re: published books ask, ive recently decided that once i publish things (bc thats Is My Endgoal after all) i want my books to look like this:

the front would be a normal cover (minimalistic, or with an illustration, whatever suits the book) but on the back the accent color is matching to front instead of ao3 red and thats it. back is white and easily readable, no fancy fonts and it looks like an ao3 screenshot. like deadass, an ao3 style, rating, category, warnings, tags, summary, word count, ect. and i want everything i publish to look like this

ao3 is open source so i think they wouldnt even mind sth like that, but in case they would, all that info still can be written in slightly different formatting so it's not THAT outright. and the reader can still enjoy a nice prev of what they are potentially getting into

Bless you. That would be amazing.

stucky fic recs

here are some stucky fic recs! as always, be sure to read the warnings for each fic <3

one shots

finding home | @thedamageofherdays

cap steve x modern bucky

After he is caught in a terrible rainstorm while hiking, Bucky is glad to find shelter at the cottage Steve shares with his daughter and his dog. Bucky ends up finding so much more than just a safe place to spend the night.

x | @dreadlockholiday

steve x bucky

Request: Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud*

x | @dreadlockholiday (18+)

steve x bucky

Bucky finds his BFF Steve's sketchbook... and it's full of nothing but sketches of Bucky... naked.

sweethearts | @musette22

steve x bucky

Steve confesses his feelings to Bucky using sweethearts

my moon, my man | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

AU meet-cute. Strangers on a Train, but with less murder and more sexual tension.

make it till you fake it | AggressiveWhenStartled (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

things my heart used to know | Nightwing11 (AO3)

steve x bucky

In a world where soulmates can communicate telepathically with their partners, Steve Rogers has always had Bucky Barnes with him, a calming voice in a sea of turmoil. And, when Bucky falls off the train during World War II, Steve experiences deafening silence for the first time.

Now, after crashing a plane in the Arctic to save the world and being frozen for 70 years, Steve’s still trying to figure out how to live without Bucky there. His new friends are trying to help him adjust, to move on. And he thought he was doing better, he really did.

So, why is he suddenly hearing Bucky’s voice again?

catfish | @buckmebxrnes (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn't expect is a guy using Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating site?

Not like it's really him, right? Bucky may need more wine.

let's go have fun | @sebastanbucky

steve x bucky

“Nat wanted me to-” Nat clears her throat and he rolls his eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.” He looks at Steve with a look he hopes says ‘play along’. “Okay. What did you want to tell me?” Bucky has to take a deep breath to keep from laughing again, it helps with his performance as Nat nods encouragingly at him. “I’m gay.” He says, making his voice sound shaky and weak.

the way you came around | sokaless (AO3)

steve x bucky

After a while, Bucky says, “You know, this song sounds like it was written for you.” “That's funny,” Steve remarks. “I chose it because it reminded me of you.” Steve gives Bucky an iPod full of his favourite songs from the 21st century to help him deal with his nightmares. Bucky has a new mission- to find out who Steve is in love with, because there are a few too many unrequited love songs on that iPod.

stuck on you | wearing_tearing (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

you have the place next to my place | justanotherStonyfan (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Captain America helps the Vet next door.

you’ve got (30) new matches | williamkaplans (AO3)

steve x bucky

When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear. Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating. It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.

perfectly right wrong number | melonbutterfly (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

put your number in my phone | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve tucks his phone back into his pocket and turns back to the computer. He only has to click a few times before he finds the link to the questionnaire and opens it, inputting the participant number before hitting next. The beginnings of the consent form fills the page, and all Steve has left to do now is wait for the participant— one James Barnes, according to the website— to show up.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t end up having to wait very long. James Barnes shows up ten minutes early and knocks on the door before cracking it open and peeking in.

“Oh, hi,” he says, when he spots Steve sitting at the desk. He pushes the door open all the way and steps into the room just as Steve spins in the chair to face him.

“Um, I’m, uh, a bit early, but I’m here for the decision making study,” James continues, clear blue eyes flickering around the room before landing on Steve again. The skin between his eyebrows crinkles up a little, and god, Steve probably shouldn’t find his uncertainty as cute as he does. “Am I in the right place?”

wouldn’t it be nice | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"You are never going to believe what just happened," Bucky bemoans, shaking his head. He's at Steve's side in a moment and doesn't bother to give any warning before he dramatically falls into Steve's lap. Steve just barely manages to save his book from getting squashed.

"What is it?" Steve asks, matching Bucky's dramatic tone. "What am I not going to believe?"

"I just got off the phone with Natasha," he starts. "She cancelled on me!" Bucky throws his arms up, nearly smacking Steve in the face in the process.

Steve carefully places his hand on Bucky's forearm and lowers it away from his face.

"You're kidding," he says, a frown curving onto his lips at the news.

"I wish I was," he sighs. Bucky presses his lips together into a disappointed line and deflates against the back of the couch, slinking down Steve's thighs a little. "Who goes to Coney Island alone? How pathetic is that?"

Steve snorts, earning a glare from Bucky, and pats Bucky's thigh. "Aw, don't be such a sourpuss, Buck," he says. "Who said anything about going alone?"

all jokes aside | darksknight (AO3)

steve x bucky

"Before we know it Banner’s gonna be makin’ insinuations.” (Everyone "jokes" about Steve and Bucky being in a relationship until, eventually, they admit that they are.)

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth

steve x bucky (teacher au)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

in the shadows | DragonWannabe (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Five times they thought they were almost caught, one time someone found out, and one time they didn't have to hide.

OR:

Bucky and Steve grew up in a time when people like them went to jail.

single and looking | Jaiden_S (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

"Bucky held his place with his index finger and turned the magazine over to check the date on the cover. It was brand new, just out this month. An unexpected cord of anxiety tightened in Bucky’s chest. Single and looking? Frantically, he flipped back to the article. What exactly was Steve looking for? According to the article, Steve’s dream girl should be intelligent, altruistic, well-versed in current events and have a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he had a thing for high heels and red lipstick. Bucky’s stomach churned as he re-read the article. Was that really what Steve wanted? Make-up and stilettos?"

A slightly sappy tale of two utterly besotted super-soldiers who excel at miscommunication.

these american dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) | kariye (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.

i’ve been careless with a delicate man | paraxdisepink (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Steve lets SHIELD think he and Bucky were boyfriends so they’ll let him see the Winter Soldier in medical.

knock on wood | 74days (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers lives a quiet, steady life, until his next door neighbour moves in and starts having incredibly energetic sex every night. All Steve wants is for him to move his bed away from the wall so the damn headboard doesn't knock a hole through his wall.

progressively bigger keys | spinawren (AO3)

steve x bucky

“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ― Charles Dickens, Hunted Down

Steve and Bucky, it appears, have less need for a key and more use for a battering ram in trying to come out of the closet.

(The one where Steve tries to do one thing (one thing!) without causing a national ruckus, but the press are determined to see Bucky as Steve's best friend. And nothing more.)

stucky discover gay rights | Alicia_Borealis (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Then, why-” Steve stopped himself and looked at Bucky, who had tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “We’re- we’re not sick?”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked.

“Being a homosexual, it isn’t… wrong?”

-

The story of how Steve Roger's loved and lost Bucky, then how he got him back and then how he realised he was allowed to love him after all.

thursday nights with bucky barnes | Ellessey (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

to seek a nood-er world | jehans (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Send noodz

Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?

Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.

But, wait—does that mean…?

No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.

Right?

tied ‘round your throat | sleepypercy (AO3) (18+)

police officer steve x serial killer bucky

Steve's a small-town police officer trying to track a serial killer who's been in Steve's bed the whole time.

much tattoo about nothing | Deisderium (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

the perfect man | Ellessey (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Setting up a dating profile is decidedly not in Bucky's skill-set, but against all odds he manages to connect with someone who makes the one-night stand he thought he wanted feel like not nearly enough.

kiss me and take off your clothes | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is dared to send a dick pic to a blog which critiques dick pics (run by none other than Bucky Barnes). Hilarity ensues.

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore | steveandbucky (AO3) 

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve considers himself to be a pretty open-minded guy, which is why he can't quite understand why he feels so uncomfortable whenever he sees his gay roommate kissing guys. He's not homophobic, but how else can he explain the way his stomach twists at the sight?

It takes him a while to catch on.

exam room b | steveandbucky (AO3)

modern steve x nurse bucky

“Wait, what do you mean he asked for me?”

“He asked if the cute male nurse with the ponytail was working today. I assume he meant you.”

kickstart my heart | Kalee60 (AO3) (18+)

doctor steve x modern bucky

Bucky’s Wednesday wasn’t off to a great start. Not only did he wake up in a hospital with his annoyed best friend staring down at him, his treating Doctor just happened to be way too familiar, and the reason for that was slightly mortifying.

With misunderstandings in the air, a snarky nurse who is a pain in his butt and the ugliest neck brace known to man attached to his body. There was no way his Wednesday was ever going to improve. Could it?

you make me feel.. | kalika_999 (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.

nothing in the world that could stop it | rainbow_nerds (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?

rescue me and hold me in your arms | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky is on the worst date of his life, and what he really needs of for this waitress to get the message he's sending her with his mind to rescue him. She doesn't, but she does send someone to extract him from a night of torture...

odd ways | peterbparker (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“And it would have been an amazing night with my son if he wasn’t distracted by the hot guy on the other side of the room,” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “He’s been looking over at you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Bucky choked on the mouthful of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he croaked. Things were starting to make a little more sense now.

“Right?” Sarah said, waving her hand towards her son. “He completely ignored my garden stories because he’s been making eyes at you so I decided to come over and introduce myself.”

series

rare is this love (keep it covered) | @musette22 (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

It’s 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

coming up easy | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

4 minute window | @cesperanza

steve x bucky

"Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

swapped | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.

He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

[stupid fucking] brooklyn hipster bros | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky's mother gives him an ultimatum. Bucky doesn't respond well.

All Barneses are stubborn assholes, Steve observes, as though he doesn't see the irony of calling someone else stubborn. Or an asshole.

And Bucky can't even deny he is a total asshole for lying to his mother about dating Steve just so he doesn't have to bring someone else to her wedding, but damn if he's not going to give the lie everything he has.

brought to brightness | eyres (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

slide to answer | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

how to woo the winter soldier | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

all these things that i’ve done | @not-withoutyou 

steve x bucky

Steve was the patron saint of waiting too long. Bucky was atoning for his sins. Maybe they’d both been forsaken, abandoned by the light. Maybe they’d find a way back to each other again.

Post civil war, if things had gone differently.

find a way (to make it back home) | belwrites (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (college au)

Fresh off a year abroad, Head Resident Assistant Steve Rogers finds his senior year of college to be full of changes, and he's not just talking about the growth spurt. He's more concerned with the fact that his best friend...isn't talking to him? Is dating his ex? May or may not be missing an arm?

In which Steve has no fucking clue what's going on, but he's trying, Bucky learns how to communicate with his best friend again, and everyone quietly panics about the future.

is it pretending if i already want you? | OhCaptainMyCaptain (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event

the roommate | layersofart, Niitza (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

dear mr. postman | odetteandodile (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend.

fate will play us out | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

the avengers hate club | notebooksandlaptops (AO3)

pop star steve x modern bucky

Bucky falls hopelessly for Steve and starts an Avengers hate club with the lead singer of the Avengers.

songbird | chicklette (AO3) (18+)

modern steve x musician bucky

At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Well, one of them anyway. He’s a man who’s given up on finding joy in his life, and if it wasn’t for his kid, he’d have probably found a way to quit the world a long time ago.

Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is, other than some musician his mom liked a lot. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top.

Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

the right partner | LeeHan (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x ws bucky

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

Movie Night

We love our batbros being bros! Also, in my mind, Dick is like 40, Jason’s probably 33, Tim’s 25, and Damian’s 17 ish. None of these are really set but like it’s a rough estimate of how I view their age gap. 

This is literally a fluffy, slice of life fic. No plot, character development, etc. It’s them being brothers and talking shit. 

------

Of course, they’re at Dick’s place. He’s the only one who’s place is actually meant for company. 

“Where’s Mar’i?” Tim asks his older brother, setting a bowl full of popcorn on the table, next to the pizza and beer. 

“She is currently out with her boyfriend.” Dick chuckles, “Couldn’t get out of here fast enough when I said you three were coming over.”

“Nice to see she thinks so highly of her uncles,” Jason snorts, taking a sip of his beer. “Still not sure what she sees in him, but I know Roy asks the same thing about Jai.”

“-tt-,” Damian rolls his eyes, setting his sketchbook down. “it’s completely unprofessional how Mar’i and Kent treat their relationship. They could be more discreet.”

“Coming from the kid who’s sleeping my best friend’s daughter?” 

“Fuck you, Grayson.” Damian’s brothers can’t help but laugh at the blush on the youngest’s cheeks. Not meanly, just enjoying the fact they can still rile him up. “It’s not the same thing.”

“Oh, of course not,” Tim nods along, hiding a smile, “Dick hasn’t threatened to castrate Jon for dating Mar’i.”

Dick takes big bite of his pizza, “That’s because I’ve spent the last eight years telling Mar’i that anyone who doesn’t treat her right isn’t worth her time. Besides, if Jon pisses her off, it’s him I’m worried about.”

“Can we please talk about something else?” Damian reaches for a beer. Dick frowns, but doesn’t stop him. It’s not like Damian’s never drank in front of them before, but he’s usually a bit more descreet about it.

“Alright, charparro, que pelicula are we watching?” 

“I don’t care, but I swear if any animals die--”

“Chill, we checked that does the dog die website.” Tim looks through the Netflix queue. It takes way too long but they settle on some stupid superhero movie. Really, the only reason they choose it is to make fun of the stupid decisions the heroes make.

“Dude!” Jason throws popcorn at the screen, “No one in their right mind would every walk across a bridge like that.”

“I’ve done it plenty of times!” Dick protests.

“Case in point.” Jason dodges the pillow thrown at his head. 

“Coming from the guy who ran around in hot pants?” Tim snickers. 

“Coming from the kid who stalked me?” Jason rolls his eyes. 

“-tt- I can’t believe you all survived this long.” Damian raises a hand as Jason opens his mouth. “I swear to God if you say it, I’ll send kill you again.”

“No weapons in my house.” Dick reminds the youngest.

“Mar’i has weapons in her room.”

“Mar’i is a fucking weapon!” Jason snorts. That makes them all laugh. It’s nice for them to have these nights when the world isn’t ending. They aren’t heroes, they aren’t Bruce Wayne’s sons, they aren’t the Robins of the past and present. 

They’re brothers. They’re family.

[ENG] 180530 COLDE - DAZED INTERVIEW

Q. I was hesitant right before I came to see you. I wasn’t sure what questions to ask. I assumed ‘music’ was the only clue that explained your name ‘Colde’. 

Colde: That’s absolutely right. I never had the intention of creating a visual stereotype of the work I’ve been doing so far. I’ve rejected using other elements besides music.  It’s the same reason why I wear a hat/cap when I sing. That’s why I’m reluctant to be exposed in the media and I hardly do interviews very often. I’ve been doing that for the past two years, I’m now working as a solo artist as of this year. I thought this time, I’d have to brand myself differently. This is my first magazine interview with Dazed.  (t/n: He feels more confident performing on stage. He explained in previous interviews that he’s in fact a ‘timid’ person. This interview took place in 2018. Colde officially debuted with 0channel as ‘offonoff’ in 2016.)

Q. That sounds great. So let’s start this with, what’s the meaning behind the name ‘Colde’ ?

Colde: There are certain words that I love, and one of them is ‘Cold’ . When I visualised it as an image, I thought it fit well with my voice and appearance. I’m naturally not a bright person but the name ‘Cold’ goes well with a calm feeling. There are lots of meaningless typography (names) so that’s why I put an ‘e’ at the end of ‘Cold’. (Cold + e= Colde) (t/n: He mentioned on Red & Yella, that he got the name using a word generator. Although his name is Colde and with a voice that sounds ‘cold’ too, he wishes to bring warmth with his music.)

Q. What type of person is ‘Colde’ aka ‘Kim Heesoo’ like in real life? Are you as quiet and calm as when you sing?

Colde: I like to think positively, and I’m usually quiet. However once you get to know me, I like to joke around. I tend to discuss deeply about what I love;  like collecting vintage items, old books and I love taking film photos that I can directly connect to music. Which I then keep in a stack of archives. Also riding an old car. I write songs with that kind of inspiration. I know a lot of people have been curious. (t/n: In fact he has a tattoo of an ‘old car’ on his right arm. Also the film photos he took in Texas (2019) were used for his LOVE PART 01 EP cover)

Q. What other things do you do, when you’re not doing music?

Colde: Talking (to friends)? Or watching a movie. I enjoy drinking tea peacefully while reading books. I like going to clubs but only when it’s for work, like planning a performance or parties. (laughs)

Q. Don’t you sometimes dream of escaping in a fit of anger?

Colde: Hmmmm, well I would take a walk on the Han River Bridge and just sing. Then sing loudly until I can’t hear my voice and the sound of cars.

Q. When you know you have enough control of yourself, it’s not as easy as it looks. So far, do you think you’ve been able to compete only with music rather than revealing yourself (into the public). 

Colde: When me and 0channel moved together as a team, we solely focused on ‘offonoff’ as opposed to individuality. Our concept was not to let anyone know about us, like Margiela (brand). It was difficult to continue with that kind of concept as a crew (team). But with that, it’s constructed well in its own way. I would express it as ‘branding’.

(t/n: It’s almost saying as if ‘offonoff’ is a brand of its own. Martin Margiela who owns the brand, remains to be a private person.  “Constantly challenging people’s expectations, the label persistently presents the idea of anonymity within their collections, and often sends models down the catwalk with their faces concealed so the concentration is on the clothes.” source: vogue  )

Q. I agree. Nowadays, we do the branding ourselves. Offonoff and Colde’s music reminds me of the phrase you either ‘like it’ or you ‘crave for more’ . Without a doubt, both of you have different opinions. When you work on an album, how much do you or both express your own preference(s)?

Colde: For my solo music, they’re all centered around me so everything is decided by my opinion.  Whereas in comparison to teamwork (offonoff), our opinions are half and half. We combine both of our ideas, well enough to make it work. That’s why it takes longer to work on the album. Which is the same for other things besides music. From a month before the album was released, we gathered every week to have visual meetings. Discussing ideas on how we would like the music video(s) to turn out. So I think we have good teamwork and synergy based on that.  

Q. I heard that your first solo single ‘Your Dog Loves You’, from song writing to music video and album promotion was done without any label.

Colde: When we were still promoting as ‘offonoff’, our previous label (HIGHGRND) positively reflected the opinions of artists. So there weren't any conflicting issues. When I wrote this song (YDLY), I told myself “I’ll pursue this, there’s no one stopping me.”  I started working on the album (YDLY) thinking about my dog; Samna. Even though we’ve been apart for a while, I still feel a sense of happiness. I realised that love is truly incredible. I wanted to express the meaning of my love and gratitude (for her), so that’s why I wrote about Samna as my first single. ‘Your Dog Loves You’ is a song that conveys my honest self and emotions with sincerity. Thus recording (the song) is important when doing music.

Q. What type of branding will be added to this song? 

Colde: For this song, I think my real name ‘Kim Heesoo’ best represents me than Colde. To Samna, I live as ‘Kim Heesoo’ (laughs). We will be selling T-shirts with the release of this album. Some of the proceeds (from selling the shirts) will be donated to ‘CARE’, an animal shelter organisation. They also helped with the music video shoot. 

Q. Is Wavy a type of movement?

Colde: That is correct. It's not just a concept or a crew but it's going to turn into a ‘brand’. Essentially it will then form as an ‘official label’. I'm still thinking about how I'm going to make it interesting, once it's unveiled. I can't tell you any more details, please keep an eye out . (laughs)

Q. It seems that promoting the song strategically is as important as good music.

Colde: I guess you could say that. When me and 0channel made our first song (Mood. mixtape [2015]) as ‘offonoff’, we tried to complete it with a high quality visual. With that, we started a website for it. The goal was to make the site accessible for everyone to access, and I paid attention to the small details. (offonoffart.tumblr.com) Which I think played a part of the promotion. It’s the same process for my solo music. I’m not only good at making music, but I should get the most out of using webzine, youtube channel and SNS websites (instagram etc). I also like to observe and explore how people use these websites.

Q. Are there any public figures (eg. actors, writers, artists) or anything that you are interested in nowadays?

Colde: Vintage shopping. In my spare time, I would make a trip looking for only vintage items.

Q. In your opinion, is nostalgia for old (things) any special?

Colde: Without them (old things) what would be left after the person passes away? Money? I don’t think so. If I leave something that is special (to me) I’d regard it as if it’s my child. I believe that whoever is influenced by me, will be greatly inspired. If you have a distinctive preference, the meaning of life will look even more different. Then I’ll be able to explain that clearly to someone, before I die. 

Q. What’s the latest thing you’ve purchased?

Colde: Yesterday I bought a candlestick decorated with crystals on it. There’s a favourite shop that I like, whenever a new item comes in the owner would always contact me first. I also bought postcards and old magazines.

Q. Does that kind of preference also similar with fashion?

Colde: I love anything vintage in Japan and the UK. When I talk to my friends, ‘vintage’ is always the subject of the conversation. (t/n: He visited both countries before.)

Q. It is evident that cool musicians like you dress well. I think that’s why we’re able to film Eli’den Men with you today. 

Colde: I’ve been offered a lot of fashion photoshoots and I’ve disappointed many, even though it’s a great opportunity. I had to decline them. I’d rather make a proposal for myself first, planning to do projects which connect music and fashion. Having the chance to work on Eli’den Men, I was so excited that I knew it would be fun. Even wearing eleven outfits was a challenge for me. 

Q. How do you feel after filming it?

Colde: I feel great because I got to wear many pretty clothes. (laughs)

Q. What is the relationship between fashion and music for you? 

Colde: I think my own criteria of fashion determines whether I'm an artist or not. Anyone can identify if an artist’s identity is connected to fashion. It doesn’t necessarily mean an artist has to dress well. I don’t think I can look my best, without that connection between work and clothing. It’s very important to show your personality through fashion. For example, when performing as offonoff’s Colde, I would wear my cap pretty low. Because that’s the character I set up for myself. I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to make eye contact with people, who’s also timid, passive and a reserved person. But in reality I’m gloomy and an introvert.  After becoming a solo artist it’s getting better, now that I’ve started to open myself up to the world.  Hence why I decided to appear on the show ‘BREAKERS’. The process of opening myself is revealed through fashion.

Q. I can feel the sincerity from your honesty. From now onwards I have high hopes of what’s going to happen next (for his next music release). 

Colde: For my next second single; the keyword is  ‘Fashion’. (Colde - WAVE [EP]) These days, I’ve been so immersed in my work. I’ve been planning this (album) since last year. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m planning to get a head start on this around June to July.

Q. So will we meet again next month?

Colde: I’d love that (smiles). I think it’s more meaningful if it’s with DAZED. Please look forward to my new music and upcoming projects.

✧ original source here

Translated by @colde0channel.                                                                          Please credit when reposting. Thank you!

Man vs. Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler

I am a huge fan of the classic 2007 documentary, King of Kong, that saw two arcade players vying for the all-time Donkey Kong high score. Last year I was visiting a bunch of friends at a retro gaming convention and while hanging out after the con, one of them suggested to throw on today’s entry, 2015’s Man vs. Snake: The Long and Twisted Tale of Nibbler (trailer) on in the background. I had no idea what it was and immediately focused all attention upon it once I realized it focused on the same premise of two old-school arcade players chasing down the top score for another 80’s arcade game, Nibbler. It is not from the same directorial crew of King of Kong, but is shot in a similar style and shares a few supporting cast interviewees from King of Kong such as videogame high-score gatekeeper Walter Day and the controversial Billy Mitchell. Being a huge fan of King of Kong I was stunned Man vs. Snake went three years going off my radar. I listen to several videogame podcasts and keep up with the gaming press online and on social media seemingly daily and somehow this one slipped by me for three years. Upon getting minutes into the documentary I was doubly stunned that I had never once heard of or seen footage before of the 1982 arcade game, Nibbler this documentary is centering its high score chase on. The two creators of Nibbler, Joseph Ulowetz & John Jaugilas, are interviewed and explained how the game essentially came and went with middling sales and no real lasting power in the arcade scene at the time. If you are in my age range in your 30s you likely first experienced a variant of Nibbler more commonly known as Snake in the late 90s on either flash-based gaming websites, TI graphic calculators or simple black-and-green Nokia cell phones of that timeframe. I never recalled once seeing this in arcades and much-appreciated the history lesson. The two creators are only shown briefly in several excerpts, but they have an uncut 15 minute interview in the bonus material worth seeing because both of them go in-depth about how Nibbler came to be, crazy office stories and revealing the reason behind some of its gameplay secrets.

The two high score-chasers Man vs. Snake is centered around is Tim McVey (no, not the one you are thinking of) and Dwayne Richard. The documentary kicks off with exquisite animation sequences reminiscent of the style in Bob’s Burgers detailing how McVey originally posted the first official billion point game in Nibbler and procured the world record. Billy Mitchell is interviewed here elucidating the story because he is a real-life friend of Tim’s and witnessed him post that original record score. McVey was dethroned not too long later by an Italian, Enrico Zanetti, who is also interviewed and has his own unique tale on how his record stood for over 25 years. The animation featured in the opening and in a handful of other sporadic scenes throughout the film is incredibly impressive and is a worthy substitute for a lack of TV footage from that time. Flash forward to the late 2000s and the doc does a great job at detailing the impetus for what drove Tim and Dwayne to start competing against each other to set a new world record. A standout scene is showing clips and recapping how Dwayne & Tim compete against each other at MAGfest one year and the highs and lows of that public event. Later the focus switches to Dwayne & Tim’s own personal livestream attempts to try and break the world record and the stress of being filmed throughout the whole ordeal. McVey is featured more prominently throughout along with his wife and the film reeled me in for the agony of defeat as Tim went through all kinds of failed attempts due to several different type of circumstances. Both McVey and Richard have their feel good moments, and like King of Kong their successes did not go without controversy. Walter Day is the ever-present authoritative figure throughout with his trademark referee shirt just like we remember him from King of Kong. For fans of that documentary, you may recall it shares a couple glimpses of Walter’s unique personal life, and just some forewarning that Man vs. Snake dives a little deeper into Day’s lifestyle in a couple of scenes and it goes places I did not expect.

Also worth noting is that the DVD has both a censored and uncensored version available. I watched the uncensored version and what stood out from that is a couple of interview subjects being unfiltered at times and a couple graphic blister scenes due to playing Nibbler nonstop for over a day. For other extra features there are a total of 50 minutes of bonus scenes and that is where you can find the aforementioned interview with the two creators of the game. Other recommended cutting room floor scenes are more in-depth recaps of a couple of McVey’s failed attempts that did not get highlighted in the feature and a interview with another arcade score-chaser, Rick Carter, on his memories of trying to dethrone the Nibbler world record. There is also an audio commentary with directors Andrew Seklir and Tim Kinzy which is worth checking out because they have nonstop insight and facts on tracking down interview subjects, acquiring archival footage and discovering which interviewees they have fond and/or disdainful memories of throughout the production process. Man vs. Snake reminded a lot of why I loved King of Kong. I would rank it a notch or two under King of Kong because Man vs. Snake does not have the convenient hero/villain dynamic of Wiebe and Mitchell as McVey and Richard are both affable and positive figures to root for throughout. It also does not helps that King of Kong is based on one of the most popular arcade games of that era while Man vs. Snake focuses on one that I had no idea existed until I saw the film. Do not let that sway you from avoiding Man vs. Snake because it is still a vastly fascinating and entertaining documentary worth going out of your way to see. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

What happened to Sherlock? Part VII – The Importance of Being Earnest (1)

This is the seventh instalment of my meta series, where I’ll take a closer look at the two last episodes of the show this far. As you know if you’ve read the earlier parts, a premise for this analysis is that we’re seeing the entire show from Sherlock’s perspective; we’re literally inside the great detective’s head since Day 1, and he’s working inside his Mind Theatre where he reconstructs scenarios with different ‘actors’ representing different concepts and problems he needs to delve into, very much following his usual MO of crime solving. By now I also part from the assumption that from at least HLV and onwards Sherlock is trapped inside his own mind (EMP theory), possibly in some kind of comatose state, and in ‘real life’ the detective is hospitalized and close to dying. These conclusions are based on the different hypotheses I’ve already tested in the earlier installments of this meta series, which you can find below:

Introduction - The game is on (explains the method of analysis) Part I - Blog vs TV-show Part II - Re-living memories Part III - Drugs and weirdness Part IV – Heartbreak and coma (1) Part IV – Heartbreak and coma (2) Part V – Bizarre scenarios Part VI - Live and let die (1) Part VI - Live and let die (2)

The hypothesis to test this time is about Sherlock’s inner development:

Hypothesis #7. By TFP Sherlock has managed to figure out some essential things about John and the importance of staying alive, and he has managed to get in touch with his own repressed emotions.

I think this show – especially from HLV and onwards - might represent an important inner journey for Sherlock, where he tries to find out what went wrong between him and John and what could be done to fix it. On his introspective journey, he gets to learn a lot about John, but also about himself and how he comes across in John’s eyes. To test this train of thought, I’ll re-visit TLD, TFP, and some scenes from TST, to see what this might mean in terms of Sherlock’s Mind Theatre Simulations. But first of all, I’d like to present a background idea:

The Therapist

Judging by the total number of scenes with therapists this far, they seem to play an important role in BBC Sherlock. But which role exactly? And are the therapists we see even real? After TLD I think it’s justifiable to question this. At the end of TST we see Sherlock visiting John’s therapist Ella Thompson:

According to John’s blog - which I believe we can use as a sort of anchor to the show’s ’reality’ (see my Hypothesis #1) – John has indeed been in contact with someone named Ella Thompson, who I think we can safely assume is his therapist, judging by the circumstances in which John mentions her. Her name appears in one of the very first blogposts:

And then Ella herself comments on another post:

And then she is mentioned again when John has just met Sherlock:

She also begs him to “please answer your phone”, after the post called “My New Flatmate”, where we can find John’s first account of the events related to ASiP. As for the TV-show, Ella appears in person in the beginning of it, in ASiP:

In the taxi heading for Brixton in ASiP, Sherlock tells John that he deduced John must have had a therapist: (all quotes below are based on the incredibly useful transcripts by Ariane DeVere - my bolding):

JOHN: You said I had a therapist. 

SHERLOCK: You’ve got a psychosomatic limp – of course you’ve got a therapist.

Mycroft’s attitude towards Ella’s competence is a bit arrogant. Apparently she didn’t realize that war trauma isn’t the real cause of John’s trembling left hand:

MYCROFT: You have an intermittent tremor in your left hand. 

She thinks you’re haunted by memories of your military service.

JOHN: Who the hell are you?

Yes; how could Mycroft know this? Therapists are usually bound by strict confidentiality, and civil servants asking questions about clients’ health issues are no exception. Did he threaten Ella? Or steal the document? Sherlock’s brother isn’t even mentioned on John’s blog until ASiB, and in the show John never mentions Mycroft’s theories to Sherlock. If Mycroft represents Sherlock’s brain here (as some of us believe), and the kidnapping scene only occurs inside his head, then this is rather Sherlock’s personal conclusion.

MYCROFT: She’s got it the wrong way round. You’re under stress right now and your hand is perfectly steady. You’re not haunted by the war, Doctor Watson ... you miss it.

After this, nothing more is said about Ella for a long while. Until she seems to start communicating via John’s blog again after Sherlock’s ‘death’, when John publishes a blogpost titled “A New Beginning”:

I don’t think it’s farfetched to assume that Ella has tried to persuade John to keep up the blogging. Later, in the comment section of the blogpost “Death by Twitter”, Ella also interacts with the username “theimprobableone”. The impression I get is that Ella is kind, reaching out to someone who isn’t her client (even if this would actually just happen to be Moriarty :))) She might also be very competent, but the therapy won’t work unless the client actually collaborates. 

But in the TV-show we see a new therapy session in TRF, apparently 18 months after their last one, where John seems unable to tell Ella what actually happened to Sherlock, and why this has affected him so deeply.

Perhaps this scene is most of all Sherlock’s conclusion after observing on the blog that John was now back to Square 1 in his therapy with Ella? Which means he was back to ‘blogging-will-help’.

I’m gonna part from the assumption (according to my hypotheses #1 and #2) that the first two and a half series of this show represent Sherlock re-visiting his memories while reading John’s blog. He might be influenced by drugs while doing this, and he might ‘pimp up’ these memories by fantasizing about events he deduces must have happened, but where he wasn’t personally present. So he tries to mentally reconstruct what might have been said in these scenes. Since Sherlock isn’t present in the scenes with Ella described above, I think they might be fine examples of such ‘deductive fantasies’, basically constructed from reading John’s blog. (Regularly this is also an important part of Sherlock’s methods for crime solving by deductive reasoning inside his Mind Palace).

But in S4, at the end of TST, we see Sherlock himself visit Ella, although in a setting that reminds me more of a cathedral than a visits room for a therapist. The whole scene seems extremely ‘staged’, like a theatre piece. 

And when Ella tells Sherlock he has to open up completely for her to be able to help him, we learn two things:

Sherlock states that this is really not his style. In other words: he’s not ready for it, and

Sherlock thinks his main problem concerns John rather than himself. He believes what he really needs is to find out “what to do about John”.

Which might mean, in my opinion, that Sherlock now believes that ‘Ella’ won’t be able to actually help either of them. Conclusion, in Sherlock’s view: John needs a new, different therapist. And who has shown to actually be effective in curing John’s ailments - his earlier psychosomatic limp and trembling hands? Sherlock has. So, to continue testing this meta series’ earlier hypothesis (#5) about Sherlock running mind scenarios, and at the same time begin to test hypothesis #7, I’ll make the following prediction:

Prediction #1: If Hypothesis #7 is true, TLD could serve as an ‘appointment’ where Sherlock is John’s therapist trying to figure out ‘what to do about John’.

One interesting thing with TLD is that it both starts and ends with John visiting his new therapist. But in the end it turns out that this ‘therapist’ is actually Eurus, a ruthless killer who has disguised herself as a therapist (while the real therapist appears to be ‘closeted’ in a horrendous way). But I don’t think Eurus is ‘real’; she’s rather an aspect of Sherlock himself.

Sherlock might also assume that if he can’t protect John and John’s loved ones, he has failed John (hence his extreme sense of guilt and self-loathing after TST). But if Eurus isn’t even ‘real’, in which ways has Sherlock really failed to protect John? I think the real issues are:

He can’t protect John from being 'outed’ in media, who will speculate about his sexual orientation (the problem of TRF), which John has shown signs of fearing. Being associated with famous ‘weirdo’ Sherlock Holmes is ‘bad for John’ because he’ll drag John into media exposure.

By TLD, Sherlock has reached a mental stage where he cannot help John keep up his heteronormative façade any longer; thus ‘Mary’ will have to go, to disappear, which Sherlock believes will destroy John.

Below follows a series of possible ‘what-if’ scenarios, which Sherlock might be running inside his mind in TLD (and this is of course mostly my speculation). They are following the same pattern I used to test Hypothesis #5: 1. Detect possible initial questions, 2. Investigate possible elements of inspiration from movies and/or Sherlock’s own memories and 3. Explain possible results in the show from each of Sherlock’s mind experiments. Plus discussions about evidence that indicate this is indeed a MP scenario. But this time the scenarios are also ‘therapeutic’; this is where Sherlock tries to look closer at John and their relationship, taking over from Ella the job as John’s therapist.

TLD, Scenario 1: What will happen when John visits a new therapist?

Inspiration: We don’t know if Sherlock has experiences in this field, but since he’s addicted to drugs it’s not unlikely that he has some knowledge of therapy from rehab. In this scenario I think Sherlock takes the role of therapist himself.

In Part 6 of his Follow-the-dogs meta @sagestreet makes a good case for Ella being a Sherlock mirror (My bolding). ‘Thompson’ refers to a character mentioned on Sherlock’s website. (Does anyone know, by the way, what happened to that website? It has been down for months by now!): 

“And need I tell you that ThompSON could be a nice mirror for WatSON? (Let’s not even go into the whole fact that this could be Ella Thompson’s husband, which would make Ella a Sherlock!mirror of the first order. I mean, Ella has been a slightly distorted Sherlock!mirror right from the start, what with telling John, in TRF, he should articulate his feelings for Sherlock after Sherlock jumped… 

...just to give you one example.)”

[running, running the TLD simulation, staged with ‘actors’ that either represent John or Sherlock or the challenges they are up against…]

Result: John appears to be in deep mourning; he tells the therapist that he has sleeping problems and ‘can’t always cope’. He also gives away something about his alcohol problems and loneliness; he has no one to confide in. He expresses his guilt and bitterness for not taking care of his child. But he won’t tell his therapist about how he keeps seeing his departed spouse as a ghost: MARY (offscreen): Are you gonna tell her about me? JOHN (shaking his head): No. MARY (offscreen): Why not? JOHN: ’Cause I can’t. MARY (offscreen): Why not? JOHN: Because I can’t ... you know I can’t. She thinks you’re dead.

And neither will John confess anything about his feelings regarding either Sherlock or his (now departed) wife. By the way, don’t you feel the scene with the new therapist in TLD is a tiny bit familiar? I at least see certain similarities with this situation from TRF:

This was John mourning Sherlock, and now we see exactly the same thing regarding ‘Mary’? Still in TLD, John is unable to put into words any sort of feelings towards the people closest to him.

Then they start to talk about Sherlock, whom the therapist’s behaviour reminds John of (could the show be any more obvious than this? :-o). But John claims that he’s not thinking of Sherlock at all, and that their separation is Sherlock’s own fault for locking himself away in his flat; Sherlock hasn’t even attempted to make contact (hiatus after TRF, anyone?). Then the session is interrupted when a sports car stops with squealing tyres outside the house.

Discussion: This is supposedly about ‘Mary’s death and John’s neglect of his daughter Rosie, plus Sherlock’s despicable conduct. But I think what we actually see here is Sherlock’s deeper exploration of how John must have felt when he believed Sherlock was dead after ‘the fall’ in TRF. Sherlock needs other ‘characters’ in his Mind Theatre, because he’s still unable to face the fact that it was he, Sherlock, who caused John this level of grief by leaving him. And neither can he fathom the reason for this deep grief. Which might indeed be difficult for Sherlock to comprehend, because why then would John marry someone else when Sherlock got back? John doesn’t open himself up here. But I do think Sherlock subconsciously learns that John might have felt guilty after Sherlock’s ‘suicide’, maybe for having called him a ‘machine’ or other negative things, maybe for drawing media’s attention to Sherlock in the first place, unable to protect him against the slander. Maybe for failing to take care of his friend. All since Sherlock’s comment in TSoT about having been a ‘child’ for John and Mary to look after, I imagine John’s supposed guilt regarding Rosie could just as well be about Sherlock (”everything is about Sherlock”).

TLD, Scenario 2: What will happen if Sherlock tries to make John confess his feelings for Sherlock?

Inspiration: This seems to be almost entirely based on Sherlock’s own memories. I think he is drawing from his vast experience of criminals and drugs. In ASiP there’s a serial killer who convinces his victims to commit suicide with a drug. But we’re also presented a serial adulterer in the same episode; the murder victim Jennifer Wilson. In TSoT we have the Mayfly Man, a serial ‘dater’ who is also a killer, and whose behaviour is reminiscent of John’s. This is, I believe, a long, charged and complex scenario stretching out along the whole episode of TLD. And it’s largely based on metaphors, hence the word play where ‘serial killer’ is substituted with the harmless ‘cereal killer’. As many have said by now: If murder is a metaphor for falling in love, confessing to it is a confession of love. And I believe we have a lot to go on in this show…

[running, running a scenario, where Culverton Smith represents an aspect of John, but where John also represents himself]

Result: A ‘serial killer’ (Smith, representing John) wants to confess to his ‘crimes’, but at the same time he is very contradictory about it, because he doesn’t want to take the consequences of confessing. So TD12 - a memory-altering drug (the effect of which is similar to alcohol) - is the solution; Smith/John can back-pedal and pretend the confession was never made.

Sherlock doesn’t have evidence, but tries to make the ‘serial killer’ confess openly by playing along with him and then confront him. But it doesn’t work; John just beats Sherlock down and leaves him - again. But later Sherlock manages to collect evidence by tricking the ‘serial killer’ to act when Sherlock is at his most vulnerable, which provokes John to save him. In this episode, we’re lead to believe that Culverton eventually, after Sherlock’s ‘entrapment’, confessed to being a serial killer and was taken into custody. But the thing is, we never see Culverton actually confess to any specific crime – not even to the police. What he says to Sherlock’s face is merely that “killing human beings” makes him “incredibly happy” and that he “likes to make people into things”. But this wouldn’t hold in court for a murder case, would it? Who, in particular, did he actually kill? What exactly is Culverton accused of?

Sadly, there’s no open love confession from John – or John’s mirror - resulting from this scenario. But at least Sherlock manages to take on a new approach; he delivers two physical hugs to MP!John – one to ‘John the cereal killer’, and one to a guilt-ridden, repentant John at the end. The apparent topic of discussion is always something else than Sherlock’s and John’s feelings for each other, but at least we’re told that the ‘serial killer’ now can’t stop confessing ‘off-screen’. In the end of the scenario, though, Sherlock insists on wearing the deerstalker, which he has always disliked.

Discussion: I think maybe the most important result of this experiment is that Sherlock will never get a love confession out of John by sacrificing his life, no matter what ‘Mary’ (= heteronormativity) tells him to do. Actually, I believe the modeling shows that it’s Sherlock who needs to take the first step and actually tell John how he truly feels about him. The hug at the end of the scenario - at Sherlock’s initiative - makes this evident. 

But I think this scenario does hint that Sherlock is finally heading in the right direction, even if he’s definitely not ‘there’ yet (the latter is indicated by the fact that he puts on the deer stalker, thus succumbing to keep hiding who he really is). The internal conflict in both Sherlock’s and John’s minds becomes blatantly obvious in this scenario; homophobia and heteronormativity are basically the most powerful obstacles that stand in the way for their relationship to develop.

I think Sherlock is dealing with a heavy onslaught of emotions; partly because reaching a point of honesty about his and John’s relationship is still a bit of a long-term goal, and partly because the journey there is booby-trapped with difficult topics like jealousy and guilt. We hear a lot about the atrocious ‘serial killer’ in this episode (Sherlock still doesn’t approve of ‘love’?), but we never get to see any of his supposed victims or any kind of incriminating evidence for Culverton’s supposed crimes. Except for his attempt on Sherlock’s life, which Sherlock admits is actually a kind of entrapment, set up by Sherlock himself.

TLD, Scenario 3: What’s the role of faith in Sherlock’s and John’s  relationship?

Inspiration: There are many re-cycled elements in this scenario, which speaks for it being based mainly upon Sherlock’s memories. I made a list of the repetitions in a meta some time ago (scroll down to TLD). Walking the streets of London with Faith, for example, is a bit like running these streets with John in ASiP. Faith’s cane and limping is even directly compared to John’s in ASiP. 

And her gun is thrown in the Thames, just like John’s was in the Pilot.

Look how Sherlock has taken over John’s Faith’s cane, and is supporting her.

[running a scenario, where I believe Culverton Smith’s daughter Faith represents what could have existed between Sherlock and John]

Result: Faith – here impersonated by (supposedly) Culverton Smith’s adult daughter - is strong and fragile at the same time. She manages to resist her drug-induced amnesia (‘wilful ignorance’?) of what Culverton is up to by writing a note, and she puts Sherlock on her case. But Sherlock also discovers that Faith is suicidal (directly compared to John in ASiP), so he tries to help her by keeping her company and throws away her weapon. But we see the same gun firing here, as in the beginning and end of this episode:

However, while contemplating his own possible suicide, Sherlock gets stuck in his childhood memories. 

And mixed up with this, we’re exposed to subliminal flashes of a syringe and a spoon, possibly with dissolved heroine:

Discussion: As far as I can see, that’s Sherlock’s kitchen in the background. I wonder: did someone in Sherlock’s past kill themselves? Did one of his parents? Did this make him turn to drugs? It’s particularly interesting that the moment Sherlock approaches his childhood memory is exactly when Faith disappears; he ‘loses faith’. This might say something about how traumatic his memory is. But if this version of Faith is Eurus, and Eurus is a part of Sherlock himself, then this also means that he finds her again in TFP, doesn’t it? 

A likely (in my opinion) significance of this losing Faith scenario has been presented by @sagestreet in a very interesting addition to one of my earlier metas (X); “Sherlock (in his own mind) is telling himself here that what he thought helped John as they met (curing his limp, becoming his friend, giving him laughter, warmth and friendship) never, in fact, existed!”

I also think it’s noteworthy that Sherlock now has ‘Faith’ for a client, the same way he had ‘Love’ (=Lady Smallwood) for a client in HLV (and ‘Hope’ as an opponent in ASiP, for that matter). Unfortunately, the result is only slightly better than with Love; this time Sherlock at least believes he has solved the case, but the real Faith turned out to not have actually been acquainted with Sherlock.

TLD, Scenario 4: What will John do if Sherlock ruins himself with drugs?

Inspiration: This scenario also seems based on Sherlock’s memories from his life with John; the list of repetitions can be used here as well. Like Sherlock waving a gun and shooting the wall (TGG), trying to convince John that he can predict the future (ASiP), John punching Sherlock in the face (ASiB, TEH), etc.

[Running, running a scenario where Sherlock is isolating himself and destroying his own brain and body with drugs inside 221B]

Result: Well, this rather dystopic scenario – paradoxically – might in a sense be pretty close to Sherlock’s own reality, because this is what I believe he actually did in John’s absence (directly after the wedding). Here we meet a Sherlock who has turned 221B into a meth lab, who is hallucinating gravely and who frightens Mrs Hudson with his dangerous tantrums. 

(On a meta level, I think Sherlock’s Shakespeare quotations might be a ‘call to arms’ directed at the audience; how much more heteronormative crap are the viewers going to endure before the bulk of us start to protest loudly?)

But after Sherlock at least manages to save his cup of tea (quite the obvious metaphor here), Mrs Hudson finally takes charge. Sherlock is then ‘delivered’ to John in a fast sports car and a pair of kinky hand-cuffs (insider joke: the car is an Aston Martin).  And the premises is now once again John’s new therapist’s house; in a way, the session continues.

But we also meet a John who is even more disapproving of Sherlock than in TAB, but this time he seems to care very little about Sherlock’s drug use or health in general. John says nothing about Sherlock visiting a children’s hospital while being high, and he doesn’t care when Molly claims that Sherlock is dying from the drugs. John actually encourages Sherlock to take more drugs:

Discussion: To me this plot line isn’t even remotely realistic; ‘real’ John would simply not treat his friend this way. He mourned him for two years, why would John not care about Sherlock dying now? But if this is rather Sherlock beating himself up in his Mind Palace, his bias and self-loathing could totally produce this result. And apparently this tactic, no matter how elaborate, is useless; Sherlock ruining himself on drugs will never lead to any change in their relationship – John will not even acknowledge his ‘cry for help’. Sherlock has been dishonest to John so many times that John no longer trusts him when he tries to be honest, and his drug addiction doesn’t exactly help this. Conclusion: It’s Sherlock who must take the first step; he must prove to John openly that he does indeed love him, because John has never understood subtleties. I’m not sure that Sherlock understands this result just yet, though ;).

TLD, Scenario 5: How is John’s therapy going?

Inspiration: Again, Sherlock is perhaps drawing from his own experience and memories, and tries to continue psychoanalysing John.

[Running a scenario where John’s emotional state in most of TLD is contrasted to how he feels after the Hug] 

Result: After the intimate hug scene, where John cries on Sherlock’s shoulder (without hugging him back, mind you!) we’re supposed to get a ‘happy ending’ feeling, right? And yes; at first we learn that John seems “so much better”, and his new therapist (=Euros = Sherlock) expresses her pleasure with this.

But, scratching a bit on the surface, this overly optimistic image falls apart quite quickly. They may have solved some issues, but the main ones are still unanswered. Sherlock is “back to normal” again, or at least he’s taking cases. And yes, he’s clean-shaven and tidy, he no longer appears high but rather his usual irritable self, and his flat no longer looks like a meth lab (’straightened up’ by Brother Brain and his spooks, wasn’t it?). Lady Smallwood (=Love) flirts with Mycroft (=Brother Brain). But it seems that Sherlock himself is still working alone; John isn’t there with him. And one of his clients says the other is channelling Satan. And then, there’s suddenly a gun in the therapist’s hand. in this episode, it’s John’s turn to get shot. 

Discussion: John appears to feel better, judging by his final therapy session of the episode. But look at the ‘pool of blood’ under his feet (Eurus even mentions ‘blood on the carpet’ at this point). This rug is similar to the one Janine was lying on at CAM Tower, right before Sherlock was shot in HLV, isn’t it?

And the gun looks like John’s gun. In fact, the smoking gun (with tranquilizers??) at the end of TLD... 

...is the same as in the beginning. 

And the hand holding it seems like John’s hand.

John may write with his left hand, but he definitely shoots with his right. (Which by the way puts Eddie van Coon from TBB in another light. Hmm...)

The therapy session has come full circle, I believe. If Sherlock could kill himself with drugs, John could definitely do it with a gun. Let’s not forget that we have two suicidal protagonists in this show, which I read as a Romeo-and-Juliet kind of drama, interpreted by our favourite Drama Queen (hence the Shakespeare quotes in TLD and elsewhere :) ). John was suicidal already when he met Sherlock in ASiP, but Sherlock saved him merely by existing. And I think the key point here is what John says on his blog: #Sherlocklives means #Johnwatsonlives. But if Sherlock dies, so will John, most probably. So Sherlock has to stay alive to save John Watson from committing suicide, that’s the most important task that he has. And, as I’ve tried to show in earlier installments, he’s actually dying in S4. But he has to stay alive for John’s sake.

In conclusion, I think this is where Sherlock - in all honesty - has to admit that his ‘therapy sessions’ towards John don’t actually work; he’s definitely not a 'real’, competent therapist (which becomes glaringly obvious when Eurus/Elsa shoots John). Curing a limp and a tremor may be a good and useful thing, but it doesn’t actually deal with the kind of far deeper problems John and Sherlock have - both of them. Makes me wanna scream to him: “Give up, Sherlock! You’re not supposed to be John’s therapist; this is about you, not John!”

In my view, this is Sherlock expressing his frustration; he gets bored by his own fruitless scenario, and ends it all by shooting down his main ‘actor’. The session is over and we’re back to Square 1. Sherlock must now pass to the next level, go deeper still, facing his own demons. He’ll have to travel back in time, approaching his most traumatic memories. He must face Sister Sentiment...

But since this post is getting veeery long, I’m gonna have to save Sherlock’s experiments with Sister Sentiment for Part 2 of this installment. :)

(For more discussion about the therapists in BBC Sherlock, see @gosherlocked‘s meta on this topic, with additions. 

(One of the best analyses of this episode that I’ve read so far was written by @loudest-subtext-in-tv immediately after TLD aired in 2017 (X).)

Tagging some people who might be interested: @raggedyblue @ebaeschnbliah @sarahthecoat @gosherlocked @loveismyrevolution @sagestreet @tjlcisthenewsexy @elldotsee @88thparallel @devoursjohnlock @sherlock-overflow-error

circecore replied to your post “Is there a ‘does the dog die’ category for extremely uncomfortable...”

Maybe what you could do is use one of those christian parent websites for the opposite of its actual purpose. Like if it says the movie/book/etc has a strong, good religious message and they recommend it you might want to avoid it

i’ll probably do that, to be honest. i went through A Lot of hellfire and eternal damnation preaching as a kid from the south, and any type of religion=morality themes make me extremely uncomfortable. 

and while i know the overall message was that love can overcome all, given the subtext that “it” / “the black thing” was a result of (or at least resulted in) a lack of faith in God (which was interchangable with “goodness” and “light”), Meg pulling Charles Wallace away from “its” power by proclaiming her love for him put a bitter taste in my mouth as it reminded me of all the times my family and then-friends tried to convert me out of love and a desire to save me.

anyway, i’m rambling, sorry.

Consent Doesn’t Have to be a Nightmare

by Darcy Richardson

Not too long ago a Horror publisher rightfully experienced pushback when they disparaged the concept of trigger/content warnings. I’ve been thinking about that lately as my middle child volunteered for Nightmare Vermont, a local non-profit that puts on an amazing haunted attraction every year. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how we consent to certain activities throughout our lives in various social contracts and how that works with subject matter that is by its nature horrifying.

(The author’s kid in one of their Nightmare costumes)

When we attend haunted attractions there is an implied consent that by attending we have given consent to being scared. That’s the purpose after all, isn’t it? But what does that mean? What does that look like? What is scary to one person may be only entertaining to another. When does fun scary turn in to traumatizing scary? Does the concept of affirmative consent, that we at The Safety Team are so dedicated to, apply even in these situations?

The publisher I mentioned above stated that picking up a horror novel is consent to being exposed to horrific material, and that content warnings are not only unnecessary but that they were also detrimental to the story and the subject as a whole. To be fair I think they were correct about the first part. When you pick up a horror novel, you go in knowing it’s horror, the books are labeled as horror, that in itself is a content warning. But we don’t need to know that it’s horror to want content warnings. One such website is Does the Dog Die? , which currently tracks 80 categories of warnings for all sorts of material (books, movies, tv) and allows individuals to screen out their deal breakers.

Ok, Darcy, yes, but we’re talking about haunted houses, right? Right! So let’s talk about how Nightmare Vermont handles consent in a horror attraction.

Let’s start with those content warnings. Yup, Nightmare has them, right on their website!

Hmm...but what about the spoiler effect. Does this ruin the plot? Are these warning a kill-joy, sucking the joy out of any spontaneity, as some individuals argue?

Well, let’s see. Let’s look at Nightmare’s trigger warnings for 2021:

Those warnings are a fair indication of troubling content in this year’s Nightmare, but are they spoilers? Well, since this year’s show is now officially over let me be a little spoilery. Do these warnings tell us that it’s a dark science fiction show this year with cryogenic pods and mutant cannibals a thousand years in the future? Do they spoil the fact that we have to save Joanna from her mad scientist captor? Or that when we finally free her she’ll realize maybe she’s right where she belongs...

Content warnings do not have to spoil anything. They just allow people to interact with content they are comfortable with. This is entertainment, not an event to be endured.

But wait there’s more!

So is this all Nightmare does? Nope. Let’s go over what Nightmare Vermont does to ensure affirmative consent in their attraction. As a reminder affirmative consent is enthusiastic, continuous and freely given. 

I’m not a Nightmare regular, in fact the only reason I even went this year was to be a supportive parent. My kid has LOVED volunteering for Nightmare and every update has been more exciting then the last, so I knew I needed to go.

We managed to get tickets, though I should have ordered earlier. Nightmare is hugely popular and the shows sell out, but we arrived on a rainy closing night tickets waiting for us at the box office. We were assigned a line for when our group would enter. It was very well organized, they’ve been doing this a long time.

Nightmare as an event is broken into two sides. One side is the narrative portion which follows a script and tells a story. It’s theatrical and although it definitely has the horror elements from a traditional scare, the experience of going through it is more like walking through a play where the actors can direct comments to you. The other side, The Maze, is the more traditional haunted house. It’s the scarier side and, of course, it’s where my kid was.

Now, I love horror, and would happily attend the narrative portion any day, but I hate jump scares! I hate the anxiety of waiting. This was my biggest concern about attending, and the reason I avoid a lot of haunted houses. I know my limits, and that’s one of them.

However, I knew from the website, that monster wards were available. What is a monster ward? At Nightmare a monster ward is a glow necklace that tells the cast to ignore you.

I bought one.

Nothing to see here monsters, no need to jump out and scare me. The peace of mind was well worth the dollar to brightly advertise my limits.

When our group was called we attended a quick briefing on the rules of Nightmare, things like don’t touch the cast, and keep your mask on the whole time, (it’s still a pandemic people!), but this is also where we were briefed on the safeword.

A safeword is used when an individual wants things around them to stop. At Nightmare the safeword was “safeword!” Nice and simple. Easy to remember! When spoken out loud, a staff member would help you leave where you could either take a break and rejoin your group later or you could leave the event all together.

This is an excellent way to ensure that consent stays continuous, because by safe-wording a visitor can revoke the consent to be scared at any time.

After this briefing came the opposite to my monster ward: the teaser. The teaser is another signal that was bid on prior to the start of the narrative, where one person in our group would be given an identifier to tell the cast that they consented to being grabbed or being put into the story. Once the auction was done, the individual not only signed a waiver, but the host announced what this individual had consented to.

After the narrative, which was fantastic, we made our way into The Maze. Prior to entering the staff member at the front explained what The Maze consisted of (i.e a more traditional haunted house with dark enclosed spaces and jump scares). Informed consent is essential to affirmative consent. (And given that I had been transporting my kid to and from practices and set-up I was probably more informed than most) With my glowing monster ward, I was ready!

Yup, I got scared. But it was fun scary. Not panic inducing scary.

So let’s think about all the way consent was intertwined in this event:

Content warnings were available on the website prior to going.

My purchase of the ticket showed my initial consent to attend.

My monster ward advertised the limits of my consent, as did the teaser for those individuals who consented to that option.

A safeword was in place so that consent could be rekoved at any time.

The narrative and Maze had separate entrances with pre-briefings at both. A person could choose to only attend one or the other if they so desired.

In short, yes, this was a horror attraction, but affirmative consent was applied and ensured that this was a fun activity for everyone! I would absolutely do this again, maybe even without a monster ward, but the thing that struck me is that consent can and should be integrated into daily life. When we do that, we ensure that consent is normalized as a cultural practice and in our goal to reduce sexual violence and abuse, doing that is essential.

Consent doesn’t have to be a nightmare.

Nightmare Vermont is a local, volunteer run non-profit organization which presents annual haunted attractions. Check out their website for more information about their program, their charitable donations, or to join the mailing list to hear about next year’s show!

Tagged by the lovely @bundleofunicorns

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (eh thats a lot we’ll try)

— What was your last…

1. Drink: apple cider

2. Phone call: Baba

3. Text message: Guy who sends me pictures of his dog when im sad (i love that man and that dog)

4. Song you listened to: Woke the Fuck Up - Jon Bellion

5. Time you cried: earlier today when my extended family drove me to panic

6. Dated someone twice: never

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: havent kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: never

9. Lost someone special: when my homeboy moved to hawaii and didnt even invite me

10. Been depressed: never

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

— Fave colours

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Gold

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: maybe? Define love also does platonic love count

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes but not in a bad way

19. Met someone who changed you: i already knew them but my friends did change me this year

20. Found out who your friends are: Mainly just reminded of how much i love my real friends and how much i hate the asshat who wasnt

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: idk i got a facebook when i was really little to play farmville and the like i dont use it any more

23. Do you have any pets: 4 rabbits

24. Do you want to change your name: bot particularly

25. What did you do for your last birthday: party bus it was LIT

26. What time did you wake up today: like 9

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: scrolling through tumblr

28. What is something you can’t wait for: The Masquerade, Mashby is gonna FLIP HER SHIT

30. What are you listening to right now: My “songs i think love sounds like” playlist

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ive talked to a Thomas, but idk about a tom

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: anxiety

33. Most visited website: spotify

34. Hair colour: blonde

35. Long or short hair: shortish

36. Do you have a crush on someone: who knows, not me

37. What do you like about yourself: im reaally good on emergencies

38. Want any piercings: not really

39. Blood type: no idea, a i think?

40. Nicknames: bro or hey you

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: libra

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: at this very moment, deception or b99

45. Tattoos: i wish, i want a red feather behind my ear

46. Right or left handed: right

47. Ever had surgery: wisdom teeth

48. Piercings: none

49. Sport: XC/ track

50. Vacation: yes?

51. Trainers: i wear the same pair for everything

— More General

52. Eating: doritos

53. Drinking: nothing

54. Im about to watch: the new episode of deception, if my dad finished black mirror

55. Waiting for: my anxiety to die down

56. Want: to sleep for 4 days

57. Get married: maybe, if i find someone i like enough

58. Career: CFO of a music company, but also probably a chemist

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60: lips or eyes: eyes

61. Taller or shorter: taller, tall people give the best hugs

62. Older or younger: same age

63. Nice arms or stomach: dont care

64. Hookups or relationships: relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: whatever the mood is

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope

67. Drank hard liquor: once on accident and never again

68. Turned someone down: haven’t been asked out

69. Sex on first date: *asexual laughter*

70. Broken someone’s heart: gee i hope not

71. Had your heart broken: do terrible book to movie adaptations count?

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: yes

74. Fallen for a friend: so often its a problem

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: not really? Not at this present moment

76. Miracles: yeah

77. Love at first sight: nope

78. Santa Claus: i believe in the concept of him, if that makes sense

79. Angels: yes

— Misc

80. Eye color: blue

81. Best friend’s name: they definitely have one

82. Favorite movie: ummmmmmmmmm memento or the prestige

83. Favorite actor: rn its tom holland

84. Favorite cartoon: miraculous ladybug probably

85. Favorite teacher’s name: Miss T, or Mrs. Walle, or Mashby

WHEW well that was long but fun. Lets tag @sapphic-asteroid @saltbaekei @ivegotthislove @papillonemheliosa @pancake13error @typicalyaoifangirl @kierenrose @kaidad @ylove-bandaesthetics @d3kv @dreamlurkerdreameater @hardrock-mysticrage @just-a-shy-and-depressed-lesbian @justatracersexual @legimus-ergo-sumus @cuddlycryptid @vintageunicornblood @bandobsessed510 and yeah thats all i got. Fun times. You dont have to if you dont want to, obviously, but it was fun! Anyway, have a great day yall

thanks for tagging me @chirpchirpstanley ,, i love you with my whole ass heart

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. Last Drink: water

2. Last Phone Call: my dad, i think. i don’t call people too often ahah

3. Last Text Message: ‘mom and i are on our way to pick up adam :)’ to my dad, we were picking up my brother from his house

4. Last Song You Listened To: spiderhead by cage the elephant

5. Last Time You Cried: yesterday lol,, i was listening to bored by billie eilish and got sad n shit

6. Dated Someone Twice?: in like grade 5 lmao ew

7. Kissed Someone and Regretted It?: considering i’ve never kissed someone ever, no

8. Been Cheated On?: no

9. Lost Someone Special?: hasn’t everyone?

10. Been Depressed?: no

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up?: no

Favorite Colors

12. yellow

13. light green (like pastel. reminds me of little tree frogs haha)

14. orange, i guess

In the Last Year Have You…

15. Made New Friends?: yes! mostly internet friends and i love them sm <3

16. Fallen Out of Love?: can’t do that if i’ve never been in love,,

17. Laughed Until You Cried?: probably

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You?: all the time lmao i’m not a very likeable person irl oops

19. Met Someone Who Changed You?: yeah

20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are?: i don’t know,,

21. Kissed Someone on Your Facebook Friends List?: i literally deleted facebook days after i got it and the only friends i had were family members,, no i guess i have?? but not in the way they mean haha

General

22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know IRL?: uhh idk all of them i guess

23. Do You Have Any Pets?: a grey tabby named lily. i love her!! so!! much!! i would die for her honestly

24. Do You Want to Change Your Name?: not really

25. What Did You Do for Your Last Birthday?: i can’t remember,, it was only a few months ago too oof

26. What Time Did You Wake Up Today?: 6:30, i had school today smh

27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night?: loving my friends :,)

28. What Is Something You Can’t Wait For?: graduation, honestly

30. What Are You Listening To Right Now?: cigarette daydreams - cage the elephant

31. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom?: no

32. Something That Gets On Your Nerves?: me. my dumb ass gets on my nerves

33. Most Visited Website: youtube, probably. or tumblr ahah

34. Hair Color: i guess you’d call it dirty blonde? it’s almost brown but not really sorry if that doesn’t make sense lol

35. Long or Short Hair: short, just a bit above my shoulders

36. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: i don’t know,, someone’s been on my mind a lot though

37. What Do You Like About Yourself: my lips, i guess. they’re pretty nice.

38. Want Any Piercings?: i’d like a septum piercing when i’m older

39. Blood Type: A+ or something? i don’t remember whoops

40. Nicknames: people used to call me hannah montana when i was little, i wanted to choke them out lmao.

41. Relationship Status: single

42. Zodiac: sagittarius babyy

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave TV Shows: stranger things and the office lol

45. Tattoos: none, but i’d like some when i’m older

46. Right or Left Handed: right

47. Ever Had Surgery: no

48. Piercings: i got my ears pierced years ago, but i haven’t worn earrings in so long. i think the holes closed

49. Sport: lmao

50. Vacation: uh i went to prince edward island a couple years ago?

51. Trainers: Uh, like shoes? Or does this mean more physical activity?

More General

52. Eating: nothing atm

53. Drinking: nothing atm,, i want water though i’m hella thirsty

54. I’m About to Watch: the office lmao

55. Waiting For: summer :)

56. Want: a dog!!

57. Get Married: if i find the right person, maybe

58. Career: camera operator, or radio show host

Which is Better

59. Hugs or Kisses: hugs!

60. Lips or Eyes: eyes, they’re all so unique and pretty

61. Shorter or Taller: both, but if i had to choose i’d choose taller because tall people hugs are the best ahah

62. Older or Younger: idk? both?

63. Nice Arms or Stomach: i don’t like these questions!! just have a nice personality and i’ll like you!!

64. Hookup or Relationship: relationship.

65. Troublemaker or Hesitant: i’d like to think i’m a bad bitch but i’m just a scared bitch

Have You Ever

66. Kissed a Stranger: no

67. Drank Hard Liquor: no

68. Lost Glasses: my fucking cousin stole my favourite pair of sunglasses last summer and i still don’t have them back i’m suing

69. Turned Someone Down: yeah

70. Sex on First Date: no sex for me thanks

71. Broken Someone’s Heart: maybe, but i’d never do it on purpose!

72. Had Your Heart Broken: yeah, it was my fault though so it’s all good haha

73. Been Arrested: no

74. Cried When Someone Died: yeah

75. Fallen For a Friend: i think,,

Do You Believe In

76. Yourself: no lmao

77. Miracles: not really

78. Love at First Sight: no

79. Santa Claus: no?

80. Kiss On a First Date: idk, unless you really like them then go for it lol

81. Angels: yeah n all my followers are live proof :) 💛💛

Other

82. Best Friend’s Name: i don’t think i have a best friend, but i do have a few good friends named fife, sarah, and liv

83. Eye Colour: blue/green. they’re pretty ugly lol

84. Fave Movie: it (2017) lmao

85. Fave Actor: literally the entire st and it cast. i love them sm :)

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, it’s super long. i also don’t even talk to 20 people but here we go lmao @vintagetozier @sten-bros @glitterkaspbrak @wolfhardedits

1036.

5k Survey LXXVI

3901. What is the most annoying tv ad? >> Implying that they aren’t all annoying? 3902. If you died, how would you hope others would remember you? >> I’m not concerned about that right now. I’m still on “are people even going to care?”, so. 3903. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say 'no' to: >> This reminds me of how Sparrow and I have “body snatcher” questions -- like, questions you’d ask if you’re suspicious that the other person has been possessed or replaced by a lookalike impostor or whatever. And one of hers for me is “do you want Red Robin?” because I never say no to Red Robin, lmao. 3904. What is the softest part of your body? >> I don’t know, man. My organs??? 3905. What family do you want to see in place of the Osbournes when they finally stop doing their show? >> ---

3906. If you could pick 3 bands to go on tour together who would they be? >> I don’t care. We can’t go to concerts right now anyway. 3907. What is a main differance between western and eastern philospohy? >> Location. 3908. Would you be fooled by Joe/Josephine Millionaire? >> Who? 3909. Do you believe Michael Jackson does innoprpriate things at his Neverland Ranch? Like what? >> I don’t care. I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care. When he died the first thing I thought was, “oh, good, then I won’t have to hear about this shit anymore”. That’s how much I do not care. 3910. What do you think of gov. Ryan who cleared out Illinois' death row? >> This means nothing to me. 3911. Would you want a $500 gift certificate to: Kmart or Target? Target. Kmart doesn’t even exist in this area anymore. Macy's or Hot Topic? Macy’s. As much as I nostalgically love Hot Topic, let’s be real -- the clothing quality is shit, not to mention that they really don’t sell the same shit I used to love about them anymore. Border's Books or Spencer Gifts? oh, I miss Borders! :’( Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood? I don’t wear lingerie, so I guess you’ll be giving that Frederick’s gift certificate to Sparrow. 3912. What do you think of this website: www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ >> Oh, that’s hilarious. I’m glad I actually went to see what it was, considering I’m usually lazy about that on surveys, lol. 3913. Man vs Elephant. A zookeeper was treating a constipated elephant. He gave her too much laxitive. Suddenly everything exploded out onto the zookeeper. He was knocked to the ground where he hit his head on a rock and got knocked out. There he suffocated under a pile of elephant dung. True story. Is it a funy story? If yes, what is funny about it? Why is it so taboo to laugh at death? >> I can see the humour in it -- I love ridiculous death stories -- but the concept is too gross for me to think about. And it’s taboo to laugh at death because people often feel like if you laugh at something you can’t also take it seriously when need be -- which isn’t true at all, in my experience. I laugh at death jokes and funny death stories without fail, but if someone told me someone they loved just died in [insert ridiculous way here] I’m not going to fucking laugh in their face about it. (People are welcome to laugh if I die in a ridiculous way, though. I’d probably do it on purpose just to add some levity to the situation.) 3914. What are your favorite five things from this list: alternate realities, animals, astronomy, birds, camus, cats, cheap trick, cocaine, cooking, costumes, dancing, elvis, gambling, greta garbo, james dean, jeff buckley, joy division, marilyn monroe, mixed drinks, moody blues, morrissey, mozart, my bloody valentine, orbital, pizza, playing flute, prince, radiohead, rummy 500, scrabble, table tennis, talk talk, van morrison, writing >> Alternate realities, astronomy, dancing, James Dean, Joy Division. Also mixed drinks. Preferably while listening to Joy Division and looking at the stars. 3915. Do you have to read lots to be able to write well? >> I think it helps. 3916. Vanilla ice. Everyone loved him, suddenly everyone hated him. What was the deal?? >> I’m sure there was a story, but I certainly don’t care enough to know it. 3917. If you could kick one person out of the grammies who would it be (Avril, Eminem, etc)? >> --- 3918. Studies have revealed that when sending out a resume a person has a 50% higher chance of getting a responce if their name is white sounding than if it is black sounding. What do you think about this? Why do companies respond this way? >> I don’t know what these “studies” are, whether they actually existed, or whether they were even reputable (or repeatable...), but in the case that that does happen, it wouldn’t surprise me. Like, racism is a real thing that has real repercussions, lmao. We been knew. 3919. Should Big Fat Greek Wedding really be a Big Fat Greek sitcom? >> I don’t know??? 3920. What are you addicted to? >> Nothing. 3921. What fascinates you? >> A lot of things. 3922. What is fascinating about you? >> I’m not sure. 3923. Personality wise, is anything the same for all human beings and if so, what? >> I don’t know, and I wouldn’t dare to speculate. 3924. What kind of a contest woud you have a shot at winning? >> I’m not sure. 3925. You see a dirty punk kid who had a giant cowboy hat on who is rolling his own cigarettes. Your impression? >> “hah, check out Mini Odin over here”, probably. 3926. What would you never want to have more than 2 of? >> Ears??? I don’t know, dude. 3927. Is there a movie you just could not finish watching? What and why? >> Yeah, there’s quite a few movies like that. Beyond the Black Rainbow was one. It was just too fucking esoteric for me. 3928. Is there anyone that you love and want to be around for no explainable reason? >> Well, I mean, there’s a reason... it’s because Can Calah is wonderful and makes me feel good to be around. 3929. Would you go to times square for new years? >> Fuck no. I used to live like a 15-minute walk from Times Square and I still wouldn’t go on NYE. That is literal pure hell and I really don’t know why people do that to themselves. Watching it on TV at home with people you like (or even just by yourself/with your dog) and some snacks and a bottle of champagne is the true ideal. 3930. Do you think that there are to many signs blocking up the scenery? >> Like... street signs??? Is this a reference to something 3931. Did video really kill the radio star? >> *shrug* 3932. What was your favorite atari game? >> I’ve never played Atari. 3933. what is your favorite neon color? >> Neon green. 3934. Do you get depressed eveytime it rains? If yes, why? >> No, although a rainy day may exacerbate an already gloomy mood (I am absolutely solar-powered). 3935. 'The more you admit that all your actions are robotic, the less robotic you are.' What does Tim leary mean by this? Do you agree or disagree and why? How much of your actions do you admit are robotic? >> I personally don’t know what the fuck he’s on about, but all those “LSD gurus” said some weird shit like that on a regular basis. It was part of their charm, I guess (and definitely fit in with all the counterculture stuff going on in that era). 3936. Are we not men? >> Well, I’m not. I’m a spider. 3937. Is it easy to be you? Would being someone else make it any easier? >> It is very much not easy to be me. Being me is often so exhausting and energy-consuming that I can’t do anything else some days. I don’t know what it is like to be anyone else, though, so I can’t comment on that. I’m doing my best with what I’ve got. 3938. Why are sex religion and politics such taboo subjects? >> Because people usually have very strong, deep-set beliefs and opinions about those things, which can lead to strife if everyone in the room is not in agreement. 3939. Is there really a differance between republicans and democrats? >> Yes. Otherwise the divide wouldn’t exist in the first place. I would allow that the differences are changeable (as the foundational policies of both parties have shifted over time), but they still exist either way. 3940. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: were fat? limped? were a midget? had hiv? were paralized in one arm? had a glass eye? had only 6 months to live?

3941. What makes you experiance nostalgia? >> I mean, a lot of things. 3942. What do you remember about these historical figures: Woodrow Wilson? Hellen Keller? Christopher Columbus? 3943. Out of the above three figures, one is a huge racist, one is a socialist and one is a slave trader. Can you guess which is which? Racist: socialist: slave trader: 3944. Betcha they didn't tell you that in american history. Wilson, Keller and Columbus are painted as heros, impossibly good, ideal people. Why are so many things ommitted from and lied about in american history text books? >> *sigh* 3945. Do you drink super caffinated energy drinks? >> I don’t drink energy drinks, and I avoid caffeine levels higher than that which is in a cup of black tea. 3946. eminem or moby? >> Eminem. 3947. spongebob or the animanicas? >> I’ve never seen the Animaniacs, but I don’t much care for Spongebob, so I guess I’d watch Animaniacs if I had to choose. 3948. Why do people rush to grow up only to wish they were a child again? >> Social pressure, and then disillusionment. *shrug* My best guess. That’s not the experience I had/am having, so I can’t speak from experience. 3949. Why do people sacrifice their health to obtain money and then use the money to restore their health? >> Because capitalism is hell. 3950. Jetsons or Flintstones? >> I don’t have a preference. They kind of strike me as the same show just set in wildly opposite time periods, lol.

Scrapbook 2019 | Pt III

I can’t fucking edit my post because this website is crap, so we get a part three even though there’s only two more months to 2019. But whatever, I’m not bitter or anything.

Reminder:

Normal font - Indifferent/Neutral Italicized font - Enjoyed bold font - Loved with an asterisk* - All time favorite (bracketed titles) - Re-watches/Re-reads strikethough - Disliked

Goals are: read one hundred books this year (finished!), finish five video games (finished!), write something novel-length (not so much, does it count if I wrote a novel’s worth of short stories in October?) and write something original (technically done? don’t know if I want to count a snippet that didn’t even hit 1k). These last two goals CAN be combined (I might try NaNo this year, so we will see).

Part I: January-July Part II: August-October

MOVIES

November

The King

(V For Vendetta)

(Avengers: Endgame)

(Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas)

Frozen 2

(Winnie the Pooh)

Journey to the Sun

December

Klaus

(Aladdin: Return of Jafar)

Hotel Artemis

(The Santa Claus)

(Star Wars: A New Hope)

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

(Love Actually)

BOOKS

November

The Gilded Wolves | Roshani Chokshi [Fin]

Words of Radiance | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Oathbringer | Brandon Sanderson

The Hating Game | Sally Thorne [Fin]

Again, But Better | Christine Riccio [Fin]

The Queen of Nothing | Holly Black [Fin]

North and South | Elizabeth Gaskell

December

Oathbringer | Brandon Sanderson [Fin]

Snow, Glass, Apples | Neil Gaiman, Colleen Doran [Fin]

North and South | Elizabeth Gaskell [Fin]

The Starless Sea | Erin Morgenstern [Fin]

There There | Tommy Orange [Fin]

The Secret Commonwealth | Philip Pullman

The Library of the Unwritten | A.J. Hackwith [Fin]

PODCASTS

November

The Penumbra Podcast s3, Eps 2-3

The Magnus Archives Eps 160

King Falls AM Eps 11-30

Adventure Zone Moonlighting Pt 1

(Zero Hours: When the Beat Drops)

December

The Magnus Archives Q&A

Outliers s1, ep 1

King Falls AM Eps 31-34

TV SHOWS

November

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural, s6

His Dark Materials, s1

She-Ra, s4

(Gargoyles, s1)

South Park

Rick & Morty, s4

Star vs the Forces of Evil s1, s2

The Flash, s4

The Dragon Prince, s4

The Mandalorian

Star Wars: Rebels, s1

December

His Dark Materials, s1

The Mandalorian

The Dragon Prince, s4

The Untamed

The Good Place, s3

The Witcher, s1***

The Great British Bake Off, s7

VIDEO GAMES

November

Assassin’s Creed: Origins (10 hours)

Death Stranding (10 hours)

Pokemon: Shield (20 hours)

December

Pokemon: Shield (20 hours)

Red Dead Redemption 2 (2 hours)

DELIGHTFUL FIC

November

The Sun Dog by ambiguously | Star Wars | Finn/Ren/Rey | 5k | Finn and Rey, with their semi-prisoner Kylo Ren, attempt to meet up with the Resistance on a planet that has been taken over by monsters.

Seeing Ghosts by blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4.5k | Ryan blames the entire thing on temporary insanity.

silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 3.6k | The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. 

sing all your questions to sleep by Wildehack (tyleet) | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jon | 1.5k | Jon, Martin, and Basira take a breath.

as ordinary things often do by lymricks | Stranger Things | Harringrove | 4k | Max is yelling out the window, “She means like, two weeks--” before they’re turning around the corner and--And Steve is standing on the front steps of Billy Hargrove’s house, keys jingling in his palm, thinking what the fuck?

on hairpins by Lirazel | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Gen | 3k | When the citizens of Attolia complain that the Thief of Eddis is a terrible influence on their queen, they have no way of knowing the truth of their own words.

the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet) | The Magnus Archives | Martin/Jon | 4.6k | "And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella"

you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k | (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

rumour has it by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 1.5k | “Costis, what in the name of the gods happened? I have heard from five separate people that you have a secret sweetheart who you went to meet on your day off.”

Home Was A Dream by impertinence | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 3k | Lunch, a mysterious fruit, revelations, and sex. In that order.

Well Loved by SerenadeStrong (ninja_orange) | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 3.5k | Gen finally convinces Costis to sleep with his wife.

and so begins by romanoff | Marvel | Steve/Tony | 8k | After Tony's death, Steve is adrift. He carries Tony's body, and thinks: I never said thank you.

something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Costis/Attolia/Eugenides | 21k | It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Covenant by liesmyth | Stormlight Archive | Kaladin/Adolin | 9k | Adolin had never imagined he’d meet his match like this, on the dusty streets of Sadeas’s warcamp - or that it would be a bridgeman of all people, defiance clear in his dark brown eyes.

How Do You Catch a Storm and Pull It Down? by liadan14 | Stormlight Archive | Kaladin/Adolin/Shallan | 4k | It takes Shallan approximately two months after the wedding to realize that she is an idiot.

Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | 9k | Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

waiting for the sunlight by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | 18k | Sara had always known, growing up as both an only child and a princess, that she would likely not marry for love. 

Fifty Shades of Gold by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 21k | That’s his official position: he’s over Ricky Goldsworth.Shane’s unofficial position, regrettably, is that he’d rather be under Ricky Goldsworth.

(these things take time by sonhoedesrazao | Les Mis | Enjolras/Grantaire | 63k | He’s always wary of making assumptions; even more so when Grantaire is concerned. He knows he’s not the easiest person to deal with. People either like him or can’t stand him, and it’s easy to respond to those reactions, but Grantaire—Grantaire is hostile and mocking, Grantaire scorns his beliefs, and Grantaire stays.)

December

Begin the Begin, Over and Over by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 33k | Shane only agrees to be handcuffed to Ryan for a video because he can put up with anything for twenty-four hours. That’s the funny thing about time loops, though—they don’t always adhere to the parameters set by clickbait videos.

When I Fall to Rise by lc2l | Thor | Loki/Thor | 41k | Loki wakes up to ship alarms blaring, the air full of ash and Valkyrie saying she brought him back because she needs his help. She's captaining a small emergency vessel containing the last handful of Asgardians desperately looking for a place to call home. And she's having to do it sober.

From Orbit by astolat | Star Wars | Leia/Han/Luke | 4k | “You’ve got to quit doing this,” Han said.

Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 14k | Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

ready if it happens with you by sarcasticfishes | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 4k | It’s not a thing. Ryan’s just a little… touch-starved. Intimacy-starved.

I fancied you’d return the way you said by ambiguously | Star Wars | Reylo | 3k | No one else can see him. Rey is used to that.

i kill giants by diasterisms | Star Wars | Reylo | WIP | 7k | "Rey Skywalker?" There's a vaguely sardonic twist to the corner of his mouth. "Does that make you my cousin now?"

DELIGHTFUL FANVIDS

November

MARVEL/DC - Runnin

THE WITCHER | MAIN TRAILER | NETFLIX

(GoT) Daenerys Targaryen | Meant To Fall

Game of Thrones | Never Wanted to Leave

young god.. (multifandom)

Poison & Wine | Ben and Rey

Multifandom ][ Glitter & Gold

rules of nature [multifandom amv]

December

what's up danger [Death Stranding]

Kylo Ren || Destiny

star wars || blue monday

K[L]AUS | High Enough

2019 Movie Trailer Mashup

Reylo | My Love Will Never Die [tros spoilers] Rey & Ben

Reylo | Dusk Till Dawn [+TROS Spoilers]

REYLO || SOMEBODY TO DIE FOR (+tros)

Multifandom Mashup 2019

DELIGHTFUL MUSIC

November

Frozen 2 Soundtrack

Les Mis Soundtrack

December

Spotify Unwrapped 2019

Reylo Playlist

POSTED FIC

November

open the walls, play with your dolls | Coraline | Coraline/Wybie | 2,886 words | Halloween at the Pink Palace is a lot like any other time of year.

December

yule gift #2 - 4,639 words [fin]

WIPS | UNPUBLISHED | ORIGINAL

November

December

yule gift #1 - 1,267 words [unfinished]

yule gift #2 - 4,639 words [fin]

FANMIXES/GRAPHICS

November

Havoc

December

Somebody to Die For - a Reylo playlist

Tagged by @tigerx37 and @sugakookies

Thanks for tagging me! 

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. 

LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone Call: my mom  3. Text Message: “struggling” - sent to my friend, Nhi  4. Song You Listened To: Yes I Am by Mamamoo 

5. Time You Cried: this morning, I just got my period and everyone was yelling at me and I was sensitive ;~; 

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated Someone Twice: listen--it was middle school  7. Kissed Someone and Regretted It: yes, it was my first kiss and my “friend” forced me to kiss him (in which my real friends said it counts for now)  8. Been Cheated On: no 9. Lost Someone Special: no  10. Been Depressed: yes (?) not clinically, but at certain moments, yes.  11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: no 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12 - 14. white, black, and pink 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made New Friends: yes  16. Fallen Out of Love: ... does Chanyeol count?  17. Laughed Until You Cried: yes 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: yes, apparently a girl in my English class loves me because I understand the material and help her often on the assignments (’: 19. Met Someone Who Changed You: no..? 20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are: yes 21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: no, I don’t have FB

GENERAL: 22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life: I don’t have FB  23. Do You Have Any Pets: at the moment, yes - two dogs named Bread and Boba and I love them with all of my heart  24. Do You Want to Change Your Name: kinda, because it sounds so basic and unexpected from an Asian chick 25. What Did You Do for Your Last Birthday: I have a friend with a birthday a literal day after mine and we decided to have a sleepover to celebrate it together  26. What Time Did You Wake Up: I woke up at like 7 (by accident), fell asleep and officially woke up at like 9:30  27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: ... struggling  28. Name Something You Can’t Wait For: college, these people are driving me to the brink of insanity  29. When Was the Last Time You Saw Your Mom: um, 5 pm today? 

30. One Thing You Wish You Could Change in Your Life: I honestly wish that my family had more money that or getting a job 31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Mamamoo’s Yes I Am on repeat - that shit iS mY jAM  32. Have You Ever Talked to a Person Named Tom: I knew a guy named Tommy 33. Something That is Getting on your Nerves: I’m in my senior year and I will literally snap at anyone who pisses me off this year because I have been holding in my anger for three fucking years  34. Most Visited Websites: youtube, ondramanice, and google classroom 

35. Mole/s: I think I have one on my back, but I can’t really be sure  36. Mark/s: I have three (maybe four) beauty marks on my face, one giant ass one on the right side of my right thigh and one a couple of inches from my right knee cap  37. Childhood Dream: I literally did everything as a child - I wanted to be a teacher, a chef, idol, hotel manager, doctor, etc. I got all these cute little toy sets and my customers were my teddy bears  38. Hair Color: dark brown - IT’S NOT BLACK  39. Long or Short Hair: I look better in long-ish hair, which is what I have stuck with for the past 17 years of my life 40. Do You Have a Crush on Someone: Oppar because everyone else is trashier than I am :) 41. What Do You Like About Yourself: I can be extremely savage and I love seeing my classmates’ faces fall when they realize just because I’m quiet, doesn’t mean I don’t bite - I also like my creativity (fun fact: I am the Queen of Trifolds and I will dominate all the tables)  42. Piercings: my ears, but I want one on my eyebrow for some reason 43. Blood Type: I don’t really know, but all the quizzes I have taken tell me that I’m type A 44. Nickname: kelly jelly, grandma, mom as well as wine mom 45. Relationship Status: currently in hate with my ap chem book :-))))))) 46. Zodiac: gemini / dragon (year of 2000) 47. Pronouns: she / her  48. Favorite TV Show: Running Man and Bob’s Burgers

49. Tattoos: don’t have any, but I want one that goes down my neck 

50. Right or Left Hand: right 51. Surgery: no, thank god 52. Hair Dyed In a Different Color: no, but I want to

53. Sport: ............... no 55. Vacation: I’m currently in Vietnam to visit family  56. A Pair of Trainers:??

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing, but I want ramen, shaved ice and ice cream 58. Drinking: nothing, but there’s coconut water in the fridge for me... 59. I’m About To: sleep? tumblr?  61. Waiting for: this post to be finished 62. Want: to die to finish my chem packet 63. Get Married: I want to, but know it’s robably not gonna happen lol

64. Career: I want to either be a clinical psychologist, kindergarten teacher, or a book editor

65. Hugs or Kisses: backhugs, but forehead kisses are the shit 66. Lips or Eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or Taller: taller someone has to reach the shelves for me

68. Older or Younger: I don’t really mind, but older sounds nicer 70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: aRMS, toNED ARMS  71. Sensitive or Loud: someone’s gotta be the loud one between us  72. Hook Up or Relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: both? I mean I like to prank my friends sometimes, but I also like people are careful and think about their decisions

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank Hard Liquor: no 76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: my first glasses, yes lol and then I lost my sister’s glasses  77. Turned Someone Down: ... yes? no? I don’t remember 78. Sex on the First Date: no 79. Broken Someone’s Heart: yes 80. Had your Heart Broken: all the time mingyu wonwoo wei hoseok  yes but not really, it was elementary so?? 81. Been Arrested: no, let’s keep it that way 82. Cried When Someone Died: yes, but no - I haven’t had someone close to me die, but when kdrama characters die, I cry? 83. Fallen For a Friend: yes, because I think it’s better to know someone before you date them (I’ve liked many of my friends before we dated)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: **sweats in Vietnamese** 85. Miracles: no? I think it’s more of luck

86. Love at First Sight: no 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss On The First Date: no

OTHER: 90. Current Best Friend Name: Nhi  91. Eye Color: brown 92. Favorite Movie: 27 Dresses, Mulan, along with Beauty and the Beast (original and 2017)

tagging: @cupcakewoozer, @charrytommoto, @btsfunkytown, @babyjagihoney, @baekhyuns-succulent-lips - it’s not 20, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Reminder: you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to! 

Thank you again for tagging me @sugakookiessss and @tigerx37

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? no idea, I’d like to spend it with my parents but dad might work at the time and also sister can visit, I’m not even sure if I will be alive at the time nor if I want holidays as I have no money nor can’t eat much anyway

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? no Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? maybe vegetarian but not a vegan for sure Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? we have no car

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? from afar Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? I don’t :( Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? you mean if I listened to a live orchestra? not really Do your parents know how to text? not my mother Do you text your parents often? I text my father at least once a day when he’s at work What television channel do you watch the most? none anymore What will you do when this survey is over? take a bath and go to sleep, I play choices in the meantime, I might listen to music yet  What’s the weather like today? there was a thunderstorm How do you usually celebrate New Years? I was listening to music with my family, we had special food and then we looked at fireworks through the window drinking non alcoholic champagne  Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? it’s quiet

What was the last thing you took a video of? what kind of friend I am on snapchat or smth on tik tok that I set as private

What’s something that used to really stress you out, but doesn’t anymore? school as I no longer attend it Do you prefer to be around introverted or extroverted people? I’m an introvert and I prefer NOT to be around people  Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? never but sometimes I go to the mall and there are ppl speaking russian instead of polish  Have you ever dated someone from a very different socioeconomic background? yep Were you born before or after the collapse of the Soviet Union? year after How often do you go grocery shopping? about every second day or third? If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? it wouldn’t be born What was your last received text message about? M. wishing me good night Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? my town was a bit like this when I was a baby Are you a procrastinator? huge What was the last thing you said out loud? BYE or smth like that

Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? I haven’t

Have you ever studied abroad? neither Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? sorta List three things that you need to get done in the next few days? take my dog to the vet, get my examinations results and give them to my gastrologist, go on a date, do grocery shopping etc. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? being me What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ ugh... What was the last website you were on, before this one? Google Do you ever lose track of what day of the week it is? who doesn’t Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? could say so, my dad was busy often but I also had my grandma around Have you ever spent over $50 (€43) on a bottle of wine? - Have you ever locked your keys in your car? I don’t get it, how is that even possible? :o What season do you wish lasted longer? summer How old is the last male you texted? 60+ How old is the last female you texted? 28 Have you ever ‘taken a break’ in a relationship? If so, how did things turn out? could say so

How many times have you ever ridden an elephant? 0 but I want to What do you think about Lord of the Rings? cool

Do you have a lot of clothes hangers in your house? shitload Have you ever been in a Latin class? floristry  Have you ever had bubble gum stuck in your hair? once Is there any pet hair stuck to your clothing? I don’t think so Have you ever watched The Gremlins? nah Is your cell on charge? it is indeed What do you think about rainbows? ... Are you wearing anything on your head right now? am not Do you own a pet spider? I don’t Do you like mouthwash? I dislike it Do you use green pens? very rarely Are there any fake tattoos on you? none Can you roll your belly? a bit Is there a rocking chair in your house? there isn’t Have you ever gone to a Monster Truck show? would like to someday but it’s not necessary Have you ever been kicked in the throat? punched/slapped/hit  Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? ironically Do you own a feather boa? blergh Do you wear ribbons in your hair? used to have this special decoration that I made myself - it was a ponytail made out of ribbons and my friends’ mom or grandma was calling it Krakowianka Do you use cheat codes on video games? motherlode How long has it been since you last slept? over ten hours Is the sound on your laptop or computer turned off? it’s on How many keychains do you own? too many lmfao Magnets? several Do you own anything with a peace sign on it? doubt it When is the last time you wore shorts? this month which is new/weird to me Do you like elevators or escalators? use them when I need to Is there anyone in the room with you? I’m alone When is the last time you pet an animal? today

Is it windy outside? who knows Have you ever met a dog named ‘Spot’? I called one this way

Do you usually wrap gifts or just put them in a bag? give them without packing or anything  When was the last time you were given jewelery as a gift? this year If you look out the window closest to you - what do you see? darkness Have you ever used crutches? for “fun” If Willy Wonka invited you to live with him, would you? ewww, creepy Do you own a pair of pink shoes? mhm Have you ever been in a tree house? sadly not Have you ever been outside in freezing cold weather with no jacket on? ha! it reminds me of the time we’ve been using hot glue for couple of hours to make floral decorations in class and we all started going crazy like on drugs and we wen outside in T-shirts in a freezing cold winter time to finish projects and we didn’t feel anything pfft - I wasn’t sick afterwards :P The last time you said “I want it” - what was it that you wanted? not sure what was last but I want health constantly if that counts What color are your sunglasses? they’re not colorful Are you picky about how your clothes fit? I like ‘em oversized Would you ever flirt with somebody in front of your parents? slightly Would you ever move to China? what for What material are the pants you’re wearing made of? cotton

How long have you had your current mattress? years Do you usually pay with cash, debit card, or credit card? cash always What do you usually drink with breakfast? I drink water an hour after breakfast

Are you the type of person who can make friends with just about anyone? me? r u kidding? What’s your least favorite time of day? morning because of waking up but sunrises are pretty  How many burners does your stove have? 4 When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table? table Which room of your house is currently in the greatest need of cleaning? *shrug* not mine  When was the last time you shipped a package? uh oh I don’t even remember  Have you ever made a homemade pie? with my mom How old is your oldest cousin? don’t ask me

Do you ever have binges that last for hours, watching YouTube videos? not that long

Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? ^^”

Are there any movies out there that basically make you want to puke? Gummo *someone once told me it reminds them of me and I wasn’t able to watch half of it as it was so disgusting and that comment feels like one of the worst offensive shit anybody ever told [about] me

Are either of your parents laid of from work at the moment? retired

Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? no secrets like this

Have you ever told a secret on one of your friends you promised otherwise? you got me

Do you consider yourself a promiscious person? I’m an asexual but recently... Look to your left, what’s the first blue thing you see right now? there’s nothing blue on my left side atm as there’s a window 

Do you know anyone who has AIDS? What about yourself? no one that I know of 

Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? plenty of times

What’s one thing in your room you would die if your SO found? I wouldn’t die, I might be embarassed if anything

Does your school have a swimming pool? Or no? my schools didn’t have swimming pools

Do you prefer cappuccinos or frappuccinos? I only tried cappuccino before  Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? lake Are there any plants in your home? omg yes What food does honey go best with? I liked yoghurt with honey when I was a child Have you ever carved a pumpkin? less than 5 times Do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the Winter? I like it on windows only Have you ever reread a book? no? Would you ever like to own a chandelier? not crystal one 

Do you have any religious symbols in your home? bunch What religion do you identify with, if any? Christianity If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant? you mean vegetables?

Do you enjoy those tins of butter cookies? yeah Do you own any art supplies? I gave away most of them Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil? pen How many notebooks do you own? Are they all filled? I own lots of filled and empty notebooks

Are you currently sitting on your bed? I’m not

Did anything tend to make you extremely happy today?  nope

What month is it?  August

Do you know where the remote to the closest television is located or not? I know

Name one interesting fact about yourself that people might not know about? I hate The Nanny Affair on Choices and play it only to get diamonds

Do you ever have to write down a phone number to remember it, or not? every single time

Do you know anyone who has man-boobs?  many men have “boobs” *in middle school we had a guy who they were calling Pamela (Anderson) because of that

Do you know anyone who constantly puts themselves down?  that me

When was the last time you had a piece of cake?  yesterday or day before

Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced? Does it look painful? not personally

Do you think some famous people just shouldn’t be famous at all?  lots

Has anyone ever complimented you on your singing? Did you believe them? once in primary school and I think they tried to flirt with me but I believe they were lying or maybe they just tried to make fun of me? 

Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain? Did it seem romantic at the time? no thx

When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? in public, it was loud so I couldn’t help it

How satisfied with life are you at this exact moment in time? Why is this? no comment

Important post for y’all watching movies during quarantine

I know I don’t have many followers but if it helps someone it’s a win:

Please be aware of the media you’re consuming! Some of you don’t mind, some of you don’t have triggers to worry about, but some of us do and for these cases, I wanna remind you of the three sources I particularly use a lot before watching a movie.

1 - Unconsenting media: This website lists the use of any form of sexual violence used in movies. When you enter the name of the movie or show, it will tell you if there is any sexual violence depicted on screen, talked about, if it involves minors  and if there is any other form of harassment.

2 - Rotten Apples: This one is less about triggers, but it does a very important job: it tells us if a work of media involves people involved in cases of sexual misconduct.

3 - Does the dog die? - My favorite of all time, I use it for everything. This site tells all about any kind of trigger. It started as a resouce for people to know only if a dog died in the movie they were going to watch (hence the name) and some people started pointing out they needed a site like that for x and z subjects. The developers liked the idea and started including categories, and now you can know about a lot of things that may affect you - even if you don’t have a trigger, you might be in a bad day where you just can’t handle watching a movie just to see that one bad thing happening, and this site will tell you. It compiles a lot of information - such as “does the dog die”, “does an LGBT character die”, “does it have gore”, “does a car crash”, etc - with minimal spoilers, usually mantaining the answer to yes or no, with a field that gives a little more detail if necessary.

Please guys, be safe out there, use the resources if you need them, if not, tell other people about them in case they need it. Let’s all take care of each other even if at a distance and make sure that something we love using to distract us doesn’t become just another source of discomfort.

Also y’all install Netflix Party to watch with your friends.

If you know any other resouces let me know!