DOODLE DUMPPPPP!!!!!!!!

my mind is racing after watching across the spider-verse, that was the best movie I've seen all year, probably in a while actually

and yes miguel o'hara, goddamn

Finally sat down to watch Once Upon A Studio.

My Disney loving hearts sobbing!

Thank you for 100 years of magic!!!

please give me a passionate ramble about [spins roulette wheel] the antagonist you relate to the most

Holy shit friend this is an INCREDIBLE question and SURPRISINGLY I /DON'T/ HAVE A RAMBLE ALREADY LOCKED AND LOADED???

So I'm thinking abt this, and it's difficult, and I'll inevitably change my mind and come back to it, but at least off the cuff, my fave antagonists fall into one of three categories, but really only one of those categories I would say I "relate to". Also I'm using antagonist in the most literal sense of opposing the protagonist (even if they switch sides later) and not strictly as villain or bad guy.

There's camp antagonists (often but not always queer coded) that are just entirely FUN and a delight to experience. Eg. Team rocket, dr drakken from kim possible, tons of Disney villains, dr doofenshmirtz, etc. Theyre a blast and I love them

There's unabashedly evil and/or rancid antagonists or pseudo antagonists like ianthe tridentarius, lestat, and mairon/Sauron and I love love love them and I enjoy these types of characters a lot but I wouldn't say I /relate/ to them.

And then there's the woobified antagonist which is the type I DO relate to because I'm a villain apologist AND a redemption for all truther and I want to believe people are mostly good and even people who do bad things do it out of (misguided) good reasons and everyone has the potential for growth. So in this group there's a lot of traumatized kids who aren't REALLY antagonist or villains with a redemption arc. Eg. zuko, jason todd, essek theyless, cullen rutherford, the feanorians, l*tor from v*ltron, literally every single child soldier in snk, scar from fma, etc etc etc. You see where I'm going with this.

Out of all of these I'd say Essek and Cullen are the ones I relate to most. I excluded Jason and Zuko bc really they're just traumatized kids. Essek starts out as a villain because he feels an outcast, he's got that gifted kid pride, he feels so alienated from his faith, he's ambitious but in non traditional ways, he's lonely. I get that. I get that SO bad. I would do terrible things for knowledge and a sense of intellectual superiority and yeah I hate that about myself.

Cullen is more difficult, I'd argue he's straight up an antagonist in da2 ("mages aren't people like you and me") and while he tries to atone in Dai he still WAS a horrible person. And I GET THAT and I know fans love to hate him and that's fine but I also know what trauma and mental illness and isolation do to you, and when you're lonely and insecure and have no real supports you turn to the faith of your childhood and the one thing that gives you solace and you dive headfirst into that. Even if it was a key factor in traumatizing you in the first place you cling to it like a rock and become more and more severe with your beliefs, twisting it and manipulating it out of a sense of self righteousness. And you ignore all the warning signs along the way because it's the only comfort you have. So like. Yeah. I get using callous religious extremism masking as devoutness. It's why Cullen is one of my favourite characters. It's not because I think he deserves to be forgiven. But he deserves a chance to atone. To do better. *I* deserve that chance. I have to believe it.

This was a delicious question. Truly I'm such a villain apologist and it's partially bc I'm so soft hearted and partially because I genuinely am such a hopeful little universalist and I want and hope that everyone has the chance and the opportunity and the love to grow and become better and do better. It's not about deserving forgiveness. It's just about trying to be good. Even if your good is only marginally better than yesterday. Idk. It's the core theme of my life maybe, and why I'm so attached to antagonists and villains. Thinking abt this question I struggled to come up with examples because so many of my favourite pieces of art the antagonist is either the protag vs fate, the divine, themselves, or else it's like The Man or society as a whole, it's against the nature of human greed and selfishness, so rarely is the antagonist just Some Guy, without that guy being emblematic of wider systemic issues. And I think I like that, I like that most of the evil in the world doesn't boil down to individuals, that most individual people aren't terrible. I like that. Or I like to believe it. Idk

(I guess I DID have a ramble locked and loaded it just wasn't directly answering the question 😅)

Doing tofu experiments recently and used smoked tofu for this sauce!

How funny is it on a scale of 1 to 10?

(About the movie Bottoms) Like maybe a 9? Easily one of the funniest movies I’ve seen this year and definitely the funniest of 2023 that I’ve seen. It’s camp and absurd. It might not hit for everyone but if you can accept it exists in its own teen movie world with problematic hilarious characters and raunchy worldbuilding, it’s great. Like I’d put it up there with my favorite teen dark comedies like Heathers. Very different though, it does its own thing, which I feel is kinda rare, especially with teen-ish movies. (There actually was a long discussion on my blog a few weeks ago about lack of good teen comedies—not dramatic/dramedy coming of age stories—and I think this is the first one in a while to fit the bill to a tee.)

I will say, be sure to go in as blind as possible. I saw the trailer but didn’t read any reviews and that was perfectly fine. I was genuinely in awe. Again like any comedy or movie for that matter, I’m sure it’s not for everyone. But I do recommend it, especially if you like dark comedies.

Lewis Capaldi, Prague 17.2.2023

Harry Styles Love on Tour June 26th 2022 Hamburg, Germany

My Body, My Choice 💚

Arugula, grilled peaches, prosciutto and burrata.

Naarm/Melbourne, Australia (19/11/2023)- the Starbucks and the McDonald’s on Swanston Street are both completely closed.

Tofu sushi bowl

born to be a mediocre gamer forced to participate in society

few clips ive gathered of astarion being worried/protective

some stuff from a Dungeon Meshi themed figure drawing session with Zeetstudio!! super fun stuff :3

Time… Time is a funny thing. The past… the future… It all gets mixed up. There's only one way to keep it straight. Always remember who you are.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024)

Bestie who studies out of town is here and we made brunch!!!