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#time to take a well deserved break
bumblingbabooshka · 5 months
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On s'est déjà tout dit Et j'ai déjà tout vu Je l'ai déjà apprise, la leçon la plus dure J'suis tombé droit dans l'mur, une fois, deux fois
[We've already said everything and I've already seen it all. I've already learned it, the hardest lesson. I fell straight into the wall, once, twice.]
#bea art tag#T'Pring#T'Pring/Spock#Spock#SNW#star trek snw#snw#T'Pring fanart#s he deserves more.....she deserves MORE!!!!!#The nerve of this man to say 'you know me well' WHILE cheating#This show's Spock's trust issues and reluctance to fully commit himself to T'Pring don't read at all as him being torn between two differen#worlds or reluctant to show T'Pring the 'real' him because we never really see T'Pring being .... idk. Disdainful of his humanity?#The most I can remember is her saying 'It hardly seems like a Vulcan lives here.' when she's poking at his interior decorating#T'Pring is out here reading books doing research and telling him she appreciates his Humanity and wants to have dinner with him and spend#time together and Spock's over here like 'I can't bring myself to trust T'Pring. Christine! Angel!' like DUDE....you're ENGAGED#Of your own volition you're engaged!!#The second your fiancee says 'let's take a break from seeing each other to think about our relationship' you start having sex with another#woman?? Immediately??? I don't like this writing ... it just makes Spock seem like a sleaze who's making excuses to be unfaithful#BUT you know what?? That'd be fine if they didn't frame Christine/Spock as like...ok? I don't get that. M'Benga is like wink wink#ohhh you like each other huh~?? HUH indeed. HUH?? Dude - he has a fiancee???#Even putting morality aside wouldn't it just be more fun to have them be in a secret forbidden relationship or whatever?#Spock: -Singing about how he and Christine broke up or whatever- / Uhura: ....[doesn't he have a girlfriend?????]#<- I wish there was more continuity with this. Like - why is everyone on the ship fine with Spock & Christine being together#when they KNOW he has a fiancee? Is no one going to mention it?#Like there's definitely a compelling story here but the writers are never gonna find it...everyone's too busy being in a marvel movie#Spock being like oh I love Christine we really have something WHILE reassuring T'Pring at every turn that he loves her and wants to make#it work between them ooohhhh!!!! -steam comes out my ears- flames flames on...on the side of my face...#Him being upset and feeling betrayed by Christine leaving for a work opportunity....sit DOWN sir. Sit DOWN!!!#If they make T'Pring cheat on him with Stonn or whatever so they can have a contrived#'well we're both at fault who's really to blame for this goodbye forever now have a great life' ending I'm gonna riot
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grian-updates · 4 months
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Grian uploaded a hermitcraft video!
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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sysig · 1 month
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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visionkept · 4 months
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Runs walks away from what they started. This ronin is NOT RESPONSIBLE for any cold outbreak or if a thunder happens to strike another person. Any similar occurrences are completely coincidental, they shouldn't be taken accountable for such unfortunate events especially if━━ wait, why is another cloud approaching. OH, NOT AGAIN ━━
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❝ F*CK━━ ! ❞
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starbuck · 4 months
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i have so much love in my heart it’s unreal
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smolstarthief · 2 years
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Me: Ok, but in retrospect when I really think about it: Haru basically deciding to take her father's company back to it's old roots on her own terms while also doing what she loves (ex: gardening) can actually be a subtle "fuck you" to him and his views. In this essay I will-
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roylustang · 1 year
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Usually when I do a long run I get a runners high somewhere around mile 10 and inside I’m like “man I could run a marathon rn for real” but it’s like way too early to make that call and then like 5 miles later I’ll get tired and just do whatever I prescribed but today that feeling hit me at mile 20 so a bitch fucking did it. Get rekt.
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dix-rose · 4 months
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It’s such a foreign concept to me that bad people get to be happy. I know we as people make our own happiness but I don’t understand how people who went out of their way to hurt people get to be happy while the people they hurt have to suffer with what they did to them.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months
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take 4: the tension (gulf spanned with incomplete, continuously crumbling bridges) between the perspective of oneself as the Deservingly Epic Winner Protagonist Person who dares to be Out Of Line versus the need to actually completely stay in line within this b/c it hinges on being in harmony with the preexisting hierarchies which will supposedly reward the "merit" of this Actor. while everyone whose existence is Inferior, according to the hierarchies, is defined by being Out Of Line, which these same people resent & respond to, also Staying In Line with the hierarchy, by trying to reinforce the dynamics of these inferior / superior groupings. "everything pathologized about the inferior groups / rejected as what's Wrong with their existence so as to "cause" these dynamics is "take 4" b/c this is from me trying to write about winston quant kid 2 billions like holy shit a series operating on this logic huh, giving this unvarnished expression of this perspective b/c it's assuming (& requiring...) we all have it. winston is constantly responded to as Guy Who's Out Of Line. the "superior" parties who hate him & get to have him as their punching bag / hit with the butt of the joke / at least ignored & excluded, but taken advantage of, but who all have to Stay In Line, how's that going for them even when it comes to the writing, where characters can't do anything if it's too disruptive of the In Universe hierarchy, unless it's a finale zone for a permissable shakeup, where ppl insulating/supporting each other being a bit Out Of Line is not a problem b/c they individually recognize each other's transcendently True worthiness in thee objective hierarchy we all assume exists, but definitely can never disrupt the out of universe hierarchy, e.g. the show decides wendy is the true hero, b/c she deserves to be. taylor has to hire back dollar bill & stand back while wags & wendy take the lead & the spotlight & hate the autistic guy they hired & show up so the Winner, who was written into the show with nothing to do but tell taylor they're not quite as good as wendy & then provide a vagina amidst otherwise being an Everyemployee who fails to even differentiate from an Axe Cap style everyemployee, can announce their winningness detached from anything that actually happened ever.
counterpart to winston's departure needing an audience of people to stand there & stay in line, which on that side of the same coin meant punishing his Out Of Lineness that doesn't even act like anyone bothered to think of [this is one particular preexisting guy. you thought he liked scifi once before you lost interest in even suggesting he has interests, though, will roland likes scifi, will roland wore his own open buttonup as quant kid 2 that'd define the Look, will roland happened to have the facial hair just kept for production b/c who would care, will roland brought the entire je ne sais quoi acting interpretation that made quant kid 2 go from "out of line guy we kill once" to "out of line guy we keep around to kill all thee time until finale 'haha but seriously though' material means pushing him out of the way in s6 & then s7 alike" like hmm] like everyone just spitballed "annoying things! cringe loser things! things that would never happen to me, a deserving winner!!" & put it in as easter eggs as though that would even make sense, much less [you have no other priority?] but like. rian's sendoff didn't do any better for acting like she's a specific character who's said & done things we're meant to remember & have thought about then & now. taylor didn't get to have resolution with philip. they Had to have resolution with wendy that, again, has nothing to do with any/everything prior, except perhaps to contradict it. this is what anyone got for Staying In Line like superior winners. the autistic [annoying arrogant inferior undeserving etc] Out Of Lineness that would be so supposedly admired instead seen as pure Other shit that's projected upon ppl so as to Reject it thusly. couldn't be me!! i'm a winner who will always have Superior ranking in the hierarchy & treated accordingly!!! i Must be!!!! like i must Kill people who seem to be disrupting this, even by acting like a person who assumes they're equal to me despite being Different. there all along like wow winston existing Out Of Line is so powerful. he can harmonize with & support taylor so well b/c they're introduced as being so Out Of Line, up to the inevitable point of breaking out & starting their own thing entirely!!! but while it's like, okay yeah, you Have to reel them back in by thwarting them b/c otherwise they break so far from central men's orbit they exit the series or you have to put Them at the center (imagine...) (plus! the role winston plays in them getting as close to this as they ever can be!) but then in the end taylor's just shortchanged b/c when it comes time to take down a central man as thee main thing all season, series finale style, they should be knocking it out in a few episodes with sacker & philip. instead we focus on wendy given the helm & fucking around all season. after disposing of winston b/c who even needs him for anything, this is Stay In Line times, and to do that we can do nothing w/autistic people but hate them & punish them for being undeserving. but don't worry b/c he doesn't get to be so Out Of Line as to easily cause problems for them & thwart them, b/c he just doesn't. taylor waits around on wendy & tells her she's the best b/c they just do. we are all in line on all of this ourselves so whew, there's no Disruption to notice if that key Alignment is maintained. rian was never holding herself Above winston if we just really tentatively suggest she doesn't think that she was, while letting every double standard at play be acted out. rian being "out of line" was that she wasn't being aggressive enough about any of her Superiority, b/c if you didn't leave bruising then nothing was That Bad; cue the assaults and boundary violations Reserved for the inferior losers as fun times & nothing anyone is beholden to with Consequences, we don't even make the viewer stick with the consequences of how it affects the target a second too long, lest you start to think it's Drama & not Jokes.
anyways it's all about the [categorization as inferior Other based on an assumed Hierarchy = inherently defined as Out Of Line] all "why get a formal diagnosis from a professional who doesn't know what to look for when at age 5 my peers went 'something's wrong with this one' & acted 'accordingly'" like even when people "know" what's Wrong with someone to make them the odd one out / "incompatible" w/what makes others exist Right, it's time to interpret everything else about them as "backing that up" no matter what, certainly no matter if it involves theoretically Valued concepts, b/c it's all first & foremost Staying In Line with the hierarchy, where the correct way to do things is: if you Can push someone else into greater vulnerability while you're established as Insulated, you Do. tl;dr winston inherently continuously Out Of Line; being "superior" requires an ultimate (&/or also quite Immediate. especially when it comes to "simple" matters already "correctly" arranged in the supposed Objective Hierarchy, like: winston's "objectively" inferiority (autistic swag)) Staying In Line. and what comes of it. all the most engaging & complex shit when people get to not actually stay in line. the power of it if taylor & tmc & allies didn't have to ultimately be shoved into Staying In Line even when it means wendy is the best & oh who cares about taylor & philip when wags is around etc etc. if winston being someone Out Of Line was seen as relevant & not an easy nonstop joke. while a quant who is so In Line as to correctly personally abuse him even more than others are doing is so ""out of line"" as to decide she's already gotten everything she wants & may as well live the dream now, b/c she's not an aggressive man, one has to suppose, same diff as wendy getting to believe she's Better than everyone & is nobly in charge of orchestrating their fates when she Means & Knows so well, & is somehow pitted against prince being this same figure but without having to confront that fact. he's mean! or whatever. he's talking about killing people & wendy isn't so that sorts it out forever. "abuse your local autists; it's funny & their fault & consequenceless b/c they're not real people" is also harmonious with all our ideas. edgy rulebreaking bold independent Out of Line heroes completely in accord w/the established hierarchies. & those whose existence threatening peership disrupts it who are written off losers who could never upend those heroes' goings on. everyone Actually being peers is unimagineable, not as a figure of speech. we do not imagine it, what are you even talking about. now for the Merited Hierarchy to be acted out as arranged, which is fun, god i wish that were me. Independent Agents ascending it only!! & people who Cheat to get in like loser nerds w/their math, b/c they can't Deserve it. now to keep insisting that everyone else could just be On My Level if they tried, while also responding violently if it seems like weirdos / ppl who aren't Supposed to be here are infringing on my level (the only violence is physical strikes that made contact, & perhaps killed you)
anyways just another installment of [fake fans haunted by billions, & other things which are in real life, such as the fictional series billions] musings i have to excise at all b/c [this was take 4]. winston Out Of Line. superior correct winners who have to Stay In Line at related great costs despite the supposed associated wins of that. his autistic swag. knowing ppl Are different autism style b/c they're "out of line." encountering irl autistic people without realizing it & repeatedly writing "this nerd guy is just So annoying ugh!! he's just like weird & doing everything wrong for no reason & won't just Be Normal or Shut Up & Go Away!! but at least his intractible arrogant cluelessness also means we have fun punishing & taking advantage of him" Type butt of jokes into things. those cringe loser Insistently Annoying Weirdo nerds who we all find insufferable & punish, we all know them, inherent Inferior Other Out Of Line that they are. now it's a Guy we all hate & enjoy seeing suffer & Understand as a less deserving less [person] just dropped into the periphery of this fiction. he will easily be thwarted from an alliance with the [person designed to be Out of Line in a way that Is considered Legitimate] that would let them shatter the limits of the series in 5 sec which we're also holding them back by the scruff of the neck to prevent anyways while pushing forward ppl supposed to be even More correct b/c uh um they're a little more Normal, & perhaps even Women, who are innately more caring & gentle. there they go hurting those around them as much as they can, with nothing stopping them at all, but they're using their inside voices & not issuing physical threats so that's what i'm talking about. that is heroic, vs the villainous efforts to navigate life as though everyone will respect them as a fellow person which Autists egregiously pull, to which you can do anything you want to Reject this. maybe even decide you wanna personally use them. isn't that nice of you. no, we don't know what to do with the "this guy won't stop acting like he gets to think he's a person" but eventually send him away after the dozen trampled boundaries to punish him for fun b/c what else was the point of him? anyways don't worry i saw the autistic swag. the nonbinary swag it didn't even know was there. the nonbinary swag it knew was there but held back by the scruff of the neck b/c all billions' most engaging, potential filled characters are the ones Held Back b/c they're threatening too much [out of line] / their out of Lineness must be contained; vs everyone perfectly in line who keeps being pushed in front of them no matter what b/c uhhh.
let's go Out of Line gang. continual inevitable Disruption of the norm(tm). like even just standing there vs "oh immediately i fucking Hate this guy." billions where anyone considers winston for 5 sec would also shatter apart. taylor would be too powerful even more than they already are if they didn't have to stay wendy's sidekick no matter what. rian who didn't have to come back from the hiatus even more "right" than they presumably intended her to always be (bound to thee hierachy / actually always Staying In Line. if she's out of it, psych, actually that was just a correction of the "objective" hierarchal order waiting to reconfigure itself around the situation). standing around waiting like okay but the payoff that Could happen....okay still time though lol....well here we are
the fundamentalness of the Out Of Lineness. quantessential....send post
#another [mentally pacing while writing out the saga] moment#winston billions#it's all about the Out Of Line....#b/c it's all about the hierarchy; & the fact that it's People beneath you = forever being in conflict w/Reality being ''out of line''#this person talking & taking up space & breathing & Appearing & Behaving & Acting & [Autonomous]ing....no. no!!!!!!!#tmc just so happened to be Weird except also mafee is there but he's too not ''aggressive'' enough for axe cap. or is he!! not that much#all while even in peak tmc times....thee hierarchy! we Hate winston & Will all act accordingly to keep him inferior(tm)#we'll also use him. but not include him as a peer when we can help it. or even acknowledge a ''value'' for having found him Useful(tm)#just like wow really didn't think at all about winston besides [he IS out of line!!!]. ppl can do all That to him & not have it questioned#like hey so long as maybe you do it without....well they did also physically assault him in the end so really no limits obviously#the make or break context? his autistacity means well he deserves it from anyone#whereas if some of those ppl do some of those things to Winners w/the same goal to punish & hurt & coerce? hmm bit messed up#it's not double standards when you objectively buy into it right. if winston was a Good Enough Real Enough person we'd all Love him#however we just all immediately recognize a weird little autistic loser & that's all that is relevant forever somehow! hmm!#most ''out of line'' billions characters unleashed....we deserved this#what a coincidence that at the high points of this; like say; Kompenso; winston is treated the best!! 4x12!! Hmm!!!#irrelevant i said. nothing to see here like there's nothing inside him but Cringe Wrongness. scene over! series over! autists are Others#they power down in nooks & crannies & stop imitating Real People words & deeds when we're not looking so just do whatever#that Whatever means finding it rewarding to go after them & assert power=superior status over them? epic Normal shit. what else is there#rhetorical!! stop answering about like ''nobody's life & existence treated as Less''#but at what cost? oh so a really epic man can't like pwn people now?? perhaps an epic Woman? all cishet agenda style btw? hell
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elennemigo · 2 years
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3rd ✧ Clip with Benedict inviting ppl to participate of the Letter Live at the Hay Festival.
4th ✧ Letters Live at Hay Festival. (no official video available)
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Pics and clips from attendants: x x x x x x/ x x x x x Pic with Loo Brealey.  Pic by Shaun Usher. Thank you for coming!
8th ✧ Benedict picture with a fan at  Beaver Trust Gala Dinner for the preservation of reptiles in UK.
9th ✧ Collaboration between Marvel and  Premiership Rugby.
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10th ✧ “We talk acting, meditating and dream journals with Benedict Cumberbatch.” Reader´s Digest interview.
16th ✧ Benedict participated of a Salesforce World Tour event in London. (not official video available)
Pics and clips from attendants: x x x x / x x
17th ✧ DSMOM feaurette: Different versions of Strange.  [gifs]  [gifs]
✧ DSMOM gag reel.  [gifs]
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✧ DSMOM deleted scene “A great team” 
19th "I was never a big comic fan: Benedict Cumberbatch” - New Indian Express Interview.
21st ✧ DSMOM: Strange or not Strange?
22nd ✧ Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness released on Disney +.
25th ✧ Outtakes from the Esquiere UK photoshoot.
26th ✧ DSMOM: Explore the many looks of Doctor Strange.
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27th ✧ Benedict picture with a fan, at The Wave, wearing a surf suit. 
                       ❯───「 FIN 」───❮
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correct-bangtannies · 2 years
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I don't even like men and I'm somehow already a military wife, what goes on
PS. Don't open the tags unless you want a big ass wall of text of me rambling on your screen
#hit#im just honestly so glad that I've become a lot more chill with the whole being an army thing#in the sense that i used to be a lot more attached and hyped over everything#i do still get very hyped and i do still have an attachment to them n their work but y'know just more toned down#(i mean i remember the days of staying up all night to watch award shows knowing damn well they'd always perform last)#(mma 2018 was an emotional rollercoaster like i legit cried a little from the tiredness and being overwhelmed with the performance)#so im glad im a lot more calm about the enlistment news than what i would've been say three years ago before they started to#take longer breaks and eventually announce the hiatus this year#it's like they did it in purpose so that the fandom would grow a bit more used to it n im glad to see that a huge majority are very calm#many are sad ofc but its not being treated as some kind of horrific news#if anything ppl are coping with humor including me lmao#so idk im mostly just happy for them that they're taking their VERY well deserved break before doing their service#i just hope everything goes well and is decently peaceful (as peaceful as enlistment can be at least lol) for them once they're there#now why am i rambling in the tags? bc i need to put my thoughts in order but i don't wanna clog my blog with a long ass wall of text 💀#I'm at least relieved to know that they already have a set plan of when they're going to go and return + BH is sure af gonna keep putting#out a lot of content that they've filmed over all these years#i mean run bts; documentaries; probably even music and ofc not all of them are gonna go at the exact same time#and ofc stuff related to the HYYH and Chakho#them being absent won't as hard for most hopefully#and hey 2 years aint nothing ive waited far longer for stuff to come out than that we'll be fine!#*cries in silksong and the YOI movie
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hyperfixated-homo · 1 year
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Just wanted to check in on you, you haven't posted or rbed anything in a bit, and I just want to make sure that you're okay. I mean, if you're taking a break from tumblr then of course you're fine, and you're not obligated to post, but I wanted to make sure you're okay the best I can just in case.
Hi! I'm using this as my official "I'm not dead" post.
I'm doing fine, thank you for checking on me :). It's been a bit weird recently for me in terms of social media, because I still strongly want to talk to all of you guys but also interacting always feels like too much effort for some reason. I simultaneously do not have the energy to care while wanting to be here at every second of the day.
+ the fact that my mom has been forcing a sort of screen detox on the house (not letting us use the screens unless we're working, taking them away at night, etc) I haven't really had the time? And then when I do have time I feel kinda overwhelmed by how much stuff I've missed that I sort of feel like I have to interact with? It's eh.
I'm also going through some mild burnout I think? I always want to be drawing or writing but when I do I feel exhausted. I'll be back on my bs later I'm sure, but for now I'm just going to chill for a bit.
On a more positive note, I've been much more active irl. Had a celebration recently (not naming anything specific bc it's kinda personal) that was really fun. I'm starting my school stuff, which is taking a lot of my time. Oh and I've been sort of hyperfixating on lord of the rings, so basically I do not have time for any other thoughts.
I may interact with some stuff every now and then, liking and sharing stuff on insta and rbing a cool post every now and then, but I won't be as active for a bit. I'll do more later, probably. It sucks bc I just made a whole ton of friends here and then immediately do not have the energy to talk to them, but I hope you guys understand <3
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heartbeetz · 5 months
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Trying to find an apartment with a friend and a job in the area we wanna move to but it's so so so hard. I have no money for that. And no work experience or credit. But I've been told I need to either start paying my father rent to keep staying here at his place (again, no money or job + he's really not the kind of person you wanna be stuck living with), or get kicked out in potentially a matter of weeks. Scary and stressful...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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nerdie-faerie · 9 months
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The mammalian urge to take a nap after a big meal but I'm at work
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