i have never been as good at art as i would like to be. however i have decided to stop being embarrassed about this. the only way to get better at art is to do art! so im going to do my best to 1. draw more and 2. post it on here

The Trio of Neverland, Zagreus, and Scherzo have completely ruined my brain because I’m now convinced the only way my favorite show can be creative again is for it to get taken off the air.

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

ugh reading a book of poetry based on really liking a single poem and then the rest is just sort of mid navelgazing with extra space is really depressing for some reason

there always comes a point in my fandom arcs after 2-3 business years where all the creative passion and wind goes out of me and I fall to the floor like an empty sheet. I always get a prickling sense of when it's time to Move On with something else. but the fact that this happened immediately after part 1 of a 2-part fic that I haven't written a single word of prose for since March 17th is really a low blow, lmao.

somehow I have to find the scrap of light in me to finish this thing before I can close the door for a little while, and it's hard to even find that minute spark right now. I almost don't even want to do it. I keep hoping that waiting more weeks, or months at this point, will somehow grant me enough creative fortitude to finish things off. but I don't think I can keep going with any consistency right now. I do this for free and I'm all used up 🫠

So first I spent most of last year not making any art, to the point where it becomes distressing and bad for my mental health.

Then I wrote an entire ass novel in a little less than three months. Which I put in a drawer and promised myself I wouldn't start on the second draft until January.

Except it turned out that writing was the only thing keeping my seasonal depression at bay. So then I finished outlining an entire second sort of sequel novel before Christmas.

And then husband and kid went to visit my mom (who I finally cut off last year) and I was alone most of last week.

And now I'm 11K words into a first draft of a second one.

Why am I like this.

I am in a school where its student council is being run by a villain I swear to god

say what you will about homestuck fandom but the fanwork is always going to eat

mad I stayed up drawing and now it's 230 in the morning

no offense but when 2pm came back from a five-year hiatus in 2021. i'm still not over that

Unfortunately all chatgpt is good for is interview/job application stuff which I think says a lot about the hiring process as a whole

I CAN'T FIND ANYMORE TOBY FICS... Good ones, I mean, I'm gonna cry what do I do :(( I need the fandom to live again

We all need to get equally invested for it to ✨thrive✨ once again

It’s sad seeing three consecutive author’s notes that are just cries for help.

New icon featuring one of Goro's unused beta sprites (and his mask that I drew because it looks cute)!!! I am totally sane about him!!!

Something something commodification of hobbies resulting in alienated leisure as parallel to alienated labour... disconnect from “product�� in both instances... alienated from leisure activities through need to commodify under rules of post-Fordist neoliberal capitalist hustle culture... if the goal is to enjoy the effort, putting a price on that effort transforms said effort into labour/done for profit rather than enjoyment, and so the individual is alienated from their goal of enjoyment in service of the new capitalism, in much the same way that a worker is alienated from their labour under Fordist capitalism... something something “the market” as boss to self-employed individuals... something something the algorithm is more fickle than the man in head office and you don’t even have a union....

the song meet me in the woods is sooo steddie vibes……..

omg it really does!!

i assume you mean the lord huron song sjdjskj

it really has the energy of like, eddie survives the upside down, changed forever bc how could you not be, and finds his way back to steve. he’s different. he’s darker. he’s dangerous maybe bc how else did he survive? they’ll never be the same after this. “i can feel it in my bones / i fucked with forced that our eyes can’t see / now the darkness got a hold on me.” like ??? HELLO?

i love the idea of them finding each other. bc they’re the only ones that get it. this like unspoken thing where they’re almost two sides of the same coin. steve has always survived the upside down encounters with some battle scars, but eddie’s first go and they lose him. opposite ends of the spectrum but there’s something magnetic that pulls them together. it’s something inexplicable. “don’t look back, them days are gone / follow me into the endless night / i can bring your fears to life / show me yours and i’ll show you mine / meet me in the woods tonight.”

“show me yours and i’ll show you mine” is it. that’s the line for them. it has almost running away together vibes and i really fuck with that.