#this took a lot longer than i was expecting
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like she used to (IV)
alexia putellas x sister chapter I, II, III
sorry this took longer! have been very busy with work and uni for the past few days :)
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Aitana has been suspicious of something all week. I feel her eyes on me during training, when we're in the locker room, as she drives me home and as I walk up to my front door.
But she doesn't say anything and I am grateful. Because if she did say something, I don't think I would be able to answer without telling her every single thing on my mind.
Nobody wants that. Not me, not Aitana. Probably not Alexia either.
So instead, I sit in the midfielder's car quietly, only speaking when she prompts me to, although even that has slowed down over the past few days. She was confused the first time I told her I didn't want to stop for ice cream, and I was grateful that she didn't ask again.
"you're sure? You've never refused ice cream before, lena!"
All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead.
I get home and I go straight to my room which is easy enough, considering Mami comes home from work late. I am supposed to be going to school, but Aitana doesn't know that and Mami doesn't know any different. She thinks I am there, and as long as I pick up the phone to my personal tutor in the evening, the school won't bother contacting my mother.
I shouldn't be skipping school, but I can't face going there and being asked all those questions about how great it is to be training in the first team, to finally have broken through into a squad that I would hopefully play with for most of my career.
But it isn't great, not really. My life has become a game of hide and seek, escaping rooms that my sister enters, too afraid to even face her.
I am not scared of her, more of what she will say. I am barely coping as it is and anything she says will just make it worse. It is best to just leave her alone, keep my distance.
And I think she thinks the same. She said she was going to take a step back, after all.
Not that is has been any different from before she took that step back. Her back was already against the wall, on the other side of the room from me. Any further and she would leave my life completely which does not seem possible, considering we play for the same club.
But I wish she wasn't so far away, I wish that I could just reach out and grab her attention, for her to know that I needed help without even having to ask.
And it hurts me, more than I'd like to admit, that her friends know exactly how to make me feel better, to make me feel valued, worthy. But she is just there, like a fly on the wall, always watching but never doing anything.
Even the more clueless ones have started to realise that things are not perfect between me and Alexia. We are never in the same room together, I leave training with Aitana every day. It is obvious, we all know it.
So they don't push us together. They don't talk about Alexia to me and they don't ask why we don't drive home together, why she isn't the first person to give me a hug if I score in training.
They don't want me to be compared to her any more than I already have been.
Because on top of all the personal issues, there is a lot of pressure, being her sister.
'Will Elena Putellas follow in her sister's footsteps?'
'The younger Putellas - set to be better than Alexia Putellas, but still hasn't come off the Barcelona bench.'
I've seen the articles, of course I have. Nobody ever mentions it though, nobody mentions the pressure I am under, the pressure I feel to live up to the expectations.
Of course I will not score as many goals as her, of course I will not make a debut at the end of the match like a midfielder often does. It is a lot harder for a centre back to come on as a last minute sub. It is harder for a centre back to score so many goals.
There are feasible reasons why they are saying these things, but none of the news sites think to explore those reasons, exclusively focusing on the negatives.
I don't bring it up because I think that if I mention something even slightly about my emotions, every single thing I feel will all come rushing out, a tsunami wave that will destroy everything I have worked towards.
I have to be strong; I can't let a little bit of pressure overcome me. Alexia had pressure, and she was never swallowed by it.
Alexia was not weak. I can not be weak.
But it feels like the tide has been pulled back, brewing in the deep dark depths of the ocean, preparing to build and build and build until it all becomes too much, until it is here, a huge wave ready to swallow me. Too late to escape, too late to stop it.
But quelling the wave does not seem like something I can do.
The only thing I can do about it is play my piano.
It is thing I am most grateful for, my piano that brings me closer to my father, the one thing I have that nobody else does.
I may not have his memories, but I don't think any memories could match the connection I feel, just sitting on his stool, my fingers dancing on the keys that his hands once graced, the keys that we used to play together.
It was the one thing that we shared, just the two of us. Something that neither of my sisters or my Mami could understand. All they know is to leave me be when I am playing the piano. I don't want to be interrupted and they don't want to face the wrath of my anger if I am stopped before I am finished.
Because it is the only way I can express my emotions and the emotions do not stop coming until the song is finished, until there is a puddle of tears in my lap, fed by the streams that track down my cheeks.
So they leave me be. I want them to leave me with my emotions when I play the piano. But they also leave me with my emotions when I sit in the lounge room, staring at a blank tv screen, staring out the window at just about nothing in particular. I wish they would realise that I don't always want to be left with my emotions.
I wish they could notice that something may be wrong, something more than just the loss of my sister.
Because it feels like more than that. I have never felt so lost in my life.
There is just so much going through my mind at any one time and I can't let it out because once I start I will not be able to stop until my walls have burst and I am nothing but an empty shell of who I was before.
Everything I once was is gone.
Replaced by confusion, hurt, sadness.
And I don't know why, because Alexia isn't all of me, football isn't all of me.
I know it shouldn't be but it feels like it is and even though Alba is right there as well, and Mami and my friends from La Masia, all I can think of is the fact that my older sister doesn't want to be my older sister any more.
And I can't stop thinking about what it could be like, if it was still what it used to be.
~~~~~~
I spend another two weeks wallowing in my confusingly overwhelming emotions before Mapi decides to intervene, intercepting me as I walk towards Aitana after training once again.
"No, you are coming with me today, pequena!"
I didn't even realise Mapi was here, her rehab finishes at the same time as Alexia, an hour before training ends.
She beams and throws her arm over my shoulder, ignoring my disgruntled expression.
"I will see you tomorrow, ABC." I murmer softly, but both Spaniards can hear it.
They both think I am too short to see the concerned look they throw at each other, but I notice it. I notice everything.
Mapi guides me out of the facilities and into her car and I can feel her concern grow as she inspects me from the drivers seat.
"You are not ok, Elena."
Her words are soft but understanding. It surprises me how she could just pick it up like that, I thought it was less obvious.
I thought it was less obvious because nobody has brought it up to me before.
I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything without crying, although at this point it feels inevitable.
"That's ok. It's ok to not be ok, you know?"
I nod and she continues.
"When you came over the other week, I told you to talk to someone, but I don't think you have, have you?"
I continue my vow of silence by shaking my head, my eyes concentrated on how my hands shake and fidget in my lap.
I am too concentrated on my hands to realise that my eyes have filled with tears, to realise that the first one has slipped out. I only notice when the fat tear lands with a splat on my thumb and I stare at it, my mind full of confusion and unfamiliarity.
I don't understand how I feel, because I feel sad, and angry. They are normal emotions, ones that I have always felt, just usually in a less aggressive and persistent way.
But I feel so... lost, isolated. I feel alone and that is something I am not familiar with, not at all. Usually, I would talk to Alexia about my anger and sadness, but this has been going on for so long, slowly chipping away at my self-confidence, at my happiness. Now all I can feel is the loss of someone. Someone so important.
I may be dramatic, but how else would I describe it? She decided she was too busy and threw me away, a piece of rubbish. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that it's all I am to Alexia?
We used to be so strong as a family, we were always there for each other, nobody left behind. But I can't help but feel like I have been, just a bit.
Mami and Alba love me, Mami and Alba are proud of me. But Mami gets home after I go to bed and Alba has her own life, her own friends. She doesn't need to be pulled back by her little sister who has lost the ability to deal with her own emotions.
It would not be fair for me to pile my problems with Alexia onto Alba. It would not be fair to make her pick a side.
Alexia could be the person that helps me. We have similar schedules, interests, personalities. She knew me like the back of her hand and I knew her equally as well. But I don't think I have ever felt so disconnected from her.
Mapi snaps me out of my daydreaming when she speaks again.
"It is not healthy to keep everything inside of you, pequena, so we are going to the beach and we are talking. I am going to force it out of you because I miss my bright little best friend."
She reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, awkwardly pulling me into a hug.
"Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok, Elena Putellas, because you have me."
I nod, leaning back into my chair and using my palms to wipe my eyes as Mapi turns the car on and begins to drive out of the carpark.
"Thank you, Mapi." It is a whisper, but she hears me loud and clear, offering me a watery smile before focusing her attention right back onto the road ahead.
The car is quiet as we drive to the beach, Mapi just humming along to her song.
Mapi has always been a big talker. She always says she finds silences uncomfortable and sometimes even slightly overwhelming, so she talks. She talks and talks at a speed that makes it practically impossible to register what she is saying, and the inability to comprehend her spoken thoughts is only heightened by the way she jumps from topic to topic, her voice only increasing in speed and excitement as she gets more and more carried away.
But she is Mapi, and Mapi always talks, so I got used to it, finding her chattiness endearing, she was fun, always happy.
Which is why it is so meaningful when she isn't speaking, like she knows that her words are fruitless and likely not particularly tasteful - they won't be received well.
She is silent as we walk down to the beach and as she lays her rug and pillows out, sitting down and motioning for me to sit down next to her.
She is quiet for a few moments, like she is debating within herself on what she should say and when she should say it, captivated by the way he waves crash onto the sand cyclically, the beaming rays of sun showering the crystal water, the first indicators of the imminent sunset.
When she speaks, it is slow and it is quiet. Her words hug me in a way that has been missed for so long, and I immediately soften; she would have noticed my shoulders relaxing underneath her arm.
"I remember when I first met you." Her eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on her face. "It was before I even joined Barcelona, at my third camp with Spain. I had heard about you before, from Alexia, I knew so much about you from how much she would gush about everything you did every time I spoke to her. In person, over text, she was obsessed with you and sometimes I didn't understand why it seemed like all she spoke about was her little 5 year old sister."
She chuckles, but I stay silent, still staring out at the ocean.
"But then I met you and I immediately understood why she wouldn't stop talking about you. You radiated this happiness, like a little sunbeam. Alexia got you from the barricade after a match, it was only my second ever appearance, but Alexia brought you right over to me and introduced us. You grabbed onto my leg and held it, almost yelling about how cool it was that there was another player to meet."
I smile. I have never heard this story before.
"And then the next time, you recognised me and I was so surprised, so happy. But you were also happy, Elena, you always were smiling, laughing. You would hang from your sisters shoulders and whack her on the back, swinging around in her arms and laughing so loudly that we could hear you from the other side of the pitch. You were always like that, every time I saw you. I found myself looking forward to spain camps even more, because I got to see little Elena Putellas with her big smile and cheeky personality. But recently, I think you have lost a bit of your spark because you do not seem as happy. You seem miserable, lena, and I want to help you find that spark again because I promise, it is not gone forever. It has just been buried so deep by all these emotions that are so big and overwhelming and you can't even find who you are anymore."
Her words strike a cord, and I find that my eyes fill with tears once more, but I do everything I do to hold them back as I speak. There is a long moment of silence as we both look out at the waves before I break it with a quiet inhalation.
"I am so scared, Mapi." My voice breaks but I continue anyway. "I don't know who I am anymore and it is so scary. I don't know what happened or where I went but one day I woke up and I was just a miserable shell of the person I was and I don't know what to do."
She is quick to pull me into a hug as the tears start falling because we both know that once I let out the first cry, I will not be able to stop. Her soft hands through my hair and calm words that flow through the small space we occupy will do nothing to calm the turmoil I am feeling on the inside.
Thinking about it only makes it worse, like I am shaking everything up so it rises to the surface instead of letting it lay undisturbed deep inside of me.
But Mapi's words were like stepping into a turbulent plane, shaking uncontrollably, fear falling over me and triggering emotions that I didn't even realise I had inside of me. The dirt hazes up the water until everything is a big whirlwind of confusion. Emotions moving around to quickly to capture them and try to understand them.
The things I want caught up in the whirlwind of unwelcome mess, the whirlwind that I can't seem to get myself out of.
The injured centre back whispers calm words of affirmation into my ear for a while, her hand stroking up and down my back. It keeps me down to earth, does not let me fall into the trap of a million emotions.
"We will find who you are again, Elena. I will always be here to help you. I am right here."
I want to tell her that I want my sisters to be there to help me. I want Alexia to come back and I want Alba to realise that there is something wrong. But neither of them were there like Mapi is. Alba has tried to be there for me, but she doesn't get it because I don't know what to say.
But all I do is cry in her arms. The sobs soften into quiet whimpers as the sun sets, casting a yellow glow over the beach, but we stay there even as the air becomes cooler and the sky becomes darker.
Mapi decides that I will not be going home that night, not trusting me to take proper care of herself and instead taking me back to her apartment again.
Ingrid is there this time, and she looks at her girlfriend with concern when we walk in, immediately noticing my red face and puffy eyes.
"Hey, Elena." She smiled at me, but I was preoccupied by the little black cat that had begun to circle my legs.
"We had a chat on the beach and decided that because her Mami isn't home, she would stay here the night again."
I picked up Bagheera, tickling under her chin as I sat down on the sofa, trying to ignore the wary glances that were being sent in my direction by the Spaniard and Norwegian.
"I don't know what to do."
Mapi's words were hushed, and by the way she immediately spoke more quietly when she saw my head whip towards them, it is clear that they were not for my ears.
But as I fiddle with Bagheera's fur, I dissect her words. More than I should and definitely more than she wants me to.
She doesn't know what to do with me. She doesn't know how to help, how to fix what has been broken.
She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alexia because it would break my trust. Because telling Alexia could just make it all so much worse.
I think I have been holding onto hope that she really is that clueless and is trying to do what she thinks is best for me. I try to hope that is the reason this has all happened, and not because she simply has forgotten about me, or because she doesn't want to be responsible for me any more.
But honestly, I think it is a mix of all of that. And I think it has evolved from guilt, not watching my games, wanting to avoid the awkward conversations that could have arisen if she had apologised to me.
I wish she knew that an apology would make all the difference. A sincere one, from her heart.
Unprovoked. Just her, being truly apologetic.
Because as humiliating as it is, I would do anything to be back in her arms. I would do anything to have my older sister back, I wish that she would just do something that would make this all go away, to pick up the pieces of my shattered insides and stitch them back together. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, I would forget all about them and I would be able to function normally again.
But Alexia is not a surgeon, and she would not be able to do that stitching seamlessly. She would use glue, but even that won't put it all back together so perfectly.
There is no way for her to just put it back together and pretend it never happened, to move on like this was just a blip. Because I am different now, I have grown. She has missed so much of my early teenage years - the years that I have most needed her help.
But I am not even sure that Alexia wants that any more; I don't know if she wants to fix this all up and move on.
The dinner table is quiet as I pick at my meal, Mapi encouraging me to eat more than a few bites, claiming she won't leave until my plate has been cleaned up.
Ingrid doesn't utter a single word, instead her green eyes piercing through my skin. I feel exposed to Ingrid, as if she can read everything, understand everything, just from one simple glance.
It is ridiculous, but she is deep in thought so I don't say anything to her either.
It is only when Mapi opens her mouth again that Ingrid's eyes flick over to her girlfriend.
"Does Alba know you feel like this? Or your Mami?"
It is a simple question, but strikes a chord.
No, neither of them know. Neither of them have even noticed a change.
I shake my head roughly, and Ingrid releases a scoff.
I look up, offended.
"What?"
She turns her head to me, confused, so I continue.
"It is not my fault! It is not easy to talk about these things."
"No, no. Elena, that was not directed at you."
She seems apologetic so I have to believe her. I push my chair back, attempting to leave the room with a clutter, cursing my misty eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day.
But me exit is not as seamless as I would have liked, and Mapi is standing right in front of me when I get up, wrapping her arms around me.
It is supposed to be to trap me, but Mapi's arms will never not be a comfort.
I immediately relax into her grip, sighing softly.
"I am so confused."
~~~~~~
Mapi's hands were running through my hair, my lap on the sofa as the tv played that evening. It had been an hour since dinner and the three of us had moved into the lounge room, the silence being filled by the Spanish show on the screen.
But there was a knock on the door and Ingrid sighed, standing up to open it, knowing that neither Mapi or I would get up.
It was both surprising and unsurprising to see Aitana standing there, her hair messy and over of her face, as if she had just been in bed.
"Is Mapi still awake?"
She didn't bother to greet Ingrid, clearly here for a reason. Why else would she have arrived at almost 11 at night.
I couldn't hear Ingrid's response, but I could hear Mapi speaking to me.
"She's worried about you too, Elena. You-"
I love Aitana, I always have.
"I know she is, she is terrible at hiding it. But she has avoided bringing it up. If she wanted me to talk to her I would try my best to, but she hasn't."
Again, I love Aitana and I know she has my best interests at heart. She knows I need to talk about everything to someone, but she also knows that I don't want to. She doesn't want to push even though I can tell she is worried. She is stressed.
Ingrid and Aitana enter as soon as I finish speaking, the Spaniard almost running to where I am lying, placing her hand on my cheek.
"You have been crying."
It is blunt, a bit surprising. I don't really know what to expect from Aitana, she has always been the light hearted one who never would shy from telling me how great I was, but we have never really spoken about melancholy emotions like these.
I suppose there has never really been a need to in the past, that is what Alexia and Alba were for.
She sits down on the floor in front of my face, her knees up to her chest as she stares at me, intensity in her eyes. It is not unlike the intensity she often displays on the pitch, motivated and passionate.
"I will help you." She is decisive. "We will fix this."
I nod softly and she runs her hand down my cheek.
"You are too young to be feeling like this, little Lena. I am sorry I let it get this far."
I look at her in confusion and she pauses before continuing.
"I knew something was wrong. I went to your games at La Masia."
I can tell Mapi is listening closer now.
"I know she didn't go to any."
Mapi gasps, quite loudly, and Aitana gives her a frustrated look, rolling her eyes softly.
"I should have said something to her. She doesn't realise how important you are, how lucky she is to have you."
I frown at her words.
"Lucky?"
It hasn't something I'd ever considered my sisters to be, having to look after a small child for most of their adolescence. Having to please me for so long.
"I used to dream of having a baby sister like you, she is lucky."
Mapi decides it is her turn to add something to the conversation.
"She loves you, Elena, she always has. Of course she thought she was lucky. She needed someone to help her pick on Alba."
There is suddenly a lump in my throat. I think it is the mention of the before that triggered it. The memories are too hard to handle, I usually avoid them at all costs.
My eyes become wet again, apparently, but Aitana just laughs softly.
"You two were just so mean to her, the poor thing."
Mapi lets out a chuckle from above me as well, and I find my mouth turning upwards into a smile.
"I probably should apologise now, shouldn't I?"
Aitana shakes her head, not able to hold back her laughs and Mapi is the same from where I can not see her.
It is when I finally laughed that I feel Mapi soften beneath me and see Aitana exhale a soft sigh of relief. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I notice everything.
"We will fix this, ok?" Aitana was somewhat serious again, her hand patting my face. "We have a day off tomorrow, I will be here and we can all talk. We can all decide what to do next."
"Why are you two doing all this for me?"
Aitana sighs and Mapi's hands pause in my hair.
The midfielder looks above me, as if encouraging her to reply, but I speak up again before she can.
"Alexia is your captain, your teammate. She is your best friend, Mapi. Why are you doing so much for me when we are not speaking?"
There is another pause. It looks like Aitana is about to hit Mapi on the head, but the Spaniard speaks up before she can.
"Alexia has so many people behind her. Alexia is strong, she is experienced and she is older than you. You are just young, pequena and you are so lonely and lost. We want to help the both of you, but we need to help you first."
She pauses and Aitana finds the time to interject. It is like they have been talking about me.
Come to think of it, they probably have.
"You looked like you were going to burst. We knew that you and Alexia weren't speaking, that both of you were having a hard time because of it. But Elena, you looked destroyed. We couldn't leave you to your own devices any more. And Elena, we are doing this because we love you. So, so much."
"Alexia loves you too. More than us. She just does not do a great job of showing it, that's all."
I sigh softly, falling backwards into Mapi's lap, wondering just what I have done to deserve this.
How luckyI am to have my older sisters friends there looking out for me.
Because my family was falling apart and it was my fault. I couldn't do everything alone.
I choose not to think about what would happen if Mapi and Aitana weren't here like they are.
A tear slips down my face again, but this time it is not so sad. It is full of emotion, a grateful tear. Not quite happy, but not sad either.
"Thank you."
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hope you enjoyed :)
this chapter was more to gauge where elena is at, sorry if it was boring!
#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#barca femeni#fcb femení#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#mapi leon#aitana bonmati
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Made a traditional artwork of Sherlock Holmes as played by Benedict Cumberbatch in BBC's Sherlock using Faber Castell's Polychromos in the span of 33hrs!!!
Took me longer than expected and way longer than I liked, but finally, it's complete!!!
This was a lot of fun & a huge learning experience, I'm very proud of everything in this artwork, it is definitely my best work yet, it features the best I've ever drawn anything, textures, skin, hair etc. and I'm really really proud of it! The skin was very interesting to work on, due to the colors used from browns, to purples, to reds, it was a very interesting few days of drawing! I'm really proud of the shit, especially the buttons and the way the sunlight is hitting everything & I'm also very fond of how I've drawn the coat, how I drew the texture and how thick it looks!
Here's hoping the next artwork doesn't take so long!
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If you have any criticism about the artwork or an aspect you don't like, leave a comment about it, I'd love to hear it, bad or good & if you can, be sure to tell me how I can improve on the aspect you don't like or criticized about!
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Follow for more art & if you like this artwork, be sure to press the like button or double tap the image
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Materials:
@fabercastellglobal Polychromos Colored Pencils
Touch Twin Alcohol Markers
Electric Mono Eraser
@dalerrowney1783 Red and Yellow Smooth Cartridge Paper
Sakura Gelly Roll White Pen
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Time Spent: 33hrs
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Size: 16.5 x 23.4 inches
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If you want to repost my art, make sure to credit me!
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If you would like to use my art as reference, feel free!
Thank you!
#drawing#portrait#traditional drawing#traditional art#faber castell#faber castell polychromos#polychromos#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#Sherlock#sherlock fanart#sherlock art#sherlock holmes art#sherlock holmes fanart
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Oooh! Request idea for Miguel that I've been dying to see: What about a Lighthouse Au with Miguel as a sailor, and reader is a lighthouse keeper (could be fem or gender neutral, up to you!)
And we are stuck inside the lighthouse one stormy night and don't particularly like each other/are strangers but the forced proximity makes us warm up to one another 😏🤭 could be smut or fluff, whatever your preference! TY LOVE 🖤🖤🖤
Don’t chu you worry, imma make em fuck-
But also went kinda crazy with it (sorry this took so long)
Here I am
LightKeeper!Reader x Sailor!Miguel
Rating: 18+
Warnings: afab masturbation, voyeurism, PiV sex, biting, missionary, cowgirl, fingering, friends to lovers, established relationship, unprotected sex, time periods all over the place cause shut up
You turned on the mechanism which crowns the tower you called your home. A rotating pillar of white spins about the stormy evening. Breaking the seamlessly sewed together black sky and black waters into two. It’s gentle heat rushing through your back as you watched the Neuva York Sea.
Every day this bright bulb hung above your bedroom. The jewel of the 2099 coast, planted on the crawl of rocks on the north most point of the beach. Every evening; cold, hot, dry, moist, clear, or thundering. At exactly sunfall; no matter the holiday, tradition, time, or traffic. Your fingers would strangle the grip of the large switch connected to the light. By suns dip into the live dividing the sky and sea. The red tip of the pole would face down.
So the pillar of light would shift around the sky; it’s certainly a lonely job. Only ever leaving on the one bumpy road out of your home for food and water. Unable to leave for longer than two to three hours. Living in a light house loses its charm when your work is literally your entire life.
Everybody must come to you now. Your schedule rotates around when the sun goes down. Sure it’s a pretty view, but it’s all a mural of monotony after a few years. Expect once every 3 months of every year.
A certain muscular, olive skinned sailor with a big heart and grimacing bravado comes back from a shipment voyage. To spend a couple days with you, the pair of you met when he came to your door two years ago. Having nobody on the main land to visit or spend time with. He brought you pizza and asked to have dinner. Ever since he’d come with food to visit and catch up. What became a necessary encompaniment; was a beloved friend…sometimes you wished more. A lot of times you wished more.
Once the beam has flashed onto the ocean at the right angle. Unveiling for a flash USSS Neuva York, on an incoming ship right on time. You knew you had a couple hours to get ready.
A thorough shower with peony scented body wash and shampoo. Blow dry your hair and let the wind swept curls set in. As you apply natural look make up to your face. Meanwhile getting yourself in cool yet casual clothes. To put worth effort while still making it look effortless.
Even unconsciously you knew this would be more effort than it’s worth. He’s staying a few hours until he goes back to his hotel room at most. You’re his only friend that he doesn’t sail with for months on end. You’re certain it’s just the machinations of a waning crush. But after an anxious hour passes, of dutifully cleaning up your dining room and kitchen. The doorbell lets free the butterflies in your stomach. You swallow your eager awkwardness and open the door knowingly.
You see Miguel before you; his 6,1 brown gaze looking down into your eyes. As he held pizza and bread sticks in one hand. And the wings he knows you like in the other “hey stranger…” he flirts playfully.
You grin, taking the pizza and Breadsticks out for his hands as he walks inside after you.
~~two hours later~~
An empty pizza box splayed itself between you two in your dining room table. The breadsticks already gone, while your third and his second drink of whiskey you’d only bring out for these occasions dressed beside it. The gentle drumming of rain pours alongside the walls of your home. As the stone on in the inside hears the music of your laughter and chatter.
“-THEN the seagull flew away with her sunglasses!”
He almost choked with his mouth full of bacon and pepperoni pizza. Punctuating the conclusion of your story of being a witness to Seagull terrorizing a family of five. And when the bird was successfully shooed away it stole the family moms sunglasses.
As you cackled with him; your eyes shut by the strain of recalling the story. He steals a glance to take in your beautiful visage. Your smile lines gleaming towards him, half eaten pizza in hand. As your gorgeous sea wind bent locks fell down your head. These sensations he has; seeing and listening to you. Is what the beauties of the sea can never provide.
Once he managed to breath again and consume his food. Miguel retorted “oh my god..if all this pizza wasn’t killing my stomach laughing at that story just did..” you chuckled and played with your hair. Biting your lip to boot, he grinned back at you in silence for a single heartbeat.
But then you sadly fold your lips back into place, and drop both your hands to your thighs. “Guess it’s time to go now huh?…” you sighed out, the air between you grew cold as Miguel’s eyes dropped to the floor. The first breath of a question still held back by his tongue.
He squirmed to ask you something, a fact you picked up on “something on your mind?” He finished his whiskey in a split second after you prompted a response. His brain swimming in liquid courage he could finally ask.
“I was hoping to stay here tonight…if that’s okay.” You were shocked; but friends let each other crash on there couch all the time. Why would this be weird, unless your crush on him makes it weird. You’re just helping out a friend stop making it weird.
“Oh yeah! Of course you will-CAN can do that yup-“ your uneasiness doesn’t buy his confidence “if it doesn’t put you out of course.” You shook your head “No no, please it’ll be easier anyway.” He mumbled “alright alright cool, thank you…” the silence was strong enough to crack the stone walls of the tower. You stood up more suddenly than intended, announcing like a news caster “I’ll clean up and get you a blanket to sleep on the couch-“ he nodded in a wordless thank you.
The ending was always the worst of it, not just that you’d never see him for three months. Or the strong possibility one day he’d never come back at all. However the confirmation every time he’d let the light pass into your door once more. That he wouldn’t stay for you. The ocean is his love, and you envied her.
~~30 minutes later~~
Mince the dining table was cleaned, everything below Miguel’s ankle hanging off the side of the couch as he slept on it. You were perched on the last step of the stair case leading to your bed room. Peaking out to ensure your surprise guest is asleep, once you’ve confirmed he is.
You lightly tap your toes against the tops of the steps. Carefully avoiding the squeaky bored on the third one from the top. Once you shut the door behind you into your room. Sparsely decorated and on an aging mattress. You pull out your vibrator from a box underneath your bed frame. Double checking that you don’t hear a sound from downstairs.
You shut on the device, it violently wiggles in your arm making a soft vrrrrrrr.
In just your nicest bra and panties, you slip the the device right past your underwear. With the cover pulled over your chest. With every feeling, sensation, and probing of your most sensitive area that follows.
Your mind drifts to Miguel, your very skin clinging the daydream of him caressing you. Of his teeth sinking past the surface of your flesh to bite you. As his cock seathes itself inside and outside of you. Gently, and with passion.
Your fingernails tear at the seams of your bedsheets as your imagination becomes wilder. The thought of him not even using protection. Wanting all of you so much so he’d happily risk getting you pregnant to make you his. Wrestling against your tongue is the thought of his own mixing into your spit. Sweat above his brown rubbing onto your head as he begins to thrust harder into you. While cradling you close as possible, both of you equally wanting to become one.
Your curling toes collect some of your sheets as this nightly fantasy persists. And Miguel’s visage darkens your door. He himself has completely forgotten how long he’s been standing there. Looking at you masturbating under the veil of your bedcovers. Your eyes glued closed, and his movements non existent. Neither sight nor sound would give him away. His underwear grew tighter as the hottest porno he’s ever seen plays out right in front of him.
He’s brought back to reality when you moan “Miguel…please AH Miguel-“the drunken toned ramblings of the most beautiful woman he knows in heat. Partially draped by her bed covers in the lantern lit room.
A silent debate raged behind his eyes, he should go back to bed and pretend he didn’t see this. He has to be on the next ship tomorrow at five am or there goes his job. To spend another three months away from the only person who truly knows him. Who wants him as much as he wants her…but would she even want this? Like this?
“MMHF-AH AAAH-“ His erection now grew painful in between his thighs. He’d have to make a decision fast as you’ve now orgsamed with the vibrator you pretended was his dick. As you sighed with sweat gliding down your face, and your fingers likely sore from holding the device for so long. He could do so much better, he wants to be the one to make you feel good.
He wants your insides hugging his manhood, while he holds you hand and warms your body with his muscles. For those sensations; it’s better than his own bed, his own room. Worth more than any paycheck, more than a sky and ocean surface of stars.
After a few moments of letting you steady your breath. Still unaware he was standing in your doorway. He lightly knocks, with his decision made.You jolt your eyes open, leer up and hide the vibrator you know he already saw under your sheets.
“MIGUEL-um uh, how long were you standing there?” He swallows and says “Long enough, I’m in love with you….” Individually those statements would send a shockwave inside your ribcage. But together, a terrifying numbness sets in.
You can’t feel the chilly ocean air, the slippery silk of your sheets. Or the heat pooling in the middle of your hips. Everything’s still and silent, as if time has stopped everywhere. Until you know what to say.
“What?” You breathe out, he walks further into the center of your bedroom “I’m in love with you, and I will never go on any ship again if you feel the same….” Your face bends up in an infectious grin “Yes I love you, take me miguel…” he throws his shirt over his head. Brushing his hair into a mess before it collapses into the floor.
He sinks into the wooden bed frame with a loud creak as his mouth devours your own. Your tongue playfully resisting him. Moments later all clothes litter the floor, including your own bedsheets.
As he’s bottomed out inside of you, it’s the largest thing you’ve ever had in your vagina. But it’s a lovely stretch, and a squeeze you look forward to getting used to. As his hips are sliding against your own his thrusts are gentle. Room for your walls to get used to him.
His ears propped right beside your mouth, capturing every moan and pleading for more. Feeling the rush of pants on the side of his face as he continues. His muscles tenderly crush you into the mattress. Meanwhile your nails get just as close with the surface of his skin. Scratching him in ways that make him growl in ecstasy.
His left hand is in yours as well, while you sing into his ear “oh god…yes Miguel yes…don’t stop. Make me yours please…” the cock drunken melody made him go wild. But he resisted the urge to ram himself into you. Even when he knew this was the time to make love and be patient. He’s a man starved; not just for any woman. But for you, he can’t decipher how long he pleases himself with just his own hand. Desperate to mimick what you might feel around him.
With the need for imagination gone, he can’t be satiated with just a lick. He needs a mouthful, immediately he sinks his teeth into your neck. Not enough to draw blood, but surely to mark you. You cry out and before he can even apologize for his presumption. You whine out “AAH…do that again…” you’re his dream come true.
As the chemical receptors of pain in your brain are washed out by the pleasure of his mouth. You scratch your nails deeper enough to mark. Might as well make it even “Gah, naughty girl…” your noses touch your eyes study each other. He doesn’t stop thrusting yet makes the activity all the more intimate.
“What are you gonna do about it?” You tease him, he cackles as he wraps his fingers around your throat. Letting go of your hand, while placing his second one as a harness onto the headboard “Keep talking like that to me and find out bebita…”
#Miguel O’Hara x reader#Miguel x reader#18+#spiderverse#spiderverse Drabble#requested writings#requested writings from a cutie 💜#miguel ohara x reader
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HIIII CONGRATS ON 2K FOLLOWERS 🗣🗣🗣
Can I request prompt #32 with Mammon?! Where the brothers are doing their usual teasing of Mammon and it finally gets to him. He then goes to MC for comfort! Maybe cuddling involved? 👀
thank you! of course you can :)
i love a good hurt comfort with mammon
enjoy <3
prompt 32 w/ Mammon
You loved the brothers, no doubt. You’d all formed unbreakable bonds and you spent lots of time together. They loved each other too. But at the end of the day, they were demon who really did treat each other as siblings. They were downright cruel to each other at times. You understood to some degree, but you and your siblings never went that far. You would get into a loud argument, but about ten minutes later, be good friends again and give each other a helping hand. Maybe that’s how the brothers expected their relationship to be, but it felt like more times than not, they took things a little too far.
It was oddly quiet in the house. You and Lucifer were sitting in his room together. He was doing paperwork, while you tried planning the latest shenanigan that Diavolo had proposed. You occasionally asked him for advice or his opinion on something. From time to time, the two of you would randomly start to chat about things that happened to come to mind. It was nice to work in silence, but it did leave you questioning what the rest of the household was doing.
“Do you think I should try plan the venue set up around the ice sculpture, or the games? If the sculpture was in the center, it would definitely help elevate the overall elegance, but the games are the whole point of the event. I’m not really sure what Diavolo was thinking asking me to plan a classy, but fun event. It’s very him though, I will say.” You stared blankly at the paper you were sketching on. It was rather crude, but it was only the first draft.
Lucifer remained silent for a second. “Plan around the games. The sculpture can be at the far end of the venue. Still center, but helps put the focus on what Lord Diavolo wanted. Besides, who know what kinds of games he wants to plan? The more room the better.” Lucifer didn’t look up from his work, but you could tell he’d thought hard about what you’d said.
“Thanks. You’re right.” You went back to sketching, making note of what he said off to the side with your other little notes. The two of you sat in silence for a little while longer, before Lucifer spoke up again.
“It’s awfully silent. I think I’m going to go check up on everyone.” He abruptly got up. You had been thinking the same thing.
“Alright, I’ll stay here for now I think. If you have any issues, call me.” You had a few ideas you wanted to get down, alas you forget them.
“I’ll be back shortly.” He shut the door behind him, leaving you alone in his room. You thought about snooping a little, but that would be a breach of his privacy. Besides, how many people could say they were trusted so much so by Lucifer himself that they were left alone in his room? You continued to work, jotting down ideas that came to mind to bring up with Diavolo and Barbatos later.
When you finally looked up, you realized Lucifer still wasn’t back. With that, you got up and decided to look for him. He hadn’t called for you, but knowing him, he wouldn’t even if there was something wrong. The house was still silent. It gave you an icky sort of dread. Something was wrong. You grew more and more panicked by the minute, throwing open every door in the house in search of anybody, but to no avail. The last place you could think to check was outside.
Fortunately, they were all out there.
Unfortunately, some kind of conflict seemed to be happening.
You struggled to take in everything that happening, But, the first thing you zeroed in on was Mammon. He strangely wasn’t part of whatever was happening. He was sitting on the ground, head hanging and looking defeated. Ignoring everyone else, you quickly made your way over to him and knelt beside him. He didn’t even turn to acknowledge you.
“Mammon?” You took his hand, but you still got no reaction. You gently took his face in your other hand and turned it towards you. You’ll never forget the expression on his face. It was devoid of the joy and that smile you were so used to seeing. Instead, it was blank. It was eerie seeing him with a blank slate of an expression. He looked without looking, as if he didn’t even register you were there. “Mams. Let’s go inside.” You didn’t know what happened, but that could wait. Right now, you knew he needed to be away from the ongoing argument. They were so into the fight, they didn’t even notice the two of you leaving.
After you shut the door behind you, the din was deafened. No wonder you didn’t realize they were outside. You led Mammon back up to his room and locked the door behind the both of you. You knew he had some snacks and drinks in his mini fridge in case you needed them. You sat him down, and threw one of the blankets you’d left in his room around his shoulder. “What happened?” Now that the two of you were alone, you figured he might be more receptive to you.
Mammon turned to look at you: the most reaction you’d see out of him so far. He stared at you, and you held his hand comfortingly. He gazed at you, still with a mostly blank expression. “Yer too good to me.” He finally spoke.
“You deserve it. I don’t think I could imagine my life without you.” You were a little confused where all of this was coming from, making you wonder what might have happened.
“Well, my brothers could. They don’t need me.” He looked away from you again.
“What are you talking about? Of course they need you. This family wouldn’t be complete without you. You’re the great Mammon.” You tried to lift his spirits, but it didn’t seem to work.
“Ya’d think differently if you didn’t see me so positively. I’m a piece of scum.” You lent forward a little, trying to meet his eyes, but he fully turned away. He gripped your hand tighter. You sunk back into your chair, but he didn’t move back to how he was before.
“What’d they say?” You move his hand and held it to your chest.
“They told me I was a stain on the family and I didn’t deserve my title. That all I did was make their life harder. They said it in the heat of the argument, so maybe they didn’t mean it, but I’m starting to thing they’re right.” You felt your heart throb for him. It seemed as if he was past the point of tears, because you saw none now and before. He seemed almost numb to it all. If you didn’t know him, you’d just assume he was tired. But you did. And you knew just what you needed to say to try and help.
“You’re Mammon. You fought beside Lucifer and earned your spot fair and square. They might not see what makes you special, but I do.I got to know you much more recently than they did, but we’re so close. Did you ever stop to wonder why? You’re so sweet and loving to me, even early on. It was really great to know I could trust someone in this new and scary world. To me, you’re perfect. I don’t care what anyone else says. You’re my first demon, after all.” You spoke from the heart. “You light up my world, Mams. I’m really glad I met you.” While he was still facing away from you, you felt the grip on your hand soften a little.
“Do ya really think that?” He seemed tentative with his words, as if you might take them back any second.
He still seemed unsure, so you continued. “Think of it this way. Every choice you ever made led you here, and the same goes for me. Even if every choice was a bad one, which they weren’t, we still ended up here, together. You make my life better, and if I need to tell you it a million times, I will.”
“Really?” He finally turned back to look at you. His eyes were still free to tears, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
“Of course I do. Why else would I be here with you right now?” With that, Mammon tackled you into a hug. You playfully screamed, but hugged him back. He needed it. You let him have his moment, and the two of you remained snuggled up in your blanket on his bed. He rolled over, so you were on top of the cuddle hug now.
“I can’t be suffocating my human, now can I?” His signature smile was back. You were glad you were able to help him. You’d do anything for that smile.
“Prime example of you being sweet.” You laughed as he threw the blanket over your head. As much as he tended to deny it, he truly did love his human. You picked him up during times likes this and supported him no matter what, even when he tended to act prickly with his emotions. You were just what he needed in his life.
#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we datee?#obey me! shall we date
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take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 8: late
ao3 link for additional author’s notes | playlist | prev | m.list
chapter synopsis:
' “Kugisaki Nobara. Be honoured, boys,” she says, stance confident, “I’m your group’s girl.”
She’s so cool. '
---
You meet the girl of steel, though you've yet to get closer to her. Luckily, you have friends around the corner like Yuuji— and Megumi, too, but it's a little different with him.
word count: ~7k; tws: none for now :)!!
short a/n: hi i’m sorry i was away for so long!! life got a little busy and this chapter took a while to write. I will preface it by saying that this one is quite boring, though, but the chapters to look forward to a bit more are the two next ones!! lots will happen there :). thank you for your patience and i’m so sorry again!
25-6-2018
By the time you’re back in Jujutsu High’s campus, night time has already shed its shadow against the world, black over Tokyo's fulgid skyscrapers like a veil, the sky devoid of any stars. Tokyo is a metropolis of glittery, coruscant lights that litter the land, with parks and crepe shops and cafes galore. And oh, how you love it every time you come back, from its 90s movie mood to its futuristic innovations.
Dr Ieiri really had planned everything, as if she’d always expected you to be here: she’d got you a room near her office, even helped to clean some of it up, and promised you that you’d still be merely a room away from the one other female student currently in the school. Once the last first year— a girl— arrived, she’d be staying right next to you.
“So? How long do you think you’ll be staying?” Dr Ieiri asks, “I know you’re planning on just giving someone something, but you’re going to be here for much longer, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, but I’ll give you a heads up first. Staying here and operating as an actual sorcerer here, or a doctor for sorcerers like me or your father— it’s a far cry from the last time you were there. I won’t force you to help me when I need it, but you’re still going to be demanded of at almost all times, and I know you’d be the type of person to try to save people as much as you can. You have to be ready for that— the strain and all.”
So she knew what you wanted better than you did. “I am.” You’ll ask that of your father later, to tell Sugisawa Third that you’re transferring to a religious school in Tokyo. They knew too little of you to think of whether you were religious or not anyway.
“I’ll help you so you can still take things easy, okay?”
“...okay. Thank you, doctor.”
26-6-2018
Dr Ieiri smokes less than you thought. Really, the night that you first met her was the first time she’d smoked again in five years, according to her. She attributed it to nostalgia and reminiscing on old memories before asking you to just go to bed— it was almost two in the morning. But you thought it made sense that the ones who were made to heal were the ones who mourned what was unhealed the most; you weren’t the only one stuck playing long-gone memories like a panoramic film on loop, a permanent backdrop in your mind.
“You need to get a good night’s rest,” she’d said, but now you’re walking down the desolate hallways again. It’s fine— if there’s one thing about actually going against your parents for the first time instead of solely refuting them verbally in heated, mangled arguments, it’s that it’s insanely liberating. Before this, you’d have never even considered it an option, yet now it suddenly exists— that autonomy; suddenly, there isn’t a need to follow whatever order you’ve been given. And yes, you do respect Dr Ieiri and probably everyone else in your life, but you can choose not to abide by what they tell you just because you don’t want to— you decide it. No justifications, no reasons or polemics. Just pure responsibility and autonomy of yourself. You can’t fathom now, why you’d been scared of it before, or whether you’d even realised you were. It still feels unfamiliar, like a thrill, like adrenaline from treading on a tightrope above pits of deep, all-encompassing water, but in a week or so you’re going to have become used to it.
From your room, if you walked all the way to the end of the hallway, you’d see the first year boys’ dorms. You don’t take the letter with you— that’s a bridge to either burn or cross another time, when you’re not right about to sleep.
Careful to make as little sound as possible, you knock the door, hoping he’s awake.
You hear his groggy steps as he seems to trudge himself along, before the door opens with a creaky whine. “—it’s one in the morning,” he frowns, “What do you want—”
“Hi, Megumi.”
He closes the door. You wait outside for a moment.
Megumi opens the door again.
“...I should’ve told you I was here, actually,” you say.
“It’s one in the morning,” he goes, “Why aren’t…” he blinks his eyes awake a little, groaning as he rubs his temples, “Why aren’t you asleep? —no, why are you even here, really…”
You’re going to regret your replies come morning, probably; they’ll sound stupid by then. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, but that doesn’t really bother you. “I’m sorry. It’s just, um, I actually wanted to give you something, I mean— I’ll give it to you tomorrow or one of these days, but I was just bored. I just got here, and I’m just going to help Dr Ieiri with some things, um. …sorry, did I wake you? You should rest, actually, it helps your injuries heal faster; sorry for waking you—”
“—no, not… not really. Don’t worry about that,” he states, “But you should still go to sleep anyway. It’s late.”
“I can’t sleep.”
He opens the door and heads inside. An invitation for you to enter, it seems, because he turns and waits for you, the door ajar as you hesitate in front of it.
You come in.
His dorm room seems quite similar to the one in his old home, actually, the only difference being how his room now is only just a little larger than the one you were in at fourteen. (You wonder what happened to it, whether Tsumiki still lies on her bed with her phone for a maximum of five minutes at the same time every day.) The two of you sit on the foot of the bed, the lack of light unquestioned. Just like things were two years ago. With the lights outside his window, the bustling city still abuzz with their izakayas and night clubs, your eyes can trace over an outline of his sharp face and spiky hair.
“How long will you be staying?”
“Quite a while, I think.”
“...which is?”
“Probably more than a week.”
“Wh— then what about school?”
“Oh, I kind of, um… threw it away. I don’t know, um. My parents knew I’d be here for a long time. I think I’m just going to transfer here. I’ll leave it all behind that way.”
He sighs, “I know, but that… that just sounds like a thoughtless decision.”
“The only part of it that I put thought into was whether I’d run away and live or stay and rot there. So when Dr Ieiri gave me a chance I just took it. And I’ll keep taking what she gives me. If not, then… I’ll be stuck dwelling on it for the rest of my life, I think.” For so long, you’d been trying not to do so; to not take that life-determining chance, to decide to dwell yearningly instead of live, and to appease your parents so at least your mother would have that sliver of assurance, but not anymore. They wouldn’t be in your life forever.
“So you’re doing this just so you won’t live a life of regret? You’re doing this just for yourself?”
“It’s the same thing as doing this so that I can help people. It’s two sides of the same coin. Not everyone has what I do.”
“You sound like Itadori,” he says. The way he does so makes your chest ache slightly and you don’t know why. But nobody is as selfless or as much of an unstoppable force as Yuuji is. Nobody, ever. You turn your eyes away from him even if he can’t see you do so in the dark.
“But Yuuji takes that to the extreme, I’m…pretty sure. I’m just trying to do what I can because I can.”
You move your right hand to the side, fiddling with yourself, empty hands trying to find something to do. It bumps into something— something warm and soft. Skin.
With imaginary chills running along your body, you feel Megumi’s left pinky finger loop itself around yours. He clears his throat, breaking the silence, and you look at him again, at the vague shadow before you. “—that’s…that’s my hand.”
“Oh. Ah, okay,” you say. It feels right this way— comfortable, nervous, jumbled, calm—
Your hands move slowly, your fingers trying to steady it like steering around an old, shaky wooden boat with only a paddle, set and ready to embark on a journey. Quivering, you pull your right pinky finger away before your hand is fully enveloped under the hold of his. The heat from his palm on the back of your hand transfers itself right to your face and neck. It’s summer, but it feels cold and hot in the best way possible. “Do… do you want me to let go? Do you want me to stop?”
“...no. I don’t think so. Do you?”
“No. I want to stay.”
“Okay. Me too.”
He does.
In the silence you sit up, biting your bottom lip, your nerves like jelly and your brain probably fried if not for the lack of sleep. For a moment you decide to look at him, and you see him swifty turn his head away from you as soon as you do so.
(—so he’d been looking at you?)
What wakes you up is the sunrise, an early morning. It’s been embedded into your brain to wake up at seven sharp no matter how late you slept.
He’s sleeping, his face down, water in his eyelashes— you suppose that’s why he has such crystalline eyes, viridian ones that remind you of summer and life and protection. Jade and grass. Shifting into rather uncomfortable positions so as to not wake him, you pull yourself away.
His hand still remains snug over yours.
‘Just friends’ don’t do things like this, you think. But at the same time, ‘just friends’ don’t fight curses or heal those who do so, and ‘just friends’ don’t have a third person they had better relationships with before they broke apart while constantly thinking of each other and decided to at the very least become active figures in each others’ lives again.
This is scary, moving all too quickly. You’re being grabbed by the waist and thrust into a paraglider; you’re flying in the vast expanse of a boundless, unnavigable sky, manning a paramotor with no previous warning or idea of how to do so.
But he's very beautiful like this. Hair so black it’s blue, eyelashes woven of silk, a jaw so sharp yet so smooth. The sun greeting the sky as it ejects itself from the inky-hued horizon. You don’t know if there’s a creator, or if there’s a god— you’ve heard of Christianity and many other kinds of faith, though you’d never really dabbled in any of them. But you’d definitely thank someone like that, because scenes like these are proof that someone like that exists, and that that someone is an artist, a masterful artist. So he must have created you and given you an apt appreciation for beauty and art, too, as well as someone like Megumi who was beauty and art.
‘Just friends’ don’t think like that.
But you still will anyway. You can allow yourself that.
He makes a tired little noise as he wakes up, taking in a deep inhale. “...did we really—”
“Yeah. Um. —wait! I should, um, probably brush my teeth first, my breath probably smells horrible right now, sorry—”
“Oh. No, it’s fine, I should too—”
“Yeah, I think I’ll go back to my room too; I don’t want doctor suspecting anything, ah—”
“Oh— okay,” he releases his hand.
It’s strange to have things like these— little snippets and moments that remind you to just have fun and be a kid. For years— maybe your whole adolescent experience so far— every day hailed with it a new matter to tend to and worry about, and every day you subconsciously wondered if you were wasting your life away, doing nothing but fantasise of a faraway fancy in which you could use the only potential you had for something.
But who knew that it was so simple, yet so profound: that the excitement and memories that you yearned for could be obtained just from wanting to do so? That if you wanted to do something, you could just up and do it?
You like it, though. The paralysing, dizzying feeling of it all, breaths caught in your throat and you can’t say anything without stuttering. The last time you’d felt it, it was Yuuji: you’d had yourself emotionally constipated to the point you choked it all up within you, toned things down and muted the intensity of it all before you even felt it. But it was fun then, and now this is much better. It would seem delusional to hope for anything else. There’s not much of a fantasy for you to look to and put yourself into a deluge of daydreams about, but for once you want to feel something without the implications. That must be what being a teenager is like— you’d seen it time and time again in movies, with cliques and girlfriends and gossip sessions, but you’d never had the luxury to have them yourself and be a girl like that. So this must be what it’s like, at least a semblance of it, with its fun and frivolities and feelings straight from familiar flicks.
Not quite the time to put a name to it just yet, but it’s fun. At least, you can do it a little longer. It feels like a breath of fresh air after chaining yourself down like an anchor to the seabed.
You rush to the door. “I’ll see you later? For breakfast,” you try to smile as calmly as you can while you turn back to look at him again.
Thank goodness Dr Ieiri wakes up at eight whenever there isn't much work for her to tend to.
You set a mission for yourself: hold Megumi’s hand again at least once in your high school career.
Now that’s how to live without regrets, be a teenager, and have fun.
Are you being delusional?
You don’t know what Fushiguro Megumi is to you now, because ‘friend’ doesn’t sum it up well enough, ‘stranger’ doesn’t do the two of you your deserved justice, classmates isn’t the actual term, and ‘boyfriend’ is way too far from the truth.
So to have dreams like that; thoughts like that, you think as you brush your teeth, you’re probably making a fool of yourself again.
There’s something going on here and you don’t know what it is. And even if you’d told yourself you were fine with it, you don’t know how long everything else will be.
It makes you feel like an idiot.
But in your head you're filled with thoughts and, for a lack of a better term, hindrances. Did he sleep well? Do friends do that? Or was it just the two of you who’d do that? Was there even any meaning behind it all, any implications on your relationship due to this? This way you’d drive yourself insane before you could even get to breakfast.
Did he like it, though? Could he have liked it, the sight of you sleeping next to him? Of vulnerability? No, he couldn’t, right? Yet, if he did, then—
You needed to calm down.
(What about the letter?)
Maybe this was adrenaline: you’d run and take a few bites of breakfast before anyone else did, heading back to your room after you had done so. This way, nobody would see you. (You weren’t calm enough to do this, what made you think, in your sleep-deprived mind, that you’d be mature enough to handle this the next morning?)
Just as you’re planning strategies to spend the whole day holed up in your room and avoid contact with anyone for it all, there’s a knock on your door.
“Took so much to talk to the dad alone—” he says, his voice muffled as he speaks to someone else, “I could never stand that old geezer! If he’s like that I’m glad I never had to know how much worse his wife is.”
It’s Gojo, you can tell. There’s a slight mocking tone in the way he does everything, in the way he says and laughs about the most out-of-pocket shit ever— this is one of those times, because you can almost hear what you think is a feral maniac with the voice of an idol laughing like a loon as he bangs against your door as if he’s trying to kill it.
“You probably shouldn’t hit it so hard.” Dr Ieiri’s voice.
You open the door. “Yes?”
“He’s saying that you should come as backup, and I thought it would help you be put on the spot. It’ll teach you how to operate with clarity as you work,” Dr Ieiri explains.
“Besides, you won’t even need to help that much. It’s just that this way, you’ll be able to do so if it’s needed while we’re here to guide you. Think of a baby taking its first steps with the help of its parents. If it gets dangerous for them, I’ll step in and you can heal them, but if you can’t heal them enough, we’ll just bring them back to Shoko,” Gojo cheerfully adds. Dr Ieiri nods along with him.
“Ah… okay.” Your first “actual” lesson as an “apprentice”, then.
“But first, you should change,” Gojo tells you, handing you a set of clothes, “Here. It’s a spare standard uniform that we keep for special cases. Now you can match with Megumi!”
Your eyes widen, unsure of whether to laugh nervously or slap him or dash in the opposite direction— shawty a runner, she a track star.
“I’m so sorry that he’s like this,” Dr Ieiri goes. Joking or not, she’s right. You’re sorry she’s dealt with him for so long, too.
“...thanks.”
“Don’t bully my student, Satoru,” Dr Ieiri orders, and you kind of like the sound of your new title.
You wonder how Gojo got used to teleporting with his cursed technique, but you suppose that it comes with the innate ability to switch from one scene to another so rapidly without feeling at least a little sick— like how the shift from the quiet of the dormitories to the bustle outside of Harajuku has you feeling right now. The brightness of the summer sunlight feels like an intrusion as Gojo sets you down and you open your eyes again.
“Wow.”
“Oh, it’s [Name]!”
Megumi looks away. He’s probably embarrassed to hell and back right now— angry at you, even, maybe. You weren’t sure anymore; you couldn’t even think. You try to let the heat rising up to your face subside without fanning it, steadying yourself beside Gojo, swearing that you’d like to be invisible just this once.
“Sorry for the wait! I had to take up a call. I brought [Name] over here for backup too to get a grasp of the on-field experience.” Gojo says, waving at them, “Oh! Your uniform made it in time.”
“Yeah! It fits great! Though I noticed it’s slightly different from Fushiguro’s. Mine has got a hood.”
It does fit him, you think, as you look at Yuuji. It looks better on him than it did when he sent you pictures of it over text. It’s easier to look at him now than Megumi.
“That’s because the uniforms can be customised upon request.”
“Huh?” Yuuji tilts his head to the side, “But I never put in any requests.”
“You’re right!” Gojo smiles, “I was the one who put in the custom order.”
“Huh… oh. Well, cool!”
“Be careful,” Megumi goes, “Gojo has a habit of doing that kind of stuff. So why are we meeting up here in Harajuku?”
“Because,” Gojo clarifies, “That’s what she asked for.”
“Oh!” Yuuji starts as the four of you walk out of the station, “You’re wearing the uniform too, [Name]. Looking good!”
“Really? Thanks. I mean, I like the skirt. The uniform makes me feel like a fancy princess in a fancy school or something, but the skirt looks a little like it belongs to an elegant office lady.”
“Uh, yeah,” Megumi follows, “You… look good. In the uniform, I mean.”
You force out a laugh— “Haha, uh… you too. I mean, everyone would look good with these uniforms, right?” Wow…
“...I guess so,” Megumi replies, looking in the other direction.
If you see Gojo stifling his laughter in front of you, no you don’t.
“We- we should get popcorn. I read online that said you could get really tasty popcorn at one of the shops in Takeshita Street.”
“Yay, popcorn!” Yuuji exclaims, “I want some!”
“Sure,” Gojo chuckles, “The shop’s pretty near here anyway. This is your guys’ first time in Harajuku, right, [Name] and Yuuji?”
“Ah… yeah, and now that I think about it, Yuuji had never been out of Sendai until recently, actually. Right?”
“Yeah, but I thought you’d have been to Harajuku before.”
“I mean, I used to live in Tokyo, but I didn’t really move around. I think the most famous place I’ve been to is Shinjuku-Gyoen. Really pretty garden…”
“Oh… then we should go around Tokyo one of these days!”
“Yeah,” you smile, “We should! But you could spend a whole week exploring and you still wouldn’t see all of it,” you remark, “It’s a good idea, though.”
“Fushiguro, wanna come along?”
“Uh, sure…” Megumi goes, avoiding eye contact with you. You do the same.
“...hey, is everything okay between the two of you? How come you’re so shy with each other all of a sudden?”
“H-huh? Ah, no, no, it’s okay.”
“You said ‘no’ twice. You usually only repeat words like that when you’re really worried about something,” Yuuji says. Curse his affinity for knowing you.
“But it’s fine, though. Don’t worry.”
“Uh… yeah. What [Name] said.”
“You sure?” Yuuji asks again, a bit concerned. “Okay, then.”
The rest of the walk mostly goes in silence— Yuuji excitedly heads for things to buy, from funky accessories to buckets of snacks. By the time it’s over and all of you are near the 400 yen corner, he’s decked out in all the Tokyo tourist gear, there’s popcorn in his hands, and sunglasses with frames spelling out “ROOK” on his face. (Maybe because he’s a rookie?)
There’s a well-dressed girl in front of you— you wonder if it’s her, but she isn’t wearing the uniform, so it probably isn’t— and a man most likely bald and wearing a wig with his black-and-white business suit. “Well, hello, there!” the man says to her, “Are you on the clock right now?”
“No, not right now,” she replies.
“That’s great! You see, I’m looking for potential models. That’s what I do! Would you be interested?”
He’s scouting for models?
There’s a sliver of hope in you that he looks at you next and asks you that question. You’re sure it isn’t going to happen, but you suppose you would like being told you were pretty by having a job associated with people who were— there was no chance, though. In Tokyo, the vast metropolis that it is, there are so many with better looks; better faces, prettier hair, nicer bodies— or people who dress better, walk more confidently; people who are adequate in all the ways you aren’t.
The thought slightly shocks you, in reality— you haven’t thought about how you may not be able to compare with others since the time when you really did realise that Yuuji would never like you (not in that way, at least, and it still hurts to think about it). You never thought you’d feel that way again, and you never thought you would have to be surprised by such thoughts that had been brought in by something akin to envy or jealousy.
“I’m in a hurry right now,” the girl denies.
At least she probably knows just how beautiful she is.
“Hey, you!” another girl calls. This one is just as beautiful— prettier than you, with brown (probably dyed) hair, and pretty brown eyes to match. She’s wearing the same uniform as you save for some titivations at the skirt, and she looks way better in it than you do. “What about me?” she asks, pointing at herself, “For that modelling gig. Hey, I’m asking what you think about me.”
She’s so confident, it’s so cool…
“Oh, well uh… I’m in a hurry at the moment,” the man says. Little bitch boy.
“What the hell?” she asks, holding the man by the collar, “Don’t run, come out and say what you think!”
“Wait, she’s the one we have to go and talk to? This is real embarrassing,” Yuuji says.
Megumi mutters under his breath, “Yeah? So are you.”
“I think she’s an icon,” you express.
Gojo waves at her, amused, “Hey, we’re over here!”
The girl slams the locker door shut after she places her backpack— a really tiny, cute pink one— into its pit of shopping bags. Probably to buy pretty clothes. She’d look really good in them.
“Right, so now we have our three students! Oh— [Name] here isn’t really a student, by the way, I’ll explain later,” Gojo informs the pretty girl, “I’d like you to meet—”
“Kugisaki Nobara. Be honoured, boys,” she says, stance confident, “I’m your group’s girl.”
She’s so cool.
Oh, she’s judging them, you think as she stares at the boys.
“I’m Itadori Yuuji. I’m from Sendai!”
“Fushiguro Megumi.”
“Ugh,” she lets out, “This is what I get to work with? Great, just my luck.”
“She took one look and sighed— that can’t be good,” Yuuji says.
“Are we going somewhere from here?” Megumi asks.
“Well, we do have all three—”
“All four—” Megumi interjects.
“Ack— no, no, Megumi, I’m not a student, hold on—” You don’t want to be something other than a ghost, not right now, because then you’ll have to deal with whatever you’ve done in the last twenty-four hours that you’d rather beat around the bush and eventually forget about than anything.
“Okay, we do have all four of you together, and since three of you kids are from the countryside, that means…” he pauses for effect— were you really “from” the countryside, though, if you’d moved around so much that you had no sure idea where your roots were? “...we’re going to Tokyo!”
You and Megumi watch as Kugisaki and Yuuji chant the city name over and over in unison before arguing over where to head to. But this is Gojo— so there may be a catch somewhere that you just haven’t found yet.
Megumi looks as annoyed as ever, much like the expression his younger self used to have when his eyebrows crinkled in exasperation from your antics.
“If you quiet down, I’ll announce our destination,” Gojo begins, and the newly formed pair quiet down, “Roppongi!”
It’s probably just something like an abandoned building in Roppongi, not Roppongi in all of its glamour itself.
It’s an abandoned building in Roppongi.
Gojo explains the situation after Kugisaki and Yuuji’s outrage— “There’s a big cemetery nearby. That, plus an abandoned building, and you’ve got a curse.”
Kugisaki stops her raging when she finds out that Yuuji is still learning about how curses are formed. “Wait, hold up here. He didn’t even know that yet?”
“To be honest…” Megumi starts to explain.
She looks horrified after.
(If you could, though, if you were anything other than a ghost right now— you’d tell her of how selfless and brave Yuuji is, of how incredible he is that he stopped at nothing to help his friends. You’d tell her that this was what made liking him as easy as breathing air.)
Before the two of them head into the building, Gojo hands Yuuji a cursed tool— you’d never actually seen one before. You wonder if he’ll be able to wield it well enough: you know he has it covered, but you’re still worried about him anyway. (You always are.)
And he gives Yuuji a challenge, too, though it’s more like an ultimatum. “Don’t let Sukuna out, okay?”
Soon the three of you sit down near the building— there’s a block of concrete that you wonder why it was placed there for, and Gojo gestures for Megumi and you to sit down there.
“Hey, you should be sitting here. I’m fine with standing.”
“Nah, just take a seat. I’ve got to be on standby anyway.”
“But you’re the teacher. You should get a better seat. And I’m not injured like Megumi, so I’m fine with standing.”
“Pft,” he snorts, “You think I actually care about that sort of stuff?”
You pause. “I… guess not. Thank you. Sorry again.”
Gojo squats down instead, only his feet on the floor. “See? It’s better this way. Just you and Megumi in your own little world—”
“—please stop.”
Megumi turns away from you again in embarrassment.
“Anyway…ah, Kugisaki is really pretty,” you state, “And she seems really strong. I’m still worried, though. What if the curse inside is stronger than anticipated…”
“...I think I’ll go in too,” Megumi says, “Someone needs to keep an eye on Itadori, right?”
“You should rest and let your injuries heal, though. I mean, I could help you with that, but I’m supposed to wait for their injuries first—”
“Well, the one we’re testing this time is Nobara,” Gojo highlights, “That Yuuji… he’s got some screws loose: he’s fearless— these things take the form of terrifying creatures who try to kill him, yet the guy has no hesitation at all. And he doesn’t have the familiarity with curses that you have. We’re talking about a boy who used to live a normal high school life. By now you’ve seen plenty of sorcerers and you’ve seen them give up because they couldn’t conquer their fear or disgust, right?” he explains to Megumi.
He’s right, though. For someone who had no idea what curses were just a bit more than a week ago, it’s amazing how he can acclimatise himself to such a new life so quickly. When you’d first learned about curses and jujutsu sorcerers, the only reason your life stayed that way was because actually becoming a victim of it seemed like merely a faraway hypothetical, something that couldn’t affect you— up until your father revealed his cursed technique and you exorcised that curse in the store a while after. That was when the ghastly figure of reality that was jujutsu society reared its head and pricked you with its cold finger. As happy as you were after you’d exorcised it, you could feel that empty pit forming in your gut— you did it, thank goodness, but what now? And as your heart raced while you helped that lady, you didn’t address it.
You supposed the benefit of your position was not having to at all.
“Hasn’t Kugisaki already dealt with curses before, though?”
“As we know, curses are born from human minds, so their strength in numbers grows in proportion to the population,” Gojo teaches, “Do you think Nobara understands? Tokyo curses are of a different level than those in the countryside.”
The curse you handled before would be on the weaker side, then. “In what way?” you ask.
“Their cunning— monsters that have gained wisdom will force cruel choices upon you where the weight of human life hangs in the balance. [Name], when you fought that curse last time, did it seem to be sentient or self-aware?”
“...I mean, I guess it seemed like it couldn’t really see the other person there. It was just me and the lady who worked there, so… no.”
“Well, to put it into perspective, [Name], the curse, had it been one from the city instead, could have done something like take the lady hostage to sort of threaten you and keep itself at large. So this test is to see if Nobara is crazy enough.”
It wouldn’t matter, though— you were the healer, the medic, the doctor. Whatever level of martial prowess you were supposed to have didn’t concern you.
“And speaking of tests, [Name]…” Gojo begins, “One of these days, you’ll have to get one too. As someone about to take Shoko’s role, this is your first test as a medic— every mission you get sent to will be a test in that aspect. But as a sorcerer…”
“Hey. I’m not an actual sorcerer, though, remember? And you should speak with Dr Ieiri first if you want me to expel curses like one and all.”
“Well, I didn’t speak to Dr Ieiri. I spoke to your dear old dad!”
“What?”
“Took a lot of convincing, but—”
“He didn’t tell me anything about this. I’m sorry— I know you just treated me well and gave me a better seat, but why didn’t you think to ask me first? It’s not like I ever really wanted to fight, either. And they were on-board with that. It’s just— why would you change that?”
Megumi sighs exasperatedly, “Seriously, what is this?”
“Yeah! What is this, Gojo?”
“Okay, okay: I’ll share a secret with the two of you, then. You’ve always been tied together, so there’s no use in me telling either of you just to not tell the rest. Keep it between yourselves, okay? Think of it as another part of your shared bond,” Gojo says.
You purse your lip. (Your mother did that a lot. There is nothing you can do that your parents are not entwined in even now; the roots of them have been planted so deeply into your life, ingrained so deeply into your psyche.) “Look, I just want you to answer me, Gojo. Why did you do it?” Why ruin a consensus that took years of compromise and arguments to settle on?
“...because you can. I mean, it’s your philosophy to be like that, right? If you have the ability to help someone, do it.”
“I mean, in essence, yeah, but what kind of point are you trying to make here?”
“That I think with that mindset you’d make a pretty good teacher. You know,” he sighs with a faux furtiveness, “Your father had that same mindset, with his strength and his intelligence and his kindness, and he was one of the best teachers you could ever have. He wasn’t an actual teacher, but… he was the kind of geezer who people thought were wise and would seek guidance from. A great guy, actually. But to cut to the chase, what I’m saying is that I want you to be a sorcerer who knows how to fight, too, instead of just the doctor in the corner that you believe will be the peak of your potential. I think you can do better.”
“So? I mean, as bad as it sounds, I don’t want to.”
“That’s why I just want you to try. I want you to have that test and become an actual student here. Shoko doesn’t mind you not becoming one because she thinks they won’t send you on missions if you’re considered ‘too valuable’ by the higher-ups. But I want you to become my student— I’ll give you time to think about it, but look at this way: you have abilities that exceed what you think of yourself— imagine how it sounded to other sorcerers when they heard of you back then, a thirteen-year-old with a late-blooming cursed technique grasping control of it instantly and defeating a grade two curse, even healing the person left behind. Face it: you’re technically a prodigy. The only thing that separates you from others like you is your humanity that troubles you with a reluctance to believe you can actually do anything.”
Harsh. “...I’ll think about it. But why spring it up on me now?”
“Maybe you know too little. O-kay, children, listen carefully. Little [Name]’s father would be a relatively famous sorcerer just because of his partial position as a healer, right? For all your life, you were sheltered and protected by your parents who never wanted you to enter into the jujutsu world. I even spoke to your mother herself, remember? Told her that you’d probably be a window but that you could still use cursed energy. You hadn’t shown signs of a cursed technique yet, but we hadn’t considered that it was because prior to that you never had to use it— the countryside areas you grew up in were practically devoid of any curses that your mother and father wouldn’t have already killed themselves. So, with your father’s quote-en-quote ‘fame’, what makes you think that people wouldn’t have wanted you as a jujutsu sorcerer from the start?”
Just like that the worlds in your head have had worlds of meanings added to them.
“So? What do you think, [Name]?”
You turn to Megumi. When you’re backed out into a corner, your eyes scrambling for a place to put them, you turn to Megumi.
His hand moves hesitantly to your shoulder, ghosting over it like a teapot over a china cup. “...whatever it is, you’ll do well. Gojo just likes to pull stuff like this.”
It feels warm. You won’t be in trouble if you don’t run away from this. It’s nice. It’s calm, his steady hand on your shoulder as your heart feels like it’s about to take a nosedive. “...thanks.”
“Give me some time, Gojo.”
Yuuji and Kugisaki come back with a little boy in tow.
“Ah— you’re back!”
“No injuries, [Name]! We’re all scratch-free! The kid has a bruise on his knee, though.”
“Oh. Can I see it, please?” you ask the boy, kneeling to his height.
The boy pulls the left hem of his pants up, revealing a fresh violet blot on his skin.
“Would you be okay if I touched your knee? I can take the bruise away for you.”
He nods and soon it’s gone, his skin pristine and new. “Woah,” he goes, “Thank you! Was that magic?” he asks, eyes full of childlike wonder.
You giggle. “Something like that. Could you keep it a secret?” you make the best welcoming and kid-friendly grin you can as you place your index against your lips.
“Okay!” he whisper-shouts, smiling wide.
Kugisaki and Yuuji rest by the building while Gojo, Megumi and you bring the kid back home.
“You know, I wanted to say, big sister,” he starts, looking up at you, “You’re really pretty!”
(So cute!!) “Ah, really? That other girl is really pretty too, though.”
“You too! You could be like a model on a poster!” he exclaims, “Oh wait— I live over there! Thanks again!” he points to the turning on the left.
“Haha, thank you,” you reply as Gojo waves at him, “Take care of yourself!”
“I will! Bye-bye, big sister!”
“Are you hungry?” you ask Gojo and Megumi. “Ack— I feel lightheaded.”
Megumi turns to you in an instant— “You didn’t eat enough for breakfast?”
“Guess so,” you reply, “I should be fine, though. I think I just had something on my mind the whole day and I couldn’t feel the hunger or something.”
He whips his phone out.
“Oh, there’s a famous tonkatsu restaurant back in Omotesando,” you suggest as he scrolls through restaurant options. “I think Yuuji may want to eat something like steak, though, and I don’t know what Kugisaki likes. Is there anything you want in particular?”
“I’m fine with anything,” he says, “But it’s Gojo’s money we’re going to be using, so we should probably make the most of it.”
“Mm… we can eat beef steak in Ginza, I think… ah— Yuuji’s grandfather always called it beefteki. I’m surprised I can still remember.”
27-6-2018
“Hi. It’s one in the morning, Megumi,” you greet him as he stands outside your room’s door, “Can’t sleep?”
“...yeah,” he admits sheepishly, “Sorry about this.”
He sits down on the bed. “Nah, it’s fine. It’s like we’re going to keep doing this,” you start, “Our special ritual. Something like that. I mean, we help each other in this way, right?”
Your hand strays upward a little, nervous as it inches toward his shoulder.
He brings your hand there and places his own hand on top of it. “Yeah,” he replies contentedly, “But I… wanted to ask,” Megumi begins, “What Gojo said. Are you going to become a student?”
“I don’t know. I mean, looking at how things are going now, I may. It seems like things are leaning more towards me being a full-fledged sorcerer. Haven’t had the time to think about it.”
He seems to pause for a moment, to reconsider something one last time like a record in his head.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I should take you to see Tsumiki first.”
You nearly gasp. “She wants to see me?” After all this time? “I’m happy, but… wouldn’t she be busy, though?”
“No… I mean… you really should take a look at her first. Then you’ll see what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry, but I just— I really should have told you sooner.
“Told me what?” you frown. Learning of this feels a bit like restarting and going back to square one somehow.
“I’m sorry, can we just… do something else for now? Just… please be patient with me a little longer. I’m sorry you have to do that so much.”
“…okay.”
You wake up to his figure being illuminated shyly by the light of dawn. In the tiny bubble that the two of you share— of intertwined paths, secrets, lives— and the sensation of waking from a late night, you realise just how much you want to stay there forever.
This morning, you don’t rush back to your room and hastily go through your routine. All you do for a while, for what feels like it lasts for a century yet lasts for too little time, is look at him, at his steady, quiet breathing as his eyes are shut comfortably tight.
taglist:
@bakananya, @sindulgent666, @shartnart1, @lolmais, @mechalily, @pweewee, @notsaelty, @nattisbored
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#aaa so sorry for being gone for so long#got a little busy#finally!! done with this one!!#it's quite boring though#um... please look forward to chapter 9 and 10 it's less ass than this chapter lol#so sorry!!#jjk x reader#take me back (take me with you)#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#megumi#fushiguro megumi#megumi fluff#megumi angst#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#jjk x fem!reader#fem!reader#ruer writes#megumi x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#megumi imagine#fanfiction#jjk fanfiction
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a little update for my far cry mutuals who are still here the rest of the samples came in so i can finally get the official production started!! here's all of them side by side ^^
it'll be a busy next few months waiting for everything to get done, i'm sorry it took a lot longer than expected but hopefully they'll be shipped and i can send them out as soon as possible!!
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Dragons and Roses Part 2 - Aegon II x Y/N Tyrell (Reader)
Summary: You are Helaena's childhood friend, your job at court is it to entertain the princess and be a friend to her. Your life is actually quite pleasant, and even her brother is no longer so unbearable for you. You would even call Aegon your friend. But everything changes and you slowly realize that your idyllic life in the Reed Keep isn't so idyllic after all. Everything you've been holding on to and belives in begins to crumble. (Part 2/ 3)
Words: 18.846
Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical misogyny, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, family problems, Viserys I is an ass and a bad father,
and as always english is not my native language// no beta reader so all mistakes are mine // GIF not mine.
A/N: Actually, the story should go in a completely different direction. The plan was to have a short enemys to lovers without a big subplot. That did not work. Because Part 2 is was geting too long and I still have ideas, there will be a Part 3. Anyways have fun :)
You can also read this on AO3
Part 1
The next few weeks are, to your surprise, more pleasant than you could have imagined. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and the temperatures are mild. You spend a lot of time with Helaena outside, picnicking, reading or sitting in the shadows under the trees and listening to musicians.
But this morning you spent with Aegon. He tried to convince you to visit Sunfyre but you refused to visit the monsters in the Dragonpit. He had laughed briefly about your fear, but then he accepted your decision. Aegon is really trying to be a friend. He's nice to you and his sister, holds back his drinking and fornication, doesn't make any more bitchy comments, and you've discovered that underneath his arrogant facade is an intelligent, witty young man. Even if it took you a while to get used to his humor.
Now you walk back to Helaena's chambers. You open the door but than stop in surprise. You expected to find her alone, but it's not just the Queen who's here, it's Grand Maester Orwyle too. Helaena sits on her bed.
"Your Grace. " you say and sink into a curtsy befor the Queen.
“Lady Y/N good to have you here. ” says the Queen after she makes a hand gesture so you can stand up again. Worried you look over to Helaena, but she smiles to your relief. She waves you over to her, quickly you go to her and sit down next to her on the soft bed, she turns to you and you reach for her hand.
"Are you all right?" She told you a few days ago that she was feeling sick and you also notice that she wasn´t fit the last few days. A bit more tired then usually.
“Yes. The master says I’m pregnant. ” Surprised, you look at her and then you manage to force a smile on your face.
“How beautiful. ” You don't even know if you're serious. Your first thought is about the bruises on her body. But then you try to remember that Aegon is trying to do better.
“Yes, really good news. An heir to the throne. ” says Master Orwyle. You raise your eyebrows, Princess Rhaenyra has enough male heirs, it is unlikely that Aegon and his children will inherit the Iron Throne. But then the memory of the princes appears before your inner eye, with their dark eyes and hair, you remember all the rumours about the descent of the boys.
"Send for the King and Prince Aegon. " Says the Queen as she send a maid on her way.
“Are you happy?” you ask Helaena.
“I hope everything will be okay,” she answers evasively, but she smiles.
“My medical advice will be bed rest in the near future, especially in the early stages of pregnancy. ” says Master Orwyle, more to the Queen than to Helaena. You look outside and you can hardly suppress a sigh. You probably won't be able to enjoy the nice weather anymore. But maybe you could finally finish reading the Dornish fairy tales, the thick book has been untouched on the table for days now.
The doors of the chambers are opened and Aegon enters, his cheeks still a little red from the sun outside. “I was just on my way to Sunfyre. ”He says to his mother and sounds a bit like a child who has been forbidden to play his favorite game.
“There is something more important than your dragon. ” answer the Queen.
"And what?"
“You will find out as soon as your father gets here.”
Aegon just rolls his eyes. “What does he want? Wait it doesn’t matter, I don´t care. ” Queen Alicent sighs at his tone and shakes her head disapprovingly. Aegon looks around for a moment, then grabs the wine on the table and falls on the chair. He just seems to notice the presence of the Maester and he looks to his sister in bed. “Did something happen? Are you sick?” his voice no longer sounds so bored, but also hardly worried. You give him an angry look, but he only smiles at you for a moment.
"Aegon. . . " begins the Queen with suppressed anger in her voice, but she is interrupted when the door opens again and the King and Lord Hightower, the King's Hand, enter.
“What’s going on?” Helaena’s grandfather asks, even he sounds more concerned than Aegon.
“Good news. ” answer the Queen and look at Helaena with a smile. Aegon is also a bit curious.
“I am pregnant. ” answer Helaena now and smiles at her father, you can see in her eyes that she wants a positive reaction from him. The King nods and a slight smile appears on his face.
"Good. That’s good news. " He says, and then pats Aegon firmly on the shoulder. “Well done, my boy. ” Aegon twists his face and twitches away from his father. All the colour is gone from his face and his hand is cramped around his cup of wine. The King nods to Helaena once more, then he leaves the chambers again, the King's hand follows him on his foot. You see tears rising into Helena's eyes, but she blinks them bravely away. You squeeze her hand a little tighter.
“Can I go?” Aegon asks his mother.
“Yes.“ the Queen sounds tired. Aegon gets up and almost runs from the room. You want to run after him to complain about his behavior, but you know Helaena needs you right now, so you stay seated next to her on the bed.
"Is Father happy?"
The Queen takes a few deep breaths and blinks away tears, then she comes to you and sits on Helaena's other side. She, too, reaches for her hand.
“Of course. He’s overjoyed.” She says it with a forced smile. You can see in her face that she's fighting but she manages to keep that smile on her face. For her daughter.
The maester says goodbye after a moment and promises that his assistant will bring a tea for Helaena, which strengthens mother and son. How does he know that the child will become a son? The Queen talks a little more about her pregnancies and that everything was very simple and went well, while she strokes Helaena's hair. You sit in silence with both of them and just listen. You know little about pregnancies, only the horror stories about bleeding, dying mothers who are left in childbed while fathers celebrate the birth of their sons and heirs. But of course you don't say anything. Helaena is a princess, she will get the best medical care. But even that couldn't save the king's first wife, is it true that he had her cut open to save the prince? A prince who lived only a few hours. You don't want to think about a long-dead Queen and focus on Helaena and the Queen's words about how beautiful it is to be a mother and how happy Helaena will be when she holds her child in her arms. It is getting late and at some point the Queen calls for the maids for Helaena. You rise from the soft bed, your back hurts a little because you have been sitting for so long, yet you stretch your back and smooth the skirt of your dress.
“Are you staying here tonight?” Helaena suddenly asks you. The memories of your childhood come up, countless times you slept in Helena's bed. One night she'd whispered in the dark that her dreams were scaring her, but when you're with her, she knows nothing bad can happen. You were so young then. Maybe 8 or 9. Helaena didn't understand her dreams then, probably she still doesn't. But after her marriage to Aegon, he threw you out of her room one night, drunk, and from then on, your sleepovers became less frequent until they stopped. You look at the Queen, she nods and smiles at you.
“Yes, of course. ” you then answer Helaena.
You toss restlessly on the soft mattress. Somehow you can't find sleep, repeatedly you startle from short half-sleep phases. But you don't know why, your thoughts revolve around nothing in particular. You just have a bad feeling, even if you don't understand why. You hear the door open and when it quietly closes again you sit straight in bed. Helaena next to you turns to the other side, but she continues to sleep. You try to look through the curtains in front of her bed, a candle is lit and a figure appears. Quickly you jump out of bed, all your muscles are tense and you breathe to call for the guards, but then you recognize Aegon.
“What are you doing here?” he twitches in fright, his hand twitches to his side, probably to pull a Dagger or something like this, but then he recognizes you. He falls on one of the chairs at the table. You approach him and are glad that the candle gives little light, because as your bare feet step from the carpet onto the cold stone floor, you realize that you are only wearing your nightgown. You notice how the blush shoots in your cheeks but Aegon doesn't seem to notice your outfit or your shame.
“I didn’t expect you here. Aemond, maybe not you. ” he whispers as you sit at the table next to him. Now that you're close to him, you can smell the beer and the wine and the sweat hanging from his clothes. He had most likely spent the night in Flea Bottom.
“What do you mean? Why Aemond?” you say, pulling your eyebrows together, which makes Aegon laugh. He's really drunk.
“It was a joke, little rose.” he says and looks over the table at you.
“Why are you making such jokes?” the night had not been very relaxing for you until now, and his presence here confuses you. Did he want to claim his marital rights? Helaena says he only does that when he's drunk. Aegon shrugs his shoulders, the darkness makes it hard to see his facial expressions.
“Maybe it’s because sometimes I wish Mother had married them. Maybe she’d be happier then.” his words hang between you and you don't know what to say. The silence almost becomes unpleasant, but then Aegon turns his head to the bed. “How is she?”
“Why the sudden worry?” you can still remember his lack of interest in the afternoon.
“I’m always worried about her, she’s my sister.” then he looks up to you and puts a finger on his lips. “But pssh little Rose, I don’t want anyone to know. I have a reputation to lose. ”
You roll your eyes at what he says. “She’s fine, she’s worried if everything will be fine. But your mother says its normal to worry and everything will be alright.”
Aegon nods and you are silent for a moment, then he gets up with a swing. Surprised by his sudden movement and the elegance in it, even though he's obviously had too much to drink, you look up to him.
“Sleep well, little Rose.”
“I am not a little rose. ” you answer, but he just laughs softly again. “Good night, little prince.” Then you answer to annoy him a little, but immediately you regret it. Maybe you got too brave in front of him. Immediately, fear of his anger rises up in you. But Aegon only laughs quietly again and then sneaks out of the room. You sigh, blow out the candle in front of you and go back to bed. Maybe you can get some sleep before the sun comes up again.
To celebrate the pregnancy, the King organizes a large hunting party. For whatever reason, neither Helaena nor Aegon are interested in hunting. The King doesn't seem to care. So a few days later, you're sitting next to Helaena in the stuffy carriage on the way to the Kingswood. The curtains in front of the windows are closed so that the sun does not shine inside and you count the minutes until you can leave the stuffy vehicle again. Even Helaena next to you is in a bad mood.
“I wish we could have stayed at the Red Keep. ” she say and play with the fringes of the pillow next to her. “Whether I’m sitting in my rooms or in a tent. Mother didn’t even allow me to bring Dreamfyre. ”
“You are not allowed to ride your dragon until the baby is born. ” you repeat the Queen's words. Helaena rolls her eyes.
“Aegon and Aemond also come on Sunfyre and Vhagar. ”
“You know very well that this is counterproductive, the two dragons are going to scare away all the venison. It’s not going to be a successful hunt. ”
Helaena just shrugs her shoulders. The carriage stumbles and you get out. There are already many gathered, you recognize the usual small and large houses of Westeros. For the royale hunt a small camp was set up in the Kingswood, there are tents everywhere, and a large campfire is set up in the middle.
You don't really want to spend the next two days in the woods, but it´s not like you have a choice. A loud roar catches your attention, you look up and in the next moment you see two dragons falling from the sky, Vaghar is obviously much bigger than Sunfyre, but as the two approach the ground in orbit, the sun reflects on the golden dragon's scales and even if you are afraid you can't help but marvel at the dragon's beauty. Everyone says Sunfyre is the most beautiful of the Tagaryen dragons. You can't understand the beauty of these monsters, but the way the dragon moves gracefully through the air and lands almost lightly in the middle of the camp, you have to admit that you are impressed. When Vaghar lands a moment later, the whole earth trembles. Aegon slips from his saddle and Aemond lands a moment later next to his brother. The people around start clapping as the princes walk through the camp to the royal family's tent.
"Come on. " Helanea says, together you follow her brothers. When you arrive at the tent entrance, Aemond holds the cloth, which forms the entrance, to the side and you can enter. Aegon waves directly to one of the servants, who brings him a cup of wine.
“Is it wise to drink before hunting?” you ask.
He's just smiling at you.“Of course, otherwise I can’t stand all this. What a waste of time. ” You want to contradict him, but he's right. This is supposed to be a feast for Helaena and Aegon, but neither of them wants to be here. Still, you answer him.
“The King means well, he wants to make you happy and celebrate your child. ”
“He doesn’t give a shit about us. ”
"Aegon, be quiet. " hiss Aemond next to you and give his brother an angry look.
"Isn't it the truth?"
“No truth for the public.” the two princes exchange a glance and Aegon nods, then he turns back to his wine. “Come on, Lady Y/N, we’ll get you something to drink. ” Aemond holds his arm for you, and you take it. He pulls you away from the others through the tent to the edge. You notice the looks of the Lord and Lady present on you, of course you also have a prince on your arm. Aemond is a lot taller than you, but he shortens his strides so you can walk comfortably next to him.
“Is Helaena all right?” he asks, as you stand next to the buffet of cakes, fruit, sweets, nuts and other pastries, as well as Dornish wine and other drinks. Aemond grabs a sweet tea from Essos, which you like to drink, and hands you a cup.
"Yes, but why don't you ask her yourself?"
“Mother says I sould not interfere much in this pregnancy. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Not important.” he answers you with an unmoved face. Is there anything that can upset Ameond?
“You don’t mean no truth for the public?” you repeat his words, even if you’re not so sure what it means. Maybe you should ask Aegon, after all, you're friends now, and you've already talked about not lying to your friends. Aegon calls it Tyrell Lessons, but you think that's sound ridiculous.
“No lie for the public. ” what Aemond tells you confuses you even more. You miss the time when your only connection to this family was Helaena and her strange dreams and riddles that may or may not predict the future.
The day drags on with boring conversations and too much sweet cake. The Queen does her best to entertain the ladies of the court, but the highlight of the day is when the hunting party sets off and returns. Seeing Aegon and Aemond on horses is a bit strange, especially with Aemond you can see that he usually rides a giant monster and not a small horse. Helaena sits bravely next to the Queen, you know she hates all the attention, but there's nothing you can do to help her except sit on the edge and give her a cheerful smile every now and then. The ladies of the court are so busy with their gossip that they don't even realize how meaningless it all really is. Maybe it's important to them, but you can´t bring yourself to care. Why does it matter which lord cheats on his wife with whom? You don't see the point. Some of the ladies are trying to get out of the Queen if Aemond has already chosen a bride.
“This is my son’s decision. ” she answers them in a diplomatic tone. Some of the older ladies tell Helaena about their pregnancies and births, but it's more of horror stories about pain and blood, so nothing that really helps her. But something bothers you about all this, every now and then the word heir comes up. Aegon is not his father's heir. He's the firstborn son, yes. But he is not the heir, so neither will his child inherit the Iron Throne. Jacaerys is his mother's heir, he will inherit the throne, not the unborn child in Helena's womb. It seems like all these ladies have forgotten. The day drags on, you have become sick from all the little cakes you have eaten, and when a horn sounds, announcing the return of the King's hunting party, you must suppress a sigh of relief. The King arrives at the head of the caravan riding back to camp. His sons next to him, while Aemond wears an unmoving face, you can tell by Aegon's face that he's in a terrible mood. His feet hardly touch the ground, as he calls a servant for a cup of wine. The men are slowly dispersed throughout the camp, the prey is sheared and prepared for the big feast in the evening. You stay at Helaenas side and sip your cup of wine.
“Finally, this horror is over. ” she whispers relieved. "Did you not like the attention of the ladies, Sister?" Ameond sounds a little amused, or at least what comes close to amused. He has walked to you so quietly, you didn´t hear him.
“Of course not. ” answers Helaena her brother. “How did you like the hunt?”
“Just as good as you like your day. ”
For a moment you hope for a quiet evening, but the King demands music, wine and dancing and so much of the camp turns into a drunken brawl. At least Aegon will have fun today. You sigh, but you don't say anything, and you try to stay in the background.
But Aemond doesn't seem to support your plan. “My Lady Tyrell will you accompany me for a few steps?”
“Of course. “ you're saying because you can't say no, Ameond holds his arm for you and you take him agaon. You walk side by side along the edge of the camp. Again, he shortens his steps so that you can walk beside him without any problems.
“You don’t really like these feasts. ” it is not a question, rather a statement. Actually, you are always looking forward to the feasts at court, you love to dance and be among people. But this hunt is not what it seems to be. The King claims it's to celebrate Helaena and Aegon, and their child. But this is all for the King alone. He wanted this hunt. Not Helaena or Aegon. So it all has a bitter aftertaste.
“Neither do you. ”
Aemond nods. “It’s exhausting. ”
“Yes.” your conversation is stalled because you don't know what to say to him. “How is the bridal show going?” you ask after the silence between you has become uncomfortable. It was the first thing that came to your mind.
Aemond laughs briefly and then shakes his head slightly. “I’m grateful for what you’re doing for Aegon. ” he won't answer your question and just changes the subject to his brother.
“What do you mean?” you ask confusedly.
“You’re a friend to him, that’s good for him. He’s not as restless as he used to be. I just wanted to say thank you. ” Aemond stops, behind you are hundreds of people drinking, talking and dancing to music. The prince kisses the back of your hand and nods lightly. “Thank you Y/N,” he says again, then turns away and goes to the others.
You take a deep breath, the air is filled with smoke and noise. There's a strange feeling inside you. Yes, Aegon has changed in recent weeks. Yes Project Friendship seems to work quite well. He's leaving Helaena alone, he's not being mean to you anymore, and according to Aemond, he seems to be feeling better. But it can't all be because you spend time with him now and then, can it? Would he go right back to his old ways if you didn't have time for him? You're feeling pressured, but the volume around you makes it hard for you to think in peace. You turn your back on the camp and walk a few steps into the Kingswood. As soon as the trees behind you are a little denser again, it will be quiet and you can breathe in the fresh air.
You still don’t fully understand the reason for his sudden behavioral reflection, even though you’re now sure that he’s not just pretending to want to change, but that he really wants to change. And you can help him with that. But do you really want to take full responsibility for Aegon's mood? Oh, no. It's not your job. Will he be cruel again if you fight? Your temples begin to throb with all this questions, and at the thought of going back to camp, an unpleasant feeling spreads in your stomach.
You just need a little rest and then you can rejoin the partying society to play the perfect lady. You continue to walk through the forest until you come to a small clearing. The light of the moon is no longer blocked from the treetops. The scene in front of you is almost romantic, but you have no head for it now. Talking to Aemond was confusing and you're tired of the whole day of pretending. Maybe you should talk to Aegon about your concerns? But how do you start such a conversation? A voice pulls you out of your mind.
“Your father keeps telling that you’re going to be the new princess, little Lady Tyrell. ” You turn to the side and recognize Lord Tristan Lannister. A son of Lord Tyland's cousin, or something like this, maybe a son from a Aunt? It doesn´t really matter. He speaks in a cold voice and comes over the small clearing where you stand. You freeze in your movement. Why is he lying? What does he even mean? What did your father say?
“Pardon me, I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” you answer honestly and want to move back to the hunting camp, but Tristan gets in your way.
“Yes, you innocent little Rose, what a good game you are playing. To pretend to be the princess friend in order to get close to her brother. My father is terribly angry you must know. For years he has maintained good relations with the King, brought my sister to court a year early only for a boring rose to snatch away her position? I don’t think so!”
“I really don’t know what you mean. Now leave me alone!” you hissed angrily, but the Lannister doesn’t back down from you, you know they tried to get Lord Jason or his twin brother engaged to Princess Rhaenyra, but that was years ago. Apparently they have now tried to suggest Lady Ellisan as a potential bride for Aemond, but what do you have to do with it?
"I'm not going to stand by and watch my family's efforts go down in the sand yet again, and I'm sure the Prince won't find any favour in a Lady with a disfigured face.” and with that, he grabs your arm. You reach out to punch him in the face, but he intercepts your hand and painfully twists your wrist. But suddenly he falters in his movement and his eyes become wide, you notice hot air in your back and the smell of sulfur is in the air.
“Is there a problem here?” Aegon's voice sounds cold as ice, but you've never been so glad to hear it.
The grip around your arm has loosened, and you manage to tear yourself loose and turn around. Aegon is right behind you, and behind him, still half hidden in the shadow of the trees, Sunyfre. The gold of his eyes shimmer in the dark, and with every breath he takes you can see golden flames in his throat. He's ready to spit fire any second. Aegon steps forward, grabs your arm, more carefully than you would have expected from him, and pushes you behind him, but he won't let go of your arm. You see the tension in his shoulders, and as you walked past him you saw the anger in his look, now you are glad that he is standing with his back to you, because his voice is just so full of hate that you shiver.
You try to focus on Tristan's words, but you can't. You feel the heat of the dragon breath far too much in your neck, you feel the heat it radiates through your body, and panicked anxiety rises in you. Aegon says something in high Valyrian and in that brief moment you resent the fact that you never even learned it in the first place. Helaena had offered to teach you words a few times, and you could have attended her classes too, But you didn't want to have anything to do with that strange language. Sunfyre suddenly roars up loudly a sound which sounds similar to a growl, only much more threatening.
"What's going on here?" suddenly the King came, kicked out of the forest, with two royal guards and the Queen at his side. The king is leaning on his walking stick, but his whole body is trembling with anger, and that doesn't make him seem as frail as usual, almost like the authority figure he's supposed to be. The Lannister boy turns to the side and you recognize the hint of a smile.
“The prince threatened me with his dragon! He was angry because I shot a deer in the morning, which he missed. He wanted revenge. Your Grace, please help me. ” He's such a good and convincing liar, you probably would have believed him yourself if you hadn't been there.
“How dare you Aegon!” the King yells at his son. "Don't worry Lord Tristan he'll leave you alone in the future. Go back to your father, I'll take care of it. " The Lannister almost runs from the meadow, and the Queen sends her sworn shield Ser Cristion after him.
“That’s not true at all.” Aegon says now, still angry, but the King does not listen to him.
“How can you frighten the poor boy, because of something as small as a hunt?” Sunfyre makes another angry roar and you twitch in horror as the golden monster stands up to its full size.
“Aegon, get your dragon under control. ”calls the Queen, but he does not respond and only watches Sunfyre gnashing his teeth and making a step on the King. He's on the same level as you two, you're getting close to Aegon, so he's between you and the dragon. There's something in Aegon's eyes that you can't figure out, but it scares you. Would the dragon spit fire without Aegon's command? The Queen opens her mouth, but Aegon is faster. “I have him under control.” then another Valyrian word and Sunfyr retreats behind Aegon.
“We don’t control the dragons! It’s not a pet. I thought I raised you better, but maybe you’re not up to the responsibility. ”
Aegon's eyes sparkle pure anger. “You didn’t raise me at all! You don’t care about me at all. ” after he yells, it's so quiet in the clearing that you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. The King shakes his head and turns around without a word and leaves the clearing, just like the Queen and the guards.
You want to follow them, but Sunfyre bumps his head to the side so that you look straight into his eyes, startled you back, sheer panic rises up. And you reach for Aegon's arm in terror, you know your grip is way too strong and he's probably hurting.
“Aegon!” your voice trembles with fear and you must suppress a sob.
“It’s okay. I told him to protect you. ” says Aegon and then add something in high Valyrian. The dragon turns its head to him and Aegon gently strokes over the golden scales on his nose. Sunfyre expels hot air through its nostrils. You can look into the dragon's eyes from here and you're surprised how much intelligence is behind it. You didn't even realize you raised your hand, but before you touch the golden scales, you twitch back.
“You can touch him. ”
“I don’t want to. ” You say and take a step back. “Thank you, Aegon. For helping me. ” Aegon nods and when you want to leave the clearing this time Sunfyre allows it.
You're surprised when you step back into the hunting camp, all the people drinking and laughing and talking like nothing happened. Because no one noticed. The sudden volume around you makes your temples pound again and the light of the fire burns in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the air here isn't so fresh anymore.
It smells of horses, fire, wine, meat and people. Right now everything is just too much for you, you just want to be alone. You turn towards your tent, but your father stands in your way.
Your father, who's obviously so drunk, he's talking all over the place that you are going to be the new princess of the realm. It's your father's fault! His stupid plans got you in the situation with the Lannisters. But why? And what is he planning anyway? Isn't it enough that he dragged you away from your family when you were barely old enough to speak? That he took you away from your mother? You'd never have a real relationship with her, you've been separated for too long. And it's all his fault!
An irrational rage rises in you, and for a split second, you want Aegon to burn him with Sunyre. But then you shake your head, the thoughts are not the truth, it's just the stress of the evening that makes you think like that. But if there wasn't some truth to it, where did these thoughts, this anger, come from? You have to suppress a sigh and blink a few times, the anger flies away as quickly as it came and remains an unimaginable numbness. You want to just disappear, but where? You have no answer except to just get away from everyone.
“Is everything all right, kid?”
“Yes, Father. ” You're lying, but you can't smile. Your father doesn't seem to notice, as drunk as he is.
“Good. ”
“I’m tired. Good night. ”
“Good night, my child. ” he strokes your hair and then turns to some men in Hightower green. You enter your family's tent and finally it's dark, but not completely quiet yet. You breathe deeply, your hair smells a little of sulfur and dragon, you would like to let yourself sink into a hot tub. You know there's hundreds of people out there, but you're still feeling unbelievably alone right now. The tent opens again and you turn around and expect your father to stand behind you, but it's Helaena. She doesn't say a word, but spreads her arms and you fall into her embrace. Out of nowhere, tears come into your eyes and you start to cry, your friend strokes your back and sways you lightly back and forth like a little child.
**
Your mood after the Royal hunt had only relaxed outwardly, you try to forget the memory of that evening as best you can, but you find that you feel more and more left alone. The contact with your family in Highgarden was always bad, but somehow you can't even answer your mother's letters anymore. You don't care what she thinks anymore. You notice how everything inside of you is reluctant to write a nice answer, as she expects from you. Although at first you were sad that Helaena now has to spend most of her time in her rooms, you are now at the point where you enjoy the dark room and the peace and quiet there. There, no one expects anything from you and you can sit on the comfortable sofa all day long, read or even just stare at the flames of the fire. You and Helaena have talked a lot about why you were suddenly so angry at your father, where that sudden hatred came from, but you haven't found a real solution. Helaena is not a real expert on paternal affection, but at least she still had her mother. The only thing she's convinced of is that fathers always want what's best for their children. Aemond had sent you a short letter apologizing for the incident with Lord Tristan Lannister and promising to take care of the matter, even if you don't know what that means. Nor why he's apologizing to you. He had nothing to do with it.
**
You sit next to Helaena on the soft sofa in her rooms and read some Dornish fairy tales. The fire next to you rattles quietly, the curtains are closed because the Master said so. But you know the sun is shining outside, but you still don't want to go out. You want to sit here in these dark rooms and forget about the world outside. But the world has not forgotten you. The door opens without knocking, and Aegon comes in without being asked in. You look up from the book and even Helaena turns completely to the door
“Aegon.” she says surprised and puts aside her handiwork.
“Sister.” He says, but then turn to yourself. "I've been looking for you."
“I was here. ” you answer. Aegon looks around the darkened rooms and then draws his eyebrows together.
“I thought we were going for a walk. The weather is nice. ”
“I’ll stay here. ” you say. Helaena looks back and forth between you, and then she starts talking.
“No, please Y/N enjoy the sun you don’t have to be locked in here with me. It’s boring here and if I have to be inside, you can enjoy the sun for both of us.”
“I’m not locked. . ” you start, but Aegon just interrupts you.
“You see, even my sister sees it that way. Come on. ” His voice is no contradiction and he holds his arm to you, but you ignore him and look to Helaena. She's smiling at you.
“For me?” and she won. You sigh and nod. Then you walk past Aegon without paying attention to his arm and leave Helaena's chambers for the first time in days. The Prince follows you quickly and it doesn't take long and you walk side by side through the beautiful gardens of the Reed Keep. The sun is burning on your skin but it's feels good.
“You shouldn’t lock yourself up with Helaena. ” Aegon starts after a moment, his gaze is attentive to you and you are uncomfortable. Why can't he just drink wine and fuck whores and leave you alone? Just like the last few years. But no, you had to feel sorry for the lonely prince. You regret your decision for a moment, but then you think back to Helena's bruises, the fear you've always had around Aegon, the night before he attacked you, the screaming in the guard, the desperate queen crying over her son's behavior, and you're glad that this person isn't the same person standing before you.
“I don’t lock myself in, I spend time with her. ”
"You're hiding. "
“That’s not true. ” you answer and stop, you folds your arms in front of youf chest and looks at him furiously. You feel like a defiant toddler anyway, so you can act like one.
“But you do. You hide with Helaena in the dark, and let her fill your head with her stupid riddles. ” insists Aegon, with that arrogant and at the same time bored tone that annoys you so terribly. Maybe the lonely, cruel prince isn't gone yet. But you didn't expect a 360-degree turn of character in a few months.
“You don’t have to be interested. ” you hiss at him, you notice a couple of people turning to you, and immediately you notice the blushes shooting in your cheeks. "Leave me alone. " You say, you didn't notice how loud your voice got.
Aegon's jaw is tightening, and you know he's pissed. Now he'd be yelling at you, you'd be arguing, and your friendship experiment has failed. But Aegon reacts completely differently, he sighs and steps towards you. He raises his hands defensively.
“I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just don’t want you to sink in a hole. ”
“I’m not sinking into a hole.” you give up your tense posture and breathe in the fresh air. “I should better go back inside. ”
“To sneak up with my crazy sister again. ” You roll your eyes and get mad at him again.
"Why are you so mean and dismissive of Helaena?" you ask now, you make sure you don't scream again. Why does he always have to call Helaena crazy? She's not! "I still remember a time when it was different. " You add that.
They're pale memories, memories of your childhood. A childhood where you grew up with Aegon, Aemond and Helaena, and you were somehow happy in a strange way.
"When we were kids?" Aegon asks, he holds his arm back to you, but you don't take it, you just walk next to him. There's no longer two steps between you, but that's okay with you. You nod at his question.
"Before my mother married me to my sister. Without my will. "
"It wasn't Helaena's will either. "
"I know. But it's been different since then. You said honesty is important with friends, so I want to be honest. I know my Tyrell lessons. “ He smiles at you from the side and you have to roll your eyes, but still you have to smile lightly. “But I haven’t told anyone yet."
"I won't talk to anyone about it. " you promise.
"After mum decided that I should marry Helaena, it was strange for me. I couldn't quite understand what it meant. And then at some point I realised what marriage meant. You know how my family is, so it wasn't quite as strange for me as it might have been for outsiders, but it was still strange. After all, she is my sister. I couldn't relate to her the way I did when we were kids. Not with the knowledge. So I started to ignore her. Then we got married. And you know how that marriage goes.” he laughs briefly, even though there's nothing funny about the situation.
Even though you resisted for a long time, even though you actually wanted to hate Aegon and for a while you did, you feel sorry for him. Over the years, you have turned Aegon into an enemy in your mind. Helaena's enemy and therefore your enemy. Even though he tried to mend his ways, you couldn't really forgive him for the way he treated Helaena all this time. But after his words, you realise that Aegon has no choice either. Yes, Helena probably doesn't deserve Aegon. But Aegon doesn't deserve all the suffering his family has put him through either. And if you're honest, you haven´t even try to understand him the whole time, you just hated him. Because that was easier for you. Black and white is easier than grey.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure it's not easy for you either."
"Thanks. But there’s no reason to make things any harder for Helaena.” You are surprised by this admission, or was it more of a statement? "I know we have a duty. As Tagaryans, as monarchs, as part of this family. But I can't share the bed with her sober. I've tried, honestly. But I can't, so I drink and bring it quickly behind me. I don't want to hurt her at all. She is my sister and I love her as my sister. But at the same time it makes me so angry that she is also my wife and that I have to share the bed with her. I can hardly look at her face anymore because I'm so ashamed.”
A single tear runs down his cheek, Aegon quickly wipes it away, but you saw it. You don't know what to say, you can't find the right words. Are there even right words for something like this? So you reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly, you want to show him that he is not alone with his feelings.
“Thanks for telling me that.”
Aegon looks at you in surprise and then smiles slightly. “It feels good to have talked about it.” he squeezes your hand ever so slightly. Then he sighs. “Well, luckily the problem has been solved for now.”
"Are you happy?"
He snorts. “Do you want an honest answer?”
"Of course."
“I have no idea what I´m feeling,” he says after a moment. You nod, not knowing what to say again. "I'm not happy, but Its not like that I don't care either. I don't know." He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t want to think about it.”
You actually want to say something more, but you bite your lip. You want Aegon to respect your boundaries, so you have to respect his too.
“Alright.” You say and stop again. You close your eyes and hold your face in the sun, maybe it wasn't good for you to sit in the dark for several days.
After a moment you continue to walk in silence and as you start moving again you realize that you are still holding Aegon's hand, your fingers intertwined together, completely unconsciously. Surprised by this you release your hand from his, you feel his gaze on you, but you don't turn around to look him in the face. You just keep walking and he walks beside you in silence. The beautiful weather not only drove you two out of the Red Keep, but countless others as well. You notice how they keep giving you looks. But you don't care, you now understand that it doesn't matter what you do.
People would talk about you anyway, judge you and assume things about you. Your father used to tell you that you had to behave perfectly at court and that you couldn't make any mistakes. And you've lived your whole life based on it. You tried to be perfect. And what did it bring you? Insinuations, lies, and the clarity that this world is unfair.
For a split second you consider reaching for Aegon's hand again, knowing there will be talking, but you quickly change your mind. A comfortable silence spreads between you. You try not to think about anything and concentrate on the beautiful gardens, trying to get the faint memory of Highgarden back in your mind at the same time, but you were so young when you were taken away that it's hard for you.
You stand on one of the bushes and scratch over the open flower. From somewhere you hear a familiar melody playing and you close your eyes. You breathe the warm summer air and for a moment you are tempted to imagine what your life would have been like if you hadn't been brought to court. How different it would have been if you had grown up in Highgarden. Aegon's hand on your back takes you away from your thoughts, the touch is slightly, and when you open your eyes again and turn to him, he has already take one step back and you're not sure if you just imagined his touch.
"Do you feel better?“ he asks. You're shaking your head.
"No. But I'm gonna figure it out. I just feel lonely.” you answer honestly.
"You are not." he says, trying to bring a smile to his lips. Then he is quiet, maybe he doesn't know what else to say. Aegon turns in the direction from which the melody of the harbour comes. "The Knights of the Rose." he says after a moment and you are surprised that he knows the song. "Mother used to sing it for me to sleep."
You almost forgot that the Queen is from Old Town. The big city in the Reach shares the same culture as Highgarden
“My Nursemaid did this too.” when you came to King's Landing, she accompanied you. But she was old and left you shortly after your first moonblood."You are now grown up, my child. You don't need me anymore." You're shaking your head to shake away your thoughts about the past. "I want to go back." you say after a moment. This time Aegon doesn´t contradict and accompany you on your way back to Helana's rooms.
"I will go looking for Aemond," he says when you reach the interior of the castle, the alleys are cool on your sun-heated skin. "If you allow My Lady Tyrell, my brother and me will attend dinner with you and my Lady sitster today?“
You laugh at his formal tone for a moment, and then you sneeze.
“Helaena would be happy.”
"And you?“
"I´m too.” You answer honestly and give Aegon a smile.
**
The summer is moving forward and a tournament is being prepared for the King's Nameday in a few weeks. To your surprise, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived with her children and her uncle-husband Daemon.
The Red Keep is now even more full than usual and the usual chaos is increased again. In Helaena's rooms, fortunately, you don't get so much of it. But you're not the only one who uses her rooms as a secret retreat to hide from the royal court. The princes do the same. Aegon curses Rhaenyra and her annoying sons most of the time. Aemond calls them bastards and Helaena and you sit in silent. In the meantime, you can already see a small rounding of her belly. The princess react to the news of the pregnancy with a smile and "My congratulations sweet sister." After that she continued to ignore Helaena and her other siblings. But it's not like Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond behave differently. Most of the time they get away from the princess, her husband and their sons.
Dinner now takes place regularly in Helaena's rooms. You feel comfortable with the siblings, even if you don't really belong to them, they won't show you. You feel like you four have a little secret bond. It's a nice feeling to be part of it. Every time Aemond enters his sister's room, he pulls away the heavy curtains from the windows and lets the light of the evening sun in.
"The Masters have said that the sun is not good for Heleana."
"Nonsense. Everywhere, healthy children are born, even though their mothers are still working on the fields.”
"Fuck the masters." Aegon accepts his brother and helps himself with the wine. So you stop complaning after the second day. Maybe they're both right.
You sit at the table next to Helaena. The servants have already brought dinner, and you're giving yourself some wine from one of the pots. The princes sat opposite you and you started eating.
"You flew today, right?“ Helaena turns to her brothers, you know she misses her dragon, even though she does not fly often.
"Yes Vaghar has graciously hanged Sunfryre."
"She's three times as big as him." Aegon immediately defends his dragon.
“I won anyway. Usually, he's a little bit nimble."
Aegon turns his eyes. "He wasn´t in the right headspace."
"What do you mean?“ Helaena asks anxiously.
"I don't know. I just feel that he's restless. Something's wrong."
"You feel it?" you ask now confused. What does that mean?
"Yes," says Aegon as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"We have a kind of bond with our dragons." Aemond starts explaining and he sounds like the Septa who taught you. "A connection. We can feel when something is not right, they can feel if something is wrong with us. They will find us wherever we are.”
You look at them in surprise, to be honest, you've never paying attention to the monsters they're riding on, your fear is too buf. But a bond between rider and dragons? You didn't expect that.
"The Dragonkeeper say Aegon and Sunfrey's bond is the strongest they've seen in years." say Helaena, surprised you look at Aegon and notice that his ears become slightly red. You hide a smile by taking a sip of wine.
"Enough of dragons." Aegon ends the topic.
"The dragon dances over the fire of the river." says Helaena suddenly in a serious tone.
Aemond looks at her confused, while Aegon rolls his eyes. "Please, sister, no riddels."
"Let her." you say quickly, but Helaena retreats and begins to play with the small wooden figures of dragons, beetles and spiders on the table.
Angry, you turn to Aegon. "You made her angry." Helaena needs a lot of rest right now because of her pregnancy and you know it's difficult for her when no one listens and understands her.
"I didn't. It makes no sense at all what she says, rivers are not made of fire and dragons do not dance!“
“But...” Aegon doesn't let you say anything, but turns his eyes and gives a sigh of himself.
"It is enough if Helaena has only her riddels in her head, not you too."
Angry at his ignorance, you loudly drop your fork into your plate and sparkle it. "If you just listen to her, you could help find out what the mysteries mean." Aegon just starts laughing. No cheerful laughter, no, he's laughing at you, directly in your face. Anger rises in you, you breathe deep to calm down.
Aemond puts his cup loudly on the table and throws a angry look at you and Aegon. "Helaena shouldn't be upset." He says in a strict tone.
"Aegon upsets her."
"Your bickering upsets her." answers Aegon. God, you want to wipe his arrogant smile off his face! Why does he make you so angry again? And so fast.
"Stop laughing." You are suddenly screaming, surprised by your outburst of anger Helaena and Aemond tremble together. Aegon stops laughing and looks at you surprised. You bite your lip and look to the ground ashamed. "I'm sorry." You say quickly. You shouldn't have screamed
“Y/N.” Aegon's voice is quiet now and you look up again to look at him. “I’m sorry, too. I will listen to Helaena from now on.” Aegon turns to his sister. "I'm sorry I upset you."
Helaena is still playing with the wooden figures, but she's looking at you and her brother. Then she smiles shy. "It's okay. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying. Really Y/N. You don't have to fight for me all the time."
Yes you have to! That's your job. You're her best friend. You have to protect her. But you don´t want to upset her again, so you keep quiet.
You finish your meal in unpleasant silence.
Afte Aegon ccompany you back to your cambers, you would have preferred to go alone, but he insisted. You are silent as you walk through the hallway."
"Are we still friends?" Aegon suddenly breaks the silence.
You are surprised by the uncertainty in his voice and you look at him from the side.
"Of course." you say quickly.
Aegon is nods. "Good. I was just af..." he interrupts himself. "Good."
You're coming to your door.
"Sleep well, Aegon." You tell him and open your door. Aegon looks past you into your room, he's never been in your room before, so you can understand his curiosity.
"Sleep well little Rose."
"Little Prince." you say, courtsey and laugh at his turning eyes before you go into your rooms. You give up calling your maid and getting yourself ready for bed. You have a bad conscience because you've become so angry at dinner, but you're upset when Aegon is so arrogant. And if he ignores Helaena. You don't really feel like somebody's interested in her riddles. But she sees the future. Or? Nobody believes that, so why are you so sure? What do you know about Tagaryen magic? You put the thought aside and lie down in your soft bed.
**
The masters threw you out of the princess's chambers for a examination, but before you even got close to your rooms, Aegon caught you to play a round of cards with him in the garden. So you sit in one of the pavilions and have servants bring you wine and cakes. After your second cup, you put your hand on your cup when the servant wants to refill. It's pretty early in the day and you don’t want to spend the rest of the day drunk.
"You're boring." Aegon laugs and wins the next round of your game.
"That's not true!" you say.
"Of course, you always behave like a perfect lady. Always stay behind the walls of the Red Keeps and do what your father tells you. When was the last time you were in Kings Landing?"
His words make you a little angry. You don't always do what your father tells you to do, you just listen to your father, even if it hurts you. You're his daughter, you have to listen to him, and he always wants the best for you. That's what Helaena said, fathers always want the best for you.
"It's dangerous there." You answer Aegon's question, you've been out of town for a long time, not without guards.
"No! It's exciting. Come with me to the city for one night. Have a little fun. And don't worry, I'll keep you safe.”
There's a strange feeling under your skin, and even if you know it's dangerous and you'll regret it, the offer is too tempting in a strangely way.
"But only one night." you agree.
Aegon laughs triumphantly at you. "Perfect. I'll send you a message with our meeting point and the way." he says, pushes the cards together and stands up swinging.
"I know the way."
Aegon laughs. "Little Rose, you can't just walk through the Red Keep in the middle of the night and walk out through the gates. But don't worry, there are plenty of other ways out of here."
"Other ways?"
"Secret passages, they're built in order to escape safely in the event of an attack."
You're surprised and surprised that Aegon knows these secrets. You didn't know that the place you've lived in for almost your whole life is full of secret passages.
"See you tonight," he says with an grin, and letting you sit alone in the garden, how impolently.
**
"My Lady. A gift from the prince." A servant handed you a beautifully carved wooden box. You don't open it because you know it's the message with the directions.
"Thank you. Have a nice day." The servant is apparently surprised that you don't send the gift back as usual, but he leaves your rooms right away.
You put the wooden box on the table and you open it, not only comes out a directions, with a secret passage that begins a corridor in front of your rooms and ends outside the Red Keep, but also clothes, men's clothing. You take them in your hand and you get a familiar smell, Aegon. He sent you his clothes, probably so you could slip out better. A strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty is rising up in you. It's stupid to sneak out. It's dangerous. It is absolutely inappropriate. But then you remember your father's behavior. You deserve to behave inappropriately! At least for one night. Then you'll be the perfect lady again, but you deserved a night of freedom. So you get dressed in the evening and get on your way through the secret passages. You follow the directions and when you get scared you might have lost the right way you step around a corner and stand in front of an old door. To your surprise, it's easy to open. The next moment you step out into the dark night, the air is cool but not uncomfortable.
"Finally." you shake together as Aegon appears next to you. He does not wear his usual, decorated dresses, but dark pants and a simple shirt, yet still of high quality and made of expensive fabrics.
"I was already afraid I was going to get lost and die in these tunnels," you answered him. Aegon laughs.
"Don't worry, little Rose, I would've been looking for you." He's whining at you."Ready?" he laughs. It's probably not half as exciting for him as it is for you. He must have spent thousands of nights in the city to celebrate and visit brothels. You hope he won't take you to a brothel. You decide to trust him. Trust is important in friendship. You nod and follow Aegon down a narrow staircase on the edge of the Keep.
The city summons in a strange way, everywhere were people on the streets, they promoted goods from stands, wine, meat, bread, sweets. Somewhere music plays, there is a theater in a small square, lights are all over the narrow streets.
You could look around for hours and still not have seen everything. You've never been to Kings Landing at night and not near Flew Bottom. Aegon turns to one of the market stands and comes back in the next moment with two cups full of dark beer. Carefully you take a swallow and have to suppress a cough at the bitter taste.
"It is always like this?” you ask surprised.
"No. The smallfolk are celebrating the Night of the Smith today.”
"What?" you ask confused. The feast of the Smith would take place at the end of the week and it is not actually a feast. “The Smith is honored by practicing one day in restraint, water instead of wine, bread instead of cake.” you remember your lessons on the Seven.
Aegon takes a sip of his beer.. "It's good that I don't believe in the Seven. Restraint is not my thing. And the smallfolk celebrate differently than we do, do you really think they need a day by practicing restraint when they don't have enough money for food every second day?“
You swallow once, you know you're privileged, but you don't think about it often. Actually, never. You, outside of your maids and servants, don't come into contact with the smallfolk. "You're right." You say and you're ashamed of your stupidity.
Aegon laughs again and then touches your hand slightly. "Come little Rose, there's no reason to let the mood go down."
"I am not a little rose." you complain as you follow him down the crowded streets.It seems that none of the people had any concerns. People talk, dance, laugh and drink. And all this on the open road.
"Yes you are." Aegon laughs and drinks his cup empty. Then he noods at your cup, which is almost full. You're quick to take a couple of sips too. Aegon smiles at you, an honest smile that he rarely shows.
"Come." He's holding your hand out and you take it. Excitement creeps under your fingertips, where your skin touche his. Aegon close his hand around yours and draws you along the street. The city is noisy and full, but you feel good. When you come to a small place, you finally see where the music comes from. A group of musicians are playing on the edge of the square and the people are dancing and drinking. It is not the dance steps that you dance at court, everyone simply moves to the music as it pleases him. Children rotate quickly in a circle, couples weigh each other tightly wrapped back and forth. A few young girls are guided by men through simple steps with quick turns.
"A dance?" asks Aegon from the side. You drink your cup empty with and nord.The prince pulls you between the dancing people, his hand is on your back, while his other still holds yours. You move to the music, you weigh easily back and forth. It takes a moment, but then you find your rhythm with each other, with the music, with the people around you. A faster song is played, Aegon makes you turn around yourself several times and when you get slightly dizzy and as you stagger to the side his hand is there to supports you and draws you backt to him so that you do not lose balance. You giggle stupidly, moving to music, and when you're taken by a group of young girls and when your are laughing together in a circle, you feel freer than ever in your life. Here and now, no one expects you to dance the perfect dance steps or to be a perfect lady. Nobody knows you here and it feels good. You dance with the strange girls for a while, and then you dance with Aegon again. At some point, you move on through the streets, you drink a lot of beer and taste sweet fruits and drink a juice that strangely burns in your throat and causes you to cough.
"Little Rose, this is not the wine you drink at Red Keep, be careful." Aegon laughs, takes the cup out of your hand and drinks it for you empty. He doesn't even grimaces.
You rolled your eyes and grinned at him. “I thought we would have fun today little prince.” You say challengingly. Aegon laughs and you laugh out loud too. You don't even care that a few people are looking at you strangely. You don't think and grab Aegon's hand to pull him further down the street. You want to see everything before this evening is over.
The sun rises over the city as you approach the Red Keep again. Your hand is still in Aegon's, it feels good. Aegon leads you past the high wall to a small door, it's not the same path you took on the way outside, but you follow him without hesitation into the dark hallways behind the door. The air here is musty and when the door closes behind you it is dark all around you. You squeeze Aegon's hand a little tighter just to make sure you don't lose him. The beer and wine you drank gave your head a light cloud, but you're fine. You walk through the dark hallway.
Aegon opens a door and you come through another hallway. It's a little brighter here, light comes from small openings in the wall from above. However, the ground is muddier and after a few steps you slip. Surprised, Aegon also slips slightly to the side and your back hits the wall, but you manage to catch you. Aegon is now standing directly in front of you.
This situation would scare you a few month ago, but not now. Not just because you drank a little too much, but because you really trust Aegon. He raises his hand and carefully pushes a strand of hair out of your face. His eyes move from yours to your lips and then back to your eyes.
“Did you have fun?” he asks and he is so close to you that you can feel his breath on your skin.
“Yes.” You answer honestly. "And you?"
"Yes. You are a better company than the one I have usually."
You laugh. "Thank you I take it as a compliment to be a better conversation partner than your whores."
Aegon also laughs quietly, he comes half a step closer to you. He's so close to you now that you can feel the warmth of his body. A nervous tingling form under your skin. You have to swallow, looking nervously to the side, because you can't stand his gaze. The alcohol in your blood makes it difficult for you to think, and Aegon's smell surrounding you confuses you. Aegon's hand lies on your cheek and he gently turns your head, so you have to look at him. He bends a little, then stops again. You can feel your heart thundering in your chest and the blood pulsates through your ears.
"May I kiss you?" His voice is hardly a whisper, so quietly he speaks. A hot shiver is passing through your body. You want his lips on yours, this sudden recognition makes you shake. But it's wrong. You can't want him. You shouldn't want him.
"Friends don't kiss eachother." you get out breathless. His proximity is confusing, and you almost don't notice how to prevent yourself a little, you want to yield to the desire. You want to kiss him. In the next second, reality breaks over you. That's wrong! Aegon is your friend. You're drunk. That's wrong. "We can't." you say in a firm voice, you are surprised by yourself, but you turn your head a little to the side and push him a bit away from you. He allows it, steps a step back, but he does not stumble.
"Come. I'll bring you back, you have to go to your rooms before anyone notices you've disappeared."
Confused, you stand at the wall for a moment, hot shame rises in you. This moment was absolutely inappropriate, even though nothing happened. You take a deep breath and you realize that Aegon is already gone. You're afraid he left you here in the secret hallway, but you can hear his voice just a few steps away from you.
“Y/N?”
"Yes," you answer him, your voice sounds strange in your ears. Aegon holds his hand back for you, and you take it. He leads you through the dark hallways until you come out again in the hallway near your rooms. Just a corner and you'll be safe back in your rooms without being caught. You're a little proud of yourself that you actually succeeded in slipping out of the Red Keep. You're turning around the corner and froze. Your father is standing in front of your door, he must have been about to knock. Gods, why is he here so early? Your father turns around when he hears footsteps and when he recognizes you, still in men's clothes, with messy hair, his eyes darken.
"Y/N!" his voice trembles of anger and your heart is shaking. Damn it, you're in a lot of trouble now. Your father comes to you and you know that if he comes a little closer, he'll smell the alcohol in your breath. "Where do you come from? And what do you look like?"
"Father I can..." you start, but you are interrupted by Aegon, who suddenly appears behind you and places his hand on your back as he stands very close to you. God, what's he doing?
"Lord Tyrell," he says, and he sounds much more drunk than he did a few minutes ago. "It's nice to see you. Don't worry about Lady Y/N. I just wanted to escort your beautiful daughter safely to her rooms."
"My prince." your father sounds insecure. You've never heard his voice like that before.
Aegon puts slight pressure on your back so you move and go to your cambers.
"My Lady Tyrell. I wish you a pleasant morning," he says, kissing your hand and winks to you. On his lips lies the smile of a little boy who had successfully stolen chocolate from the kitchen.
"My Prince." You curtsy and go to your room. You breathe deeply and exhale. Even though you've been awake all night, you feel euphoric rather than tired. You wait another 10 minutes for your father to come after you and preach to you, but he doesn´t come. So you call your maid and let you take a bath. You try to review what happened all night, but your thoughts are always hanging at that moment in the dark secret passage. A few more inches and you'd have kissed. You can feel your cheeks getting red again. Gods. What are you doing? Aegon is your friend! He's your best friend's husband! And you almost kissed him. You have to make a distance between you two. Not emotionally, no, but physically. This must never happen again.
Your father come to your rooms in the afternoon. "Sit down, my child." He says you're swallowing and falling on the chair. Nervously, you start playing with your sleeves. Now the sermon would come. "I'm proud of you."
Your gaze hurries up at his words and you know that your confusion is written in your face. You expected everything from screaming, or threats, to an instruction to go back to Highgarden, but not that. "Pardon me?“
"I'm proud of you. You wrapped both princes around your finger. Very well done.“ You are sure you don't. You want to answer your father, but he just keeps talking. "But you have to concentrate on one, my child. There's been talk. When it comes to marriage, your virtue must be exalted above any doubt. Prince Aegon is already married, so please concentrate on Prince Aemond. You'll be a princess, that's better than a prince's mistress. Isn't that wonderful?"
What? What wedding? What's he talking about? None of this is wonderful. "But Father I don´t want Aemond... I… I don´t want to marry the prince."
Your father looks angry at you now. "What are you talking about? You will be a princess."
"I don't want to be a princess," you insist.
"Don't talk nonsense. Your marriage to Aemond will give our family a lot of influence. That's a good thing. Do what I tell you, my child." he kisses your hair and then leaves your rooms without a word. Confused, you stay sitting and staring at the closed door. That was a joke, wasn't it? You don't really understand what this conversation was supposed to be about. You leave your rooms to go for a little walk to get your head free. You know you don't want to marry Aemond. But your father expects that from you. But can you really live a life with a man you don't love and do not want to marry just to make your father happy? No. But what are you supposed to do? Can you do anything at all?
You are ripped out of your mind when you hear your name. You turn around, Aegon comes to you. Immediately shame rises up in you, but Aegon has a smile on his face.
"And was your father with you?" When he arrives by you, he holds his arm out for you. You hesitate a second but then take his arm. Aegon turns you in the opposite direction, so you go towards the gardens. Forgotten is your intention to not come close to him physically anymore.
"Yes, I thought he would get angry, but he wasn't. He says he's proud of me because I wrapped two princes around my finger." When you repeat your father's words, you feel bad. Aegon starts to laugh quietly and shakes his head. You actually thought he was gonna get angry.
"What else did he say?“ he asks and acts like a curious boy.
"That I should concentrate on Aemond, because it is better to be a princess than a prince's mistress."
This time Aegon laughs loudly. "Why? Isn't it enough for him that I like you and put a little prince bastard in your belly? I am insulted."
There was this direct kind again that made you so angry not so long ago, but now you have to laugh.
"That's not funny at all," you say anyway. "What does he think I'm doing all day? I didn't wrap anyone around the finger. Not you, and not Aemond. Why isn't he angry? He even supports that. What does he imagine?“ the words just come out of your mouth. Aegon stops, so you have too. And suddenly you realize that your father told you the first time he was proud of you. Because he thinks you've seduced two men.
Tears rise in your eyes at this thought. Aegon looks confused about your sudden change of mood. He gently raises his hand, but before it touches your cheek, he stops.
"Can I?“he asks quietly and you nod. He wipes a hair out of your face and then leaves his hand on your cheek. "He wants to make you a princess. He wants power and influence and that's what he wants through you.“
You're swallowing. "Why?" you ask, and it sounds desperate and sad. A strange mixture of anger, sadness and confusion rises up inside you and you don't know how to deal with all of that. You don't know what to do. Listen to your father? Seduce Aemond and become a princess? But you don't want that! You don't want that in any case!
"Because it's always so," replies Aegon. His voice sounds emotionless, as if he were quoting facts from a book. "Who do you think brought my mother into my father's bed? Otto Hightower, her father."
"Are all fathers like that?"
"I don't know, my father barely speaks more than three sentences a week with me. If at all. Or he's yelling at me." Aegon shakes his shoulders, hatred flashes in his eyes, but the short glimmer disappears immediately when he looks at you.
You sighs when you realize what kind of place you're actually living in. This place was full of liars, and men all pursuing their own goals. They all want more wealth and power and influence on the king.
"I don't want to be a princess." you say quietly. You don't want anything like that. You don't want to be Aemond's wife, you do not want to live in the Reed Keep. You don't want to be a figure in your father's game of more power. You just want your peace. You want to sit in the sun, eat cakes and listen to Helaena talking about beetles.
"You don't have to," said Aegon with compassion.
"But my father. I can hardly tell him that I will do nothing."
"Then don't tell him." Aegon shrugged his shoulders. "Lie to him, I always do this with my mother.“
"You know she knows you're lying to her?“
"Of course."
"It hurts her."
"I know. But no matter what I do or not do, she is disappointed in me anyway.”
"That's not true." you're trying to get him up, but Aegon just shakes his head.
"Let us stay with you and your father." you turn your eyes at his words, but he keeps talking. "As I see it, you have two options. First, you stick to Aemond and get him to marry you. I'm honest, if you asked him, he'd choose you. He would be a good husband to you, would do his duty." with his words, everything in you is drawn together. You don't want to associate your marriage with the words duty, even if it's a hypothetical marriage to the prince."Or option two, you give a fuck about what your father says to you and just have fun in your life and lie to him. So what are you going to do little Rose?”
"He could send me away." the thought of leaving Helaena alone makes you ill.
"Helaena would never allow that."
You have to laugh a little about the confident in his voice. Your reality is so different, even though you live in the same place.
“She would not be able to do anything if my father decides I have to leave.”
"She's a princess, she can order you to stay."
"The king would have to agree, she is just a princess."
Aegon becomes aware of the scope of your words. "Then I insist that you stay. I am a prince, your father can do nothing against me."
His words make you smile. "So which option do you choose, one or two?“ asks Aegon now again in a better mood.
"Two," you answer, and you feel like you're doing something forbidden, even if you are only thinking about lying to your father. Aegon laughs at your words like a boy whom sweets are allowed.
"Very well, little Rose, let's have fun."
"I know your definition of fun, but I don't think I have that much pleasure in wine, whores and gambling." you answer as a joke, but Aegon's gaze is darkened.
"Do you really think that's the only things that interests me?“
"No!" you say quickly, even if you are not sure what his interests are. You know he likes history, even though he hates reading books. You know he loves his dragon. You know his favorite Wine is a red one from Dorne. He has a preference for long nights and likes to dance, even if he doesn´t do it often. "I'm sorry. What do you want to do?“
"We can go to Sunfyre," he suggests.
"No." you say quickly, you would prefer bordels and wine.
"You've lived here for years and you're still afraid of dragons."
"They are monsters."
"Sunfyre is not a monster."
"Sunfyre may not, but dragons. They are dangerous, unpredictable, wild and uncontrollable.” on Aegon's face appears a smile and his eyes flash short, then he bites himself on the lip. You're putting your head wrong. "What?“
"Nothing."
You're pulling your eyebrows together. "Tell me what you think."
Now the prince laughs and shakes his head. “No way. You're a lady." You look at him confused.
"What?“
"Come little Rose. A walk by the water will do us good, it's almost fun." he then says and nods towards the walls that separate the Red Keep from the sea. He holds his arm back and you take it without hesitation. You don't talk about the moment in the hallway. But that's okay for you. You even prefere it like this, so you don´t die out of embarrasment.
When you fall into bed early in the evening completely exhausted you breathe out relieved, you were not awake for so long. You close your eyes and you fall asleep in almost the same second. That night you dream of Aegon. You dream that you gave him this kiss. You let him kiss you and let him go further than an unmarried lady should allow.
**
You're sitting in Helaena's rooms, you've removed the curtains, it's raining all day and dark clouds are drawing over the sky. The fire burns in the fireplace and releases a pleasant heat. You read to Helaena in a quiet voice. A book about folklore from the north, there are stories about the others, Direwolves, Mammots, Giants and other magical animals that no longer exist.
"I have to go to Dreamfyre." Helaena interrupts you so suddenly at an exciting place that you flinch. You look up and only now notice that your friend probably hasn't listened to you in a long time.
“Now?” you ask surprised. "Why?" it rains in streams outside and you sit here in the warm and dry cambers, why leaving?
"I have to," she answers you, even if that doesn't answer your question at all. "Please Y/N, come with me." Of course you go with her.Does it have anything to do with the bond between dragon and rider? A short time later you sit in a carriage, on your way to the Dragonpit. The rain rushes to the roof of the wagon, the drumming of the drops makes you nervous, and Helaena's sudden restlessness doesn't help either. She grabs your hand for a moment, but then immediately releases it and looks out the window of the cart.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes. I have to go to Dreamfyre.”
"We're there in a minute."
Your journey don´t take long, and you and Helaena quickly run to the entrance, so that you do not get completely wet. When the heavy door falls behind you, you take a deep breath. You winkel your nose at the stink. Helaena turns directly to the dragonkeeper, the two turning to the center, where a ramp leads down. But you keep standing still on the wall, being in the Dragonpit is actually a lot too close to the dragons. Why couldn't you stay at the Red Keep? Helaena and the dragonkeeper disappear from your search field and you remain alone in the big hall.
A hiss catches your attention and at the next moment Sunfyre comes through one of the entrances into the Dragonpit, where are the Dragonkeeper? Why can he run around freely?
“What are you doing here?” you flinch when you hear Aegon's voice. He slips from his saddle and lands next to Sunfire's leg. He wears black leather with the inserted signet of his house. He's already taken off his gloves and he's completely wet. Individual drops of rain fall from his blonde hair. Sunfyre turns from Aegon to you and comes a few steps toward you, black smoke threads coming from his nostrils.You shy away from the golden monster. "You don't have to be afraid." You look at him in disbelief. Aegon strokes the dragon's neck.
"Come here."
“No.”
Aegon rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Don’t worry little Rose.”
You want to tell him that you're not Little Rose, but the way you're standing against the wall, scared, you don't believe yourself. Pride takes hold of you and you slowly take a few steps closer until you stand next to Aegon and Sunfyre. "Can I take your hand?" you nod. Aegon takes your hand. His skin is cold from the rain outside, but you still feel like a warm shiver is running down your arm. Aegon places your hand carefully on Sunfyre's neck. The dragon's skin feels different than you thought. You thought the scales were cold and hard, but the dragon radiates incredible heat. “See not dangerous.” Aegon is so close to you that his breath tickles your ear and you get goosebumps on the back of your neck. Your hand carefully strokes the dragon's neck. Sunfyrer holds still, but his eyes watch you carefully.
“I always thought dragons didn’t like strangers.” you say quietly and lower your hand, but Aegon doesn’t let go.
“It depends on the dragon. They are like us, have preferences, hate things, like certain hunting areas. And you’re not a stranger.”
You turn slightly to look at him questioningly, you were never as close to the dragon as you are now. “I told him about you.”
You’re just speechless for a moment. “Why?” your voice doesn’t sound like your voice at all, it sounds thin.
“I tell him everything that happens in my life.” Aegon answers you and then he smiles at his dragon. He looks at least 2 years younger than he is. "He is my best friend. For a while he was my only friend." Aegon strokes the dragon's neck lovingly, then he turns completely to you, his one hand is still in yours and he plays with your fingers.
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
You just stare at him speechless for a moment. Yes, Aegon had insisted on your friendship. He practically begged you to be his friend, but hearing that from him still somehow surprises you. And it makes you happy in a strange way.
“I’m glad too that we are friends.” you answer him and you mean it. Yes Aegon is your friend. Even a good friend, oddly enough.
Your gaze goes from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. How would his lips feel on yours? You take a step back to put distance between you and Aegon. This man is your best friend's husband! And your friend. But Aegon takes another step towards you, his hand finds yours again and your fingers intertwine almost automatically. It's a strange feeling, but also somehow nice.
“Y/N…” he starts but a loud roar from the dragon pit makes you both flinch. Aegon narrows his eyes. "Dreamfyre."
“What?” How does he know? It could have been any of the dragons down there. The princess's children had, of course, brought their dragons with them from Dragonstone. Syrax and Caraxes are also down there.
“Wait here.” Aegon turns away and runs towards the dragon pit, worry sparkling in his eyes.
“No Aegon! Wait." but he's already gone and you're standing next to Sunfyre, unsure, confused and frustrated with yourself and him.
The dragon seems to be watching you. “You’re not eating me, are you?” you then ask and almost laughed at yourself. Dragons only understand high Valyrian. Or? Do they even understand it or are they just reacting to it? Is it magic? You don't know enough about dragons to answer these questions. Can anyone actually answer these questions? Sunfyre turns his head in the direction Aegon disappeared, but he remains standing next to you. You think for a moment and then raise your hand again to stroke his golden scales. His eyes flicker to you briefly, but he makes no move to eat you and remains motionless. You don't know how long you wait, but at some point you hear footsteps and the next moment Aegon comes back upstairs with Helaena at his side. Your best friend is crying and her dress is dirty and a little smeared with blood. Cold fear runs down your spine, you run towards the two.
“What happened?” you ask breathlessly and let your gaze roam over Helaena, but apart from a scraped arm she doesn’t seem to be injured.
"Arrax." Aegon's voice drips with anger. You don't know whose dragon Arrax is, but Aegon seems to know.
You take Helaena carefully in your arm, she's trembling.
"I'm fine," she says, trying to give you a brave smile. "The baby too."
The way back to the Red Keep is quiet, Aegon sits next to Helaena and looks at her all the time worried, even though she assures him that she's fine.
"I will kill this bastard and his fucking dragon."
You know everything you're saying right now won't do anything to calm him down, so you shut up and keep holding Helaena's hand. When you arrive in the castle yard, Aegon jumps out of the wagon and rushes inside. You help Helaena out, and you go inside together. The door closes behind you, and Aemond comes to you.
"What happened? Aegon seems..." he stinks when he sees his sister. His gaze goes over her and there is pure concern in his eyes. "angry." he then ends his sentence. "Sister, are you all right? What happened?“
"Arrax has come too close to Dreamfyre," she replies. "She was worried about me. I fell."
Aemond pulls his eyebrows together. "Go to the Master," he says.
"Y/N, please bring her."
"Of course." you say and drag Helaena in the direction of the master's rooms. But you don't get there, Sir Criston Cole, the queen's sworn sword, gets you two passes in advance.
"Princess, Lady Y/N the King demands your presence in the Throne room."
"She has to see the master first." you contradict without thinking, and only then you notice that you have contradicted a direct order of the king, and fear shrinks in your stomach. Sir Cole's face turns a little, and he's nibbling. Nevertheless, he says,
"The king says immediately.“ you can hear from his voice that he doesn't like this order, but he's part of the Kings Guard. He has to do what the king asks.
"All right." Helaena says and so you are on your way to the Throne room. When the double doors open, they release a strange scene. Aegon, Aemond and the queen on one side, the princess, her uncle-husband, and two of her sons and the king on the other side. Aegon curses and screams, the hand that his mother puts on his arm he roughly pushes away. Lucerys has a blue eye and blood sticking to his lip.
"That doesn't explain why my son is being attacked." Rhaenyra brushs over Aegon's curse. "I demand an explanation and a punishment!"
The king looks at his two children, first his heiress, then his firstborn son.
No one is watching you as you and Helaena walk through the room and stand beside Aemond. Helaena holds your hand tightly in hers and you notice her hands trembling. So you rub your thumb over the back of her palms to calm her down. The Queen walks at Helaena's other side and takes her other hand, giving you a grateful smile.
"Arrax attacked Helaena," Aegon insists.
"That's not true! He would nerver do that." answers Lucerys. "Surely Dreamfyre attacked him and he just wanted to defend himself."
"Dreamfyre was chained! Why not Arrax?“ Aemond asks.
"On the Dragonstone they are also free."
"Than go back to Dragonstone, Bas…."
"Aegon," cries the Queen. He looks briefly at his mother, then walks his gaze over his nephew and back to Helaena who is still standing in her dirty dress and blood-smelted arm. His gaze remains at the curvature of her stomach, again flashes pure hate in his eyes.
"Bastard." he spit the word into Lucery's face. Jacaerys comes a few steps toward you, his hand to his fist. Helaena and you unconsciously retreat from his aggression, Ameond next to you also takes a step forward and stands between Jacerys and the Queen. There's tension in the room, and you know, if one of the princes is taking a wrong step now, there's gonna be a fight, or worse. Gods be good, let them all calm down.
"Enough!" shouts the king, Helaena squeezes slightly beside you and presses your hand stronger. Aemond mirrors his nephew with a murderous look in the eye. Lucerys was the one who cut off his eye in that terrible night on Driftmark. There were no consequences then, and you're almost sure there won't be any today. "Aegon! I should have your tongue cut out for that, you know the law." Aegon turns his eyes at his father's words, you know exactly what he thinks, "Try it old man." The King ignores Aegons despite and simply continues to speak. “I don't want any quarrels! Not on my name day! How many times should I tell you all that you should get along? What else should I do?“
You are confused and angry at him, does he not know that you cant demand such things?
"You're not doing anything!" Aegon exclaims to his father. The King raises his hand and strikes him in the face. But he is old and sick, the blow may not have really hurt, yet it was humiliating. The Queen gasps next to you.
"I said enough!“
"Father! You let him get away with such an insult, such a lie?“ says Rhaenyra. She doesn't pay any attention to Aegon and his siblings, but only looks at her father.
You look at her unbelievingly. What's going on here? Helaena was attacked and now Aegon is the one how gets to be punished? The King shakes his head, his gaze is deeply sad and at this moment he seems incomprehensibly old and sick, so you wonder why he can still stand on his own.
"Aegon, you will apologize."
The blonde prince laughs cheerlessly.
"I'm gonna do a shit." “That’s not enough,” Aegon and Rhaenyra say at the same time. Aegon looks at his older sister, Rhaenyra looks at him, her look is ice-cold just like his. For a moment, brother and sister sparkled in anger. Then Aegon breaks eye contact, turns back and escapes from the throne room,. Rhaenyra opens her mouth to say something, but the Queen interferes now.
"We should forget the matter," she says in a firm voice.
"Yes." Viserys agrees. “I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Into your cambers all of you!" his voice does not tolerate contradiction.
Helaena moves her weight back and forth next to you, she is dissatisfied with this result. You are too. Even if you didn't expect anything else. Rhaenyra makes a dissatisfied sound, but her husband puts one hand on her shoulder and with the other hand scolds the children out of the room.
Aemond looks at his mother, who nods and releases Helaena's hand, then takes her face into her hands and kisses her forehead. "Please go to the Master my child, I will come to you soon."
"Yes, Mother." says Helaena, you follow her from the throne room, a few steps behind you. The door closes behind you and a few tears flow from Helaena's eyes. You grap her hand quickly. You want to say something, but Aemond stands next to you and puts his hand on his sister's arm.
"Y/N," he says and looks at you. "Please follow Aegon. I will bring Helaena to the master."
"Wouldn't it be better if you talk to him?" you want to stay with Helaena, you want to make sure she's okay.
"No. Believe me, Y/N, it's better if you do that. When I speak to him, the Strong brothers will be found in their beds tomorrow with their throats cut open.” his voice is cold, and you've got a shock over your back. That wasn't a joke. You squeeze Helaena's hand, let go of her, and then follow Aegon. He has take the way to his cambers, and you hear the door slaming two corridors ahead, so loudly he beats it into the fishing. You encounter two maidens who quickly escape from the prince's rooms, presumably he screamed at them and sent them away. Without knocking, you just open your door and step in, quietly close it behind you.
"I told you to go." Aegon revolves furiously around, his eyes shine dangerously and his whole body trembles, but when he sees you, he relaxes his shoulders. He close his eyes and take a few breaths. He doesn't move for a second, then he turns away from you and throws his cup of wine against the nearest wall. You're scared, but Aegon is not done yet. His next target are the chairs, the wood crushed as he blows it against the table with full vigour, splinters flying and the candlestick, as well as a vase of flowers that were placed on the table, falling to the ground creeping. The scraps spread and the water mess up the tail of your dress, but that doesn't really matter to you.
"Aegon." you start, but he doesn't hear you. He's too caught up in his anger. It is only after he has destroyed half his facility that he seems to calm down a little bit. His breath goes fast as his eyes restlessly wander through the room, like he was looking for something. His body is still trembling with anger. Then his gaze find yours. For a second it seems like time is stopping, you don't even dare to breathe. Then a sop comes out of Aegon's throat, tears run over his face, and he falls to his knees. With quick steps you are near him, sink next to him on the cold stone floor and pull him into a tight hug. He clings to you and starts crying in your neck. You rock him back and forth, like a child, as you try to calm him down. Silently you sing a melody, the song of the knights of the roses.
"I hate him. I wish he was dead." He wishspers quietly in your shoulder. You know he's talking about the King. You can understand him. Even if it's actually high treason what he says. You stroke over his shoulders to calm him down. “My brother lost his eye, he didn’t care. My pregnant sister was attacked and wounded by this dragon worm, he didn't care. Where is the border? When did he start to care? Does one of us have to die first?“ you have no answer to his questions, there is no answer. His eyes are filled with tears, but his eyes stick to your face. You can feel tears accumulating in your eyes.
"I'm so sorry," you say and you mean it. No one deserved such treatment and it's even worse because this treatment comes from his father. You reinforce your grip around his shoulders, push him closer to you. You want to show him that he's not as lonely as he feels right now. At some point his tears dry on his cheeks, he collapse in your arms. Your knees hurt because you're sitting on the cold stone floor and your back hurts slightly, yet you don't move a bit and just hold Aegon in your arm. "You should sleep." you say in silence. He nods at your neck, slowly he rises up. His eyes are bloodshot, he's pale and his gaze is matte. Nevertheless, he helps you on your feet, his hand doesn't let go of yours and he starts playing with your fingertips.
"Will you stay with me?“ he speaks so quietly that you are sure you just imagined his question, but he looks at you uncertain. Your heart almost tears at the sight, and before you can even think, you nod. You go to his big bed, Aegon falls on the soft mattress and just pulls you with him. You end up next to him and of course his bed is a thousand times softer than yours and a hundred times more comfortable than Helaenas. The sheets smell like him, everything here smells like him. You slide under the blanket and slide a little back and forth until you lie comfortably, you don't care if you ruin your dress, it's messed up anyway. Aegon is lying next to you, so close that your fingertips can touch each other, he's rubbing his finger over yours. Seven hells, what are you doing here? You lie in the prince's bed. With the prince. With your friend Aegon. You close your eyes. The gods would curse you, but for what are the gods good at all when they are so unjust? So you decide you don't care tonight. You slide closer to Aegon, lift your arm and lay it around him, start to gently fondle his neck and comb through the short hair. He makes a sound that lies somewhere between whimpering and sighing.
"Is this okay for you?“ you ask quietly and feel him noding.
"Yes. More than okay. Please don't stop," he whispered. A smile play around your lips and you sink deeper into the soft pillows, not stopping fondle his neck and hair. His breath is starting to calm down, his shoulders are relaxing and his hand is laying under the blanket on your hips. He holds you tight even if you're not planning on going anywhere.
"Sleep well, Aegon." you say in the dark after a few moments, you're not even sure if he's still awake.
"Sleep well, my little rose."
**
taglist: @arabellachant
#aegon ii targaryen#Aegon II#aegon x reader#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii fanfic#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#helaena targaryen#house targaryen#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x y/n#dragons and roses#part 2
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Oh, can you do a smut White Day request for RoR Hades? Basically, reader have a crush on Hades and gives him a chocolate in valentine day. Hades probably received a lot of chocolate that he didn't know how reader truly feels for him until White Day come. He gives others a box of chocolate in return, but for reader he decided to do something special, since he loves her too.
Minors DNI
-You were nervous, but also excited, knowing what today was- White Day! It was the day that hopefully, the man you loved would return your feelings!
-You had gifted him homemade chocolates on Valentine’s Day, putting in the hard work and effort to show him how serious you were about him and today was the day!
-Only for you to see other women around, holding little gift bags from Hades, gushing on their gifts- you didn’t realize that he had gotten so many gifts!
-You were foolish to think that or at least that’s what your brain was telling you- Hades was perfect in every way- how could he not have so many admirers?!
-As you resigned yourself to be just another one of the crowd vying for his attention, you decided to turn around and head home, no longer wanting to be out- mainly because you didn’t want anyone to see you cry from your broken heart.
-You were not expecting Hades himself to be at your home, waiting by the front door for you, you almost turned and ran again- believing this was a trick!
-When he called out to you, you froze, eyes going wide as he quickly came to you, a soft smile on his face which quickly melted into a concerned look, seeing the unshed tears, “What happened?”
-You were being punked- you were sure of it, there was a hidden camera around and people were going to jump out and laugh at you- you just knew it!
-When you didn’t answer, Hades cupped your cheek softly before speaking, “Of the gifts I received, yours was the only one I could tase any love in.” your face was quick to flush bright red, which made him smile softly.
-His eyes seemed to be swirling with emotions as he spoke, “I do have a gift for you- if you chose to accept it, but we need to go inside.” You were curious, wondering what the gift was.
-Twenty minutes later your back was arched as you sat on Hades’ face as his hands gripped at your thighs, holding you there as you writhed, crying out his name as he seemed like he was going to devour you.
-He slurped upwards, and you cried out loudly, “Hades!!” he chuckled, and you managed to look down at him, your chest heaving, seeing your thighs littered with bite marks and hickies as you whimpered softly, overstimulated by his actions.
-He pressed a kiss to your thigh before his hands grabbed your waist, hauling you up before quickly pinning you to the bed, your hair around you like a halo, “You have no idea how gorgeous you look right now~ and you’re all mine~”
-Your back arched as he slowly sank into you, filling you to the brim with his massive size as you let out a breathy gasp, feeling him so deep within you- this was a hell of a White Day gift but you weren’t complaining!!
-He was still for a moment, feeling your warmth before he grabbed your thighs again, giving himself leverage before he started rocking into you, leaving you breathless with each thrust.
-Watching you beneath him was even better than all the times he imagined- you were so beautiful, so warm- and all his.
-His hips snapped hard into yours at that thought, that you were all his now and his pace became hard and frantic, like his goal was to drive all the air from your body as he descended upon you, sucking another dark mark onto your neck as your hands stretched down his back, holding onto him, nails biting into his skin, giving him just a bit of pain with his pleasure, just how he liked it as he groaned out your name.
-You’re not sure how many times he made love to you, but you knew that he spent the night, as he took care of you, since you couldn’t walk, something he did preen over a bit- he held you close, as if you would disappear if he would let you go.
-A soft kiss was pressed into your hair, “I don’t want to ever let you go, Y/N.” your face flushed red again, which made him smile as you hugged him back, a soft sigh of content leaving your lips. He smiled, knowing he never would- he loved you too much to.
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Goa'uld Invasion Part Two
part three of Quantum Mirror
a fic by mushroom with help from stick
back on Earth, Nymph padded down Janet's stairs and was greeting by the smell of pancakes.
"whatcha doin?" Nymph asked, mimicking Jack's phrase. Janet smiled and tilted the pan to show the flower-shaped breakfast.
"I thought we'd have a fun time with our breakfast this morning. we also have whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and I cut up some fruit for some semblance of healthiness." the doctor laughed, then quickly stopped Nymph from poking the very hot pan. "my, you're a curious one! but it'll hurt if you touch this, it's very hot."
Nymph tilted her head at Janet. "then why are the pancakes touching it? won't they get hurt too?"
"no, honey. it's just batter, and we need to cook it so we can eat it! why don't you go play a game with Cassie, and I'll bring the food in when it's ready."
that seemed to satisfy Nymph, who floated into the livingroom where Cassie was waiting with a well-loved copy of CandyLand. as the girls played, Janet noticed an irritation that seemed to be growing in Nymph. her movements became slightly more erratic, her hands darting out slightly faster, the pieces going down slightly harder on the board. She watched her for a few more moments, noticing the frown on the little girls face grow.
"Nymph? Are you alright?" Janet asked. Nymph scrunched up her face.
"I don't know," she said, floating off the floor slightly. Janet noticed a tremble in her.
"Maybe we should try a different game?" Cassie suggested, looking between Nymph and Janet. Nymph shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. a terrible feeling collected as a pit in her stomach. she pulled her hands back into herself and scrunched her face in an attempt to make the feeling go away, but it didn't go away. in fact, it got worse as it grew into the devastating realization that Something Was Wrong.
"Where's mama and daddy?" Nymph asked, a tremble in her voice coming through.
"They had to go through the Stargate, remember? They'll come back, don't worry," Janet tried to reassure her. Nymph started to cry more.
"No, there's something bad. They're not safe, we need to help them!" Nymph cried, floating over to Janet, crying into her shoulder.
Janet held her tight, trying to get the little girl to talk to her.
"Nymph, honey, you have to talk to me in order for me to know what's wrong."
Nymph shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "It's all wrong, it's all wrong!"
"what's all wrong?"
"I hafta go!"
"go where, honey?" Janet brushed Nymph's hair from her face, but nothing was calming the little girl down.
"go to the base! if I go there, I'll find out what's wrong!"
"we can't go to the base right now, and General Hammond would've called if something were wrong."
"no! no no no..." Nymph kept repeating the word, and Janet nodded at her daughter.
"can you get me the phone please, Cassie?"
Cassandra nodded, and jumped up to get the phone from its place on the wall. once she handed to her, Janet dialed the number for Cheyenne Mountain.
"yes, this is Dr. Fraiser, I need to speak with General Hammond immediately."
~ • ~ • ~
Daniel and Sam tiptoed through the corridors, peeking into doors trying to find the best place to put the C4 - or worst place, from the perspective of the goa'uld. one of the large doors opened to a glider bay, which they agreed would be the best place for secondary explosions.
Sam set the timer, and stood up to go to the next room.
"wait!" Daniel grabbed her hand before she was fully standing, nearly knocking her off balance. he spoke in hushed tones. "shouldn't we have a backup plan, in case we get caught or something?"
"that's what the timer is." Sam whispered back, even though there was no one around to hear them. they had walked into another room when the floor lurched again.
"what was that?" Daniel whispered.
"I think we slowed down or stopped," Sam responded in kind. she spotted a window, then had to do a double take.
"is that-" Daniel asked, knowing the answer.
"Saturn." Sam finished. "Bra'tac wasn't exaggerating when he said we'd get to earth in a few hours."
after a quick glance between themselves and the window, they left to meet up with the rest of the group.
~ • ~ • ~
two marines arrived at Janet Fraiser's house - one to stay with Cassie, one to drive Janet and Nymph to Cheyenne Mountain. the doctor managed to peel Nymph from her arms long enough to buckle her into the car, little cow hood skewed and her cheeks puffy and tear-stained. the wailing had stopped when they were in the car, but the crying and shuddering breaths had not. Janet kept a comforting hand on Nymph's knee, but she just seemed to be getting worse.
when they arrived at the base, Nymph took off like a rocket to Hammond's office. not being limited by stairs or gravity, she reached the office long before Janet could catch her.
"General Gramps!" Nymph cried out as she opened the door. Hammond startled, then told her to come in. she floated over to the chair, but didn't quite sit down.
"General Gramps, it was awful!! an awful, awful feeling that won't go away!" she blubbered. "you have to check on mama and daddy right now!"
Hammond sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, little lady. I can't do that - we tried to contact them a couple hours after they left, and the gate wouldn't lock on. I'm sure, wherever they are, they're perfectly fine."
Nymph was about to argue, but Walter Harriman knocked on the door. "sir, NASA is on the phone for you - they said there's two contacts out by Saturn."
"do they have any identification on them yet?" the general asked.
"it's the glue olds!" Nymph announced. Walter and Hammond glanced at each other, unsure what she meant.
"the what?" Hammond asked gently.
"the glue olds that daddy and our team went to stop! they came all the way here!" Nymph grunted in frustration.
"do you mean goa'ulds?" Hammond enunciated the correct word, at which she nodded. "what makes you think it's the goa'uld?"
"the bad feeling." she answered solemnly.
Hammond nodded, trusting her, and picked up the red phone. if those contacts were a goa'uld invasion, they needed to get a counterattack ready.
~ • ~ • ~
"so, Bra'tac," Jack started hesitantly. "what's the plan?"
Bra'tac stopped in front of a door, opened it, and motioned for the rest of them to follow him through. Jack and Teal'c walked with him to a railing while the apprentice stayed outside to stand watch.
"this is the defense shield generator," Bra'tac said, dramatically gesturing to the large glowing engine beneath them. "in order to disable it, we must climb down several levels, into the very belly of the device, and then..."
Bra'tac teetered off, watching as Jack silently took two grenades out of his vest, pulled the pin, and dropped them down the shaft. there was a large explosion, and the glow of the generator fizzled out.
"grenades." Jack stated, miming an explosion. "what now?"
Bra'tac sighed, content. "now, we die gloriously, with honour, in a ball of flames."
Jack blinked at the old man. "I'm sorry, I have to go to Minnesota next week with my kid. dying in a ball of flames isn't exactly on the agenda."
"for Apophis' sake, human!" Bra'tac snapped angrily. "I have been waiting 133 years to die of old age, why do you deny me a death in battle for what I believe in?"
"would you please stop calling me 'human'?" Jack groaned. "I have a name!"
"Master Bra'tac, surely there is a way to escape?" Teal'c asked, knowing they didn't have time for this kind of argument.
Bra'tac sighed. "come with me."
~ • ~ • ~
Sam and Daniel walked towards the rendezvous point they had agreed on, and a pair of jaffa rounded the corner before they could fully hide. staff weapon blasts were coming seemingly from all angles, and before they could take out the jaffa Daniel was struck by one of the blasts. Sam fired the final kill shot, and ran to tend to Daniel's wound.
"leave me," Daniel gasped.
"we don't leave people behind, Daniel. you know that." Sam retorted, tears streaming down her face. Daniel groaned as she tried to move him.
"we're going to blow up in an hour anyway, what does it matter? just go!" he yelled. Sam looked him in the eyes, and he whispered "just go."
Sam wiped the still streaming tears from her face, and she ran out of the corridor. Daniel had glanced around at what he thought would be his last sights when he saw where he was - in the doorway to the sarcophagus room. he crawled into the golden box of life, and watched it close on him.
Sam met up with Jack, Teal'c, and Bra'tac by herself. Jack looked behind her, then met her face.
"Daniel?"
Sam shook her head, tears starting to flow again. "a staff blast. he told me to leave him. I dont know why I listened."
Jack reached over and pulled her into a hug. "because there was nothing you could do for him."
with a nod, Teal'c reminded them that they were running out of time. Jack kept ahold of Sam's hand, and the four of them ran to the glider bay.
"alright, so we go in, and try to-" Jack started, but Bra'tac shushed him, and pulled a shock grenade out of his pocket. Teal'c pried open the door, and the master rolled the grenade into the bay. with a flash of light, all the jaffa in the glider bay were incapacitated, and the team made their way into two of the gliders.
Bra'tac tossed his staff weapon over the edge, and threw something small at Jack.
"put this on, human."
Jack fumbled with the thing thrown at him. he glanced over to see Sam and Teal'c sticking similar devices to their cheeks, and attempted to do the same before climbing behind Bra'tac in the glider. the two gliders sped out of the bay, leaving behind the soon-to-explode Ha'tak vessel.
~ • ~ • ~
the sarcophagus opened, and Daniel opened his eyes to a completely healed wound and regained strength. he clambered out, and checked the timer on the C4 on the console in the same room.
it read one minute, thirty seconds.
Daniel ran to the gate as fast as his still-jelly legs could carry him. when he reached the gate, he realised that they hadn't brought GDOs so it wouldn't be wise to gate directly home. the seconds ticked away in his thoughts as he wracked his brain for an address. finally the address for an ongoing SG-6 mission popping into his head, and he dialed as fast as he could. knowing he only had few precious seconds left, he dove instead of walked through the event horizon.
~ • ~ • ~
Walter Harriman put down the phone, a smile beaming across his face. "NASA reports two fireballs in the night sky! SG-1 did it!"
Hammond pumped his fist in excitement, then looked over at a very concerned Nymph floating next to him. "I'm sure your family got out safely."
almost on cue, the gate dialed an incoming wormhole with an SG-1 iris code. everyone rushed to open the iris and Daniel walked through the event horizon alone. Hammond and Nymph hurried down the stairs to the gateroom.
"Dr. Jackson, what happened up there?" Hammond demanded, grinning in relief.
"Uh, well, the rest of the team is-was still up there, but I went through the gate to P4A-577 and met up with SG-6 to use one of their GDOs." Daniel said quickly, barely processing that Nymph wrapped her arms around him.
Hammond looked up at the window behind him. "Sargent, call NASA and get that shuttle in the air! SG-1 could still be up there!"
"Uh, general, I uh I think they think I'm dead."
"Excuse me?"
"I was-" he looked down, and finally noticed Nymph clinging to him. "um, hurt, and I don't think they saw me use the sarcophagus."
"understood." Hammond nodded.
"are you gonna surprise them when they get home, uncle Danny?" Nymph smiled up at him.
"I think they'd like that," he chuckled.
~ • ~ • ~
the gliders were damaged. their crew, surprisingly, were unharmed, but there was no way they would fly enough to even get to a stable orbit.
"we did it, sir." Sam's voice crackled over the radio.
"yes we did," Jack responded.
"we're in a low orbit, it's only a matter of time before we burn up in the atmosphere-" Sam started to spiral, but Jack interrupted.
"Sam, look up."
she did, and saw Earth below her, glistening in the sunlight. "it's beautiful."
"we saved it." Jack stated.
"we did, Jack."
"it's too bad we won't ever be able to see our kid again." Jack sighed, but saw something at the edge of his field of vision. "then again, maybe not."
the thing at the edge of his vision creeped up until it was in full sight. it was a shuttle!
"Houston, this is Endeavor. yeah, we got 'em."
~ • ~ • ~
SG-1, alongside Bra'tac, walked into the gate room into a cacophony of applause, surrounded by their coworkers, friends, and loved ones. Nymph bounced into her parents' waiting arms, joyful sobbing all around. Hammond guided Bra'tac to the briefing room before the jaffa master left.
"Where's uncle Danny?" Nymph asked innocently. Sam's face fell.
"well, baby, he got hurt and couldn't make it." she tried to explain, tears falling from her face again.
"Oh. well, I got something that will make you feel better!" Nymph exclaimed, and waved into the crowd. the crowd shifted, and a familiar shine of glasses and mop of brown hair zigzagged to the front. Jack and Sam beamed, and Sam handed Nymph to Teal'c so the couple could hug Daniel tight.
"you space monkey," Jack laughed, voice muffled by Daniel's hair.
"so uncle Danny got hurt and couldn't make it back, huh?" Nymph called out in a sarcastic tone. Jack and Sam smirked at each other, both rolling their eyes.
"that's your kid," they said in unison, laughing.
wrapped arm-in-arm, the SG-1 family waltzed into the mess hall for some well-deserved desserts.
"we're definitely taking that vacation," Jack could be heard muttering as they passed in the halls.
part one | part two
#nymph the floaty baby#stargate#stargate sg1#stargate sg1 fic#daniel jackson#jack o'neill#sam carter#teal'c#this is as close to angst as i get#this took a lot longer than i was expecting#but all in all im proud of it#should i make a small little ficlet of the sg1 family at the lake#itll only be maybe a couple paragraphs
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This bit of dialogue did something to my brain, i just had to draw it :^)
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#siffrin isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#this took me longer than i expected but i learned a lot#so win win!!!#my art
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Fae animation practice
#flight rising#fr art#fr fae#my art#frfanart#gif#animation#this took way longer to finish than i expected#but it was a lot of fun!#i love fae necks
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A little something I did over on twitter :)
#my art#artwork#digital art#artists on tumblr#art#legend of zelda#zelda#daruk#sidon#totk spoilers#link#princess ruto#revali#ravio#great fairy#color wheel challenge#it took me a lot longer than i expected#but thats life aint it
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Happy (belated) New Year 2024!
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scumbag system#scum villain#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#myart#this took me longer than I expected... and I probably should have expected it given that dragon#I'm super proud of it though look at my dragon! it looks super cool! I want to draw more dragons!#overall I'm super satisfied with this it's a good way to start the new year#it seems I draw a lot of soft bingqiu but honestly I love them being soft#anyway happy new year 2024!
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🥤The OC Café🥤
Want a choccy milk?
In order from left to right!
Carrie Caramel - by Yours Truly @the-pianist-from-accumula-town ❤️ (Runs the café and hosts this event!)
Colt Cattlemen - by @thelone-copper (Colt's farm provided the milk for the Choccy milk. Thanks, Colt!)
Robbie Robs - by @clownsuu (Silly little beetle. Almost depleted choccy milk supplies all by himself.)
More under cut!👇
Skittles - by @saxophonelover1160 (BABY. SMOL. One of my faves 10/10 would draw them again)
Ida - by @stormcellarwitch (Enjoys her choccy milk with a nice book)
(don't have a name for this next one so I'll call him) Bee - by @lexieshomee (Look at him buzzing around happily!)
Poppet - by @cupophrogs (The embodiment of that one "Sitting in a sofa the wrong way" meme)
Dusty Bunny - by clownsuu (again! Can't get enough of his characters!)
Molly Moon - by @glitch-pep (She found herself a nice pillow❤️)
Andre Macaw - by @dottyorange (I modified the feathers and legs to resemble Poppy's, hope that's ok. We need more animal OCs I love them)
Gnostica Discreet - by @moth-lover-not-mother (Dancing to the music with her bestie!)
Berry Beloved - by @shadytreelucy-blog (According to her description chart she had to be dragged out of her lab to join the fun, and honestly? Mood.)
#welcome home#welcome home arg#welcome home puppet show#welcome home oc#welcome home fanart#carrie caramel#robbie robs#colt cattlemen#skittles#Ida#Bee#Poppet#dusty bunny#molly moon#andre macaw#gnostica discreet#berry beloved#Thank you all for letting me draw your wonderful OCs! It took me a bit longer than expected but I delivered as promised#I had a lot of fun#I hope I can do it again soon#This was a self-imposed challenge to practice my drawing and coloring skills#You can sort of tell at the last drawings how I gave up with the backgrounds lmaoo#anywayyyy It's 5am I am EXHAUSTED#goodnight and remember that I love you all#long post#digital art
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I would absolutely love to see your take on a Hades style Elspeth!
Here goes! I know I brought it up, but it’s my first time trying this style so I don’t think it’s quuuite there yet. I still like how this came out!
Even if it means I’m still exploring the style, I wanted to draw Elspeth first, because of the whole escaping Erebos schtick. I could totally see her as the protagonist of a Hades sort of game (that’s why I didn’t draw her with a weapon—I figured since she has multiple, she’d need a weaponless pose)
I know it’s not perfect, but I really had fun trying to replicate this art style 😅
#might not be able to do too many of these#it took a lot longer than I expected#so I might try and do just busts or something in the future#because it’s way easier for me to do faces in this style than bodies#but it was super fun to try out!#asks#elsbeth#hades style
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I’ll never get there, but if I put the work in, maybe I’ll get close enough that I can chase just behind perfection — and have a front-row seat as you achieve it.
Chapter 20, Cultivate by @neonghostcat
#you achieved it alongside him hon 🥹#svsss#liushen#liu qingge#shen yuan#this was meant for ch52 but I took longer than expected lol#I had lots of thoughts about that particular scene#how it all had come full circle from SY’s promise to the fulfillment of that promise#then I spent far too long trying to find the orig scene lmao#how he went from ‘I’ll only be able to follow in your footsteps’#to literally fighting side by side#battle couple goals#scum villain#svsss art#fanfic fanart#my art#(I needed another excuse to draw the guandao lmao)#and I had so much fun sketching out the composition for this 😊#battle couple
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