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donnerpartyofone · 6 months

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I once found myself foolishly complaining to my old therapist about some deeply unsatisfying exchange I had on tumblr with somebody who had willfully misconstrued what I said and was going after me about what they decided I meant, just because that was what they would rather talk about. You know, the usual. My therapist threw me off my game by just asking my why I post here to begin with, instead of indulging my desire to passionately bitch and moan. She seemed very skeptical about whatever I said, I had the idea that she wanted me to admit that I was either looking for a fight, or attention, or validation from a bad source where I am destined to encounter a lot of friction. (Man o man, if only she knew about the absolutely bonkers and irrational "you are valid" culture we have here...) And I mean, she's right, you ARE destined to encounter a lot of friction on tumblr if you do anything remotely personal with it, but somehow that annoyance can be outweighed by

a) the internal satisfaction of putting your thoughts in order

b) the catharsis of venting, even into the void

c) the small but unignorable possibility that someone will deeply understand what you said, or have something relevant and provocative to add based on their own unique and valuable experience/expertise.

I think about turning off replies all the time now, quite a lot of the time there's someone being rude either on purpose or inadvertently, because they're too obtuse or thoughtless to consider the implications or real usefulness of what they are saying. Sometimes I think about turning off reblogs on everything too, and I'm trying to develop the habit of stopping before I post to ask myself, every single time, how I'm going to feel when some total cretin reblogs something that is obviously either not universally applicable (e.g. just personal in-the-moment venting) or actually not their business (discussion of personal tragedy that you'd think people would have the good sense to leave alone, like just let strangers who need to talk about something do so in peace?). All of these things have happened more and more lately, and I think what would be really great for me is if I developed a much tougher hide, if I developed a mental baleen that filters out all the shit I don't need to care about and lets in all the tasty, nutritious stuff that I'm actually here for, that I like so much that it makes all the chaff totally worth it.

My problem is that I don't have that natural thing that tells you what incoming stimulus is relevant and what you can completely ignore, I'm curious about EVERYTHING especially how other people think and behave. When I hear something insulting or idiotic directed at me I immediately start processing it like it's a mystery that it is my duty to unravel, instead of casually throwing it in the trash like I should. This morning I posted about how I was reminded of a personal tragedy by some stupid thing a business did to me, and I get this complete stranger unloading his own version of that tragedy, only to then condemn me morally for my interaction with the business. Like does he think I'm going to be so humbled by his "direct action" that it's going to change the world? What was the goal besides picking a fight before the sun is all the way up in the sky? Yesterday I posted links to a bunch of film scholarship I published along with some new blu ray releases, literally calling it my life's work, and somebody reblogged it and put in the tags that they don't like one of the movies and they don't know what the other two are. So...what was the point here? Are you planning on buying two expensive collector's editions of movies you don't know by a director you don't like? I mean thanks for promoting my work, I guess if the price of your sponsorship is that you say rude, pointless things that don't mean anything to anyone, then I'll take it? It might have a positive impact on my mental health if I turned off replies and reblogs universally, but then I wouldn't get to hear from any of the smart and nice guys I've met on here who have opened my eyes to all sorts of things. So yeah my Christmas wish or New Year's resolution or whatever is to give a shit much, much more selectively, for the rest of my life.

PS Regarding disagreements on the internet: There is an important qualitative difference between someone saying something you find disagreeable on their own blog, which you don't even have to be aware of if you don't want to, and someone going out of their away to like cross into your yard to start a fight about what's on your blog ~as if~ you had called them on the phone and said it directly to them personally. Most of what you see on the internet doesn't require your input at all, if you don't really have anything to add except your own emotional content. The difference: Learn it, know it, live it!

#the reality is probably just that most people crave attention so desperately that they don't even notice what they're doing to get it #which is an incredibly unattractive quality and unfortunately it is proportionally common

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shoechoe · 1 year

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I'm really sorry about this and I know this is abnormal for me but I really need to vent right now. I might delete this later and everyone can ignore this if they want. I've just been spiralling in my mind for the past few hours and I feel like I have to say something

Cognitively I know that is a really dumb thing to get worked up over and this will come across as irrational- I have really not been having a good last few weeks, and I think this just pushed me over the edge. But a few hours ago I reblogged one of those character poll competitions and, in the tags, called Speedwagon a character that wasn't even that canonically well-written and was mostly just the "meme character" in the fanbase. I actually like him fine, I was just being mean and trying to be light-hearted because I wanted Yasuho to win. (I also wrote a separate post about the real reasons why I just like Yasuho better.)

And then someone reblogged me quoting those tags and went on a several paragraph-spew about how much they loved his character and how I was wrong and compared me to annoying Redditors and such who misinterpret his character, and then people started reblogging that and saying I was wrong. (And to make it worse, now Yasuho is losing and I think it's all my fault.) The person that reblogged from me wasn't being mean or anything or even particularly in the wrong. But seeing it happen totally freaked me out and now I haven't been able to live with myself.

I guess I just don't know why stuff like this always happens to me. Ever since I can remember, whenever I get too comfortable or excited somewhere I always end up saying or doing something that makes everybody angry at me, or make fun of me, or think that I'm stupid. I am never able to live with myself afterward. I have had to leave group chats and stop talking to people because my guilt and embarrassment gets too unbearable to ever face anybody there ever again. And this is the first time something like this has ever happened to me on this Tumblr.

I know nobody else did anything wrong and I brought this upon myself for being a stupid loudmouth on another post. I really don't know why I thought saying that was a good idea. But I cannot stand the thought of everyone being mad at me and I feel like I always have to consciously and carefully tone down and consider every word I say so people don't get mad or make fun of me to the point where I am never comfortable anywhere. And even then, I always end up slipping up eventually. I don't know if that means that I'm stupid and have bad opinions or what, but I am so sick of doing this every single time I try to branch out and interact with other people. I am so sick of it.

I am really sorry for posting this. I just don't have anyone else to talk to and I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm not deactivating or anything, but it might take me a while to feel better enough to start posting again, so I might take a break for a little bit. If you read all of this, I do hope you have a wonderful day.

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machinedramon · 10 months

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ok I've kind of been able to sit with my thoughts a bit (and I've just woken up so forgive ant incomprehensibility) but I am begging people to stop turning the word "algorithm" into some bizarre boogeyman of websites.

tumblr already has an algorithm. despite every single post out there claiming to the contrary. there has ALWAYS been an algorithm. it just sucks. anyone who has ever seen the For You page, or the posts below a hard link to a specific post, or seen the "we think you'll like" posts on desktop, or even been into a tag will have seen the algorithm at work.

because websites like this literally cannot function without a sorting algorithm.

the problem is that the algorithm is simultaneously inattentive AND hyperactive. trying to find specific posts by their tags is a nightmare because the algorithm ALSO reads post content AND the OP's tags including your own. trying to use the "my art" tag as your own personal art tag on your personal blog that you reblog a ton of art with? get fucked, you're also seeing anything else that the OPs of those posts ALSO tagged with "my art", AND any posts that include the phrase "my art" within the post body.

it's also why u run the risk of posts that you haven't tagged as something ending up in tags. if you write a vent post abt how fans of x media are insufferable, and use the whole name or a fandom acronym of x media, it has the very real potential of winding up in the x media tag. because the algorithm reads post content for tag sorting.

if u click on an op of a post (or to a smaller degree, even look at the post), even to block the OP, the algorithm IMMEDIATELY assumes that This Is The Content You Want To See and floods your recommendations with potentially triggering content. I can't tell you how many hours of my life I've spent mass blocking nazi and proana and terf blogs because they Just Kept Showing Up in my For You page, before they added the ability to block the OP from the post itself. Because you had to interact with those blogs to block them, and the algorithm was too stupid to account for that.

all you ppl out there saying that There Is No Algorithm On Tumblr are flat out wrong and essentially spreading misinformation. this website could not function even as poorly as it does without one. the problem is, once again, the algorithm fucking sucks.

it probably hasn't been updated in any meaningful ways in at LEAST ten years. they probably keep adding clauses to it that allow certain things (such as spontaneously reading tags AND post content to allow for word filtering) but the fact that the core is still trying to run for a website from 2013 is the issue. it very much needs a complete overhaul in order for the site to remain usable.

hopefully as well, upgrading the algorithm to one that is actually made for a more modern website will improve the search function. perhaps tumblr can even figure out how to have both word filtering AND tag-only searching simultaneously.

an algorithm update is a good and necessary thing. the thing we should be demanding is making sure that they don't target specific words for censorship to make the website palatable for advertising.

algorithms are needed for websites with user-made content to run effectively. yall are just reactionaries.

#yall will hear the word algorithm and act like the entire world doesnt run on them #heres my algorithm rant i promised earlier this week i will not be reblogging any algorithm panic going forward

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clover-the-awesomest · 8 months

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Vent??? I guess??? Made for socially awkward ppl I think?????

Disclaimer: I'm not diagnosed with social anxiety or anxiety at all, and have adhd instead, and thus I'm just. Terrible at social interactions. This post is made for people who just want an explanation for why they struggle with social interaction and it's also just a way to get my feelings out myself. I'm not trying to assume anything about anyone!

And also, this post is an extension of this reblog:

You don't need to read it, but if you want then sure. Most of the context is in the tags I wrote tho so... Yeah.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you're mentally okay.

I hate being nice sometimes.

Being friends with people who have seen/gone through some fucked up shit or are just mentally insecure is the norm for me. None of my friends are sane. I'm no different, having been basically raised by the internet and mentally neglected in school for a few years. (Not in highschool tho) There are times where I can relate to my friends heavily, and times when I question whether or not they need like 3 therapists. We typically just like to make insensitive and dark-humored jokes via discord though, since my dry sense of humor works well with theirs. It always works out well...

Until I we end up talking about serious issues in life.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than willing to listen to them when they need to vent about something or get any pent-up sadness out there. They listen to me info-dump all the time, so it's only fair I listen to them too. It's just basic human empathy!

However, I'm terrible at just. Talking to people normally. I cannot hold a regular conversation about real life even if it would save me from some kinda imminent danger! I hate having to talk about anything but my hyperfixations because I then just don't know what else to talk about. So when my friends start venting or asking for advice on something, I freeze up.

I overthink. I freak out. I panic. I feel the need to say something, anything to my friend, because they are my friend and they need support! But nothing comes out of my mouth. I stutter, I sputter, I start treating the situation like a college-level math equation because the situation is so goddamn deep and it's all so complicated and then all of a sudden they look at me like they expect me to say something and I can't say anything because my brain can't process what they're talking about and I just don't know how to react and I don't know what to say and if I do say something it'll be along the lines of "I can't relate" or "I'm sorry" or "I don't know what to say about that" and all of those options are so stupid and so rude and will end up ruining our dynamic/relationship because I acted out of line and I didn't do the right thing and I assumed something about their issues and I'm a failure and I'm stupid and I should've kept my mouth shut and I'm gonna lose them forever and I made them feel worse and now I feel worse and-

...

I don't get stressed easily. I'm not level-headed in the slightest, but I don't really freak out about a lot of things. I'm always just indifferent about things.

It's painful for me when I'm stuck in these situations though because I actually start internally freaking out! I never know what to say or do, even with people I've known for years! I'm not in any bad blood with my family. I'm not in desperate need of a therapist. I'm not suicidal and I sure as hell don't have depression. My life is relatively normal compared to all my friends, who all have some sort of physical and/or mental problem, so I never know how to act when they bring up their issues. I internally panic and I beg whatever holy being I feel like worshiping that I find the words, but they never come. So I just end up feeling like a jerk, like we shouldn't be friends and that I'm the worst person in the world.

I know it's all in my head. I know these fears and insecurities are irrational. I know that they probably are glad that I just listened in the first place. But sometimes, it's all just too much.

So in short, I hate being nice sometimes.

I'll be honest, this was all just me venting on fuccin Tumblr of all places, and I do wish I could provide any comforting words for those who feel the same and need to hear something nice. But true to my own words, I just don't have anything to say. I do believe that you, the reader, can get better and I do have hope for others who struggle with social interaction, because it's just a small issue in the grand scheme of things and it doesn't truly matter. For me though? I got nothing. I don't have any hope for me. I'm just doomed to the internet for all of eternity.

All I can say, is that you should keep your head up and not lose hope with these kinds of things. Don't worry about every little syllable, don't stress over every single word. Chances are nobody will give a crap and they'll just be happy that you listened. The worst case scenario is that they'll tell you what you said was insensitive. That's it. Someone's told me that before, and it sucked, but it truly is the worst that can happen, and you'll likely get over it soon. So again, don't worry over every little thing. It's alright, everything's okay, and it will be okay.

You don't have to like being nice all the time.

#Thank you so so much for reading this hunk of junk lol #I'm so sorry about how long it was. Did not expect it to get so out of hand so quickly. I just needed to get things out.#You can add thoughts in comments and/or reblogs if you want idc #I'll read and respond #Love you platonically!#gtg bye #blog/ask stuff #angst

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zourried · 2 years

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I have come here to vent and it’s not your fault. Why any person from a small blog says their opinion, people here don’t listen but when is it a big blog, they do? Even if it’s the same thing. I saw the Harry being in Lima talk before in a small blog but people didn’t pay attention because it was a small, but they’re rbing now because you’re big. The same thing happens with opinions or narratives; a small blog says it in their blogs or in an ask, and it’s irrelevant but a big blog says it and “wow this is a revelation we didn’t think about this before” even if that big blog has copied what a small blog has said (I’ve seen it). How many followers do you need to have to be listened by your mutuals or friends?

Uhm, okay let me honest here. I did talk about it when it happened (in tags), some other big blogs made some jokes about hl in Perú, I just never made a post about it. I got that anon and I decided to come out of denial and address it.

People on twitter talked about it a lot! With hundreds and thousands of interactions. That doesn’t happen all the time here. You can work on something for hours, post it and it will flop and you can post the most stupid joke ever and it will get hundreds of notes. It’s partly the reason we love tumblr! Its algorithm sucks. That’s why we don’t even know how many followers others have!

So maybe, talk to people? Talk in the tags a lot. That gives the blog you reblog from the opportunity to get inside your brain. And just enjoy your time. This is literally tumblr.com, you have a blog dedicated to two white rich men who don’t know about you but that you support and love with your entire heart. We’re all here for the same reason. Get out of your head for a bit. It shouldn’t matter how big some blog is.

But if you see a good post that is underrated again, send it to me on anon.

#asks #anons #okay then #next time: free therapy at @larrieconfessions

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blakelywintersfield · 3 years

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Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

#safety #internet safety #minor safety

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jimines · 3 years

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Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused

This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.

Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:

It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.

Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.

This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.

About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time.

After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:

To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.

Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it.

She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.

Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:

Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?

Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers.

Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.

Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.

That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.

Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:

And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out.

I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.

And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.

But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with.

I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.

There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced.

And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.

My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.

I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.

Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.

#anon #replied💌#tw:negativity #drama #long post #read at your own risk aha #its a shit show #idc if you rb it #pinning temporarily for the next day(sih)#ish*#edited with screenshots and whatnot that i forgot i had on my phone lmao

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fectless · 3 years

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(This is technically in response to the post right below this one, as world building totally counts for it, right?)

Anywho, more fandom thoughts, but for BLEACH this time. I recently started rewatching the anime again for the nth time as part of my language practice (and having the Japanese subtitles on while watching it in Japanese is an experience) and reached that episode where Aizen and co. get rescued by Menos Grande after declaring their intentions to Soul Society. And then a few things hit me.

The first: Rukia says, the first time Ichigo sees her sending someone on via Soul Burial, that one neither feels hunger nor gets sick in Soul Society. We know that this is false for a few reasons.

Those who can become shinigami definitely need to eat and all souls need water which implies that they can suffer from thirst (and perhaps heat exhaustion).

Captain Ukitake is suffering from an unknown disease that makes him literally cough out his lungs. I’ve read something about it being a defect in the make up of his soul that is only not killing him because of the pact with the Soul King’s arm, but I cannot recall if this was canon or fanon (as the Blood War arc was just like that). If so, does this mean that sickness does occur in Soul Society, but so rarely as to not be mentioned? Or does it occur more in the outer districts? Why does it occur?

Hisana died from a sickness as well. Yes, it’s stated to be exhaustion, but I feel like that doesn’t make sense? Like, the flashback in the anime has her abandoning Rukia after she collapses while carrying her around. And she collapses later when she regrets this and goes to look for her sister. And then she dies.

Seriously, why does it occur? It’s weird. And it cannot be an Aizen thing as I’m pretty sure Aizen is younger than Ukitake. Is it because of what happened to the soul king? Does it have something to do with when people get sent on (like if they were close to being a hollow)? Is it because they died while sick? Is it because of their resolve?

...Do we never see sick souls in Soul Society other than them because they usually just. Die pretty soon after arriving?

And if spiritual power leaking is what causes spiritual pressure, and the “vents” can be closed... do people in the districts sometimes close them by mistake and then blow up? Is spontaneous combustion a thing in the afterlife?

The second: I’m pretty sure “Ichirin no Hana” is a love song that Byakuya is singing to Hisana’s memory.

Someone has probably stated this before, but the lyrics of the song literally say how some one, a “single flower,” is precious and can’t be replaced. How that flower bloomed despite being stuck somewhere dark and how they looked lovely but like they were about to wither away. And that the singer would accept all of their pain if only that person would smile and stay with them...

The title of the song also matches the title of the chapter in which Byakuya reveals to Rukia the secrets he’d been keeping from her about Hisana. He uses the same words, “ichirin no hana” to describe the season in which she died

Literally his whole dilema during this arc, the entire way he interacted with Rukia up to this point, was that he was conflicted between his sense of duty (to his parents, his wife and keeping his word) and his feelings for his beloved Hisana. Rukia’s physical resemblance to her sister is almost uncanny and the lie she is told when she asks why she was adopted was, “You look like Byakuya’s late wife.” How much must he have hated that? A person whom he had sworn to protect that, had she arrived two years earlier might have saved his wife’s (after)life? A person that looks just like his beloved, who reminds him of her every time he sees her (for those first 50 years), but is not and never will be Hisana. And then. To know that she’s going to be executed for crimes, that she felt she could not rely upon him enough to even let him know she’d encountered trouble in the human world when he’s been doing his best to ensure she’s safe (because that is one of the few reasonable explanations for why Rukia hadn’t been promoted yet, and then was promoted during the 3 year gap)? To see her stripped of her rank, her strength even (with that collar and the stone of the prison tower). To see a small form who so resembles his beloved all listless and soon to die, wearing a white yukata like his wife had in her last days...

Watching it again made me feel things, okay? Like yeah, it seems like it’s a stupid dilema from some perspectives. Especially considering Central 46 had a run in with Aizen by then, but. Byakuya was raised in the Seireitei. He was raised knowing that his life was the Seireitei’s tool. That his duty, his reason for existing was for the sake of his family’s honor, so he must be composed, must act as the family and Soul Society bid him. That’s some mighty powerful brainwashing/indoctrination right there. And he broke it once already to marry some nobody from the slums. He did something not only against the norms, but something selfish. Maybe if she’d had high spiritual power this would have been accepted, but she was sickly and likely did not. He went against the clan elders who had probably instilled obedience in him since birth and was afraid of doing it again.

(And if you count the filler arcs, you can bet that they held that one Kuchiki who went traitor against him too. Like: “he married that Hisana girl against our orders? What next? Will he betray Soul Society too?”)

And maybe I’m making a bigger deal out of his upbringing than I need to. Maybe it wasn’t really like this. But I feel like it really was. (Moreso with the filler arcs and what I’ve heard of the light novels.)

Also, this song and the way that the opening animation fit together really solidifies the whole “Ichigo and Rukia were always meant to have a tragic romance” vibe that I kept getting the first time I encountered this series.

The third: Rukia was likely younger than six months (physically) when she was abandoned, but I’m pretty sure that she was older than three months when she and Hisana died.

Her blanket was pink in the flashback.

Sure, the above might not seem to have much significance but it’s been proven in canon that clothes are part of oneself. I reblogged a post a while ago that went into detail, but to sum it up, clothes are part of your self image and your self image determines a bit about what you look like when you die.

Babies are usually no longer swaddled by the time they’re six months old, and some places recommend that you stop by the end of their second month.

Babies have pretty bad vision when they’re born. They take four to six months to reliably track objects in motion and use binocular vision decently. They take about four months to see across a room, and about two months to see farther than maybe 30 cm away. And around the three month mark, they start having decent color vision. Around then is when babies supposedly start showing color preference.

Babies tend to have poor long term memory. (To be fair, they’ve got a lot going on compared to being in the womb and sensory overload sucks.) Their memory by the age of six months is only a few weeks. Two months old had a memory span of a few days.

If she’s been consistently wrapped in a pink blanket, then by the time she’s old enough to see color, she would be old enough to remember what color her blanket usually is— or if it was a different color that particular day.

The fourth: when Gin raises his spiritual pressure on Aizen’s orders, Chad remains standing. This raised a bunch of questions as Gin is stronger than Yammy (to the best of my memory).

Chad remained standing. Yes, his whole fight with Captain Kyouraku was about his resolve and how he would stand by his friends and fight for their safety/ideals but. Like. Earlier that year, his spiritual strength was on par with Yuzu. He’d been friends with Ichigo for years which was why he was even that strong. He’d been in a Hollow attack maybe three times before Rukia was arrested and could only barely see them the time Ishida pulled a stupid and used Hollow Bait. Sure, he has experience fighting and he’d trained under Yoruichi, but it feels sus considering how the others fared.

Orihime fell to her knees pretty quickly after Gin turned up the pressure. She’d also fought against high-ranking shinigami at that point, and trained under Yoruichi, and fought off Hollow (alone even! And she was the reason why Sora moved on, despite Ichigo’s Blade purifying him) before. And yet... It could just be a lack of resolve, as that had come up in earlier chapters but it doesn’t feel right.

Ishida is excused from this due to circumstances.

Tatsuki has been friends with him for ages. Sure, it seems like they weren’t as close after his Mom’s passing, but by then they’d already known each other for quite some time. I’m pretty sure that they were hanging out semi-regularly through junior high/middle school, at which point he got close with Chad and she got close with Orihime. She also has experience fighting (admittedly in martial arts rather than the street fights Ichigo and Chad get dragged into). She experienced at least one hollow attack during Ishida’s Stupid Day. But she collapses as soon as Yammy shows up? That feels off.

In contrast, Ganju was struggling about the same amount. He was born to a noble family— who are known to typically have decently high spiritual power, like his older brother Kaien and his cousin/uncle Issin. He was raised in the Rukongai, meaning he likely came across Hollow attacks. (And those definitely occur.)

Makes me wonder things about Karin’s strength. Like, she managed to escape from the hollow who attacked their house to run for Ichigo’s help (manga) or lived long enough while alone with it that Ichigo and Rukia could come save her (anime), both of which are quite impressive for an eleven year old. She also kept up with Hitsugaya when they played soccer and he’s a captain. Based on Ichigo’s experience, it’s likely that she too will become stronger as she grows up. And does she have an inner hollow too, or is that Ichigo only? If White was simply a parasite and decided to stick to Ichigo I could accept it. But as a hollow Ichigo is a Vast Lorde, and hollows of that level can split into parts (like Starrk and Lilynette).

Does Yuzu not really have any spiritual strength because she inherited more of the Quincy genes from her mom and the hollow genes she inherited don’t balance out that same way it does in her siblings...? Food for thought.

TLDR: how and why is sickness as thing in Soul Society? Byakuya listens to rock music and I’m p. sure the third opening song is him angsting over his wife’s death; it also gave me strong feelings about how he was prolly brainwashed growing up so his angst over Rukia’s fate is not actually stupid. I continue to have IchiRuki feels. Rukia and Hisana died when Rukia was about 3 months old. And I am more confused now about how spiritual power works than I was before I started rewatching the anime for language practice. Also, more questions have arisen about hollows.

#bleach meta #bleach anime #remind me to look into Japanese textiles and dyes during Meiji era #maybe I should have split this into multiple posts...#long post #wish I knew how read mores can be put in on mobile #this is more than 3 sentences #bleach

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robin-in-a-hoodie · 2 years

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Hi your dumbass apperantly didn't close the asks I can't find where you do it

Anyway dude if you think i know how the fuck you block an ip i don't think you understand not everyone understands computer shit I'm just here to see some memes man you could just understand that I'm not into getting asks and move on

Like yeah when I'm bombarded with multiple asks that i have to interact with (deleting is interacting, i still have to read them to see if they're bullshit or not) I'm going to get to the "ripping my soul out", i have enough criticism of my own about tbs, the ripping my soul out was about the harassment that people feel is alright to throw at me for no reason because i ??? What, rebloged something without adding to it that i don't like some takes i saw in the tag, geez

Getting those half a snippet of a point that i need to go into fucking media analyst mode to answer in a language i find difficult to speak on a subject i stated many times i don't feel comfortable speaking on is annoying and I'm dramatic, fuck off, i don't know how ro express myself in words when it comes to media analysis and i don't have to, i vent about the shit that bothers me in private where i feel comfortable doing so

Also maybe just don't dm people who said they don't want you to dm them idk my man weather i block your ip or not you should still respect the fact I'd like to not be dragged into this

Every single time i get these asks i get anxious about being the one getting them, because yeah, if you throw shit unfounded claims about media i love i don't want that to go uncorrected, but i get anxious trying to explain myself in a way that doesn't make me sound stupid, because English is difficult, and because i haven't heard the show in a while, and because i don't know how to write a fifteen page assey about why Oliver is nicer than Damian on command, so it leads me to being unable to go either way because if i don't respond then I'm letting people down and letting you "win" and if i do respond then i make a fool of myself because translating my thoughts into actual text is difficult and i hate doing it publicly, that's why i only reblog shit and rarely make original posts, i hate putting myself on the stage in this way even if i do have shit that i want to say. I feel like i did not need to explain any of this. I feel like i shouldn't have woken up to multiple asks challenging me and daring me to reply to them and engage in a conversation i never wanted to engage in. I just want to get on this website, enjoy a few shit posts, maybe boost a friend's post and vibe. I feel put on the spot when I'm personally chosen for these asks, and it's not the first or second time this bs happened, and that feeling that out of everyone i was chosen for this makes my anxiety fucking spiral. It makes me want to never open my mouth again and never speak again so no one can ever notice me again. I try so hard to force myself to be out there because i want friends and mutuals and this is genuinely harassment because i said. Multiple times in the past. That this is not something i want to engage in. That i don't know how to turn these things off. I legit just use my phone for like. Memes and YouTube. I genuinely don't know how to do this stuff and i don't want to learn how to do these fucking complicated things because I've already tried and these asks keep coming still even though i tried blocking it the way i found and it just doesn't work or if it does work then there's multiple people doing this shit when i!!! Clearly!!! Asked!!!! You!!!!! Not!!!! To!!!!!!!

Just. If someone tells you "hi, what you're doing is upsetting, please stop"

Then you can stop

Like idk that sounds like. Something you can do. Ugh. I feel stupid. And tbh i am but like. I hate when it comes to my attention. It's midnight and i just feel like the dumbest person on planet earth and i hate it. I don't understand why out of all the people in the world you chose to talk to me. I didn't want you to. It's distressing that you did and i told you it's distressing and you keep doing it and i don't understand why. You are hurting me. Fuck you. I don't care about this stupid show anymore. Go hate Oliver and think tama is prison apologizism go do that away from me i don't care what do you want from me. What. You want me to agree? Fine i agree now leave me alone for the millionth time you absolute jerk

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savnofilter · 4 years

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Official Callout Post (5 - Q&A)

TW: mentions of suicide, ephebophilia, grooming, pseudo racism (microaggression). toxic friendships, harassment towards minors, mental health, fandom discourse.

*DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT BECAUSE OF MY AGE OR SOCIAL MEDIA. THIS IS BECAUSE TOXICITY/TREATMENT. This post is not just minors. This is for the people from different ages 16-22 who feel like they did not have a voice by fellow BNHA writers.*

Important Topics:

Clearing last statements

Addressing my callouts

Alienated mental health

Fic stealing

BNHarem server regulation

Where is the proof that there are people not speaking up?

*10

*11

*12

*13

What’s wrong with aging up?

@mci-writing: There isn’t a problem with aging up in specific, but rather how you go about aging up the characters, especially in NSFW pieces. If you’re going to age the characters up, make it apparent that the characters are aged up rather than just slapping the 18+ label, whether it be in an offhand mention of living in a house of their own or maybe something small about being in college if dorms are such an integral part to the work in question.

“If the minors knew it was an 18+ space, why did they join?”

@mci-writing: Their server is a 16+ server, so they were invited and welcomed once they proved their ages. Many minors that joined their server saw it as an opportunity to meet new people and make friends, all while being able to interact with their favorite writers in the fandom.

If the discord discussion wasn't about harassing Lady-bakuhoe, why did it happen?

@mci-writing: The first discussion quite literally was a couple of people active in the fandom, mainly writers, venting about how hard it is to currently get your works out there and just how hard it is to properly get involved in the fandom without some form of help from a clique. No one in specific was named that time. The other discussion was Sav venting about how she was treated after a whack ass callout post was made and simply because a writer was mad that Sav ran her server the way Sav wanted to, which led to her elaborating on the situation (it then prompted other people’s responses, whose responses are fairly similar to how many of you reacted to Jo’s small “callout”).

What legal offences have they done if charged?

@savnofilter: Well since you guys like supporting people you think should be in jail, considering Lady-Bakuhoe has shared a minor’s face and age, the offense would be up to the parents in question. It's stated in laws that even if the minor is a felon, you do not have the rights to share such information without law/parent consent. Although I cannot find anything about age, sharing a minor's face comes with consequences.

- UK source: 1

- US source: 1

Charges will be:

Lawsuit: exposing minor information without parental consent.

*****

To put in perspective, the U.S and UK are basically flip flopped. In the U.S it is not against the law to groom, but in the UK it is. It is illegal to have relationships with minors in the U.S, while in the UK it is not.

For knowingly engaging sexually with a minor (DMs), you can also be trialed for having depictions of any picture/video of minors. (ex: students in school uniforms) or minors in sexual situations. Although having a sexual relationship with a 16 year-olds is permitted, consuming child pornography is not. Grooming is also outside of sexual abuse, you can groom anyone for any reason.

- UK source: 1

- US source: 1

Charges will be:

Misdemeanor: for knowingly engaging NSFW with minors, causing mental anguish.

Felony: for knowingly engaging NSFW with minors, causing mental anguish.

2 Years Prison: sexting any sort of NSFW content to a minor.

Registered Sex Offender: engaging sexually with minors (U.S).

*****

For the acts of gaslighting, you can be sentenced if proven with evidence.

- UK source: 1, 2

- U.S source: 1, 2, 3

Charges will be:

Misdemeanor: causing mental anguish, this is categorized as mental abuse.

Felony: causing mental anguish, this is categorized as mental abuse.

*****

Sharing false and hurtful posts about someone with intention to hurt someone's image constitutes cyberbullying. This includes false posts to make someone look bad and sending hate (whether you directed it or not).

For perspective, once again it is flip-flopped. The U.S has many states so there are not any direct laws against cyberbullying (in my state and my friends it is illegal), but you can categorize abusive behaviors exhibited online as a form of abuse. In the U.K it is illegal, grooming is considered being one of the offenses.

LBH and or any adult who participated in posting, sending hate, or anything that repeatedly tore our image down would be classified as a Verbal Adult Bully.

UK source: link

U.S source: link

Charges will be:

Lawsuit: defamation of character, harassment.

Misdemeanor: harassment, abuse.

1-2 years jail or fine: harassment, intimidation, or bullying.

12 months jail or fine: classified as stalking.

*****

You can categorize abusive behaviors exhibited online as a form of abuse. In the U.K it is illegal, grooming is considered being one of the offenses.

- UK source: link

- U.S source: link

Charges will be:

Lawsuit: defamation of character, harassment.

Misdemeanor: harassment, abuse.

1-2 years jail or fine: harassment, intimidation, or bullying.

12 months jail or fine: classified as stalking.

*****

Since you only promote 18+ blogs in your 16+ server, the people who run/host the server will be trialed for exposing minors to NSFW

UK source: link

U.S source: link

Charges will be:

Misdemeanor: exposing a minor to pornographic content.

Third degree felony: exposing a minor to pornographic content.

1-15 years jail: exposing a minor to pornographic content.

Fine: $1,000 - $10,000

Don't you (minors) know it's illegal to consume and produce erotica?

@savnofilter: As long as we (minors) don't go as far to engage (message privately) sexually with people who are 18+, it’s not illegal. Reblogging or commenting on a work both ways isn't illegal either 1, 2. It’s only illegal if you approach minors and send it to them personally. If it was illegal, porn websites wouldn’t even exist. If you’re concerned about minors reading your stuff, don’t put them in main tags.

Can't the person producing the content get arrested?

@savnofilter: To put it simply: No. You will not go to jail if a minor reads your smut. With the other way around, you won't go to jail reading a minor's smut either. The laws state that you can only go to jail if you send porn (video, art, pictures) to a minor or produce depictions of a minor in sexual acts.

Therefore if you do not approach a minor with such contents, you will not be trialed. If this was the case, there wouldn't be platforms such as PornHub and etc would not be able to run.

Do you have a problem with them writing the content that they do?

@savnofilter: No. If we did it would be hypocritical. It’s more of the personal jabs to alienate teens feel in the writing community. This means having to go out your way saying stuff like “fuck minors” “minors are stupid”. People like to shove down our throats that we want to go into “adult spaces”. Tumblr is an open site for 13+, the anime being a Shounen anime. Again, if you don’t want minors interacting with your stuff, keep it out of main tags.

What do we want from this post?

The main reason why I even decided to speak up is because I was tired of always talking about how toxic it is here and always being accused of starting drama to shut me up. Sure, call it “bitching” and “whining” but why should I take bullying because I have less followers and half someone’s age?

The double-standard that I’ve touched upon in CCC or even how small blogs are treated. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and it’s not okay to let things slide just to keep things “happy”. Stop intimidating and shutting down people who finally have a choice to talk about the things they have been through just because your favorite says so. Don’t campaign about listening to hurt peoples voices, then proceed to ignore and ridicule people who do it in your own environment.

I’ve had people come into my inbox and mock me for admitting to being mentally ill and say I’m doing this because I’m sick in the head, or call me a liar only because I spoke up. The BNHA fandom needs to stop the popularity mob mentality. Before you blindly someone, think to yourself: why? Stop giving toxic people passes because there is always a high chance in them not even caring about you. Don’t be a sheep, think for yourself. That’s what I want from this post. Even if people don’t believe me now, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Here is what a few of our members have had to say:

Continuation here: main post, one, two, three, four, ▸five◂.

#callout #tw grooming #tw toxic people #lady-bakuhoe #fandom discourse

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writebecauseyoucannotbreathe · 3 years

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You’re blog is just generally amazing! Ig the hate comes with being know for shipping a rare pair. I would say ignore it for now because the people who love your incorrect quotes and memes are greater in number. Keep doing what your doing!

This was so sweet ( ꈍᴗꈍ) . I am ignoring the hate, been meaning to transfer stuff to ao3 regardless of drama to have it archived, and the hate is not direct but it's...how do I describe it...straining. The atla fandom is not welcoming imho and that's why you may notice a lot of blogs leaving or decreasing activity. More on that under the cut because it's long and tedious.

Users: If you make a headcanon or post that goes against the grain aka doesn't praise the opinions of a BNF (Big Name Fan: a tumblr blogger with a large amount of followers and a strong media presence in their respective fandoms) then you will be shunned. The BNF may make a post or a blacklist and their followers will blindly obey them without fact checking which can result in you getting banned from blogs you never interacted with, shadow banned, sent anon hate, or trashtalked in a group chat. Yes, really.

This fandom blacklist can be based on the pettiest things and are more often than not completely false. I don't know why tumblr users think popularity = trustworthiness it's an issue especially when the accusations are as heavy as they are false. There's a reason why even the most factual and thoroughly sourced Tumblr post will never be put on a resume & why credentials are never posted (fun fact, everyone can have a phd on the internet) because Tumblr is not the right medium for this sort of stuff.

Artists: Depending on the pairing and the whims of the fandom you can be accused of pedophilia, racism, etc.

**Note: If you are a minor and you truly believe that a sect of the fandom are pedophiles then do not interact with them and loudly declare you are a minor. THAT IS STUPID DANGEROUS. Interacting includes doing anything from venting in tumblr group chats (everyone can see them without joining, group chats are incredibly dangerous for minors, screenshots can be taken, etc.) or making public (if its on your blog its public) blocklists. **

The accusations are usually false or exaggerated. Especially if you draw art of a pairing. Any pairing. Your art will also be reposted to other sites without credit and you'll receive comments like "ewww why does this pairing have such good art" which is really bad for self esteem. Furthermore, because of a fear of backlash from BNFs and their cult followers users will avoid reblogging your art (You may notice certain users only reblog from a small group of friends so much so that their blogs feel like they're run under one account) If your art receives enough backlash you will get shadow banned which results in your blog and art not showing up in search. Sometimes your art won't show up in the tags as a common tumblr bug.

Writers: Oh boy where do I begin. I made a tumblr to get more hits on my fanfics and a BNF accused me of plagiarism and identified my ao3 fic by title and username. On Tumblr. Instead of going into detail about how baseless the claim is I'll point out that AO3 has a report plagiarism feature but they can't do anything about offsite harassment.

Your fanfics can be accused of plagiarism but they can also be accused of racism, sexism, etc. Regardless of the validity of the claims, targeting the users for a free work is terrible especially when it's done offsite and can take many forms (such as anon hate). If you believe a work to be problematic, leave a comment or review on the work instead detailing your misgivings.

On that note, a lot of atla discussion posts receive similar treatment. People have different views and headcanons and interpretations of a work but instead of agreeing to disagree or blocking, users will signal to their friends and followers to blacklist a blog for the following xyz reasons and these reasons are not only incendiary and subject to interpretation, but they're used as a justification for anon hate and death threats.

It's a stressful time all around.

#asks #atla fandom crit #fandom critical #a:tla fandom #atla fandom critical #atla salt #atla fandom salt #atla fandom problems

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southern-belle-outcasts · 3 years

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🍵🍵🍵 JUST GIMME SWEET SWEET SALT I LOVE HEARING PPLS VENTS

@sebastianshaw

Send 🍵for the mun’s salt!

- Bonus: Sending a topic can help the mun so they can organize their thoughts better.

You have chosen to allow me to do this with my own discretion and I hope you’re ready for some major fucking salt unloading.

You see that? Imagine instead of a teeny bit of dirt, it was overflowing with salt. Because...I have a lot. Some is very relevant to recent shit. Some is just always there. Anywho, here we go.

The toxicass performative positivity circle-jerk that’s going on in the rpc:

I have no problem providing encouragement. I do it on the regular. Give praise where it’s due, encouragement where it’s needed, AND for the love of the gods and all things good and holy- constructive criticism, people. I see a lot of “if I praise this certain aspect it will get better” very thinly veiled and really that’s not the case. You can’t improve where you don’t feel it’s needed and someone not looking to fix their shit is going to look at the five gushing praises they got and then get shitty when the one person not trying to blow smoke up their ass says something the slightest bit negative but in a constructive, polite manner. Y’ALL ARE DOING NO ONE ANY FAVORS. Fucking stop, please. And if you can’t take polite, constructive criticism, then you either need a disclaimer so people can choose whether they want to interact with you with that in mind, or go find some other hobby that isn’t a fucking COLLABORATIVE activity. Seriously, grow up or find something else. If you are going to interact with other adults, you can be an adult and face if you or your muse have stepped out of line. Can’t do that? Write fanfic, and fanfic only. I’m so serious I can’t even laugh over this. Do NOT claim you are open to constructive cristicism if you aren’t. I’m also now side-eyeing anyone that is constantly patting themselves on the back over not writing a certain thing like toxic ships or Mary-Sues. You doth protest too much. 🤧

Double Standards in the RPC when it comes to customizing your experience:

So apparently, it’s all the rage circa 2019 Dumblr RPC to say that you’re allowed to customize your experience- block as needed, have rules, request triggers, etc. And everyone will be sure to reblog those posts EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. those posts cross their dash. But then when someone adjusts their rules, or makes a comment, or blocks someone, it’s how DARE they do so. They have to put it all on the dash in some rant, or reblog a post with the opposite message immediately. How dare they do exactly what you’ve been throwing onto the dash every other day and encouraging them to do, and work to make their fun time a fun time! I mean, fuck them, right? Why should they have boundaries drawn out, I mean, if they dare to ignore yours then they’re some sort of heinous person, but they should totally let you walk all over them. Bruh. Stop being two-faced and just say you only give a fuck about yourself. Get it out and say it with your chest. Own that dunghill you’re dying on.

The “I’m going to tag every goddamn thing under the sun BUT for the fucking obvious shit” crew:

Before any of you decide to come for my throat for this- I have cPTSD. I have multiple triggers, most are just not to the point I would utilize the blacklist feature, and as I have already stated in my rules, I just unfollow for the certain things that would really bother me. I have spent full days working to come down from a panic attack after being triggered because it was an actual triggering topic or event. I know what a TRIGGER is. Stop. Trivializing. My. Mental. Health. If, for the love of all fuck, you’re going to tag stupid shit like love and domesticity for your sake when it’s “triggering” no one but yourself, but can’t be assed to tag N*SFW and actual kinks, and specific triggers you agreed to tag when agreeing to my rules etc... then you’re just using the concept of trigger tagging for attention and you can kindly go fuck yourself. I don’t care who you are, tagging N*SFW is just basic rpc common courtesy that way even if someone is okay with smexy/intense shit, they can safely scroll around fam/at work/whatevs as needed. I will HAPPILY tag someone’s real trigger. I will NOT feed into your dash pity parties, with the dumb ‘tbd’ tacked on like you’re actually going to delete it when we all know you aren’t going to delete it.

Welp. You said you wanted it. You got it. 😅

#;out of the south #sebastianshaw #;little asks are made of gunpowder and lead

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mollydollyjournals · 3 years

Text

Its Thursday 1st July and I hit post limit so all I can do is update this post

I just want to drink til i pass out

9:46pm - oh when did i post this? Doesnt matter i guess. It really annoys me that the daily post limit applies to all blogs you have. I have 2 and i follow a lot of NSF- stuff so i have so much in my queue for my other blog, and i tend to post more immediately for that so i dont end up with a massive backlog, but thaats when i hit the limit. Whatever it is. I basically just wish i could set the queue to post more often when i have more there. Just post every 15mins or whatever and it'd go through quicker without me having to do it myself

Idk it doesnt matter i guess. Im still just venting all my bullshit here that i cant put anywhere else. But now is when i need it. I want interaction and company but i dont want to bother anyone and I dont know what to do with it. I dont have it in me to try to be a person right now. Tumblr is for messy. At least thats how i do.

But once you hit post limit it apparently doesnt even let you delete stuff to post anything else. I havent been here in years really so i totally forgot. Plus it could have been different anyway. Idk. Guess i will just drink until i disintegrate or something

10:20pm - it just makes me feel worse. I know theres a reason for post limit and its not the end of the world. Just it doesnt reset til 5am and I'll be asleep by then which means for the rest of today i cant actually say anything, and that kinda fucks with my derealisation/depersonalisation/whatever it is. I need acknowledgement to feel real. I need people to remind me that i exist. Even just a little. Its stupid and insecure but i do. Everything is worse since covid and being stuck in a house with someone who barely acknowledges my existence. I feel like a ghost. I feel netter at least a little temporarily if someone just sees and acknowledges me. And currently i can't do anything about that. Nobody is going to go to my page(s) and see whats up, its not that kind of thing. Even if it was they still wouldnt. I put on my other social media fucking ages ago that i was really struggling, then i disappeared, and it took days for it to get noticed at all. Then only 3 people acknowledged it. People have their own lives and there are algorithms etc so i cant be angry at them, but the end result is i still feel really alone.

I often feel like i want to just talk to people. Only a select few. Its not that i necessarily need to talk about "deep" stuff, but i need to know that i could if i needed to. Or if we just both happened to be in that mood at the same time. Like how i dont wanna talk about something totally innocent and generic with someone who turns out to be racist or whatever.

I dont know. Maybe i do need to talk some shit through right now. Doesnt matter either way. Ill most likely just be back to this post later to say more about how i dont really feel like being alive.

10:39pm - I hate that im like this. I dont know if its reasonable or not. I used to be someone who wantes so much space. I still dont feel like i want to always be around people. I must have some individuality somewhere. But i cant find it. Since the pandemic hit especially, it just highlighted everything ive been missing and trying to supplement. I need things to change. But i dont have a hope of doing so while i feel like this. Im so lost. Ive spent my life trying to be confident in myself and ive run my reserves dry. I so rarely get any help topping up. I fucking hate the whole Strong Black Woman trope. Im tired. Ive carried my family since I was 13 and romantic partners have expected me to carry them too. I need to be held and comforted. I need support. If nothing else i need to just be acknowledged. I dont feel like a person. Im invisible and inaudible so much of the time and apparently that only changes when someone wants to see or hear me. When do i get to be a person in my own right? When does someone actually see or hear me for who i am and care about my existence regardless of what it does for them

10:54pm - its the worst of my mental health, tbh, that i dont feel like its worth trying anything if its not going to be acknowledged and welcomed by anyone else. Existing included. I feel my worst and most suicidal when i cant have anyone remember that i exist. Because maybe i dont. Maybe people dont miss me or think of me unless theyre reminded for some specific reason. And i say these things because i want to be proved wrong but why would anyone.

I want to cut. I hate this stupid post limit. I could have at least distracted myself by reblogging stuff for a bit. Im still spiralling. I need a distraction and there isnt one and there wont be one and if i even get through tonight itll just be another reminder that in the end im alone

11:24pm - something feels particularly cruel about not being able to post here, even if i delete stuff. Its just an app sure but its the closest thing i have to therapy. I came back here specifically because i was struggling posting on my regular social media and having people not pay any attention. I thought id make a fresh anonymous account where i could vent and my shitty brain couldnt take it personally if nobody acknowledged it. Now i just have all that shit going round my head and nowhere to put it. Im right back where i started. Nobody will read this. If they do they wont care. If by some chance they did they'll be put off by me being so negative.

"One day someone will hug you so tight all tour broken pieces will fit back together" yeah sure. Whatever.

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hibiscusangel15 · 3 years

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I think we’re just having a Wordgirl renaissance right now. I don’t think people are trying to pressure you to create content you don’t want to create. If people go through and like your stuff, that just means they like your stuff. You’re under no obligation to make new Wordgirl content. You can also turn off notifications. Lots of us still like Wordgirl. And not just the posts you made, the ones you reblogged too.

I’m sorry if my post came off as rude to others still in the fandom. I do still like WordGirl, and I’m not really mad at the fandom nor was that ever my intent. I’m happy there’s a renaissance. I hope new fans are having fun coming across old content, and I mean this as sincerely as possible. I just don’t want my blog to be treated like an archive of it.

(This got a bit long im sorry)

I realize my complaints about things can come off as mean or even ungrateful sometimes. Mostly, I’m venting out of a place of frustration with myself and my overreactions to small things. I shouldn’t let little things like this bother me, I know. I don’t know why I get so touchy about small matters, but I’ve been working on that on my own.

I do still get anon messages from time to time about WordGirl asking me about fanfics, believe it or not. I just don’t publish these asks (and end up deleting them) because they dishearten me. Most I can tell are from much younger fans who are fresh faces in the fandom, and it just makes me feel bad because any time I get a message that asks me if I’m coming back to write more and I don’t say anything, I know deep down I’m disappointing them. I don’t take disappointment well, even for minor things like this.

I know I’m under no obligation to write more or write things I don’t want or even interact with people I don’t want to. But to have this much attention thrown my way at once makes me anxious. It’s not anyone’s problem but my own, but I do still feel like I should share this with others.

I don’t often talk about myself anywhere, and I don’t like to. I’m a mostly quiet person, but I can’t keep my feelings about things bottled up all the time. Sorry if this is much too long or rambly.

I’m not saying this ask is a bother or that this is a gripe in any way. I appreciate it. You are allowed to speak your feelings, just as I am allowed to speak mine. Yes, people can like my old stuff, even if I cringe at my own old content (note: not anyone else’s old content), but this is still my blog. I’ll curate my experience how I want to. That includes complaining about things that really don’t matter in the end.

I like to look at my notifications from time to time for new things I’ve created or talked about. I still write fanfics for different fandoms and post them here. I want to see the occasional like or reblog of a fanfic. I like seeing people’s comments on them, but I won’t know if people even saw it otherwise unless I leave my notifications on. At the end of the day, I still write things. Just not for this fandom.

I’m busy with work and other things, so I don’t have much time to go on here as much as I used to. So to come back after like a week and suddenly see 99+ notifications or a couple new messages terrifies me.

This is going to sound stupid, and I know this is not the case because as you said “If people go through and like your stuff, that just means they like your stuff.”

Each and every time it happens, though, I feel like I’m disappointing someone for not being there anymore. Again, a personal issue of mine that I don’t like to share because of how ridiculous it sounds. Maybe I’m oversharing at this point.

TL;DR: I don’t want my blog to be an archive of old WG content for others. I like WordGirl still, but it’s no longer a huge interest of mine. Though this doesn’t make sense, I feel like others liking all these old posts is kind of like a “Why aren’t you still here?” kind of thing. This, coupled with the occasional message I get concerning that very topic, makes me stressed out.

I’m working through some stuff right now, and I don’t like to disappoint people no matter who they are. I realize these issues aren’t really anyone else’s problem but my own, hence why I rarely share this stuff online.

I’m glad the WordGirl fandom is thriving after all this time. I don’t want this to come off as condescending. When I say I’m tired, I mostly mean with myself and my overreactions to small things. At the end of the day, I want to curate my fandom experience to newer things I’m interested in. I don’t blame new fans nor am I mad at them just because I happen to find my own personal old content cringy. That’s my own issue I want to work through.

#im sorry #but as I said before I'm done for now #I'm so grateful for all the fun times and fun things I did in that fandom #and sometimes I do miss it #just please understand that it's not something I want to engage with at the moment #thank you #asks #Anonymous #personal

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