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#throws my anxiety through the roof
rubenesque-as-fuck · 3 months
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Really don't appreciate getting threatening "Your Rent is Due Today" emails when I already paid that shit this morning
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veradune · 12 days
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So that was a really weird mood whiplash last week between the very bad anniversary depression-fest multiplied by a sleep-deprived long furby frenzy.
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kkujo · 6 months
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and everything has consistently sucked since we got back from that trip.. not a week after that i got covid and was really sick the beginning of august was truly the last time i felt properly happy. word
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simply-m-a-d · 2 years
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if this is what it takes to graduate I don’t wanna graduate anymore
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sleepy-sothis · 2 months
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I thought I kind of knew how things worked but it turns out I just fucking do not and maybe that's just life, isn't it
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lucybianchi · 4 months
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.
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verynonyideas · 10 months
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You know…sometimes I don’t feel anxious and I worry when something will happen. Then I get a message from my family.
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::2 hours on the phone with multiple family members, causing a borderline anxiety attack::
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I love my family. 🙃 Like seriously, I do. But Jesus Christ. Please don’t even talk to me about death, diseases, and/or conspiracies after 6pm.
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I don’t need to be wound up before bed. 🤦‍♀️
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xnightmare-eyesx · 10 months
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I'm going to scream into the void because the trip I'm on has gone off the rails because the car broke down and I have to use Uber for the first time ever and we're on a time crunch with the hotel room and our plans and I wanna screammmmm
But I haven't exploded yet!
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garaviel · 11 months
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Horror movies wish they could do suspense as well as a manager not immediately responding to your call in
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Me earlier: oh actually I don’t think my PMS has been that bad this time around?? Maybe microgynon is stabilising my mood
Me just now: *reading people’s stories about knee sprains and sobbing from sympathy*
#i had the bright idea to research knee sprains. as if 1) i don’t already know enough (having now experienced FOUR)#and 2) that wouldn’t cause my anxiety to spike through the fucking roof#there was this one man’s story though that got me#he said he went to the urgent care and the doctor was more focused on telling him about how overweight he was than examining his knee#he ended up getting his prescription and going home but then while he was trying to limp around doing his chores he put his weight on his#knee wrong and it TWISTED#and i was reading this going 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 because i know EXACTLY what he means#the pain of a partial knee dislocation is… not something i can explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it or something similar#it is. gut wrenching. i don’t know how i didn’t throw up any of the times it’s happened to me#what hits you before the actual pain is the Wrongness of it. it feels like you’ve broken yourself. and you feel so so sick#then the pain hits you and all you can do is scream#it’s so horrible. the first time i did it i thought i’d broken my leg. i felt on some intrinsic level that i had damaged myself irrevocably#i saw like weeks or months of hospital stays and rehabilitation in my brain. i thought i was disabled; possibly permanently#then i went to a&e and found out i’d partially dislocated my knee leading to an overextended ligament#and i was back on my feet just over a week later 🙃 but seriously#this time around it’s been 2 weeks and i still can’t straighten my knee while i’m standing up; i can’t put my weight on it#and i can’t stand or walk for longer than 5 minutes. with or without my brace#it’s scary!! like helloooo. i would like to go back to my (extremely physical; i’m talking 7.5 hours a day on my feet) job sooner or later#and i know i’m improving but it really feels like it’s absolutely minute. like. i was going to send my boss an update but then i realised it#would be exactly the same as the one i sent last week. i still get fatigued if i stand for more than a few minutes. i’m still just barely#getting around my house. like…#people keep asking ‘how’s the knee’ every single day and i’m like ‘it’s the fucking SAME’ like use your brain.#it’s not going to fully heal overnight!! it’s not even going to be much different#god i Wish i’d gone to the hospital when i first did this. i wish i knew for certain i hadn’t torn anything#like i don’t think i’d be able to move as well as i can if i had. and i think i’d have a lot more pain#but SERIOUSLY. i know i probably shouldn’t clog up the a&e but is there a way to go to the hospital with a knee sprain after 2 weeks#and be taken seriously. or should i pretend it only just happened.#i don’t think i could pull that off considering there’s only minimal swelling left. but my knee does look fucking bizarre i’ll give it that#okay if i still can’t walk properly in another week i’m showing up at a walk in or somewhere and refusing to leave til someone looks at me#personal
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crunchycrystals · 1 year
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im gonna throw up
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glassballdinosaurs · 2 years
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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fuckmyskywalker · 4 months
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𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐝. — 𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫.
18+. Smut. Cheating. Affairs. Dilf!Anakin. Female Reader | AFAB!Reader. Age gap. Minor sexist remarks. Tit sucking/play. | Word count: 1.2k (not proofread!)
This is a draft from like May 2023. I don't remember why I never finished it but here it is. Can't believe it's almost a year old.
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"Could you stop staring at them?" You ask with a frown, rolling up the car window. Anakin’s blue eyes hold a lustful intensity as they admire your bare tits, bringing his hand to his lips to remove the cigarette and exhaling the smoke outside the parked vehicle. 
"They're pretty," Anakin smirks, tired eyes almost glowing under the dim street lamps of the empty road. You have no clue where he brought you, but then again— you don’t ask too many questions about Anakin. "You have bigger tits than my wife."
"Ugh, you're fucking disgusting" You roll your eyes, looking away so he can’t see the ghost of a smile on your lips. As mean and hypocritical the compliment is— something about being approved under the eyes of a man who could easily be your father makes your stomach twirl.
“It's true,” Anakin continues pushing through, well aware that with enough sweet talk, you’ll fall under his claws… even his definition of ‘sweet talking’ leaves much to be desired. “Plus, yours are still intact, you know.” 
“Meaning?” 
“Kids, idiot. Your tits don’t have stretch marks or are saggy,” Anakin replies as if it wasn’t obvious. The comment makes you give him a dirty look. Age won’t take the sexist tendencies. 
“I think stretch marks are hot” You reply with a mindless shrug. “You have stretch marks on your lower back.” Anakin rolls his eyes, flicking the burnt cigarette outside the window. 
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, did I?” He bites back, looking outside for a moment to hide the smirk on his lips. It’s hilarious how similar you two can be sometimes. Anakin throws the cigarette pack back in the cup holder and turns around, leaving one hand on the steering wheel and returning his eyes to your tits.
But you saw his little smirk anyway.
He considers smoking another one, but he can already imagine the lecture from his wife about the smell and he already showered this morning so he doesn’t want to sleep with damp hair.  Anakin notices how you twist your shirt on your lap, playing with the seams and the tag. You are nervous, which isn’t something unrealistic when you are with him. He can be so unpredictable and the whole thing of “having an affair with a married man who is old enough to be your father” already gives you enough of adrenaline and anxiety; Sometimes Anakin asks himself how the affair started, when did it changed from lingering looks and polite smiles to fucking you in the couch, after knowing you his whole life as the neighbor’s daughter who grew up playing dolls with Leia and hide and seek with Luke. 
It has been a couple of minutes since he asked you to remove your shirt, not really touching you, maybe edging you by waiting for his next move. Sneaking with Anakin is always like this. Finding a cheap motel every four days or so— because God forbids you to go to the same one three times in a row, that could be suspicious— eating some greasy takeout in the parking lot and then wandering around the streets. It may look that Anakin is prolonging the “date”, but you know better. He just dreads driving back home, he dislikes going back to his so-called perfect family. You know things are terrible under the tall, well-built roof. You hear it from him, read Leia’s texts, and wait for her when she has to stop his parents from arguing. Perhaps you are tangling yourself too much with the broken family… or tangling too much with his dick in your mouth and his fingers between your legs.
Your window is closed but not his. Outside isn’t particularly cold but you are shirtless. Your nipples are hard and sensitive and Anakin seems to enjoy the view. You can see the outline of his erection, choosing not to point it out. “Can I put my shirt on? I don’t want to die of hypothermia.”
“No,” Anakin simply answers. 
He doesn’t break eye contact with your chest when he speaks, as if he is in a trance. His hand cupped your left breast, not the gloved one that you know his wife hates, no— the flesh one, the one that is warm all the time. You relax under his touch, already used to being groped at any time. It’s oddly comforting. Or maybe it is the feeling of being desired.
Closing your eyes, you sigh, content with the minimal contact. A few seconds later his right hand joins and he is now freely palming your breasts, squeezing them softly, and rubbing your perky nipples with his palms. You don’t get why his wife hates his leather glove so much. Or is it the mechanical hand underneath? You would never know, nor you wish to— You can’t even bring yourself to think about anything else right now. His fingertips, calloused and rough pinch the tender nubs making you moan. 
He intercalates the groping and the pinching, taking his sweet time until you are breathless. Anakin can be patient when he wants to, not when he needs to. The constant teasing makes you press your thighs together, already turned on by his harsh touch.
Anakin continues torturing you until you are panting, closing your eyes and arching your back every time he pulls them softly. He even bounces them a little, licking his lips. He always knew he loved tits, but yours were his absolute favorites.
“Recline your seat” Anakin murmurs.
“What?” You snap out of your weak daze, looking at the older man with half-lidded eyes.
A deep chuckle bounces inside his car, you never cease to amaze him. “Brainless bitch,” He says with a tone that could be mistaken for affectionate. Anakin removes his hands much to your dismay, shaking his hand and clicking his tongue when you whimper in protest. “Shut up.” Reaching his hand towards your side, he pulls the lever of your seat. Reclining it and making you gasp. Your eyes meet the ceiling just in time for him to lower his face, attaching his mouth on your left nipple and sucking.
Your hand instantly touches his hair, running your fingers through the silky sea of blonde and gray. How can be so handsome in his late 40s? Only God knows. He sucks and bites, enjoying it a little too much. Anakin wouldn’t be Anakin if he doesn’t leave a couple of hickeys and bites, and you can’t complain. Seeing them the next morning when you get ready for school is always a blessing… and a gloomy reminder of the twisted relationship you are involved in— if you can even call it a relationship.
“What time is it?” He suddenly asks, lifting his head and licking his lips. 
You check your phone on the pull handle. “9:48, why?”
“My wife should be asleep. Look for another motel,” Anakin cradles your face, guiding your face towards his and kissing you, sliding his tongue between your lips and making you moan weakly from just a kiss. That’s the type of effect he has on you. “And call your parents, tell them you will be staying over in a sleepover with Leia.”
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natailiatulls07 · 10 months
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Drive to survive
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Charles Leclerc & leclerc!driver!reader
Summary - Netflix's drive to survive interviews Y/n and Charles Leclerc about something that caused immense issues
Warning - Cheating, car crash, panic attack, fire, crying, swearing and self doubt
Reader drives for Ferrari
Purple is flashbacks
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Y/n Leclerc, Ferrari
"Hello, I'm Y/n Leclerc. I'm 24 years old and I race for Ferrari alongside my twin brother, Charles Leclerc" I sat in the seat just in front of the camera, my anxiety throw the roof. My last season had ended on a bad note, with some personal troubles effecting my focus on track.
The producer settled herself down just to the side of the camera with a hand full of questions and topics that we would talk through for Netflix. "How are you feeling right now?"
Taking a deep breath in and out before answering. "yeah..I think I'm good. but yet I guess I'll have to be" A nervous chuckle left my lips which earned me a look of sympathy from the producer.
Looking down at her paper, she prepared herself to ask the first question. "So how do you feel after your ending last year?" Her voice calm and collected, as if she wanted me to feel that energy, this was what I was grateful for.
It took me a second of debating, debating my answer. "Um yeah, I mean it was a hard time obviously...I had some personal problems regarding my relationship and unfortunately that had its effect on my performance" A pause to think over my answer. "Of course I should not have um let that effect my performance, which I am greatly disappointed at myself for"
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Walking into my appartment, I noticed the absence of Theo in the open plan kitchen lounge. I searched further into the appartment. Thats where I saw Theo in my bed with another girl.
Tears were welling up in my eyes, I had been dating him since I was just twenty but yet he decided to throw that away for some girl. "What the fuck?!" Shock, betrayal and heartbreak. Thats all I felt.
That night I kicked him and his sidechick out of my appartment, wanting to see nothing of them ever again. Luckily my three brothers were coming round that evening. So when they saw me, cheeks burned with tears, they knew something happened.
~
It was the last grand prix of the season, Abu Dhabi, I was sat in p4 just awaiting for the five red lights to flash away. My head was clogged with that day, the day I got heartbroken. "Radio check, radio check" My race engineers voice came through my headset.
"Loud and clear..." Voice low and weary as I replied.
"Y/n...you can do it, just forget and clear your mind" He knew of my heartache, heck everyone knew, wanting nothing more for me to end the season on a high note.
That race was my worst race to date. I didn't finish it. It was the Abu Dhabi race where I crashed, the Abu Dhabi race where I just sat by my burning car tangled up in a panic attack. I couldn't control my breathing or my mind.
Not my finest hour, in my opinion it was my very worse.
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Looking down at my lap, I could see my leg persistantly bumping up and down. It was hard to talk about that time. "What was your first instinct to your crash?" The producer asked her next question.
Once again my mind was casted back to that night. "Well um I remember that after I got out of my car, I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't control my breathing. I was having a panic attack and I just couldn't calm myself down"
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It was loud. I could hear the safety team trying to calm down the fire. I could hear fans watching on from the sidelines. I could hear my race engineer trying to calm me down through my headset. I felt like I was moving away from the real world every second.
My mind couldn't focus on one thing. I felt the warmth of the fire on my body. I felt the hands of a safety team member trying to bring me back down to earth.
~
When Charles heard the red flag through his radio, his mind went straight to Y/n. Where was Y/n? Is Y/n okay? Growing up Charles grew more and more protective of his twin.
So when he saw her car and herself not in attendance of the Ferrari, he became even the more distressed. But when he saw the crash on the large television screen, he set off run towards it much to the team dismay.
Charles ran until he reached the burn car. He saw her sat there curled up in her arms.
"Bébé bébé peux-tu m'entendre? Je suis là, souffle souffle écoute mon coeur" He pulled her into himself, moving her head to rest just above his heart. Wanting her to hear his heartbeat and copy it.
Charles knew of her panic attacks, he watched them grow worse and worse as they grew up. But he always knew how to help her, calm her down and breath.
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Charles Leclerc, Ferrari
"How did you feel when you saw your teammate and sister crash and then have a panic attack?" The producer asked the 25 year old Ferrari driver.
His eyes downcasted, that night was his nightmare. "I remember feeling um this sense of terror fill me when I saw her crash. Aside from being my teammate at Ferrari, Y/n is my twinsister. She's has always had her panic attacks but that night..." Charles felt his eye water up even at the thought.
"That night was the worst panic attack she has ever had, I don't think I'll recover from that night" Standing up from his chair, Charles walked away from the camera. Tears flooding down his cheeks.
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Y/n Leclerc, Ferrari
"It was only when Charles came that I started to come back down to earth. It's always when he comes that I come back." It was always Charles who helped me through my panic attacks.
Charles. He has been my rock ever since forever. He had been my rock when times got rough and tough. Before each race checking on me and everyday checking on me. He knew how hard I was taking my breakup and just wanted to help me through that.
Once again, I took in another deep breath, trying to distance myself from that night. "So 2023, how are you feeling about returning to Ferrari with Charles by your side?" The producer continued.
A small smile made its way to my face. "Yeah um I'm excited of course. I love racing, I love getting behind that wheel and fighting for a place on the podium, fighting for first place" Nodding my head, with approval of my comment.
"Well thank you so much for talking with us today, I know it's hard to talk about something like that" The camera were cut off, we both stood up from our seats.
Walking out of the studio, I felt a sense of relief and solace fall on my shoulders. This replacing the deep sorrow and disappointment.
-
I heard my appartment door open and close. Walking into the kitchen lounge, Charles had a proud smile on his face. "Whats got you smile like that?" I laughed at my confusion, Charles joining in with my amused laughter.
"Lucy, your manager, just called me and she told me about your interview with Netflix today...I'm so proud of you baby sis" His tears cloud his waterline whilst tears of my own clouded my own.
Finally, I had gotten over my anxiety and my regret. I could breath again.
-
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thewulf · 3 months
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Never a Burden || Legolas
Summary: Request: hiyaaa i have another legolas fic ideaaa! You write him soo well. How about reader who hasnt slept in a while and always offers to take watch. Legolas ofc notices after a bit and demands she doesnt take watch that night... Read Rest Here
A/N: Another one for my fav elf. Thanks always for the requests!!
Pairing: Legolas x Female Reader
Word Count: 3.1k +
TW: General LOTR triggers, anxiety, fear
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Throwing out your bedroll you knew it would be a useless effort trying to sleep as it was so dark out. The stars were hiding behind a thick layer of cloud that had other plans for the night. The further along in the journey to Mordor the more your anxiety grew. Ever since the group was attacked by orcs not long back you couldn’t seem to fall asleep at night. You were left to sleep during the small breaks the Hobbits needed or when you got to sit on the horse.
The attack was weeks ago now. The lack of sleep and the constant moving was really starting to get to you. You’d do anything to be back in Rivendell under the elves protection. One of those elf beds would feel immaculate in this moment.
“I’ll take the first watch.” You yawned, speaking to the group as they huddled around the fire trying to keep warm.
Legolas looked up to you with skepticism in his eyes. He was the most observant of the group. He’d noticed you slept less than he had ever since the ten of them left Rivendell. He didn’t know you well. You’d come accompanying Boromir, but he quickly grew a liking to you. You were quiet and reserved, speaking only when you thought it was needed and always helping. Even him being an elf didn’t negate the fact he found you quite striking for both a non-ellon and a human altogether. That and you were far more intriguing than any other creature he’d come across in all his years across middle earth. How had the thirty-year-old mortal done that to him? What were you doing to him?
Legolas was a far departure from his father, King Thranduil, who had a disdain towards the human race. Instead, Legolas found humans, you more so, absolutely fascinating. How much the race managed to cram in their short lives. It exhausted him at the thought of what mortals went through. But it was their normal.
“Aye Lassie. Why don’t you let Legolas take the first watch. You’ve been up quite a bit, yeah?” Gimli spoke up after Legolas had confided him in of his worries over you. Usually, you were chatty and upbeat, but that personality Legolas had looked forward too had vanished all too quickly.
“Oh, it’s all right. Really. I’m not terribly tired.” You lied. You were exhausted but sleep just wouldn’t come.
Legolas shook his head, “I insist, Y/N. You’ve taken watch nearly every night for the last few weeks. You need a break.”
You bit your cheek trying to bite back your usual sharp tongue. He was just trying to be kind. Little did he know he was doing the opposite of what you wanted. You craved a distraction from the darkening thoughts in your mind that drove your fear and anxieties through the roof.
You gave up after a few hours. The snores of all the males around you irritating you more than soothing you too sleep at this rate. You got up from your bedroll and walked down the path to find Legolas. You knew he’d be displeased at your arrival but truly, you could not sleep. After a few moments of wandering in the dark it was he who found you. He had the advantage of being an elf and all.
“Whatever are you doing awake mellon nin?” It was like he appeared out of thin air startling you more than you wanted to admit. You spun around look up into his ever so blue eyes that shone bright in the darkness. Somehow they were striking even in the dead of the night.
“I said I could not sleep. Gimli’s snores are bothering me. I needed to be away.” You sighed in frustration.
Legolas took your hand like he had so many times before. You tried to ignore the way your heart raced at his touch. Needing to get over it, it wasn’t uncommon to have to touch or pull or shield another person or creature in the fellowship from time to time. It didn’t mean anything; it was just how things were. Legolas could never like a human like you. You’d be gone in the blink of an eye. It was probably funny for elves, little mortal crushes that they likely forgot about after some time.
“Come sit.” He pulled you down with him at the base of a large tree. Once you’d settled down beside him he continued, “What bothers you?”
You weren’t really going to tell him. That was far too embarrassing. You were supposed to be a fearless Ranger of Gondor. You’d been hand selected to travel with Boromir at request of his father, Denethor II. How could you deny such an honorable request? A female hand selected? You had a job to do, and you were going to do it well. Even if it quite literally killed you.
Instead, you shrugged, “Cannot sleep is all.”
Legolas wasn’t going to accept that as your answer, “Why not mellon nin?”
You turned your head to look at his, “I don’t know. Sleep has always been hard for me.” It was a lie even Legolas could see right on through.
He was quiet for a moment before pressing on a bit further, “You view me as your friend, no?”
You’d known him for a few months now after departing from Rivendell and naturally you’d grown close to him the quickest. Boromir was always a comfort as he reminded you so much of home, Minas Tirith. But Legolas brought out a different sort of bliss that drew you too him. He was funny, witty, sarcastic, and so different than any other elf you’d met in your almost thirty years in middle earth.
“Of course, I do Legolas. Why do you ask?” Maybe if you played dumb he wouldn’t press.
But you were wrong, “You can talk to me about what is bothering you. I have noticed you have been… off.” He paused looking over to you to see your reaction. Your eyes widened slightly at his realization of you sudden change. You should’ve known he would notice. He was far more observant than the common male you usually found yourself around in the mortal world, “I am worried for you mellon. I have not seen you smile in weeks. When was the last time you slept through the night?” He asked hoping you would open up to him for once. Legolas had found you to be particularly hard to crack. Most Rangers were but you didn’t seem like you’d ever budge. You’d been trained to be a stone wall and you were excelling at it.
You looked down feeling suddenly guilty for making him worry about you of all things. There were so many things that his attention needed to be on, not you and your emotions, “I cannot sleep. Not at night at least.” You yawned feeling the exhaustion overwhelming you, but your mind would not shut off even as you begged it.
Legolas nodded, motioning for you to continue, “I know this.” He said without judgement.
You let out a small sigh knowing you’d just have to tell him. He was never going to stop, not now, “Ever since the orc’s attacked us. I can’t seem to sleep. My head will not let me Legolas. I try, trust me I try so hard. And I am so tired. So tired I am afraid I have become a liability. What good will I be in battle if I can hardly handle my sword anymore. I am weak and tired and…” You felt the tears overwhelming your vision as you let it all out. Once the words had started it was like a waterfall had come out of your mouth.
Legolas ran a comforting hand up and down your back as you let it out. You wanted to run away from his touch as you had so many times before. You were a Ranger. Rangers had solo lives. You couldn’t get attached; it wasn’t fair to anybody let alone you. But damn, as his fingers traced up and down your back you knew you needed it. This life was lonely, and you were terribly touch starved. It felt so good. You knew his touch kept you from spiraling further into your own mind. Thankfully, the tears subsided before a full-blown anxiety attack took over your emotions.
Once your sniffles subsided he spoke up trying to continue to provide you the needed comfort, “I will let no harm befall you mellon nin.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze hoping it would provide you some additional comfort you needed. Legolas was no expert in elf emotion let alone human woman ones. But you seemed to be responding to his gentle advances positively so he concluded he must have been doing something correctly.
You sniffled knowing you probably looked awful under the tears that had slipped out. It had been so long since you cried. Not when you learned your mother had passed. Not when you’d been stabbed many times over training and being a Ranger. No, now when Legolas had finally got you to open up to him after months of trying.
“You cannot promise that Legolas.” Your voice sounded horse after letting more out than you had intended.
His eyes narrowed in on your puffy cheeks, raw from the crying, “I can, and I do, Ranger of Gondor.”
But you shook your head in response, “I do not wish to ask that of you Legolas. You need to look out for yourself and the Hobbits.”
“And you.” He only cocked his head to get a better look at you. He wasn’t shying away from the conversation like you were. It had become too difficult to look him in the eye at this point. You were too mortified by the breakdown and the now defense that was stemming from it.
He was as stubborn as you were, “Legolas you…”
But he stopped you by placing a hand on your arm, “I do not wish to offend. But you can hardly hold up your sword any longer. Do not think that has gone unnoticed by me nor Aragorn. You cannot protect yourself let alone Boromir. Not until you let yourself rest.”
You looked away once again in shame. Thinking you’d done an excellent job at hiding these exact ailments. Words were suddenly hard as you failed to come up with a sentence. What was the best way to admit how scared you were to sleep. How embarrassing for a literal Ranger. If anybody were judging, thankfully for you, they chose not to say a thing.
“As I said, I do not wish to offend you.” He said once more, this time a little softer as he dropped his hand from your arm leaving you aching for that touch that seemed to come so rarely these days.
“Hardly.” You swallowed your breath and took the moment to finally look at Legolas once again. He was studying your exhausted form before his icy blue eyes landed on yours. While you knew you couldn’t see him as well as he could see you, your eyes finally adjusted to the darkness. He was a vision even coated by the darkness of the night. You’d never been particularly fond of elves. You had always found them to be far too prim and proper for your rough lifestyle. But Legolas defied all your expectations by being exactly what you hadn’t expected him to be.
He let out a sigh knowing you weren’t going to say anything further, “Will you try to sleep?”
But you shook your head, “No. It just frustrates me. Laying there, listening to the rest of them snore away.”
The elf next to you contemplated something for a few moments before finally saying something, “Go grab your bedroll.”
“What?” That was the last thing you expected him to say.
“You will sleep here.” He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
There weren’t many excuses you could make as you just shook your head in disagreement, “I cannot do that…”
“Why not? I will help you sleep.” He stood from his spot offering a hand out for you to take. With slight hesitation you let him pull you up from your seated position on the base of the tree with a small pull.
“I do not wish to burden you with such small problems. We have much larger problems at hand is all.” You spoke out your final fear. Why should he care? All of middle earth was relying on your group to make it to Mordor to get rid of the ring. What was a little lack of sleep when orcs and evil could be ruling the world if they were unsuccessful.
His head snapped to yours with nothing but concern. An emotion he’d been wearing as he looked over you as of late, “You are not a burden. You are never a burden. It is a burden to see you not sleep. It is a burden to see you so weak when you are so strong. It is a burden that you have not come to me sooner mellon nin. Go get your bedroll and bring it here. I will help you sleep.”
Snapping your mouth shut you simply nodded to him, “I will be back momentarily.” Walking with haste you walked like a dog that had been kicked by its owner. Legolas had never been so outright with you before. You are never a burden… what had he meant of that?
When you had gotten back to him, very momentarily, he had already cleared out a space for you to sleep. Without saying much more you got into your bedroll knowing that sleep would be hard to come by, even away from the snoring of the males. Even getting all your fears out into the world you still knew sleep would never befall you.
“Close your eyes.” Legolas sat next to you being sure to keep his senses heightened as he helped you.
But before you did you needed to know one thing, “Legolas?”
“Yes?”
You turned your head towards him, “What did you mean I will never be a burden?”
He smiled a touch at your unusual vulnerability peeking through, “Exactly that mellon nin.” He began to brush through your knotted hair gently. His mother did this so many times when he was young to provide a sense of comfort. With the utmost gentleness he brushed out the knots from the long days of travel and lack of being able to wash, “I care for you very deeply, you know that. You are never a burden. You are my…” He paused wanting to say more but knowing it was not the right time. He was trying to get you to sleep not confess is true feelings, “friend. And I care for you. We care for you. We need you to care for yourself now.”
You hummed knowing he was right, “Okay. But… I am scared. Sleeping brings the terrors I cannot hide behind any longer.”
He shook his head continuing to stroke your hair, “I will fight them away. Fear not. Close your eyes. Trust me.”
You nodded closing your eyes beneath his gentle touch. Even as stubborn as you were his soft touch through your hair was already lulling you into a state you hadn’t seen in nearly three weeks. His tender touch was almost enough to lull you into a hopefully dreamless sleep. When he started softly humming a tune you’d so rarely heard you knew sleep would overcome you shortly.
“Thank you Legolas.” You mumbled unsure if the words were even coherent in your sleepy state.
“I will be here you when you wake, mellon nin.” He continued humming and brushing through your hair even after your breathes evened out letting the ellon know you were finally asleep. He continued to have his touch on you throughout the night knowing it was what your needed to feel safe.
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When your eyes were hit with the sun the next morning Legolas had kept true to his word. He was sitting beside you with his eyes on your waking form. You’d have been more embarrassed by his eyes on had he not spoken up before you could.
“How did you sleep?”
Scooting to sit up next to him you gave him a quick nod, “Very well. I do not believe I woke up once. I feel… good.” Giving him a smile that he had so rarely seen form you as of late he grinned in return to yours.
“Good. We will do this again tonight.” He stood offering his hand to yours.
You took his hand once again relishing in the closeness the two of you were having so ardently over the last few hours, “You must sleep too.”
“Do not worry about me. I have had plenty. With you taking every watch as of late I have been able to rest.” He smirked knowing you wouldn’t have a good enough comeback for that one.
“If you insist…” You wanted to give him an out. He didn’t need to care for you. To watch over you. He had other, much more important, things to worry about.
“I do.”
Deciding it best to pack up you just looked to him after, “All right then. We will do this again tonight.”
He nodded with a small smile playing on his lips, “I have forgotten how agreeable you are once you have slept my lady.”
Your mouth dropped open at that backhanded compliment that came so naturally to your elven friends, “I am not that bad.”
He shook his head mindlessly placing his hand on your back guiding you back to camp as you were distracted by him, “Just less stubborn is all.” His grin only widened seeing you crinkle your nose up trying to come up with a comeback but coming up short.
“You test my patience elf.” You spoke with a hint of sarcasm coming from within. As much as he tested you, you needed him far more than you could imagine. He’d become somebody to lean and rely on. Somebody who could be there for you when it was so often the other way around. He promised you’d never be a burden to him.
He laughed that beautiful sound that made your heart race, “And you mine. But, I would have it no other way.” You shut your mouth as the two of you made your way to camp where the eight of them were sitting, waiting on the two of you. He must’ve let you sleep longer than normal because they were all awake and ready to go. But seemingly unfazed by your appearance with the elf. He must’ve done or said something. Making true to his word. You would never be a burden.
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bagopucks · 1 year
Text
J. Hughes - Late Night Drives
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✄————————————
Jack Hughes x Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
Warning(s): none? Jack getting a little ‘worked up.’
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“Cole get your ass out of my face!” I peeked into the back seat, met with the sight of Cole’s legs and Trevor trying to push him aside. When Quinn suggested we do a side-by-side ride, I assumed it would be a peaceful drive on back roads. The boys’ excited reactions seemed to portray something completely different. Jack was in the drivers seat, turning the vehicle on while Quinn, Trevor, and Luke scrunched themselves up in the back, and Cole found a place to stand beside Trevor. The side-by-side had an open roof, and he was the only one short enough not to fly out if he stood. Despite the fact that it was unsafe, nobody stopped him.
The boys at the lake house.. they were completely different. Still sweet and lovable, but god they were handfuls.
The sun was setting, so Jack flipped the headlights on simply for safety.
“Ready, babe?” Stupidly, I nodded, un-expecting of my fate. I heard the familiar ding of a Bluetooth connector. Jack reached upwards to press something, then blaring rock music overtook the atmosphere. My whole body tensed.
Jack was a good driver. A responsible driver. Apparently not at the lake house. What happens at the lake house stays at the lake house. Dangerous or not. He ripped out of that driveway faster than a snake could strike, throwing up the gravel from the end of the drive as he pulled out onto the road. I heard Cole let out a shout, his excitement bringing a smile to my lips despite the tension.
Jack flew through potholes, ignored speed limit signs, barely touched the break on turns- I finally understood why they called him Rowdy. I also understood why Quinn’s natural older sibling instinct took a sideline when it came to who drove the side-by-side. Because Jack, as reckless as he was, did it best.
My anxiety calmed through the excited shouts from the boys in the back seat, and the big smile on Jack’s face. He stretched his arm out to me, and I slipped across the seat to lean into his side. He draped his arm over my shoulders while the other gripped the wheel tightly.
Everything was loud. The music, the engine, the wind. It made the environment all the more thrilling. Especially the way Jack’s eyes would leave the road for a split second to peek at me.
Things went well until he hit a particularly deep hole. The whole vehicle jolted, and I spotted Cole immediately finding a seat in Trevor’s lap. My own hand had come to grip Jack’s thigh, but he merely barked out a laugh at the nerves, as did Quinn and Luke.
“You can’t sit there!” Trevor shouted over the roar of the engine.
“What?” Cole shouted right back. Jack and I both laughed.
“Never mind!” Trevor leaned back, brow raising in mock frustration when Cole maneuvered himself to sit sideways, draping his legs over the laps of Quinn and Luke. Luke Laughed, but Quinn -sitting in the middle of the back- rested his arms on top of Cole’s legs, probably to provide some type of security. If not to Cole, then at least to himself.
The familiar piano tune roared over the speakers, a song that became popular in the previous summer. Soon I had five boys singing, “Great Balls Of Fire” in my ear, and I couldn’t help but sing with them. I glanced in the rear view to see Cole leaned back so far, his head was hanging upside down outside of the side-by-side. Despite that, I could still hear his raspy laughter, mixed in with Trevor’s asthmatic giggles. Jack flew around a turn, and my body leaned away from his. It was only a matter of time before he pulled me back into his side. Luke leaned forward, peeking his head into the front seat on the side opposite of Jack, and I closed my eyes in preparation for his shouting.
“Jacky!” Luke called.
“What’s up?”
“Let’s stop at the pond!”
“The what?”
“The pond!” Apparently, Luke waited too long to mention said destination, because the next thing I knew, Jack was breaking hard and making a sharp turn off the road and onto a trail. Everybody started yelling. None particularly worried, simply having a good time. My hand gripped Jack’s thigh impossibly hard.
“You’re turning me on!” Jack complained as he tried swatting my hand away.
“What?”
“You’re turning me on!” Jack repeated, loud enough that our company could hear.
“Dude that’s nasty!” Luke reached past me to gently push his brother’s head, before leaning back in his seat.
“Fuckin’ gross!” Cole shouted in agreement with the youngest Hughes, lifting his head back into the vehicle only long enough to voice his distaste for the conversation Jack and I were trying to have. But when he leaned it back out, he was startled by the branch that almost smacked him in the face, so he decided to keep his head inside the side by side.
Jack hadn’t slowed the whole drive through the woods. Not until we made it to this pond. He stopped the side-by-side and let the boys out, the four of them running off toward the water. I saw a shoe fly, another follow, some kicked off in the grass. A few shirts were removed, but the shorts remained on. Jack smiled at me, grateful for the moment of privacy as he shut the side-by-side off.
“Good drive?”
“There were a few moments I thought I was gonna die.” I responded casually, earning a laugh from him. Jack leaned forward and pressed his lips to my own. I raised my hand to cup his cheek.
“Love ya,” I whispered against his lips before he pulled away.
“I love you too.” Jack opened his door and climbed out, offering his hand to me. I quickly took it and slipped out his side, letting the door swing shut behind myself. I could hear the faint laughter of the boys in the water, splashing each other and shouting random trash talk. I turned just in time to see Quinn take his younger brother down in the water. Jack and I laughed while we slipped our shoes and socks off. His shirt followed, mine did not.
“Come on, Rowdy!” Trevor called, and Jack quickly slipped from my side to run down the bank and into the water. The air wasn’t particularly cold. It was a warm evening. I didn’t mind joining them in the pond, but I certainly didn’t want to get near as wet as the five boys were. I cautiously approached the pond and dipped my feet into the water. A bit chilly, but refreshing. Jack’s giggly laughter was contagious, and I found myself laughing quietly at him as he stomped through the water to get to Quinn. The two brothers got into quite the wrestling match before they both went tumbling into the water. I hugged myself as I stood there, shaking my head in disbelief. Jack was the first to emerge. We made eye contact, and he started in my direction before a hand got ahold of his ankle and pulled him back into the water. Quinn and Luke turned toward me, mischievous smiles on their lips as soon as they started running. I gasped. They were after me.
“Run!” Jack shouted when he came back out of the water, his hair a hot mess in his face, and I heard him gag. No doubt on the taste of pond water.
It was too late, by the time I got one foot out of the water, Luke had me in his grasp. I broke into a fit of laughter as he tossed me over his shoulder and lugged me deeper into the pond.
“Cole! Help me!” I demanded, but Cole and Trevor were too busy laughing at me. The second Luke deemed it deep enough, he dropped me. I gasped for air before I hit the water, mentally cursing Quinn and the sound of his triumphant laughter mixed with Luke’s.
My back came into gentle contact with the bottom of the pond, and I was quick to surface, rising to my feet and drawing in a breath full of hair. I coughed a few times before two gentle hands parted the curtains of hair in front of my face. Jack.
“You good baby?” I smiled and laughed softly. His hair always looked curlier when it was wet. Like a poodle.
“I’m great, Jacky. Thanks.” I dipped my hand into the water and splashed him. Jack laughed and pulled his hands away from me to shield himself. Quinn and Luke were busy going after Cole and Trevor while Jack and I threw water at each other.
When the excitement died down, and the adrenalin finally stopped rushing, we found ourselves all laid out on the bank. Cole was on his side, Trevor beside him on his stomach. Luke was on his back next to Quinn. Jack and I were sitting up on the bank, cuddled up together to try and stay warm.
“To think, you were gonna skip out on a side-by-side ride.” Jack softly teased.
“I know, Rowdy. I would have missed out on about five near death experiences, and the swim of a lifetime.”
“You didn’t almost die.” Jack disagreed, shaking his head.
“Cole almost did when that branch almost whacked him in the face.” My soft joke caused quiet giggles to fall from our lips.
“Can’t believe I gotta get back in that thing with you.” I mumbled.
“The drives back are always more peaceful. I let Quinn drive.. since he drives like a mother.” I smirked and glanced toward Quinn, who flipped Jack the bird.
Jack hadn’t been wrong. I sat in the back with him, along with Trevor and Cole once again. Jack sat in the middle, and I on one side with Trevor on the other. Cole went back to using everybody as a mattress.
Luke sat upfront with Quinn, who turned the stereo down and practically off to listen for oncoming traffic in the darkness of the night. Quinn truly did drive like a mother. Slow and controlled enough to lull Jack to sleep before I followed soon after, amused in my dazed stupor by the way Luke’s head hung forward in the front seat. He must have passed out before anybody else. I was thankful the engine of the side-by-side was louder than the collective snores of the group, but nestled into Jack’s side, it all sounded like faint background noise nonetheless. I was comfortable and secure in his arms.
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