, too close . . . he needed space, he needed air, he had to get out!
Virgil saw his brother get up and hurry a little unsteadily to the exit as he came back with Grandma’s tea. He tried to keep an eye on the red-head so he could follow, but he had to excuse himself to Grandma and Dad, make his way over to Scott, politely interrupt the conversation and whisper in his big brother’s ear.
“John’s bolted. I’m going after him.”
Scott acknowledged with a nod as his eyes darted to the door, already closed again after John’s escape. Virgil wasted no more time in following, but once outside it took him a moment to figure out which direction John had taken.
John had no particular destination in mind, he just needed to get away. His feet carried him across the gravel driveway and through the grass without him registering the change of surface. He ran through the little cemetery without seeing the tombstones he passed, slowing only when he approached the boundary marked with a low stone wall before a neat, tall hedge. Unable to go any farther he turned and wobbled dizzily. His vision narrowed leaving dull blurred impressions of light and shadow. He heard nothing but the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, and he sank down to the ground, sitting heavily, knees bent and pulled up towards his chest. He scrunched his eyes tightly closed and slammed his hands over his ears, trying to block it all out.
Virgil approached slowly, but without trying to hide the sound of his footsteps. He lowered himself to sit facing John, resisting the strong urge to reach out and touch him. Seeing his brother in such distress clawed at his heart. He couldn’t let him struggle through this alone.
“John?” He kept his voice quiet and hoped he could be heard despite the hands staying firmly pressed against ears. “I’m here with you. Just me. No one else is around.”
There was no noticeable response.
“If you can hear me, I need you to try and slow your breathing down a bit, John. Deep breath in,“ and Virgil inhaled, “and out nice and slow.” Virgil waited for a second, watching John’s shallow, ragged breathing for any change. “In,” another inhaled breath, “and out.”
As Virgil continued repeating the instruction like a mantra John’s breathing gradually began to even out into slower, deeper, more controlled breaths. He wasn’t sure, but he thought John’s vice-like grip over his ears might be relaxing a little too.
“You’re doing great, John. Keep focusing on your breathing. Keep listening.
Hear the breeze whispering through the leaves?
Did you hear those birds?”
John did hear the cry of a bird overhead, and an answering call a little farther away as his hands drifted away from his head. As he lowered them to limply rest on the ground beside him he heard a gentle gust of wind rustle the hedges, and he registered that it did indeed sound a bit like a whisper.
“The sun’s broken free of the clouds. Can you feel it on your face, John?
Can you feel the wind in your hair?
You do realise there’s dirt and leaves beneath your fingertips, right?”
John turned his focus where his brother’s voice directed it, feeling the warmth on the left side of his face, and the breeze toying with his hair. There was indeed leaf litter and slightly damp dirt beneath his flexing fingers.
“If you’re ready to open your eyes you’ll see the moon’s out. I like the way the moon looks in the day. Against the blue of the sky the shadows make it look almost see-through.”
Translucent. That would have been a better word for what Virgil was trying to say. The thought flitted through John’s mind as he let his eyes drift open and scan the sky until they latched onto the gibbous moon framed by scattered cumulous clouds. He was also aware there was irony in the way his brother was effectively using the moon to anchor him, to bring him back to earth and ground him in the here and now.
Virgil had stopped talking, leaving the wind and occasional twitters and cries of the birds to fill the silence as John watched the clouds dance around the moon. He could feel his brother’s eyes on him almost as tangibly as he could feel the damp earth he was sitting on and the cool stone of the wall at his back. Now feeling much calmer he took a deep breath and brought his gaze down from the sky to meet the concern and compassion contained in those warm, brown eyes.
“Welcome back.” A hint of a smile played across Virgil’s face as he spoke.
A quiet moment stretched between them. No words spoken, but information passing from brother to brother through eye contact alone.
Content that John was no longer caught in a spiral he couldn’t escape on his own, Virgil glanced over his shoulder towards the Sunday School hall.
“I should go back, but you can stay here if you want. I’ll come and find you when it’s time to go. Just don’t wander off or anything.”
John didn’t speak as he chanced his own glance back toward the ongoing wake. Then, as Virgil made a move to get up and leave, John reached out and grabbed his wrist.
“Stay. Please?”
Virgil stopped and stared first at the fingers digging into his wrist, then into pleading, desperate aquamarine. He simply nodded and adjusted his position so he was sitting next to John, their shoulders touching. John loosened his grip on Virgil’s wrist but didn’t let go, so John’s arm looped around his knees and Virgil’s arm crossed his body to keep the connection. There was an almost imperceptible hesitation, but then simultaneously John leaned in towards his brother and Virgil wrapped his arm around John, pulling them into a secure embrace.
John finally let go of Virgil’s wrist, bringing his arm in close, grabbing a fistful of Virgil’s suit jacket and snuggling closer into his brother’s chest. This enabled Virgil to employ both arms in the hug. John rarely cuddled up like this with anyone, but all the times he could remember doing so were with Mom. His next intake of breath hitched at the realisation, and Virgil held a little tighter. The threat of tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he was grateful that, while not the same as a cuddle from Mom, he was still able to find this level of safety and comfort in the arms of someone who loved him.
“I want her back,” he sobbed, letting the tears flow and drip onto Virgil’s jacket.
“Yeah. Me too.”
John heard the tears in Virgil’s voice, but he already knew his brother felt the same absence in their hug.
Neither boy could say how long they stayed out there, huddled together, holding tight while hot tears streaked their cheeks. Time may as well have stood still for all it mattered. Nothing else was important, just the feeling that this moment, however sad, was there’s alone to share until Scott came and found them to tell them it was time to go home.
#john tracy#virgil tracy#grief/mourning#social anxiety#sensory overload#panick attack#funeral#angst#cemetery#thunderbirds fanfiction#thunderbirds fandom#thunderbirds
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Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 11 - De Orfeo Records
Summary: Sunset Cure AU, Willex, is there a chance?, 2.8k
@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends
WARNINGS: death mention
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
Reggie and Carlos were running around in the middle of taking down equipment after their latest gig. Luke shook his head as he wrapped cords over his arm and placed them in a storage box. Alex, however, was nervously trying not to get run into as he carried various pieces of his drum set out and handed them to Bobby in the back of the van. He could forgive Reggie not really helping out since he was taking responsibility for the kid, but also hadn’t anticipated that their energies combined would put him more on edge.
As he went inside to grab the last piece of his set, he found that Reggie had taken his flannel and tied it around his neck like a cape, with Carlos wearing his leather jacket in a similar fashion. They approached Bobby, who immediately joined their game and they pretended to battle each other. By the time Alex had finished getting his whole set in the van, they were playing out a dramatic victory over defeating Bobby.
“Guys, this is great, but we really should finish packing up,” Alex said, although he was smiling from the entertainment.
“I guess you’re the next bad guy we fight,” Carlos said in a mock-deep voice.
“We can schedule it later, Robin,” Alex teased.
“Oh, no, he’s Batman,” Reggie corrected. “I’m Robin!” He put his fists on his hips in a proud superhero pose.
A big SHHHHHH came from Luke and they all looked over at him to see what was up. He was far off by the venue office, holding a phone to his ear and writing onto a notepad. His eyes were wide with excitement, and his energy was only held back by the other hand tapping against the paper. The boys watched as his smile grew bigger and he said goodbye, barely putting the phone back in place properly.
“YEEESS!!” he cried, raising his fists into the air in celebration. They all came running toward him to see what had happened.
“Boys, we’ve got good news!” Luke told them. Looking on in anticipation, Alex gripped his fanny pack tightly. “One of the record execs that came tonight is offering for us to sign onto their label and put out some songs! He even heard our demo!”
Everyone celebrated, jumping up and down and high-fiving each other. Reggie let Carlos climb onto him in a piggyback and they both yelled triumphantly. Luke pulled Alex into a bro hug, then Bobby. Alex held his arms up and placed his hands on top of his head, unable to believe what had just happened. Euphoria filled his head like helium and he went to double-high-five Carlos, who was still perched on Reggie’s back.
“So what else did they say?” Bobby asked, still smiling.
Luke had to shake off some more excitement before he could explain the rest.
“Ahhh, so he said we could meet in a few days to discuss business and contracts and such, let us get a look at the studio and stuff. I got all his contact information and he’s totally excited to get us on. We’re moving on up boys!”
The celebration continued, and their renewed energy caused the rest of the take-down to go by much faster. They were still riding the high as they drove home. Alex listened to Luke talk about which songs they would want to record first and where they would land on the charts. He remembered that feeling he had back at the Pearl during their sound check. Doing that? For real and not just dreaming and hoping about it? They hadn’t made it just yet, but this was a change he could be excited for.
Reggie had been staying with Carlos, which the rest of the boys figured was a good excuse to not stay home. As Bobby pulled up to the house, he and Luke began climbing out of the van. Carlos and Reggie were already inside.
“Uh, guys?” Alex said, still in the back of the van. They all turned back to him. “What are you doing?”
“Oh,” Luke gestured like oh-silly-me. “We all decided to stay here for the night. It’s just a nice change from the garage and Julie’s aunt has lots of leftovers that need to be eaten so…”
“So...I’m grounded,” Alex reminded, raising his eyebrows. His parents hadn’t been happy about him sneaking out to the pier the other night.
“Screw your old man, Alex,” Bobby said.
“Yeah, he can eat my shorts if he tries to do anything about it,” Luke added.
Alex took a moment to think. Disobeying wasn’t going to do anything for or against him at this point - he kept anything truly important to him out of his parents’ reach and since he’d gotten the punching bag he could actually contend with their tempers. They couldn’t punish him in a way that mattered.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” he said finally, following them into the house.
They found Reggie and Carlos already raiding the kitchen.
“Alex, you’re staying too?” Reggie said when he saw them enter.
“Yes!” Carlos cried, pumping his fist. “You get to make popcorn. Tonight, the Empire Strikes Back!”
“Oh yeah, baby!” Reggie responded as the rest of the boys began following orders from Carlos. Alex wasn’t crazy about Star Wars, but eh….young Mark Hamill was hot so he didn’t mind too much. He was sure most of them would fall asleep during the movie anyway.
A couple hours later it turned out he was right. Carlos was slumped on the floor leaning back against the chair Luke was sitting in, hand still in the bowl of popcorn. Luke was leaning on his hand, breathing soundly. Alex had watched earlier as Bobby’s head flopped onto Reggie’s shoulder and the flustered look that had overcome Reggie’s face, and it was too good not to smile at. Once the VCR began automatically rewinding the movie, Alex shut off the TV.
He stared at the ceiling as he pulled the handle on the La-Z-Boy he was in and reclined into a somewhat comfortable position. Even now, weeks later after meeting for only a day, the first thing he wished he could do was tell Willie the news about the record label. He probably would have been just as ecstatic as the rest of them, if not more. Victoria would be back soon and hopefully have some news. He guessed it didn’t matter if he’d been right about the missing kid, but maybe just knowing if she got to talk with Willie would be enough.
The memory of soft brown eyes still rose in his mind. He’d been doing his best to keep that moment cemented in his brain because he’d noticed it helped him sleep. It was funny because he’d done the same thing with the guys, but staring into Willie’s eyes had been an entirely different experience. Alex wished he had the proper words to describe it, but the best he could do was marvel. Willie was clearly unaware of the strength he held, and it made Alex want to bring that out with his entire being. If he ever did get the chance, that would be something worth looking forward to.
Victoria didn’t arrive until the afternoon the next day. Since Alex felt that she had gone because of him, he made everyone else clean her house as well as they could. No traces of food on the floor, no messy beds, and the kitchen was cleaner than when they had found it. As she came back into the house, she put a hand over her heart.
“Wow!” she exclaimed. “I should take trips like this more often if you boys are this good!”
“Yes, tía, please, please, please let them babysit me again! Pleeeeaaassee!” Carlos begged with his hands pressed together.
“Ay, sobrino, no me quieres?” she shook her head.
“No, I do!” Carlos tried to recover. “But they’re fun!”
As if to make a point, Reggie rubbed a hand on Carlos’ head.
“It’s okay little dude, we’ll be back.”
Victoria pulled her wallet out of her purse.
“Well, you boys took very good care of him and I promised I would pay you, so here you go.” She handed each of them a generous amount of cash. Luke, Reggie and Bobby all whooped as they thanked her and headed to the van. Alex held back with anticipation. Victoria looked at him seriously.
“There was no connection,” she told him before he asked. “His guardian explained everything to me, and there was nothing else to go on. I wanted to know because I thought I could solve an old case, but I had to let it go.”
“Well, did you get to talk to him?” Alex tried not to sound too urgent.
“You mean Willie? No, I never saw him. After talking with his guardian I didn’t need to.”
Bowing his head, Alex made himself swallow his other questions. She had at least tried.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sorry if it was inconvenient.”
“I chose to go, don’t worry about it,” she assured.
Nodding and saying thanks one more time, Alex hurried out after the rest of his friends.
A few days later, the boys slammed the doors of the van shut as they looked up at the building before them. It was so plain and simple on the outside; they never would’ve guessed there was a studio there. It was likely they had driven past it many times on the way to a gig. Pushing through the door, they all looked at the logo in neon lights on the wall: De Orfeo Records.
Collectively, the boys took in awed breaths at the reality of where they were standing. This was too good to believe. Alex took in the scene, trying to imagine this being a place he came to regularly. Could he ever get used to it, or get over the sheer excitement of just being there? Luke patted him on the back, desperately trying to contain himself. They wandered through the halls a little bit until they came to a room where the door was sitting open.
“Oh, boys!” A man called as they almost walked past it. “In here!”
As they all shuffled in, the man shook their hands and pointed them to a couch where they could sit. Alex nervously stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he took a seat. The man across from them was dressed surprisingly casually, if not with obvious expensive taste. He still had sunglasses on, but their yellow tint was clearly not for actual UV protection.
“Nice to meet all of you,” he was saying. “My name is Alan, I’m one of the producers here at De Orfeo. Which one of you did I talk to on the phone?”
Luke raised his hand.
“That was me,” he said, already gushing with excitement. “How’d you hear about us, anyway?”
Alan didn’t answer, but instead looked up at the doorway as someone else came in.
“Hello boys!” Caleb Covington entered, his charismatic smile spread wide across his face. “So nice to see you again.”
Alex’s heart rate immediately sped up and he clenched his hands inside his pockets. How could it be? He thought his last chance to reach out to Willie was gone and seeing Caleb brought back everything he hadn’t been able to ask Julie’s aunt. All the guys were happy to recognize him.
“I won’t be staying for the negotiations,” Caleb said. “but I wanted to properly introduce myself as the owner of this label. I want to assure you boys the best experience as newcomers in the industry. Let any nerves that still linger walk right out the door.” His eyes landed on Alex for a moment, and it felt purposeful. “Take it away, Alan.”
Listening to the producer’s pitch was difficult to focus on now, and Alex had to fight hard against his brain latching onto the new hopes that had arisen. He was thankful that when paperwork came out, Bobby was mindful enough to have them read through it. It was taking too long, though, and Alex was already wishing he had his drumsticks in hand to help pass the time. Reggie had so many questions, and Luke had trouble understanding numerous words - at least that kept Alex occupied because he could be helpful in that. A good hour had passed going over all the information.
“This looks great!” Luke said finally. “How are we feelin’ boys?”
Each of them nodded and looked around at each other, confirming that they all agreed on every settlement. Luke grabbed a pen and pulled his copy of the contract toward him, pausing momentarily to drink in what was happening. Then he signed his name in giant letters. Alex, Bobby, and Reggie followed suit, and Alex could feel a weird tingle rush through his hand as he made the final flourish with his pen. They were all in now.
As the band began celebrating, Caleb knocked on the doorframe.
“If it’s alright with you boys, I wanted to speak with Alex privately for a moment,” Caleb said, gesturing for Alex to follow him outside the room.
His curiosity was at the point of overflowing, and he went out trying to control his trembling hands. Maybe Caleb had talked to Willie after all. This could be his way to bridge that gap and he wouldn’t have to live off of just memories.
Everyone else was still going nuts over getting the contracts signed back in the room. Standing in the lobby, Caleb was looking at him seriously, maybe even pitifully. It quickly drained the exhilaration in Alex’s chest.
“I can tell you’ve been wanting to ask me some questions,” he began. “But before you do, I thought it was best to inform you of some important details first.”
Alex looked up at him with his hands back in his pockets and gulped. Why was his heartbeat suddenly so loud? He knew Caleb couldn’t actually hear it, but it still embarrassed him. His mouth began to go dry.
Caleb furrowed his brow, as if what he was about to say wasn’t easy to get out. He bowed his head and took a breath before looking at Alex again.
“Willie,” he started. Then he paused. “Is dead.”
The trembling in Alex’s hands stopped.
He stared at Caleb, as if he could pull off the serious expression and find a joking smile underneath. It was a few moments before he remembered to breathe in, and blinking seemed to cut that moment into two as if the first one wasn’t real.
“No, no, that can’t - ” he heard the words spill out of his mouth. Why was his body so tense and ready to defend itself? His cheeks felt hot.
“I know the news is hard,” Caleb interrupted, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I can hardly bear it myself. There was an electrical fire. He didn’t make it out.”
Alex could only shake his head. Caleb’s expression wasn’t changing and for some reason it was the most infuriating sight. He could punch that face and make him bleed if he really wanted to. The adrenaline was already rushing to his fist.
“There has to be a mistake,” he said, chuckling darkly.
“There is no mistake,” Caleb told him firmly.
How was the man so calm? How could he say those words out loud and not immediately crumble to the earth? How could he have worn such a large smile earlier?
“I know you two weren’t friends for long, but he made it clear you were important to him.”
The words came through as if from a tiny speaker. They’d only gotten one day and it wasn’t enough. Willie couldn’t go like that, he simply couldn’t - not when Alex needed to know if they could’ve ever had something real. He still wanted to know so many things about him and look into those brown eyes and soften the hard edges on them. He needed to -
He was crying. On his hands and knees, trying to get the dark shadow that had grown inside his chest to come out. It made him choke. Caleb had apparently left him alone, unable to console him, and he felt hands on his back and shoulders as he fought to properly breathe. Luke was knelt down before him, mouth hanging open in want of words but not able to form any. Bobby was gripping his hand and supporting him as he and Reggie pulled him up onto his feet.
“We need to get him in the van,” one of them was saying.
Any movement from there was not his own. All three boys were trying their hardest to help the tallest member of their band out of the building. Everything was numb - like a machine that had broken down after being run too hard.
The brown eyes faded into darkness, murky and thick. There was no air in his lungs to scream into that dark, no tie-dye, no rolling of wheels on the sidewalk, no ‘ribbit’, no more wondering and hoping.
Dead quiet. That was all.
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#fanfic#jatp fanfic#willex#alive au#alex mercer#willie#luke patterson#reggie peters#bobby wilson#carlos molina#aunt victoria#caleb covington#tw death mention#sunset curve#viva las vegas#de orfeo records#fiddlepickdouglas
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Love and Leather /Part Eighty Sixx/
Word Count: 5.9k
A/N: Enjoy! sorry the updates aren’t as often like they were before. I’ll try to do better
Warnings: angst, drugs, language, drug induced paranoia
Taglist: @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @a-simple-salmon, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent, , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @vintagebox @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, , @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @broke-n-bitchy, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @herbertweeest, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @kellysimagines @thoughtsoftheantagonist , @sleepyjunhong @meetthesixxter @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @kaitieskidmore1 @unknownoblivion @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @xxisxxisxxis, @dogmom2014, @cruesixxlover1991, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @love-struck-aries, @youretheonlyonewhomakesme, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @patheticgay69 @rocknroll--baby @redlipscrystalskies14, @samanthadegaro @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @thechangingme, @idkmanhereisshitilike, @makaelahdelvalle
Nikki held my hand tightly as we walked through a crowd of photographers. Quickly, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him, my hand darting up to his chest, fingers intertwining with the layered rosaries and the same padlock necklace I had gotten for him years prior.
I heard Nikki mutter a curse word when photographers screamed for pictures and a quick word. Nikki declined but allowed them to take pictures of us. We were at the album release party and there was already a buzz about the music. Mainly because they wanted to see if Mötley could do it without Vince.
We walked inside hand in hand before he quickly let go and put distance between us. I frowned a bit but quickly perked up when Alan Kovac came up to him, "Nikki! Congratulations man." He gives him a quick hug "All the hard work has paid off. C'mon let's celebrate." He's quickly pulled in another direction, I see him glance back at me before he starts talking to Alan and the other suits. The record label, the marketers...those people.
I sigh deeply as I walk over to the open bar. At least I had an excuse to go shopping and get a new dress. I order a vodka soda with lime as I sip and people watch. I didn't know half of these people and I'm sure Nikki felt the same way. I should have just stayed home with Arianna however I wanted to make an effort in supporting him like a good girlfriend should do, or whatever I am to him.
Ever since my date a few weeks ago, Nikki has been extremely distant. I know he wants to talk about it, and I do too but we both don't know how to bring it up. So the best thing we know how to do is ignore it and act like it didn't happen. Therapy was a bust the other day too, we sat in silence for forty five minutes. How much longer can we keep doing this?
I get tired of sipping through the plastic straw and toss it to the side, chugging the rest of it before putting the glass down and ordering another one. The bartender tries to make small talk, I brush him off and leave before walking over to the VIP area where the band is. Cigarette smoke from John and Mick hit my face, I would usually say Tommy too, but he's trying to quit before the baby gets here.
I sit down in the red velvet chair besides Clementine, "That's a pretty dress. Where'd you get it?" I smile at her.
She leans closer to my ear, "I got it at Target."
God bless Clementine for not being like the other wives and girlfriends.
"It's probably the last cute dress I can fit in for the next six months. I've already been gaining weight."
"I think it's just you stress eating and not pregnancy weight." I smirk as she flips me off and playfully hits my shoulder, "What are you drinking?" I point at the red liquid in a martini glass.
"A virgin cosmopolitan." She points at mine, "Vodka soda?"
I nod, "Double the vodka." I glance seeing Nikki come over, he eyes the spot next to me before changing his mind and opts for sitting by Corabi instead. I look at him a moment before looking back at Clementine. Her eyebrows raise in question as I take another long sip.
"Let me just take a guess, he's bitter over your date with Jon?" Clementine questions as I roll my eyes, "He needs to get over it. This was the deal, you both date someone else and decide if it's what you want. It's not that hard to comprehend."
I chuckle at her words, "You would think right? The only time we talk is at the dining table with Arianna and who's doing pick up duty. Other than that, there's no interaction. I even walked around the house in my underwear and one of his shirts and he still wouldn't talk to me."
"Have you tried being the bigger person?"
Well, obviously that would be too easy.
"I don't know why I have to be the bigger person. He's the one that's all cranky about it. I stopped giving him shit for Donna after their second date. He just doesn't like when I play his game better than him, he never has." I express to her as she chuckles.
"God, you two are a match made in hell." Clementine laughs, "Forget about all of that tonight and just have some fun. You're kid free and it's an open bar. What more could you want?" I glance at Nikki as she follows my gaze, "That's beside the point!"
I smile a bit, "I'm fine Clementine. I'm here and I'm having fun."
"You're always just fine, Van."
I glance, "Because I'm fine. I'm good." I look over when Nikki gets up, holding his cell phone to his ear before he disappears into the crowd, "I'm gonna go use the restroom. Maybe get another drink and some food. You hungry?"
Clementine chuckles "Do I even have to answer that?"
I nod, using her knee as a crutch to get up. I squeeze past people before I get to the restrooms, seeing the line and groaning. I eye the men's bathroom for a second, not seeing a single line or a dude walk through the doors. I clear my throat walking past dirty glares and eye rolls as I walk into the bathroom.
"Oh fuck.." I turn around seeing Corabi taking a piss, "I'm sorry John."
He laughs a bit, I hear the noise of his zipper before the flush of the urinal, "It's okay. There's nobody in the stalls." I nod quickly, walking into it. God, men are fucking disgusting. I squat over the toilet doing my business as I hear him wash his hands before repeated sniffing. I hear him mutter a "shit" before more sniffing. I flush the toilet and step out seeing him using his car key to take a bump.
"You want some?"
My mouth runs dry and the angel and devil are arguing on my shoulder, "I didn't know you used." I step over paper towels on the floor and go to wash my hands hearing him sniff again before pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Just socially. Helps with my anxiety." He responds monotone as he looks at me through the mirror. I see his eyes wander down the backside of me as I reach to dry my hands.
"Does Nikki know?"
"Why? You gonna tell him?" I shake my head and he smiles, "Good girl." He offers the bump to me as I stare at it.
C'mon. Just go ahead. Look out how little that bump is. It won't do anything to you.
I shake my head, "I'm okay John. Thank you though." I step to the door but he steps back and leans against it, "I should get back to-"
"Nikki?" He laughs, "Arent you two fighting right now? He's bitched about you for weeks now."
"John, you don't know what you're talking about. We're just having a disagreement." I stare at him, watching him sniff the white powder again.
Go ahead. Just say yes. You know you want too. C'mon, what's the big worry?
John laughs at me as he shoves his curly strands out of his face, "I guess dating other people is a pretty big disagreement."
"It's what he wanted." I raised my voice, becoming stern as he smiled at me.
"Hey sweetheart. It ain't any of my business." John snorts one last key bump before closing the vial and puts it back in his pocket. He grabs the door and holds it open, "Ladies first..."
My feet stay planted as I stare at him, he raises an eyebrow before closing the bathroom door, "One bump and that's it." Johns lips tug upwards as he pulls out the vial, "And you don't say shit. It stays here in the bathroom or I swear to god I will ruin your fucking life."
He doesn't say anything in return just a simple chortle as he dips the silver key into the vial. I hold a nostril close as I snort it up quickly. The whiz going straight to my head. I feel my heart beat throughout my body and the goosebumps rising on my skin cause me to shiver. I try to rub away the irritation, sneezing repeatedly right after, "Thanks.." I see that he holds out another one I sigh and snort it in the other nostril.
John chuckles as I wipe my face. He opens the door and follows behind me.
I feel Corabi's hand rest on my lower back as he gets us back over to the bands section. I stop walking seeing Donna sitting next to Nikki, her tan legs draped over his knee as she clutches a fruity drink with an umbrella. She's whispering in his ear and he laughs at whatever she said. His hand is placed over her knee, rubbing up and down her bare thigh, fingers pulling on the bottom hem of her skirt.
I glare at them, feeling my wrist being pulled on as my name is being shouted over the music, "What did you say?" I look at Clementine, eyes low and hazy as she stares at me.
"I said...what took you so long!?" She shouts a bit, dragging me over to the booth as I can't take my eyes off of them. Donna leans over and kisses his cheek and jaw as he as the biggest smile plastered on his lips. I feel my chest heaving up and down as I try to find a solid breath of air to suck in. Clementine touched my cheek to bring me back to her and away from the looming panic that was slowly rising.
"Sorry, the bathroom...the-the uh line was really long." I stare confused again as I now hear Donnas high pitched laugh over all the other noise. Why? Why was she here when I'm here? When he held my hand and held me close when we got here?
"And no food?" Clementine laughs. How could she be laughing? Does nobody see what's going on? My eyes widen when Nikki gently grips her throat, his thumb running over her skin back and forth as he kisses her. His eyes stay opened and locked on mine.
"Why's he doing that?!" I shout, startling her as she turns to look at what I'm yelling at.
"Who? Whose doing what?" She asks confused, staring at me concerned, "Vanity? Hey! Look at me!"
I can't rip my eyes away, Nikki smiles at me when she kisses his neck and touches his exposed chest, "Don't you fucking see her kissing him?!?"
"Whose kissing who Vanity?! Jesus Christ are you drunk already?!" She pulls me to the side but I try to fight her, "Vanity! Stop!"
"Nikki!! He-he's just!!-" I try to get it out, but my words are a jumbled, slurred mess.
"....is getting his picture taken with the band?" Clementine says in my ear as she points over to them. Huge smiles on their faces as they hang off of one another laughing and yelling as flashes from cameras go off.
I blink a few times, staring. Nikki sees me and waves at me. I look over to the couch, no one was there, "What?" I say quietly as Clementine grips my arm and drags me out the back doors. I feel relief wash over me as the cold air hits my skin.
"What did you do?" She shoves my shoulders, "What did you do Vanity?!" She shoves me again until I'm leaning against the concrete wall. I feel the world spinning around me, Clem is a distorted mess as she yells "What did you fucking take?!"
"I-I didnt..." I can barely focus on the three of them that were standing in front of me "Oh god..." I mutter as I run my hands through my hair.
"Don't you dare lie to me!" She shouts, "You look sicker than a fucking dog and your eyes won't stay still!"
I rest my hand at the base of my throat, I felt like I was choking on nothing as I try my hardest to focus, "B-blow! I had some blow in the bathroom! A-and I-I think I'm h-having a bad reaction!" I stutter over my words, trying to keep my tears in.
"Yeah?! You fucking think?! God Damnit." Clementine groans as she paces around before grabbing my hand "C'mon-" she tries to pull me back inside.
"No! I can't go inside! Not while he's with her!!"
"What?!" Clementine stares at me, eyes narrowing, "What are you talking about? He's not with anyone-"
"Yes he is!! I saw them!" I flinched, breathing rapidly when Clementine cupped my cheeks, "I-I saw them. And they were kissing and he was looking at me to make sure I was watching!! Why would he do that?!"
"Van-Vanity hey! Hey! Listen to me-" I shook my head as she forced me to look at her, "Nikki is not with anyone. You're just seeing things and none of it is real. It's just your mind making you hallucinate. None of it is real-" She repeated, "Let's go inside and try to relax, alright? We'll get some water and some food."
"None of it is real..." Clementine nodded as I shook under her hands, "Okay..."
*Clementine’s POV*
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!!!!
I held onto Vanity's arm, feeling her tremble as we walked back inside. Her jaw muscle was clenching and unclenching repeatedly. I looked down at the crease of her elbow hoping to find a prick mark from a needle but there was none. I guided her back over to our section as she plopped down on the couch, hunched over with her head between her knees.
"Okay. C'mon, you gotta sit up or someone's gonna ask questions." I told her as she leaned back against the cushion, pupils blown with greens and golds lit up around them, "I'll be right back, okay? I'm just gonna get us some water." Van looked panicked but she quickly nodded.
I glanced at her one last time before walking away, seeing the guys at the bar. Tommy smiled, running up to me and giving me a kiss, "There you are!" He cheered, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"Hi baby." I leaned up to kiss his cheek "I'm just getting some water for me and Van.." I tell him, he yells at the bartender to get one water and one Jack and coke, "Tommy..."
"It's too early for her to be drinking water." He whistles loudly and yells for Vanity as loud as he can, "Go bring her over here! She needs to celebrate too instead of moping around." He laughs a bit, "Vanity!!" He shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth.
I glance seeing her watching, she slowly gets up...well stumbling up as she comes over, "Jesus, maybe she does need a water..."
"Tommy...she fucked up.." I say in his ear as he looks at me.
"Well yeah! I'm sure she is a little fucked up by the way she's walking." He laughs loudly again and I grow frustrated with him.
I grab his arm and pull him closer to my height, "No Tommy. She fucked up. She snorted some blow and now she's having a bad reaction or trip or whatever the hell it is. She's hallucinating." I tell him over the music as he stares at me for a moment before glancing behind me. I turn around seeing Nikki sitting in a chair laughing.
Tommy walks away from me as he goes over to Vanity, wrapping his arm around her waist and helps her walk straight. He brings her over, blocking Nikki's view as he helps her up onto the barstool. He reaches over the bar and grabs a bottle of water and forces it into her hand "Drink it now or I dump it on you." He tells her sternly, I see the gleam of fight in her eyes, but she does what she's asked to do anyways.
Tommy turns back to me, "We need to tell Nikki." I suggest as he stares, before laughing.
"Baby have you gone nuts?! That's gonna be world war three! Just let her relax. She's just having some coke induced paranoia, she'll come down from it in a little bit." I move past him when I see Vanity struggling to keep her head up. I place my hand at the base of her neck and glare at him, "She could be overdosing Tommy."
"She's not foaming out the mouth and she isn't seizing. She's fine. I've seen her snort two eight balls in one night and obviously she lived. She's clean and sober and it's probably a shock to the system." Tommy laughs a bit, taking a sip of his beer as he looks at me, "What?"
"Is that suppose to make me feel better?!"
"Please don't fight over me. I'm sorry..." Vanity slurs as she looks at us, "I just wanted something to make me feel better."
"It's okay, Van. Just try to relax." Tommy sweet talks her as I slap his chest.
"It is not okay! Just sit there and be quiet. And pray to god Nikki doesn't feel like making things up with you."
*Nikki's POV*
My eyes wandered a few seats over seeing Tommy and Clementine laughing with Vanity. An empty pit formed in my gut as i watched them for a moment. I was only avoiding the situation because she was avoiding it too. I rubbed my face before ordering a Jack and coke and a vodka cranberry for Van to break the ice. I pop a piece of gum into my mouth before grabbing the drinks.
I strutted over, seeing Tommy and Clementine bickering about something before they turn to me, staring intently "What?" I glance at them before sitting in the chair next to Van, placing the glass in front of her and resting my forearm against the back of her chair.
"Vans actually done drinking." Clementine announced, "I told her not to eat that shrimp cocktail."
I glanced at her before Van "Are you okay?" I spoke against her ear as she nodded quickly.
"I'm okay. I feel better now. Just got a little woozy is all." I catch a bit of her slurring as I watch her reach for the glass and take a sip, the ice cubes shaking and clinking as she holds the cocktail. I glance down at my watch, we had barely been here for 2 hours.
"Do you wanna go home?" I ask softly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "I've talked to enough people and don't mind being home with you." I touch her shoulder and feel her tense up.
She shakes her head, looking at the counter of the bar and not me, "No, it's okay. I promise I'm fine. I guess I just drank too much to fast. I'm good Sixx."
I nod, leaving it at that but I still look at her worried. I notice her hands shaking still as she grips the edge of the bar, "Van, look at me a moment." She quickly glances at me before looking past me, "Please look at me. Just me." My eyes wander behind her seeing Tommy and Clementine looking at me, Clementine nervously chewing on her thumb nail as Tommy had a look of worrisome.
Golden eyes find mine, pupils blown but I don't react as I can see tears in her eyes. She knows that I know and that's enough for me. I put my hand on the side of her cheek, she was flushed and burning up, "Keep it together." I spoke sternly as she quickly nodded at my words.
"I-I I'm sorry.." she stumbled over her words, "I'm so sorry Nikki." My thumb catches the tear that rolls down.
"Just keep it together, okay? Only for a little while longer."
Vanity takes a deep breath in and exhales through her nose, "Okay...I can do that. Then we can go home?"
My lips curl in a smile, fighting back every derogative word I wanted to scream in her face "Yes doll, then we can go home. You sit tight, get some water and relax." I tell the bartender to give her a another water bottle before I glare looking at Clem and Tommy.
I leave Vans side, motioning for the two to come over to me, "What is she on? Is it coke? If that's the case, it's the calmest I've ever seen her than."
"W-what do you mean? She's on something? I had no clue.." Tommy stammers as I give him a look.
"Cut the shit. Is she using again?" I look at Clementine, begging for answers as she shrugged.
"I don't know Nikki. And I don't know what she's on. She wasn't making any sense and she started crying then she was hallucinating. She needs to go home Nikki."
I laughed "Have you fucking lost it? Arianna will still be up. If she's hallucinating here she'll be hallucinating at home." I look over at Van seeing her reaching out for something that's not even there, "Fuck. Just keep her distracted or something. I don't want her ruining anything tonight." I sighed in frustration running my hand over my face as I let out a muttered fuck, "I gotta step outside for a minute. Just keep an eye on her, please."
~Next Morning~
I jolt awake, gasping for a breath as I push and kick my comforter off of me. I wipe the sweat from my forehead before holding my stomach, god I felt like I was gonna hurl. My bedroom door is thrown open, the handle hitting the wall as Arianna and Anarchy come running in.
"Mommy!! I'm going with auntie and uncle Tommy today!" She announces pulling herself onto my bed and sitting on her knees in front of me, "Daddy said she's on her way to get me."
I rub my eyes and smile looking at the bun Nikki put her hair in "Is your backpack ready? And your shoes picked out?"
She nodded feverishly, "Yes! Daddy did it and told me to come wake you up to say bye." I run my hands through my hair before getting up. I notice my rooms in disarray as I pull up a pair of sweats. I help Arianna jump off the bed and she's clinging to my leg as we walk down the hallway and to the stairs. She lets go of me as she sits, sliding down the stairs and laughs up a storm as Anarchy chases her down.
"You ready for the whole day with your favorite person besides me?" Nikki smiles handing over her sneakers. I say good morning to him as I walk to the kitchen but he ignores me.
"The whole day? Does that mean I can bring my toys over?!" I hear Nikki chuckle, "No sweetie. I think you still have plenty of toys over there."
I pour myself a cup of coffee and let Anarchy out at the back door before going to the living room and sitting down, "Daddys right baby. You still have a lot over there."
She pouts a bit, "But they aren't new toys like the ones I have here.."
"Just ask Uncle Tommy for new toys." I shrug and smile at her as her eyes light up.
"Van." Nikki scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Arianna, you're fine with the toys you have there and the toys you have here. You aren't getting anything new."
Arianna huffs before she stands in front of the tv watching cartoons, "You hungry V? I can cook you something. She already ate."
I nod, looking at him "I'm starving. Can you make French toast? What are we doing today since she's going over to Clems?"
I stare when he narrows his eyes at me, "I'm staying home and so are you." He says sternly as my eyebrows pull together, "Don't need you in public till the news and frenzy dies down about your behavior."
I tilt my head to the side, "My behavior?" I say confused as I hear a car horn.
"Wait till she's out of the house, yeah?" Nikki rolls his eyes at me and I frown at his attitude. He helps Arianna with her jacket and hands over her backpack, "See you later bug." He bends down and kisses her forehead before he leaves to the kitchen.
"Is daddy mad?" Arianna questions curiously as we walk to the front door.
"What? No, no, daddy's not mad. You know he's just grumpy in the mornings." I bend down to fix her laces, "I'll see you later okay? Be good and we can go to blockbuster tonight." She leans forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. I open the car door for her and help her get up and wait till she buckled. I feel Clementine looking at me and I glance, "Good morning."
"Morning.." she grumbles but cheers up when she says the same thing to Arianna.
"Thanks for taking her. I don't remember us talking about it though?"
"Yeah, you didn't. Nikki asked me."
Why was everyone being so damn short with me?
"Okay...well have fun. Bye Ari." I wave to her as Clem rolls the window up and starts heading down the driveway.
I walk back in the house, leaning against the front door as I smell cinnamon and vanilla coming from the kitchen. I feel jittery as I walk through the house, Nikki has the portable radio on to the rock station in the kitchen. He's moving his head a bit and has his back towards me, I pull myself on the barstool and keep to myself.
"That was Bulls on Parade by Rage Against The Machine and you're listening to KLAZT LA's best rock station. Up next, we're taken it back with a littl Home Sweet Home by Mötley Crüe. Speaking of the Crüe, did anyone else see the article in entertainment today about the antics of Vanity Blackwood last night at their album release party. Chick seems like a real keeper...Not!"
I gasp before Nikki tosses the magazine down on the counter, "You fucking embarssed me last night Vanity."
I stare at the magazine cover. I look fucking plastered as Nikki is trying to keep me standing and the headline reads: The princess takes a tumble as Mötley Crüe heads in the direction of their old antics.
My eyes widen at the shots of me on my knees outside of a limo with both Tommy and Nikki trying to pull me up. I pull up my sweats seeing cuts and bruises on my kneecaps and shins.
"God, Nikki..I-I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I-I don't remember any of this."
Mötley Crüe was suppose to be celebrating their album release with new lead singer John Corabi, however they ended up babysitting. Vanity Blackwood (Nikki Sixx's ex and baby mama) had one too many fruity drinks and ended up having to be escorted out (see above). Our office reached out to the bands rep but they had no comment.
Nikki slammed his hand down on the counter, covering the picture of me in the limo with a bright yellow star reading 'censored' between my spread legs, "You're really going to look me in the eye, lie, and tell me you don't remember any of this shit? You humiliated yourself, me, and the band. So who gave you the fucking blow?"
Everything came rushing back, the blow in the bathroom with Corabi, the hallucinations, the vomit outside in the rose bushes when we got home, "I-I went to the bathroom then I needed some air and clem came with me and I started hyperventilating and that's all I remember."
"Vanity." Nikki took a deep breath, "Just tell me what happened. I won't get mad, I just want to know. I was fucking worried sick about you last night, almost took you to the damn hospital."
I pushed the magazine away from me, "I went to the bathroom, then I went outside. I remember I was seeing crap that wasn't there. And I felt sick to my stomach. But I didn't snort anything I swear. I haven't touched anything since New York."
"Vanity! You weren't acting drugged! Or like someone spiked your drink! You were a incoherent mess, you were pale as a ghost and your pupils were as big as the eye of a needle."
The yelling made my head throb as I rubbed my temples to relieve it, "I don't know, Nikki. The last thing I remember is sitting at the bar."
He rolled his eyes, "So I don't know when you're high on coke? You were a babbling mess. Kept saying shit over and over. You're jaw was clenched so god damn tight I thought I was going to have to take you to a dentist! Fuck! Van! You were saying I was with Donna and wouldn't shut the fuck up about it! She wasn't around! Wasn't even fucking invited!" He stepped away from me to go flip the French toast angrily and toss the spatula down after.
"I don't know Nikki..." I spoke in a soft whisper, "I didn't snort, smoke, or shoot anything. Why can't you believe me?" I was already this far down the rabbit hole, why should I stop now?
"Because Van, I know you. Did John give you something because he was acting fucking weird too."
I shook my head looking at him, his eyes were drilling holes in an attempt to get it out of me, "No....I barely talked to him. I congratulated him and that was it."
"Fine." He glares for a moment before looking away, "We'll have to wait a few days before coming out with a statement to clear things up."
"Can't we just wait for it to blow over like everyone else does?"
He scoffed, "Seriously?! You dragged my bands name through the fucking mud!" Nikki shouts before stomping over to the tv and turning it to MTV, "They've been talking about your god damn interview all morning."
"Any thoughts on the album Vanity?"
I rubbed my face as I saw myself almost fall over nothing before grabbing onto the interviewer for stability, "Well, in my honest opinion, the album could be better." I slurred every word, "It's-its not Mötley and it sucks without Vince. Corabi sucks, and the album sucks. It sounds like every band now a days. It's too...too heavy. And! And you know what else!" I pointed my finger at the camera and grabbed ahold of the microphone, "Vince wasn't even fired like Nikki said. I was there that day. Nikki was just bitching like he always does and-"
I felt sick to my stomach when Nikki turned off the tv and threw the remote down, "That's why we need a god damn statement. We'll go with your lie about the spiked drink and call it a day. Got it?"
"It's not a lie.."
"Just don't. Just fucking don't, okay? I know when you are lying and when you're telling the truth. I'm done fucking talking about it."
I stared down at my nails, seeing dried blood around my knuckles. Just say it. Just tell the truth. Just say Corabi gave you the drugs and risk the chance of Nikki kicking him out of the band. I heard Nikki groan when the house phone started ringing.
"What?!" He answers it before rolling his eyes, "It's for you." Nikki glares and hands it to me.
I get up and go with down on the couch, "Hello?"
"Bad time to call huh? It's Jon..." I smiled a bit and peaked over the back of the couch to see Nikki in the kitchen cooking, "I just uh...I saw MTV and-"
"Please, please don't watch it. I was really drunk last night and was acting like a total idiot. That's not how I am and I didn't mean anything I said." I explain, running my hand through my hair, grimacing when I feel it sticking together.
"I figured...they're making you seem like a bad person and I just wanted to make sure you're okay sweetheart." I hear his smile from the other side.
"I'm okay....just dealing with the repercussions. But thank you for checking in. It's really sweet of you."
"You're welcome. But hey..since I have you on the phone. I was hoping maybe we could get together soon? I had a lot of fun last time and I've been thinking about you quite some bit."
I blushed a bit, "Really? Um...yeah, I'd love to see you again. I'm free next weekend."
"That sounds good. Can I pick you up around four?"
My eyes widened, "You wanna pick me up? I can just drive to wherever."
Jon chuckles a bit, "Sixx gonna shoot me or something? Look, I'll take my chances just for you. You'll love what I have planned."
"Okay...yeah you can pick me up. My address is 7904 Palo Verde Court and the code to the gate is 666.."
I smile when Jon laughs, "How clever of him. I'll see you next Saturday Van. Don't listen to the media, it will eat you alive."
I thank him again and say my goodbyes as I put the phone back on the receiver. I go over to the plate Nikki put down as he's already eating, "Will seeing my tits make you feel better?"
"Shut up. Seeing you naked and bent over isn't going to make anything better. I'm pissed Van."
I sigh, "I know. And I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I didn't mean anything I said about the album. I like the album, it's not my favorite but I like it. You know I support everything you create."
"It didn't feel like it." I hear and see the frown and I gently reach over and touch his hand.
"I mean it Nikki. That wasn't me last night and I'm sorry I had you worried." Nikki gave my hand a squeeze before letting go.
"Let's just move past it okay? It already happened and there is no reason for us to argue about it. You said your piece and I said mine. We have time without the kid so let's just relax today." He leaned over and kissed the side of my head, "Love you..”
“I love you too.”
To whom it may concern,
My behavior and antics a few nights ago at the album release party were completely and utterly unacceptable. In no way, shape or form is that how I truly am. I was heavily under the influence and after a trip to the hospital, my blood work had an ungodly amount of Rohypnol in it. So in other words, my drink was ‘roofied’. We are working with the LAPD and the club owners to narrow down the assailant. To the boys, the band, Mötley Crüe, I have never once had any ill feelings towards anything that has been created. I have loved and cherished each album that has been put out by the band. I am extremely apologetic for anyone's feelings in and out of the band I have affected in a negative manor
Best Regards,
Vanity Blackwood
#motley crue#the dirt#nikki sixx#motley crue fanfic#the dirt fanfic#nikki sixx fanfic#writing#stories#fanfiction#ff#motley crue fanfiction#the dirt fanfiction#nikki sixx fanfiction#nikki sixx x o/c#1990s#rock n roll#glam metal#1980s#the dirt book#the dirt movie#douglas booth!nikki sixx#lauren jauregui#my idea#my story
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The Familiar Face
Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: The past has a nasty way of coming back to haunt you and Victoria must learn to deal with it
Category: angst, fluff
Chapter One: Nomination
It was a relatively quiet day at Bloom Edenbrook. There wasn’t any traumas coming in, the diagnostics team were not very busy. The day was spent catching up on paperwork from the previous day.
Victoria Ramsey walked down the corridor to the ER with a file in her hands. She had just successfully diagnosed a young girl with a rare form of Leukaemia and was about to put the files away. As she walked down the corridor, she could see the many doctors and nurses of Bloom Edenbrook working away with patients, refilling IV stands, bandaging wounds and drawing blood.
Victoria passed the office of the leader of the diagnostics team. He was probably busy with paperwork like Victoria was. She thought about going in and taking his mind off of all of it. She would once these papers were filed away. Then they could steal a few moments together before they got back to work.
Being with Ethan had made Victoria feel a kind of happiness she had never felt before. One that made her never want to leave his side. They had been married for just over 4 years. Life couldn’t be more perfect.
Victoria was surprised that Ethan was open to the idea of children. It was him that brought it up, saying that if he could get used to the idea of marriage, he could definitely be a father. And that’s exactly what happened. They had a twin boy and girl, Luke and Lily Ramsey.
As Victoria got closer to the ER, she noticed there was a large group of interns gathered in the doctors lounge. As she looked into the room, she saw them all transfixed on the TV screen.
“Do you reckon he’ll win the nomination?”
“He has to! He’s so popular amongst the older voters and they make up a large amount of the population!”
“You won’t catch me voting for him. He’s a creep.”
“Shh! They’re about to announce the votes.”
Victoria walked closer to the TV screen to see what was happening. It was the nomination for who to nominate to represent the Republican Party at the Presidential Election. Victoria had avoided reading anything about the election or watching the coverage on TV. She wanted no business in dealing with politicians or deciding their future.
“It gives me great pleasure to announce that former Mayor and Senator of Massachusetts Ed Farrugia has been selected as the Republican Party’s nomination for the upcoming US Election!”
The name Ed Farrugia was a name she wanted to leave in the past. Flashbacks to that night played across her mind and her hand started trembling. She knew she should get out of there as soon as possible. But for some reason, Victoria was rooted to the spot, watching Ed be congratulated by fellow nominees and hearing his name be chanted by the crowd.
“It’s a great honour to receive the nomination in my home state. And I make this promise now. We are going to do great things, we will get this country back on track and make it the same America everyone admired us by. I will do all I can to make America a safe and welcoming place for all. Thank you!”
The place erupted and some of the doctors watching nodded and murmured in support. Victoria realised she had heard enough and stumbled out the room, nearly walking into the doorway. She had to get out of there and fast.
As quick as she could, Victoria went to the one person who could calm her nerves down easily.
“Please be in your office.” Victoria said as she made her way down the hallway and into his office. She breathed a sigh of relief when he was sat at his desk.
“Hey.” Ethan said barely looking up from his desk. When Victoria didn’t respond he looked up. He noticed the distress on her face, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “What’s wrong?” Ethan said jumping up from his seat, guiding Victoria to the sofa and sitting down next to her, pulling her into his arms.
“I...” Victoria couldn’t get the words out, instead she just sobbed into his arms. Ethan looked at his wife with concern, he hadn’t seen her this distressed since that night. Something big must’ve happened. “He’s running for President. He’s actually doing it.”
Ethan knew exactly who she was talking about. She might’ve managed to avoid reading the news but he didn’t. He regularly looked for updates on Senator Ed, wondering what he was up to.
“It’s okay.” Ethan comforted her stroking her back. Once the tears had subsided, Ethan got up and made Victoria a cup of coffee setting it on the table.
“Why is he doing this? How can he do this?” Victoria sighed.
“Because he’s a very powerful man who wants a very powerful position.” Ethan replied.
“But hasn’t his reputation declined in the years? How did he get enough support?” Victoria asked.
“Unfortunately people who support politicians from the beginning can’t have their minds changed. And there were enough of them for Ed Farrugia.” Ethan sighed.
“You don’t think he’d come here do you? Start gaining support outside the hospital? I know he said he was backing down on his rehab bill again but he could easily change his mind and what about-“
Ethan cut off Victoria by pressing his lips softly to hers, cradling her face in his hands. She melted into the kiss before pulling away and rested her forehead against his.
“If he ever does come here I’ll make sure he doesn’t set foot inside the hospital. I will make that very clear at the next meeting I promise.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” Victoria laughed hugging Ethan.
“You didn’t have to do anything. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.” Ethan said.
“Don’t be silly Ethan.” Victoria giggled. “Will you do me a favour?”
“Anything.”
“Will you call your Dad and get him to bring the twins back tonight? I need to cuddle my babies.”
“Of course, I miss them too.”
— — — — —
A simple phone call and Alan was more than happy to bring Luke and Lily Ramsey back early. The twins however were sad that they were ending their sleepover at Grandad Alan’s house early but were excited to see mummy and daddy again.
Ethan kept an eye on Victoria throughout the reminder of her shift, he tried to persuade her to go home but she insisted she was ok. Ethan knew how stubborn his wife was so didn’t press the matter further. He did however turn off the TV in the doctors lounge, something the interns complained about but one silenced look from Ethan made them keep their mouths shut.
Ethan had also spoken to Naveen and Leland and told them that Victoria and him would be taking a week off in order to spend some time as a family, Naveen had no problem with it at all, Leland had tried to argue against Ethan but Ethan’s mind wasn’t about to be changed. He was going to take care of his wife, spend some time with his family and that was the end of it.
When they got home, they ate dinner and then retreated to the sofa. Victoria turned on the TV and was immediately met with coverage on Ed Farrugia.
“You don’t have to watch it Vic.” Ethan said.
“It’s ok. I know I’ve avoided it all so far but I’m not now. I’m not afraid of him. I never have been.” Victoria smiled.
The doorbell then rang and Ethan went to answer it. He was met with the smiling face of Alan and the excited faces of Luke and Lily.
“Daddy!” Luke and Lily immediately ran into Ethan’s arms, the latter bending down to greet the two tiny humans.
“I missed you both. Why don’t you go find mummy? She’s in the living room.” Ethan smiled at the twins watching them run off down the hall to find Victoria.
“You were exactly like that at their age.” Alan laughed.
“Yeah and now look at me.” Ethan replied although he couldn’t fight back a small smile. “Thank you for bringing them back early. It’s just been a tough day and Victoria really wanted to see them.”
“It’s not a problem. I did see the news earlier and I understand.” Alan smiled.
“I know. I can’t believe he would do this. He’s nothing but a...” Ethan checked behind him to make sure the twins were out of earshot. “A bastard.”
“I agree. I won’t be voting for him.” Alan replied.
Ethan said goodbye to Alan and made his way into the living room where he saw Luke and Lily cuddled up with Victoria. He sat down on the sofa and Lily curled up against his side, on the verge of falling asleep. Not wanting her to fall asleep where she was, Ethan picked her up and carried her to her bedroom.
“No Daddy. I’m not asleep.” Lily murmured laying her head on his shoulder.
“You’ll be more comfortable in your bed.” Ethan said carrying her up the stairs and helping her into her pyjamas. Victoria brought Luke up and both parents tucked their children in giving them a few kisses before they retreated from the door and went back downstairs.
“Do you reckon I can make them stay small forever?” Victoria said slumping back onto the sofa.
“I reckon you couldn’t stop them if you tried.” Ethan chuckled putting an arm around Victoria. “Although if you’re getting broody again...”
“No way. Two is enough for me.” Victoria laughed.
“I’m glad we agree on that.” Ethan grinned.
“Do you think Ed would win the election?” Victoria asked after a period of silence.
Ethan wasn’t sure how to answer that. Republicans were very powerful people and sometimes, powerful people did big things. Ed Farrugia was still popular amongst the public, apart from those at Bloom Edenbrook.
Ethan would never forget that night. Nearly having Victoria slip away from him was one of the worst moments of his life. Today he did all he could to protect her and if that meant refusing to let Ed Farrugia visit Bloom Edenbrook Hospital then so be it.
“I don’t know. He’s still a very popular man no matter what we think of him. Many people don’t know what went on.” Ethan sighed.
“That’s true. I wonder what the others will make of it. I hope Bobby and Danny’s family haven’t seen the news.” Victoria sighed.
“It’ll all be ok. Whatever happens. We’ll get through it.” Ethan replied. “Now am I going to have to carry you to bed or are you able to walk to the bedroom?”
“Are you trying to get me into bed Ethan Ramsey?” Victoria smirked.
“Is it working?”
“You’ll have to find out.” Victoria winked, walking to the bedroom.
Ethan followed her quickly not wanting to disappoint her.
— — — — —
New series is here! Had this in the drafts for a while.
Apologies if the way I’ve written how the nominees for President are chosen or the timeline for when they are chosen are incorrect. I am not American!
Also I’m not 100% sure what party Ed Farrugia represents and I don’t think it’s ever specified in the book, and I researched that Massachusetts hasn’t had a Republican Senator since the 80s but as this is a fictional world and given Ed’s attitude throughout book 2, I’ve placed him as a Republican, just to make the fic more interesting.
So, Ed Farrugia is running for President! Who would’ve thought! 😉
The big question is will he win the election?
Tag list: @ohchoices @openheartfan @queencarb @genevievemd @iemcpbchoices
#open heart#ethan ramsey#ethan ramsey x mc#play choices#pixelberry#fanfic#series#fanfic series#angst#fluff
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HEY GUYS! I watched the livestream of Rogue One with writers Gary Whitta and Chris Weitz. I took notes. Because that’s what I DO. I jotted down some of my takeaways. Please note I was watching RO, watching the stream, taking notes, and also doing a few other things so these MAY NOT BE PERFECT. Please feel free to correct me if you see something I misrepresented. That said I tried to be accurate.
YES they DO TALK ABOUT the romantic chemistry between Jyn & Cassian but that is literally at the end, but feel free to peruse the rest of the points because there’s some pretty interesting insights (some good and some bad O_O like Cassian’s original storyline, yuck)
ANYWAYS let’s go
Inglourious Bastards inspired the Lah’mu scene (Gary Whitta wrote this scene, although he admitted it changed a lot but a lot of the structure and ideas stayed in)
In the original version of the script, Lyra was a Jedi in hiding, but this was one of the first things that got killed
Mads thinks he plays a bad guy, but Gary thinks he played a good guy
They talked about how Galen originally wanted to use kyber crystals for energy, but it got weaponized (which is talked about Catalyst)
stormtrooper doll is a gareth edwards touch
idea was that there’d be good people on the Imperial side and bad people on the rebel side
Cassian’s first scene on the Rings of Kafrene was written by Tony Gilroy (who wasn’t present in the stream) later. In the earlier versions, the DS is something that Jyn goes and finds. It was much more like Zero Dark Thirty where she was putting together the clues, and it was a battle for Jyn to get the rebels to take it seriously, but that was too much of a slow burn. So the Tivik scene was to replace that and introduce the idea that Cassian can be dark. Everyone admired Diego’s beautiful bit of acting as he's just lost a little bit of his soul in the fight for justice, the morality is the first victim. It’s very subtle but it’s one of Gary’s fave pieces of acting in the movie
Chris said for awhile they had Ord Mandell, then shifted to the notion of something more like in Casablanca, so a bit of a flavor of that, a part of the Empire that has been taken over that is under violent oversight
Gary said in the original, Jyn went to Ord Mantell (mentioned in Empire?) to find an arms dealer to help her find Saw, then went to another planet where Saw was living on a moon called Yarid
Budget realities played a part in the decision making to scale this back; they wanted to put so much more but just couldn’t fit it in
Originally we were supposed to see the rebels evacuate Dantooine and move to Yavin 4, but it didn’t really accomplish anything in the story accept to nod to SW fans. It didn’t move the story forward and would have cost too much
It was Tony Gilroy writing with Jyn getting freed on Wobani. Some original ideas had toyed with possibilities that she was a deserter or Rey-like scavenger, but obviously you can’t do that once you learn what the the Empire does (chris)
Only time they didn’t use a title card was Mustafar bc they wanted fans to go OH SHIT IT'S MUSTAFAR, also worked bc Mustafar would have been one of those off-the-map planets
Gary was responsible for getting Mothma in the movie
How much did the Yavin 4 briefing get worked on? A lot. sort of inspired by a scene from Apocalypse Now.
“I think this movie really beautifully bridges the gap between the original and prequel” and one of the ways it does that is JIMMY SMITS
Lots of gushing over Yavin. “Gareth just shot the shit out of this movie.” so much praise for Gareth’s vision. “Gareth can compose a shot unlike anyone I know.”
The Yavin 4 set was fully contiguous; you could walk from the inside all the way outside in one continuous shot.
K-2SO is a great example of how one character can have many fathers. John Knoll originally came up with him and he was originally a rebel logistics droid envisioned to be a “black C-3PO” (whatever that was supposed to mean - Gary wasn’t sure). Gary proposed that he could be an Imperial droid that was captured by the rebellion and reprogrammed. K-2 was really limited with what he could do working for the Empire, but once he was liberated, he was going to speak his mind. Chris and Tony and Alan all gave him more life, everyone has a little piece of K-2′s parentage.
Only ever one casting choice for Saw, which was Forest Whitaker. Gary also knew Ben Mendelsohn would be cast as krennic, but no one else was cast at that point -- he knew it was down to 3 choices for Jyn, but wouldn’t say who
Chris brought Bodhi into the story (Gary said so but Chris wasn’t sure)
For Tarkin, they took shots from the ANH and unused takes. There was also a mold of Peter Cushing that had been sitting in a prop shop for decades (I didn’t get what movie it was, something where he needed a large prosthetic eye or something), and they scanned that.
Binoculars that Jyn and Cassian look through on Jedha were inspired from the scene in ANH (like when luke looks through them on Tatooine)
Chris was responsible for Jedha, Temple of the Whills, and Chirrut’s connection to the Force. And Bor Gullet, I think. They said Bor Gullet delights in traumatic memories (more delicious to him). There was a cut idea/scene: Bor Gullet made Jyn trade her traumatic memories for information she wanted.
They talked about the two dudes Jyn runs into that are also in ANH and how they survived the destruction of jedha only to get killed by a Jedi the next day - they must have needed to get a drink at a cantina after narrowly leaving Jedha. Puts their presence at the cantina in a new light.
Screenwriters would tell you this [Jyn saving the girl on Jedha] is a classic “save the cat moment” so that we like that character that otherwise we might not -- like jyn [RUDE, but I think they were joking] [also i took beginner screenwriting in college and YES the “save the cat moment” was like lesson 1 lol
They wanted this war to look like a proper war, and [Jedha] really looks like something you might see happen. Wanted people to feel like it wasn’t just about stormtroopers hassling the guy on the street corner but there were real lives at stake
Commentary on Jyn’s Awesome Fight Scene: this is the first moment Cassian really realizes that Jyn is no one to be messed with
They guessed that Tony came up with the K-2 gag after Jyn’s fight sequence
Lots of good commentary here about how action scenes need to serve a purpose, they can’t just be fighting: they gotta reveal character and story -- don’t write the specifics of the fight, but write what the action is supposed to mean, let choreographers make it look good
Chris said Gareth kind of requested a character like Chirrut, and Chris had been messing around with a Force priest and they became the same guy. Baze was originally a murderer and criminal, and Chirrut was his confessor figure, and they had a weird codependent relationship in which Malbus would commit crimes and Chirrut would forgive him for it. But in this they are both Guardians of Whills. Baze saving Chirrut reminds Gary of Indiana Jones shooting the guy with the sword. Good example of action sequence having a purpose: showing Chirrut & Baze’s dynamic
Coming up with names in SW -- no real formula, you just know it when you hear it
Lots of freedom to come up with new stuff as long as it doesn’t grossly violate canon. Two Tubes was Tony Gilroy or maybe someone just before him
Allegedly Bib Fortuna’s cousin is in scene at catacombs
Someone wanted a Tusken Raider to leave Tatooine to be one of the rebels, but that was vetoed bc they don’t leave Tatooine
“you don’t want every star wars movie to feel like a remix of your greatest hits” - gary [me: LMAOOOO not everyone got that memo!!!]
Guardians of the Whills: Chris said when he came on board, he wanted to go into some deep George Lucas stuff so he looked at the OG screenplay of SW which is pretty “cuckoo bananas” but it’s unfilmable because it’s so gigantic. but there were so many cool things in it. Originally the Force was known as “The Force of Others" by Lucas so he had Chirrut often referring to it as such
There had to be physical tapes because that’s what was mentioned in ANH. Similarly, Tarkin said it was the first time they destroyed a planet in ANH, so they had to do a smaller test that didn’t conflict with canon but we still get to see the DS do it’s thing
Gary said he got sick of everyone on the internet saying “If the empire’s so smart how come--” so he wanted to make it happen for a reason
Chris said - John Knoll, who apparently has some kind of engineering background, said a project the size of the DS, there’d be hundreds of flaws that would bring down the station. Gary responded - it makes sense that there would be a flaw, but it’s more interesting if the flaw would be there deliberately
They went back to the idea that SW was a fairytale and “only one key that the lock fits in in a fairy tale”
They talked a bit about the “nerdy stuff” and technical details, like how fast does a Star Destroyer go, how fast is travel through hyperspace,” but they were pretty insistent that Star Destroyers go at the speed of narrative. Hyperspace moves at the speed of plot. They don’t think about the gritty details. Story always wins. You try to hide those bits. If tech stuff comes into conflict with story, the story has to win. If you can make it work great, but story should win otherwise. [MY TAKE: I think it’s lazy and you might as well try to make it work if you can, BUT I agree that it shouldn’t necessarily hang up the process, per se.]
They talked about Jyn & Co witnessing the test on Jedha and how it’s important that Jyn & Co witnessed the terrifying destructive power of this weapon, so they know better than anyone how important it is to stop this thing
They said Saw always died in the weapon test. Originally it was on a different moon, but always planned for him to die like that.
Gary mentioned in ANH, there’s more than one empty chair in the DS conference room, but Gary wished there had been only one chair so it could have been Krennic’s specifically and he wasn’t in it.
The idea was that Mothma and other Generals were desperately trying to avoid a war and trying to find a political solution to this crisis, but Palpatine is stringing them along long enough for the DS to be ready. So the Rebels have been strung along and played for fools by Palpatine, but once we realize the Empire has built a genocide weapon, the Rebels finally wake up to the idea that the only solution now is war. Empire has forced our hand. the movie is about the idea that tyrannical regimes always fall bc they go too far and they do something so terrible that people are forced to stand up and fight back. If the empire had never built the DS, Gary thinks they could have won the war and ground the Rebellion down. but bc they got greedy they forced the entire galaxy to take the war seriously, so the DS was really the Empire’s undoing
The Rebellion was like the equivalent of the Second Continental Congress, with squabbling factions and not able to get anything done, and the Empire was able to win in the beginning bc they are authoritarian, unified top down
Gary came up with Eadu, but it was originally in the first act. The whole movie got restructured. Originally they went to Eadu very early and discovered they were building the giant dish for the DS. That was the first scene that Jyn had the clue that the Empire was building something terrible. Later it became less a place where the dish was built and more just where they were harvesting and refining the kyber crystals.
It was originally Saw’s X-Wings that attacked Eadu
“rain = mood” idk who said it but that line popped
originally there were local people called Eadui who told story how facility had poisoned rivers and valleys and farmland. Gary wanted to put a face on the crimes the Empire had committed
Mads doesn’t believe that what Galen did absolves him
In Gary’s version, Krennic came to inspect final version of the dish
Cassian was always meant to be compromised in both Gary and Chris’s versions. He was a double agent: for a long time, he was working for the Empire. Chris added: he had lost people who had been killed by Saw Gerrera, and all he wanted from the Empire was the go ahead to kill Saw rather than Galen. That transmogrified along the lines post-Chris and post-Gary into a rebel intelligence officer who had done terrible things. In the original idea, he changes heart after seeing the Death Star bc it wasn’t what he signed up for, and he had to win back Jyn’s heart bc that DS reveal happens after his double agent ness is revealed.
In the original, Jyn actually gets Galen back to the rebel base, but he’s beyond saving, but his whole speech he gives Jyn in his last moments happened in a medbay
They talked about the score instead of the awesome fight scene after Eadu so BOOO on that. I mean yes the score is brilliant but still I wanted insight into this scene.
I blanked out a little because I was mad they didn’t talk about the Eadu fight scene argh
They were talking about Krennic standing his ground against Vader. and then someone said it was probably something among the Imperial officers that “you haven’t really made it until you’ve been choked by Vader.” O_o sorry we could be talking about Jyn and Cassian DAMNIT
the debate scene on Yavin 4 was recontextualized. always this idea that the rebellion is not one monolithic entity, it’s a collection of worlds all of whom have own leaders and own opinions. rebellion historically messier because it’s democratic and harder to get things done.
briefly toyed with a Leia appearance (chris) at the big conference scene, but best for Jyn to give the most rousing speech here.
Who wrote the hanger speech? Spirit of it might be Chris’, but Chris thinks it’s Tony Gilroy. Big difference from version Gary wrote: Jyn convinced the rebels. But he thought it was cool now that Jyn goes rogue and it’s only when Mothma finds out she’s committed to that that she makes the decision to back her up. But in the original she convinced Mothma, and everyone got around the table and said here’s the plan. Chris thinks it was in one of his drafts that they went off on their own.
in Gary’s version Jyn was Rogue Leader.
Chris had grunts complaining all the flyboys create dramatic names for their squadrons but that got nixed
Gary had idea that K-2 had scraped off his markings but had to have them painted back on to go to Scarif and K-2 hated it
Mothma talking to Bail is one scene that survived word for word form Gary’s original script
They talked a little bit about the decision to have the characters die, but I was drafting a question and missed it
They talked about how they came up with Scarif and decided to make it tropical -- what sort of place hasn’t been seen before? sort of coming from production and gareth. but also building these places to fulfill the needs of the story -- like building a walkway that only one person can get across
a lot of extras in Scarif were real ex-military, and Gary said a couple of the X-Wing pilots were real-life RAF tornado pilots
didn’t have Blue Squadron in the ANH bc it interfered with the blue screen
Gareth said “give me a mon calamari that looks like churchill’ and that’s Raddus
Chris and Tony killed pretty much everybody. Sounds like Gary just killed K-2? Unclear bc I missed the main part of that when they were talkinga bout it.
They commented on how RO is one of the darkest tonally movies but also so colorful, beautiful blue sky
They wanted to pay tribute to Battle of Endor
they couldn’t remember who was responsible for ‘stardust’ but it wasn’t gary or chris
who’s idea was it to cut off the “I’ve got a bad idea about this”? gary had a different version of it, Jyn said “I've got a good feeling about this” (which ultimately got used in Solo)
Someone asked about the footage in trailer that wasn’t in the movie: Chris heard on good authority that the TIE fighter in front of Jyn was actually never intended to be used, was always a trailer-specific moment. he said he didn’t know how she would have gotten out of that one. k-2 died on the beach. chris wasn’t sure but as the scenes get cut together in production and post, the narrative necessities can change bc of logistical needs. but some shots were so cool they were perfect for trailers. Some talk on how trailers and movies are very different things in general.
Gary said originally there were two separate facilities on Scarif: vault and comm tower were separated by stretch of beach. so needed to liberate plans from vault and get across beach to tower. as they looked at what they had, there were too many moving parts and they wanted to simplify, so they put vault and tower in same complex.
did they ever consider letting Chirrut pull the lever using the force? NOPE.
“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me” was Chris. it goes on, it’s supposed to be like a psalm for Jedi, but eh wanted a sort of lord’s prayer type of thing.
HELL YES someone asked about the romance between Cassian and Jyn! Was there any romantic potential in any script? YES!!! they said!! yes!!! And Chris said he wouldn’t be surprised if a kiss was shot either!
BUT they went on to say they wanted to side-step the trope that every male and female hero have to be involved.
But clear GARY said yes early on, there was definitely romantic chemistry that got scaled back to a mutual respect, but they’ve obviously grown close. Gary doesn’t think there was anything romantic and they said people found that refreshing. ‘what they’ve been through is the meaningful part” and “‘the stuff that is happening around them is too important" and “it speaks to their character that they wouldn’t let that intrude”
someone said it was like they were walking into a sunset but it was a mushroom cloud and THEN someone QUIPPED that it was sorta like the sunset walking into them RUDE
There was more after that but that was pretty exhausting to keep up with!!!! so i’m wiped. anyone else get any fun takeaways that I missed?
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Long Way From Home: Chapter 4
Fandom: Thunderbirds
Rating: Teen
Genre: Family/Friendship
Characters: Scott, Tracy Family
Time to start really playing in one of my favourite things about writing this fic: the differences! I’m far too interested in things like this, and for the sake of the story (aka torturing Scott) I am emphasising and exaggerating as many differences as I can between the two canons, whether they be in relationships, technology or society, because quite frankly I love this sandbox. As my sister told me when I gushed about this fic to her, my inner scientist and academic has taken to this with glee a la “compare and contrast the differences in [xyz] between TOS and TAG”. There will be a lot of this to come.
<<<Chapter 3
“What is that projecting onto?” Scott jumped, looking up at the cliff above him. Other-Scott was perched there, regarding his comm unit curiously. “Brains was right; your technology really is nothing like ours.”
“Not that it’s doing me any good here,” Scott groused, swiping through the symbol to extinguish it. “Stupid thing can’t even connect to your Thunderbird Five.”
“You want to talk to John?” Other-Scott sounded surprised, but dropped off the ledge to join him in the hollow.
“My John,” Scott corrected, letting his arm drop to his side. “But I thought my gear would at least link into your network.”
“Network?” Other-Scott asked. “We have a network of agents that work for us, but what do you mean about your gear linking into that?”
Scott gaped at him.
“Not that sort of network,” he said. “The communications one.” Other-Scott still looked blank, and Scott facepalmed. “You don’t have one. Of course, different technology. Really different technology.”
Other-Scott frowned at him thoughtfully, before unbuckling his watch and offering it. It was Scott’s turn to look blank.
“It won’t reach another universe,” Other-Scott said, apologetically. “But if you need to talk to our Thunderbird Five, this will work.” Scott took it carefully, turning it over in his hands. It looked like a normal, antique watch, but having seen Other-Brains’ watch transform into a video link, Scott knew there had to be more to it than that.
“How does it work?” he asked after a moment, eyeing the various buttons on the side. Other-Scott held out his hand for it back and Scott obliged.
“It’s set to Thunderbird Five’s frequency,” he started, “but it can be changed to any other communicator, Thunderbird, Pod vehicle, Mobile Control or Base by adjusting the frequency with this dial.” He twisted the one on the furthest left, and the clock face vanished, to be replaced with a string of numbers. A burst of static erupted from it. “Or you can tune into a radio station, but Dad doesn’t like us doing that.” He turned the knob back to where it was, and the numbers flashed in time with a dial tone. A quick press of the furthest right knob and it stopped, restoring the watch face. “That starts and stops transmission,” he explained. “The middle dial controls the time; after all, it is also a functioning watch.” He handed it back and Scott looked it over again, lightly tapping the three knobs thoughtfully. “You can borrow it if you want, but it does have a location transmitter installed, which Dad can access whenever he wants.”
Scott was grateful for the warning. He had no intention of dealing with Not-Dad again any time soon, well aware that it would be explosive. Still, a communicator, even if it couldn’t connect to where he really wanted it to, was an offering he couldn’t bring himself to decline.
A light on the face started to flash lilac, and Other-Scott winced.
“Whoops,” he muttered, taking the watch back out of Scott’s hand. “John must have noticed that I contacted Thunderbird Five,” he explained. “Lilac means John,” he continued. “Yellow is Virgil, white is Alan, orange is Gordon, brown is Brains and gold is Dad.”
Scott sighed. “You couldn’t at least use the same colours?” he muttered. Other-Scott shot him a questioning look even as he answered his brother’s call.
“Hi, Scott,” the blond man greeted. “You called?”
“Just showing Scott our communicators,” Other-Scott explained. “His doesn’t work here; the technology must be too different.”
“It looked it, from what Brains showed me,” Other-John agreed. “Is he still with you?”
“I’m here,” Scott said, cutting off whatever Other-Scott was about to say. He leaned in. “Any sign of them?”
“Oh, hi there,” Other-John said. “No, none of my new parameters have caught anything. I’ll keep an ear out, but it’s seeming more and more likely that you’re the only one to have fallen through.” Some of the tension seemed out of Scott’s shoulders.
“I hope so,” he agreed, settling back in the hollow again. “What can you tell me about this multiverse theory?” Other-Scott passed the watch back to him.
“I’ll go keep the other fellas away,” he interjected before Other-John could start talking. “Talk to you later, John.”
“Bye, Scott,” Other-John acknowledged, before turning his attention back to Scott as Other-Scott slipped away. “Well, Scott, the easiest way to describe it is to imagine a big glass box full of water. Inside the box of water, there are some objects floating around. Most of the time they don’t touch, but occasionally you get a collision between two of them. What actually happens during those collisions is unknown; until you appeared, there’s been no proof to support the theory at all. Not,” he added hurriedly, “that Brains or I have any intention of revealing your existence. We’d rather see you get home than be reduced to a lab rat.”
“I appreciate that,” Scott said dryly. “Except I’m going to have to play the part of one for you and your Brains anyway.”
“Well, that’s true,” Other-John admitted. “The chances of an identical collision reversing the effects naturally is astronomically slim, so getting you home will require us to somehow force a similar situation. However, we’ll be sure to remain humane and focused on returning you home before any other research.”
Scott chuckled. “If your Brains is anything like mine, he’ll be doing it simultaneously. As long as it gets me home, I don’t care.”
Other-John let slip a small smile of his own before frowning. “You realise that this is an entirely new division of research. It very well might be years.” Scott was trying not to think about that too hard.
“In that case, what are we waiting for?” he asked, clambering to his feet to find Other-Brains.
“Brains has already started,” Other-John informed him. “He’s gathering what data he can find from where you were found in Thunderbird One’s hangar, and the anomaly in your DNA from the sample he already took. I suspect you don’t want to hear this, but interrupting him will only slow him down. He’ll find you when he needs you.”
Their voices were different, but Scott could easily imagine John – his John – saying much the same thing.
“You really are like him,” he said, sitting back down. Privately he was relieved he didn’t need to go back to the villa; after his outburst in Thunderbird One’s hangar, he was determined to avoid the family for as long as possible.
“Like who?” Other-John asked, even though the fact that he knew exactly who Scott was talking about was written all over his face. Scott told him as much.
“You know,” he accused.
“I’m as much like him as you are like Scott,” Other-John pointed out. “As the two of you are twins in personality just as much as appearance, barring the effects from different life events, it follows that the same would be true for myself and your John.”
Different life events. It was the closest either Other-Scott or Other-John had come to acknowledging his outburst.
“You haven’t asked about it,” he observed. Other-John shrugged.
“Would you tell me if I did?”
“No,” was Scott’s immediate reaction, although there was a part of him that wondered if he would, if the right questions were asked. No, better not to go there. He’d ripped the wound far enough open already; there was no need to worsen it further.
“I do try not to waste my breath,” Other-John responded. “I meant it when I said you’re just like my Scott.”
Scott thought back to the hangar, and Other-Scott’s reaction to Not-Dad’s anger.
“Am I?” he asked. He couldn’t imagine ever being contrite like that.
“You attacked each other because you thought the other was a threat to your brothers,” Other-John pointed out. “Whatever you’ve both been through, your priorities are the same. Or are you going to tell me I’m wrong?” Scott met his eyes steadily.
“You know the answer to that.”
“Sometimes it’s nice to hear someone admit I’m right,” Other-John shrugged with a grin, before he turned away suddenly. “International Rescue here. What’s the problem?”
He didn’t cut the connection, and Scott didn’t either, listening to a garbled panic in the background, which Other-John responded to with calm, measured words for a few moments before turning back to Scott. Before Scott could ask, instincts screaming for him to get to Thunderbird One and launch, the blond man pressed a finger to his lips.
“There’s a distress call from a power plant, Father,” he said after a moment, finger back down out of sight. He must have connected to the villa to relay the information, without breaking Scott’s own line. “Temperature is rising fast and the blast doors have slammed shut, trapping two workers inside. Local services won’t be able to get them out in time.”
Scott couldn’t hear whatever Not-Dad had to say in return. Whether that was intentional on Other-John’s part or a happy accident he wasn’t quite sure – if it was his John he’d know it was intentional, but he didn’t know what this universe’s technology was capable of, although he supposed if anyone could bring the most out of it, it would be John’s counterpart – but he was glad. He couldn’t quite reconcile the man against his memories of his own father, and it was bringing up too many unwelcome thoughts that he didn’t care for.
“Thunderbird One’s about to launch,” Other-John said after a period of silence. Scott peered around the rock to take a better look at the villa below, and was unsurprised to see the swimming pool retracting. It was weird to actually witness it for once – no-one else ever piloted One if he had any say in the matter, and he didn’t recall the last time he’d seen the launch process. A roar of engines – similar but not the same as his own ‘bird’s cry – and the sleek shape of International Rescue’s first response craft soared into the sky. It was a breath-taking sight, even though he was mentally cataloguing all the subtle differences in the moment he had before she was gone, smashing through the sound barrier effortlessly.
It was a whole different way to appreciate her speed.
“What’s her top speed?” he asked. Other-John made a curious noise.
“What do you think?” he asked, and Scott sighed, pulling his eyes away from where she’d last been visible to look back at the blond man, whose attempt at fishing for information on his own Thunderbird was far from subtle.
“Mach 19,” he said. “Officially.”
“And unofficially?” Other-John probed. Scott shrugged.
“Never pushed her to see,” he admitted. The airspeed record was his Dad’s, and he had no intention of breaking it. If there was any craft that could, surpassing the TV-21, it would be Thunderbird One, but he didn’t want to. It was a piece of his father he couldn’t bring himself to overwrite. “Mach 20.”
“Mach 19.6,” Other-John said. “Thunderbird Two’s preparing to launch. Virgil and Alan are taking Pod Three with the DOMO and Mole.”
“Alan?” Scott couldn’t hold back his surprise. “Not Gordon? And Pod Three? Domo? Mole?” One sentence on a subject he should know better than the back of his hand – did know better, back at home – told him that while Thunderbird One appeared largely the same, there were clearly fundamental differences in their main gear.
“You’d have chosen Gordon instead?” Other-John asked. He was probing for more information because of course he was. Any John would be a sponge for information, leeching it from whatever sources he could.
“Of course,” Scott replied, giving him the information because if there was one person in this universe that needed to know, it was the monitor on board Thunderbird Five, listening out for signs of his brothers. “Alan’s just a kid. Gordon’s more experienced and doesn’t have homework to do.”
“So your Gordon… is up for it?” Other-John asked, fishing around further. “And Alan – homework?”
“Why wouldn’t he-” Scott cut himself off as a deeper rumble presumably signalled the other Thunderbird’s take-off, out of sight. “You don’t have hydrofoils here, do you?” he asked suspiciously. Other-John’s face fell.
“I was hoping there were more differences in life experiences,” he admitted. “Gordon’s back will never heal properly. Dad only sends him if Thunderbird Four is needed, or all hands are.”
“And he hasn’t driven him mad?” Scott asked, disbelieving. “Gordon would murder me slowly and creatively if I kept him grounded like that.” Not-Dad’s temper and fury at being addressed as an equal rather than a superior came back to him and he frowned.
“If you kept him grounded like that?” Other-John’s fishing couldn’t get any more blatant, and Scott glared at him.
“Stop asking questions you know the answer to,” he snapped. Other-John held his hands up in mock-surrender. An object on a cord was in one of his hands, Scott noticed. It looked like an ancient microphone.
“I don’t know the answer,” he defended himself. “I have suppositions and ideas, but not answers. I can’t actually read minds, you know.” Scott slumped back into his hollow and rubbed a hand over his face again.
“Yes, my Dad is gone. Yes, that means I’m in charge of International Rescue. Yes, that means I’m CEO of Tracy Industries,” he bit out. “And yes, that means I’m the legal guardian of my fifteen year old kid brother who should be worrying about school and not launching a damn rocket into space several times a week!”
The watch was silent. Scott adamantly refused to look at it, to see what face Other-John was wearing – or if he’d hung up.
“No wonder you clashed with Dad.” Evidently Other-John hadn’t done the latter. “Scott’s just arriving at the danger zone, so Dad should be in the office at the moment. Normally I’d say Gordon would be with him, but I know you’ve got him curious. Scott grabbed his spare watch, and I don’t think Dad’s realised yet, but Gordon’s crafty enough to notice that sort of thing.”
“You think he’s looking for me?” he asked, reluctantly looking back at the watch. Other-John shrugged.
“Unlikely,” he said. “He knows better than to chase Scott when he’s in a mood. More likely, he’s lying in wait for when you decide to return.” Scott groaned. Other-Gordon had been the quietest so far, and a quiet Gordon meant warning signs. Amber eyes had been watching him, though, scrutinising him perhaps the most closely of all the Other-Tracys, and part of Scott had been waiting for it to come to a head. Apparently that time was now.
“My John knows how to keep his mouth shut,” he said. Other-John chuckled.
“I do, too,” he promised. “They won’t hear anything from me unless they have to.”
“They won’t have to,” Scott growled, looking down at the watch as he tapped at his own communicator uselessly. The red no signal symbol greeted him and he swiped it away angrily. “Does this thing have map capabilities?” he asked. “The entrances to One and Two are the same, but the house itself is nothing like home.”
“Not Three?” Other-John sounded surprised. “Odd that not all of them are the same.”
“Odd that your Four doesn’t even have her own entrance,” Scott retorted, although now he knew more about Other-Gordon – or specifically, that they were treating him like he was made of glass – he could see why. What sort of family dynamic they had that Other-Gordon hadn’t driven them all totally insane in revenge was one he wasn’t too fond of contemplating.
“Thunderbird Four lives in Pod Four,” Other-John said, sounding slightly confused. “Why does she need her own entrance?”
Pod Four? And earlier, Other-John had said Pod Three was carrying a Domo and a Mole.
“You call Thunderbird Two’s modules pods,” he realised. Other-John blinked at him.
“Say,” he said, curiously. Scott sensed another not so subtle probing on the way. “You heard the briefing I gave Father. What would you have done? If you were with your own technology, I mean?”
“Thunderbird One and Two,” he said, not even having to think about it. “Gordon with Virgil, taking Module Two. Keep up to date information through Thunderbird Five and assess the situation upon arrival. Configure the PODs as required once Two arrives and get those people out. Get John on finding out how it happened and who was responsible.” Kayo, Lady Penelope and Parker, too.
“You think it’s sabotage?” Other-John asked, surprised. Scott shook his head.
“Accidents are usually caused by cutting corners,” he said, jaw locking. “Imbeciles who can’t observe safety regulations are a danger to everyone.”
“You’d shut them down?” Other-John sounded astonished. “Your International Rescue has that sort of authority?” Scott scoffed.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “We don’t have that authority and we don’t want it. There’s enough paperwork already.” Urgh, the paperwork. Who would be doing that while he was gone, or would it just be piling up in neglect? “We just give tip offs to the GDF and they handle it.”
“The GDF?” Other-John queried. Scott decided to secure the watch to his wrist before he dropped it.
“Is nothing the same here?” he groused. “Global Defence Force. The World Government’s military organisation.”
“International Rescue exists,” Other-John reminded him, and he sighed.
“No good to me when your tech is basically alien,” he pointed out, adopting Alan’s – and apparently Other-Alan’s - default. “This watch is analogue.”
“Analogue?” Other-John asked, frowning. Scott stared at him.
“Round dial of numbers?” he explained hesitantly.
“Well, yes. What else would it be?” Other-John queried, as though the idea of any other type of watch was bizarre.
“Digital?” Scott offered. Other-John’s face went blank, again, and he buried his face in his hands. “You’re kidding.”
“You have a name for ours, so it’s not entirely… alien,” Other-John pointed out, clearly as enamoured with the idea of aliens as his John.
“It’s ancient, is what it is,” he grumbled. “We stopped using analogue clocks half a century ago. I don’t even know how to read the things!” Virgil did, and John of course devoured anything related to communications, but Scott himself had never paid attention when Grandma had tried to show him on her own grandfather’s ancient watch; he’d been busy with other things, like raising four younger brothers.
“Half a century?” Other-John asked. “Is your tech different because it’s futuristic?” Scott shook his head.
“I don’t think so.” He tapped at the watch absent-mindedly. “I’m trained in a lot of old tech, because not everywhere is at the forefront of technology, but I’ve never seen anything like this stuff.”
“We’ll just have to train you up, then,” Other-John said. “The fellas won’t mind.”
Scott could think of one man who seemed like he would.
“You never said if you could show me a map of the place,” he said instead. “I need some shoes.” The island was tropical, but that didn’t stop the dirt congealing on the soles of his feet from feeling decidedly uncomfortable.
“You’re planning on raiding Scott’s?” Other-John sounded amused. Scott thought he might be. John would have been.
“Some other clothes, too,” he admitted, and Other-John laughed.
“I don’t have a map that labels the rooms,” he said. “But here-” His face disappeared and was replaced with a very basic, black and white map of the villa. In the small watch face, it looked very cramped. In one of the rooms, a blue light started flashing. “That’s Scott’s room.” Scott squinted at it.
“Can’t you make it bigger?” he complained.
“Not if you want to see how to get there,” Other-John told him and he groaned.
“You don’t have zoom and scroll?”
“Not on the watches.” Scott was starting to feel lucky that was even an option on any device. Maybe this stuff wasn’t out of his history lessons, but it felt far behind the technology he was used to. He poked at his own communicator again, and snarled at it when it merrily presented him with the red no signal declaration again.
“You okay?” Other-John asked. His face was still hidden by the map, but he sounded concerned.
“Fine,” he growled. “Stupid thing.”
“If you say so.” Scott got the feeling he didn’t believe him.
Well, for the moment he had a plan. Get back to the infirmary, navigate his way through the villa to Other-Scott’s room, and find something that wasn’t pyjamas to wear.
“Keep me updated,” he ordered, and got an acknowledging F.A.B before the line cut. At least, he assumed it had. He didn’t know the technology well enough to confirm it, but it didn’t matter either way. Letting his wrist fall, he pushed himself to his feet and began the climb back down to the villa.
Chapter 5>>>
#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds are go fanfiction#thunderbirds#thunderbirds fanfiction#tsari writes fanfiction#scott tracy#john tracy#long way from home
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Pretty Boy ch.1
“Come on, Girl.”
If you asked Ben Pincus-Masrani to describe himself, he would respond that he was thin, pale, not very extraordinary. Not even normal. Forgettable wallflower was he.
And he liked it that way.
He smiled down at his little corgi with her extra stubby tail.
Bad tail docking and a “defected ear” had made her less valuable to her owner, but more loveable to him. He remembered when his stepfather had told him about one of his business associates giving her away. Ben had cooed at her picture and the very next day, Simon had acquired her.
She was a year old now, her tail a little bump and left ear still folded halfway down. He knew it could pop up one day or stay folded over.
He’d love her as is.
She had been his constant companion since he had started University last year.
Bumpy wore little green and white booties and a matching vest for her leash, excitedly sniffing at whatever she found on the pavement of the city street they walked down. Ben smiled at her as she waved her whole back half, barking at a dandelion that broke through the sidewalk.
He thought yellow would be cute on her. It was quickly approaching autumn and he was due to buy her some more little jackets and boots.
Ben groaned as they passed an overfilled dumpster in a large open alley, the smell of spoiled milk making him gag. Bumpy led him away, as if sensing his discomfort.
He made his way to a one story building, Bumpy jumping up the steps one at a time to join him by the wood and glass door. He opened the door for her and she excitedly waddled in, sitting by the counter as an old Latino man with his grey and black hair in a ponytail came over.
“Hey, Santi.” Ben said.
“Morning, Benito.” He said with a smile. “Morning, Bumpy.”
Bumpy barked and stood, her hips waving back in forth excitedly.
Santi’s husband poked his head out, curly blond hair held back by a headband and his glasses a little smudged.
“Oh, Ben! You just missed Sammy.” He said.
“Billy Brennan-Gutierrez.” Santi scolded playfully. “Sammy said he changed his shift. Twice, remember?”
“Right!” He said. “Sorry, Honey. Must’ve been distracted by that new exhibit Alan promised to invite us to.”
Santi rolled his eyes good naturedly and smiled at Ben. “This man.”
“It’s fine. Dad was getting ready to fly over to New York for some party, so I was video chatting with him and totally forgot to text her on the bus.”
“Bus?” Billy asked, walking to the counter. “How did you like it?”
“I took the green line.” Ben said. “More…clean.”
“Ah. The public access line your father is funding?” Santi said. “It’s been an amazing help around the community. City planning is really a gift.”
“Yeah. Dad cares more about customer satisfaction. He even asked if the animals at the zoo were happy.” Ben said as Billy laughed. “And right now I know he’s gonna charm new investors.”
“I get it. It’s always go, go, go.” Santi said. “Billy and I will take care of your pretty girl. Go on to work.”
Ben kneeled and kissed his dog on her forehead. She wigged and liked his cheek.
“Bye, Bumpy. I’ll come get you later, okay?” He said and gave her leash to Santi.
He waved as he walked out and set out to a nearby bus stop with a green leaf, taking a breath as he looked at a message from his parents saying they arrived safely, his mother resting in the hotel room and his father already in a meeting.
“You got this, Dad.” He text back.
*
Brew-tiful Roast was the only refurbished building not owned by the college but funded independently by several of the first alumni and John Hammond himself. It was a brick and glass building with a brick and iron barred wall around it, where a garden area and several outdoor tables with wooden benches under a thick iron and heavy waterproof tarp Professor Carr of the physics department had donated almost a decade ago. Several other alumni donated money to modernize the area for student comfort and relaxation when the library and cafeteria were too much stimulation.
The inside was open with many well spaced tables, cushioned booths and a back wall lined with tinted muffled noise square privacy pods in the back. Many plants and flowers decorated tables, soft slow blinking white and blue LED lights showing where charging stations were and orb shaped hanging lamps that lit the café up.
Finally was a large refrigerated black glass top counter and display where many sandwiches, pastries, packs of baked chips and crackers, packaged fruit and several salads were displayed along with bottled lemonade, teas, sodas and waters that were always sold at a quarter. They could be taken to the counter and warmed after they were bought or warmed in one of the three communal microwaves.
“One banana avocado smoothie with fiber and whey!” Sammy called, smiling as she handed back change.
Ben’s finger and hands flew over the ingredients as he chopped, scooped and mixed the fruit before throwing it into a clean blender with ice and cold cream, and letting it run. Mixing it a final time, he poured the cold thick mixture in large cup with a star drawn on by Sammy. He put it on the counter where a young Latina woman with large glasses waited.
“No whip, just how you like.” He said with a smile.
“Thanks Benji.” She said with a wink.
Her best friend, Franklyn smiled nervously from next to her.
“What brings you to the front?” He asked as Zia sipped her smoothie with a pleased hum. “I thought you didn’t like being up here where there are so many—too many in fact, people.”
“Professor Malcom said it’d be best for me to get a few months exposed to more people.” He said and mixed caramel into Franklyn’s sugar free French vanilla ice coffee. “So I got low traffic shifts after morning classes.”
“How’s going clean treating you?” Zia asked, eyes softening on her younger classmate.
“Ah…” He looked to the side. “Got a bit of a no sleeping issue some nights, but hey. More time to think up new smoothies and teas.”
“You are aware this is Brew-Tiful Roast.” Zia asked with a smile. “As in, coffee?”
“Good thing Mr. Van Owen and Gray love it. Plus,” He smiled and put a hand to his hip in pride. “Yours truly has helped increase sells with my smoothies and tea mixes.”
“Way to go, Plant Nerd.” Zia said and slipped a five in his pocket. “For Bumpy. Get her some of those yummy carob biscuits.”
Ben handed Franklyn his cup. “Thanks. But you know I’m fine for money. With Dad and everything, honestly, this is just so I...”
Franklyn nodded. “We get it, Ben. Normalcy is…admirable.”
“Besides. I get to use my earnings to get my own place. With my own money.” He said excitedly.
Franklyn’s watch beeped. “Oh, shoot! I got to get to my Mathematical Theory class. Professor Murphy invited Ian Malcom today!”
“Get me an autograph?”
“He’s got five of the same damn book in his bag. We’ll get ya one, Benji.” Zia said with a sigh. “If you need anything—”
“I’m okay, Zia.” Ben said. “But thanks.”
She smiled as Franklyn sped out with a wave.
“Man, seems like forever since she took you under her wing.” Sammy said as the line slowed, leaving only a few people at tables typing away at laptops or talking among themselves.
“Yeah. Both Malcoms at Hammond University. Bet you he’ll crash Professor Malcom’s class.”
“He’s a Dad.” Sammy giggled as she wiped down the counter. “He kinda has an obligation to check in.”
As if on cue, her phone vibrated and she smiled at a picture of Bumpy sleeping on her back, showing it to Ben.
“Aw~” He cooed. “Send it?”
“Already done.” She giggled.
The door chimed and Sammy smiled at the newcomers before her face fell.
“Hi Darius. Kenji.” She said.
“Hey, Sammy. Got anything good today?” Darius, a paleo-researcher and Sammy’s classmate in zoological studies said.
“I got donuts.” She said. “And chicken pesto sandwiches.”
“I’ll take two of each.” Darius said as his taller Asian friend sauntered over to Ben.
“Huh, never seen you around here, Pretty Boy.” He said.
Ben looked up and froze.
Tall, tan, muscular and very, oh so very handsome.
Ben could feel his cheeks heating. “Um, what?”
Sammy’s hands came on his shoulders and pulled him a bit away from Kenji.
“Ben here usually works in the back.”
“That’s a shame. I guess you’re why this place is called Brew-tiful.” He said with a wink.
“Ben.” Sammy said. “Can you do me a favor and get more cups before the lunch rush?”
“Oh.” Ben said, snapping out of his trance. “Sure.”
*
As soon as Ben went through the kitchen door, Sammy slammed a hand down on the counter.
“No.” She said sternly.
“What?” Kenji asked.
“Brooklynn told me what happened with your last three girlfriends and boyfriend. All in a week!” She hissed.
“What?” Kenji asked. “There wasn’t a connection.”
“Here’s a connection. Don’t just date people cause their cute!” Sammy said.
Darius looked between the two.
“Kenji. Come on, Man. Ben looks…fragile.” He said.
“He works in a coffee shop, Darius. You gotta be pretty tough to work in food service.”
“Kenji.” Sammy said. “Not Ben.”
Before Kenji could respond, his phone rang. He looked at his phone and sighed.
“I’ll be back another time.” He said. “Looks like Dad needs to see me in person.”
“I’ll get back okay.” Darius said. “You go ahead.”
Kenji took the bag Sammy held out, slipping a $20 on the counter.
“Tell Ben I said bye.”
“No.” Sammy said with a deadpanned expression.
Kenji saw Ben look through the door of the kitchen window. He smirked and winked at him, enjoying how Ben ducked his head and reddened.
Kenji left and got into his car, sitting for a moment to watch Ben come out and shake hands with Darius.
“Damn. He really is pretty.” He said as he started the engine, big pine green eyes haunting his thoughts as he drove home.
-------
feat. from JP - Ian Malcolm, Tim Murphy and John Hammond
JP2 - Kelly Malcom, Eddie Carr and Nick Van Owen
JP3 - Billy Brennan
JW- Zia, Franklyn and Gray
Love me some side characters. Thanks for reading!
Stay Sweet~
#jw benji#ben pincus#kenji kon#jw bumpy#sammy gutierrez#darius bowman#jw brooklynn#yaz fadoula#jurassic world camp cretaceous#camp cretaceous#jw fanfic#jwcc#camp cretaceous pretty boy#camp cretaceous fanfic
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The Ballads of Rebirth (Arthur Morgan x Reader)
Chapter 15: Full Circle
Summary: The big day. All rejoice!
Masterlist
Tag list: @rollyjogerjones
I still can’t add a read more tab on mobile.. sorry about that :/
A/N: Sorry for my long hiatus, not been super motivated lately so I made this chapter extra long for you guys! Longer than any thing I’ve written before (!!).I promise I sort have been doing productive things.. I guess. Listening to music (Hozier, Lord Huron, Gregory Alan Isakov and the Oh Hello’s are what got this chapter done), playing fallout 76 (I know), working, schoolwork, planning other fics (I have a big announcement coming up!!!)
IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: I wanted to clear some things up in terms of plot hole. My dumbass mistakenly has said that Reader has been in the gang for 15 years, not true - it’s been around 10, but a little less than John (like 3 ish months after him). I have also previously said that John and Reader joined the gang together, again, not true but I already fixed it. Reader joined the gang after John after Arthur saved her from the gang who kidnapped her. Hope this wasn’t too confusing.
As for the ending... yeah.. next chapter, and then epilogue. Not sure that many of you will stay around for the AU - which will be posted SEPARATE, after you read the actual ending >:3c Anyways, here we go.
This is all supposed to be italicized.. it’s italicized on wattpad and ao3, just tumblr decided to be a bitch and not transfer it that way and I’m too lazy to change each paragraph to italics.. so let’s just pretend it is.
•••
Shady Belle was an interesting place for a wedding, it seemed. You had been ushered away from Arthur in the morning, and carted away to Saint Denis with the rest of the women, claiming Shady Belle would be too chaotic to get ready in, which really meant they didn’t want you to get ready with the men around. They had raided your room when the sun rose, waking Arthur too. You were barely able to kiss him goodbye, they carted you out of the room that fast. You wanted to lie next to him all morning, enveloped in his warmth, but your friends had different plans.
Saint Denis was such a difference compared to Chicago, the city you grew up in. You were an orphan living in the cold streets, just barely getting by. You worked in a textile factory for as long as you could remember. You lived in a cheap, one bedroom apartment, before that you simply slept in alleyways with other orphans, huddling by fires. You were uneducated, poor, and always hungry. A man kidnapped you on your way home from work one late evening, and the next thing you knew you were in a cabin in the desert, surrounded by men with guns and a nasty look on their face. Arthur was your savior, Dutch was your teacher, John was your brother, Abigail was your sister, Hosea was your father and the Van der Linde gang was your family.
But that was a long time now. Your wedding was merely hours away.
Arthur was nervous about the whole thing, he didn’t want to make a big deal out of the wedding but Dutch decided otherwise. Dutch thought a wedding was exactly what the entire gang needed, to boost everyone’s morals he had told you. You were beyond nervous for your big day, but with Arthur by your side, the impossible became possible.
Miss Grimshaw was the head of it all, the mastermind of the party. She set everything on a strict schedule, where everyone needed to be and when. She was a godsend during this time, otherwise the wedding would no doubt end up in a shed with you wearing a white sheet as a wedding dress.
Mary Beth was absolutely bouncing off the walls at the idea of a wedding, she thought it was incredibly romantic — two outlaws falling in love. It was something out of those novels she adores.
Saint Denis was hot, humid, and made you feel sticky with sweat. It didn’t help you would be wearing a heavy dress later that day either, but you didn’t mind. Nothing could or would bring you down today.
The first stop to your magical day was the salon. You got your hair trimmed and styled, as well as some makeup, keeping it simple. A few of the other women got their hair done as well. They all looked beautiful. The women could not hide their excitement for you, even a few patrons of the salon came up and congratulated you. Their talk seemingly echoed off the walls.
Abigail put the hair clip in your styled hair, it was a beautiful piece, elegant and dazzling. It was gold with a large pearl at the top and smaller jewels surrounding it. It matched your locket perfectly. Arthur had bought the hair clip for you a few days before.
When you were ready to leave the salon, it was time for the dress store, where you had left the dress. You didn’t want Arthur to see it, and it would no doubt get soiled at Shady Belle. Some of the other women had bought new dresses for the special occasion as well.
You picked it up from the counter, and walked over to the dressing room. All the women sat down on the benches outside of the dressing room, waiting for the big reveal. A few of them had already seen it, as they had gone with you when you picked it out, but none of them had seen you in your full wedding attire.
When you slipped it on over your undergarments you felt like you were floating on a cloud. You were absolutely beautiful. You felt like you could conquer the world in the dress. It was incredibly pretty, it had a loose layered bodice, with lace woven in, long ruffled sleeves and an a-line skirt. You felt your heart strings pull at the mere sight of it, you wondered what Arthur would think of it.
You slowly pushed the door open, hearing your loud heartbeat in your ears. You heard a wave of audible gasps, and then a few squeals, you eyed your white heels nervously, hesitantly looking up at all their faces.
They were all smiling, a few covering their mouths in joy.
“You look so pretty!” Tilly shouted, the rest of the women agreed. You smiled shyly, doing a small twirl.
“I really like the dress,” You said, feeling the cloth sway with you.
“I’d be surprised if Arthur didn’t drop dead the moment he sees you,” Mary Beth said playfully.
“Do you really think so?” You questioned.
“Of course. The man will have a heart attack right there, on the altar,” Molly responded.
You giggled, “I don’t want that to happen!”
“You look so beautiful,” Mary Beth repeated. You nodded her head at her, a smile on your lips.
“I’m so nervous though,” You confessed, sitting down next to Miss Grimshaw. You gripped the edge of the wooden bench, hoping to calm your nerves.
“It’s normal to be nervous, if you aren’t, there’s something wrong.” Sadie was the only married one in the gang, you trusted her advice.
“What if something goes wrong?”
“Nothing will be going wrong today, everyone is going to make sure nothing bad happens,” Abigail reassured you.
“Are you sure? I mean what if Arthur suddenly gets cold feet? What if O’Driscolls raid our camp?”
“If the O’Driscolls try to mess up your day, they’ll have to get through me,” Sadie said rather determinedly, a strange glint in her eye. You would not want to be an O’Driscoll when Sadie Adler was around, or an O’Driscoll in general for that matter.
“Arthur would never turn his back on you. We all see the way he looks at you,” Mary Beth said, a noise of agreement was heard. Mary Beth was right, Arthur would never turn his back on you, you were sure of it.
“Arthur and you do make a handsome couple. I can tell you’re really in love,” Molly responded.
“Thank you, Molly.” You smiled at her.
“We best be getting going, we wouldn’t want her to miss her big day,” Karen reminded everyone. It was getting late after all, there were still some things to do before the ceremony, such as making sure all the men were getting ready instead of getting drunk off their asses. Luckily, most of the preparations were done the night before, but there were still some finishing touches required.
Everyone fretted for you and Arthur to simply sit back and let everyone get your wedding prepared for you. You were wary of coming off as lazy at first, but the gang assured you it was your turn to sit back and relax, after all weddings were supposed to be happy and stress free. So you let everyone pitch in, even Uncle helped.
“Let’s head back then. The bouquet still needs the ribbons in it, we need to make sure dinner is being prepared-” Miss Grimshaw already began barking orders, Karen and Tilly both groaned. Everyone began to get up, gathering all their belongings.
“And you, Miss Morgan, we need you to head inside immediately once we arrive, we can’t have your dress get dirty,” Miss Grimshaw told you as you walked through the streets to get to the wagons.
“And don’t let Arthur see you, it’s bad luck, you know,” Sadie's voice rang out from behind you.
“I know!”
•••
When the rowdy wagons finally came to a stop in front of Shady Belle, you were immediately taken up to Abigail’s room. She shielded you from the eyes of the men, rushing you up the staircase. Abigail and Sadie were not taking the superstitions lightly it seemed. She kicked John out of the room, but Jack was allowed to stay.
You walked over to the window, Abigail sat down on the rickety bed. You slowly pushed the curtains out of the way, looking down to the ground below. Dutch was giving a speech it seemed, Arthur next to him. Your breath was almost stolen from you the moment you laid eyes on him, he was so incredibly handsome. He wasn’t dressed yet, you were glad you hadn’t spotted him in his suit. He was standing proud next to Dutch, Hosea on the other side of him. You watched them for awhile, before letting the curtains fall back into place.
“Are you ever going to have a wedding with John?” You turned to Abigail as she brushed her hair on the bed.
Abigail gave you a look,“Knowing John, probably not.”
You chuckled lightly, “Well, if you ever do, I want to be there.”
“You’ll be the first invited,” She responded. You took the brush from her hands and slowly began getting rid of all the knots in her hair. You shifted behind her, making sure to not crease your dress.
“I still can’t believe you two are getting married. I remember when I caught you two kissing behind that wagon,” She laughed, remembering the awkward moment.
“He was drunk off his ass and I was too. It wasn’t much of a kiss, more like we were eating eachothers face.”
“Yeah but, it was still a kiss, right?”
“I guess it was our first kiss. But our first sweet kiss was the day after when he officially asked me out,” You sighed sweetly.
“John was horrified. I still remember the look on his face when you both arrived back in camp holding hands,” Abigail laughed.
“Hosea always knew. Dutch knew too. We were ogling each other for so long, it was kinda hard not to know.”
“You told me first though, remember?” Abigail said.
“Yeah, I do. And then the next day you went into town and bought a locket for me so I could put Arthur’s photo in it.”
You continued brushing Abigail’s locks. Abigail was the closest thing to a sister you had ever gotten. You stood up for her when the rest of the men saw her as a whore, you showed them she was more than that. You stayed by her side when John left her with a newborn. You had even helped give birth to Jack.
Arthur was closer to John for obvious reasons, but you were still John’s sister too. You were both furious at John when he left. John had betrayed you and Abigail, things were still rocky. Arthur understood what it was like to have a child, it wasn’t easy, but at least he had stayed for Eliza, you had met her twice, she was kind and respectful. Isaac was a smart boy, and looked a lot like Arthur. Arthur was distant for a while after he found out they both died.
“It took you awhile to find the right photo to put in it.”
“It did. I had to get him to take the photo in the first place. I remember I told him it was for a job!” You laughed.
“I’m sure he already suspected it.”
“Probably. I never was a good liar around Arthur,” You said.
“I’m so glad he ended up with you.. Mary and him were a troubled pair.”
“Trust me, I know.” Mary hated you and you hated her. It was the final straw when Mary began talking about you, trying to pull Arthur away from you, putting ideas into his head, and Arthur stopped putting up with it. At the time, you were no rival to Mary, you were more like his annoying little sister. His volatile little sister. You were a lot wilder in those days, no wonder Mary saw you as a threat.
“But honestly, you two are a wonderful couple. Arthur is lucky to have you,” Abigail said sincerely.
“Thank you,” You responded. You were finally done brushing her hair, you set the hairbrush down and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I’m so nervous about this wedding,” You confessed to her, setting your hands in your lap.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Abigail looked at you. You looked up at her. Her eyes shimmered with pride.
“I don’t even know why I’m worried, I just am.”
“Well I’ll be with you the entire time, you’re my sister, (Y/N). And sisters stick together.”
“Thank you, Abi.” You leaned forward and gave her a hug, your eyes welling with tears of happiness.
When she let go, she sat up from the bed, walking over to the window. She looked down at the scene below with watchful eyes.
“John looks like he just woke up. That damned fool,” Abigail muttered, she turned to Jack, who had been playing with a few pieces of yarn and wood. You nearly laughed at the pitiful sight, you would have to buy him some real toys when you went back into the city. Arthur and you had briefly discussed having children, you had practically raised Jack, with Abigail. Arthur decided once things settled down and Dutch’s plan to go to Tahiti or wherever he decided at the time finally worked, then would be the time. You prayed it would be soon, Arthur would make a wonderful father. You wanted to get away from this life so desperately, you were tired of running, you were tired of killing. All you wanted was a family with Arthur.
You had lived the life of running, fighting to stay alive, killing without second thought. All you wanted was peace.
Abigail picked up Jack, letting out a quiet groan. Jack was getting big, you remember when you first held him, those big eyes looking up at you.
“Jack, do you want to go get what you made your Aunt?” Abigail asked Jack. Jack looked at you with big doe eyes, smiling widely.
“Yes, Mama,” He said, Abigail set him down, he walked towards the drawer by the window and reached open to pull it open. He barely even reached it. His small arms grabbed a small object from inside the drawer. Abigail put her hands on her hips, smiling at her boy.
“He made it himself,” Abigail said as Jack set a flower crown in your hands. It was pretty with wildflowers he had picked. He watched you examine it, smiling brightly.
“I think Uncle Arthur will like it,” He told you.
“Oh, Jack! Thank you so much. This is beautiful.” You gave him a grin, putting the flower crown on. It really was a thoughtful gift.
“He picked a flower for Arthur too, so you would be matching,” Abigail revealed.
“Arthur likes flowers, did you know that, Jack? He’d never let any of us know, though,” You laughed, grabbing a bobby pin from a small box next to the brush, you secured the crown to your hair. Arthur was always drawing flowers in that journal, and in his old one he had kept pressed flowers. Arthur was a secret softy, there was no hiding that. Perhaps it’s why you fell for him, his secret side was so tender and loving, and when he realized he loved you too, that’s all you ever saw of him. He was nothing but kind - even when he called himself a bad man, you saw straight through that. Arthur was a kind man, kinder than any man you had ever met.
“I know,” Jack said simply, setting down next to you. He kicked his legs out in a back and forth motion.
“How do you know?” You asked him, pretending to be shocked.
“Uncle Arthur told me he likes flowers.”
Abigail held back a laugh, looking at you. You glanced at her, giving her a look.
“Uncle Arthur told you he liked flowers?” You repeated.
“He told me when we were by the water. I found a flower and gave it to him,” Jack responded.
“I see. What flower did you give him?”
“It was a purple flower. Uncle Arthur drew it in his journal.” Jack got up from the bed and went back to his yarn and wood, plopping down on the hardwood floors.
You chatted aimlessly with Abigail for a few moments as she continued getting ready. You were beyond scared to walk down that aisle and face Arthur. The longer you waited, the worse your nerves got.
People came up and down the steps, but suddenly you realized that it was John and Arthur coming upstairs. You held your breath. Even Abigail stopped to listen. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you heard them speak and walk further and further up the steps.
“John?” Abigail called out.
“What?” He responded, John was close to the door.
“Arthur’s not allowed in,” Abigail replied, she picked up her makeup brush and began applying blush to her face.
“I know. He’s not, he’s going to his room.” You could hear Arthur’s footsteps in the other room.
“Can I come in?” John asked after a moment of silence.
“Sure,” You said. The door opened and there was John. He still wasn’t dressed.
“You look good. I’m sure Arthur will be happy to see you.” John closed the door behind him, walking over to the dresser.
“Think so?” You asked playfully.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t he be?” He chuckled, John pulled out a pair of black slacks and a white shirt. It looked clean enough.
“She’s nervous,” Abigail told John. John looked at you over his shoulder.
“That so? Arthur is too.”
“Did he say anything about me?” You blurted out, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush. John walked behind the folding screen in the corner of the room.
“He’s real excited to see you,” John said from behind the screen.
“I’m sure everyone out there is,” Abigail chimed in.
“Arthur wanted me to give you something,” John said as he walked out from behind the screen in his wedding outfit. He walked towards you, outstretching his palm.
It was a chocolate bar. You smiled at it, taking it from John.
“What's up with you two and chocolate?” John asked you as he walked over to the cabinet, he leaned against it, watching Jack play with his yarn.
“It’s a long story, but he’s only supposed to give it to me when I’m injured though.”
“Maybe he just wanted to let you know he’s thinking of you,” Abigail spoke, she glared at John, you wondered what that meant.
“I don’t have anything to give him,” You sighed, staring at the chocolate bar. Arthur was always thinking ahead.
“I’m sure he knows you’re thinking of him,” Abigail replied.
“Hopefully.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to eat it, your nerves were too high. All food sounded incredibly unappetizing. You set the chocolate bar on the bedside table. Jack eyed it, his eyes nearly glowing.
“You want the candy bar?” You asked Jack.
He nodded vigorously. Abigail rolled her eyes humorously.
“You can have it,” You told him. It was a gift from Arthur but Jack would have appreciated it even more than you could, and besides, the kid loves candy.
“Thank you, Auntie (Y/N),” He said, grabbing the chocolate bar with eager hands.
“I best be getting down there now, Dutch wants to talk to Arthur and me, good luck out there by the way,” John said, buttoning the top of his collar. He opened the door and left.
Jack continued eating his chocolate, you smiled at the boy. You wanted your own son or daughter so dearly, one with Arthur’s eyes and your hair. That’s all you wanted. You wanted out. As much as you loved your family - you wanted out. You had lived that way for so long, it was all you had ever known. But now you had a chance at freedom - to create your own family with Arthur.
But Arthur would never leave Dutch. And you knew that.
Deep down you knew.
You were tired of the running — tired of the plans, tired of it all. All you wanted was Arthur, him and nothing else. No gang — no killing. Just Arthur.
You didn’t want to raise a child in the gang, that was a foolish dream. You knew how easily the child could go without a parent, you had seen it happen with Abigail and Jack, although John eventually returned.
You were coming to terms with that though. In the world of an outlaw it was to live forever as an outlaw or die trying.
•••
An hour passed - it was already almost time. A majority of the gang members had already left camp. Your nerves were skyrocketing and when Molly knocked on the door to tell you it was time you almost passed out. Abigail gently ushered you to the door. Your hands were shaking as you slowly opened it up, seeing Molly in her special dress.
The plan was to head to a small church where they held outdoor weddings behind the building, the venue backed up to a river so you would be standing by it saying your vows. It was not very far from Shady Belle. Churches were never quite Arthur’s style, so you opted for an outdoor wedding..
You walked down the staircase slowly to the carriage outside, your hands were shaking wildly. Abigail held you tightly, Jack at her hip. The carriage was waiting outside for you. The camp was deserted behind you, it was strange to see. It was almost eerie, the lack of life, but you knew later tonight it would be bustling with it.
Abigail helped you up into the carriage. Once everyone was in the driver set off. Your heart pounded in your ears, your stomach churning.
“I’m so nervous.” You clasped your gloved hands tightly in your lap, as if it would somehow stop the shaking. Every turn, every jolt, it did not help with your nerves at all.
“I know, dear,” Molly said, putting her hands over yours. Abigail watched you sympathetically, she knew this wasn’t easy.
The carriage moved closer and closer to the venue. Arthur was surely feeling the same way, hopefully not to the same extent.
You were silent for most of the ride, Abigail and Molly talked fruitlessly, but you could not focus on their words. It felt like there were a thousand thoughts in your mind but not a single one was coming to your mind clearly, they were all shrouded in nervousness.
When the carriage suddenly came to a stop your heart jumped. You looked out the window and held your breath. This was it.
You were getting married. Today. Right now.
It was suddenly almost hard to wrap your mind around it. Abigail had to lightly nudge you out of the carriage, otherwise you would have been frozen in that seat.
You stepped out of the carriage, the sun was bright and slowly setting in the sky. By the time you would all get back tonight - it would surely be night.
Charles and John were waiting outside of the church for you. Every step closer to the church felt heavier and heavier, it was beginning to be hard to stand up straight.
“You look nice,” Charles said, holding the door open for you. Sunlight seeped in from the windows of the church, it was dusty inside. Sadie, Miss Grimshaw and Mary Beth sat on one of the pews, waiting for you.
“Thank you, Charles.”
Mary Beth gave you a small wave as you walked closer to them. Molly, Abigail, Jack and John behind you. It was hot and dry inside the church, it did not help that you were wearing a heavy dress either.
You opened your mouth to say something to Sadie, but Miss Grimshaw quickly cut you off. Molly walked out the back door to the ceremony.
“Arthur’s in the room behind the altar, with Dutch and Hosea. The Processional is starting in five minutes,” Miss Grimshaw reminded everyone. You nodded slowly. Five minutes felt like nothing. Abigail clipped the veil into your hair as Miss Grimshaw spoke. The veil was long and trailed to the floor, with lots of lace that was intricately woven.
“The order goes Dutch, Miss Grimshaw, Arthur, Charles, John, me, Mary Beth, Abigail, Jack and then our bride with Hosea,” Sadie read off from a piece of paper she had been holding.
“Then I’ll get out there with them, and you, Abigail, make sure the boy doesn’t drop the rings,” Miss Grimshaw finished, she turned swiftly towards the room behind the altar. Charles and John followed suit.
You sat down on one of the pews, your heeled foot tapping tirelessly against the floors. You tried to think of something calming, but nothing came to mind. It all was scrambled, your brain desperately grasping at a comprehensible thought.
“You’ll be fine,” Sadie told you as she leaned against the pew.
“You will be,” Mary Beth agreed.
“I’m afraid I’ll mess up.”
“You won’t mess up, you’ll be fine,” Abigail beamed. The seconds ticked on, the women sticking to their own conversations after noticing the worry in your eyes.
The music began and you immediately perked up, five minutes seemingly goes fast when your mind is a jumbled mess.
Sadie, Mary Beth and Abigail got up. Jack held onto his mother’s dress tightly. Abigail turned to smile at you sweetly as they walked closer and closer to the back. You gave her a small wave of goodbye. She mouthed “you’ll do great.” as she vanished behind the door.
The church was now completely deserted, it was now you and your thoughts. About a minute passed before Abigail knocked on the door. You hesitantly walked over to the looming door. Your heart beating wildly, like it would jump out of your chest.
You opened it and took a small breath, trying to calm your screaming nerves. In a few moments, you would see Arthur, and he would see you. And you would be his, and he would be yours. Years of yearning, wishing the other would be at their side, who knew it would come to this? He would be yours and you would be his. It was as simple as that.
Hosea was waiting on the other side for you, looking handsome as ever in his suit. He was the closest thing to a father you had ever gotten, it was only fitting he would walk you down the aisle. He smiled at the sight of you, unable to hide his pride.
The small compartment behind the church was small too. The door was open leading to the altar where Arthur was waiting for you, but a path obscured by trees hid it from you.
“You look beautiful,” He whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. You stared at the door, waiting for your turn. You smiled politely, although you were not facing him.
The summer buzz of cicadas was heard even as the Procession played, a melodic tune. You waited for the music to change into your entrance.
“You’ll do fine out there, Arthur loves you,” Hosea’s words were quiet, but you could hear them loud as day. It was entirely true of course. Hosea was always right.
The music slowly shifted into a much slower song, and you knew. This was it. Hosea slid his arm through yours, your right arm holding the bouquet. You both slowly stepped out into the bright day. You felt like you were floating on a cloud — like nothing could ever bring you down. The dirt crunched underneath your feet as the aisle slowly came into view. Hosea’s arm was steady and soothing, his steps slow and methodical.
Worries drifted away as you slowly came into view, the wedding party rising at your arrival. The music continued to play a slow, beautiful tune, the cicadas humming happily and the rush of the river drumming thunderously.
And then there was Arthur, smiling at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life. You were closer now to him, every step bringing you nearer and nearer to his heart.
Arthur was handsome. He was gorgeous. And he was yours — all yours. He was sporting a dashing black suit, perfectly tailored. The flower in his chest pocket was the same as the ones in your hair.
It was like there was a beam of light radiating from him, Arthur had always been your beacon even in the darkest of times. He was love itself.
You felt the eyes of your friends and family on you, but you could only focus on Arthur.
When you finally reached the altar, your hearts felt like they were being synced, beating as one rather than two. The officiant stood behind Arthur, underneath two trees with a small arch decorated with flowers, Sadie and Mary Beth waiting for you on the left, John and Charles next to Arthur.
Hosea let go off your arm, smiling the entire time. He took his place next to Dutch in the front row, you handed Abigail your bouquet and stood next to Arthur underneath the arch, he took your hands in his. His hands were rough and strong, but they felt like home.
You looked into those eyes of endless waves, you only felt love and happiness from him. He looked like a prince, like there was supposed to be a crown sitting on top of his head, rather than the flower one you wore.
The officiant began with a welcome as the guests sat down.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Arthur and (Y/N) in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The officiant said. This was really it, you kept reminding yourself. You both looked towards the crowd, for a fleeting moment you wondered if anyone would speak up. Arthur wondered the same, perhaps Micah would think he was funny and say something completely out of line, but he didn’t.
Arthur thought you were a goddess in your beautiful white gown. It looked exactly like something you would wear, the dress accented your body wonderfully, he couldn’t help but admire it.
The officiant spoke some more, weddings, love, union, the beginning of your new life - but you could barely focus on it. Your only focus was Arthur. Your fiancé, your best friend, your husband in a matter of moments.
“And now the bride and the groom are to exchange vows,” The officiant proclaimed. He gave you your paper with the vows.
Tears slowly started forming in your eyes as you shakily held the paper, smiling through it all.
“I remember when you found me alone in that cabin, that day you saved me in more ways than one. You taught me to love, to laugh, to trust. You have been my best friend, my companion, my lover and now you will be my husband. You have stayed by me when I was sick, injured, drunk, crying, you were there for it all. And I shall be there for you, I will choose you every time. I devote myself to you, Arthur Morgan, in sickness and in health. For I am yours, and you are mine.” You squeezed Arthur’s hand tightly, feeling the words come out naturally, like you had been waiting to say them your entire life. His smile widened throughout your entire vow.
The officiant held the paper out to Arthur, he let go of your hand to take it. You remembered him saying writing vows was hard, saying that his words sounded like nonsense. But they weren’t nonsense, Arthur was a gifted writer, whether he knew it or not. The thoughts in his journal (which you rarely ever saw) were something precious.
“My dear (Y/N), the first day I met you I knew I would like you. And I was right, and here we are now years later. It’s been a wild last few years, reckless too, but this is our first step into our new life, and we best not waste it. You are my love, you are my light, and I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing can or will separate us from now till the end of time,” He finished, his eyes brimming with love. Nothing could have prepared you for this moment, looking into his eyes and only feeling happiness. Like it was only you and him in this entire universe.
“Arthur, do you take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and health, till death do you part?” The officiant asked. Arthur looked towards the man and nodded.
“I do.”
“And do you, Y/N, take Arthur Morgan to be your lawfully wedded husband, through sickness and health, till death do you part?”
“I do,” You said to Arthur. You smiled uncontrollably, and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spill out the corner of your eyes.
The officiant leaned down to take the rings from Jack.
“Arthur, take this ring and place it on her finger.” Arthur took the ring from the man, and you presented your left hand to him. He slipped it on effortlessly.
“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you.”
“Y/N, take this ring and place it on his finger.” You grabbed the ring, feeling the weight of it in your hand, you slipped it on his strong hand.
“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you,” You rang out loud and clear. Speaking only to him. Words that would forever bind you to him.
“And remember, love is an unbreakable bond, it is gratitude, it is faithfulness, it is kindness, it is forgiveness, it is everything good in this world. Lovers will always find a way back to each other,” The officiant said with parting words.
“With the power invested in me, I now declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”
You both leaned in, he grabbed your waist, you took his face in your hand. And you kissed him, and you kissed him. His mouth against yours, it was a rushing moment, like you were soaring above the clouds. And you felt the love between, the hearts beating as one. Arthur was secure, he was your lifeline, he was your home. Arthur was yours.
Cheers were heard as you both retreated. You took his hand in his as you made your way back down the aisle. The crowd stood up for you, clapping the whole way. You would have to get used to the new weight on your finger, it was different than the engagement ring.
Once you were back on the path, you finally spoke, unable to hide your excitement.
“Gosh, I was so nervous all day, but when I got up there it wasn’t bad at all!” You exclaimed, walking closer to the church. The forest singing a merry tune for you
“I know, John had mentioned earlier that you was nervous,” Arthur replied. Your heart was beating quickly, but this time not with nerves, with excitement, with joy.
“And thank you, for the chocolate by the way. I ended up giving it to Jack, since he was ogling it the entire time,” You laughed, speaking quickly. Arthur held the door open for you as you entered the church.
“I was wondering if you would eat it or not.”
“Jack liked it. He also said he picked you that flower,” You told Arthur as you walked towards the front of the church, out towards the carriage
“The flower crown looks nice in your hair, I think he made a good choice.” You opened the door to the carriage outside. The rest of the gang would come back to camp after you left. Arthur helped you into the carriage while the driver congratulated you two.
At 19 you expected to live the rest of your life with a gang of merciless strangers who beat and did horrible things to you, but now here you are, 10 years later - married to the man who had saved you. And he had saved you every day since then, reminding that you were worth the love he could give.
And he was yours, and you were his.
•••
The party still roared to life outside. There was a feast fit for a group of outlaws, cake, never ending drinks, a vibrant bonfire, poker, stories, toasts, talks. It was everything you hoped your wedding would be. Hosea and Dutch were like proud fathers the entire night. You even saw what looked like Miss Grimshaw wiping away some tears when Hosea gave his speech.
It was interesting to say the least — when the songs started, you knew a majority of the camp had gotten drunk. Barely anyone had retired for the night — besides Strauss, and Reverend who had already blacked out. They sang songs for you and Arthur, they sang songs about love, about sex (which made you blush and hide your face, while Arthur had a dumb smirk on his face). You had switched out of your dress after the ceremony and opted for a looser small white dress.
When the crowd began saying the ‘Ring Dang Doo’ you groaned, knowing everyone would be looking at you. Arthur laughed as he sang along, watching you the entire time. The hoops and hollers were joyous as you hid your face in Arthur’s shoulder.
When the song was finally over you let out a sigh of relief, but you remained nuzzled into your husband's side. He was warm from drinking, and he had a happy glow to him. There was not another place you would rather be than to be next to him.
Hours passed smoothly, the songs became less rowdy as the party goers quickly dropped, hopefully not too hard. It was hard to believe your wedding day was over. You remained by Arthur’s side for a majority of the night. By the time Javier and John had packed up for the night — as well as an insufferably drunk Sean who’d fallen on his face getting up, it left only you and Arthur.
The fire crackled and sputtered as the remaining embers shuddered, praying to stay lit. The night was slowly coming to end, the final waves of darkness would be over soon, and light would wash over the terrain.
You were tired, you’d been awake for nearly a full day now. Your head rested on Arthur’s shoulder as he stared meaningfully into the fire, both of your eyelids heavy. You slowly blinked, trying to stay awake, to not fall asleep in the middle of camp.
“You know we could get away from this all, Arthur,” You mentioned to him, trying to suppress a yawn that was threatening to be released from your mouth.
Arthur replied with a questioning hum.
You looked up at him, “We could get away from this life, you know, start our own family.”
“You know I want that, sweetheart. Life’s just a mess right now, not sure it’s the right time,” He sighed. You turned back to look at the dwindling fire.
“I know, Arthur, I do. I just — I want a child of our own, a house, a family.”
“We’ll have that one day.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
•••
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Rebound
Part 12
A/N: Thanks so much for your patience in waiting on this! I really appreciate that a lot of you guys have stuck out through my hiatus, but hopefully from here on out, I’ll get parts out more consistently!!
Warnings: minor swearing
Word Count: 4.7K
Tagging: @haylaansmi @kingdomofwrath @maybe-your-left
Masterlist
Kylo was silent, the only sound coming from him was the tapping of his fingers on the steering wheel. You weren’t really sure what to say either. After seeing Pat with Shawn and Stella, the two of you didn’t stay any longer, sneaking away to the car, where you were now sitting in silence.
You wanted to say something, but no matter what, you came up short, soaking in the silence as you tried to think of something, anything to say. However, after a while of thinking up nothing, you pulled out your phone and texted Sami, telling her about the whole situation. You felt she was the only person who could provide anything within reason to say.
Excuse me, what the fuck? Was her response. You quickly typed away at your phone.
I know, it’s hard to believe, and I wouldn’t if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, you responded, letting out a sigh as you turned off your screen.
“Kylo?” you asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Hold on, I’m thinking,” was all he said before pulling his own phone from his jacket, bringing up Milo’s name in his contacts. The phone rang for a few seconds before you could faintly here Milo’s voice through the receiver, deepened by the microphone in his own phone.
“Hey man, what’s up?”
“Is there any reason that you know of that Pat would be hanging with both mine and (y/n)’s exes?” Kylo said, trying to keep his cool. You held onto his hand and he gave you a grateful look before continuing to stare out the window.
“Yo, what the fuck? I knew something was off about that kid, I told you,” was Milo’s response.
“Yeah, yeah, you told me, I know, but I didn’t think he’d be talking to my ex and my girlfriend’s ex, who conveniently hates me,” Kylo said with a huff.
“Yeah no fuck that- wait a minute, did you call her your girlfriend? You finally told her?”
“That’s neither here nor there, Milo, I’ll tell you later.”
“Yeah, no, I get it man. Yeah, fuck Pat, let me handle him.”
“You sure? I can handle him myself man, and honestly I’d like to fuck him up,” Kylo responded, his knuckles turning white from the way he was clenching his fist.
“You don’t need to fuck him up, he’s friends with Hux, whose piggy daddy would love throwing you in jail for aggravated assault. No, let me handle Pat, that’ll be best for everyone,” Milo said with finality. Kylo was silent for a moment before letting out his own sigh, slackening his fist and closing his eyes.
“You’re right. Just make sure he knows not to fuck with any of us anymore. I don’t want that poser anywhere near me,” Kylo said, his voice calming down.
“Don’t worry about it man, when I’m done with him, he won’t even look your way,” Milo assured Kylo.
“Alright, well, I’m trusting you with this, man. I’ll talk to you later,” Kylo said with another sigh.
“Talk to you later, man,” Milo said before the line went dead. Kylo groaned, running a hand through his messy black hair before turning to look at you. Your eyes locked with his brown ones, and you tried to give him a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. Kylo let out a chuckle before shaking his head.
“C’mon, let’s head to my grandparents place. Granpa won’t snitch on us for skipping,” he said before letting out a sigh. You simply nodded as he turned the key in the ignition, the car roaring to life on his command.
Within the hour, the two of you were pulling up to the driveway at the Skywalker house. You quickly stole a glance over to your own driveway before letting out a sigh of relief. Your driveway was empty, so there was no way that your parents would catch you in the act of skipping.
You climbed out of Kylo’s car, opting to leave your backpack and stuff inside as you followed behind him into the house. You were surprised that no one seemed to be home, and honestly, you were relieved. As much as you liked Mr. Skywalker, you didn’t really want to deal with any questions right now.
As Kylo opened the door to the empty house, you let a sigh escape from your chest. What a day it had been. You and Kylo confessed your feelings for each other, and now you both had to worry about your exes hanging around each other, and with Pat as well. You couldn’t help but feel some deep foreboding in the pit of your stomach. They were definitely planning something, and you wanted to know what.
“C’mon, I’m gonna take a nap, I think,” Kylo said, pulling you out of your thoughts as you watched him head for the stairs. Without hesitation, you followed him up the stairs, examining the pictures hanging on the walls going up the stairs. You smiled as you looked at the different memories of the Skywalker family, forever captured on these photos.
The upper floor of the Skywalker home was not very large, but you couldn’t say you were surprised. This was a quaint little neighborhood, not at all like the Solo house in the richer part of town. Though the grandeur of a house like that was always impressive, you preferred this more modest home. It felt more cozy, and easier to live in.
Kylo led you to his bedroom, which was very similar to the one at his parents house, though considerably smaller. The walls were painted a dark blue, but were covered by various posters across the wall. Accompanying the posters, on the wall above the desk, was a corkboard. As you walked closer, you took a look at all the pictures and things pinned onto it. There were lots of pictures of the Knights of Ren. One was clearly from homecoming the year before, as Milo and Jordan were both in the picture as well, their smiling faces matching those of everyone else. As you looked at the photo longer, though, you tried not to frown as you noticed that there was a part of the picture that had been cut off on the end. At the edge of the picture, you could only see a portion of a shoulder, which you assumed belonged to Kylo, as he was the only person missing in the picture.
“Stella’s in that photo. That’s why it’s cut like that,” was all Kylo said as he plopped onto the bed, pulling out his phone and typing away on it as he lay on his back. You walked over to the bed, covered in a black duvet, and set yourself down beside Kylo, who moved closer to the wall so that you’d have room to lay down as well. You hesitated for a moment, your heart pumping a little faster as you considered laying down. Then, with a silent but shaky breath, you laid down next to Kylo. His body was warm, which you should have expected as much, but it still made your cheeks flush. You stared up at the ceiling, unsure of what to do with yourself as Kylo continued to scroll on his phone. After a few moments, he let out a sigh before laying the phone on the bed next to him, and turning to face you.
“We can’t really catch a break, can we?” Kylo mumbled as he looked into your eyes. Adjusting yourself to face him, you simply sighed.
“Seems that way, doesn’t it? But hey, they’re not gonna fuck with what we have, okay?” you said to him, taking his hand in yours. Kylo hummed his response and then closed his eyes, intertwining his fingers in yours.
“I just need a nap. I’ll set an alarm,” he said as he opened his eyes again, letting go of your hand to grab his phone and set an alarm. After setting his phone back down, Kylo scooted closer to you, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms around you. It made you feel so safe, to be tucked away in his arms, and you couldn’t help yourself as you scooted even closer to him, resting your cheek against his chest. It didn’t take long for the two of you to fall into a blissful and peaceful slumber.
***
A few weeks had passed and you still couldn’t quite get over the euphoria of being in an official relationship with Kylo. Being with Kylo felt as simple as breathing, and every moment you spent together felt effortless. You didn’t have to try so hard for Kylo, because he already wanted you the way you truly were, and not some facade that you’d created in order to fit everyone’s ideas of who you should be.
Unfortunately, the joy and happiness of being with Kylo couldn’t erase everything else going on. Three weeks had passed, but you couldn’t help but feel the pit in your stomach that Pat was up to something, and that Shawn and Stella were involved.
Milo’s conversation with Pat had not gone well, which was also evident in the fact that Pat had sent a long, rather crude voicemail to Kylo. From what Milo said, Pat had all but threatened everyone in the group, but especially you and Kylo. He’d said some choice words in his voicemail that almost made Kylo drive to Pat’s house and deal with him personally. Fortunately, you were there to keep Kylo in check.
Apart from that, you were still receiving the deathly looks from Shawn in physics. Every day you could feel his glare burning into the back of your head, but you never looked back. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of bothering you, but you were also afraid to see the look in his eyes. You couldn’t rationalize the fear, all you knew was that it was there.
As the last of September’s heat faded and welcomed in the chilly winds of October, you found yourself adorning your new leather jacket that Sami had embroidered. As you walked down the hall in the late October afternoon, you kept stealing glances of both the KOR stitched onto the front pocket, and Kylo’s hand in yours. They were both sights you knew you would never be tired of. As the two of you settled into the lunch table, you pulled out your lunch, letting go of Kylo’s hand and already missing its warmth.
“Alright guys, I’m gonna do it,” Sami stated with finality.
“Do what?” Alan asked from beside her, biting into the banana he was eating.
“Apply to Hosnian State’s art program! I’ve talked a lot to Mr. Jones, and he thinks my portfolio should be good enough to earn me some scholarship,” Sami said, beaming up at everyone at the table.
“Sami, that’s amazing! I’m sure you’ll get in, and get a scholarship,” you said as you smiled back at her, her excitement infectious.
“You can also probably cut costs by living with Milo. The two of you could find a nice little apartment, but make sure it has space for all of us to come visit,” Kylo added with a smirk. Sami simply shook her head at him.
“You know what, Kylo, that’s a grand idea. What about all of you, you know that most of the colleges nearby have their applications due by the end of December,” Sami pointed out, causing a groan to come from you, Kylo, and Phasma.
“I don’t even know what I want to major in, let alone where I want to go,” you said, putting your face in your hands.
“I think I’ve settled on a major, but I still don’t know about location either. Part of me wants to go to HSU just to get the fuck away from Mos Eisley,” Kylo commented, resting his elbows on the table.
“I think I’m gonna go to Coruscant Central. The only problem is I have no idea what to major in,” Phasma added, running a hand through her blonde hair.
“Well, we’ve at least got time to figure that out. As long as we figure out where to go, we should be fine,” you added before taking a bite out of a muffin.
Thinking about college was definitely a source of stress for you. While there were plenty of things you were good at, you weren’t sure if you had passion enough for a subject to actually pursue a degree in it. Admittedly, though, you couldn’t deny that you shared Kylo’s sentiment about going to HSU. It would be nice to get away from Mos Eisley for once, and actually experience life outside of the prying eyes of your mother. You had the grades to get into HSU, maybe you would just start undecided.
You shook college from your mind after lunch, though. As you walked down the hall, your hand in Kylo’s, you couldn’t help but get the feeling that you were being watched. You looked around the hallway, trying to pinpoint the feeling when you spotted him.
Leaning against one of the lockers ahead of you was Pat. You had expected the look on his face to be angry, one of contempt, but instead, he was smiling at you with an almost evil grin. You felt a chill run up your spine as the two of you made eye contact. You quickly turned away from him, but it didn’t stop you from noticing him turning away as well, walking towards the end of the hall. Whatever he had planned, you didn’t like it.
As the two of you stepped into the Physics lab, you tried to keep your eyes away from Shawn’s spot in the classroom. You had a sinking feeling that if Pat was planning something, Shawn would be involved. After all, they looked pretty chummy when you and Kylo caught them together. The thought of them conspiring together was terrifying, and it chilled you to the bone.
Throughout class, you couldn’t help but feel dread, even though you were constantly trying your hardest to ignore it. Everything should be perfect now, after all, you and Kylo were dating for real this time, and even though your relationship with Rey had yet to be repaired, you were still friends with Poe and Finn, and you had all your new friends. By any stretch of the imagination, your senior year was going great, especially considering how it had started. You really had nothing to worry about, and yet here you were, stewing in your anxiety.
Occasionally, you’d steal glances over at Kylo, trying to read his expression, but you never caught on that he might be feeling the same as you, or that he even suspected that you were feeling a certain way. No, he was just looking up at the board, taking notes, and then occasionally would draw on your notes, which were currently just a blank page with Kylo’s doodles all over them.
You were thankful when the bell rang, and you began to gather your stuff to get ready to go to English. As you were packing up, your eyes scanned the room, and for a brief second, they made contact with Shawn’s. Much to your surprise, though, they didn’t have that cold, plotting look that Pat’s had earlier. Instead, it was the same angry expression he always gave you when he looked at you. It felt weird to say it, but you were relieved that it was only his anger you were looking into. With a sigh, you stood from your chair, waiting for Kylo to finish packing up before the two of you headed off for your last class of the day.
Walking into English was always a little comforting, especially seeing Phasma and Sami waiting for the two of you. As you looked across the room, you also made eye contact with Poe and Finn, who both smiled and waved at you. You waved back, and made a mental note that you would need to hang out with them sometime soon.
As you sat down, you let out a sigh, and Sami and Phasma both turned around in their desks to face the two of you.
“So, how was physics?” Phasma asked.
“The usual. Mr. Windu is having us do a take home lab with our respective partners, and it’s due next week,” Kylo said with nonchalance as he pulled out his copy of Hard Times. You tried not to look shell-shocked when he said it, as you’d spent your entire time in physics hanging on the edges of panic.
“Can’t wait for this semester to be over. What’s the plan for Halloween this year?” Sami said, leaning her elbow against your desk as she looked between the three of you.
“Haven’t really thought that far ahead. I know I don’t wanna do another party, and also we have no place to do a party,” Kylo said as he brought his hand to his chin in thought.
“How about we just come to my place and watch some movies or something? My mom’s gonna be gone on a business trip, so I’ll have the whole house to myself,” Sami offered.
“That sounds great actually. Should we still dress up, or should we just be normal?” you asked, kind of excited about the idea of spending the night with your new friends. In the past, you had spent Halloween in a very similar manner with your old friends, but you had a feeling that your new friends would probably want to watch more macabre movies than your old friends would. While you loved the fun Halloween classics, a scary movie did you good every once in a while.
“Obviously you’ll come dressed up. I’ll be really disappointed if the two of you don’t come in a couple’s costume. Be Frankenstein and his bride or something,” Sami suggested, causing you to laugh, and for Kylo to let out a dramatic sigh.
“Wow Sami, I can’t believe you understand me so well, a being who did not ask to be created and is thus suffering in this corporeal form,” Kylo said wistfully, causing you and Phasma to laugh.
“Don’t be such a drama queen, Kylo,” Sami said as Mr. Skywalker stood up, drawing the attention of the class.
Your inability to focus followed you into English. It probably didn’t help that you found Hard Times incredibly dull, it just made it all the easier to shift your focus from the lesson, and onto your worries.
Chill, take a deep breath, you thought to yourself as you inhaled deeply, and then exhaled. You needed to stop letting your worry consume you, especially now that you had something to look forward to. Halloween with your friends would be fun.
Then, without warning, an idea hit you. You pulled out your phone and started typing away.
Hey, do you wanna hang out tonight?
It didn’t take long for Poe to answer back.
Yeah! My place or yours? He responded.
Mine is good! I think my mom will appreciate me having some of my other friends over.
Lol ok. After school work alright with you?
Yeah. See ya then!!
Now you had something else to look forward to, hanging out with an older friend.
At the end of the day, you packed away your copy of Hard Times and let out a sigh. Once you were done packing up your bag, you leaned back, being greeted by the warmth of Kylo’s arm, which was resting on the back of your chair.
“You two are gross,” Sami said, sticking out her tongue at the two of you. You laughed as Kylo shook his head.
“I don’t wanna hear shit from you, Sami. You and Milo are all over each other whenever you have the opportunity,” Kylo quipped back, causing Sami to frown, and Phasma to laugh.
“Whatever,” Sami responded with a pout just as the bell rang. The four of you stood from your seats and headed out the classroom, ready to be away from the school for the rest of the day.
“Do you wanna have dinner with my grandparents tonight?” Kylo asked as the two of you followed behind Phasma and Sami, who were chatting away.
“I can’t. I asked Poe if he wanted to come over, and he said yeah,” you responded. Kylo frowned for a moment, his bottom lip sticking out slightly in the most adorable way, but his frown soon turned to a smile.
“Good. I’m glad you’re hanging out with him, seeing as it’s been a while,” he responded. “Just because you have new friends doesn’t mean you should forget about your old ones.”
“I think some of my old ones would rather eat dirt than talk to me right now,” you said with a sigh. You hadn’t so much as made eye contact with Rey ever since you had dinner at the Solo house, and even if the two of you were open to talking, you weren’t sure what to say. You definitely felt you were owed an apology, but that didn’t mean you were completely innocent in the situation, or its outcomes. If you’d been smart, you would have just sat her down and explained firmly that she wasn’t losing your friendship simply because you were dating her cousin.
“Rey will come around eventually. I mean, I doubt she’ll ever be happy with the fact that we’re dating, but I think if she values your friendship enough, she’ll be able to overlook it for you,” Kylo said, helping to reassure that anxious part of you that feared your friendship would never recover.
You grabbed Kylo’s hand and laced your fingers between his, smiling up at him. He gave you a half-smile back before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on your cheek.
When Kylo pulled into the driveway of his grandparents home, you already saw Poe’s car parked on the curb between your driveway and the Skywalker driveway. With a final quick kiss from Kylo, you grabbed your stuff and walked over to Poe’s car, where he was sitting in the driver’s seat, staring at his phone.
As you approached, you tapped on the window, causing him to jump before looking over at you, his brows furrowed in feigned anger. You couldn’t help but laugh as you stepped back so that Poe could climb out of his car. Poe gave you a hug before the two of you walked towards your house. You looked back at Kylo one last time, who gave a wave to the two of you. To your surprise, Poe waved back to him.
Once inside your house, you passed by your parents talking in the living room, who gave you a shocked look when they saw Poe.
“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. (y/l/n)! How you guys been?” Poe said as your parents approached.
“Really well, thank you! It’s been a while since we’ve seen you, Poe,” your mom said, giving you a look that made you wanna groan.
“I’ve been kinda busy recently, but I had a free afternoon today! Just came to hang out with (y/n) for a bit,” he responded, as quick as ever with coming up for a reason for his absence that didn’t give your parents any hints to the argument you’d had, or your own neglect of your old friends.
After your parents were satisfied, the two of you retreated to your room. With a sigh, you threw your stuff on the ground and threw yourself on your bed. Poe plopped himself onto your desk chair and let out his own sigh.
“So, what has been going on with you?” Poe asked, leaning back in the chair as he turned to face you.
“Don’t even get me started. Life has been so crazy recently, I feel like I’m getting whiplash from it all,” you said from your bed, staring up at the ceiling.
“I mean, they all seem like they live crazy lives,” Poe commented as he watched you.
“I guess. I mean, it’s mostly been crazy because of the drama. I never thought Kylo would have so much drama surrounding him, but I guess I was wrong,” you said. Poe perked up with curiosity, a grin forming on his face. This was a part of the reason you loved Poe. He was easy to tell anything to, especially since you knew he’d take your secrets to the grave.
However, there were a lot of things involved in the drama that revolved around your former plan with Kylo, and you weren’t sure what Poe’s reaction to that would be. For a moment, you thought on it, trying not to look into Poe’s eyes as you weighed the pros and cons of telling him everything.
“Okay, so a lot of what’s happened might not make sense if you don’t know something very important, I just need you to promise me you won’t get mad when I tell you,” you said, twiddling your fingers and looking down at your lap as you waited for a response.
“Sure, what is it?” Poe asked, leaning forward.
“I uh….mayhavebeenpretendingtodateKyloupuntilrecentlytogetbackatShawn,” you said very quickly. For a moment, Poe’s face was confused, but after he was able to discern what you said, his face shifted into one of realization.
“Oh my god, (y/n)! Wait, what do you mean up until recently?”
“Well, a few weeks ago, Kylo and I decided to become ‘official’ official, so now we’re actually dating. We just weren’t in the beginning.” You were still avoiding eye contact with Poe, but you could tell that the look on his face was incredulous.
“You should have just told me in the beginning! I get why you didn’t tell Rey, she would have shot the idea down immediately, but me? I would have supported you,” Poe said, causing you to look up at him.
“You would have?”
“Yeah. What better way to get back at Shawn than to date the person he hates the most.”
“But you’re not upset that me and Kylo are actually dating now?”
You waited as Poe thought for a moment, his fingers rubbing at his chin, and nose slightly scrunched as he thought about what to say.
“No. When we talked that one day, I could tell that you really liked him, and I trust that you know how to pick a good partner, especially after Shawn. I was worried that you were maybe dating Kylo because he was the opposite of Shawn, and that you didn’t really feel anything for him. Also, I wasn’t really sure about Kylo’s intentions either. When I realized you genuinely liked him, that was enough for me,” he explained. Without warning, you pulled him in for a hug, squeezing tight as Poe laughed.
“Now, tell me all the drama,” he said once you let go.
And so you did, ready to share the craziness of the past couple of months with someone who hadn’t experienced it for themselves. It felt so good to explain to someone everything that had happened, and to get so many of your opinions off your chest. Poe was an amazing listener as well, engaging in the conversation and asking questions along the way each of which you provided answers.
It felt good to tell one of your old friends about all the things that had happened with your new friends.
When you finished talking, you watched as Poe absorbed all the information you’d given him.
“So you’re worried Pat is gonna plan something?” he asked after a moment of silence.
“Exactly. I don’t know why, but the way he looked at me today was so unnerving. He’s definitely got something up his sleeve,” you responded back.
“Well, I have a couple of classes with Pat. I can try to see if I can get him to talk?” Poe offered.
“No, I doubt he’d tell you anything. It looks like I’m just gonna have to wait and see what it is,” you said with a sigh.
Though you were worried about Pat, and whatever it was he had planned, you still felt tremendously lighter than you had before telling Poe everything. Now, if you could only get Rey to be so compliant, maybe you could work your way with everyone else as well.
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When the World Goes Boom (Part Four)
This bit was a challenge to write. I’ve actually moved into writing stuff down for the planning of this fic so things are getting more complicated. I would really like to know why I suddenly can’t write short fic anymore. This one is over 7000 words now with plenty to go ::sigh:: I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Spoilers & Warnings: Spoilers for season three, angst, 2115 words
Many thanks to @scribbles97 and @i-am-chidorixblossom for putting up with my crazy and reading this at random moments.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
-o-o-o-
Gordon accompanied Grandma back to the hospital. His father’s voice had been almost vacant of emotion when he made the request. Scott is asking for his grandmother, can you please come back in.
It wasn’t really a question.
Grandma shot him a worried look as he grabbed his wallet. John was still in the house office. Gordon had tried to speak to his brother, but Eos had growled at him at the door.
He got the message.
Didn’t stop him from worrying.
He recognised they were in a bad spot, but the outlook was positive. Alan was going to get better; Scott should recover soon. It was hard, but not insurmountable and he fought to maintain his positivity. He had to think positive. That was the key to everything.
Grandma was ever so quiet. There was none of her usually bubbly chatter. Instead it was replaced with a silent frown, thoughts obviously churning behind those eyes. It was disturbing. She hadn’t offered to cook a meal since they got here.
“They are getting better, Grandma.”
She blinked and looked over at him. “I know, honey.” A critical blue eye appraised his clothing. “You should bring a jacket. We’re not in the tropics at the moment.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Grandma.”
She had dragged him and Virgil back here late last night, determined that he sleep in his own bed. Gordon hadn’t wanted too. He would rather have stayed with Alan. But his grandmother pointed out, and rightly so, that Alan was sleeping with medication tonight and would be fine under the care of the hospital. Gordon needed his sleep and he needed to go home.
Sure, Gordon needed to go home. This just wasn’t home.
But both brothers did as they were asked.
Somehow Virgil was gone before Gordon woke.
He suspected his older brother was taking his coffee intravenously to be out of bed that early. But he left a note and Gordon was to take the baton after Alan’s dressing changes.
Gordon’s lips thinned just thinking about that, but it meant he was going into the hospital anyway. Their father’s request was just timely.
The house in Parnell was close to everything important in Auckland, including the hospital. The early morning sun was bright and the view across the bay was blue and clear. His body ached for the water, but it wasn’t happening. He turned back to the car and forced a smile at the driver. He got a sad smile in return.
The drive was short, the hospital entrance like a maw, just like all hospital entrances, as he stepped into another world behind those doors.
A world from which he was willing to do anything to free his brothers.
Being Tracys they did get a little extra special treatment. Well, special in the way that they had to have it due to their celebrity. Scott and Alan’s room was separate from the main ICU, hidden away and secured by IR security and Kayo. Once past the guards, a small empty corridor led to three lonely chairs sat against stark white walls beside a door.
His footsteps echoed on the scrubbed linoleum.
Grandma gently took his wrist. “Gordon.” Blue eyes looked into his. “Could you please go and find Virgil and Alan?”
A frown. “Are you okay, Grandma?”
“I’m fine, honey. I just need to speak to your father.”
Alone.
It wasn’t said, but he got the message. “Okay, Grandma. Comm me, if you need me.”
“Always.” A soft smile and her hand briefly cupped his cheek.
He knew his smile in return was weak, but he gave it what he had.
As he turned to leave, the door opened and his tired father emerged. Gordon stopped in his tracks. Dad looked awful. Pale, bags under his eyes, immediate flashbacks to the early days of his return had Gordon’s heart thudding in his chest. A step forward, but Grandma grabbed his wrist again.
“Go find Alan, honey.”
A glance between his father and grandmother. “Okay, Grandma.” His hand wrapped around hers. “Comm me.”
She nodded once and let him go.
A nod, a smile at his father and he spun on his heel and strode back down the corridor.
Worry on his heels.
-o-o-o-
Sally Tracy was tired. But all the Tracys were tired so this was nothing special. Until all her boys were healthy and back with her on the Island, she wouldn’t be happy.
Jeff was overdoing it, of course. Her five grandsons inherited their stubbornness honestly from both sides of their gene pool. Lucy had been just as bad.
She looked up at her son and as always wondered how he had gotten so tall. She would always remember the tiny baby in her arms oh so long ago. He had grown into a man of who she was ever so proud, but the crick in her neck was becoming chronic.
Gordon was a relief.
Not that she would ever tell him.
“Jefferson, you should go home.”
“I plan to.” It was said with such depression her heart skipped a beat.
“Has something happened?” There had been something in his voice over comms, there was everything in his posture and expression now. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, Mom.”
Hands on her hips. “Don’t you lie to my face, young man.”
“I’m not a young man anymore, Mom. I’m tired. I’m going back to the house.” He gestured towards the door. “Scott asked for you. He’s still a little disorientated. Be careful around the subject of Alan, he’s still forgetting his brother is safe.”
Sally grabbed her son’s wrist, a part of her mind registering the differences compared to Gordon’s
‘Worn’ was the word that came to mind.
She sought his eyes with her own. “What is it, Jeff?”
He twisted gently and wrapped her hand in both of his. “Scott needs you, mom.” A distinctly forced smile. “Go look after your grandson.”
Her lips thinned and she took his hand in hers and led him back into the hospital room. She didn’t miss his frustrated sigh.
“Grandma?”
The fear in Scott’s eyes brought her up short. She knew the symptoms of concussion, had even experienced some herself. She had hoped for some improvement.
She dropped her son’s hand and moved quickly to her grandson’s side. He was sitting up and hugging her before she even had a chance to say his name.
His broad shoulders were trembling. “Scotty?”
He didn’t answer, but his arms tightened. His hair brushed her cheek.
Her hands gripped his back, the hospital gown thin and crinkling under her fingertips. “Scott, honey, talk to me.”
A single sob on her shoulder. Harsh breathing. The tremble became a shake.
She clung tighter.
Behind her the door clicked shut leaving them alone together.
-o-o-o-
Virgil needed coffee.
Virgil needed a bucket of coffee. A swimming pool of coffee.
He needed a brother to get well and stop hurting.
Two brothers.
He sighed and leant against the elevator wall. Jeremy, his security guard, politely kept his eyes on the doors.
Virgil closed his. “I’m sorry, Jez. I’m not much company at the moment.”
“Understandable, Mr Tracy. No need to apologise.”
“Thanks for the early start.”
“Part of the deal, sir.”
Virgil opened his eyes at that. “Sir? Since when am I a ‘sir’?”
Jeremy snorted. “You will always be a ‘sir’, Mr Tracy.”
“You’ve never called me ‘sir’ before.”
His security guard smirked. “I use it as needed, sir.”
“Really? Well, quit it, Jez, or I’ll tell Gordon.”
The mock fear on Jeremy’s face did manage to draw out a small smile on his own lips, which was probably the purpose in the first place. “You should be afraid, very afraid.”
Jeremy dropped the fear and grinned just a little. “I trust you with my life, Mr Tracy, sir.”
It was Virgil’s turn to snort. “Would my squire like some coffee?”
Jeremy shrugged. “If Sir deigns it to happen, it will happen.”
Virgil rolled his eyes as the doors opened on the cafeteria floor. “Mocha or latte?”
“Mocha, thanks, Mr Tracy.” But the answer was distracted as they moved into the crowd, Jeremy’s eyes ever vigilant. The bustle around the elevators was tight and Virgil had no patience for it. It was a relief to break through the crowd into the café itself.
The surprise was to find Gerald, another of their security staff, seated at a table just inside the door. “Gerry? Who’s up here?” Virgil’s eyes tracked the tables and the answer was delivered to him as he caught sight of a lone figure in a dark corner. Pulling out his wallet, he fished out his credit card. “How long?”
Gerry was quiet. “About ten minutes, Mr Virgil.”
The credit card was absently passed to Jeremy. “Jez, get yourself and Gerry some coffee.”
“What about yourself?”
Virgil’s eyes didn’t leave the hunched figure of his father. “I can wait. Please give us some privacy.”
“Yes, Mr Tracy.”
He trusted them. They wouldn’t let him or his father out of their sight, but they would give them some distance and confidentiality.
He approached the table quietly, stepping around patrons and chairs. An ignored holoprojector spat the daytime broadcast from one corner, the sound adding to the drone of the room.
“Dad?”
His father startled, but visibly relaxed when he caught sight of Virgil. “You planning on sneaking up on your old man often?”
“I didn’t sneak, Dad. You okay?”
The sigh of frustration that hissed out between his father’s teeth was loud. “Virgil, for the last time. I am healthy and sane. Can you please stop asking? I’m not about to keel over because my day has been less than perfect.” That last came out quite loud and, if anything, was proof that his father was exactly the opposite of what he said he was.
Virgil kept his mouth shut and didn’t respond. Instead he stepped around the table to the opposite chair. “Is this seat taken?”
“Of course not. Sit down.” His father peered up at him. “Did you sleep last night? You look dead on your feet.”
“I don’t think you can talk, Dad. You didn’t even go home.”
Grey eyes levelled a stare at him, but his father didn’t say anything.
“How’s Scott?”
Something flickered through those eyes before they flickered away. “Not good. Your Grandma is with him.” Dad suddenly found his coffee particularly interesting.
“Still disorientated?” Virgil had already harassed the medical staff regarding Scott’s ongoing issues, but the only answers he could get were that his brother just needed time and rest.
It hurt to see Scott so distressed.
“His memory is erratic. He is terrified for Alan.”
Virgil sighed. “I was on my way to see him.”
“Your grandma has him in hand.”
There was something in his father’s voice. He looked up to find his father frowning at the table top. “Dad?”
“I’m sorry, Virgil.” It was quiet and parched.
“For what?”
The table top kept his father’s attention. “For leaving you.”
It was Virgil’s turn to frown. “It wasn’t your fault. We’ve been over this many times, Dad.”
“Yes, we have.” An indrawn breath. “Doesn’t change the fact I left all six of you to fend for yourselves.”
“We’re adults, Dad. We’re likely to do that anyway.”
Grey eyes slowly looked up and glistened in the fluorescent lighting. “Not like this.”
Virgil nearly didn’t hear the words that passed his father’s lips and as the man shook himself and straightened, he got the distinct impression that he wasn’t supposed to.
The engineer straightened his own shoulders in echo. “Dad, what is going on?”
Those eyes caught his for a split second before turning away again. A sigh. “Nothing, son. Now, you need either a bed or a bucket of coffee. At a guess you’re going to go for the latter, no matter what I say.”
Virgil levelled his gaze at his father, not willing to let the conversation drop.
“Exactly.” He stood up. “Name your poison.”
“TRACY!”
Both men jumped and on the other side of the room the two security officers leapt to their feet.
“How dare you challenge me, Francois Lemaire, in such an infantile manner. If you think I will go down without a fight, you are mistaken. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, I say!”
It took Virgil too many alarmed seconds to realise it was simply the ‘projector in the corner yelling the challenge across the café. Lemaire was outlined in light talking to a reporter. “I will not surrender. You hear me, Tracy? This is war!”
Virgil stared at the hologram.
What the hell?
-o-o-o-
End Part Four
#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds#thunderbirds fanfiction#Gordon Tracy#Grandma Tracy#Jeff Tracy#Virgil Tracy#Scott Tracy
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Voir Dire (N.H.)
A fake dating OU about contracts, soulmates and risking it all for love
Masterlist // Tell Me What You Think!
nineteen
Niall was hammered. More hammered than he'd ever been in recent memory. He was hammered and lonely, and that was a miserable combination.
It all started at the after party for the announcement of his tour. It was supposed to be a happy moment in Niall's life, but instead he'd never felt lower. He'd never felt lonelier. What should have been a celebration, an event to kick off his favorite part of being a musician in the first place, had once again become a reminder of the state of his emotions and a catalyst for drinking away his feelings.
It had been a month since Kelsey tore his heart apart. Yes, tore was the best way to describe it, because Niall wasn't sure there would ever be a way to stitch it back together again. He'd had his heartbroken before, but never like this. Never in a way he didn't see coming.
Usually, music was the one thing Niall could always count on getting him through his emotions. For Niall, music had always been the bandage to his open wounds, providing cover for him as he slowly healed. His past heartbreaks had produced some of his best songwriting and cured his broken heart in the process. But for some reason this time, every note sounded out of key, every lyric seemed inadequate and soon, he couldn't bring himself to play a single chord.
His songwriting wasn't the only thing suffering. Heartbreak had drifted into every aspect of his life. He'd found red carpet appearances unbearable, he struggled to make it through interviews, and his fans had been picking up on his lack of social media interactions. And then there was the Range Rover incident. A night when Niall's emotions got the better of him, so much so that he'd lost his focus on the road, resulting in him having to abruptly swerve to avoid hitting another vehicle. This, of course, resulted in his Range Rover meeting a large metal telephone pole. The scariest part of that night was that Niall didn't feel a thing. There was no adrenaline kicking in, no fight or flight response, his body stayed numb. And even a TMZ headline and a call from Alan Michaels asking what the hell was going on with him couldn't get Niall to care.
The only person that had kept Niall out of hitting full on disaster, Britney Spears circa 2017, was surprisingly- Krystal. She'd saved him a few too many times from being a drunken mess on the red carpet of an awards show. She'd shoved his drunk ass into limousines after their "dates", when Niall had downed tequila shots like they were juice instead of slowly sipping on wine. She'd answered interview questions with a smile, about their relationship, about music, about anything that Niall couldn't find the words to answer. She didn't know about things with Kelsey, not officially- but somehow she did. He was grateful for Krystal. Saving a heartbroken former boybander from a downward spiral wasn't part of her job.
And here she was again tonight, helping him find his way home after he had a few too many rounds of Guinness at the tour announcement party.
"Basil could have brought me home you know," Niall slurred, his bloodshot eyes meeting Krystal's in the backseat of the Uber. Niall wouldn't admit it, but he was happy that it wasn't Basil driving him home again. He wasn't sure he could deal with another one of Basil's attempts to find out just what exactly was driving his star client to rock bottom.
"I know," Krystal replied, the glitter in her eyeshadow catching in a passing street light. "But I wanted to make sure you got back." She offered Niall a soft smile.
Niall gave her an appreciative nod, then leaned his head back, resting it between the black leather seat and the window. His eyes grew tired, and he closed them in an effort to stop the world from spinning. He'd only passed out a few minutes before he hears Krystal's hushed voice next to him.
"I told you, I can't tonight. I had a prior commitment," she whispered, her tone laced with irritation.
Niall couldn't make out the words being said on the other end of the phone. But from what his altered mind could comprehend, the person on the other and was yelling. He opened his eyes, squinting in attempt to alter the blurred image of Krystal in front of him.
"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, okay? Promise," Krystal paused. Niall watched as her face began to relax once more. "Good night." And with that she hung up the phone, setting it down in her lap and running a hand through her hair while letting out an exasperated sigh.
"That your boyfriend?" Niall slurred. He knew it was an inappropriate question, him asking about Krystal's love life. He also knew it wasn't a question he should be asking in front of an Uber driver who may catch on to the fact that Niall is supposed to be Krystal's boyfriend. But the alcohol had made him speak his mind and he couldn't comprehend the consequences.
Krystal turned to look at him. Obviously not aware that Niall had regained consciousness and was listening to her conversation. "I don't know if you could go as far as to say that," she rolled her eyes just a little. "It's complicated."
"Well if you want him to be your boyfriend you should tell him Krystal," Niall said grandly, as if he had just had a genius breakthrough.
Krystal shook her head, "That easy huh?"
Niall got the feeling that Krystal wasn't going to reveal much more information. He wasn't sure if that was because she wasn't in the mood to discuss her love life or if she was trying to shelter his already emotional state from anymore mentions of love. So he loosened the tie around his neck and turned his attention to the road ahead of him, the Los Angeles streets empty at this time of night.
Krystal broke the silence, turning to face Niall again. This time her face is filled with worry. "Don't say anything to Capitol about it will you? I don't think there's anything in my contract about it but, I can't lose this job."
Niall laughed. "You think I'd tell those bastards anything? Your secret's safe with me," he held out his pinky. "Pinky promise."
Krystal gave a small smile, sticking her finger out to meet Niall's he wraps them together. "Don't think you'll remember in the morning anyways," she giggled to herself with a raise of her eyebrow.
"What do you mean, my mind is as clear as an Irish summer day!" Niall feigned astonishment.
"Sir, I seem completely sober to you don't I?" he reached a hand out to tap their driver on the shoulder. Krystal's eyes grow wide with embarrassment. The man, gives him a hesitant nod, which leads to Niall's cackles filling the air. He realizes that it's the first time in weeks he's let out a laugh.
"Sure it is," Krystal responds with a laugh, shaking her head.
When the Uber pulls into Niall's house a few minutes later, Krystal grabbed Niall's arm in an attempt to help him out the car. He stumbled towards the door, letting out an obnoxious thank you towards the Uber driver as Krystal waved him goodbye.
"Let's get you some water," she said as she leads him inside, setting Niall on the couch before making her way towards the kitchen. Niall heard the tap water run from his position, and soon Krystal returns with a glass of fresh water. Niall sat up and took the glass from her hand, bringing it to his lips and drinking the liquid in big gulps.
"Are you okay?" Krystal asked, her voice hesitant as if she wasn't sure she even wanted to ask. There was a look of concern flashing onto to her face, her forehead crinkling in the middle.
The real answer to Krystal's question was a resounding no. Niall wasn't even close to being okay and he didn't know if there was anything that would make him okay again. But even in his less than sober state, Niall wasn't about to speak freely about his inner struggles. Instead, he flashed Krystal a cheeky grin and said, "Just need some water, aspirin and sleep in me and I'll be good as new in the morning love."
"Listen Niall..." Krystal looked down at her fingers. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but if you ever need someone, I'm here. You shouldn't have to struggle alone."
"Thank you," Niall replied softly. "And thanks for saving me from looking like a hot mess half the time."
Krystal's lips half smile. "That's what friends are for."
A friend. Niall had misjudged Krystal all that time ago. While Kelsey could never see past Krystal as the villain in her love story, Niall had come to see that she was far more than an actress hired to play his girlfriend. She was a person that had Niall's back.
Krystal stood abruptly from the couch, glancing down at her phone. "Uber will be here in five minutes," she muttered more to herself than to Niall. She turned her attention back towards Niall, who was slowly beginning to feel himself crash again. "Get some rest, okay?" Krystal gave Niall's arm a comforting pat, before making her way towards the door.
It was later that week when Krystal called Niall sobbing. He didn't know what came over him; maybe it was the fact that Krystal didn't have anyone else or maybe it was because he was trying to return the favor, but thirty minutes later Krystal was standing on his doorstep, and even in the darkening sunset he can see her red, puffy, make-up-free eyes.
"Come in," he said, opening the door and letting Krystal in. She stepped inside, sliding off her sneakers on the entry way rug.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call," she apologized as she followed Niall towards the living room. Krystal sat down, pulling down the sleeves of her crewneck sweatshirt before crossing her arms in front of her.
"Don't apologize, what good of a friend am I if I turn you away in your moment of need?" Niall sat down on the couch next to her, his shoulders just brushing Krystal's.
And so Krystal began to pour her heart out to Niall. She told him about Eric, the minor league baseball player she had been seeing on the side. About how it had all started out as a friends with benefits situation until Krystal started to catch feelings. She told Niall that she'd his drunken advice about simply telling Eric that she wanted him to be more today, and that Eric had promptly kicked her out of his apartment, yelling her for trying to turn some good sex into something more complicated.
And as Krystal cried into Niall's shoulder, her tears turning the blue of his t-shirt into navy, he reached his arm around her and gently rubbed her back. "I'm so stupid," Krystal sobbed. "I should have none that he wouldn't want anything more, but I was just so lonely and he was someone and..." Krystal looked up at Niall, her eyes meeting his. "I'm sorry you're the last one I should be complaining about a broken heart to. I wasn't even with the guy and..."
"Krystal," Niall interrupted her before she can continue. "Look at me."
She grew quiet, looking up at Niall, her hazel eyes meeting Niall's blue ones. "Stop comparing your heartbreak to anyone else's. If you hurt, you hurt okay? That's not wrong or insensitive. And this guy... well quite honestly, if he couldn't see what a beautiful person you are, inside and out, well that's his problem okay?" He brought his thumb to the corner of her eye, wiping away a stray tear.
Krystal nodded. "You're a good guy Niall," Krystal said softly. "She made a mistake, letting you go."
"They both did," Niall whispered, looking Krystal in the eyes.
He didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was that they were both hurting. Two broken souls in need of something, anything to take the pain away- even if only temporarily. But the sun was shining through the window illuminating Krystal's golden locks, and his eyes have focused on the pink of her lips, and it was like he'd suddenly seen Krystal in a whole new light. And before he could realize what was happening, his lips were on Krystal's and his hands were fumbling with his belt, and he was leading her up the stairs to his bedroom and it all happened so so fast.
When their done, Niall couldn't help but feel like something was eating the inside of his stomach alive. He wasn't sure if it was guilt or pain or fear, but it lingered as he laid there, with Krystal's head on his bare chest, her fingers combing through his hair. For a moment, he imagined he would look down and see her-that chocolate brown hair that always smelled like a hint of lavender. But it's blonde hair sprawled across his torso, and the ache in his chest was still there as strong as ever.
He thought that this would make him feel better. Relieved. That maybe two aching hearts would come together for a moment and not ache anymore. But all he can see is her. Her smile, her laugh, the way she looked when she first woke up in the morning, her hair sticking up on the side. And then Niall thought about what she would think, about him wrapped up in the sheets with the very person who she always feared. The insecurity that haunted their relationship from the moment Kelsey learned about the contract.
Niall wanted to feel some sense of payback. Like him sleeping with Krystal was the eye for an eye of Kelsey breaking his heart. But he didn't feel like he'd won the battle. He just felt like he'd stabbed himself in the chest all over again.
Niall wondered if he should say something. If he should apologize to Krystal for what had clearly been a mistake, a temporary lapse in judgement in the name of emotions. But before he even has time to think of the right words Krystal has jolted upright.
"Oh shit," Krystal muttered, jumping out of the bed. "I always miss that darn alarm, where's my purse." She grabs her t-shirt from the side of the bed and rushes out of the room, and as she leaves, Niall can't help but notice that the pit in his stomach is worse.
Tag List: @awomanindeniall , @ihearthemcallingforyou , @niall-is-my-dream , @stylishmuser , @thicksniall
#didn't mean to leave you hanging for a month#but we are getting close to the chapters that I have had written for FOREVER#which means quicker updates#please don't hate me too much after this one#voir dire#nh#writingby1dfangirls35#niall horan#niall horan fanfiction#niall fanfiction#niall ou#1dff#one direction fanfiction#fake dating ou#secret relationship ou#niall x ofc#NH x ofc
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Up From the Depths P.2 - Re-Review #33
Look at that scenery! It gets me every time, I will be honest.
“This is Thunderbird One in immediate pursuit of The Mechanic.”
“I’ve got you Thunderbird One. Thunderbird Five is tracking you at a thousand metres and closing.”
“The TV-21... I haven’t seen it since I was a kid. It’s just as cool as I remember.”
“Please use caution, Scott. The Mechanic must be piloting remotely. That means he’s got nothing to lose.”
“Except Dad’s old plane he’s carrying.”
“Scott, there’s a safe area up ahead. You could knock out the TV-21 and bring down the plane with zero civilian causalities.”
“No way, Thunderbird Five. That plane belongs to us and I’m going to get i back in one piece.”
And that decision causes a load of problems - but had Scott not made that call, the episode would have been quite a bit shorter, and Scott probably wouldn’t have met Ned - and I wouldn’t have been able to write a fic about called ‘When Scott met Ned’, so I’ll go with it.
“Scott, when I designed the TV-21, you’re Dad wanted all the thrust I could give him. That booster is the most powerful I’ve ever built.”
“More powerful than Thunderbird One?”
“Well... yes.”
“Thunderbird One is going down!”
Grandma being able to give Scott those instructions makes a lot more sense now the whole series has aired. When we first saw this episode, I was a little bit like.. explanation please? (Because based on TOS Grandma; she didn’t seem the type to fly). But, it’s okay, they came through and gave it to us.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let the TV-21 out of my sight.”
We know you won’t John.
“Thunderbird Shadow moves fast and quiet. He won’t hear me coming.”
And another Kayo ‘I can totally manage a solo mission moment’. Yeah, remember one of the last ones? As in the nearly dying part (’Touch and Go’)? Clearly not. Is it just me, or is that getting a little bit repetitive and annoying now? I really found that Kayo had an attitude in this two-parter.
I for one, am very glad Grandma called in some assistance.
“Hello, Dear? Are you busy?”
“Never too busy for you, Mrs Tracy.”
“How would you like a second chance to get The Mechanic?”
“I’d enjoy it more than Parker likes complaining about the weather. Scotland, Parker.”
“Right haway, M’Lady. hOf hall the places to ‘ide hout ‘e picks the rainy hone.”
Parker, I’d like to claim that such might actually be me, down here n the South West coast. Hello, always rains down here... except it’s actually really nice right now. I claim it’s the lack of pollutants affecting the air quality and atmosphere. But’s that’s just one girl’s theory.
Look at his face, his poor little face. Thunderbird Four really is in a state though...
“What do you think?”
“I think we have a lot of work to do.”
Scott looks so sad, sat back at his dad’s desk, bless him. Knowing him he’s probably reliving the fact that he failed to get the TV-21 back. He’s always too hard on himself. Anyone else remember the events of ‘Recharge’? Virgil, come give him another talking to, please.
“I get that everybody loves the TV-21, but it’s just a plane.”
“It’s also a symbol of your Father’s determination. Ever since he was a boy, your Father dreamed he’d be the fastest pilot who ever flew.”
“So he and Brains built the TV-21?”
“It was beautiful! Dream come true!”
“Until The Hood crashed it.”
“But he didn’t crash his dream. Your Dad didn’t care about being fastest anymore. He only cared about being first. First on the scene when people need help. First to act when someone’s in trouble. And instead of one ship to do it all, he built five. The TV-21 was the beginning of International Rescue.”
“We need to get that plane back!”
That’s the spirit, Alan!
I’m loving all these scenes on Tracy Island in this episode just to say. Definitely another reason why it makes it into my favorites. It’s an episode which really succeeds in making the boys both human and heroes and I will endlessly love how well written this family was in this two-parter.
“What’s the situation, John?”
“The Mechanic’s craft has stopped over the GDF’s high security iridium vault. The GDF are responding now.”
Because we all know how well that will go down...
“All personnel have been evacuated, Colonel Casey. Except one.”
“Well get him out of there.”
“He said he won’t leave. He’s afraid of losing his job. Oh, and he told to say ‘Gladys won’t go either’.”
“What’s his name?”
I think we already know the answer.
“A crewman. Tedford. Ned Tedford.”
“Oh boy.”
Called it!
“No one’s stealing the world’ supply of iridium, Gladys. Not on our watch!”
That’s right everyone! It’s our favourite gold member of the Rescue Club! Ned Tedford and Gladys!
“Phew, Gladys. I thought we were in trouble there for a second.”
Yeah, Ned you kinda are... See I told you, never leave the GDF to handle things. I bet Colonel Casey is really regretting allowing Virgil to convince her to give Ned a “nice cozy desk job” with the GDF.
I love how Colonel Casey just says “there’s a worker inside” - she knew it was Ned, she could have told them it was Ned - it’s even more comical that she chooses not to.
“It’s never even been tested!”
“Brains, whatever it is, will it help us stop The Mechanic?”
“Conceivably.”
“Then we’ll take it!”
Good choice.
Maximum Max is a brilliant new development and one I think Alan really loves - it was like giving the kid more video games to play with. And it gave Scott a chain to go and rescue Ned! Hooray!
“It’s game time!”
Yeah it is! And just look at them go.
In my opinion, this goes down as Scott’s best ever entrance to a rescue.
“It’s International- Arrgh!”
*Has iridium thrown at him*.
Definitely the best entrance.
“Keep your dirty hands off this iridium!”
“Ned Tedford?”
“Oh, it’s you! Sorry about that!”
I think that was meant to be Scott’s line. And the fact Scott can reognise Ned (when we know Colonel Casey didn’t give a name - well, that we heard), means he must have been told a lot by his brothers. Or, that’s the assumption I’ve always made.
“Why am I not surprised? I need you to climb into the airlock.”
“No way! I was told to watch this iridium. I won’t let it be stolen!”
“Uh... it’s already been stolen, Ned. You do realise you’re in space, right?”
I mean, I would hope the floatiness gave that away...
“Hmm... That does explain the floatiness.”
Or apparently not. I am proven wrong. Again.
“But it does not change anything! I’m not going anywhere without this vault!”
And there is another decision that sets the path of the episode. If they could have just rescued Ned and Gladys... I can’t help wondering if they would have stood a better chance at recovering the TV-21, or if it still wouldn’t have made a big enough difference.
“Alan, we’re gonna’ have to retrieve the iridium as well.”
“Scott, that isn’t the mission!”
“It wasn’t, but it is now.”
Always listen to your field commander, Alan, and today that is Scott, and he’s made the call. Whatever you and I may think of it.
The International Rescue theme played on bagpipes was absolutely wonderful!
“hIt’s been cloned! That’s hone hof the ‘ood’s hold tricks!”
“Where do you think he got it from?”
That is a new one... Another thing to add to the list of connections between The Mechanic and The Hood, because that implies a more long term connection than we might have first thought.
And all I have to say here, is poor hAlice! May she rest in peace.
“But it’s Dad’s plane!”
“I know, Alan, but it’s not Dad.”
That quote, will always get me.
Remember what The Mechanic said about taking what he wants? Yeah, well he very nearly took Thunderbird Three down with the TV-21.
“Sorry Dad.”
I think he would always have rather had his sons, than his old plane, sad as it is to have been so close.
“The TV-21 was so close!”
“Dad really loved that plane.”
“Ah, in the end the TV-21 was just a bunch of steel and rivets. Your Father would never have risked failing a mission just to save it. What he really loved was us. All of us. His family.”
So, after all that, Thunderbird Four is fixed, and everyone has gathered together (even John) for a bit of well earned family time. Yep, there are hundreds of reasons to love these last two episodes.
#thunderbirds are go#Darkestwolfx#Re-Review series#Up from the Depths Part 2#Scott Tracy#John Tracy#Virgil Tracy#Gordon Tracy#Alan Tracy#. Grandma Tracy#Parker#Lady Penelope#Kayo#Brains#MAX#The Mechanic#Family Feels#Thunderbird four#Thunderbird One#Thunderbird Three#Thunderbird five#TV-21#Ned Tedford#Colonel Casey#hAlice#TAG
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the law of equivalent exchange
AO3 Link
Word Count: 4182
Just like all my other plot bunnies, this got three times longer than I estimated. Whoopsies. At least I’m fairly proud of this. Another title for this fic could be ‘something that I would love to see happen in the finale but know it won’t so I’ll just write it myself instead.’ I was probably going to write this fic regardless, but @gumnut-logic‘s #FabFiveFeb just gave me one heck of a push to do so sooner than later. Hope you enjoy!
Warnings for The Hood being the creep he is and no-no words. There’s one F-bomb because I can’t seem to not have at least one.
“No! You can’t!”
Alan should probably be focusing on whatever the heck John was yelling at Scott for over the comms (let’s face it, Scooter, you haven’t been making the rashest decisions as of late), but he barely heard his older brother to begin with. With the blood rushing to his ears and his heart reverberating ten times faster than healthy throughout his entire body, all Alan could really focus on was trying not to pass out.
When his body decided to properly function, he tried reaching to turn his comms on as quickly as possible, but the figure he was praying to God to be a hallucination started talking, freezing Alan’s movements completely.
“Now then, Alan, let’s not be rash. I just want to talk. Is that so bad?”
Hand hovering over the button, Alan gulped down any fear he was wearing on his face to glare at The Hood directly in his eyes. If this was the stupid way he was going to go out, then he won’t be going out like a coward.
Against all of his training and judgment, Alan took his hand away from his comm and brought them calmly down to his sides. His whole stance was taut, and he at least hoped he looked more threatening than a lion cub play fighting with its siblings, “I don’t know, I would say it is considering who you are.”
The Hood chuckled, turning Alan’s stomach inside out. Alan just couldn’t understand this man. Ever. The way he slyly grinned as if he were some suave bachelor and not a creepy murderer. Alan tried desperately to cool the nausea in the pit of his gut as his family’s sworn enemy continued to speak, “As an honorable man even I have to admit defeat from time to time. You Tracys beat me fair and square, and the only way I caught up involved cheating. I was surprised I could sneak onto the ship as I did. Very well, Jeff Tracy is yours once again.”
Wait, what?
Alan blinked in shock before his brain caught up to him, making him bring back his glare, “There’s a catch here.”
The Hood raised his eyebrows at the way the boy spoke his words. It was not a question, no, the youngest Tracy stated them as if it were a matter of fact. The Hood’s smile grew wide, “You’re always quick on the uptake, Alan. Even if I lost this race, I did come out all this way. I can’t leave with nothing, not after all the time and effort I gave up. Surely, you understand that?”
Chills fled down Alan’s spine at the speed of the Zero-X. The gleam in The Hood’s eyes slowly morphed into hunger, like a starving lion about to make a move on an ill and weak zebra. Alan was pretty damn sure he wasn’t weak nor ill, and he didn’t feel like growing black and white stripes at the moment.
The Hood stood to his full height, “Have you ever heard of the saying “An Eye for an Eye”?”
Alan’s glare dropped off his face and went right back to the wide-eyed fear he had at the start, making him look a few years younger than he was. Screw looking fierce, he needed help. He needed his brothers.
Once again, he reached to get to his comms. Even if it were only one word, one second, one yelp of pain or fear, his brothers would realize something was wrong and come running. He hated it, occasionally, how he would always be seen as the baby, but if it meant getting home and away from this freak, then Alan was willing to be swaddled and rocked to sleep as much as his older brothers wanted.
However, that familiar cold voice spoke out once again, somehow stopping time itself in the process.
“Ah ah ah, Tracy, I thought I told you to be careful with that thing.”
Alan was breathing heavy, minute trembles beginning to show, “G-Give me one good reason I shouldn’t, you m-monster.”
The Hood’s grin turned playful as if what Alan wasn’t getting was supposed to be obvious, “Have you been listening to your brothers’ predicament at all?”
What did that mean?! Shaking his head, Alan, much to his displeasure, started to completely ignore The Hood so he could turn up his comms to listen. Crap, he forgot about why they were even out here! Why haven’t they finished the mission? Why haven’t they been able to find Dad? From the way The Hood was talking, Alan figured the older man was going to let the teenager writhe in agony as he listened to whatever he’d been missing.
Suddenly, a new, semi-unfamiliar voice boomed through Scott’s side of the comms.
“--head that way. If Johnny’s calculations are correct, it should be the path of least resistance.”
That was followed by a louder Scott responding with, “Yes, Father.”
Continued and ended with Virgil stating, “Lead the way, Dad.”
Alan blinked a few times again, the hand he was holding up over the comms suddenly very heavy and stuck in place. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t find it in himself to contact his brothers for help. That was-- it was--
The Hood gleamed with anticipation at the recognition in Alan’s eyes, “If I can’t leave with anything, no one is. I’m positive you don’t want to be the one to ruin this for the rest of your family, do you?”
Ask Alan and he could very easily explain to you that his life could be broken into two parts. The parts had very simple descriptors too: With Dad and Without.
The Zero-X went up in flames before Alan was even ten-years-old, leaving a broken family and a confused child. A child that reacted like any other kid to losing a parent so young. He was sad and scared and for a while he just wanted his Dad to come back, even though his little mind knew it wasn’t possible.
But as the years went on, Alan got used to growing up without his dad in his life. Of course, the blonde missed him, and of course, he would do anything to get him back, but the sad fact of life was that Alan didn’t grow up with Jeff.
He grew up with his four older brothers and his grandma and Kayo and Brains and even Penny and Parker--
You catch what he was saying?
They tried to fill in the gap of a missing father with their own stab at being mock parents for the youngest Tracy. Alan suspected later in life that they did it in an attempt to fill their own gaps and heartbreak.
He would later start to think they failed at that latter objective as well.
That’s where the second part of his life came in to view. His brothers had many, many more years with their dad that they had to realize they would never have again. Scott was trained by Jeff with tips and tricks that nobody else in the Air Force knew. Jeff personally recommended John to the best of the best at NASA. Jeff took Virgil to meet one of the best mechanics in the world at the age of 12. Jeff was at every single one of Gordon’s swim meets to cheer him on.
Alan remembered being tucked into bed and pictures being hung up on the fridge and gold stars for eating his vegetables, and he was going to love getting that back, but he remembered Scott giving him piggybacks even more. John proofreading his papers even more. Virgil letting him sit on the piano bench while the older brother practiced more. Gordon teaching him how to dive into the deep end even more.
He also remembered Scott hiding a bottle of “adult juice” from Alan’s wandering eyes more than once, too many grey hairs for someone in their mid-twenties. He remembered how John was gone more and more, flinching at more and more hugs, only to be swallowed whole by the endless void that is space and Thunderbird 5, barely even being planetside for more than a fourth of the year.
Alan remembered how Virgil got quieter and quieter. Alan remembered the tap shoes, the musical scripts: they were currently collecting dust in the back of a random closet, shoved behind weight lifting gear and medical textbooks instead. And Gordon, his immediate older brother, his partner in crime... Alan wasn’t stupid. He knew Gordon dropped out of college and even the Olympics (after getting a freaking gold medal too!) to join WASP where he was nearly put in a goddamn chair.
Alan has been slowly watching his family barely try to hold it together, and it all started with dark laughter and a ball of fire over the ocean.
His brothers needed their father back, and no doubt Jeff wanted his sons back. Alan would hope he would want all of them too, but...
... After everything his brothers (and even Kayo and Brains and Grandma) have given up, surely Alan could give back, even if it’s just this one thing? Besides, Alan would hate himself forever if he was the reason they couldn’t complete their mission. He tends to feel that way on a failed missions anyway.
Yeah, right, the mission objective: get Dad back. Think of the mission, think of the mission. If that mantra was the only thing that was going to keep him convinced he was doing the right thing, then only he and The Hood would know.
Alan’s voice was breathy. It felt like if he spoke too loud the blood in his ears would make one final rush to try and bring him to la-la land, “... Do you promise?”
The Hood blinked and raised one eyebrow in a motion that spoke, ‘What did you just say? I wasn’t listening that hard in the first place.’
Alan’s trembling was more than minute, yet he forced his voice to be firm and steady this time. His glare was back to being fierce, and the fire in his eyes was redder than his ‘Bird. He enunciated just about every other consonant in his words, “If I go with you, do you promise to never go after them again? Because I know there’s no point in going with you if you just keep chasing them.”
The Hood stared blankly for a moment before his typical, creepy demeanor came back. With a few chuckles that brought physical bile up Alan’s throat, The Hood threw his arms out to his sides to make his point more clear, “Dear Alan, if you come with me there’s no point in doing so. There’s nothing I could do that could be worse.”
Jeez, way to kick a guy while he’s down. Alan flinched but continued to hold his head high, “I want your word.”
The Hood thinned his lips in disappointment. He still complied with Alan in the end, “Once you agree to come with me, I’ll take away what’s disrupting your unique vessel, leave your family alone for the rest of their lives, and then we’ll ‘get the heck out of dodge’ as you all say.”
Ew, that one was bad. He bet The Hood made it bad on purpose, the prick. Alan inhaled before exhaling the longest breath of his life, “Fine. Then you have a deal.” Like a true gentleman (Penny would be proud, right?), Alan held his hand out, initiating a handshake to seal the deal.
Then, suddenly, his watch started ringing. On the hand he was holding out. Alan found himself hating that noise for the first time in his life. Panicking, Alan made sure the hologram that appeared was himself and himself only, “H-Hey, brother! Did you find Dad yet?”
A familiar mop of ginger hair floated in between him and The Hood. Raising an eyebrow, John playfully rolled his eyes at his younger brother’s antics. Yes, let Alan play a little bit. They did just do the impossible, after all, “Actually, Alan, we did. Scotty and Virg are almost back with him. I was calling to let you know.”
That smile... the way John was sarcastically bantering with him... the nicknames... it was all because they were getting Dad back, wasn’t it? Alan felt tears mist his eyes. Their family really would be better off...
“Uh, Allie, you good?” Gordon’s voice rang out a few feet away from John
Crap crap crap. Bring it back, Alan, bring it back! “Uh-- yeah! Don't worry, I’m as cool as a cucumber in the middle of July! Hah...”
John’s eyebrow raise was no longer playful. In fact, it was filled to the brim with concern, “Are you sure? If you’re having trouble finishing up, Gordon could easily come up to help you out.”
Alan registered the strawberry blonde’s mmhhm with growing dread.
Dangit, guys, stop being such moms for once in your lives! “No! Wait--” Alan coughed into his hand to clear his throat. He looked away while doing so and then looked back at John with one of his familiar sly grins, “John, Godrz, I swear I’m good. It just took a little bit more to stabilize this part of the rocket. Just give me a few minutes to finish up and then I will be right there to celebrate with you all, got it?"
John contemplated his brother’s words before conceding. Alan was a trained member of IR. His judgment could even be better than theirs sometimes, “Okay.” John leaned his head out of the hologram for a moment before leaning back in with a cheeky grin, “Hey, don’t let Scott know I told you this, but if you want to rush your diagnostics, go ahead. I won’t blame you.”
Alan felt himself snickering along with Gordon. Yeah, this was the right thing to do, “FAB, Johnny, my lips are sealed.”
With a wave, John cut his video feed, leaving Alan in utter silence. Letting out a sigh of relief, Alan let his arms fall to his sides. Everything was going to be okay. Dad was back and could pilot the Zero-X in his place, his brothers would get back a vital part of their childhoods, The Hood would leave his family alone (Kayo would thank him for that one if she could), and things would go back to what it once was.
... He felt really dirty. He abused John’s trust for a reason his older brothers were going to hate themselves for. Alan was allowed to feel regret, right? Because--
Suddenly, Alan felt an arm around his shoulders bringing his tiny body to be closer to someone else. Okay, Alan wants to take it back, this is awful! God, he might genuinely throw up-- John wait--
“Aw, don’t be like that,” The Hood stated coyly, “After all, it appears we will have plenty of time to get to know one another. Better sooner than later, right?” The laughter that rung out in the room sounded like it came from an 80s sitcom dad.
Sweating bullets, Alan grinned in a way even a literal brick wall would know it was forced. So this is what it's like to walk into the pits of hell, good to know.
---
Scott couldn’t really describe what he was feeling at the moment.
The best word he could come up with was elation because holy fuck:
Dad was finally back.
When he stepped into the cockpit with the rest of his family, the world turned upside down, and in a good way. The first to leap out of his seat was Gordon, of course, but also with tears streaming down his face as he flung himself into his father’s arms for the first time in nearly a decade. Scott couldn’t remember for the life of him the last time Gordon genuinely cried. And he meant genuine, I can’t believe this is happening tears, not Gordon, it’s a fictional movie-- But they’re still puppies, Scott! tears.
Slowly stepping back, Gordon moved out of the way for John, who finally initiated a hug himself with no need for bribery, no need for Scott to promise there’s no ulterior motive behind a goddamn hug. John started talking about what he could add to his room back on the island now that I’ll be down more often and Scott thought himself would burst into tears.
Then there was Virgil. Oh, Virgil, who had the best teddy bear hugs in the entire galaxy, was holding back when it came to his dad as if the middle Tracy squeezed too hard the image in front of him would shatter into itty bitty little pieces that he couldn’t put back together again.
And Scott? Scott felt like he could finally breathe again. His dad being back meant he didn’t have to shoulder, well, everything in their lives anymore. At least, not like before. No more needing to be at every Tracy Industries conference, no more needing to be the constant head of IR relations. Sure, Scott wasn’t going to just drop it all, he’s not an asshole, but one day it’ll be a co-piloted effort, in a sense.
It was also going to be nice to just have an extra head around the house, for more than one reason. Chores won’t be so abundant, Grandma might not cook as often, Scott also needed help getting Alan a geography tutor of some kind, and their dad was always incredible at--
Oh, shit. Wait, where was Alan?
Scott bounded toward his four family members who were currently laughing as if nothing were wrong anymore, “Guys, where’s Alan?”
Both Virgil and Jeff jumped, the beginnings of guilt filling their bodies. Shit, of course, that should’ve been the first thing they asked! Before the self-hate train could leave the station, John waved them off in an attempt to calm them down, “Alan’s down in room C6, remember? We sent him down there to keep the ship stable while you two went out to find Dad’s signal.”
Gordon was wiping away his remaining tears as he grinned his biggest grin ever. He started walking out of the room to where his younger brother was waiting, “Y-Yeah, considering he piloted the rocket, we figured he would be better staying inside to keep it in one piece for the flight home.”
Jeff blinked. Alan did?...
A grin spread across his face at the news, a sharp bark of laughter exiting his chest before he could stop it, “Man, I knew he would be just as you guys one day. I’m just surprised it came so soon!”
Scott blinked at his father before his shoulders relaxed, “Yeah, no kidding. I can’t wait for him to tell you all his stories. Some of them are really killer.”
Jeff directed his grin towards Scott, ruffling the brunette's hair like all those years ago, “Me neither! Lead the way, boys.”
They all mindlessly chatted as they made their way to the youngest’s location, unaware of what was about to befall the family. They got to the place Alan stated he would be at and gave each other one last look. Their expressions were giddy: it felt like they were about to jump out and say Surprise! like one of Alan’s birthday parties.
Scratch ‘like’, it pretty much was that.
The door shhed open to a dark room, sending shivers down the family’s spine and killing the mood instantaneously. “Uh, Allie?” Virgil yelled out into the chillier-than-normal room. Suddenly the lights came on, blinding them for just a second. When they reopened their eyes, everyone’s heart dropped to the floor. Gordon would swear he heard five different, distinct thunks in the future.
Because Alan was very much not in the room, which meant he wasn’t keeping everything 'stable' like he said he would. The older Tracys wouldn’t be freaking out so much (maybe Alan just went to get air somewhere else? Heh) if it weren’t for the fact that Alan’s IR sash was laid on top of the control panel. It would’ve been more reassuring if it wasn’t so neatly folded either, to be honest.
The four brothers didn’t even think as they sprinted over to the scene.
Gordon and Virgil mindlessly grabbed the sash and unfolded it, as if their youngest brother were somehow hiding inside the object that was five times smaller than he was. Scott and John rushed over to the control panel and ran a quick but effective diagnostics to figure out what the hell just happened. Meanwhile, Jeff blinked a few times before gaining a serious look (John would later call it the good old fashion Jeff Tracy rage) as he went to join his two eldest sons in their scramble to figure out the why.
With a few beeps signaling the end of the diagnostic, John flinched before shakily bringing his hand to his chin, “This has been stable for the past 20 minutes...”
Scott bristled in anger, not at John, never at his brothers, but at the implications of those words, “What the hell does that mean?!”
John sharply inhaled before looking his older brother dead in the eyes, an emotion between fear and anger stirring within, “It means, Scott, that Alan was a dirty liar.”
Before Scott could question even further, Gordon piped up from his search of the red sash. His tan seemed much paler all of a sudden, “We... we called Alan right before you guys brought Dad back. He said he had to stay here to make sure everything continued smoothly as he just got it stabilized.”
Jeff could feel the self-loathing rolling off of his sons in waves. He wasn’t sure how to comfort them, though, as he wasn’t exactly sure how to anymore. He was sure he could have, but that idea flew right out the window when Virgil mentioned John didn’t really like surprise hugs nowadays (apparently, he "barely liked hugs longer than 5 seconds in the first place"). His second-born loved nothing more than to be swept off his feet from behind back when, well...
Plus, he has always tried his best to never be a hypocrite. He couldn’t help but feel responsible, just a little bit, “Boys, I can’t help but apologize for everything that appears to be happening. I--”
Before Jeff could continue, or any of his sons could argue with his apparent apology, Virgil finally got sick of the tension and aggressively shook Alan’s sash once more, causing a tiny roll of paper to fall out of the pocket. The one Alan specifically requested Grandma to sew on for him when the senior Tracy got the time.
Every family member present jumped as they felt their stomach rip in half. They all looked around at each other with anxiety clear in their eyes... but Jeff noticed that none of his sons looked at him. Clearly, they weren’t used to him being there just yet. Well, he might as well make up for lost time.
He took a step forward and bent over so he could grab the slip. Before he could blink, Scott snapped out of his funk and grabbed it much faster. Jeff didn’t even have a second to reassure his eldest it was okay before Scott rolled open the slip of paper and read it to himself.
Chaos reigned when his only response was to fall to his knees and drop the horrifying message.
“Scott?!” Virgil cried out. Both he and Gordon ran to their oldest brother’s side to find some way to measly comfort him. Meanwhile, John felt something akin to a panic attack coming on. What could Scott have read that made him react like that? John couldn’t move, so Jeff bit the bullet and finally picked up the note himself.
John was abruptly brought out of his head when he heard his father whimper. Yes, whimper, as if he were a baby deer that just got hit by a speeding car. Moving on autopilot, John walked over to his father’s side as the older man covered his hand with his mouth.
Jeff registered movement at his side. Not looking up, he shoved the note to whoever wanted to read it. More guilt filled the back of his head. He shouldn’t be subjecting his sons to this, he should try and protect them, but he would be lying if he said that didn’t feel pointless.
No, not Alan, not their baby.
Shaking slightly, John gripped the note to the point of wrinkles without looking at it. Inhaling once more, John ripped the bandaid off and read what was tearing his family apart one by one.
John was suddenly thankful he didn’t eat his bagel that morning. The last thing he wanted to do was throw up over all of his remaining family.
Do you remember what the alchemists in the olden days based their theories off of, Jeff?
Don’t worry if you can’t remember, I can just tell you.
It was a little something called The Law of Equivalent Exchange.
I win, Tracy. I always do.
#fabfivefeb#fabfivefeb2020#thunderbirds#thunderbirds are go#alan tracy#jeff tracy#john tracy#scott tracy#gordon tracy#virgil tracy#thunderbirds spoilers#(i mean i guESS)#series: rules of alchemy#fanfiction#fanfic#my post#my fic#(i only feel slightly bad for this)#(in other news guess whos thunderbird three figURE CAME YEAAAAH)
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Another work of the genius that is my kid. She wrote this, I'm just sharing it. Revel in the awesomeness of this...
[AU] Four of the Tracy Brothers are all adopted by Jeff after being orphaned when he is unable to save their parents during rescues from the VERY early days of International Rescue (yeah I know the canon but whatever this is an au). Also this is total trash but I'm too lazy to write this proper proper so here ~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
SCOTT: The first of the boys to get adopted by Papa Jeff is originally from Scotland (Scott-Land), and was orphaned after the tail end of a hurricane left his family home as nothing more than a pile of rubble - and since it wasn't anticipated, the extent of the damage done wasn't heard about until later, after a series of rescues in higher risk locations. By that time, it was too late. When J.T. finally got to the scene, he spent a few hours sifting through the debris for any survivors. By the time the sun had set, seven bodies had been discovered and he was giving up hope, until he heard the unmistakable sound of a baby crying. Wading through to where the nursery used to be, as if by some miracle, there was a perfectly in-tact crib and an infant inside, blocked from the destruction by a large ceiling tile that had fallen, and effectively acted as a shield as the rest of the home toppled down around them. Jeff took the baby in his arms and rushed to the basecamp, refusing to let go of the child during his check-up and the search for any living relatives for him to go to; but all of his living relatives were in the same house, and the little boy had nowhere to go. As J-Dog looked down at those big blue goo-goo eyes, he felt an overpowering sense of guilt, before it was replaced by total determination. He couldn't save his family, so the least he could do was give him a new one - and that's exactly what he did.
VIRGIL: The pilot of the mean, green, thicc flying machine gained all of his culture and artistic tendencies from his country of birth, Italy. A heavy rainstorm saw the canals of Venice break their banks and caused floods throughout the city (it would take them three years to get over it entirely). When Jazzy Jeff arrived, it was a matter of evacuating everyone and minimising the amount of accidents/casualties as much as possible. As roads cracked and buildings became submerged more and more with every passing second, the evacuation order soon developed into a time-sensitive rescue mission. By the time he finally reached Virgil's family, their car was teetering on the edge of a broken road, under which was several feet of water. They handed their newborn son over to him, only just in time before the concrete gave way and the car fell into the murky depths. Another member of the crew attempted to rescue them as Jeff held the child, deja-vu hitting him when his teammate came back to the surface and mournfully shook his head. They were unable to get them out in time, and, same as last time, there were no relatives to take the boy. Ever since the mother handed her son over to Jeff, he had felt a sense of responsibility over the welfare of the child. One look at the chonky little thing confirmed what he had been feeling in his heart all along: Scott now had a brother.
JOHN: Irish-born John's adoption was a little different to the other two, but a rescue all the same. Big Daddy J had a conference in the Emerald Isle, and on his way back to his hotel the same night, he came across a car that had crashed into a tree on a fairly deserted road. The only survivor was in the back seat, and was the toddler son of the two adults in the front. The child was old enough to be semi-aware of what was going on around him, so while Jeff attempted to remove him from the wreckage, he told him to "just do one thing" for him - "look at the stars, just look at the stars". The blonde boy did so obediently, and as they waited for the emergency services to arrive, he told the tot about all of his adventures in space. Even though he probably didn't understand what he was saying, tiny John was still absolutely hooked. Once at the hospital, the parents were confirmed deceased and further checks revealed that his grandparents were unable to look after him. Just because he wasn't wanted by his family, however, didn't mean he wasn't wanted by others. After cancelling his flight back the next day, Jeff once again went through all the necessary steps. When he returned back to America, his seven-year-old and his four-year-old were greeted with their new brother, and his wife and mother with a new son and grandson, respectively.
GORDON: Born and raised in Australia, Gordon's parents were adventurers that never seemed the type to settle down and stay in one place for one time. When International Rescue was called for an outback recovery, it seemed like a stupid prank when the campsite the call originated from was found to be empty. The fire had burnt out, several items had just simply been discarded on the floor, and it appeared that the tents were empty at first glance - but on closer inspection, it revealed that the bundle of cloth in the corner was actually a sleeping baby. They waited for any other people to arrive, but after a few hours, decided to take the baby to the hospital. With no records of him, there wasn't much they could do except confirm that he was healthy. All it took was one look into those big, brown, cow-like eyes and Jeffo knew that for the fourth time in ten years he was bringing home another baby.
ALAN: The youngest son, and the only biological one of Jeff and Lucille. When they first learnt of his conception, they were quick to assure the other boys that they weren't any less special than him because they weren't related by blood. The only response they recieved came from an eleven-year-old Scott remarking that yeah, they knew, because they had been chosen, which made it even more special. Each of the boys came from different backgrounds, but thanks to Jeff and his "Batman Syndrome", they were all united as a single family (until Lucille died and shit went down). The End.
BONUS: After rescuing Buddy and Ellie for the umpteenth time, they and Gordon dissolved into small talk as Virgil flew them home in Thunderbird Two. It was the first time they had rescued them in Australia, and the second-youngest Tracy couldn't help but notice that there was something odd about the couple's demeanour this time around. Usually, they were high-spirited after a rescue, talking about their next dangerous adventure or the new season of their show. They still spoke with a certain degree of excitement, but their hands were interlocked on Buddy's knee, and there was something that looked like... sadness? in both of their eyes when they looked at each other. Eventually, he couldn't help himself. "Hey, listen, I know it's not my place to ask, but... are you two alright?" Buddy opened his mouth to respond, but he was quickly interrupted. "I don't mean because of the rescue. I mean that you two are just acting a little - well, different."
Before he could make another comment about it 'not being his place to ask', Ellie gave a wan smile and sighed, ducking her head for a moment. "It's nothing. Only - the last time we were out in that direction, we had to call International Rescue out, too. It was a long time ago, when we were just starting out. I think it was when you were just starting out, too."
Gordon glanced over to Virgil, who reminded him that "International Rescue existed before us, remember?". He nodded before looking back to Ellie; a silent invitation for her to continue her story. Buddy's hand tightened around hers, and she sighed again.
"We had set up camp, had a fire going and was starting to unpack when the wind picked up. It just started latching onto everything, and soon there was this massive dust storm. We tried to stay together, radio'd for help, but we couldn't see anything, we just couldn't. There was no way that International Rescue could have gotten to us, but we didn't care. We just wanted-"
"We wanted them to save our son." Buddy finished for his wife. Gordon nodded, but internally, he was shocked. He had no idea that they had a child. He was about to ask, when Buddy started to talk again. His voice was steady despite the slight waver in it, and his eyes seemed glassy. "He was only young, so - small. We left him in the tent for shelter, tried to find a way to signal for the ship if we could. We didn't even realise we had been walking, until the storm died down and we found that we were nowhere near our camp. And when we got back..."
"Little Stevie was gone." Ellie whispered. "That was our boy, Stevie. Steve. And he was gone."
"What was the year?" Gordon found himself asking, his throat dry. The reply was instant, and it made him swallow heavily to try and remove the lump from his throat. Their dad - Jeff - had never kept anything from them about the way they came to the family. Buddy and Ellie's story, along with the recollection from Jeff and the date... there was only one conclusive answer.
Before he could stop himself, he blurted it out. "I think I'm your son."
#Most awesome teen in the world#Parenting win#thunderbirds 2015#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds fanfiction#thunderbirds au#fan fic stuff#fan fic writing#fan fiction#fan fic ideas
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