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jisungffs · 3 years

Text

coffee breath - felix.

words: 5.1k

reader: gender-neutral

genre: fluff

tags: best friend!felix x aromantic!reader, coffeeshop au, non idol! au, implied lgbtq!felix, minho is a minor character, minsung is mentioned. this whole thing is strictly platonic, none of this is meant to be romantic. just a cute fluffy fic honestly. the end has a little tension but not a lot.

warnings: THIS WHOLE THING IS PLATONIC, DON’T READ IF YOU WANT ROMANCE, swearing, multiple descriptions of food.

requested by @aritodla, check her out, she’s an amazing artist and a really sweet person overall.

Lee Felix was a sweet boy. He had kind eyes, freckled cheeks, and an air of infectious happiness around him. He always tipped generously, he never got angry at the staff, and he always cleaned up after himself. Lee Felix was a sweet boy. And it was a shame all you knew about him was his first name and his coffee order.

Even though Felix only started visiting your coffee shop a few weeks ago, you could tell he was a genuinely nice person. Everything about him was lovable.

Like the way he always said thank you after you took his order.

Or like the way he gripped his coffee cup with both his hands when the weather was cold.

Or the way he had a billion stickers on his laptop, adding a new one every week.

Or the way his eyebrows furrowed when he wrote something down..

Or the way he nodded along when he heard music he liked.

Lee Felix was a sweet boy. And even though you didn’t know much about him, you really wanted to. Because Lee Felix was sunshine. And you were in need of warmth.

It was a sunny day — one where it was warm enough to find solace in cafes and under the awnings of fashion stores, but not warm enough to make you want to curse out everything around you. The perfect weather, really. It was on this day that Lee Felix decided to wear his Twice t-shirt. It was barely noticeable — just a little white logo on the breast. It looked like a regular black tee from a distance. But you noticed. Because not only did you want to get to know Felix, you were also a huge fan of Twice.

Felix gave you his usual order of a cappuccino and a chocolate scone and went back to his seat. Felix liked Twice! You wondered who his bias was. Or what his favourite song was. It was really cool that Felix liked Twice right? You finally had something in common.

You drew a little Twice logo on the coffee foam. You didn’t even realize it. It was pretty usual for you to draw about what’s on your mind, and your cafe didn’t exactly have strict rules about foam art.

Felix was once again on his laptop today. You could recognize the colourful sticker-covered laptop from a mile away. His brows furrowed as he typed away, only getting up to collect his order. He was back in his seat and was about to continue whatever he was doing when he noticed the logo on his coffee, drawn on foam. His eyes widened slightly, his mouth broke into a grin. You noticed him getting his phone out and taking a picture before you had to attend to other customers.

It was a windy night. Felix was already in the cafe by the time your shift started, and was peacefully nibbling on a muffin while doing something on his laptop. His eyes never left the laptop screen. He checked his phone from time to time, but never spent more than a few seconds on it. From the looks of it, he was unaware of everything outside his screen and his table.

The closing shift never had a lot of customers. It was just Felix, you, and a couple of regulars in the little cafe.

And the regulars had already left by the time you were done cleaning up. It was five minutes until closing time, and Felix was still there, probably not knowing he was the last one there. You knew you had to tell him he had to leave soon, but you didn’t know exactly what to say. You weren’t the best at the closing shift.

You approached his seat awkwardly. “Excuse me…? Sir…?”, you said tentatively before gently tapping on the table.

Felix jumped slightly at the interruption. He quickly looked around the cafe. “Oh”, he said smally, “Am I the last one here?”

“Yes, and the cafe’s closing soon”, you said with a patient customer service smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t even realise”, he laughed. “I was working on some music and I guess I got carried away”

“Well,”, you struggled to find something to say,” If you like to sing, we have live music on Fridays”

What was that??? Who says that??

“I’ll keep that in mind”, he laughed, shutting the tabs on his laptop.

His phone screen played the Fancy MV, connected to headphones lying on the table. He was probably streaming it, and your mind raced at the conversation starter.

“You’re streaming Fancy!”, you said without thinking. You immediately cursed yourself for not spending more time thinking about what to say. He barely knows you, for god’s sake.

Felix didn’t seem to mind. “You like Twice?” Felix said with raised eyebrows and a goofy grin.

“I do”, you replied, mirroring his grin, “Chaeyoung’s my bias.”

Felix's eyes widened. “Wait a second!”, he said, “Were you the barista who drew the logo on my coffee yesterday?”

“That was me!”, you said laughing.

---

It was a sunny day - the kind where you technically could go out, but it was just a lot more comfortable staying inside. You started mixing Felix's drink as soon as he came to the counter. Felix looked pleasantly surprised. “Guess I don’t have to order anymore”

“I mean,” you said with your eyebrows raised, “You do have to try other drinks at some point, you know? You’ve ordered the a cappuccino and a chocolate scone everytime you came here, and they’re not even that good”

“Hey!” he cry-laughed. “Don’t you dare say that about my cappuccino.”

“By the way,” you added, “I think you’ll like the music today”

Felix raised his eyebrows. His lips quirked up when he realised a lo-fi playlist of Twice songs played through the speakers.

It was an average day -- the awkward phase between afternoon and evening, the weather so ordinary there was nothing to comment about it. Felix shaked his head as he reached the counter and saw you start to make his drink. “Oh I’m not having that today”

You raised your eyebrows, “Oh?”

“Yeah”, Felix said, fixing his posture and smirking. “I’ll have a black coffee, please”, he said in an over dramatic voice.

“Brave today, are we?”

“Yes, and” he said like a child boasting about his most recent tag game, “I won’t add any sugar to it”

“Oh boy”, you sighed, shaking your head.

Five minutes later, Felix’s (black) coffee was ready. Five and a half minutes later, Felix’s black coffee was at his table. You watched as he took his first sip. His entire face scrunched up at the bitter taste. He noticed you looking at him. He gave you a thumbs-up, still wearing the most pained expression known to man. Felix should not drink black coffee.

It was a windy day, the thick grey clouds above threatening to spill over during the night. Felix apparently wanted to prove a point, seeing as he once again ordered a black coffee (no sugar).

“But you hated it yesterday!”

“Clearly you didn’t see the thumbs up”

“Yeah, I was too busy looking at the agony on your face”

He pouted, “But I want a black coffee~”

You sighed. “This will be your villain origin story”.

Not surprisingly, Felix had the same expression of disgust as soon as the black coffee touched his lips. Still not surprisingly, he kept up the cool-edgy-guy-who-drinks-black-coffee schtick.

It was a cool yet humid day - the most polarising weather possible. It was a lonely afternoon with hardly any customers in the coffee shop. It was a weekday afternoon, after all. Felix came into the store wearing a black hoodie and a smug grin.

“Please don't tell me you want a black coffee”, you said even before he fully got to the counter. The boy clearly hated the bitterness, but wanted to prove a point anyway.

“Hey, this was your idea!”, he laughed.

“We have more than cappuccinos and black coffee, buddy. We don’t have to go into the extremes right away”

“Well I’m hoping that if I keep drinking the black coffee, I’ll get used to the disgustingness.”

You shook your head and laughed. “Tell you what,” you clapped your hands together, an idea hitting you. “I’ll play around with some ingredients and make you something I think you’ll like.”

“Ohhhh”, Felix said. "That sounds fun"

"Yes and maybe it'll help me add drinks to the menu too", you grinned.

"I shall not show you mercy, O worthy opponent". Felix spoke with a British accent, bowing to add some flair.

You played around with steamed milk, vanilla syrup, espresso, chocolate powder, and sugar. Plus whipped cream for good measure. A few minutes later, the drink was ready. Felix came up to the counter and looked at the drink in mock apprehension.

"I call it the Felixir", you said, . "Get it? Like Elixir?"

Felix let out a laugh.

“I know. It’s dumb. But!”, you said, "I played around with a bunch of stuff I know you like. It has chocolate, espresso, whipped cream and some other stuff. I have no idea how it tastes, but my barista senses told me this would be nice".

"I trust your barista senses". Felix took a sip of the Felixir. Whipped cream made a button on his nose. Felix's lips curved into a smile. His half-moon smile shined through. "Your barista senses rock", he said, punching the air.

"Do you like it?"

"I LOVE it. I don't know how you got my favourite ingredients so spot on."

You laughed. "Barista instincts, my friend".

Felix took another sip, holding the cup with both hands.

"Anyway," you continued, "this one's on the house. You deserve it for enduring the black coffee".

"This is so much better than black coffee", he babbled. "Black coffee has so much caffeine in it?? I was practically vibrating all of yesterday".

"Black coffee is for people with a lot of shit to do and not enough energy to do them", you agreed. "This one has espresso too, and also a shit-ton of sugar, so you might still vibrate today, just letting you know."

"I'll take being a popular kid's iPhone if it means I can have whipped cream and caramel and the other stuff".

It was a sunny day. Ladies in sundresses waited for their dates outside the cafe.

“Not a lot of people here, huh?” Felix commented.

“It’s a weekday afternoon, what do you expect? Only teenagers on their lunch breaks come here. And you, for some reason”

“How could I stay away from my favourite barista?”

You rolled your eyes. “Since you’re here anyway, let’s talk. I’m bored.” Was that too blunt?

“Cool, what do you wanna talk about?”

“The meaning of life, God, or Twice. You pick”

“Trick question, Twice is God and the meaning of life”

“You’re too smart”

Felix stroked his hair back, “I know”

You roll your eyes. “What are your favourite songs by them?”

“Literally their entire discography, but Fancy or TT if I had to choose”

“Fuck yeah. Those songs are queens”

Felix looks at you approvingly. “We should hang out sometime”

It was a clear day. Trees danced around in the wind. Another afternoon where there was hardly anyone in the little coffee shop. Felix ordered his Felixir once again with a cheery tone. You spent some time cleaning up the kitchen and rearranging the items on display. Felix was waiting near the counter once you got done, absent-mindedly checking his phone. He put down his phone and gave you a bright smile when he noticed you coming back.

You smiled back. “What’s the occasion, bub?”

“Nothing, I’m just a little bored and I wanted to hang out with you”

“Well, there aren’t a lot of customers so I guess that works out perfectly”

“How’s your day going so far?”

“It’s pretty boring, to be honest. Maybe I’ll watch a movie when I get home. My shift ends in like half an hour.”

“Whaaat? I was planning to watch a movie too! I live right upstairs, actually”

“Really? That explains why you’re always here”, you laughed.

Felix laughed back. “I have nothing to do today”. Felix gave you an expectant look.

Oh.

“Me neither”, you said casually. “Do you think we should watch something together?”

“Yes!” He giggled. “I know I’m not the best with invites, but I’m glad you picked that up”

“Honestly, I’m surprised I got that. I’m really awkward with invites too”

“More reasons to be friends, then”

“We live closer than I thought, by the way. I live across the street. It’s a five-minute walk.”

That afternoon was a pleasant one. Breeze played with the little children on the street. Felix and you were sprawled on the couch, mindlessly watching the trashy movie on TV. An orange cat ㅡ his roommate’s apparently ㅡ decided to laze around on Felix’s lap, his hand absentmindedly stroking its soft fur.

“Why are early 2000s movies so much more dramatic than they need to be?” Felix commented.

“Right? I remember watching this as a kid and it wasn’t half as bad”, you replied

“So it’s true then. Adulthood only makes things go downhill”

“Hey now you’re the one being dramatic”

“Wrong, I’m always dramatic”

“Your apartment is pretty nice, by the way.”

“Thank you. You’re free to come over whenever”

“Won’t your roommate mind?”

“Not really. Minho’s out most of the time and he brings over his friends all the time too.”

You smiled. “Hey also,”, you said. “Since we live pretty close by, we can hang out at my place some time too!”

“That sounds great”, he smiled widely.

It was a cool day. Most of your patrons huddled themselves in hoodies and cardigans. Felix ordered his drink before giving you a curious look. “Did you come to the cafe yesterday?”

“No, I didn’t have a shift. why?” you asked, slightly thrown off.

“Oh that explains it”, he said, “I came in yesterday and you weren’t there. The other barista didn’t know how to make my drink. Or even what it was, actually. And," he paused, "I missed talking to you”

An embarrassing smile crept up your face. “That’s so sweet”, you said, barely audible.

Felix was about to walk back to his table when you said “Hey actually,”

Felix turned around.

“I downloaded a really awful movie yesterday. Wanna make fun of it together at my place?” you said, just a little hint of nervousness in your voice. “My shift ends soon. But like, you don’t have to if you’re busy or something, we can always-”

“I’d love to,” he smiled.

The evening was breezy as you and Felix laughed over the hilariously, excruciatingly bad movie. Felix and you bonded very fast, apparently. Felix was resting his head on your shoulder. It felt so… natural. It was effortless. And comfortable. It was as though your bodies just did what felt familiar to them. You felt Felix’s body shake every time he laughed. You added sarcastic retorts every now and then, Felix joining too. The movie was terrible. But this moment with Felix was beautiful.

It was a breezy summer day, about a month after Felix came over.

Loving Felix was easy. It was second nature. Felix just clicked with you. The line between friends and best friends blurred quickly. And based on how much he spammed you with messages and how much he visited the cafe and how diligently he memorized your schedule and how many times you hung out, he loved you too.

Your phone buzzed.

felix:

are we doing anything today?

maybe

im in the mood for hot dogs i think

oooooo should we go to the park then?

yes !!

after my shift sounds good?

yesss

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

You used to find those emoticons cringey until Felix started using them. Now, it was just fucking adorable.

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

The park was a few streets away. It was a big one. Preteens ran around and played frisbee with their friends or their dogs or their parents. But the two of you luckily found a park bench ever-so-slightly away from the noise and the chaos.

As you sat there talking about nothing and everything, you quietly took in Felix's features. His skin was radiant in the setting sun. His freckles, darker from the sunlight, looked like little flecks of chocolate. His eyes lit up whenever he talked about music. Or cooking. Or you. His cheeks rose and fell with his words, his eyes crinkling up when he smiled.

It was a beautiful moment. You lay your head on Felix's shoulder, half lost in thought. The sun painted the park in a subtle shade or orange. The kids around the park laughed and jumped, being loud and being kids. Felix had stopped talking by then, too busy taking in the sunset. His head rested on yours, your hands almost touching. It was a beautiful moment. But moments with Felix were always beautiful.

It was a cold night. You snuggled into your blankets, intently watching something on your phone.

Your phone buzzed. Felix sent you a meme.

you:

???????? why are you awake

it's 2am

go to sleep

why are YOU awake ????????

im watching something 👉👈

im just reading fics and stuff akdkkdj

what kind of fics 👀

they're fluffy stop making everything dirty

i can't stop me (by twice)

sjskksksjjd

oh also

do you make the brownies and stuff?

or is that someone else

in the cafe i mean

that's me babeyyyy

why tho

i like them :D

:"D

baking w you would be fun 🥺

🥺🥺🥺

im good at baking

and so are you

but maybe we should yeet away the recipes and do whatever

baking is supposed to be precise tho :(

if it fails we eat the cookie dough and erase the whole thing from our memory

nice

i mean

im supposed to be precise with the cafe stuff too but the Felixir wouldn't exist if i followed the rules

now you're getting it

when are we doing this?

buddy

we live five minutes from each other

just come over whenever

fuck planning

im *this* close to straight up giving you my keys

me too tf

hell yeah

also this isn't distracting me from the fact that you need to sleep soon

i feel kinda sleepy actually ngl

sleep.

okay 👉👈

gn !! ily

and please sleep soon aksndn

ily2

okay :]

It was a clear, pleasant afternoon, your curtains swaying in the breeze. The smell of freshly made cookies wafted through your apartment. Felix sat on top of your counter, his legs swinging. Felix took one of the newly-made cookies into his hand and regarded it intently. “Looks pretty good so far. It’s a little bit hard but that’s obvious, we added a lot of ingredients and didn’t adjust the flour properly”

“So much for experimentation”

“We did add a lot of fun stuff though, so my money’s on it tasting good”.

You both bit into a cookie. It was… alright. It wasn’t bad, but you expected it to taste a lot better or a lot worse. You both gave each other disappointed smiles. “Underwhelming.”

“But hey! It wasn’t bad!” Felix added.

“True. Still thought the cookies would be more… more. You know?”

“I know. But who cares about that?” Felix put his arm on your shoulder, “Making this with you was the most fun I had in a while and I couldn't care less what they ended up tasting like.”

You let out a small smile. “I love you”

“And I love you”

You looked up at him. His soft brown eyes were warm with affection.

“Now,” Felix continued, “The cookie dough’s gotta be better right?”

You laughed. “The cookie dough is chocolate sludge at this point”

“Yeah, maybe using M&Ms as chocolate chips was a bit much”

“Probably. But let’s race. Whoever finds the most M&Ms in the dough wins.”

“I already know I’m winning”.

It was a drizzly night. Streetlights reflected on the wet asphalt outside Felix’s apartment. Felix and you had decided to have an impromptu sleepover. It was almost 3am, both of you slightly delirious from the caffeine and the staying up. You were yelling at the TV, desperately trying to get your character to do something, damn it. Felix just smirked beside you, his character easily attacking yours. He was choosing not to kill you quickly, which was almost more annoying than dying straight away. It wasn’t long before Felix won the game. You pouted in annoyance.

“Maybe I should start killing you quickly so you won’t be loud and Minho won’t yell at us for making noise”

“This game sucks”, you pouted.

“You’re just new to it. Did you know you can do twice as much damage if you press B after you attack?”

“Really?”

“Yeah! And do you know how to dodge?”

“No” you said like a kid admitting to breaking something.

“Why did you make me skip the tutorial?”, Felix laughed.

“The past is in the past, Felix. How do I dodge?”

Felix spent a few minutes teaching you which buttons do what and which attacks are effective when. It only took a few slightly frustrating runs before you almost came close to beating him. Maybe he was going easy on you, but that didn’t matter. It was fun.

“You are learning, my protégé”, he said approvingly.

It was a chilly evening. Old white sheets lay spread out on your bedroom floor, your furniture haphazardly moved to the living room. Felix had texted you earlier that day, promising to help you paint your room. You were almost done painting half a wall when you heard his familiar deep voice. “Hey! Missed you.”

“Missed you more”, you smiled.

“What do you need me to do? How may I be of assistance?” he curtsied.

You rolled your eyes. “Just grab a paint brush and do that wall over there. Just make sure it's even and don’t get any on your clothes.”

“You say that with a million paint splatters on you”, he laughed.

Felix got to work. Neither of you really talked. It seemed that Felix was lost in thought, letting his hands do the painting. But it was fine. Because moments with Felix were always beautiful, even the silences.

You were finished with your first wall when you decided to play calm music on your phone. Soothing guitar chords filled the silence.

It was hard to keep track of time. Five songs? Six songs? Maybe an hour? Both of you had made a lot of progress with the walls. It didn’t matter. What did matter was Felix. Halfway through the third or fourth song, you noticed Felix singing to himself.

It was barely audible, he probably wasn’t even aware of it. But his voice was soothing. And soft.

You had never heard him sing before. You wished you did. You could listen to it forever. Felix’s singing voice felt like sweaters and cozy winter days.

You didn’t say anything. You knew he’d be embarrassed if he knew you noticed. But the rest of the painting session gave you butterflies, to say the least.

It was a chilly day. Felix was hunched over his stovetop making ramen while you dramatically read out a fanfic to him from the table. You just finished the kissing scene when Felix let out a disappointed sigh.

“I know right?” You commented.

“I don’t get it. Don’t you think they’d make way more sense as just friends?”

“Waaaay more sense. I feel like the kiss scene is just so unnecessary.”

“I don’t get why writers think everything should have romance in it. I mean, love is friendship right? I mean, for me, it is.”

Your heart stopped. A smile crept up your face. You continued reading out the fanfic, but you didn’t focus on it at all. Because Felix said love is friendship. Love is friendship. Love is friendship!

It was a cold night. You were all bundled up in bed with a hoodie and a blanket. Felix was on the phone with you, refusing to hang up despite being half-asleep.

“Seriously Felix, you can’t even keep your eyes open”

“Mm. But I want to talk to you”, he yawned. His half-asleep voice was deeper than usual and very quiet.

“Alright bub. What do you want to talk about?” You started to feel sleepy too.

“I don’t know. Maybe how amazing you are?”

You laughed. “Fuck off”

“No but… your hair is so soft. And your coffee is really good. And you’re awesome. What the heck. I love you.” he said. He spoke slowly. You could tell he was almost asleep.

“I love you too you beautiful bastard”

You were met with the sounds of soft breathing.

Felix was very endearing when he was half-asleep.

It was a rainy day, rain knocking against Felix’s living room windows. Felix shared a blanket with you atop the couch. You leaned on Felix, your head on his chest. His heartbeat synced with the rain on the window. Felix’s arm draped your side. Both of you focused on the movie in front of you. It was a good one so far. The plot was well written, and the actors were doing a good job.

A door creaked open behind you. Felix and you turned to look at the source.

Felix's roommate, Minho entered the living room. He looked well dressed in a leather jacket and chunky black boots. "Do you think Jisung will like the jacket?", he asked Felix.

"He's gonna love it", Felix replied, smirking.

“Alright, I gotta go”, Minho said, picking up his umbrella and walking to the door. He looked at you. “Sorry we couldn’t talk today, y/n, but have fun with your boyfriend”.

He was already out the door before either of you could protest. Felix looked at you awkwardly before turning back to the TV. Felix was not your boyfriend. And clearly he wasn’t very comfortable being called that. To be fair, neither were you.

“I’m sorry about him”, he sighed. Both of you looked everywhere but each other.

“Don’t be," you said, “ I know people think we’re dating because we’re comfortable with each other and stuff.”

“Right. But hey, you’re my best friend and you always will be.”

You smiled. “You too”.

It was nice being best friends with Felix. Everytime you’ve been this close with someone, they all seemed to expect more. They all seemed to expect romance. But that just didn’t work for you. Romance was weird.

You’re my best friend and you always will be.

Felix wouldn’t mind, would he? Probably not. But what if he’s mad you didn’t tell him yet? What if he thinks you don’t trust him? Or maybe his whole view on you will change and maybe he won’t like you after that. What if that happens?

You’re my best friend and you always will be.

You’re his best friend and you always will be. It’ll be alright. It’ll be harder the longer you wait right?

What if he really will be mad at you though? He’s your best friend, why haven’t you told him yet?

A mere few seconds passed before you shifted off his chest. Felix sat up, sensing your tension. He paused the movie. "Y/N?"

Fuck it. It’s too late to ignore this now. You looked into his eyes before turning away. “I’ve been holding off on telling you something.”

Felix’s voice filled with concern. “Tell me.”

You took a breath, trying to keep yourself from panicking. You were too nervous to look at him. “Minho joked about us being together and I know neither of us see each other in a romantic way, but I just… I don’t know why I haven’t told you this yet. But… it’s not just you. I don’t feel romantic attraction to anyone. I’m aromantic.”

Felix put his hand on your shoulder and moved closer to you. Your thoughts were still racing, your heart rate still high, your breath still shaky. You were still too nervous to look at him.

You kept going, “I haven’t told you this. I know. And I’m sorry. But you’re still my best friend and I hope you don’t think I don’t trust you or something. I love you, okay? I just… I guess I just don’t like coming out. But I just had to today for some reason. I’m sorry if this makes you view me differently.” You thoughts were still racing after you said what you wanted to say. Your hands shook slightly.

And Felix noticed all of that.

He put his hand on top of yours. “Y/N”, he said gently.

You hesitated, then looked at him. His eyes were warm. His smile was understanding - the smile of someone who’s done this before. The smile of someone who’s already dealt with the emotions you were having. He gently pushed your head back onto his chest. “Breathe with me.”

His chest raised as he took a breath. You closed your eyes and took a breath too. He let it out in a few seconds. So did you. He took in another breath.

Felix spoke softly. “Coming out is hard. Even if it’s to someone you love. What you just did there takes so much courage. And I’m so, so proud of you. I love you so much. And our love doesn’t have to be romantic for it to be deep. I love you. And nothing will change that.”

You buried yourself in his chest.

His chest rose and fell with every breath he took. You breathed with him. His heartbeat was calming.

I love you. And nothing will change that.

“Thank you.” you said. “For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it weird?”, you said quietly, “That we’re always so close together? I really like being with you. And hugging you. And cuddling you. But I won’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No. It’s not weird. Not to me. I love this. And we can do this all day long without it meaning anything more than friendship.” Felix gave you a forehead kiss. “Besides,” he said, “What good are best friends if they don’t give you hugs?”

You hugged him tighter. “I love you so much”

“I love you so much too.” His voice was warm and kind and understanding. You didn’t bother holding back the tears.

Lee Felix was a sweet boy. And Lee Felix was the sun, giving you warmth and love and reasons to wake up. Lee Felix was a sweet boy. And the universe was a thing of beauty to let your love shine through.

a/n: this took a really long time to write bc of personal stuff im sorry, but this req made me realize i was aromantic skaskdlkdlk :’D. remember my requests are open so feel free to request stuff from me and i’ll try not to take eight years to do it. take care yall

#felix #felix x reader #felix x male #felix x gender neutral reader #skz x reader #skz x male #skz fics #best friend!felix #best friend fic #felix fluff #aromantic #coming out #coffeeshop au #skz #stray kids #skz fluff

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pain-somnia · 4 years

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Title: Take Me Now, I’m In Too Far Rating: M (for sexual content) Disclaimer Playlist Art Credit: @inknigella (used with permission) Day’s Notes: I have recently updated this fic on Patreon. It is one of three fics of mine exclusive to Patreon, but here’s a chance to read Part 1 of my “exes as roommates” AU. This fic is dear to me in almost the same way Kingdom For Two is. The fic started as a simple Roommates AU, but then was molded into something else when I decided to add the fact that they were exes. I wanted to write about two people that love each other a lot but growing up and becoming “real” adults made things difficulty. If you would like to give this fic a chance and enjoy Part 1, you can find Part 2 & Part 3 on Patreon. Here is a link to the tag for this fic. I have opened up the $1 tier permanently for access to exclusive fics and early access to publicly posted fics, but I have other tiers with different perks. One of the perks for certain tiers are PDFs that contain exclusive art that will only be found in full on my Patreon (or in some cases Cj’s Patreon). The above banner was created with a preview of one of the many works Ink has provided to help bring my work to life.

I hope you all enjoy the first part of this fic and consider becoming one of my patrons 😊

Part One

She was going to kill Karin. And her stupid boyfriend. She was going to kill Karin and her boyfriend and then take back the armchair she let them have as a moving-in-together gift.

Sakura wasn’t that surprised when Karin told her she was moving out. She had been spending so much time at Suigetsu’s apartment, it was as if she had already moved out months ago. It was only a matter of time before the two of them would officially move in together.

Karin had been considerate and had found her a new roommate before she gave her the news. And although Sakura wasn’t too keen on the idea of living with a stranger—a man at that—she was willing to put up with it for her friend’s happiness.

At least for a few months while she looked for a new place if possible.

Unfortunately for Sakura, she couldn’t set a day to actually meet her new roommate before he was set to move in. Their schedules conflicted most days so Karin went ahead and took care of all of the necessary paperwork and was present when he moved in. With how things had begun, Sakura assumed she wouldn’t meet her new roommate until her day off.

She hadn’t expected to run into him as she was leaving for work at the bakery at three in the morning and he was coming home smelling of booze.

She definitely didn’t expect to see her ex-boyfriend holding a key to her apartment.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Sasuke muttered, running a hand through his messy, jet black hair.

“You’re my new roommate?” Sakura scoffed, wringing her hands in the scarf she was attempting to put on on her way out. “How did you not know that I was Karin’s roommate?”

Sasuke looked at her impassively for a moment, as if mulling over what he wanted to say before pushing past her and saying, “I’m going to bed.”

“What? We’re not even going to talk about this?”

“If we start now, you’re going to be late for work,” he called back to her without turning around. “Can’t have that can we?”

Sakura scoffed but couldn’t retort. He was right. If she missed her bus she was going to have to wait for the next one and it would cause her to be late.

She wanted nothing more than to bang on his bedroom door and demand that he come out and speak with her. How could he just go to sleep!?

“We’re talking when I get back!” She shouted, grabbing the front door. Sakura waited but there was no response. She growled in frustration and slammed the door behind her on her way out.

“Have you been taking your anger out on dough again?” Ino commented dryly between page flips of a cake catalogue, pointing out cute designs to the toddler sitting on her lap and cooing.

Sakura rubbed her temple with the heel of her palm and sighed. It was one in the afternoon and she had spent the day busy working on custom orders. At the moment she was sitting through a consultation with her childhood friend who needed to order a birthday cake for her son, Inojin. She had tried to throw herself into baking and packaging orders but now that there was a slow down where it was only her and two of the shop clerks, her mind was free to think about how her ex was now living with her.

“You know how Karin moved out and found me a roommate?”

“Uh-huh, it was kind of unexpected. Isn’t it a little early though? They’ve only been dating for━”

“Sasuke is the roommate she found me.”

“Holy━sorry, honey.” Ino interrupted herself and covered her son’s ears. “Holy shit!”

“I wanted to call her and chew her out but in her defense, she doesn’t know he’s my ex-boyfriend.” Sakura slumped in her seat, took a fork and dug into one of the cake slices she brought out for tasting. “When I did get a chance to talk to her earlier, she said that apparently Suigetsu is best buddies with him and Kiba. Kiba and Sasuke were rooming with their friend Shino but the lease was coming to an end and Shino was moving away for a teaching job and Kiba decided to move in with his fiancée. So━”

“So Sasuke needed a new place quick and conveniently Suigetsu knew a place close enough to his workplace and with someone that desperately needed a new roommate.”

Sakura tossed the fork over her shoulder in defeat and dropped her head into her hands. Ino reached over and patted her arm in a comforting manner.

“I give you guys two weeks.”

“Two weeks for what?” Sakura lifted her head up to narrow her eyes at Ino. “Before we kill each other?”

Ino covered Inojin’s ears one more time and said, “Two weeks before you’re fucking.”

“Ino!” Sakura sat up, looking affronted, hand clutching the front of her apron.

“You guys used to go at it like rabbits,” Ino gave her a sly smile, “and it’s not like you guys broke up because you grew to hate each other.”

“That was years ago, Ino.” Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed the cake slices closer to Inojin. He immediately sank his fingers into the cake and ate from his hands. “He’s probably moved on anyway.”

“It was the stupidest break up.”

“I know it was, but we were so busy and our schedules never aligned. It was frustrating.” Sakura sighed and stared off into space. “It’s been four years…”

Ino took out some wet wipes and cleaned Inojin’s chubby fingers. “So what are you going to do?”

Sakura shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Ino looked at her incredulously. “You’re just going to live with him and not do a thing about it.”

“I didn’t even notice he was there for three days already.” Sakura shrugged again. “And our schedules never sync up. I really don’t think it will be an issue.”

“Unless he brings someone home,” Ino said the words slowly so Sakura couldn’t miss what she was telling her.

“He’s not as insensitive as that.” Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest. The action was to get as close to hugging herself without actually doing it.

The truth was that the Sasuke she knew wasn’t insensitive. But she didn’t know this Sasuke; a Sasuke that was twenty-five instead of the twenty year old she knew and loved.

The new apartment was a lot closer to the tattoo parlor he worked at than his old place. It was one of the things that sold him on it when Suigetsu mentioned that Karin was moving in with him and leaving her old roomie without. That and the washer and dryer included in the apartment which meant no more paying at a laundromat or to use the communal laundry center.

Sasuke wasn’t too keen on sharing a space with a woman he didn’t know but Karin insisted that his roommate was clean and quiet and that with her work schedule he wouldn’t be running into her except on Sundays when her bakery was closed.

Bakery.

That was the first sign that had him want to put the pen down and walk away. Because baking is what she wanted to do for a living. But what were the odds that Karin was talking about her? There were tons of bakeries in the city and Sakura didn’t own one the last time he checked.

But that was five years ago when she was nineteen and too young. She was still pretty young to be a business owner but with Sakura’s tenacity there was a highly likely chance that she would have her own shop. And wasn’t that one of the reasons she had been saving every penny she could when she started working?

Shaking his head of all of those thoughts, he had signed the documents that would transfer him as the new leasee replacing Karin.

It wasn’t until he was moving in that Sasuke found out who exactly Karin’s roommate had been.

Suigetsu and he were bringing in boxes while Karin gave him a tour of the apartment when he saw the photos on the wall. Anyone could dye their hair pink but what were the odds that another pink haired woman around Karin’s age would have gone to Catholic school for high school and wore the same uniform that Sakura used to prance around in.

“Sakura is pretty sentimental so she has photos all over the apartment,” he distantly heard Karin explain as he examined all of the photos that were lined up in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Come check out the bathroom. It’s pretty big ‘cause the washer and dryer are set up in there. There’s a door to block out that area from the toilet and shower cabin for some privacy. It’s frosted glass but you can’t really see what’s going on on the other side.”

Karin hadn’t been friends with Sakura when the two of them had been dating so he couldn’t fault her for not knowing but Suigetsu did know that Sakura was his ex.

An ex he was still kind of hung up on.

Which is why after work he headed to the bar with Kiba and Tamaki, Kiba’s fiancée. They were supposed to celebrate him finding a new place but after Kiba asked why Suigetsu wasn’t there, Sasuke explained that he was banned from their usual bar for a few weeks because he let him move in with his ex without warning him.

If he was lucky he would never have to run into Sakura while he was living there. Because wasn’t that the cause of their breakup before? With her busy culinary school schedule and apprenticeship and then his work at the parlor running into late at night, they barely saw each other.

So stumbling in slightly drunk and a little high at three in the morning, Sasuke didn’t expect to see her on the other side of the apartment door in the middle of bundling up for the November cold.

Sakura still looked like she did at nineteen but different at the same time. Her face had lost most of the roundness of youth, but her figure was no longer as slim. She was still on the thin side, but unlike Karin who was all sharp edges and harsh angles, Sakura had filled out either with age or from eating one too many of her own cupcakes.

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair before tucking the arm it was attached to behind his head. He was finding it difficult to stay asleep which was all he had planned on doing before work for the day. Sakura had said something about talking later and he had been dreading having to have the conversation. He vaguely recalled saying something snarky about her running late for work. No doubt she would be upset over that.

The conversation was going to happen. But considering he would be gone before she came home from work, who knew when it would actually take place.

If he was lucky, she would wait until they were home and not find him at work like she used to.

When Sasuke first met Sakura she was wearing all of the cliche warning signs.

He was busy sketching when she strolled into the shop. Sasuke was supposed to be manning the reception desk and was likely to get bitched at by his cousin’s best friend for not paying attention.

“Hey,” greeted a cheerful voice.

Looking up from his sketchbook, Sasuke blinked in confusion at what he was seeing. Before him stood two teenage girls wearing the dark green tartan patterned pleated skirt and white button down shirt of a school uniform. The blonde one had a sweater wrapped around her waist but the slightly shorter girl with rose gold hair had a cream colored school cardigan with the school crest emblazoned on the left side of her chest.

“Our Lady of Sorrows is seven blocks,” Sasuke pointed out the door, “that way.”

“We have an appointment.” The blonde girl blew a bubble with her gum and popped it. “The school day also ended like an hour ago, dude.”

Raising an eyebrow, he flipped through the appointment book and asked, “names?”

“Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno,” the girl with the pink hair answered, pointing at the girl that matched the names she gave. “We have an appointment with my cousin Sasori.”

Looking down the schedule log there it was. The new piercer did have an appointment with an Ino and a Sakura.

“Aren’t piercings prohibited at catholic schools?” Sasuke asked, eyeing the uniforms.

“Yeah, but you can’t get caught if you get them where the nuns can’t see them.” The pink haired girl winked at him, green eyes sparkling mischievously.

“What kind of piercings are you getting then?” He asked, taking out the waiver forms.

“Belly button for Ino.” The blonde girl raised her hand and took her form and filled out the form.

He turned to Sakura and waited for her answer. Her lips turned upwards at the corners in a coy smile.

“Hips.”

Even now, if Sasuke closed his eyes and concentrated on the memory of Sakura swiveling her hips as he thrust up into her, he could see the jewelry twinkling at him as she dipped her hips.

A lot of years had gone by since that first encounter and Sasuke was no longer the shop slave he was during his apprenticeship and Sakura was no longer that rebellious catholic school girl.

It didn’t stop him from wondering if her dermals were still in place or if after all those years her skin rejected the piercings and they had to be removed.

“What’s up with you, kid?” He felt someone ruffle his hair and he swatted at the air. The only one that had the courage to do so was Konan, one of their piercers.

“Nothing,” he replied, sanitizing the tattoo bed before his next client showed up.

“His ex girlfriend found out he lives with her,” Kiba cackled from his work station. Sasuke took his discarded gloves and threw them across the room until they hit him with a smack. “Ow!”

“Why would that be a surprise?” Konan asked. Sasuke made himself busy taking needles to the autoclave to avoid responding.

“She works baker’s hours,” Sasuke heard Kiba responding for him. “They have opposing schedules so Sui’s girlfriend took care of everything.”

“Good luck with that.” Konan went to the reception counter to check the appointment book. She had already moved on from the conversation.

I’m going to need more than luck, Sasuke grumbled inwardly.

Sakura drummed her fingers against her mug, nails clinking against the ceramic. She knew Sasuke wouldn’t get home until late so she called the co-owner of her bakery and asked her to oversee the baking of the everyday goods the following morning.

While Sakura mostly ran the show in the kitchen—Hinata being too soft and gentle to command the staff—she was mostly the cake artist and worked on custom orders. It was a lot more relaxed than the job she had as a pastry chef for the high end hotel in the city, but it still demanded a lot of her time.

She could spend hours of her day just to work on a cake that would still take her three days to make all of the components for it.

It wasn’t until one in the morning that the front door creaked open, keys jingling as they were pulled out of the lock.

“You stayed up.” Sasuke toed his boots off and lined them up next to hers. The leather work boots were of a popular brand so they hadn’t alarmed Sakura despite them being part of Sasuke’s signature look.

Sakura stood up from his seat at the couch and wrapped her oversized cardigan tighter around her body. She hugged herself, feeling exposed in her pajamas. “I said we had to talk.”

“There’s not much to talk about.” Sasuke tossed his keys on the kitchen island. Sakura grabbed them and placed them on a wall hook next to her own set of keys. “I need a place to live, you need a roommate. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Sakura asked, voice soft and slow, urging him to re-examine their situation. When he continued to stare at her impassively, Sakura scoffed.

“I didn’t know you were Karin’s roommate until I was moving in.”

“I know.” Sakura ran a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back. Sasuke wasn’t a liar. At least the Sasuke she knew wasn’t a liar. “I know.”

“So is this the end of the discussion?” Sasuke’s eyes drifted from her to the hallway behind her. It was late and all he wanted was to get to bed. “I don’t really see any problem with us living together. You didn’t even notice that I was here for three days.”

The problem is that I never got over you. “Alright, if there’s no problem then let’s go over the rules.”

“Rules?” Sasuke gave her a blank look.

“Yes, rules. Karin and I had them and now so will we.”

“Okay.” Sasuke crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the island. “What are your rules?”

“Rule number one: no fucking on the couch.”

Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he choked on an inhale. “That’s a rule you guys had or is that one you made for me?”

“That was an actual rule we had.” Sakura shivered in disgust. “Suigetsu has a very pale ass.”

“Yeah, everyone’s seen more of Sui than they’ve ever wanted to.”

“Rule number two: toilet seat needs to be put back down after use.”

“Okay, that’s definitely one you made up for me.” Sasuke stood you straighter and looked her up and down. “Do I get to make rules too?”

“I will consider them.”

“Alright.” Sasuke was silent for a moment as he pondered. “No obnoxious noises such as vacuuming when you know the other is sleeping.”

“That’s reasonable.” Sakura sat down on one of the bar stools at the island and took out her notepad. She took out a pen and wrote down a few lines. “I do my laundry twice a week━Wednesdays and Sundays, usually around noon. Having a schedule kind of helps out ‘cause the laundry room is in the bathroom.”

They went back and forth writing down rules and going over each other’s work schedule. Sakura tapped the pen on the table and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to step on any toes or be misunderstood but she needed to bring up an uncomfortable topic.

“No overnight guests.” Sasuke raised an eyebrow and in a rush to recover Sakura blurted out, “for either of us! At least not without a heads up. I don’t want to be walking around in my underwear and there’s a stranger in my home.”

“Why would you be walking around in your━?”

“I sleep like that sometimes!” Sakura snapped, cheeks heating up. “I wake up to use the bathroom or get water and I’m too drowsy to consider pants.”

“Why do you sleep in your underwear if you get cold easily?” Sasuke’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“I come home too tired to change so I just sleep in my underwear.” Sakura stomped her foot. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Don’t judge me!”

“Just remember that I live here now and will see your ass if you decide that pants are too much,” Sasuke yawned, “effort. I’m going to bed now.”

Sakura watched him head to his room with a frown on her face. It wasn’t until she heard the lock on his door click that she let out an exhausted sigh.

Does he have to look cute when he’s sleepy?

“Is this too much for a three year old’s birthday?” Sakura sat back and looked thoughtfully at her sketch with her chin resting on her fist.

Hinata shrugged as she continued to pipe buttercream flowers. “I mean it’s more for Ino, isn't it?”

“God,” Sakura rolled her eyes, “it really is. I’m sure Inojin would be happy with a dinosaur on a cake instead of a dinosaur made out of cake.”

Hinata giggled softly as she continued to make a bouquet out of cupcakes. She was working on cupcakes for a bridal shower. Sakura had helped her with the structure to make it appear that it was suspended in the air and now all she had to do was decorate it.

When Sakura had met Hinata, the young woman wasn’t the best baker. It was an issue of confidence and being unsure if it was the best decision she had made. Upon discovering that Hinata had a few years to become a successful baker or get married to a man her father chose, Sakura took her under her wing and when they were ready they used Hinata’s trust fund to secure a location.

At that point Sakura already had a reputation for her cake sculptures so they lucked out.

Just because Sakura couldn’t be with the person she loved, it didn’t mean she was going to watch someone give up on their dream and marry someone they were forced to.

“So how has Tinder been working out for you?” Sakura drawled as she took out the ingredients she was going to need.

“I prefer Bumble, actually,” Hinata mumbled, face flushing pink. “You know it’s weird describing myself as pleasantly plump. Usually I would just say fat or chubby.”

“But you are pleasantly plump,” Sakura teased her. “And good call on Bumble. Message any guys?”

“I might have,” Hinata muttered under her breath, face turning a dark shade of red.

“Oh, you dirty slut.”

“We only met for coffee!” Hinata insisted over Sakura’s laughter. Sakura waved her hand at her and tried to reign in her laughter. It was quiet in the kitchen until Hinata said, “I wouldn’t have minded though. He has such pretty blue eyes.”

Sakura only stopped laughing when Hinata threw buttercream at her face.

The assistants walked in from the front of the shop to find Sakura covered in pink and purple frosting, armed with a piping bag full of green frosting, and Hinata shielding her cupcake sculpture.

Sakura was exhausted by the time she got home. It was one of those rare days where she didn’t get home until late. There was so much math and engineering into creating cake sculptures and trial and error.

She slumped against her apartment door and groaned. She had just unlocked the door but had no energy to push it open.

“You’re almost there, don’t pass out now.” Turning slightly, Sakura mumbled incoherently at the sight of Sasuke holding a take out bag. “Jesus Christ, you’re dead on your feet.”

“Carry me,” Sakura grumbled.

Sighing to himself, Sasuke handed her the bag of takeout and crouched down, scooping her legs up and cradling her. “How the fuck did Karin deal with you? She’s twiggy.”

“Suigetsu was usually around or she’d drag me across the floor.” Sakura opened the bag of food and examined the contents as Sasuke set her down on the couch. “Anything I’d like in here?”

“I thought you would be sleeping, but I have some stuff you could tolerate.” He grabbed two plates and brought them to the coffee table and began to serve her some of his food. “Do you ever take a break?”

“I have a day off tomorrow technically.”

“But you’re going to go to work.” Sasuke shook his head, unruly hair swaying around his face. “Typical.”

And with that Sakura lost all desire to eat despite not having had anything to eat all day except for some bread and tastings.

“Hey, where are you? It’s getting weird just sitting here. I can order right now if you’re nearby.”

“Oh, shoot! Sasuke I’m sorry but I’m still at work.”

“Wasn't today your day off?”

So what if she was a “workaholic?” If she were a man no one would see anything wrong with how much she worked.

She knew that eventually she was going to be faced with reminders of what a shitty girlfriend she had been, but she had hoped that she would be alone as she looked back on all of the mistakes she had made.

Sasuke had forgiven her for the first missed date but once he had been stood up a second, third, fourth, fifth time he stopped making any plans for them.

“I gotta take this coat off,” Sakura mumbled, fumbling with the buttons. Sasuke reached over and helped her get free of her coat and then hung it up on the hooks by the door. If he was going to be this nice for the duration of the time they lived together, the shittier she was going to feel.

“Karin said you owned a bakery. When did that happen?” He handed her a plate full of food, much more food than Sakura would have served herself, but one look from Sasuke had her clamming up and taking the set of chopsticks he placed flat across her palm.

“A few years ago…” Sakura swallowed a bite of dumpling. “It was kind of an accident.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and paused in his chewing. Sakura laughed through her nose and explained to him how she had met Hinata.

She had been working at the same high end hotel she had done her apprenticeship when Hinata had been hired on the spot. The tiny, plump woman was quiet and stuttered when speaking to her coworkers because no one wanted her there.

Hinata had been hired because of her last name—the hotel being owned by the Hyūga family—with no references nor any culinary school training which was required to work at the Michelin star hotel restaurant. Due to the fact they were around the same age and because she was the newest hire, Sakura was tasked with watching over the woman. No one else would take up the responsibility thinking that Hinata would hold them back.

Sakura just couldn’t leave Hinata alone. She reminded her so much of herself when she was younger. She helped to train her during her off time and guided her through the French techniques that Sakura had been trained in.

The desire to learn and the drive was there, hidden under the fear of failure.

Sakura moved on to work at a custom cake shop where she could use more of her artistic abilities. Eventually the owner was ready to retire and was willing to sell the store to her.

She wanted to own her shop one day. It was part of her goals but brick and mortar shops were expensive. If it weren’t for Hinata’s trust fund she would never have been able to afford the shop. The two of them had kept in touch and when Sakura found out that Hinata was on her way to quitting being a pastry chef, they made plans to go into business together.

Sasuke listened to her story, never interjecting but nodding at certain intervals and slight facial shifts showing that Sakura still had his attention.

“So what have you been up to?” Sakura asked, digging through the leftover noodles in one of the cartons.

“I still work at the same shop. I moved out a few years ago. Funnily enough it was my mom that was on my case not my dad.”

“Really?” Sakura was genuinely shocked.

When she had last seen Fugaku he wasn’t the biggest supporter of Sasuke’s chosen profession. He had paid for him to go to art school, not to waste his talent working at a tattoo parlor. His mother, Mikoto, was the one that had always been his personal cheerleader.

“I think it was all of the new ink,” Sasuke gestured to his sleeve covered arms, “that really did it for my mom. She always made faces at them and commented about what kind of girl I thought I would be attracting with them.”

I always liked your tattoos. Sakura shrugged and stuffed noodles into her mouth to keep from commenting out loud.

When Sakura was just freshly eighteen and finishing her final year of high school, Sasuke was the exact kind of guy her grandmother had wanted her to stay away from. She had left money behind in her will for Sakura to attend the same school she and Sakura’s mother, Mebuki, had attended.

Our Lady of Sorrows was a Catholic private school that Sakura’s parents wouldn’t have been able to afford without the money her grandmother had left behind. She had probably hoped that Sakura would go to private school, be abstinent, go to college and then medical school and then eventually marry a doctor.

It was too bad that Sakura preferred to be in the kitchen with her father a lot more than she cared for her school. If they had let her stay in public school there may have been a better chance of her focusing on her studies and eventually going to medical school like her grandma had wanted her to. Sakura had been miserable at Our Lady of Sorrows, her only solace being Ino and baking.

And Sasuke.

Sasuke had been the kind of cliché salvation a teenage girl fantasized about. And she still couldn’t believe that at one point in their lives, she had been his.

Ino cut off the boy that usually sat at the desk in front of Sakura and slid into the seat, a manic look in her eyes. “Guess what?”

“I’m not playing this game,” Sakura laughed, completely ignoring the boy that was frowning at Ino.

“Well, fine. Be boring.” Ino huffed, blowing her bangs up and letting them flop back on her face. “But anyway so I was talking to your cousin Sasori━”

“Ino, he’s way too old for you and he’s gay. And you have a boyfriend.”

“That’s not why I was talking to your cousin, Billboard Brow.” Ino flicked Sakura’s forehead. “But anywho. So I went to visit your cousin at that parlor he’s working at now ‘cause I wanna get those piercings you wanted for your birthday━no arguments. They’re on me. We’re going after school.”

“That’s awfully generous of you.” Sakura pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at her. “Is Sasori giving you a discount?”

Ino scoffed. “I wish! That miser,” she grumbled. Ino shook her hair out and then smiled slyly at her. “But that’s not even the best part.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. Ino was really milking the big surprise. She was too impatient for this and the homeroom teacher would show up soon.

“Remember that mega hottie from the public school at the student showcase down at The Factory Art Center?”

Sakura groaned, dropping her head onto her planner. How could she forget? She was just lucky that he hadn’t seen her run straight into a wall because she had been so distracted. The only good thing that came about that was that Ino met her boyfriend Sai that day. And that the boy hadn’t noticed her accident.

It had been a student showcase for the senior students in the schools in the city and Sakura and Ino attended for extra credit. Sakura had been mindlessly looking at all of the pieces until a tall boy wearing all black with messy hair had caught her eye. She had barely heard Ino call out “Dibs!” before she ran into one of the pillars because she wasn’t paying attention to where she was walking.

Ino had given up chase and did her best friend duties by checking up on Sakura. Luckily for her, a different dark haired boy had seen the whole thing and had come over to help out and Ino got her older boyfriend anyway.

“That was almost a whole year ago. Why must you remind me that I embarrassed myself in front of like, seven different senior classes.”

“Mega hottie works at the parlor your cousin does. He’s an apprentice-slash-shop slave.”

That, Sakura hadn’t expected. She had seen his work and expected him to go off to art school and then maybe come back to The Factory Art Center to be a resident artist or for him to even switch tracks and work at Glass & Iron━he did have some lampwork and some welding work as part of his showcase.

“So what?” Sakura swallowed. The grin on Ino’s face was foreboding.

“So,” Ino reached over and played with the ends of Sakura’s long pink hair, “someone is going to take her cute butt down there and finally meet him.”

“Sakura.”

Sakura blinked at the hand that waved in front of her face. Sasuke looked down at her with concern. She looked just about ready to pass out in her noodles.

“Are you okay? You should probably get to bed.” He would just have to clean up everything on his own. And if she tried to go to work on her day off, he’d call the tiny red terror━Karin or Sakura’s cousin, Sasori━to force her to rest for once.

Sakura rubbed her eye with the back of her little fist and murmured, “I should. Thank you for the food.”

She was so small and tired, Sasuke just wanted to scoop her up and bundle her up in her blankets. But then he remembered that she would be going to her own room and he would be going to his and there were four years between now and when he was hers.

Did she still curl herself inward like a cat when she slept? Bury herself under three blankets that weighed almost as much she did?

He could help her to her room and find out. She was dead on her feet and would probably need him to keep from stumbling and running into a wall. It would be so easy to just curl his arm around her waist, pull her closer to his sturdier frame.

It would be easy, oh so easy. And that’s why Sasuke left her to her own devices.

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #day!fics

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rosesisupposes · 4 years

Text

Other Half

hi i was haunted with the idea of subverting a soulmate trope after a chat with @potestessemagishomosexualitatis and it evolved in like a day on discord so here y’all go!

relationships: brotherly prinxiety, QPR moceit, romantic royality, implied/eventual anxceit

content tags: musician roman, techie/sound-guy Virgil, deaf Patton, QPRs, amatonormativity, soulmates & lack thereof, happy ending

word count: 2,847

read on ao3

Roman has half a soulmark, waiting to make skin contact with his Soulmate to finally be completed.

His brother, not so much.

Context: In this world, soulmates have half a symbol somewhere on their skin, each with one half. When soulmates have skin contact for the first time, both marks complete. The amatonormativity (prioritizing romantic love) is very strong, despite the fact that soulmates have frequently been platonic, not just romantic. It’s still a rather progressive idea, similar to gay marriage, and the traditions and stories are all centered around that romantic ideal. In that vein, some people have thirds or fourth of a mark would need to contact all their soulmates to have a complete mark. Marks are very much for One Person (or, occasionally, Two or Three Specific People), and so not everyone meets their mate. Not everyone has the means. They could be anywhere in the world! But unfortunately, there's still an idea that even if you're with a partner, you'd leave them if you met your soulmate, and that other relationship are just settling.

⁂

Enter two brothers.

Roman goes starry-eyed over stories of meet-cutes and surprise soulmates. He wants to know if he'll feel it, as his mark completes. Someday, when he meets his Someone™️!!!

And then his brother, Virgil.

Virgil... doesn't have a mark. He's not sure he's heard of that before. He has some freckles, but those fade with the seasons. Soulmarks don't fade.

Roman has half a circle, and it either has petals or rays around it. A flower or a sun, he thinks. It's right on his bicep, so he frequently goes sleeveless, and greets new people by taking both their hands in his every time. Just in case.

Lots of people do that- but it makes Virgil uncomfortable. Even if he knows he'll never be the one to trigger someone's mark, he hates knowing that's what everyone expects. He'd rather keep his hands to himself. He wears his big baggy hoodie to avoid the expectant stares of people looking for his mark, and avoids skin contact as much as he can.

They grow up in a family without a ton of resources, so neither can afford to take the 'Soul Year' some teens do where they travel before going into higher education. But Roman's determined that his career will help him meet hundreds, no, thousands of people, and he will find his soulmate!

Virgil really doesn't love the whole soulmate thing, the obsession with it, the constant reminder that he doesn’t have one and will never have one. But he does love his brother.

He tries, sometimes, to temper Roman's excitement just to make sure it doesn't hurt too much if he never finds The One. But mostly he just listens as Roman waxes poetic about his hypothetical love.

Roman, for several years, went silent, assuming Virgil wouldn't want to hear it. But Virgil has just kinda accepted it, you know? He's basically like everyone who never ends up meeting their mate, except he gets to skip the years of doubt and worry that their mate might suddenly appear at any time. He knows from the get-go. He’ll never have to look back with regret or sorrow, never have to worry about disrupted relationships, never need to mourn that his hypothetical mate might have died before he could meet them. It’s fine, really.

Roman becomes a singer and songwriter, and acts on the side. Virgil does his cover art and helps him with the sound-mixing. They're a great team - and they always have been.

Virgil makes friends with the roadies and techies, happy to leave Roman in the spotlight. He dates, sometimes. It's easier when they go on tour- a short international stay means no promises, no uncomfortable conversations about the future, no intrusive knowledge of a partner's Someone™️ out there.

After years of touring, Roman is internationally known and recognized. But he's also starting to lose hope.

He's lost count of all the meet-and-greets he's been to, how many hands he's grabbed from the stage into the crowd. He makes sure to at least high-five every roadie and tech, every opening act or announcer. His songs range from fantastical to domestic, from sweet and bubbly to sorrowful and yearning, and he loves creating, he does. But he knows there's someone out there for him, and he wants to meet them so, so badly.

They're in Paris for a show, and Virgil and Roman are strolling along the Seine. It's Spring, Roman's favorite time of year, and all the trees are in bloom. It looks like something out of a Hallmark movie.

Roman sighs heavily.

Virgil bumps him with an elbow. "Hey, no moping. That's my aesthetic, no stealing."

"Vee, what if I don't ever meet them?"

"Ro-"

"I know I should keep hoping, but- I've touched so many people and still haven't found them, what if I never will?"

"Then you'll be like most of us, Ro. Find love & companionship the new way: with hard work and dating apps."

Roman nods, but sighs again. "I just... really wanna, Vee." His voice is small, like a pouting kid.

"I know. I hope you do."

They keep walking, but Roman's practically shuffling. On the one hand, he is a fucking drama queen.

On the other hand, Virgil wants him to feel better.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil orders ice cream from a vendor in clumsy but serviceable French and presents Roman with his sprinkle-covered cone. Just like he knew it would, it perks him up immediately.

"Chocolate! My favorite!!"

"How are you possibly older than me. You are five."

"I just have childlike wonder, not a well of ennui!"

"Fuckin' dork."

"Edgy poser."

"Prima donna."

"Nerd."

Distracted, Roman walks straight into a man looking off at the river. He stumbles and trips and they both fall.

"Oh goodness gracious, forgive me, excusez moi, je suis desole! Pardonnez-moi!" he rattles off.

The man smiles, and his hands dance. Virgil realizes he's signing. Sorry, I didn't see you there!

Luckily, Virgil understands it - he’s taken classes in ASL, just for kicks.

Roman knows very little sign, but he learned a couple of phrases. Sorry!

Virgil adds, It was our fault, we weren't watching.

Virgil recognizes the starry-eyed look on his brother's face. It's yet another Infatuation At First Sight, where he throws his whole heart into hoping.

"Vee, Vee, ask him his name please?" he says, smiling for all he's worth at the curly-haired man in front of him.

Before Virgil gets a chance, he sees the man's eyes flick up and past them, and he breaks into a sunny smile. (Virgil might actually understand his brother's infatuation, for once)

Another person comes over, holding two ice creams. Virgil does a slight double-take. Like him, this newcomer chooses not to show very much skin. But they've covered even their hands. Ice cream somehow looks funny in a gloved hand.

Handing one to the first man, they start signing with one hand, far faster than he can follow. He catches a couple of signs he recognizes - gestures to himself & Roman, are you okay, something that either is we're late or shoo.

The first man is still smiling, though, and whatever he says must be okay, because the newcomer turns to them. They speak with a lilting accent, something not quite Parisian. "Please forgive my barging in- I can't exactly call for Patton from across the walkway. My name is Dante. And you are?"

"I'm Roman, and this is Virgil, and it is wonderful to meet you!"

Virgil signs along with his brother's words, and sees Patton's eyes crinkle happily as he greets them both.

Roman has clearly also noticed Dante's gloves, but turns to Patton. With a slight bit of hesitation, he speaks and signs at once, "May I shake your hand?"

Virgil is sure he's not imagining the minute pursing of Dante's lips, but Patton's nodding and reaching out and so is Roman.

Roman is clearly holding his breath, and Virgil is too, both braced for opposite outcomes. But Patton's small, tan hand is wrapped in Roman's larger one and both sets of eyes are huge.

Virgil's eyes flick to Roman's bicep, exposed as always, the white mark a stark contrast to his dark skin, looking like a sun or maybe a flower and-

"Holy shit-" Virgil breathes.

Roman, however, is not looking at his arm. He's staring directly into Patton's dark eyes with a smile that looks confused and elated all at once, and their hands haven't parted.

Patton's eyes are just a huge, even huger thanks to his glasses.

"It's you," Roman says, wonder in his voice. Patton seems to read his lips, because he smiles somehow even bigger than before and signs It's you! back.

And sure enough, the mark on Roman's arm is a full circle, a full sun or flower, and Virgil's head is reeling.

Virgil's not sure what to say- the two soulmates seem content to keep staring and smiling and holding hands. But Virgil's just... nervous. Soulmate or not, this ‘Patton’ is a stranger, but Roman looks like he might never move from his side. Fuck, they can't even communicate both ways, Roman knows practically no sign and he just used up the only full sentence he’s ever learned.

He looks nervously at Patton's companion. Dante is staring too, seemingly unaware of the ice cream dripping down their glove.

Dante starts to sign something, realizes Patton can't see them, reaches out to tap Patton on the shoulder, then stops before they can touch, hand falling to their side. They look down and finally notice their ice cream, and blanch, pulling out napkins to clean their glove before it stains.

Virgil digs into his knapsack and pulls out a wet wipe and offers it. "This might help more."

Dante looks up, staring at Virgil without a shred of comprehension until Virgil waves the wipe once more. They take it with a quiet, "Merci."

They turn away, wiping off their glove and tossing the rest of their ice cream into the trash. They wiggle their fingers, clearly uncomfortable with the damp fabric.

Virgil shifts awkwardly. He should say something, but what do you even say in this situation? He has no idea what their relation is to Pat- oh fuck, what if they were dating and Roman's just swooped in and ruined it?

In his tried-and-true method of awkward small talk with new roadies in new cities, he says, in French, "So, Paris, yeah? Know any good cafes near here?"

Dante shakes themself a bit and turns to look at Virgil. "Ah, yes. There's a patisserie just on the next block. Shall we relocate them and stop blocking the tourists?"

Virgil nods and looks over at his brother. He weighs his options of interruption, and decides on flicking Roman in the temple.

"Ow! Fuck! Vee!?!"

"You're blocking traffic, dumbass."

"I'm having a moment."

"Well come have a mocha. You can keep having your moment and I can have coffee. C'mon."

He sees Dante signing to Patton too, explaining the plan but much more politely. Roman and Patton continue holding hands, but follow them down the block.

They get Roman and Patton sitting at a table in a picturesque cafe, and walk to the bar to order. Virgil orders his go-to of a double shot and gets Roman his mocha. Dante orders themself a latte and a vanilla cappuccino for Patton. Sitting at the bar waiting, Virgil looks over.

"So. That lunkhead over there is my brother."

Dante nods. "And Patton is my. Well. You might not know what it means, so don't immediately freak out, okay? But it's called a queerplatonic partner."

Virgil can feel the nervousness melt away. "Oh, phew. Yeah, I know what it means. So Roman's not homewrecking by being a discovered soulmate?"

"Well. I certainly hope not. But I know not everyone really, uh. Gets it. Especially with the soulmate sh- stuff. Things."

Virgil grins. "You were about to say soulmate shit, weren't you."

"...No."

"You're a terrible liar."

Dante winks. "I might surprise you."

Virgil raises an eyebrow. "Oh that's how we're gonna play it?"

"I don't play, monsieur. I just win."

"Okay then, here's a test. Why the gloves?"

Dante automatically goes to adjust them, and looks up at Virgil. Their eyes drift down to his hoodie and back up. "I think you know exactly why."

"You don't have-?"

"Nope. I don't have one either."

"I thought I was-"

"The only one?"

"Apparently not."

Virgil looks over at Patton, sitting with Roman. They don't seem to be even attempting to talk still, just staring and holding hands.

"With the QPP- are you aromantic? Do you think that's why?" He gestures vaguely at their whole body, but he’s never been quite as elegant in his gestures as Roman is.

Dante opens their mouth to speak, but stops, and sighs. "That's what I've been saying. It was easier, to say maybe this was for a purpose. And I do love Patton with all my platonic heart and I will kill your brother if he hurts him."

"The feeling’s mutual."

"But, no. I'm not fully aro. I still have romantic attraction and all that, I've just been guaranteed that even if I want it, I'll always be someone's secondary love so. Might as well lean in, right? Make the system work somewhat in my favor?"

Virgil opens his mouth to respond, to object, when the barista calls out their drinks, and then they're carefully carrying full mugs across the cafe and finding a table next to the couple.

Patton appears to be teaching Roman how to sign his name. Roman is even managing to pay attention.

"I get that, uh, reluctance. The playing-it-safe thing," Virgil says quietly, so only Dante can hear. "We travel a lot. That's a good excuse to avoid the whole fucking system. No conversations about who'll leave who when the mark shows up, because I'll be leaving in a month, tops. And people looking for hookups barely poke you to check for the mark before just... getting on with life. No expectations, no holding their breath or unrealistic disappointment."

Dante smiles weakly. "Well, good to know for when I need to start dating. I think I'm about to have a lot more free time."

"Until Roman needs to travel on again. We're here for three full weeks, but-"

"What is it you do, that you both travel so much?"

"You know Sun Prince, the singer?"

"Yeah?"

"You're looking at him," Virgil says wryly, tipping his head in Roman's direction.

Dante's eyes go wide. "Oh, that's why he looks familiar."

"So Patton probably didn’t recognize him either?"

"Nah, he tends to like EDM and electronic things the most, for the bassline. Clubbing with a deaf partner is great - the priority is just feeling the music, and we don't have to yell to hear each other."

Virgil and Dante continue to chat quietly on casual topics, but Virgil's leg is bouncing. He wants to ask the bigger questions, but it feel like prying. It's none of his business, really, right?

But it's Roman's happiness on the line. And Virgil will do anything and everything to protect his brother. Even if it means awkwardness.

"So, uh. Did y'all have the Conversation™️ before now?"

Dante raises a questioning eyebrow in response.

"The 'what happens if he meets his soulmate' conversation. Don't tell me Pat's the only one you've ever dated?"

Dante blinks in a way that implies that were they a lesser being, they might have blushed. "Actually, he is. But yes, we've had that conversation. I'll never get in the way of Pat's romantic love and his soulmate… destiny, ou comme tu veux. I just want to still have a part in his life."

They're tugging at their gloves again, even though their face remains smooth. Virgil recognizes a nervous tic when he sees one. And god does he recognize the sentiment.

Not that any of his past partners had ever wanted to stick around in return. Why would they? He wasn't their soulmate. They hadn't decided to "settle" yet.

"I can't speak for him, but- I think Roman will be open to that," Virgil offers. "He loves performing, so we'll probably still be traveling a fair amount. But I mean. I think he'd understand that you two are a unit the same way me and him are. Like, yeah, we're brothers, but we've been each other's lifeline our whole lives, and that's not about to change. Even if he's finally found his Other Half."

Dante looks up gratefully. "I can tell you love him. And- I hope you're right."

"I should be. If Roman's a dick about it, I'll smack him upside the head."

That surprises a laugh out of Dante. They finally pull off their glove entirely, shaking it out and letting it dry on the table. "I won't interfere with them, you'll encourage Roman to not interfere with us. Do we have a deal, then?"

They offer their bare hand to shake. For once, Virgil doesn't hesitate, but takes it immediately.

Skin hits skin. Virgil finds an agreeable little shudder running down his spine as he appreciates for the first time how attractive this person is. Elegant chestnut curls, heterochromatic eyes that are dancing with delight, and disarming smile.

Dante winks as they withdraw their hand. "What, not going to check for your completed mark now, just in case?"

Virgil grins back. "No, but I can help you look for yours later, if you want."

"Is that a proposition? Monsieur, goodness, you move fast," Dante replies, fluttering their eyelashes.

Virgil shrugs. "It could be one. You know, we're clearly gonna be around each other a lot. They found each other the old fashioned way. Maybe we could try something a bit... less traditional."

Dante smiles. "I'd like that a lot, Virgil. Should we break into cloud nine over there and ask them about the future now?"

Virgil nods. Soulmark or not, the future's looking pretty good.

tag list: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @hawthornshadow @mariniacipher and obligatory royality tag @notveryglittery and anxceit tag @vintage-squid

#soulmate au #subverted trope #happy ending #brotherly prinxiety #qpr moceit #royality #anxceit #ts virgil #ts roman #ts patton #ts deceit #deaf patton #black roman #black virgil #arab patton #white deceit #sanders sides fanfic #Roses Writes Fanfic

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internetremix · 6 years

Note

Did any of you guys go to art college or art school? If so, do you have any advice for that? (Portfolio, applying, all that nonsense.)

Hi anon! Kristen here, this has been sitting in our askbox for a bit and now I finally have time to answer it. Warning this is very long, as are most things I type. I’m also gonna hit up other Artsy IR members to see if they have any thoughts.

I went to art college- Kendall College of Art and Design, starting back in 2008 and graduated in 2012. I went for traditional illustration because I wanted to do children’s books, though I also self-taught myself digital illustration and applied a lot of what I learned to said digital work. I have a Bachelor’s degree, yaaaay.First of all, if you really want to go into art as a career, there are some things you should consider. 10 years out from when I applied to art school, we’re living in a different world. Art school is a lot of money and student loans are a monster I’ll be stuck battling for some time... and now-a-days, that stuff isn’t really necessary. There are a variety of online tutorials and courses you can take for free or for considerably cheaper. There are thousands of art communities, and with hard work and good networking you can make it just as far if not farther than someone with a degree. We’re very much in an age where being a self-made entrepreneur is considerably easier than it ever was before. So you need to throughly consider if the price tag is worth it to you.Art school does do a few things. A good school should have some solid foundational classes that give you the chance to experiment in everything and often force you to do so. If I hadn’t gone to art school, I probably wouldn’t have tried traditional watercolor work at all, and that’s what got me my first serious illustration job. Also a good school should give you access to professors who have been in your industry who can give you solid advice and also, gasp, connections.

Connections are a pretty vital thing, especially depending on what you want to go into. I’m not an expect on animation, but from what I know a lot of people who are currently working in the field got their start at California Institute of the Arts. Depending on where you are in the world, if you’re in a hotspot for whatever industry you want to go into, a big name school can be a major help for you. If you don’t really live in a place where that’s an option, i.e. you’re me and you live in the void Michigan, you’re not paying for as many networking opportunities, so you may want to seriously consider if art school is worth it.

Art school also gives you the benefit to really focus on art hard if you play your cards right. I was able to go it full time due to grants and scholarships, which was intense but definitely pushed me through some major improvements. However, I knew other students who worked full time on top of being in school full time, and they didn’t get as much out of it. The big thing about art school, as is the case with any school, is you really only get what you put into it. Your professor can show you all the techniques in the world, but until you know what that technique feels like in your own hands, it’s useless.If you decide to go for a school, be sure to look into things like post-graduation hiring rates. Also ask current students there how they feel about the school- depending on the department at Kendall, people had very different things to say and they weren’t always positive. Thoroughly consider where you want to specialize, different schools will have different specialities even if they supposedly offer a bit of everything.

If you’re unsure on your speciality, that’s okay! Definitely still take foundational classes either online or perhaps at a community college. The more you experiment, the closer you will get to finding what you want, and that will make art school a lot more useful to you when you decide to enroll.

If you ever take any art class, ever, and it’s something you want to do for a career, take that shit seriously. I know I said up there “you get what you put into it” but I gotta say it again. My first year of art school I was going through a lot (not entirely my fault) but I also took several classes not terribly seriously because I was like “whatever man I don’t want to do this, this isn’t my major.” In retrospect I thoroughly regret not paying more attention in those classes, because those foundations would have helped a lot with struggles I had later on. If you want to do art as a career, you gotta REALLY want it and you gotta really focus.

I can’t really tell you if art school is right for you or not. I personally don’t regret my time there or my slightly scary debt, but I also benefitted from some grants to make my loans at least manageable and a number of other factors have gotten me to the point where I’m a full time freelance illustrator.If you decide to go for art school, check the portfolio requirements for every place you apply to. Different places will have different requirements. For me, I was required to have over half my work showing off my various foundational skills- still lifes are good, life drawing is good, oooh look ma I can use pastels AND I’ve got a tablet and can do digital stuff wowowowowow. I was told to try to keep anything cartoony/stylized down to a few pieces- unless you’ve received A TON of positive feedback about your personal style I wouldn’t use it too much because you’re probably still developing and that style’s gonna change A TON as you go through school.

Keep an eye on the acceptance rate at the school. If it’s EXTREMELY HIGH, that may show a lack of standards. This is actually bad because this means the school is basically letting people show up, taking their money, and then going “welp here’s your degree, good luck somehow getting a job in an EXTREMELY competitive field.”

Another thing you may want to ask is hey, how well does this school prepare you for marketing yourself once you get out of school. Most people I know who graduated from Kendall don’t have art jobs, and the primary reason for this is our teaching for self-marketing was really not great.

Whether you decide to go to art school or not, here’s some stuff you should really be working on if you want to go into art or get better at it:

FIGURE DRAWING plz. Please do figure drawing. Honestly, the more realistic you do with this, the better. “But Kristen I wanna do cartoons!” I get it, I do too. However, learning realistic anatomy actually benefits cartoony stuff a lot. Once you get a feel for how something actually works and is proportioned, it’s easier to exaggerate and adjust proportions without making it look weird. Draw a figure standing enough times and you’ll get a feel for how weight is positioned, and that means when you make those legs noodles they won’t look awkward. This website is a great tool for online figure drawing work for you to practice on your own, I highly recommend it! Or sit down and do it with a friend, it’s fun!“But Kristen, figure drawing is booooori-” Then once you’re done drawing the figure, make it a character. I actually have a lot of figure drawing and gestures that I turned into IR characters because I’m very cool.PRACTICE DIFFERENT BODY SHAPES BOYOPERSPECTIVE This one I am a lot worse at. But this has some good points on perspective. What I like to do is find a photo of a room or something and try to draw it to the best of my ability, then add my OCs to it. I LOATHE the perspective part but it’s good practice and usually at the end you have a nice day-in-the-life kinda feel to things, it’s like “wow my characters exist in a world instead of white space amazing.”Do some COLOR SWATCH CHALLENGES!

Also just... try everything. Even stuff you hate the first time. I hated watercolor when I first did it, but as I said before, that’s what I got my first job doing.

Above all else, make sure you draw every day. If you want to do art as a career or just want to get better at the hobby- the difference between someone who makes this thing a career and someone who doesn’t is the person who cares about it so much that they make time for art even when life is chaos around them.

I have other thoughts but this is long enough as is. Uh, thanks for coming to my TED Talk and I hope you find this useful, haha.-Kristen

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nerdy-pixel-girl · 6 years

Text

Rant

*PLEASE READ IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO MY WATCHERS AND FRIENDS*

I have my reasons for posting here instead.

Guys..I am really, really sorry..

I absolutely hate the new "DA" and I will explain why.

But first, I really missed you guys. ;_;

I'm not sure if anyone noticed, I was falsely suspended for 2 weeks, no it is not at all drama related, no one reported me.

( I can prove it if need be, but not on DA )

You guys know how I'm always browsing around DA groups and such and I always come across Pedophilia, Porn and other content that I will report, either to be removed, or if it's unfiltered to get it tagged.

( The mods ask that in their rules, that we report ALL content like that, they will not remove it without reports )

I give the mods explanations and or proof of my claims so that they can understand it better if needed, I'm fairly polite to them.

Thankfully I got several accounts suspended or in trouble, that were posting illegal and disgusting content, and I never had a single issue in my near decade on DA like this, I have never been suspended nor banned.

So, as some of you guys know, my report tool randomly disappeared a while ago, for no reason with no explanation, only an automated ( lazy ) message about how it was suspended.

I emailed them, got no reply for a while, then I got sick of waiting..

I did use an alt to report some pedophilia and the like several days later on, I tried to avoid such content but I ended up seeing some anyways.

Yes, it may seem stupid to risk my account to report something, but I'm still glad I did it as long as it was removed, as seeing 10-14 year old characters having orgies and being raped, molested, and the like did not sit well with me at all, so I reported the many pieces, and went to bed.

I was out all day the next day, and I was feeling okay, several hrs later I got online, turned on YT and listened to some music, a few mins later I turned on DA and got physically sick..I was confused, hurt and very upset.

So I checked my email, I had a message regarding reporting, they literally treated me as a liar and a spammer, I NEVER lied in my reports about art, they never even told me 'how I lied' nor gave any examples..all of this is regarding art reporting, I am no spammer either, I don't report every single day and the staff is not obligated to remove every single thing at once, every person who talked to me about this has called them 'lazy' and I agree completely.

Most people don't even report, and I'm doing good for the community so you should be thankful like wth??

I have been reporting things for yrs, never had a single issue, so it's either a new rule or they're just full of it. :/ I did make a few minor mistakes in some of my reports which can be SEEN as lies but they weren't, like accidentally typing the wrong info on the wrong report from being so flustered and having several tabs open at once.

( I told them that after the fact, they ignored me )

BTW they never even asked if the alt was mine, just bc it was the same IP they banned it with NO confirmation or anything, my siblings, two of them have DA accounts though one left DA, and the other hardly uses it, and they never gave me any kind of warning and I have seen people do major things on this site and either nothing ever happened, OR they got WARNINGS.

( I don't even have my name on the alt, which shows you how dense they are to assume. )

I report art, pedophilia and porn that isn't allowed on DA, and magically I'M the bad guy???

( Both accounts were suspended for two weeks, I think my report tool was suspended for two weeks, then changed to a month..which is bs )

Oh, but it's TOTALLY okay for me to be stalked, harassed, have people block evade to harass me further, to be death/rape/hack threatened, sexually harassed, and more, and even have people send me virus links which counts as a major crime on DA but NOTHING happened EVER even with hundreds of pieces of proof, if not more!

O_o They're ass backwards and have no idea what they're doing, removing a report tool in it's self is beyond stupid, what if you see REAL pedophilia and no one else would/could report it?? like what is the point of removing the tool, so you don't have to do your job??

( A report tool does GOOD for the community, not bad! people falsely report art, but if they do just ignore them OR give them a warning, if they don't listen suspend THEM, not innocent people!! )

If they 'have a limit' which I do not believe as I've never seen it and there is no limit where it literally stops you from reporting, ENFORCE one instead of being dicks to people, oh yes others have been suspended because of this stupid shit, I don't know names I just talked to people..PS, there is a limit on how many helpdesk reports you can make a day, AKA reporting PEOPLE, but there is no such thing for the art.

I honestly feel they're 'too bothered' to just do their job, I can talk about it freely especially considering it's offsite so they can't do anything to me. :'D

I just feel completely awful that I had to be away from you guys for so long, I couldn't sleep at first, then it got easier..but I felt so dang awful bc I owed art, was chatting with you guys, and the like..only to have some jerks try to ruin things for me over opinions, not facts.

The only thing I 'did wrong' was use an alt, BUT I never did anything wrong in the first place to 'be wrong'?? they even sent me the same message THREE times for two different problems, and each time it was an automated one.... ._. THAT should prove right there how lazy they are.

( Twice on DA, once in an email )

Ever since they've been bought out this shit has happened, the majority of the staff is garbage, the only helpful ones I can think of do like COPPA reports, chat about art, do contests and other fun things for DA.

I hope this never happens again, if you have any questions or would like to add me else where note me!

I don't ever want to lose you guys..OTL the thought of it majorly depressed me..

At least I got a ton of new art done in the mean time..;_; but still..

Sorry this is so long, and sorry if I worried anyone, I'm okay..I'll post more normal updates later on DA, I love you guys so much. ;///;

Try to be careful with DA, they're banning innocent people for no reason and leaving the evil people around..

Please let me know any good news in your lives I'd love to hear it!!

( Comment on my Status not Tumblr please, this is just for you guys on DA )

God bless, I hope you'll all be okay.

#personal rant

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queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years

Text

Sketchbook

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean, mentions of other characters

Word Count: 2,259

Warnings: None, this is all fluff honestly.

Summary: You’re an artist that lives with the boys and Sam accidentally stumbles upon your sketchbook that is filled with portraits of Sam and only Sam and he confronts you.

Author’s Note: I do not own the credits to any of these drawings. I just found them off of Google Images. If you know the artist or is the artists of these pictures, let me know because I would love to credit you. This idea was given to me from the lovely @helllonearth. Thank you so much for bringing ideas for baby moose Sammy. If you want to be tagged, leave an ask or message and I’ll add you! Same goes for my Series Rewrite!

If you want to request a fic, please send them in! I love writing what you guys want!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

When Sam and Dean found you, you weren’t in danger. You weren’t a hunter. You weren’t associated with hunters. You just knew a shit ton about lore. You were a librarian in a small and quiet library that Sam just happened to stumble upon.

Studying lore was your major in college because that kind of things fascinated you. Plus, when you were younger, you may or may not have come across a shifter. That part, would always be a bit hazy to you. You were a kid when that happened and you believe that is when your interest started.

So, you studied every bit of lore you could get your hands on and then you opened your own library and had the best lore section in the town. Granted, no one used it but when Sam came in, he went straight there.

You were intrigued by the tall man and started a conversation with him. He seemed very nice and he loved talking about this sort of thing. It took you a while and Sam enough times coming in for him to open up to you.

You learned about what he and his brother did for a living. You weren’t surprised at all because on some level, you knew these things existed. You knew he was telling the truth and he was surprised you didn’t kick him out.

It even took a longer time to meet his brother, Dean. From what you gathered from Sam, Dean hated anything to do with books. He hated telling other people what he did and even yelled at Sam for it but once he met you, you got him wrapped around your finger.

You were shy and isolated from most people but you knew how to get what you wanted. After meeting Dean, Sam kept coming back into your library more and more often to where it got to a point, you knew almost everything about him. From an outsider’s perspective, they might say you and Sam were flirting but that wasn’t possible.

It wasn’t that you thought you were ugly or anything like that, it was because Sam was so gorgeous and so amazing, you didn’t think he could find anything about you that was above average. All your life, you always fell for the douchebags, letting them walk all over you and then you met Sam and thought he was one of a kind.

You couldn’t find one thing about him that might put you off and that is what scared you. Maybe that is why you were always so shy and distant. You didn’t want to put yourself through heartbreak. So, reading books and drawing were your hobbies that kept you busy all the time.

You loved reading and you loved drawing. You often found yourself drawing the creatures from the lore book, memorizing what they looked like just in case you happened to come across one of them now that you were 100% sure they were real.

As much as you loved your library, with your knowledge, Sam asked you to move in with him and Dean in their bunker. Now, by this time, you’ve known Sam for a year and a half and you considered him a good friend, Dean right behind him.

So, you sold your library, taking every lore book you had, along with a few others, and moved right into their bunker. Most people wouldn’t move in with someone after a year and a half but this felt normal to you. Sam and Dean made you feel welcomed and you met awesome people because of them.

You met a fucking Angel for crying out loud. He was one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known. You met Jody, a mother figure to Sam and Dean and she was no less than perfect. She welcomed you in and treated you like one of her daughters.

Even though Crowley wasn’t their good friend, he still meant something to the Winchesters. Yes, he was a demon and you had taken a while to get over that but once you did, you understood why Sam and Dean hated him some days and liked him the other days.

You met a lot of other people and they’ve been awesome towards you. You couldn’t have asked for a better situation. However, the more you lived with the men, the more you fell in love with Sam. Every day, he got more and more precious, more and more kind and more and more brave.

You didn’t go on hunts; hell, you hated any kind of firearm possible. But when Sam got back from any kind of hunt, you were always right there, caring for him and his brother. You basically became their live-in nurse if you want to look at it that way.

They treated you with respect and never disappointed. So, could you blame yourself when you found yourself staring at Sam, embedding every detail of his face into your memory so you could draw him later? There were times where you, Sam and Dean were in the library and you would be drawing him instead.

You didn’t think Dean knew of your little crush but he was a smart man so you didn’t think he would stay oblivious for long. Sam was so intelligent, you were surprised he didn’t know about your feelings. Just like now, you were in the library, your sketchbook out, and pencil in hand.

Both men were reading, heavily engrossed into their own books so you weren’t worried about being caught. You were looking between your book and Sam, drawing what you saw. You were a very skilled drawer but you never did anything with it.

You sketched every outline, every strand of hair, every freckle that you saw, all down to the exact spot you saw it. He was a work of art and you were lucky to have him as your muse. There was no way in hell he would ever see this book. There was no way in hell you would ever tell any Winchester of your talent.

If Dean knew, he would ask to see your book and tease you to the end of the Earth about your little crush. If Sam saw it, your world would be over. You loved living with the Winchesters. He would kick you out for sure for being such a creep.

You had a very special hiding place for this book. A place where no Winchester would ever go: The laundry basket. You did all the laundry so you weren’t too worried about them ever finding your book. With that being said, you got up from the table and was about to leave the library when Sam stopped you.

“Where are you going?” You looked at him and smiled softly.

“I think I’m going to go to bed. All this reading has me crossing my eyes way too much.” Sam nodded and he smiled right back at you. God, that beautiful smile.

“Alright, we’ll see you in the morning.” You nodded and walked out of the library, to the laundry room where you saw a full basket of laundry, waiting to be put away.

I’ll do it in the morning. You placed your book under a few articles of clothing and left the laundry room, going straight to your room.

“Hey, Dean, I think I’m going to turn in as well. Don’t stay up too late, we have a hunt tomorrow.” Sam said, closing his book and standing up.

“Yeah, I know we do.” Dean replied. With that, Sam left the library and on the way to his room, he passed by the laundry room. The light was on and the door was open a bit. You must have forgotten to shut the light off when you left. Sam was about to shut it off when he saw the basket full of clean clothes, just waiting to be put away.

You already to do much for the Winchesters, that Sam thought it would be nice to put away his own clothes and leave his brother’s clothes on his bed for him to worry about later. He grabbed the basket and walked to his room, setting it on the bed.

He started to put away his clothes when he saw the book you tried hiding. You must have put it under Sam’s clothes rather than your own by mistake. He grabbed it, opening it up. He knew he shouldn’t have done that but he was curious. He didn’t know that you loved to draw.

The first sketch he opened to was of him. You had drawn Sam when he was in thought, a serious face looking down, his hair framing his face well. He couldn’t believe how good you were at this. He turned the page, expecting to see his brother but frowned when he saw himself again.

This one was in color, you loved to give him a splash of color when you felt like it. Most of the time, you just used pencil since it was easier to work with. But this one, was of him when he was younger. You must have found picture of him from the past.

He flipped to the next page and here he was, yet again, taking up the whole page this time. This one was of him looking up and he remembered this day because you were teaching him about some kind of lore but he couldn’t stop staring at you. What you didn’t know was that Sam liked you a lot but he was afraid of corrupting your world and getting you killed.

The whole sketchbook was filled with him. Some were laughing, some were of him when he was hurt, some of them was when he was sleeping, or talking, or eating. They were all beautiful and they were all of him. No Castiel, no Dean, no Jody, just him.

He felt kind of special in a way. He knew this was a sign that you liked him. Otherwise, you would have other people in here. Abandoning the laundry basket, he walked straight to your room and hoped you weren’t asleep.

You weren’t asleep. You were reading a book when you heard a light knock come from your door.

“Come in.” you said, shutting your book and watched as the door open and Sam’s head pop in.

“Is this a bad time?” He asked with a small smile.

“No, what’s up?” You smiled. He walked into the room and you looked at what he was holding. You lost your smile instantly and you sat up straighter, gulping.

“Sam, where did you get that?” You asked in a low voice.

“I thought it would be nice to do the laundry since you do so much around here when I found this in my pile.” Sam said.

“Please tell me that you didn’t look through it.” You were so scared of what he would think if he did.

“I didn’t know you could draw. You’re really talented.” Sam smiled, shutting the door and sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Sam, I can explain…” You said, your words getting caught in your throat. You didn’t know what to say to him. You thought he would kick you out, tell you to leave by morning.

“There is no Dean or Cas or anyone else in here.” Sam said, looking at the book.

“No.” You whispered.

“Just me.”

“Just you.”

“Why?” He looked at you, his eyes containing an emotion that you just couldn’t place.

“I like to keep the people I draw separate from one another. I have a book full of Dean and Cas. You just found your book.” You lied. You were a terrible liar and Sam always saw through it.

“Liar.” He said, placing the book on the bed and sliding closer to you.

“Sam, if you want me gone, I’ll leave by the morning.” You said, looking away from his gaze.

“Why would I want you gone?” He asked, cupping your cheek with his large hand. He made you look at him and you didn’t remember him being this close to you.

“Because you must think I’m a creep.” You looked back and forth between his beautiful hazel eyes.

“Oh so you know what I’m thinking now?” Sam smiled, leaning closer to you. “Do you know what I’m going to do?”

“I have a clue.” You whispered, letting him close the distance between you two and press his lips to yours. It was there, in that moment, that you knew Sam Winchester was the one for you. You knew that he was the one you would spend your life with.

Lips tangled, and tongues touching, you kissed with him everything you got. You slid your right hand over the expanse of his chest, sliding them more north until you reached his hair. Man, you wished to touch his hair, pull on his hair, just to know what it felt like.

Now here you were, kissing the man you loved with everything you got. When the need for oxygen arisen, you pulled away and stared into his happy eyes.

“You are very talented.” He whispered, smiling at you.

“Thank you.” You smiled right back.

“Would you like to draw more of me?”

“If you’ll let me.” You smiled, kissing him one more time.

Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee? // Series Rewrite Masterlist

Forever tags:

@deans-short-girl @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja

Sam tags:

@kdfrqqg

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

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punkwithpaints · 7 years

Text

A weeb story, one of many.

Key:

T and M= Weebs

Okay, so, I don’t even know where to start, considering this went on for years, and even recently, so, I don’t even know if I’m out of the woods?

So, I’m an art major, and I’ve been really devoted to art since like, 7th-8th grade. I got serious about art around my sophomore year in high school though. Now, the high school I went to had an art show every year, at the end. Basically, all art made would be hung up based on categories, and judged by a guest judges. Each level art class did different things, so none of the categories normally lapped over. Everyone had an equal chanced. The categories would have a 1st-3rd place, and sometimes a 4th depending on the size.

Anyway, I had this person (T) who I actually considered a friend my freshman year. We’d known each other since around 7th-8th grade, so, obviously it continued into high school. Now, I’ll 100% admit, I had a weeb phase during the period of 7th-Freshman year. Now, I wasn’t running around like NYA NYA PASTAAAAAAAAA (like this person did, no joke.) So, with those years of drawing, I had taken time to look over tutorials, check out other peoples art work, ask for help and criticism, took suggestions, read books, everything I could to learn how to improve, even if it was (shitty) anime. I tried super hard to improve. T didn’t. At all. In fact, they would get upset at any form of criticism and ignore it completely.

I’d like to say, I learn very quickly if shown how to do something. Due to this, my art teacher noticed me and would talk to me a lot, and would take me over to the other art teacher to let me talk to her and show her my stuff. (not the anime, the actual assignments, like still life drawings). This other teacher taught art 2-4, also any independent studies, so I was kinda nervous to be around them at first. However, I warmed up and would typically get both of their opinions on things and ask them questions. T had started to get jealous at how quickly I was learning and improving, seeing that I was starting to go outside the anime range and want to do new things. I use references VERY heavily. I really want to make sure I have the details right. She notices this one day and goes:

T: What is that?

Me: My references….

Her:..Well, real artists don’t use references. You shouldn’t be doing that!

Um, what? What are we looking at when we draw our still life drawings???? (We typically would look at a black and white print off photo, actual sight drawing started in art 2) That made me worry that I was cheating as an artist. I wasn’t sure if she was right or not, and was very shy and quiet at this time. I asked the teachers later that day, which they assured me artists did in fact, use references and that it was very good that I invested so much in multiple references and sources. So, I continued doing that despite her telling me it was wrong.

Fast forward to the end of the year, after the art show had been judged. T runs up to me and asks:

T: How many ribbons did you win?

Me: Oh, uh, 9. (I didn’t really wanna talk about it too much, given that she was jealous all the time)

T:…..You don’t deserve that many, it’s only because you had a category to yourself!!

This isn’t against the rules. Any art can be submitted, and if it doesn’t fit in a predetermined category, they make one. Even none art students can enter. I had, not hate me, a category called, “Realistic anime”. I still have the drawings and want to burn them so badly. Literally, what the hell me? But honestly, to tell someone they don’t deserve to win something solely because you’re jealous is insane. I had even double checked with my teachers to see if they were okay with it, and if it was something show worthy. I didn’t know, at the time, they made new categories. I just thought they would put it under pencil drawings, since it was pencil.

Anyway, I get over it, and next year rolls around. Now I’m in the other art teachers class (gonna call her mama, cause that’s basically what she was to me) taking 2 art classes, Art 2 and 3. I took them because my previous art teacher had said she believed I could do it. So I did. Now, all that summer between freshman and sophomore year, I continued to draw and draw and draw. I stepped away from anime completely and had started to get on the road of semi-realistic and began to develop an illustrative style. T was only taking art 2, along with another weeb, M. During this year, everyone in my classes worked kinda slow, so while it took them 2 weeks to complete a project, I could make 2-3, or work on one of my own drawings. Basically, I had a metric shit ton of art by the end of the year that I had completed. Also, in the art show, it doesn’t have to be art made while in school. I had mentioned to mama that I made a bunch of art that summer, and she encouraged me to put it in. So I did. I had probably 60+ things in the show. IN NO MEANS, WAS I SHOWING OFF, I WAS TAKING 2 CLASSES AND WORKED FAST. And besides, if a teacher asks you to enter your stuff, are you gonna turn that down? It normally takes us a week or 2 to get everything together with matting the art work and tagging it and all that good stuff. I was also in drama, and was next in line to be the paint mistress. So, I ‘m hanging out in the paint bin with the current paint mistress when a friend comes to me and asks, “Do you know what T and M are saying about you?” No?

Apparently, they had been messaging each other and talking about how I was showing off, hogging the spot light, arrogant, that I wanted the show to be all about me, all sorts of stuff. Now, still, I was still shy and always felt bad if someone was upset at me. The next day in art, when I was helping with the art show displays, I was talking to my teachers and casually told them I might take some stuff out. They asked why and I explained. They were upset someone had suggested that and told me not to, that it was perfectly fine considering I had 2 classes and worked fast. My first teacher (most chill one ever) was like, “Add more, screw them.” So, with her encouragement I added a few more pieces. I ended up winning like, 40+ ribbons, the Art 2 award (I was told they wanted to give me the art 3 award too, but students were only allowed 1 award per area.) I won best in show (or 1st, I can’t remember, it all mixes up after a while.) Well, T is still acting like my friend, but is obviously trying to put me down for winning. M never liked me in the first place so she just kept complaining to T.

3rd year rolls around, and I had been told by my drama teacher that not only would I be Paint Mistress, but Makeup because of my special effects I could do. T runs up to me on the first day and asks me what position I’m taking in drama. I tell her and she goes off, telling me that I was wrong and that he told her she was getting it. No???? I have the messages to prove it??? So, drama rolls around, he goes over who’s taking what positions and such, and T and takes the moment to tell him that “They don’t need 2 positions! that’s too much work for one person.” Even though paint was pre-show and make up was during???? Her and another girl basically harassed me out of the position and made me give it to them. Now, this year, I’m just taking art 4, which was full of seniors that I really enjoyed talking to. (Remember, I’m a junior) during this year, I had made a pen and ink drawing of Sam and Dean from Supernatural. My teachers LOVED it and would bicker over who got it. T took this moment to try and do the same thing, drawing Dean with a ink pen. Long story short, no one noticed. She was pissed. Art show starts to roll around, and I’m minding my own business when T comes up to me (Her and M had been complaining, because, again, I had a lot of stuff.) and says:

T: How many things do you have in the show?

Me: Uh, I’m not sure…..

T: Well, you should probably take stuff out. Seriously, like, you always have so much stuff in the show, give other artists a chance….

I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I just answered with a small and confused, “Um…no?” she continued to tell me I needed to stop adding stuff where they had to make categories (other people did this, and nothing was stopping them?). She still hadn’t moved from her anime stage, hadn’t improved at all, still didn’t even grasp basic shading, like???? It’s not my fault you can’t win, honestly. It’s your own.

Another thing about this year, it was around the time I had started to collect my markers and use them in my work. When T and M found out, they tried so hard to make me feel bad for having them. “Wow, must be nice being rich.” I’m not rich, I saved up money from commissions and other things to get them. But to have them always say, very loudly, that I was rich and fancy because I had some copic markers was very embarrassing and made me uncomfortable. Basically, they were hoping to make me stop using them. Funny enough, while M was saying stuff like this, they were holding like, an Ipad, headphones, bunch of anime merch, same with T. Excuse me, but if you didn’t buy 40 plushies and key chains, you could get these too??

So, I again talked to my teachers, (We’re really close at this point) and explain to them I feel guilty and worry that what they’re saying is true. They again, gave me a great pep talk telling me it was because they were jealous and that I was doing just fine. They pointed out that everyone else in the classes loved seeing my art and encouraged me as well. (I actually kinda had a fan base) With that, I found my backbone suddenly and realized, Yo, this is dumb as shit. You think I’m being an asshole? I’m gonna show you being an asshole. I entered all the things I had picked out, and noticed that we now had a digital category full of T and M’s edgy monstrosities. I waited until the day of the art show (it’s after school) to bring in my final few pieces.

5 digital drawings.

T and M weren’t in the room and I got the go ahead to mat them, tag them, and hang them up. Later that day, T and M came in and I’m telling you, their faces dropped, and they had realized they fucked up.

Lmao guess who took 1st, 2nd, and 3rd in that category? Me. I would like to make a disclaimer that I will ALWAYS try and support an artist, regardless of skill level, but if you’re an asshole, nope. You gonna be an asshole, I’m gonna be a bigger one. Watch me. (Also my friends/fan base was pumping me up cause I told them what was going on, and had actually talked to a lot of them to ask if I had too much in the show, since a lot of them was in art too)

I won so much, that for the last week or so of school, I wore all my ribbons over the last 3 years on a wire, and attached them to my satchel, just to remind them I was done with their weeb shit and negative attitude. (I’d like to quickly mention that the art teachers have NO SAY in judging. The art Teachers don’t judge the show at all) It was even better, since we had a lot of classes together, because a lot of people, including teachers would ask me if all of the ribbons were mind and I got to talk to the class about it, and mention the fact I had won Best in show and First in show that year too, and Best last year. They were triggered. Majorly. Was I an asshole? Yes, Yes I was. Do I regret it? Nah, they had it coming.

BUT WE’RE ONLY ON THE 3RD YEAR!

Senior year rolls up, I honestly have no fucks to give and I’m a passive aggressive angry bean. I was just so fed up with T and M trying to walk over me and trying to make me feel bad. Now, at this point T is still acting like their my friend, although I know they talk shit behind my back constantly. I tried to just avoid her. We had a class in the library called RTI, basically a free period to be honest. I’d draw of course (I was taking two independent studies in art, meaning I could work on whatever I wanted. I took that year to help render my style and such) and she would constantly be breathing over my shoulder. (Still drawing cringe anime that was horribly incorrect. I never had said anything to her about her art, because frankly, I didn’t care.) She would constantly think it was SO FUNNY to try and hit my arm while I was trying to ink a drawing. She would even laugh when she did it, like it was some funny joke, and not like I’ve taken 3 hours to sketch something out only to have her try and fuck it up on purpose. She’d also always find the need to shove her input in while I was working.

“Their head is too big.”

“Omg they look so funny!!!”

“That body is messed up!!!! Hahaha!!!”

“Can’t you draw that right??”

Bitch you can’t even shade as a senior. Sit down. I know I said I’m always open for critism, but you probably understand why I didn’t take theirs. Also, you’re suppose to point out what you think is good, then explain what you think is off. It’s a magical thing called CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. I never really replied, just kept working. One day, I’m talking to my friend who is watching me work on a sketch of a merman. I’m fine with this friend watching me draw because they would offer to take photos of me working so I could post them on my art page, or help hand me my tools.

Well, T suddenly leans over, breathing over my shoulder before pointing to the mermans hand that I’m CLEARLY erasing to fix and goes, “That hands messed up!!! hahaha!” Literally ridiculing me, mid fix, like it’s the funniest thing.

It’s Monday, I had had no coffee, I’ve dealt with this for years. Nope. I’m done.I’m not dealing with this. Now, t had some crooked teeth. Disclaimer: I don’t care what you look like, I find things like that (’imperfections’) likable, and like to try and including little things like that in my drawings. However, if you act like an asshole, nothing is off limits, and I will destroy you.)

She goes, “That hands messed up! Hahaha!!!!”

I don’t even pause drawing and just reply as calmly as possible, “Yeah? Well so are your teeth, but no one mentions it because you didn’t ask.” she shut up real damn quick after that. I never had any more problems from her after that involving my art and the art show. Was it rude? Yes. Again, do I regret it? No. You give me unwanted comments, I give them to you. My savagery has only grown since entering college.

Now, A lot of shit had hit the fan between me and T during the summer because I helped her boyfriend at the time leave her. She was being mentally and emotionally abusive/manipulative. I.e: I’ll kill myself if you leave!!

She messaged me telling me I was a horrible person and I had so much coming my way and blah blah blah. But I was at work, making $1000 a month (which was great for gather college supplies) So, again, I didn’t care. I just didn’t message her back.

Well, I may be an asshole, but I’m sophisticated, I can be civil alright? I don’t just get on Facebook like: *Tags in post* FUCK THIS PERSON Y U A BITCH??

No,I take these experiences and use them as a way to give art lessons on my page. (I had a lot of the lower grades, including freshman, come to me for help and enjoy my art. So, I post little art lessons for them to read over. Usually about how to improve their art) Recently, one of my post was more of a motivational kinda thing. I explained that as they grow, they may run into jealous artists. I encouraged them to keep going and gave them 2 lists. One that had a list of things that they need to look out for that may indicate a jealous artist. (I’ve run into more since this story, and deal with it a lot honestly) The other list was things that’s been said to me, and served as an example of some of the things they may have to deal with. NO NAMES WERE MENTIONED AT ALL, VERY VAGUE. T had told one of my friends that she had my page ‘unfollowed’, but not unfriended. So, she didn’t see my stuff. However, today, she posted a long status about how ‘you need to stop acting like you’re in high school. Don’t be mad I’m happy!!” Basically all that jazz, not tagging me of course. Unfriended me, all that. Funny thing was I literally haven’t looked at her page in years…so….I’ll post my status and her status below.

That basically concludes my first story, but there will be more.

#personal #weeb cringe #weeaboo #art #art student #art class #art classes #story #stories #weeb story #weeb stories #weeaboo stories #weeaboo story

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zacfaq · 7 years

Text

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME “PASS IT ON” MESSAGES !! as sweet as some of they are they can be really annoying. i don’t check my PMs here! if you need to get ahold of me either send me an ask, or email me.

apparently necessary reminder: google exists! i’m not a know-it-all source, honestly i shouldn’t even be your second plan after google unless it’s a question specifically based on me or something relating to me

i try to avoid fandom drama as much as possible and keep a generally positive space, so please don’t come and ask me about stuff like that. thanks.

if you want to commission me please send an email to [email protected]. do not email me through this address if your intentions are purely social and not work related

-what do you use to record and edit your speedpaints?

i use OBS to record, and edit in sony vegas

-what do you use to draw?

huion gt-191 and clip studio paint

-what are your pen settings?

just the default settings. all my custom stuff/things i’ve downloaded from CSP assets are just things i think look neat but probably never end up using.

-a blog called papersans is claiming to be you! are they a thief?

that’s literally me, i use it to archive my art so i can find stuff easier without having to hunt through my tag. also available for people who just want to see my art n not my other posts

-when is your birthday?

february 6th!

-what is your sexuality?

gay. i like men.

-how long does it take you to draw?

idk like. awhile? sometimes 45 minutes sometimes four hours sometimes a week.

-can i draw you/your ocs?

of course! pls show me after it would make me very happy !!!!!

-favourite band/singer/musician?

i don’t know a damn thing about myself here’s a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0Zk5o5g7nMnGt0vrJVEcDq?si=7cd248a0b64046ee

-will you do art for cheap/free?

nah. art is currently the only job/income i have, if ur interested in commissioning me you can either find my prices on like, any of my pages, but if not ur more than welcome to email me @ [email protected] and i can give you prices there !! -(venting or something involving abuse, suicidal thoughts, self harm, bullying, eating disorders, or other similar things in real life situations. even in fiction i’m iffy.)

i hate to sound rude or not be of help, but please don’t send these messages to me. they send me into horrible anxiety for several personal reasons. if you’re having such negative thoughts i implore you to speak to someone you trust without an anonymous mask, or do your best to seek help from a professional. i have my own things to worry about and as much as i’d like to help, i simply can’t.

-(asking for advice that isn’t related to art)

i would love to help but i’m not an ~all knowing source~. i can’t give you tips for school. i can’t give you tips for life. not only will i probably not know a solution for you but there’s likely a chance i’m in just as bad a situation as you/going through the same problem, as silent as i am about my personal life. also don’t use ‘asking for advice’ as an excuse to vent about things or to send me a paragraph describing in depth something listed above/that’s potentially triggering. thank you.

even if you’re looking fr art tips i’m not a great source i’m still learning, ur best bet is looking for already existing sources and reading through those bc i don’t preach the word of Art God. i’m also awful at explaining things

-why didn’t you answer my ask?

Main reason is i’m just really really bad at socializing, so it’s not anything on u. i’m almost always low on energy and when i do talk to people it wears me out really quick. i’m also just. not gr8 at talking in general so if i can’t think of a reply i tend to just leave things n then end up forgetting about them

-how do you draw [blank]?

honestly my art style is such a fucked up thing that’s so personalized to my own use i can’t do or make tutorials. the best i can do is direct you to my youtube.

-can we do an art trade?

sorry, i’ll have to say no. i’m not necessarily busy but i get stressed very easily, so i try to keep my art to either personal stuff or work ! if you would like art from me, please considering commissioning me! mutuals and friends may be the exceptions here if they catch me at a good time or we make plans well ahead to do smth when we’re both free to work on stuff

-can we be friends?

please don’t ask this. i’m awful enough at socialization as is and i just don’t fit well with most personality types. not to mention this is just overall a bad question. it backs the person being asked into a corner where they either have to say “yes” and end up in a friendship that actually isn’t working out and is maybe only good for one side bc they’re getting any and all of the benefits, and if they say “no” they look like a total dick bag and come across as an ass. don’t ask this question. it’s not how socializing works. it’s not how friendships work. thanks. -can you tag [blank]? unfortunately i’ve been a real bad place in terms of memory so i can’t tag tons and tons of things. i try and tag more general/basic things but i’m sorry i’ll have to pass on specifics. if i post or reblog things that trigger u or harm you it might be best to unfollow for ur own safety!! very sorry

if it’s specific words you’d like tagged please consider blacklisting the word itself.

-how tall are you?

i’m 5'11".

-can you promo me?

i’d rather not, doesn’t sit well with me. if you have a commission post you want me to reblog i’m happy to! but i won’t just do text based handouts, y’know? not a fan of being used for visibility for no reason, and chances are if i do it for one person it’ll happen with hundreds of others and i don’t want my blog to turn into a free advertisement zone that just floods peoples’ feeds with promotions.

-you reblogged something from someone extremely problematic/unsafe

thank you for letting me know! tell me what it is they did, even better offer proof on it. i’ll likely delete the post and blacklist their url to hopefully prevent their name popping up on my blog in the future. i won’t publish these asks mostly to avoid discourse or in the event false information is provided. sorta just safety precaution i guess

-you’ve done something bad

again, thank you for letting me know! if i post or say something questionable please feel free to message me and i’ll try my best to address the issue and adjust accordingly. i’m aiming to grow as a person so critique is welcome, both on me and my artwork. don’t just come up and call me an asshole or a prick or something, actually point out the errors and explain why they’re wrong so i can better understand and it doesn’t just turn into a defensive round of who’s worse, because i tend to be a very defensive person.

-i think someone is stealing/reposting your art!

thank you very much for telling me! don’t message them right off the bat, come to me first and i will deal with it. i’ve dealt with this shit tons of times and it’s tiring as fuck but i’d rather repeat the same stupid civil message over and over again than start a giant calamity over something and end up with someone getting hurt. if you do get involved please stay polite about it don’t throw insults just a simple “hey this art was done by princeofmints/tv-headache/zachary jack/dirtypip/(etc my other account names) and he doesn’t want his art reposted, please take this down or add proper credit.”

-can i use your art as an icon?

sure man. only on places like instagram, tumblr, or twitter though, and proper credit in an easy to see place must be given. if a piece of art is of my ocs or especially vent art though never use it for icons. thank you.

-can i repost your art?

the answer is “no” but i know you’re going to do it anyways. easy to see credit is mandatory. if you see somebody reposting my art please let me know and i’ll talk to them. if you want to use my art in things like image edits, i don’t allow that. want to use my art in a video? if it’s something like an AMV sure fine just credit me and inform me beforehand, if it’s something like a cringe/comparison video. no. i don’t want any association with work like that whatsoever. you may not use my artwork for fanfic covers.

-can i colour/finish one of your sketches?

no. even if you don’t intend on posting it.

-what is [insert some form of media/fandom]

https://www.google.ca/

-why do you have an entirely separate blog for your FAQ? you know you can make blog pages, right?

i’m well aware of that and originally my faq WAS set up on a blog page, but unfortunately many folks proved to be either lazy or just couldn’t figure out how to get to a blog page on mobile so i had to set it up this way for accessibility purposes.

-tons of your videos are gone, what happened to them? will they come back? can you repost them?

i set old videos on private for my own sake, i don’t like having my old content available bc it just looks old and stale and i don’t like it. there’s nothing deep about it, i just don’t want people interacting with my old stuff. as deep is it gets is i just deleted videos related to fandoms i’m sick of bc the association is fuckin annoying. these videos will not come back into public. i do keep them posted for my own reflection sake, but that’s it. don’t ask me to bring them back. don’t whine about me not putting shit back out just bc ur a little sad n gonna cry. guilting people is gross, reevaluate yourself.

if you want a song from an old video, just ask me! I’ll happily let you know what the music is in case u liked ‘em and can’t remember the titles or artists. i’ve also got a playlist full of the music i listen to so u can comb through there n see if the songs u want are there

#prince peeps

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blackthornass · 7 years

Note

Do you have any art tips?

Uhhhhhh Funk im not The Greatest Artist ™ but I’ll try to bestow some Wisdom on you. Keep in mind Art is Subjective and I’m no expert and all that so take everything with a grain of salt but that being said I’ll try to give u Tips and Tricks

-listen so if you have a boring class at school just draw in it. School is great because you have 1. Access to paper at all times 2. Incredibly boring lectures. If you have a study hall that’s the Drawing JACKPOT. Basically what I’m saying is practice all the time when you have energy but like that’s such boring art advice. It’s important but “practice! uwu” is like what people with Natural Art Talent say when they didn’t have to figure everything out from the ground up so it’s kind of aggravating

-There’s gonna be people better than you. Chances are you have a friend who’s better than you because this is Tumblr we all draw. Try Not To Compare Yourself ™ which idk how to do but it’s bad don’t do it

-unless you find a terrible person with worse art than you in which case FUCK DUDE COMPARE YOURSELF TO THEM! THEYRE HORRIBLE AND THEY CANT DRAW FOR SHIT LOOK WHOS LAUGHING NOW!

-“work until your idols become your rivals” is absolute bullshit because your idols are working at it at the same time you are. You fool. You imbecile. I feel like this works better for writing when your idols can become irrelevant or straight up die between you being an aspiring author 8 year old and a tired 30 year old who just wrote The Great American Novel ™ or just kind of. Leave the fandom if you’re writing fanfic. Anyway

-ok that’s all the preachy shit, time for Real Art Advice ™. Keep in mind I do digital cartoony shit with Strong Lineart and cel shading for the most part and I pretty much only draw people so my knowledge is limited to that. if you wanna be a professional artist maybe do other things and Expand your Abilities ™

-Ok first off if you’re using Gimp or Photoshop please love yourself and download Firealpaca or illegally torrent Paint Tool Sai or something. I swear by Firealpaca it cured my depression but like. Photoshop is Trash for drawing. Get Firealpaca it has Line Correction ™

-Keep Line Correction ™ at like. A 5 when you’re sketching and at a 19 (the maximum) when you’re lining, coloring, shading, highlighting, doing literally anything that isn’t sketching

-Sketching digitally can be hard if you’re used to sketching on paper and I find it easier to do a sketch on paper, take a picture of it on my phone or scan it, and line/color it digitally. You do you and figure out what works best

-speaking of which I refused to use sketchbooks until I was Worthy ™ of not drawing on notebook paper and uhhhhhh that’s dumb just get a sketchbook they cost a little more than a notebook at Target it’s not super expensive. Although if you’re not financially in the position to buy a sketchbook anyway, just hoard notebooks from school that you didn’t use much. Bam, that’s your new sketchbook

-the Head Circle Cross Thing and the Spheres For Shoulder, Elbow, and Wrist Thing are good and important and will save you

-hands are hard so use references but bullshit your way through it. eventually they’ll look good (I haven’t gotten there yet)

-HAVE FUN WITH NOSES OH MY GOD. Noses are super fun and cool because there’s, like, infinite variety with them, they can be as long or short, thin or thick, rounded or pointy as you want, you can make them be, like, triangles or circles or more squareish or diamond-shaped, the base of the nose can be about as high or as low on the face as you want, you can make the nostrils prominent or not really there at all, they can add another Layer to a character’s design, oh my goodness noses are so fun. They’re like, severely underrated and oh my god I could gush about how fucking fun noses are

-same with facial expressions. Where you put the pupils and how big they are, how much of the eye is covered by eyelids, the way the eyebrows are, the mouth, tons of other shit. There’s loads of variety and so much you can do and honestly having fun with the facial expression is The Best Part. There’s tons of Face Art Chart Memes floating around, you know the ones, save it to your phone/computer and practice those on your own time it’s fun

-if you don’t know how to do something, avoiding it won’t help you. Just kind of draw around with it in your sketchbook or in a “I’m not posting this” file until you feel confident enough to do it in your Real Projects ™.

-Ok for lining did you know..… it isn’t illegal to erase parts of the lineart to clean it up.… just be careful and draw it back in to the best of your abilities if you erase too far and use a smaller eraser brush/lining brush for this… I know it’s tedious nobody likes lining it’s okay you can do this put on some good music

-use mcfucking references

-eyedrop character’s official colors but adjust said colors based on the color of your background to make them look less funky is my general rule for clothing, I usually pick the hair/skin by myself or from something I’ve already drawn though

-for flats, make sure your lineart is all closed off and there aren’t any “holes” cuz that’ll mess up your coloring

-so how I do flats is I use the magic wand tool to select whatever I want to color, expand selection 3 pixels (in firealpaca you can set it to do this automatically), pick the color I need, turn up the brush to as big as possible, and color it in. It saves the time you’d spend with cleaning up where the color gets outside the lines

-you can do the flats on one layer, but I personally like to do every Object on a different layer so when I do shading, I know what goes on top of what

-if a color is darker than the lineart it looks ugly so pick your line color with caution (or just use black! Unlike shading black lineart tends to go with pretty much everything)

-SHADE YOUR GODDAMN ART. Like, what makes people go “wow holy shit that’s good!” is the shading + highlights, don’t be lazy ya fuck.

-I’d take a break before shading to Refresh Your Eyes ™ but also I constantly forget this is a good idea

-don’t shade with black oh my god. Unless you’re doing Strong Punchy Dramatic Stuff or monochrome black and white stuff, don’t shade with black, and if you’re doing that it’ll probably be drawn into the lineart. Don’t shade with black please we can tell you’re doing it and it looks bad

-highlighting with white isn’t too bad though, especially with the eyes, but it might look too strong in some places

-As a general rule, shading is darker and more saturated, highlighting is lighter and less saturated. Whether it gets warmer or cooler depends a lot on what color or thing you’re shading or what you want the feel of the picture to be and I’m not 100% sure how to do it myself so uh. Trust your gut and change the color if it looks wrong I guess.

-where exactly the shadows or highlights fall depends on lots of things, just kind of. Look at how things work irl maybe? This is the kind of thing that you just have to practice, and it’ll look like shit until suddenly it doesn’t sorry I’m not sure what to say

-One Medium Sized White Dot on a layer above the lineart where the pupil borders the Iris (or the whites of the eyes if you’re like me and you make the pupil and Iris one thing) works for a glint in the eye that makes a person look less dead and more cute. How big you’re gonna make it depends on how adorable you want the person to be

-SMOOTH BORDERS FOR THE SHADING ARE REALLY IMPORTANT IF YOURE DOING CEL SHADING which is why firealpaca is my best friend thanks line smoothing. If you’re doing like. Soft shading or painterly shit or other kinds of shading it’s less Super Important but like. Still be sort of neat. Unless being really messy and sketchy is what you’re going for but even then you still need to be sort of careful

-for simple backgrounds, it’s like. Easy to make it interesting. Add polka dots to the background or a big old square or a gradient or a cloud filter or something the possibilities are endless. Another option is to straight up make it transparent and write a secret message in white on the side. But uhh never do a blank white background at the very least fill it with a solid color

-ok style is kind of hard because I never had to struggle to find my style? I just “drew in my handwriting” so to speak and then if along the way I realized something looked shitty I just changed how I drew it slightly? I guess a thing you could do if you’re in tune enough is look at the styles of things you do like and things you don’t and figure out why you do and don’t like it. “I like how *2010s cartoon* does Eyes!” great take that general concept. “I hate how this shitty yaoi has enormous hands!” great then don’t do that. It’s all Personal Preference my dude style is Your Own Thing

-notes aren’t everything but fuck do they feel nice. Self reblogs are fine but don’t overdo it, I’d say reblog it Twice to account for time zones and tag it as self reblog so as to not be a dick

This got long whoops. That’s all I can think of but I hope this helps it’s All I Know

#long post -#hey look an ask #anonymous

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ryoukenkogami · 7 years

Text

kind of tagged by @waddupbpd

Rules: Answer all the questions, then add one of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

1) Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi even tho I don’t really like it either Coke genuinely makes me ??? actually literally sick rip

2) Disney or Dreamworks? Dreamworks

3) Coffee or tea? Tea coffee is nasty af

4) Books or movies? Books

5) Windows or Mac? Windows

6) D.C. or Marvel? I’m not rlly into western comics in general (Klarion the Witch Boy is my son though)

7) Xbox or PlayStation? Playstation

8) Dragon age or mass effect? I like the character designs from Dragon Age but never really played the one game I have rip

9) Night owl or early riser? Night time all the time

10) Cards or chess? Chess!

11) Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla

12) Vans or converse? Converse

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar? Who???

14) Fluff or angst? BOTH ARE GREAT but I’m an edgelord

15) Beach or forest? This is so hard too.. . .... Beach bcs I hate buggos and I’m terrified of snakes

16) Dogs or cats? Cats

17) Clear skies or rain? Rain

18) Cooking or eating out? Eating out

19) Spicy or mild food? Mild bland as fuck also please

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? Uh idk I don’t particularly care about either

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? Just a little? Cold in that case

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? Teleportation!

23) Animation or live action? Animation

24) Paragon or renegade? ?????????????

25) Bath or shower? Shower power

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? Iron Man

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? Fantasy

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favourite quotes if so what are they? Yes and they’re all from weeb shit

1) “Although I'm weak and full of flaws, I will never stop moving forward. No matter who I am, no one other than myself will create my own existence. No matter what others may think or feel, I will still move forward as myself.” -Oz Vessalius (Pandora Hearts)

2) “I don't really like people who go around brandishing the banner of justice. No matter the reason, where human's are involved, there is no black or white, no justice or evil. There is only our will.” -Oz Vessalius (Pandora Hearts) THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME and I’m getting part of it as a tattoo

3) “I know it's not good to be weak and helpless. But I don't think it's good to be too strong either. In our society, they talk about survival of the fittest. But we're not animals. We're human.” -Yuki Sohma (Fruits Basket)

4) “But...I think...I want to live with all my memories. Even if they're sad memories. Even if they're memories that only hurt me. Even...even if they're memories that I'd rather forget. If I keep them and I keep trying, without running away...if I keep trying, then someday...someday I'll be strong enough that those memories can't defeat me. I believe that...I want to...believe that. Because I want to think...that there's no such thing...as a memory that's okay to forget.” -Momoji Sohma (Fruits Basket)

Yeah I’m a big weeb but these series mean so much to me emotionally sldkhafshfdk

29) YouTube or Netflix? YouTube

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? Harry Potter for life bruh

31) When do you feel accomplished? Good joke

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Wars

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? Hardcover

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? Haven’t read the latter, or seen the former. For what it’s worth I’ve READ Fantastic Beasts lmao

35) Rock or pop music? Both

36) What is the most important thing in your life? Maasa Sudo

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? Ocean

38) How do you express yourself? The characters I love and H!P music and drawing

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? A Series of Unfortunate Events

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? Air?

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Japan (to see Maasa)

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? Art therapist

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

1) To meet Maasa

2) For Serpico to have a happy end (mostly I want him to finally be able to stand on his own two feet like that’s what I want for him by the end of it all)

3) For reincarnated Elliot to find Leo again please Mochijun please

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Mac and cheese pizza

45) What’s currently the most pressing issue on your mind, and what’s stopping you from fixing it? Constant depression + my all the stupid shit going on in my life that fucked me up so bad lately

46) What is your dream companion animal? Cat!

47) Raptors or songbirds? Raptors

48) Do you think there is life on other planets in the universe? Yes?? Of course

49) What’s your strangest childhood memory? Going to some weird indoor arcade at a mall and riding a (small) roller coaster there

50) what is your perfect breakfast? Idk like a ton of mini pancakes

51) what is your zodiac? Libra/Ox

52) What is your fave headcanon from any media? Diego Brando is very very very short

53) If you could be with anyone right now who would it be? My fp

#tag thing

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dyed-red · 3 years

Text

Get to Know Me

I was tagged by the loveliest @prince-of-elsinore for this get to know me tag game :) I’m going to mostly answer these questions as being about this blog, even though it’s a sideblog. For the folks I tagged, there’s a clean version of the questions below the cut if you’d like to answer!

1. why did you choose your url?

I have a deep fondness for the song There Goes the Neighbourhood by Sheryl Crow

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

This is a sideblog :D I started it first as a place to dump posts that might be more controversial so I could get into tumblr arguments without alienating or exhausting a bunch of followers, back when I was a bit more self-conscious. I barely used it for years until I tripped head-first (back?) into the SPN fandom and was using it as a place to drop a ton of wincest posts as fic-inspo. Eventually it started to take on a bit of it’s own identity

@coldtomyflash is my sideblog for DCTV / arrowverse on the CW. It was my first sideblog and I created it so that my main didn’t become completely overrun with coldflash (the flash / captain cold) when that became my hyperfixation several years ago. still post from time to time and there’s an AO3 pseud with all my coldflash writing that is predominately connected to that blog. at some point i’m gonna join a new fandom and have to decide which pseud to post under...

@forthebothofus is a new and not-much-used sideblog I parked the url for in case I ended up getting really into Walker (CW). I’ve reblogged some stuff but I only have one foot in that content right now so idk where it will go, if anywhere.

@phynali is my main

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since sometime in 2012, if not a bit earlier

4. do you have a queue tag?

not on here that i can recall (i tag very sporadically on here? it’s still partly a place for me to dump every SPN post i think looks pretty) but on @phynali it’s #thank queue for coming

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i explained why i started this sideblog up there, so to explain why i joined / started @phynali: it was for fandom. livejournal content was drying up and i couldn’t find new dedicated forums or communities, but i started noticing people link their tumblrs on AO3. i found out an irl friend who wrote fic had a tumblr so I asked her to show me the ropes

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

the first theme i setup for this sideblog was all winter imagery, maybe because of my love for captain cold or maybe because it was mid-winter in canada when i set it up (who can say). i haven’t changed the image because i’m both lazy and resistant to change

7. why did you choose your header?

brb checking what my current header is because i think i actually did change it recently -

ahhh right okay so there’s this sort of neon aesthetic i’m into related to an original writing project of mine called Rest for the Wicked and this is one of the images i dragged up for vibe i’m going for with one of the characters

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

on this blog? i honestly don’t know, i mostly reblog and add commentary so tracking notes on original posts doesn’t mean much. on @phynali i know that my post arguing against exclusionary bullshit when the ace discourse was in its heyday on here got 10k notes in the space of a day. i can’t claim all the notes though; i was arguing against the OP because she was spewing pastel-coloured bullshit, and the post blew up because because my friend moderated a well-followed discourse blog and reblogged my argumentative reply.

related to SPN, my post with the most notes is likely my one about Sam and bodily autonomy

9. how many mutuals do you have?

do... do people count??? i have no idea?

10. how many followers do you have?

on which blog...? @phynali has 1100+ but this blog has under 30, and tbh I’m kinda shocked it has any, given the lack of original posts or anything approaching a tag system. it’s all added commentary and reblogged art and somehow y’all are into that and i am delighted

11. how many people do you follow?

121 and it’s. too many. just. too many. i need to cut that down. i try to keep it under 100 and this is the most i’ve ever followed.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

on @phynali yes, numerous times, mostly about my friend being the zodiac killer

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

there used to be days where i was on all day every day with it the background. now i’m mentally healthier and my adhd is medicated and being treated so i have a bit more control over my social media usage. i’d say i’m on most days 1-2 times (morning and evening), but whether i just pop in to check if i have messages or whether i stick around and scroll varies depending on what else i’m doing that day.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

hahahahahahahahahahahha -

uhm. yes. note what this sideblog was made for in the first place: an easier space to argue with people (ironic that it’s the only blog i’ve ever had where i haven’t got into an argument with someone).

i’m a scrappy little shit and at any given time you can assume i’m actively restraining myself from getting into unnecessary internet arguments. i literally got off facebook because i got a reputation for take-down arguments in the comments of my friend’s posts, back in like 2010.

i don’t always win, but i either learn something, change my mind, and concede, or else i’m going to say i won because i’m stubborn like that

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

utter garbage. i hate guilt appeals. the surefire way to get me to not do something is to try and guilt me. i will bite off my nose to spite my face before i allow someone to guilt-trip me

16. do you like tag games?

i do! they’re often fun :)

17. do you like ask games?

i also do! assuming we mean the ask lists you can reblog, that is. except they’re often very horny, romantic, or deeply personal? or maybe it’s just that the people i follow reblog those ones the most frequently. either way i don’t reblog them much because i’m seldom interested in the questions listed

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i’ve been here near a decade and still don’t know what constitutes fame on this website. there’s like 5 blogs i think of as tumblr famous whereas the rest of us are just chilling in this amorphous space.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

a crush-crush? no. a writer-crush? @lovetincture‘s writing is so beautiful i want to drown myself in it and they’re a good part of the reason i dipped my toe onto twitter (at which point my adhd promptly sucked me in because wow that website is constant stimulation just like this one). so i guess that counts?

20. tags?

if these folks are interested (no pressure though ofc): i know you already tagged @fallcolorspringrapid so how about @lovetincture, @redmyeyes (who recently posted this fic y’all should go read), and @digitalmeowmix :)

clean copy of questions to copy/paste below the cut

clean copy:

1. why did you choose your url?

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

4. do you have a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

7. why did you choose your header?

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

9. how many mutuals do you have?

10. how many followers do you have?

11. how many people do you follow?

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

16. do you like tag games?

17. do you like ask games?

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

20. tags?

#ask games #about me #tagged for me

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