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#this post made more sense in my head ngl
jinxybri · 24 days
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What is family?
For a long long time, Rae only knew his family a mother who was trapped in a land he never knew of. He found his purpose in trying to find and free her. She was his family through blood. He cared for her.
Then came along two little lab assistants who cared. They brought him food, made him take breaks and listened to him when he needed to be heard. They became his family through choice. He loved them.
Through horrid pain he found out that a woman, a goddess, who had tortured his friends and used them as tools, was his second mother. She was his family through blood. He loathed her.
He came to learn that he had a sibling somewhere, wandering the world. He found hope in that knowledge; hope that one day he could find his blood family. He held out hope.
And then he found them. Through the God of Creation, he found his brother. They ran into each others open and waiting arms, thanking the world that they finally found each other. They were his blood family. He loved them.
His brother also had a father - their family was split into two; one with the God of Creation and their mother; and one with the Goddess of the Mind and their mother. He chose the first one, hoping that they would choose him in return.
For a time, they seemed to.
His purpose shifted, wanting to free the man who claimed to be his father - not by blood, mind you, but by choice. He worked day and night, barely sleeping, through his own sickness and declining health, to find a away to free him. To free a man who claimed to be his father.
He had almost died to a sickness and a vengeful goddess to free the god, and yet when the plan had failed, the God had retaliated with a reset.
Eventually though, through hurting an another family, he saved the man who claimed to be his father. He reunited father and child in hopes that he would be chosen.
And yet, when things went wrong, when he had a moment of panic and hurt his brother once, he was cast out. He was chased out of the family who had claimed they chose him.
Instead, an another person rose. He found a connection with the Goddess of the Mind, his mother. At first, he loathed it.
But over time, as she learned to be more like a parent to him, his brother and supposed father's presence faded from his side.
And then he died. He died, giving his powers to a man who called him a bastard. He was brought back to life with his mother's final choice. She had chosen to love him, and in turn, he loved her.
But he lost her.
Instead he was left in a world with a man, who's words were so foul and wrong, who twisted every promise and good thing into a nightmare. Such a horrid nightmare that his mind shattered.
His family was the one who helped him. The nephews who, throughout the years, still chose him as a family every single day; the friends he cared and loved as did they; and his partners, who he found home within, all came to his rescue.
His brother and supposed father were nowhere near.
When he returned, when his mind pieced itself back together and he had more answers about their mother, his brother turned him away and called him a liar.
And instead his brother turned into a nightmare, molded by the God of Creation.
But he kept trying, kept finding ways to show his brother that he was still there. That he cared. That he loved them.
That all broke when his brother took a step too far. When his brother killed one of his nephews.
Icarus had fallen far before, but this was the final strike.
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arklay · 1 year
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🖊🖊🖊🖊 for diana ofc
a fun little fact about diana is that she wears her watch with the face on the inside of her wrist
while working for umbrella (well, undercover for the rival company, that is), diana's employment was never common knowledge to the public – because why would a pharmaceutical company need a herpetologist? instead, she simply held a position as a researcher at raccoon university, and would occasionally do lectures, but for the most part she would just take the cable car underground to the nest
when diana collaborated with the connections through h.c.f. in the early 2000s, they named one of the d-type bioweapons after her
diana saw a lot of her younger self in sherry when they first met due to the similarities in their situations with their parents, and the way she behaved around both herself and albert. despite her dislike of children, she couldn't help but feel for her and even came to enjoy when she would stay over on occasion (i'd love if my brain would let me finish the rewrite of their first meeting because i touch on all of this in there and diana's thought process ough)
#asks.#denerims#oc: diana#thank youuu emily!! ilysm 💖💖#i think for the diana asks some things are going to be like things i have probably mentioned before but just like a lil more in depth...#you know how i am. or like things i've deleted since posting them. it's fine. i'm normal about her!! but many lil tidbits in my brain i can#share about her too. just not sure if i have enough rn for the couple of asks i got with lots of pens lmaooo head empty and i've talked#about her SO much that there's not much that's not around here somewhere on my blog in previous ask games oopsies or on her page#also ngl i'm forever mad that in the 3 remake they made nest 2. because the university lab was where the vaccine research for the#t-virus was done when things went to shit and they named that daylight. and then for the creating weapons to combat the b.o.w.s and also#test the bioweapons against one another was done at the r&d centre... i'm fine i'm okay it's okay. capcom can i pleaseeee have an outbreak#remake!!! i miss her!!!! but yeah that's weird cause nest 2 didn't exist originally and the nest was a lot bigger?? it's fine.#anyways she just did her typical like Legal research with herpetology and virology there as a front but then she'd take the cable car#underground to the nest because my rules. if travel to the nest was available by cable cars from the waste facility / treatment plant /#arklay labs / rpd sewers & training facility then i can add another one beneath the university :) ALSO in outbreak they travelled to the#actual nest from the hospital and not nest 2 :) so yes. underground system for employees to access all facilities basically 💅🏼#i originally had her work at the chemical plant as her front but then i went no that would make no sense for her background and like both#of the birkins were already there so it would just be too much going on there and needed to split them up#OH also. sorry omg i talk so much but you know me <3 the part about her working at the university. i literally had this mentioned in that#fic where she went over to the s.t.a.r.s. office and um things happened but i cut that off early cause i liked it ending where it did
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vamptastic · 6 months
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actually have no idea how people manage to function with high levels of empathy. i get very very mad about injustice in the world but it's more out of a "these people are being impractical and stupid, can't they see that they could solve this problem if they did xyz". and i value human life and happiness above all else because i find it straightforwardly logical. having your politics motivated by emotion seems kind of exhausting- i think it's very important to step back and look at something while setting aside your feelings about it. lot of people seem to get caught up in what's right and hypothetically morally justified and not what would cause the least amount of suffering, something i find to generally be the best metric. mostly feel this in regards to people who like to decide what should happen based on what people "deserve" or have "earned". not sure why hurt feelings about how hard you worked matter at all. or punitive justice types who get caught up on things being unfair or people not getting some kind of cosmic justice and are just totally unable to envision the wider societal effects of their beliefs.
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isekyaaa · 8 months
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It catches me off guard how many notes some posts on my other blogs get because I don't see all the activity on my activity pages and I don't check the posts directly so like I'll visit one day to see 11 other people also think it's funny Mondstadt forgot about Dvalin.
#rambles#i will say the tags on that post is a banger tho so it makes sense u///u#the dumb part of me just likes to think that people like reading my dumbass tags because sometimes i am funny#no but i got 21 notes on that genshin vs hsr post i made which really caught me off guard#i barely saw anything on my activity page#like i know i blocked a bunch of not sfw writers but like.......#do that many not sfw writers interact with my posts?#or is my activity page just acting weird?#ugh#i need to write more deep and actually interesting things on andsersdotters but the only things lit in my head are like#'once p*imon got high on mushrooms and went and hugged t*ghnari's tail thinking it was hers' (this is technically canon)#and#'how much u wanna bet x*ngqiu is tone deaf?'#i need to come up with better things for more popular characters#fun fact though totally off topic but did you know you can purchase curses on etsy#you can also contract ppl to contact different demons to do your bidding#like no legit type in a demon's name on etsy and it'll come up#can you believe it?#like ngl if i was a demon i'd feel highkey offended insulted and used???#i'd curse the person that posted those listings like what the hell man#the best part are these ppl have like 500+ 5-star reviews#you can also hire someone on etsy to write you a letter from your ex apologizing to give you closure#or from someone that has died#also 1000+ 5-star reviews#they can get your letter to you in less than an hour lol#the world is an amazing place#if i had all the money in the world i'd buy multiple letters to see how many times i need to buy to start getting duplicates lol
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irisintheafterglow · 8 months
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Parley? (opla!zoro x you)
summary: a stranger arrives to disturb your peace and you have no choice but to negotiate with him.
wc: 2.57k
cw/tags: first meeting, swearing, mentions of canon-typical violence including blood and swords, zoro doesn't know how to express his feelings
note: i'm so nervous posting this ngl because i really like zoro as a character but i'm scared that i'm not gonna do him justice since i don't know him as well as gojo or geto or bakugo etc etc etc. hopefully all yall zoro girlies like this because i've been itching to write for him since my explore page became nothing but mackenyu. enjoy!
likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3
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You hear the chimes first. The melody is soft, nearly imperceptible to the untrained ear, but you sense it. After all, you were the one who tied the string under the walkway floorboards in such a way that the bells above your window would clink if something pressed down on the wood. Over time, you learned to identify where outside was being pushed based on more strings and bells. It made it easier to find the Lady, on the rare occasion she stepped into open air and you weren’t with her. However, whoever was now setting off your makeshift alarm system had footsteps unlike the usual occupants of the house. The quietness of the notes was unsettling, in a way, because it meant they were creeping around the house. Someone didn’t want to be heard. 
It was the flowers next, the roses with uniquely reflective petals that were especially good at bouncing moonlight precisely through your window. The Lady commented one day in the market that she’d taken a liking to that particular flower, and you bought the vendor’s entire stock to plant around the house once you realized how it could be used. Not before you built a crow’s nest-like window, first. The glass structure jut out of the house in just the right way that you received colors from the left, right, and front of the house. Had an intruder approached from the back, your only blindspot, you would hear the more insistent clicks of the typewriter keys attached to the outside deck panels. The nearly noiseless bells and the ominous shadow sneaking across your wall were enough to snap you wide awake. 
The soles of your feet meet cool stone as you slide from under the covers, wrapping the sheath of your saber around your waist and slipping out of your bedroom. Despite the darkness of the hallway, your legs move by memory to the Lady’s chambers only to find the door already ajar. 
Shit. Were you too late?
Slinking into the room in one graceful stride, words leave your mouth without thinking when you see him standing over your Lady, holding two deadly-looking swords. 
“Taking a life halfway gone is immoral no matter the bounty, pirate hunter.” His head snaps in your direction and you have your blade on him before he can blink, resting the point lightly but threateningly against his throat. His eyes narrow on you challengingly and you put ever so slightly more pressure into your hilt, forcing him to surrender and sheath both swords. The third, you note, remains undrawn on his hip. “No better targets to pursue than a retiree? I expected better from the demon of the East Blue.” His gaze remains unchanging while you step forward, inching him backward until his head hits the wall with a soft thud. You were thankful, for once, that the Lady was starting to lose her hearing and was always a deep sleeper. 
“She’s wanted,” he says in a low tone. 
“She’s withered,” you retort. “Killing her advances justice no more than leaving her alive.” His face is still unreadable, void of any emotions just as the rumors conveyed. Many tales circulated of the infamous pirate hunter, but you chose to believe the Lady to be far too irrelevant to pose any real threat to the Marines. As one of the last known powerhouses of the Gold Roger era, it was more likely her wanted poster would be drowned out amongst younger hotshot pirates than for her to become an actual target. And yet, here was the most feared bounty hunter in the seas, hunting down a myth that many assumed was already six feet under. And for what, fun? 
“It doesn’t matter. Honor is a courtesy denied to killers.” He speaks in a way like you wouldn’t understand his ideas, and it sends a white-hot flash of anger racing through your veins. 
“Ooh, yes. You’re being so honorable by julienning a defenseless old woman while she sleeps.” To your surprise, he flinches, unwillingly bringing your eyes to corded muscle and flexed biceps. It’s a bit of a struggle to refocus on the task at hand. “Enlighten me on how this makes you feel vindicated.” 
“I kill pirates for a living,” he states simply, nodding over to the slumbering mass under the thick comforter. The tip of your sword follows every movement he makes, careful not to give him an opening to strike. Unexpectedly, he seems almost relaxed, like the weapon at his throat was the least of his worries. “That woman is a pirate.”
“That woman was a pirate. She is no longer the ‘Captain Indigo’ you seek.” 
“Who is she now, then?”
“Lady Lavender, adored by her constituents and far removed from a life of piracy. If I weren’t on the verge of spilling your organs on the carpet, I’d say visit the farmer’s market on Tuesdays. You’ll see just how different her life is now.” His chin tilts in disagreement.
“The Marines say otherwise.”
“What do you say?” A minute tilt of your wrist angles your saber so that the point now resides under his sharply defined jawline. “Hmm, hunter? Any opinions in that thick skull of yours or are you just another mindless government weapon?” 
“You understand nothing,” he mutters like an indignant teenager, looking off to the side woefully. It makes your blood boil.
“Try me,” you snarl at the green-haired stranger. In another life, you’d have thought him pretty handsome, if you weren’t so infuriated by his indifferent sense of justice. He knew nothing about you, or the Lady, or what either of you had to endure to create a sense of safety. Safety, you would add, that you weren’t going to give up easily. 
“This woman you serve, what are you to her? A caretaker? A child?” 
“A friend,” you answer cautiously. “Something your line of work would know nothing about.” 
“The Marines know that your friend murdered the former governor and seized the island in an act of desperation,” he informs you with a note of condescension. “They’ve wanted her gone for ten years, and I am here to collect her head. It’s not personal; it’s business.” The incorrectness of his information is laughable, but what concerns you more is the ease with which he talks of taking lives. 
“You don’t feel any sort of remorse for the targets you kill?” The anger in your stomach starts to rub against a different, unwanted influx of sorrow. After witnessing the change in a ruthless pirate empress, you refused to believe a human could be this heartless. 
“I don’t dwell on them long enough to care. Most of the time, they do something stupid that makes it a little easier to dispose of them.”
“And that’s where you’re wrong about her,” you recover, pressing the blade against his skin on the brink of drawing blood. He winces, squirming against the wallpaper for some sort of relief. You don’t budge. “The former mayor was a half-brother whom she reconnected with after Gold Roger’s execution. His death was caused by a misdosage of medicine used to treat hemorrhoids he’d suffered with since he was twenty. On his deathbed, he made her promise to take care of this city...” You inhale, focusing on the man in front of you. His expression is soft, nothing like you would have expected from a feared killer-for-hire. He was actually listening to you. 
“Go on.”
“And to take care of me. I have the great pirate hunter at the end of my blade, so she must not have done that bad of a job at either request.” He’s silent for a moment and you watch the cogs turn in his brain, hoping he’d find some humanity and realize that killing the Lady isn’t just pointless, it’s fundamentally wrong. 
“It doesn’t change the fact that I need money.” Nevermind, then. Backup plan it is. 
“I understand that,” you concede, and you remove your weapon from his neck. His hands are on the hilts of his swords instantly, but he doesn’t draw them. He could kill both you and the Lady in a single swing, but he doesn’t. Maybe you did reach a different side of him. “That's why I’m willing to cut you a deal.”
“I don’t make deals with pirat–” he starts, but abruptly cuts himself off when you raise your eyebrows in expectation. Did you not learn anything from what I just told you? His face contorts in confusion, as if his mind was at odds with what his body was telling him to do. After carefully schooling his expression into blankness, he stands to his full height, rolling a broad shoulder. “What’s the deal?”
“You’re aware of the Blue Ringed crew, yes?”
“Famous for their poisons, I’ve heard,” he confirms and you nod. “They cover every inch of their ship in toxins and wear special clothing to prevent contact with their skin. Makes it hard to sneak up on them.”
“Exactly. See, you’re not as uneducated as you look,” you tease and you feel your face heat when he sticks his tongue out at you. It’s so boyish and immature, in stark contrast to the handsome, god-bodied man that faces you. “I happen to have a counteragent, enough for you to get on their ship and collect three times the amount if you killed us tonight.” 
“And what would you get in return?”
“The sound of your boots walking off the property and never returning,” you whisper a little desperately, pleading with him to leave your perfect peace intact and forget this altercation ever happened. The quiet in the room as he ponders your offer is suffocating save for the gentle snores of Lady Lavender. Eventually, he takes your deal, inspecting the powder-filled vial when you bring it to him on the front porch. 
“How do I use it if it’s powder?”
“Mix it with lotion to help soak it faster into your skin. When your skin is dry, you’ll have roughly an hour to navigate the boat completely immune to the poison. It’s sweat resistant but will wash off with seawater, so take care not to get thrown overboard,” you instruct him, crossing your arms across your chest against the chilly ocean air blowing in from the south. It was breezier than normal and you regret not grabbing a sweater. Unless you wanted to freeze your ass off, you needed to finish this debacle quickly. “Kill the pirates, get your bounty, and leave us the hell alone. Deal?” 
“Fine by me.” He carefully places the vial in the pocket of his pants and begins his descent down the front walkway. Before you can turn back into the house, however, his voice reaches your ears so lightly you think you’d hallucinated it. “Stay warm.” 
He doesn’t end up keeping his side of the deal. A few days after your initial altercation, he approaches the house again in broad daylight holding a box about the size of your hand. You stare at him in disbelief, reading in the nook of your window and he has the audacity to smirk at you when he spots you looking. 
“I thought we had a deal, pirate hunter,” you remind him when you open the front door of the house. It was infuriating how good he looked for having just returned from a pursuit, dressed up in fine fabrics with his hair combed back nicely. The irony was palpable, the situation not unlike the stories the Lady told you about the numerous men who attempted to court her. They appeared at the same front door with flowers, rubies, and promises of devotion, but none of them actually wanted her heart. In contrast, you wanted to stab the heart of the idiot in front of you. 
“Stop calling me that,” he frowns and you can’t help the laugh that leaves your mouth. “My name is Roronoa Zoro–”
“Oh, sorry,” you interject and his eyebrows furrow at your lack of manners. “Am I just supposed to act like you’re my friend now? After you tried to kill my boss?” 
“I thought we were past that,” he states bluntly.
“That was four days ago.” 
“It’s enough time to move on.”
“You’re impossible.” You shake your head in disbelief, slightly puzzled at the giddy feeling in your chest when the faintest smile appears on his face. “What’s that?” You gesture to the rosewood box in his fingers. 
“Consider it an apology,” he says, holding out the box for you to take, “for bothering you the other night.” 
“How chivalrous.” You eye the box warily, still unsure about the enigmatic bounty hunter before you. “But we don’t need nor want your money.”
“It’s not money. Just open the damn box,” he grunts impatiently and you begrudgingly oblige, sliding back the top panel to reveal a bracelet. It wasn’t like any other bracelet you’d seen before, a gold chain garnished with a single deep green emerald barely the size of your pinky fingernail. It was delicate and elegant, subtle enough not to draw attention but luxurious enough to make you feel spoiled. “Do you like it?”
“I do, actually. The color is pretty,” you reply slowly, still slightly in shock. “Why green?”
“Take a wild guess.” He smirks again and your gaze flicks up to his hair. It was just as vibrant as the gemstone and he watched you carefully as the pieces clicked into place. With the bracelet, you’d be forced to think of him every time you looked at it or anything the color green. What kind of guy buys a momento for almost killing you, you had no idea.
“You didn’t need to bring me this. I thought the deal was–”
“I remember what the deal was, but I felt bad making you stand outside shivering while you explained how the counteragent functioned.” Your eyes widen slightly at his admission. He noticed you reacting to the wind, so how intensely was he watching you that night? If he sees your surprise, he doesn’t comment on it and continues to explain why he brought you the gift in the first place. “The powder worked, by the way. I snagged this from the captain’s chambers on my way out.” 
“You stole this because you saw me get cold?” He merely shrugs, clearly unbothered. 
“I mean, yeah. You looked miserable.”
“I was miserable.” He smiles slightly again, the corner of his mouth quirking in amusement. It makes your heart stutter against your wishes. “Does this mean we’re even now, pirate hunter?”
“Call me Zoro and maybe I’ll consider it.”
“You’ll consider it?” 
“Holding a sword to someone’s throat is a major transgression that can’t be forgiven so easily,” he taunts and you roll your eyes. “Let me start over, meet you properly without the involvement of weapons.”
“You really want to see me again?” He scoffs at your question as if the answer wasn't crystal clear.
“What, bringing you a bracelet wasn’t obvious enough? I’ll have to bring the entire ship next time. Might take a little longer to get back to you.”
“Get off my porch, Roronoa Zoro,” you laugh, reaching out to push his shoulder away and feeling every inch of his skin against your fingers in the brief moment your bodies touch. “Don’t come back unless you have something important to say.” 
“I think you’ll soon find out what I prioritize as important.”
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heartandfangs · 1 year
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HALOS, HORNS & EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.
GENRE Roommate AU, Smut, Hint of Romance
PAIRING Jongseong/Jay x Fem!Reader x Heeseung
WARNINGS 18+ ONLY MDNI, Threesome, Cursing, Jealousy, Breast worship (what’s new), Making out, Oral sex (f!receiving), Mention of food, Light biting, Daddy kink, Role play, Cum eating/swapping, Unresolved feelings, Dom!Jay, SoftDom!Heeseung, PowerSub!Reader, HeeJay are pervs
SUMMARY After several long months of ignoring the angel and devil living across the hall, said roommates take matters into their own hands to please you on your special day. 
WORD COUNT 4k
AUTHOR’S NOTE This one’s simple but kinda crazy?? ngl I REALLY got carried away with the wc for this first request, but I’m going to try and keep the others shorter so I can get through them quicker. Definitely felt less pressure while writing this for fun tho. Happy birthday 🪶 anon! I took some artistic liberties with your simple request lmao, but hope you and everyone enjoy it regardless (if it’s not ur cuppa tea dw!) 🖤🤍🖤🤍 
See end for cont. author’s note.
Masterlist
© 2021-2023, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.
After an incredibly rough week of work, you’d completely forgotten to switch off your alarm last night so you could sleep in for your birthday. It was your long-awaited day. 
“The fuck,” You groaned before tapping the screen of your phone to silence the obnoxious sound. 
Clambering and scurrying footsteps could be heard outside your bedroom and in the shared kitchen. A nagging feeling in your stomach told you that you wouldn’t be allowed back to sleep any time soon. 
After about a minute, you noticed the sound of your roommates gathering outside your door— then knuckles tentatively rapping against it.
You pulled your duvet over your head and curled up tighter onto your side, refusing to answer. 
Another knock.
It was more insistent this time, annoyingly so. 
“What?” Your grumpy tone made it known that they were unwelcome visitors this early in the morning. 
Please go away…
Jay, seemingly unbothered by your attitude, cracked open the door, surveying your condition before swinging it wide open to reveal a birthday cake in his hand. 
Heeseung didn’t look any better than you in his black sweatsuit set and cowlicked ash-gray hair hiding his half-lidded eyes. Jay more than likely dragged him out of bed to help him prepare your surprise, yet he still gave you a smirk behind Jay’s shoulder and flashed you a peace sign. 
With a mischievous smile, Jay strode to the edge of your bed wearing a typical pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank, his lean arms on display. “Morning, birthday girl.” 
Heeseung made his way in and released a handful of red and pink balloons that floated to the ceiling; you’d think it was Valentine's Day or something. “Happy birthday, ___.”
Slowly, you dragged yourself up to sitting, keeping your blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You rubbed your eyes, “I can’t believe I sabotaged myself with my alarm today.”
“Happens to the best of us,” Jay balanced the cake in one hand as he kneeled on the floor by your bed and ran a hand through his pale blonde hair, “And well, now you just have more of your day to enjoy. But first, cake.”
Of course, they knew better than to sing. You sighed and stared down at the simple, pink-frosted cake piped with red dollops in a heart-shaped border. 
In the center was written in red frosting:
u can’t pick ur dad
but u can pick ur daddy(s)
hbd!!!
You snorted and pressed a hand to your lips, raising an eyebrow at the two. Grammatically, it didn’t even make any sense, but you guessed it wasn’t supposed to. 
“What the hell is this? Which of you—” You barely managed to get out, shoulders shaking from laughter as you eyed Heeseung and gave Jay a look of scrutiny, “Or should I even bother to ask?”
In return, Jay playfully swiped the pads of his fingers across the corner of your lips, effectively smearing a bit of pink cream onto your skin. 
“Hey—“ Despite flinching, your tongue automatically darted out to sample the rich semi-sweet frosting, eyes widening in approval, “Mm!”
Jay chuckled and licked the remaining frosting off of his thick fingers, watching as you quickly averted his gaze, “I baked and decorated it. Obviously. But this guy stalked your Pinterest boards and saw something similar. So that’s how we got the idea, I guess.”
“Stalked? I just follow her,” Heeseung insisted, twirling the pink ribbon from a balloon around his finger. The two of them glanced at each other, and despite being touched by the sentiment, you paused.
While you had some pretty questionable content saved to the boards on your account, you definitely couldn’t have known Heeseung bothered to keep an eye on them.
What else did they see?
“Oh— how thoughtful of you,” You glanced over at the culprit, who suddenly found your carpet fascinating.
Jay cleared his throat and gestured the candle-lit cake towards you, its dancing flames taunting you, “Well, make your wish before the candle wax melts all over it, ___. Anything you want?”
“Hm,” You casually stretched your arms and shrugged off your blanket to reveal your gym shorts riding up your thighs as you crossed your ankles, “So if I wished for you both to leave me alone right now, you’d grant my wish?”
Heeseung untangled his finger from the balloon ribbon, blinking in surprise just as Jay’s shoulders slumped slightly, a flicker of hurt unexpectedly crossing his features. The blond pressed his lips together and stood to his feet. 
“Well, if that’s what you want. We’ll leave you be.”
“Jay…”
He nearly bumped into Heeseung on his way out but stopped at the sound of your sultry voice. 
Heeseung seemed enraptured as you gnawed at your lips and ushered Jay back with a simple look and tilt of your chin. The younger man’s gaze settled on the stretch of your thin cotton shirt over your breasts, and you felt yourself flush.
“I’m fucking with you both. Bring my pretty cake back.”
Both of them seemed to perk up as though they misheard you before trying to cover up how your choice words affected them.  
Jay huffed at your smug grin, “Go on then, blow it out, princess.”
With a roll of your eyes, you leaned forward and blew out the candles lined along the top of the rosy pink cake, leaving a trail of smoke in the air. 
“There, I made my wish. Thank you, boys.”
The last word seemed to grate on Jay’s nerves, with the way he haphazardly slid your cake onto your desk. 
“Hey, be careful. Why wouldn’t you handle your hard work with care? I’m gonna eat that later,” You quipped. 
“What was your wish?” Jay dared to ask, crossing his arms as he leaned back onto your desk. 
That earned him a weird look from you. 
“You can’t just ask her that,” Heeseung nudged Jay in his side and took the opportunity to sit next to you, the mattress dipping under his weight. Heeseung was a bit intimidating in size, but his proximity didn’t make you uncomfortable in the slightest— or so you liked to tell yourself. “We’re not done with your gifts yet.”
You faced him and leaned back on your hand, placing the other atop your thighs, skin suddenly prickling with goosebumps. “No?”
Heeseung couldn’t help the subtle smile playing at his lips due to the unnecessary but predictable tension between you and Jay, “We know the extra attention isn’t your favorite, but just for today, don’t fight it.”
“What do you mean? Don’t fight what exactly…?” You continued to feign confusion, feeling your heart thump erratically as Heeseung tucked your messy hair behind your ears and dragged his soft caress along your warm cheeks.
You felt a sense of adoration in his touch, those languid eyes of his melting into your own so you wouldn’t have doubts about what was to follow. 
“This,” The manner in which Heeseung moved against you was gentle but confident, his moist lips capturing yours as though he didn’t want a second with you to go to waste but still knew he could take his time with you. 
How could you fight such a sweet kiss?
Not long after, Heeseung began to playfully prod his tongue along your inner cheek before swirling it against yours, slowly dropping his palms down your delicate neck, then even lower, until he found your soft breasts. The squeeze of his warm hands around them sent a jolt through your body and tightened the knot in your belly; you couldn’t help but arch your back to press closer to him with an airy moan.
It took a second before you realized the gravity of what you were doing with your shyest roommate and steadied yourself against his chest. “Heeseung—”
Then you felt a rougher set of fingers hook underneath your jaw and steal you away from Heeseung’s kisses. 
Jay stood over you and held you in place, pressing a frosting-dipped thumb past your lips, the flavor awakening your tastebuds once more. 
“Suck,” Jay commanded under his breath, which was somehow more intimidating than if he were to shout it. As he pushed the pad of his thumb down onto your wet muscle, you obediently closed your lips around the knuckle of his finger and met his keen eyes.
He nodded approvingly, “That’s a good girl.”
It was common for the two of you to always give each other a hard time, but if he ever overstepped his boundaries, he always made up for it through an unexpected warm gesture or a home-cooked meal the next day once things had simmered down. He wasn’t as much of a hardass as he let on.
At first, Heeseung appeared to be the most laid-back and benevolent of you three, but you always figured he was more of a maverick than one might initially guess. It wasn’t until he started playing clever pranks on you after a couple of months of getting to know him that you realized you’d finally cracked through that bashful exterior of his.
Although the three of you shared an undeniable chemistry that allowed you to live together as roommates without entirely wanting to rip each other’s throats out, neither of them had ever made a move on you before— and you couldn’t have ever guessed they’d make a move on you together.
Were there signals over the months that you’d missed? Looking back, yes, that might’ve been the case— but you’d chosen to ignore them due to an inability to make up your mind. Perhaps that’s why things were getting out of hand; you’d driven the two of them up the wall, and they had no choice but to retaliate.
All you could do right now is try to make it through whatever they had in store for you… and somehow, you didn’t mind that. 
“Hate it?” Jay asked.
Judging by your heavy eyelids and the sweet hum of your voice vibrating against his digit, he had an idea that it was quite the contrary.
“Figured,” Jay removed his thumb from your mouth with a pop and leaned over to pull you against his lips for a crushing kiss of his own.
He was all heat and didn’t hesitate to tug your lips between his teeth or shove his tongue against yours until you were red in the face, gasping for air and more of him simultaneously. 
“Mmh— Jay!”
He gave you a haughty look and continued to make a mess out of you, ruthlessly nipping at your ear and down your neck, knowing that you enjoyed the roughness of his affection. It almost killed you when he slowed down a bit, eyes flickering open to stare at you with his forehead pressed to yours, breathing the same air as you.
Right then, you felt Heeseung mouth over the fabric of your shirt, gradually coaxing your nipple to hardness. With the moan you rewarded him with, he grew bold and pulled the fabric over your breasts to take the one closest into his mouth, suckling sweetly around it.
You swore your nipples had a direct connection to your clit because it pulsed against your tight shorts and made you sink your fingers into tufts of Heeseung’s dark grey hair with a whimper.
Of course, Heeseung would be the one to make you give in.  
After seeing your lovely reactions to his other roommate’s ministrations, Jay promptly kneeled on the bed and caught your other nipple with his soft lips. You cried out as he released it with a smack, only to continuously flick at the tip with his tongue, sending you into oblivion. 
The two boys worked in tandem to pleasure you, tugging at your delicate nipples and laying kisses on your burning skin, the delicious sounds of their mouths worshiping your body falling on your ears. How they had their own ways of going about it made you feel even more cherished by the two. This was the kind of gift that kept on giving. 
“Oh my god, that feels so good,” Panting, you tipped your head back and squeezed your eyes shut, letting the pleasure wash over your body at being tended to with such enthusiasm. Your panties were growing wetter by the second. 
“I told you she’d lose it once we started milking her tits,” Heeseung commented, reaching up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, “Like the feeling of getting milked that much, baby?”
The way Heeseung addressed you made your stomach do flips. 
“Mmn, yes… You guys are fucking— ah— crazy,” You whined helplessly.
“We’re not the ones posting kinky shit to our public socials,” Jay deflected with a hoarse laugh, remembering something in particular he saw on yours that he liked.
He continued to suck and knead at your breast with the intent to make you swell under his touch, and by the time you were begging for release, he wanted you to be soaked through your little shorts.
With a bit of tooth and control, Jay gradually sucked around your areola until you let out a delighted yelp, in which he quelled your pain with laps of his tongue. He was extremely cognizant of how your hips twitched, inviting him to touch you further.
“Hngh— please, it’s not like I planted a seed in your minds. You were both perverts to start with,” You shot back despite feeling stranded in the fog of bliss, “Jacking off in the shower with my soap…”
Jay, in particular, froze at your accusation.
“I’ve used that brand my whole life and noticed each bottle went quicker ever since I moved in with you two. And then jacking off in my bed when I’m not home—”
You punctuated your slight annoyance by curling your fingers around Heeseung’s cheeks. That irked you a bit more than Jay’s shower antics for hygienic reasons.
“I can smell your shampoo all over my pillow, you know. Can you at least change my sheets out of courtesy once you’re done? Bet you wanted me to figure it out, didn’t you?”
The entirety of Heeseung’s skin above his collar turned a deep shade of scarlet, his large eyes shining from embarrassment. “Shit, uh. I-I…I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even do your laundry for a month.”
“What, so you can steal another pair of my panties?”
Heeseung couldn’t hide his startled expression. A few seconds passed before a smirk made its way onto his flushed face, and he wet his lips. “‘Course not …”
Jay cocked a brow at Heeseung having been exposed to the degree that he was. Really, the two of them should’ve known better. Although the blond wasn’t sure if there were more things Heeseung’s done that you hadn’t caught onto yet, he knew that to be so in his case.
“I knew it all along,” You sat up straighter and stroked Jay and Heeseung beneath their chin, spreading your legs to reveal how your arousal had seeped through your layer of panties staining the fabric of your bottoms a darker, enticing shade.
With greedy looks in their eyes, both boys set their sights on the evidence of your excitement, saliva collecting under their tongues. 
“So, how are you both really gonna make up for such shameless, deranged behavior?”
Heeseung felt his cock twitch heavily in his sweatpants at your challenge, knowing it was all your fault. 
“We were just getting to that part,” Jay appealed, caressing his hand along your inner thigh, dipping closer and closer to your warmth, “___, trust me, you’ll forget all about our fuck-ups in a few minutes.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” You directed Heeseung to continue stimulating your tits by dragging his chin forward as you leaned back onto your elbows. 
He peeked over his shoulder at Jay, who positioned himself between your legs, and it was evident by the dark glint in his eyes that he wanted to taste you as well. However, you judged his sinful shenanigans to be greater than Jay’s and instead jerked his head towards your chest, your free hand gripping your breast.
“C’mon, Daddy, make my wish come true. Milk my tits and pussy, I want it so badly...”
That was a first. Your words seemed to reset the two back in order; Heeseung’s breath caught in his chest, but Jay fell back into the flow of things quicker. 
“Shit, baby. We’ll give it to you.”
You squirmed as Jay ran his hot tongue over the seam tucked between your swollen mound, his fingers tugging at your waistband to strip you bare.
Heeseung held your hazy gaze as he yanked off his top, tossing it onto the floor before diving back into devouring your breasts. With each messy kiss placed on your chest, your entire body shuddered, and Heeseung found himself groaning against your skin from how amazing it felt to finally gratify his urges for you. 
It was so satisfying to make you moan nonsensical things while feeling your nails scrape along his nape and upper back. 
Once Jay freed you from your shorts, all that was left was your drenched panties, which he took an even more passionate lap at, shoving his tongue against the dip of your entrance through the fabric but all too conveniently avoiding where you needed him most. 
“Mm, Daddy… please,” You whispered with a gulp, spreading your legs even wider to lure him in, “Please make me come on your tongue.”
Jay’s eyes softened; in return, he pressed a kiss to the flesh of your trembling thigh and began to remove the last barrier of clothing that kept him from your warm, wet pussy. “Alright, baby. I’m gonna help you come so much, okay?”
“Mhmm…” You nodded.
Ah, it was so different to see him like this. He’d always spoiled you one way or another, hadn’t he?
If only you noticed how his cock was straining in his pants at seeing you spread so prettily for him while thoroughly enjoying getting your tits sucked. 
“I haven’t seen a pussy prettier than this,” Jay commented, catching his roommate’s attention.
For a second, you were given a chance to breathe and merely collapsed onto the sheets, staring up at the balloon-covered ceiling as Heeseung leaned over your body to enjoy the sight of your arousal dripping down your folds. 
“Fuck, it’s so wet,” Heeseung murmured, his eyes drinking up the erotic view of you from above as he spread your lips apart with his middle and index fingers. “Look at that drooly little hole. It’s clenching so tightly…”
Jay chuckled, and you could only whimper, feeling Heeseung’s breath ghost over your pussy. Hearing them talk about you so casually caused your face to overheat; you wondered if they ever discussed you behind your back like this. 
“Think this pink little clit would like it if we suck on it?”
Before Jay could respond, Heeseung pressed forward and swiped his tongue across your swollen clit, fit his lips around the nub, and then sucked. 
“Heeseung!” You jerked against his face and reached back to grip your duvet, feeling more wetness drip onto your sheets. 
Heeseung had the nerve to snicker in front of Jay’s face before pressing himself back up at the sound of your needy voice.
Jay’s jaw clenched, but he hadn’t made a move to stop the other male since it wasn’t against their agreement. All he could do was sink his grip into your mattress, pissed that Heeseung had just stolen the first taste of you from him.
Well, he did practically invite him over to gloat before feasting on you. He just didn’t anticipate that it’d backfire; should’ve thought twice about that. 
Little did you know it’d work in your favor. 
“Mm, knew you’d taste like candy,” Heeseung hummed, clearly trying to hold back a smile. He tipped your chin up, his voice low and tender, “Give Daddy a kiss, I want you to taste yourself.”
You were tentative in doing so but eventually got lost in the sensation of sharing the taste of your arousal with Heeseung. It made your lips tingle, toes curling against Jay’s shoulders. 
“Ah…”
Every inch of your skin became a magnet for Heeseung’s lips as he kept himself busy, rubbing at your tits, fully aware of the havoc he’d wreaked with Jay. He supposed that’s one thing he shared in common with you— getting on Jay’s nerves when he felt like it. 
Oh, were you feeling absolutely dizzy now, and even more so when a plush pair of lips you’d been missing began to make out with your pussy. 
You exhaled harshly and glimpsed down your body at the blond tending to your aching mound. All that softness previously on display was gone; Jay’s never looked more starved than he did now, grip fierce on your thighs whilst plunging his tongue into your pussy.    
“Oh fuck, Jay—!“
He wasn’t messing around. With each heavy drag of his hot tongue on your clit, your muscles seized, breath growing shorter and shorter, your body on the brink of an orgasm. 
Heeseung latched onto your tit and rolled your other nipple under his fingers, watching your desperate expression from beneath his lashes. 
With the incredible sensations you were experiencing all over the pleasure points of your body, you were done for. 
Jay reveled in the fact that you couldn’t keep your plush thighs from squeezing tightly around his head. He was just as attentive to your responses as Heeseung, his kisses to your clit pushing you over the edge as your eyes fluttered shut. 
Shocks of pleasure traveled up your core, causing spasms throughout your entire body. The boys couldn’t get enough of your precious moans echoing off your bedroom walls, and Jay seemed to be enjoying your high as much as you were. You felt his moans rumble against your skin— had a feeling he was savoring every drop of you.  
Heeseung fondly ran his fingers through strands of your hair strewn across the sheets while your limbs were awash with ecstasy. Despite your twitching, you felt Jay continue to dip between your thighs and gather your creamy release on his tongue. Shortly after, he crept over your body and reached for your jaw, his eyes trained on yours as you felt his cock scorch against your abdomen.
“Open,” He urged, and not a second later, you were mindlessly offering him your tongue. 
Your cream dribbled from the tip of his tongue onto yours, like honey— and just before the strand could break, he sealed his lips over yours, stroking deeply and slowly into your mouth like he wanted you to blackout in his arms from lack of oxygen.
Oh god…
After all that, you managed to let out a breathless chuckle and offer Jay a bashful smile which he returned.
“So, did we somewhat make up for our shameless, deranged behavior?” He asked. 
Well. You supposed you could say you weren’t nearly as put off by the secret perversions that took place over the past several months as you were 30 minutes ago.
You swallowed thickly, adrenaline still coursing through your veins as you pressed your sticky thighs together. “Yeah… a bit.”
“Just ‘a bit’ she says. Good thing we have more gifts,” Heeseung exchanged a look of amusement with Jay and kneeled by your side.
He began to stroke himself over the jet black sweatpants hanging low on his hips, brazenly shooting you a heated look as he did.
Without thinking, you reached out to touch him, and his large hand immediately covered yours, guiding you to squeeze along his thick cock and feel him up as you pleased. You just couldn’t get your hands on enough of him— either of them.
Heeseung clicked his tongue.
“Wanna open mine?”
A/N CONT.
Yay, I can finally add something to Jay’s repertoire! It was fun to see what naturally came out on the page for him in this fic, he ended up being Very Daddy. 😵‍💫 I actually started a femdom sub!Jay fic months ago but never got around to finishing it so I’m glad some other anons requested more of him lmao
I wasn’t sure if I’d like writing a threesome fic, but I thought I’d try it out– I didn’t hate it. A threesome tit sucking scene had been a long time comin 🤭 ANYWAYS Hee was a nice contrast to Jay in this as I’m still high off of him in NIIY. 🥰 This is also my first time writing in some aspects of a Daddy kink, but I’m still exploring it. Let me know if you enjoyed that aspect bc I know I usually tend towards more switch dynamics in my fics?
I was about to write a part 2, but I gotta get the other requests done! Also random but not, I feel like perv Hee is just a running joke in this fandom on here, so I’m just keeping the legend alive (again), he’s the official panty thief ™
As always, reblog, like or follow me if you enjoyed and check out my masterlist for more fics ⚰️🖤 It’s appreciated!
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kamiversee · 2 months
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The F*ck List (semi-official) Breakdown.
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The following was submitted by my lovely ☃️anon, & I needed to make this it’s own post given how long it is, my replies & clarifications are written in between this breakdown & theory (Ex: A/N > Etc.). 
Here, you’ll find majority of details you may have missed & maybe even more to think about. Enjoy :)
(wc; 5.7k) (content; spoilers ofc)
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holy shit Kami. i literally had to take the entire day to process everything. before anything else, i need you to know that you've created an absolute masterpiece. TFL was the first fic i ever cared to keep up with and it has set the bar impossibly high for any other writer out there. please take your time with TFL 2, i'm so excited to read your other work!! also a break sounds like it would be so good for your mind considering how long you've dedicated yourself to this story 😭😭😭 you're seriously impressive. heads up, i didn't proofread this at all bc i finished typing this at 4 am LMFAO so forgive me if it's all scrambled and makes no sense.
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A/N > Thank you for taking the time to write this breakdown, I seriously appreciate it so I wanted to take my time in responding to it & engaging with you :)
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now, on to the yap. i deadass cracked my knuckles before typing all this out.
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A/N > You’re so real for tht ngl
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i reread the entirety of TFL from chapter 1 and my brain is so melted from analyzing that i'll prob find more details tomorrow after i sleep on some theories 😭 BUT HOLY FUCK YOU REALLY WEREN'T KIDDING WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HINTING AT GOJO'S OBSESSION SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST CHAPTER??? the fucking hint being that "Gojo's desire for you is so strong it's almost frightening." GIRLLLLLL 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵
your foreshadowing and referencing is insane. idk if you intended a lot of it, but a lot of it caught my eye.
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A/N> I TOLD YOU GUYS IVE BEEN DOIN IT SINCE THE FIRST CHAPTER !! Okay not exactly but like there was a vibe I had from the first chapter & when I later came up with the twist & went back and saw that everything would connect perfectly ^.^
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chapter 7; the reader and Gojo have lighthearted banter about how the reader "started this" situation.
"I made a mistake." [reader] 
"A good one." 
"Bad one." You correct.
this was regarding a completely different situation but it baffled me how much it connects to the plot itself; the reader making the "mistake" of leaving her door open, and how it lead to months full of trauma and love. probably completely unintentional, but such a good detail.
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A/N > Very intentional btw, it’s supposed to be known that, in a sense, Gojo x reader is forbidden :)
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Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?" 
The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes. - Chapter 16
THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT CHOSO WOULD STICK BY US REGARDLESSSSSSSS AAAAAA WE'RE SO BLIND!!! i just hope this stays true to the sequel :')
"No, I wish you didn't have to hate me." He says, shutting his eyes again and sucking in a deep breath, "B-But... it's uh, It's okay. I can live with you hating me." - Chapter 21
AAAA WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!! WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS FORESHADOWING OUR FUTURE WITHOUT GOJO 😭😭😭 how he can live with the idea of the reader hating him so long as she's happy with Choso, especially considering his later revelations of how twisted his actions were and how if you stuck with him, he'd view you differently. fuck.
You despise the fact that he loves you. To you, it's almost entitled for him to feel like he has that right. How dare he hold such a strong emotion for you? If he felt this way, why is he forcing you to sleep with people for him? It makes no sense. 
Why would someone claim to love you and put you through so much? 
If he's been in love with you all this time, why start the list in the first place? Why couldn't he have just tried to win your heart from the beginning? Why the list? Why the blackmail? You don't understand him. - Chapter 23
i'm crushed. we didn't understand because we didn't know that Sukuna was involved. that could mean a million other things. i have some far-fetched theories about this but hear me out later!!!
the entirety of chapter 23 had me fucking floored while i was rereading. THE FORESHADOWING WAS EVERYWHERE!!! EVERY FUCKING WHERE
"No sweetheart, Sukuna's an asshole but..." His expression flickers and his smile fades away. He swallows and then clears his throat, "I'm pretty sure he'll satisfy you just fine." 
...
You narrow your eyes at him, "Are you sure?" 
...
 "Fuckin' positive," Gojo suddenly sounds pissed and you grow concerned. The arm around you gets a little tighter while he walks you through some crowds and you keep looking at the man confused. 
There's a vein popping out along his jawline because of how hard he's gritting his teeth.
of course he's aggravated because he knows that Sukuna is the one behind the list in the first place 😭😭😭 I'M SORRY WE DOUBTED YOU SATORU, FUCKKKK
——FIFTEEN MINUTES. That was the exact amount of time it took you to seduce Sukuna. The act was way too easy. Actually, it was suspiciously easy.
BECAUSE HE FUCKING KNEW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
"What all did you plan on doing tonight aside from getting harassed by strangers?" Sukuna suddenly questions against your skin. 
You ignore how close he is and the way his lips make you tense, turning your head to face forward. Chuckling at his last comment, "Same thing as everyone else here." You reply, slightly confused by his question. 
"Bullshit," He utters, "Nobody dresses like this without the intent of gaining my attention," Sukuna claims while his hands slide back down along your body.
this 100% could be just him being cocky and Sukuna, but the recent reveal just makes this feel like an extra demeaning interaction. but of course, it's Sukuna.
chapter 24 is so fucking shady too with everything we know. i know you addressed some of these points already bc i brought them up in previous anon messages, but these things still had me paranoid;
the way Sukuna leaves us and tells the reader to go to his room after a certain amount of time (i know he could have just been tidying up real quick but everything about this man has me on edge)
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A/N> A lot of people are on edge about this but I’ll be honest, there’s nothing crazy that happens in between this time period. Not saying nothing happens but nothing crazy— it’ll be addressed later (in the next fic most likely)
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the way he's been consistently on the phone since the reader entered the room, which is shortly after she messaged Gojo saying that she'll be able to cross Sukuna off of this list by tonight which he wasn't happy with at all.
no seriously, he kept diverting his attention to something in the bathroom and then came out, still on his phone. maybe he's talking to literally anyone else but STILL I'M PARANOID
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A/N> This is to show the fact that Sukuna is a very socially active individual, & hints to the theory (I think you later state) that he has connections.
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this happens in chapter 25 but the way he keeps smiling while the reader kisses him is just so smug of him especially considering the original reason as to why the reader's even interacting with him
then the spicy chapters with Sukuna…
the foreshadowing that the lack of knowledge of Sukuna's reputation will come back to bite her in the ass; first with the knowledge that he is abusive, and then her finding out that he is the curator of the list, knowing the full details of her blackmail and even threatening her again.
WHO DID HE FUCKING FIGHT HELPPPPP MY MIND IS BOGGLING there's no way it's Gojo, right? they're both too unscathed in these next few chapters for there to have been a fight between the two of them.
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A/N > It’s not Gojo. 🙏
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THE FUCKING MOMENT WHERE HE CONTEMPLATED SOMETHING WITH THE PHONE IN HIS HAND??? I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING CALLED IT WAS SOMETHING SHADY AS HELL.
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A/N> The other Sukuna hint I was talking about is right before this moment btw, you’re welcome ;)
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then he has the audacity to hold his tongue right afterwards?? it's such a big hint towards the fact that he knew about the list from the beginning UGHHHHHHHH.
the way he tried to humor the reader about her "job" even though he was in on the whole thing. UGH. SUKUNA WHEN I GET YOU SUKUNA?? 👊👊👊👊 especially with that "whore" joke right afterwards. i can't stand him. i know that it's implied that he has a twisted view on women from having abusive women in his life (his mom and his ex who he punched) BUT STILL. he's so lucky he's fictional and hot.
the fact that we're able to pick up on the fact that it's a "crazy coincidence" that he continues the whore jokes UGHHHHH HE HAS BEEN PLAYING US FROM THE STAAAAAARTT
Gojo got upset at something from Sukuna's party, he didn't want you to call yourself a whore all of a sudden, Sukuna seems to have believed that was your actual job, and you remember how pissed Gojo seemed as he thought about you sleeping with Sukuna- 
Holy fuck. Are the two connected somehow? Is something going on? What does Gojo owe Sukuna? Does Sukuna know you only slept with him as payment to clear Gojo's debt? Is-
GIRL YOU WERE ALMOST THERE!!!! YOU ALMOST HAD IT!!!
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A/N > I love teasing in my narration by nearly spoiling things 😹
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seriously though, these chapters killed me. the official end obliterated my heart. it's so fucking bittersweet i want to scream at the top of a high building. the reader ends up happy and with someone she loves, which is fantastic for her. she deserves that after everything she went through. Choso treats her so, so well.
but Gojo. with the theories i have, i feel horrible. i was so harsh towards him as a die hard Choso girly but these endings changed me. i just hope i'm right.
the fact that his healing journey is harsher than ours makes this ending sting so much. he's healed, and you can see it with his demeanor from the call and the way he interacted with the reader.
we were always made aware of the way he looked at us such deep attachment. the initial gleam shows that he's happy to see us, but that he's not reliant on us for his happiness anymore. he's finding that on his own, and it's a grueling process for him. i wished the reader gave him a hug, but that would probably make me feel even worse.
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A/N> He gave her a lil side hug (with his arm over her shoulder) & was resting his head on hers at the end if that makes you feel any better 😅
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"Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start." i'm gonna throw up bro i'm so sad. i'm proud of his growth. his obsession was so, so strong but he always prioritized the reader's happiness over himself. i know that being self-sacrificial is so core to his personality but it doesn't make it suck any less. i'm devastated. i started blasting mitski in the car on my way to work after reading this.
i thought i was ready for the journal burning. i was so ready for this tie to be severed, for them to finally move on. but i failed to realize that it could ultimately mean a life without each other. it makes sense as to why, but it still sucks.
kami i need that poly ending before i cry my eyes out at 4 am rn. you know i can't handle angst, but bittersweet endings lowkey hurt me even more. i need all my babies to be happy. i desperately need it.
but that alt ending... fuck. in a horrible, sick, and twisted way, i'm relieved. i'm a Choso girly from the bottom of my heart but i can't let this Gojo go omfg. even if he shows up for one more chapter, i think i'll be alright. BUT IT BETTER NOT BE FOR DEATH KAMI!!!! I HAVE A FEW EXCERPTS THAT SUGGEST DEATH FLAGS BUT I AM SIMPLY NOT LOOKING AT THEM. DON'T DO THIS TO ME KAMIIIIIII. i need this boy to be frolicking in a field of flowers or something. my heart can't take this.
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A/N> I know I reference death a lot but that’s just to add a sense of how dramatic the characters are 🫶
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okay, time for my mind-fucky theory. pls bare with me. if it wasn't obvious by my last post, i'm 100% on board with the theory that Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo, which started this whole thing. but the thing that is getting me is how this all connects. i have some assumptions that could make sense, but there are a handful of gaps. here's my thought process;
Sukuna's blackmailing Gojo by using his obsession/love against him.
we are already familiar with the fact that Gojo has liked the reader for years. there was a chapter where Gojo mentioned that it started off as a "crush" but he was so oblivious to his own obsession up until the reader mentioned it to him. it's to the point that he didn't understand what was wrong with the idea of hurting people for the reader. who's to say that Sukuna didn't catch him in some sort of heinous act regarding the reader like stalking?
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A/N > You’re cooking with this one and I almost, almost had to go get the fire extinguisher :D
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Gojo didn't understand the difference between love and obsession until later on in the story. this would be consistent with the implication that Gojo just loved her so deeply that his morals were askew as we have yet to find out how far his love goes.
what if Sukuna caught him in the act of doing god knows what, and brought up the fact that if the reader found out about this, that she'd get super freaked out and would do everything she can to get away from him (considering probably barely knew each other, if at all, at this point). but why would Sukuna devise such a plan over a money bribe? well, Sukuna's already revealed to be wealthy, and maybe he was bored. the same line that Gojo kept repeating to the reader whenever she questioned him as to why he did it. what if Gojo asked Sukuna why he's blackmailing him, and he said the exact same thing; "I was bored." we see how much Sukuna mirrors Gojo's speech by calling the reader "sweetheart" often, what if Gojo did the same thing? 
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A/N > Gojo & Sukuna do have a few parallels in this story & they will be addressed more in the sequel.
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we wondered in chapter 23 how Gojo reaches out to these men to ensure their debt is "paid," but considering how oblivious everyone else on the list is to Gojo owing them anything, it would make sense that he only reports to Sukuna as he is ordered to do so. but two things stumped me on this theory overall.
the reader said that she used to party a lot and get involved with boys before Gojo. if he was stalking her for so long, why did he wait so long to approach her?
what specifically would be the blackmail that Sukuna has on Gojo?
regarding the first point, it's been mentioned that Gojo has been "scared of women" and was shy when it came to approaching the reader. he knew of her for so long, but was able to constantly slip under her radar. considering how much of a pervert he is, it wouldn't have been surprising for him to sneak around and watch in on the reader hooking up with other guys. after all, these guys were probably complete strangers to him and all he cared about was you. remember how Gojo was basically able to tune out his own best friend, Suguru, when the reader was hooking up with him in their living room? it wouldn't be wild to assume that he was able to do the same for your other hookups as he spied on you.
to connect this with second point, what if Sukuna caught Gojo being a peeping tom on the reader during a party hook-up? while being so distracted in the act of spying, Sukuna spots him. the reader wouldn't be alright with the fact that someone who's barely an acquaintance (if that, depending on the time this occurred) to her has been perving around and watching her have sex without her consent. she would do anything to get away from Gojo, and of course that would crush him. Gojo tried to buy Sukuna's silence by any means necessary. so, Sukuna generated a list of people that he and Gojo mutually knew for the reader to fuck. the reasoning for it would be the fact that Gojo has to sit through the process of having the girl he likes fuck a bunch of guys besides him, and the fact that Gojo knew all these men would make it sting more. plus, he has a reputation for hookups. (chapter 8)
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A/N > You’re like RIGHT there with it and yet not there at the same time omg 😟
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but why would Gojo agree to this deal with Sukuna, and why would he also go with the method of blackmailing the reader? it's basically a guarantee that the reader would be scared away regardless. but again, we could recall that Shoko mentioned that he was too "scared of women" to approach the reader at first. this was his chance to finally approach her. plus, "once that video is gone, there is no excuse he'll have to be around you." (chapter 8)
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but the more i thought of this reasoning for the two points, the more bizarre it felt. so what if instead of Gojo being a peeping tom, it was Sukuna. we get so many hints that Sukuna has eyes and intel everywhere. we get an indirect implication of this when he called us out for rolling our eyes during our phone call with him. yes, it could be completely by chance, but it's still a great hint that he "sees everything" and "knows everything." we get an even bigger hint towards this in the alt ending when he directly references The F*ck List.
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A/N > Others have taken note of how Sukuna knew she rolled her eyes but trust me, that’s just to show that Sukuna knows the reader’s body language more than he’s let on & paid attention to her a lot during the time they were together. 
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it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that he has some shady videos taken of people without his consent, some possibly acquired through other people (like how Gojo was revealed to have sent Sukuna the video of the reader from the first chapter). what if Gojo caught Sukuna with the video, threatened him to delete it, and Sukuna counterthreatened to have it be sent and posted everywhere. it would be highly ironic, but consistent with the way that Gojo and Sukuna practically mirror each other at times. the reasoning for the list choices would still be the same for this theory, too.
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my citations for these theories ☝️🤓
“You once asked me if I love you because I blackmailed you or if I blackmailed you because I love you and my answer is both,” Gojo confesses as he turns to meet your gaze, “Through my blackmailing, I fell for you but I also did it because I loved you from the start.” - Chapter 56
loved you from the start; his obsession has been consistent from the start (supports Gojo being a peeping tom theory) or he has always had a deep concern for you (supports him wanting to stop Sukuna from spreading blackmail of you instead).
“I’ve sacrificed everything for you, y’know.” 
“How? What’s everything that you’ve sacrificed, hm?” 
“You. I sacrificed the woman I love to make her happy.” Gojo admits, and of all he’s said thus far, that feels like the truest statement. 
“I could’ve been happy with you.” You remind him. 
He laughs, “Yeah well, I’m an idiot.” 
You scoff, “That’s all you have to say?” 
“Yup.” - Chapter 56
is he an idiot for being a peeping pervert instead of just approaching you normally? maybe. how does this make her happy? she ends up finding love through Choso, through the list, through the blackmail.
But deleting the video means ... he has no more leverage over you and can't force you to help him with the hole he's dug for himself. -  Chapter 8
the hole being the blackmail set against him by Sukuna.
Gojo's behind you cursing at himself for being unable to tell you the truth. 
He's so scared that you'll never help him without the blackmail and, well, he has every right to be because you're pretty sure that if it weren't for those videos he has over your head, you wouldn't be doing any of this. - Chapter 9
the videos he's referencing is the original video from chapter 1 and the fake video he lied about with Suguru, but he can't tell the reader the truth because it's too twisted and risky (supports Gojo peeping tom theory).
He silences himself in thought. There are so many ways he could go about answering such a question but the possibilities of how you may react are endless. Plus, you're drunk and if he's going to admit or explain anything to you, it'll be while you're sober. 
"Because..." Gojo's voice gets so quiet that you almost don't catch what he says, "...I don't have any other choice." - Chapter 21
if he didn't go through with his list, Sukuna would have went through with Gojo's blackmail, thus resulting in either you getting as far away from Gojo as soon as possible or Sukuna's video being sent around.
He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..." 
Your brows furrow at that. 
Are you missing something here? - Chapter 22
YES GIRL!!!! SUKUNA'S BEHIND THE WHOLE LIST, HE'S BEHIND THE BLACKMAIL GIRLYPOP
"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you." - Chapter 29
"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." 
You follow his motions and then end up right back in his arms, "Right..." 
"I'd sacrifice the very thing I love just to see you happy." Gojo claims proudly. 
You scoff, "Thought' I was the thing you loved?" 
"You are." 
His words bewilder you, "Then that makes no sense." 
"It won't." Gojo shrugs. - Chapter 29
🧍‍♀️
anything. even if it means putting your body, heart, mind, and career on the line. directly supports the theory that Sukuna initially had blackmail on the reader.
"We're the same, y'know..." He suddenly says, his voice breaking again, "We both want someone so terribly bad but our situations prohibit us from getting that person." 
"You could've prevented all this though..." 
Gojo sniffles and you feel a drop of wetness slide down his cheek and slip against your palm. The man was crying? Why? - Chapter 30
this whole time we've been told that Gojo and the reader share more similarities than the reader realizes. what Gojo is to the reader, the reader is to Choso. while Choso now knows of the men that the reader slept with, he doesn't know why. he doesn't know about you being blackmailed. you know that you had to sleep with these men. you don't know why. you didn't know it was because of Gojo being blackmailed.
"For loving me, Satoru. It's not a crime," You say, mocking a comment he made to you earlier, "You're allowed to love me. So, for that, and that only, I forgive you." 
Those words healed so many more wounds in his heart than you realized. It was like that was all he ever needed to hear. If Gojo's mistake was loving you and that's what caused this, then you forgive him. 
If in some twisted way, his feelings started the list, you forgive him.
COME ON NOW.
There’s so much going unspoken but the two of you knew what either was saying, you understood each other more than either of you realized. - Chapter 35
“Well,” Gojo sighs heavily and then draws your hands off his face, leaning down to you a bit, “Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made in exchange for one’s happiness.” 
“Are you telling me that all this was for the greater good?” You quiz as you raise a curious brow. 
“Something like that, yeah,” He shrugs. - Chapter 45
You tell him, “If I had one wish, it’d be that you did that from the beginning.” 
Gojo opens his mouth to say something but then he swallows his words down. He nearly fucked up. 
“All you had to do was talk to me,” Your shoulders raise into a shrug as you move a hand to the doorknob, “Things could’ve been different if you did.” 
“Even if I’ve been obsessed with you since the beginning?” He questions and he’s stepping closer to you again. He can’t possibly wrap his head around that possibility- 
You laugh a bit, “Especially if you were obsessed from the beginning,” You didn’t know it but that statement right there made the man feel as though his world was falling apart, loads of regret tumbling over him as he stares at you with wide eyes, “Satoru I think you forgot but, before all this started, aside from Shoko… I was lonely.” 
Gojo’s throat goes dry and he fails to form a response to that, “I…” 
“If you had just talked to me one time, and more than a hey or how are you,” The way your eyes soften, a slim sheer gloss of tears coating your gaze as you speak to him, “I would’ve fallen for you.” 
He grits his teeth, “Don’t tell me that.” 
“But it’s true.” You say. 
And just like that, Gojo was crumbling all over again. If only you knew how much he regretted everything after hearing you say that. - Chapter 46
if he had just spoke to the reader before all of this, maybe she wouldn't have gone to those parties, hooked up with those people, and caused whatever kind of blackmail Sukuna had on Gojo (or on her).
He wishes he could take it all back, his feelings for you included. If only he could go back and stop himself from ever being curious about you. That’s what started it after all. Because, at the end of the day, Gojo knew who you were before you knew who he was— hell, even before Shoko knew who you were. - Chapter 53
then what is the timeline of his obsession starting? has it been before Gojo? could his blackmail have taken place even before Shoko introduced you two, adding to the weight of the threat that Sukuna held over Gojo's head (regarding the peeping tom theory).
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A/N > The timeline on Gojo’s interest, not obsession just yet, on the reader will be addressed in the sequel so this’ll be answered there <3
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but there were certain parts that stumped me and my theories so i have some weird reasonings around them;
It's selfish of him and seriously fucked up but, he's said it before and he'll say it over and over again-- you're all he has. He made promises to everyone on that list, promises of delivering a woman to them at some point, and of course, he couldn't convince anyone he knew to do such a thing. 
So again, the situation with you just happened to be a coincidence. 
The problem is that Gojo hates that it's you. He hates that you're the one he ended up doing this to. - Chapter 8
Gojo's known to be a silly guy so it could make sense that he actually did promise these guys hookups for reasons unrelated to his blackmail. after all, he does have a reputation for getting people hookups. the coincidence is that Sukuna now has dirt on Gojo and wants to toy with him. by making the reader sleep with them the guys he coincidentally owes hookups to, he fulfills his role/reputation and relieves his debt at the same time. two birds, one stone.
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A/N > As we later learn that some of the “debt” Satoru claimed to have isn’t real, we can also infer that his reputation & the promises he’s made to these men were done out of coincidence. Take Toji for example; tell me you can’t see an interaction between him & Gojo where Gojo gets a bad grade and wants to get it up so he taunts his professor with the idea of getting him a hookup & Toji would laugh it off considering Gojo’s reputation ;)
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another thing that stumped me is why Gojo got so worked up with the reader referring herself as a whore, and the connection to Sukuna. my delulu reasoning is that once Sukuna threatened Gojo with blackmail by either of the two theories/methods i mentioned, Sukuna casually referred to the reader as a whore. that caused a major fight between the two, possibly even getting physical (which can refer back to the implication that Gojo has hurt people for the reader).
the fight could have increased the tension and severity of the situation, so Sukuna decides to add Choso to the list knowing how easily attached Choso gets. in chapter 5, the reader and Gojo were discussing the list and Choso specifically. Gojo was even noted to be relieved when the reader had mentioned that they'll just have to hope that Choso doesn't get attached, as he obviously holds deep feelings for the reader. Sukuna knows that by going through with the blackmail with Choso involved, Gojo most likely will not end up with the reader if Choso get attached and the reader reciprocates those feelings.
also, the counterargument that Sukuna and Gojo are actually friends/allies in this situation just doesn't sit well with me. it would make for a crazy twist but it just feels too out of character for Gojo. but then again, how would Sukuna specifically know about The F*ck List? but idk, it just feels so wrong to me. maybe i have too much faith in Gojo lmfao. after all, he has consistently shown a great dislike towards the guy since chapter 23. but maybe it's my denial speaking. i really don't want to think of Satoru going through this whole arc only for it to reveal that he truly is a piece of shit. pls don't do this to my pookie my heart cannot handle it </3
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A/N > Remember, Gojo is a good actor & you go a long period of time in the book not realizing he’s not as much of a villain as he pretends to be 😉 
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there's that moment after the reader fucked Sukuna that still messes with my brain. with my theories, my brain's thinking that he contemplated on collecting even more blackmail on the reader. for what reason? idk, to be an ass? to torment Gojo further and add more to his blackmail? but maybe he decided not to because he already has plenty of blackmail on the reader (if the theory of Sukuna having a video of her from way back then is true) and fucking her knowingly made Gojo pissed considering all the dirt Sukuna has.
so why can't Gojo tell her the truth now? why does he want to wait years in advance? maybe he's hoping that by that time, not only will you forget and not care about the situation overall, but maybe Sukuna will forget all about it as well. the chances of Sukuna holding on to the reader's blackmail for that long is slim and the reader would most likely be in a situation where she is completely separated from Sukuna depending on her job and living situation with Choso. the stakes are lower than if he were to reveal everything to you now, at a moment where your life is still so uncertain. it would go against his wish for you to end up happy.
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A/N > Maybe Gojo doesn’t tell her the truth because he can’t, just as he said 🌚 Perhaps he’s not allowed to yet. After all, why would Sukuna even tell the reader he made the list in the end? ^.^ Just some food for thought!
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regarding the future of TFL... fuck, bro. i have no fucking idea. i'm too caught up in the (presumed) past. i'm mourning fr. i love this fic sooooo fucking much. whenever you decide to pick up on the sequel, i will be there. if you choose to publish anything else in the meantime, i will be there. thanks for such a fun and memorable read, Kami. i'm excited to bookbind this soon 🤍🤍🤍 now, i need to watch blue lock to shove these feelings down.
yap fin (for now)
-☃️
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A/N > I love you sosoosooooo much for this. These theories are like reading an entirely new fanfic sometimes except, I know all the answers & what’s going to happen next, which only makes me more excited ^.^ Thank you for taking the time to make this, thank you for reading, thank you for supporting, just, THANK YOU.
This right here is exactly what I write for; people like you :)
To the others reading this breakdown & theory, thank ☃️anon because she’s a damn godsend & ilhsm ^.^ (definitely showing favoritism rn, sorry not sorry, ily all I swear)
Edit; Since you’re watching Blue Lock, I can’t wait to bring my Shidou fanfic here because a lot of the drama in TFL has inspo from that fic, which I wrote first ^.^ & I could totally see you enjoying it because not only is it a childhood friends to lovers than enemies & back to lovers troupe BUT it also includes Itoshi Sae x reader which ofc, adds hella drama :))
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P.S. It’s two am as I finally post this and omg sorry it took me a while, I wanted to answer other anons first before unpacking this badboy, again, tysm!!
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cryptictongues · 5 months
Text
To Kiss is to Hunger
pairing: Joshua Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Mature word count: 5.0K summary: You are terrified to kiss Joshua. Joshua has an idea to remedy that.
warnings: practice kissing, grinding, touching, intimacy, mutual pining, insecurities and self-doubt, just straight up romance
Author’s Notes: Ngl I know I said it would be a little frisky, but just so happens I made it just a little bit friskier because Joshua is just a touch starved man. Just a heads up, please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
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You couldn’t fathom why you are in the Shelves this late into the night. ‘It’s silly.” You think, walking around, trying to find anything to help you with your little dilemma. You tried to put your brain to rest, to calm its ravenous thoughts of anxiety, but the efforts were futile. And it is all because a teasing strawberry blond tried to kiss you.
You and the young Lord got quite close after his arrival to the Hideaway. You help out as a barmaid for Molly in the Ale House, and the first night of Joshua being out of the infirmary after the fall of Drake’s Tail had been all the talk. You would overhear conversations about how charming he was, how he was very knowledgeable about the lands of Valisthea, and how he is the brother of the leader of the Hideaway. He piqued your curiosity, as most newcomers do, but you didn’t think anything to come of it.
There was one night, however, where service wasn’t off its rig, and you had decided to take that time to practice your reading. Reading and writing are forbidden practices for Branded, and you were only able to learn reading due to old, scribbled writings thrown into the trash bins. You would rummage through for every written scrap in the dead of night and return it before your enslavers came to. To you, it was a piece to the puzzle of your freedom. But only a piece. 
You were reading an old children’s fairytale: a prince in search of the long-lost princess who searched day and night to find her. You were immersed, so much so you hadn’t noticed the presence in front of you, seemingly still but present all the same. 
“Ah, I read that story many times as a child. A true classic.”
Your head had snapped so far back you thought you would’ve fallen backwards. Your eyes jumped until they landed on the man before you, and you remember how wonderstruck you felt. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and the way he was looking at you had your stomach producing butterflies. You felt a sense of embarrassment, however, as the book you were reading was adapted for children. You knew those born with a silver spoon were highly educated, so to have someone as handsome and surely intelligent as he watching you read made you nervous to be a laughing stock. 
“Yeah, but it’s more of a watered down version of it. I’m sure I’ll get to read the original someday.” You had awkwardly explained, waiting for him to make a joke of your lack of ability to read at a level that matched your maturity. That joke, however, never came. He stayed and asked you questions, such as who your favorite character was, what your favorite part of the story was, and so on. That conversation led beyond the book, and it is a fond memory of the golden boy.
It wasn’t long after that he offered to tutor you and made an extraordinary effort to give you books about topics you liked. Hell, he would even bring books back from long expeditions that him, Clive, and Jill would go on. “I found this story about sea fairies that I thought you would like.” “I saw a merchant selling a copy of this book I think you’ll enjoy.” “This book made me think of you.”
After many nights and days passing, it had become apparent that your heart had let him in, and you were relieved to know that his heart blazed for you also. However, unlike you, he is very evident about how he shows his feelings for you. He initiated the first hand holding, the first embrace, every tender moment you both have shared has been started by him. It makes you nervous, he makes you nervous, but in a conflicting way because you want everything he has to offer, yet your life of being treated less than for so long has put in the fear of not being enough. You fear you will misstep, embarrass yourself, he will realize he can have someone better, and let you down gently. He is a gentleman, after all.
All of the insecurities and doubts you hold have led you to the shelves due to this past evening's events.
-
A gathering of many members of the Hideaway was taking place, enjoying each other’s company, exchanging stories from the road, and eating and drinking so good that spirits were at an all time high. About halfway through the evening, Joshua and Clive had returned from their mission that had kept them away for well over a week, and joined everyone in the festivities. You could feel Joshua’s eyes on you constantly as you worked, soft gazes in your direction as you brought over more ale. You hadn’t seen each other since he had left, and you could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted you close, longing for your time. 
And you weren’t the only one to sense it.
“Go on.” You heard Molly speak as you polished the cups.
“Hmmm?” You turned to see her smirking at you, nudging her head in the direction of the young Rosfield. 
“You are free of your duties. You spend some time with everyone, especially you know who.” 
You shook your head, your cheeks flushed. “I appreciate it, but Molly there is a lot to clean up. I can’t ask you to do this all by yourself.”
“Nonsense.” She scoffed, walking to you, taking the scrub and cup out of your hands, only to set them aside to grab your own. “We all deserve a little down time. Please, I insist.”
You hesitated, and her eyes softened. “In these troubling times, every moment counts; for anything can happen at any time. We must be selfish with our time.” 
That alone had set you into motion. You had walked over to sit beside him, hip to hip, his arm draped around your side with his head leaning slightly against your own as Clive shared his and his brother’s adventures. 
You could tell Joshua was more touchy than normal, not that you minded. You would feel him squeeze you from time to time. If you shifted slightly, he would adjust so you were still close to him. You would feel him turn his head to bury his face into your hair, gentle caresses of his lips against your scalp. No words were spoken between the two of you, just enjoying the night together with everyone. But even nights like these had to end. 
You called it a night, telling everyone that you were going to head to the bed chambers, but not before Joshua insisted on walking you there. The two of you had bid goodnight to the others, and with your hand in Joshua’s grasp, the two of you walked to the bed chambers, small talk between the two of you as you both headed there slowly.  
“I can’t believe you let Clive do that.” You giggled, Joshua’s story about his older brother shoving a carrot into his mouth to make him sick. 
“He had reason, for we were in an unfortunate situation. We needed a reason to slip away.” Joshua grimaced, vaguely remembering the taste of the raw carrot. “Besides, I have always had a soft spot for my brother. I’d do anything for him.”
“I know having him back in your life has been a gift.” You smiled, waving his arm back and forth as you both approached the bed chambers. He pulled your arm back gently, causing you to turn into his arms. The way he was looking at you left you speechless; a thousand words being spoken through one look. 
“Why yes, it has truly been a gift by the Founder to be reunited with my brother.” He brings your hand up to his chest, right above his heart; the thumping gingerly warming up your palm. “It has also been a gift to have the honor of being allowed your time, my lady.”
You shook your head, but before you could’ve said anything, Joshua had spoken once more. “On the topic of gifts, I have something for you.” 
He slipped his free hand into the large pouch of his belt and pulled out what you can see is a book. He placed the book in both of your hands, grazing them before allowing you to inspect it. You recognized the artistry of the book: hardbound leather, intricate gold lining, and a sturdy weight in your hand. You looked at the title and you found yourself releasing a shaky breath. 
“I thought you said there were no more copies.” You whispered, in disbelief as to what you were seeing. Enchanting thy Fair Maiden. It was a copy of a book Joshua has praised over. He would recite lines to you from what he memorized as a child, and you would ask him to retell them to you over and over again, never tiring from hearing his smooth voice telling you a tale.
“It took some bartering, but it was worth it if it means I could grant you a copy.” 
Snapping from your mind, you looked to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joshua, I can’t accept this. This is one of your favorite stories. You should keep it.” 
You tried pushing the book back into Joshua’s, but not before him grasping both of your hands and gently pushing it back into your vicinity. “My lady.” He begged. “I can reassure you that nothing would please me more than you accepting this gift.”
You stayed silent for a moment, a brief pause in the timeline aside from you and him, before smiling shyly, looking away from him in a flush. “I will cherish this for all days, Joshua. Maybe you can read it to me properly sometime.”
“Anything for you, dearest.” 
Your gaze stayed down, not knowing how to bid farewell for the night, before you felt Joshua’s hand lightly touch your cheek, lifting your face for him to look upon. You sensed a certain hesitancy, his eyes seeking for something on your face before landing back on your own. 
“May I try something?” 
Everything started to go slow and fast at the same time, your mind racing and hyper focusing on every detail. You focused on how much closer Joshua had gotten to you, how his body heat had your body melting tenfold, how his face leaned down to yours, his hand stroking your cheek. You realized what he was asking to do: he was asking to kiss you.
Sudden flashes of self-doubt came crashing down onto you, Joshua’s hand on your branded cheek making you feel self-conscious. What is he doing? How can he want to kiss me? Oh, Greagor be with me, I have never kissed anyone. I am going to make a fool of myself!
Out of reflex and fear, you stepped back and away from Joshua’s reach. He looked startled, not expecting your reaction, and all you could do was stare at him as you calmed your heart down. You felt embarrassment shudder down your spine, but you knew that it would have been worse if you had attempted to kiss him. 
You tried to shrug it off, chuckling awkwardly as if that would erase the last few seconds of shame you felt. “It is late. I’m afraid I must turn in. Goodnight, Joshua.” 
You flung the chamber door open and closed it just as fast without a glance in Joshua’s direction, your back hitting the wood as you worked your anxieties down.
Now you’ve really done it stupid stupid STUPID!
-
So here you are, looking for a kissing manual that doesn’t exist.
“I can’t believe it has come to this.” You moan, shaking your head at how pathetic you currently feel. You want to kiss him; of course you want to kiss him! But the thought of kissing him and making a complete fool out of yourself has strung itself high in your head. You will do anything to ease your anxieties, and if finding literature that will help you is the way, then so be it. 
You keep searching the shelves, and finally you see something that catches your attention. You see a book with a deep red spine, and immediately you become curious. Red means romance which maybe means kissing, right? you think and go to reach for it, your tippy toes giving you an extra inch that helps you grab the old spine of the book. Once the book is grasped, you give it a once over and what you see is nothing at all. The book has no title, no author, no nothing. Just hardbound leather that looks as if it had been dyed with blood. 
You move to sit at a table, the kissing debacle hiding in the back of your skull as a new curiosity peeks. You stare at the book intently, like it was going to open up for you to tell you all of its secrets. A book with no visible identity, no mark.
The curiosity killed the cat as you finally flipped it open, the crackle of the pages singing, showing its age. The first few pages are barren with no offering until you reach the first official page. You read, smiling because you can read everything on the page in comprehension, but also because it’s a love poem. You never have had the chance to read poetry thus far, so this was a treat for you. Just the thing I need to ease my mind.
You continue reading the poems, most being about love, companionship, and things in the realm of romance. As you read them, you picture Joshua and yourself, like the two of you were living in the reality of this book full of lovely prose. In a way, it makes you recognize that maybe what Joshua sees in you is what you are imagining right now: a lover, a partner for life. You feel a sense of confidence swell in you, so you read on, addicted to the words written out.
Until you get to the next page.
What you read next halts your breathing, slowing it down to stop fire from growing in your chest. This poem is about the same things previously stated, love, romance, companionship, but in a much more intimate form. The words strung together formed the most erotic sentences, words of longing for the senses. They make you blush hotly; they make you antsy in your chair while locked in, but most especially they make your mind run wild with fantasies of you and him. 
Oh, you and him.
You mind wanders as you read, zoning out into a reality where you exude the confidence to give into Joshua’s desires and more. The words dig into your skin, warming you up that your thin nightgown felt like plenty of layers on this cool night. You are so immersed that you don’t hear the large doors open, and the calling of your name feels like a figment of your imagination. It’s not until you feel the warmth on your shoulders that you are brought back, feeling like a bucket of cold water has been dropped over your head from the cold sweat.
You slam the book shut, turning so quickly that the room starts to spin before the warmth on your shoulders grows firm, steadying you in your seat. You look to see Joshua staring at you, worry showing on his face seemingly from your reaction. “I deeply apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
You breathe a chuckle, seeing him here at a time like this would be your luck. You cross your arms, becoming extremely aware of your lack of clothing under his gaze. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same of you.” He retorts and pulls out a chair to sit facing you. “Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep much. I came here to see if doing more research would tire me, but it seems fate has chosen a more direct route to my restlessness.”
You see why he can’t sleep, and sigh because this is from your doing. “Joshua, you have nothing to fret over. You did nothing wrong.”
“But I’m afraid you are wrong, my lady. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and to know I put you in an uncomfortable position upsets me greatly. I would never dream of making you uneasy, and for my mishaps I must apologize to you. I cannot bear the thought of you keeping your distance because of my foolishness.” 
You watch him as he apologizes for his directness, which internally makes you laugh because that isn’t the issue. You love his directness, just as he is being direct with you right now. It’s you. It’s your cowardice for wanting something more and not having the courage to pursue because of the what ifs, the buts, the howevers. It’s your fear of rejection because of your lived experiences. It’s you, not him. 
“Joshua.” You state, moving to grab his hands within your own. “You did nothing wrong.”
“My lady, please I-” 
“Shhh,” you hush. “Let me speak.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, and I apologize for making you feel you need to.” You exhale, preparing to open yourself up for display. “It’s all me. I’m inexperienced, and I’ve been viewed as nothing for so long that I’m fearful that one misstep will set you away; that you can have someone who knows what they are doing and have the confidence to show for it.”
“Is that really what this is about?” Joshua asks.
You nod, looking down at the two of your intertwined hands. You see Joshua’s hands pull away from yours and your breath shakes. This is it. He is going to leave. That’s until you feel the heat that only the Phoenix could exude on your cheeks, your head being brought up to see him smiling. “My dearest,” Joshua whispers, as if talking any louder would damn him. “You are my everything, for you have captured me: mind, body, and soul. Also, your inexperience mirrors mine, I can assure you.”
Your eyes widen. “There is no way that can be true. You are a Lord.”
He’s laughing now, shaking his head as his hands go back to you, grasping them with care. “I was only a child then. Besides, the Undying were very protective of me under their care. There was no time nor place for such things. Even then, the only person that was always allowed in my vicinity was Jote, and we have never viewed each other romantically.”
“So, there really has been no one?” You whisper, your mind stuck between disbelief and credence.
“No. Not until now.” He squeezes your hands. “My heart belongs to you, and you alone. There is no one else I’d rather give myself to.”
You shiver, the idea of experiencing forms of intimacy together for the first time spreads a raging fire in your stomach. “You sure have a way with words, Joshua Rosfield.”
“You can thank all of the romance novels I read in my youth.” He chuckles. “Speaking of books, what were you reading?”
“What?” You ask, forgetting about the erotica sitting inches away from you. 
“The book you were reading. I don’t believe I have read that one yet. May I take a look?” 
You are panicking, knowing the contents of the book and who is asking to take a peek. You go to grab it, reacting as fast as you could, but alas you reacted too late. Joshua now has the book, opening the page you had left off on, and starts to read. You see his eyes go wide, his pupils dilating, his fingers fidgeting against the page he is holding. You freak out, going to reach for the book before he reads further. “Okay Joshua, that’s enough.” A smile creeps up slowly on his face, humming as he moves to stand up before your fingertips touch the book, backing away slowly as he continues. You stand up, walking up to him to get that god forsaken book away from him. 
“Oh Joshua, please give me back the book!” You panic. 
“By the Founder, what possessed you to read this smut?” Joshua smirks, seamlessly avoiding your grabby hands as he reads the pages. “Especially in the middle of the night?”
He wasn’t meant to see this! He wasn’t meant to see you reading the abhorrent words you were consuming. He wasn’t meant to see you like this in your flimsy gown. Damn me! Why did I not cover up more?!
“To taste the lips is to be fulfilled, for the instinct of man is to claim, conquer, and revel in the midst of her flesh. To kiss is to hunger, to feast among the softest of petals that call to him, beckoning for his return to get both of their fills.”
You are internally screaming now. You can’t believe he is tormenting you like this. You are still reaching for the book, desperate for this nightmare to end, before you hear an “oomph” as Joshua’s back collides into one of the shelves. You snatch the book from him, running back to put it back where it came from. “Okay, enough please!”
“Forgive me.” Joshua says, although it is said with a devilish grin. “I just didn’t know you had such… exquisite taste.”
“I didn’t even know what was in the book when I pulled it.” You say defensively, hands waving manically in front of you like they would make you more convincing. “I was just trying to find something that would help give me the courage.”
As if that isn’t as embarrassing, or even more so.
“What if we do something that helps us both gain courage? A practice session if you will.” Joshua says from the other side of the room, keeping his distance to see what tone you will take.
“What do you have in mind?” You draw out nervously, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.
Joshua walks back over to where you both had sat, moving the chair so it was facing you before sitting down. He rubs his thighs a little as if he needed to warm them up, before patting his lap. “Come take a seat.”
Instinct has you taking a step forward before a hitch finds itself in your feet, stopping them all together. 
“Do you trust me?” He asks sincerely.
“Of course, I do.” You quickly blurt out, as if answering a second later would draw doubt. 
He smiles, his hand reaching out to invite you over. “Then please, my dearest, come to me.”
You take a deep breath and walk over till you stand before him. You grasp his hand, tingles running up your arm as he pulls you to him and guides you onto his lap. Your hands move to steady yourself on his shoulders, while he places his hands on your lower back to support you. Your legs dangle on either side of the chair, your gown riding up your thighs which you are all too aware of. However, you note that Joshua is only looking at you, gauging to see where your head is. “Is this okay, my lady?”
“Mhmm.” You hum, trying to calm your rapid heart. This is so intimate, too intimate, but you want it. You want him. You want to create every kind of intimacy with him, and this is a start. You knew that it is time to take that leap, especially since he will take that leap with you. 
“Joshua,” you murmur, eyes still on his. “Will you kiss me?”
“As you wish, my love.” 
You close your eyes, leaning in slightly to show that you aren’t backing out. You feel one of Joshua’s hands move to your left cheek, your branded cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. Soon you feel him move forward, his forehead sitting against yours, his breath hitting your lips in puffs. The anticipation was killing you, your hands squeezing his shoulders to urge him on, and before you know it his lips are against your own. The kiss is light, a sweet peck before pulling away slightly, only to go back to give one more. You both are testing the waters, giving into each other slowly until the two of you start to grow peckish.
The kiss is gradual, pecks graduating to long lip locks and more movement. Your hands have found homage in Joshua’s hair, gripping not too hard but enough to show him how much you are enjoying him. His hands found their way to the crease of your hips, gripping the flesh to keep you in place. You can feel yourself growing restless, needing more of him within your senses. 
It’s like he can read your mind as his hands bring your body closer. A gasp leaves your lips as his groin settles against your heat, leaving your head spinning. His kisses become feverish, his hands roaming up and down your thighs, your nightgown receding higher in the process. You sense satiability is nowhere in sight, the movements of his body proving to you that the absence of intimate touch has turned him into a depraved man. Because even though Joshua Rosfield is a gentleman with a heart of selflessness, he is still a man with selfish desires and needs.
Your hands go back to grip at his shoulders, trying to calm yourself from his ministrations. A wetness hits your lips, and your mouth opens willingly, needing to taste him further. Your tongues melt together, creating a unique taste between the two of you that’s so addicting you don’t know how either of you will stop. You lean more into him, your hands going back to his hair to control his movements, causing him to groan in the most sinful way. You pull away, giggling knowing you got him to make such pretty sounds. The confidence from it goes straight to your head, going right back in for his lips to have him make more delicious sounds. 
A deep feral groan is released from Joshua’s throat, causing him to pull away in heavy breaths. He looks at you with hazy eyes, smiling deliriously. “You will be the death of me, my love.”
Your hands are now trailing from his hair to his chest, your hands running up and down the fabric of his tunic, feeling the toned body beneath it all. Your head leans back against his forehead, both of your breaths heavy on each other’s lips. “Then shall death keep us together, never parted.”
Joshua leans up back to your lips, kissing you hungrily, your declaration causing him to hunger for more. You still had the high ground, you being on top giving you more opportunity to take the lead. You knew this could be too soon, a little risky, but your sureness that Joshua feels the same hunger as you do is enough to convince you. You start to grind down slowly on top of him, your undergarments and his matching tunic pants the only barriers. 
“Fuck,” Joshua draws out breathless, his arms coming up to wrap around you to ground himself. 
“Does that feel good, my Lord?” You smile, feeling over the moon that you are making him act this way. 
“You have no idea.” Joshua gasps. “You have turned me into a new man.”
You giggle as you continue your movements. “Is that so?”
“By the Founder, yes!” He groans loudly at a particular movement of your hips. “How about I show you.”
Suddenly you are being lifted up, your butt settled onto a hard surface, legs spread apart by Joshua’s hips, and warm lips ravishing your own. Your nightgown is definitely way past your legs now, bunched up at your hips with Joshua’s hands right under the fabric. This new side of Joshua has you addicted, the push and pull the both of you are playing at exciting you more. You release his lips and lean up to his neck, nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and jaw. His breath hitches, leaning into you as you nip and kiss his neck. It’s as if he is hypnotized by your love bites, casting a spell on him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you, but in an instant everything stops.
You open your eyes to see Joshua breathing hard, his hands gripping the table. Your hands go to his face, worry etching into your brain. “Darling, did I do something wrong?”
Joshua laughs, his eyes opening to look right back at you. “Absolutely not.” His hands go to yours on his face, holding onto each one as he brings them down. “I just don’t want to accomplish everything in one night, especially here in the Shelves.”
He pulls you up to your feet, your hands still in his as he looks at you with the brightest smile on his face. “I want to have time to savor you when the time is right.”
Even after all of that, he is still ever the gentleman. 
“I agree. I’m sorry if I went too far.” You chuckle, a tinge of embarrassment in your tone. 
Joshua embraces you, his head tucked into your neck. “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope you don’t think I had ulterior motives.”
“Never,” you say quickly, squeezing him to you.
“We should head back to our respective beds before people notice we’ve disappeared.” Joshua hums.
You hum in agreement and pull back, so you are now under Joshua’s arm. Both of you head out the doors of the Shelves into the cool night air. You shiver, and Joshua brings you in closer to shield you from the cold. He walks you back to the bed chambers, and before he departs, he places a light kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter close at the bliss you feel in the moment. 
“Goodnight, my dearest. I shall see you in the morning.” Joshua says after he pulls away.
“Goodnight, Joshua. But before you go, may I request something?” 
“Anything for you, my dearest.” 
“Can we practice some more later? You are my tutor after all.” And my lover, my partner for life.
Joshua beams at you. “I would love nothing more.”
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justalia · 11 months
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belief
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this post takes inspiration from my journey and my unconscious “positive” manifestations.
i found manifestation back in 2020, didn’t think much of it to be honest and didn’t even attempt manifesting anything because the advice i found was to affirm and persist and laziness got over me. i couldn’t be bothered to do all that. i tried once ngl, i failed and never picked it up again until 2022.
in 2022 tiktok started to popularize this shit with weird quirky methods and at the time i started to think again about an sp. i randomly desired her but we had went no contact since 2020 and i wasn’t really that bothered by her presence/absence. i started to miss her and i would ALWAYS (i know you do this too) make up scenarios that implied we were together.
now this wasn’t conscious so i wasn’t thinking i was manifesting her, i didn’t give a shit mostly cause i did not wanna reach out to her and i just wanted to make up my silly little scenarios with no consequences.
putting the scenarios to the side i started to rediscover manifestation and found the whisper method on tiktok, long story short i did it and the next day she reached out to me all of a sudden. it was so random and it made no sense based on the method i did but i took it as a conscious manifestation because i had done that method.
spoiler: i was in the state of being in a relationship with her and the 3D reflected that.
this happened again in november, i set the intention to manifest something and i scripted it. i was constantly checking the 3D and then i decided i was done with it and i would just make up my silly little scenarios about it in my head.
i had so much fun with my imagination but i didn’t even think i was manifesting shit left and right because of it. i thought the methods were doing that for me. i thought that i just had to script it as it had already happened and it would manifest. i didn’t know what states were, i had no idea what law of assumption was in the first place.
this being said you can see that i always had the habit of experiencing my desire in imagination if i couldn’t get it in the outside. i always used imagination like a kid and to be honest that did manifest some good things in my life.
the fact that it wasn’t conscious tho didn’t allow me to maintain my manifestation when it came because i was focusing on the outside reality and didn’t recognize that it was my own doing, i didn’t recognize that i was the cause of everything.
this leads me to what i wanna talk about: belief.
reading edward art’s series led me to realize what was so difficult for me in the first stages of my journey of conscious manifestation.
i started studying law of assumption and everyone talked about belief: “believe it to be true” “believe you have it” “believe imagination”.
all these things confused me so much because i was like “what? that’s crazy, why do i have to act delusional, i manifested shit before and it wasn’t this hard”.
i was just finding out the mechanism of what i always had done in the past without even realizing it.
“give it to yourself in imagination”
i swear to god if only i understood before how easy this shit was supposed to be i would’ve saved myself from a lot of heartache and troubles. i was so stressed while learning and applying the law the first times that i literally didn’t get my period for a month because of how stressed i was lmao.
and it is crazy how i always used to do it yet i found the law to be so difficult to understand at first.
now my perspective is that belief is too strong of a word, belief is just a feeling, something you feel to be true IN IMAGINATION. it’s not about the outside. IT NEVER IS. it never was and it never will be. i thank edward art because he was able to put into words what i was struggling with and when i read his series i felt understood.
belief is to strong of a word. belief is just a feeling, something i feel to be true in imagination. nothing more nothing less. saying “in imagination” i do not want to imply there is a waiting period between the 3D and the 4D being reflected, cause to be honest i don’t believe it and i’ve not experienced all the time.
yes. all you have to do to “manifest” i know it is real in imagination and discard the outer world because why would it matter if you can have exactly what you want in imagination NOW?
all is mind, there’s no reason at all to want/need the 3D to reflect in order to feel your desire to be yours.
when i unconsciously manifested with fulfillment in imagination i did not think about believing anything, i simply felt what i wanted to feel. i satisfied myself with the only way i knew: daydreaming.
but alia, i daydream all the time why doesn’t it manifest?
because you daydream then wait for something to happen. when i unconsciously manifested something just by imagining having it i wad not EVER focused on getting it from the outside, i did not give a shit about the outer world and just enjoyed imagination because i wanted to and because i could. the key is: I HAD NO EXPECTATIONS. I WAS NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM MY IMAGINAL ACTS. I WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING TO CHANGE ANYTHING.
i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel.
read that again.
i was simply feeling what i wanted to feel. i was craving an experience and i decided to experience it in imagination. i thought to myself “well i can’t do anything to have it physically i don’t give a shit at this point i’m just gonna satisfy myself with imagination”
was i worried about:
is imagination enough? is it gonna reflect? is it gonna manifest? do i have it? am i doing enough?
NO I WAS NOT.
why? because i wasn’t trying to get anything in the first place!!!
i accepted that i could only have it in imagination and that i couldn’t do anything to manifest it because “the universe” would take care of it. (those were my beliefs at the time).
now i’m grateful to have found the law because i was not aware of how limitless we are and of the fact that circumstances did not matter at all and i could manifest literally ANYTHING i wanted. ANYTHING. i was still tied to logic before studying law of assumption so i didn’t fulfill every single desire i got but only the ones that were “realistic” like an sp.
and at the end of the day what even is realistic?
is manifesting an sp realistic? i don’t think so.
if you put logic into the game is it even really realistic to manifest someone to be in a relationship with you? probably not.
so if logic doesn’t apply anywhere at all in law of assumption and manifestation why would i worry about “making it happen”? all i have to do is enjoy having it in imagination.
the rest will follow like everything does.
i do not believe in the fact that there’s a time lag, i simply accept that i cannot know how imagination will be expressed and that includes the when because i don’t know which bridge of incidents i will take part in, i believe the 3D reflects imagination instantly in ways we don’t know anything of.
redirecting to the main topic:
belief is not something you should struggle with, you just have to FEEL what you want to be true in imagination, feel that you have it now, imagine yourself to have it/be it and imagine it in the most amazing way possible so that you WANT to go back to it, not because it manifests but because it is exactly what you want.
it is not your job to make anything happen on the outside, you can’t and you never will be able to.
you cannot experience it on the outside. accept this now and fulfill your desire in imagination now.
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milaisreading · 1 year
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I just found your account when you started posting the blue lock managers posts and I instantly followed and turn notifications on-
I was debating on requesting something but was nervous ehe😅
But if possible can you write something about manager having a like a obsessive fan of some sort that is always trying to get into the blue lock facility somehow to see her? I just wanna know what the bllk/u-20/egoist will do/react to that- especially the possessive(imo) ones(rin/sae/barou/Kaiser/ness etc) I feel like they will be very overprotective and threaten the person ngl-
Sorry if it doesn’t make sense- It made more sense in my brain but ya🤣 can’t ignore if too complicated!
Author: I like the idea and idk if I will be doing more parts to this, I will leave it up to you all, but I will go for now wit the characters you suggested. Thanks for the request🩷
Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Mentions of blood and stalking. Requests are open
⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️
'BATHROOM!' (Y/n) yelled in her head as she ran down the hallway. The whole morning she was trying to find an excuse to leave the training ground, but was stopped either by one of the coaches or by one of the boys who were making the most random requests. Now she found an escape in the form of Shion pissing Rin off, and while everyone was busy watching them, she escaped the room. Before she opened the bathroom door though, (Y/n) felt some weird shivers go down her spine and she looked around the place.
'Is someone... watching me? No, nobody is here. I think I just lack sleep.' She shook her head and walked inside.
'She looks even prettier in real life than on TV.' A figure thought as they watched (Y/n) from behind the corner of the hallway.
'It took me so long to finally get to her, and now she is finally within my reach. Thank God they didn't control who are the real staff members and who the fake ones are.' The boy giggled as he observed the bathroom door.
'She will finally be mine!'
The boy smiled as he noticed the door open and he quickly ran over to the door.
"Finally." The girl sighed, ready to return to her duties when a unfamiliar voice called out for her.
"(Y/n)~"
"Ha?" The girl turned around quickly, only to come face to face with a staff member she never met.
"Wh...who are you?" (Y/n) gulped, noticing the crazy look in his eyes.
"I am your biggest fan~ I came here to rescue you from this place. Full of filth and people who don't deserve your presence." The boy giggled as (Y/n) grew nauseous, noticing she has really no way to escape him.
'What now?!'
"I-I seriously don't know who you are. Please leave this place, I promise I won't tell anyone about this-"
"No! You don't understand!" The boy yelled, growing angry at her protests and grabbed her shoulders.
"Do you not see how this isn't for you?! You shouldn't be fulfilling wishes of these germs! I know what's best for you and your best is to be with me!"
"I don't even know you!" (Y/n) yelled, flinching as his grip tightened.
"That's ok... we have all the time in the world to get to know each other-"
"What the fuck?!" A new voice appeared and (Y/n) felt the soul leave her body as she looked at the figure in front of them.
Rin:
'R-Rin...' (Y/n) thought as she looked at the teal-eyed boy, who looked ready to murder the boy holding (Y/n).
"The hell are you doing with my manager, lukewarm?! Let her go!" Rin ordered as he walked closer to the boy.
"Is this really who you want to stay with? You would be treated way better if you were with me." The boy said as he looked at the horrified girl. Somethings snapped in Rin as he heard those words.
'Some... some nobody thinks he can take (Y/n) away from me? And treat her better?'
Rage bubbled up inside of him and he punched the guy in the face, causing him to let go of (Y/n) and fall to the ground.
Using this opportunity, (Y/n) ran behind Rin.
"What us going on here?!"
"What's with the loud noises?" Two other staff members ran over and looked at the trio, horrified at the scene.
"Take this asshole away from here before I do it myself. He tried to kidnap (Y/n)." Rin said in a threatening manner and took the boy away.
Once gone, Rin seemed to have calmed down a little and turned to look at (Y/n), who was still in shock.
'That asshole... should have punched him harder. But now I have to focus on her.'
"Come on, let's calm you down first." Rin said, picking the girl up and walking towards the medic room.
"B-but your training-"
"It can wait. Just relax, it's only me here. Nothing will happen to you." Rin said in a softer tone as (Y/n) nodded her head, easing up a little bit.
"Thank you, Rin." She said softly, laying her head on his shoulder. The boy sighed and looked at the path in front of himself.
'I will protect you... no matter what. A nobody will not take you from me.'
Sae:
Now Sae was always a calm person and tried not to lose his temper in front of (Y/n) of all people, to show her he was mature and thought with his brain. But something just snapped in him and the rational part flew out the window when he saw a literal nobody grabbing onto the girl and scaring her to the point where she started crying. The older Itoshi lost every piece of self control at the proclamation the guy made and in a matter of seconds he was on the ground, passed out as Sae stood over him with a bloody knuckle. Sae seemed to have not noticed how strong his one swing was, strong enough to break some of his skin off.
"What the..." one of the security guards muttered as he looked between the three.
"He... uh... he..." (Y/n) stuttered, still in a daze from the previous events, but the guard seemed to have understood what had happened.
Once the guy was carried away, Sae seemed to have calmed down a little.
'He dared to touch her...that nobody touched her... I will kill him.' Sae's eyes narrowed as he tried to walk after them, but was stopped by (Y/n).
"S-Sae... your hand is... we need to treat it."
The boy looked at (Y/n), his eyes softening as he saw her worried look.
"It's nothing, it doesn't even hurt. It would have hurt more if that maniac had hurt you." Sae shook it off.
"Still, come on it will get infected. We can't gave you returning to Spain with wounds from a fight." (Y/n) tried to joke, but Sae didn't like it.
'It was for your safety.'
The older Itoshi put a hand on her head and gave her a small smile.
"I don't mind, as long as it's for you, these wounds don't hurt."
"Sae..." (Y/n)'s eyes widened at those words.
Shidou:
Bow Shidou was known for a lot of things, a great football player, aggressive when playing, questionable behavior at times and also for being very protective of the ones he holds close to his heart. So it came to no surprise to anyone when he stomped over to where (Y/n) and the unknown guy were, grabbed him by his collar and threw him away.
'It looked like he did it with 0 effort too.' (Y/n) thought with wide eyes as Shidou stood in front of her, shielding her form from the guy.
"It seems like some bottomfeeder forgot his place here. Who are you to come here and touch (Y/n) like that? Trash like you can just watch her from a distance."
Shidou said, his grin making his whole presence even more ominous than it already was.
"Who I am? I am the only one of you freaks who will know how to treat my (Y/n) right, you all don't even deserve her." The boy argued back.
"My (Y/n)? You seem to want those teeth knocked out, huh?" Shidou grinned wider, scaring the boy as he cracked his knuckles.
"Shidou... just call a guard... please." The blonde stopped in his tracks and looked over at (Y/n), his eyes widening when he noticed the tears running down her face.
'I will kill him one day. He deserves the worst pain.'
"Alright." Shidou said, picking the boy up by his collar.
"You are lucky she is here now... but don't worry, you will meet my fists very soon." Shidou whispered to the boy, who looked ready to throw up.
Kaiser:
For Kaiser the highlight of visiting Japan is pissing Isagi off and take (Y/n) away from the group to spend some alone time with her. During that time he would try to get her to come back to Germany with him, and so far it didn't really work. With that being said l, Kaiser had always his eyes on (Y/n)'sform, at any time. So when he noticed her leave, Kaiser decided to wait it out for a few minutes and then went to look for (Y/n), and he sure regretted waiting for so long after the scene he witnessed.
"I will teach you a lesson on touching my girl. You little piece of shit." Kaiser whispered as he punched the guy for the 3rd time, a wide smile on his face when he noticed the blood running down his face.
'I will kill him! I will kill him-'
"K-kaiser! Please stop... you will get hurt."
The boy looked away from the passed out one and looked at (Y/n). The worried and horrified look on her seemed to call him down and he sighed, getting up and walking to her.
"But I need to teach him a lesson. Didn't he scare you and touch you?" Kaiser questioned, trying to keep his cool as he remembered the scene.
"H-he did... but it's not worth to hurt yourself because of it. I already called a security guard. Come on, I need to clean up your hand." The boy seemed to have had an epiphany and he pulled the girl into a hug.
'Mine.' Be thought as his grip tightened on her.
Ness:
Now Ness was generally a calm guy, unless you insulted (Y/n) or Kaiser, then he will go full on mental. And while he kept that side hidden from (Y/n), he just couldn't do it now. Because when Ness saw the creep touching her and causing her distress, he was ready to commit murder.
'That bastard.' Ness smiled tightly and walk up to the duo.
"What... what do you want, freak?" The guy questioned, but got no answer in return. Instead, Ness grabbed the man's jacket and pulled him away.
"I will be back in a minute." The magenta-eyed boy said to (Y/n), who said nothing in return.
"What is it? Just say something, pig?" The boy said glaring up at Ness, who laughed and moved closer to the boy.
"Listen up, you piece of trash. Just because I am calm now doesn't mean that's how I feel. If I ever see your ugly self near my angel, I will make sure not even your own family will recognize you, once they find your body. (Y/n) is off limits for everyone, especially you." Ness whispered into the boy's ear and then moved away, satisfied with the pale look he caused him.
"Now, scram." Ness said in a low tone as his smile turned into a frown.
"Are you alright? He didn't hurt you?" Ness asked once he got back to (Y/n). The girl shook her head and wiped some of the tears away.
"No, I am fine. What about you?"
"I am alright, don't worry about me. Now, let's get you out to calm down a little. I know just the spot for it." Ness smiled and pulled (Y/n) along.
"Thank you, Ness." The girl said as the boy shook his head.
"It was nothing."
815 notes · View notes
quin-ns · 2 years
Text
The Future is Now (Aemond Targaryen x Reader)
Word count: 4.3K
Summary: aemond discovers plans for you to be wed in the near future are being made—and they don’t include him as your husband. he’s not happy about it, especially when you don’t protest
Tags: (18+), cw: dub-con, cw: sibling incest, targaryen!reader, dark themes, coercion, kissing, manhandling, intimidation, choking (not actually but his hand is on her neck), P in V sex, loss of virginity, multiple orgasms, aemond is kinda scary but also weirdly loving. idk that’s just the vibe I ended up going with
Disclaimer: if you are uncomfortable with dark themes in your fanfiction, then this story is not for you. I do not condone sexual violence irl, but this is fiction—a fantasy—so morality police need not interact. if you don’t like it, keep scrolling.
A/N: first darker fic but I couldn’t help but be inspired by a darker character. ngl I’m team black but I can’t help but be intrigued by aemond and this idea invaded my brain
cross-posted to ao3 • hotd masterlist • writing masterlist
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Aemond had become nearly an expert at concealing his presence as he lurked within the Red Keep. This skill allowed him to be privy to private conversations he had not been welcomed into.
Because of this, he knew all about his grandsire’s plan to place Aegon on the throne once the king had passed. He also knew that his mother had not been involved in that conversation. It was obvious Otto Hightower was running things.
That meant that more of his journeys to seek information were focused on Otto. That’s why when conversations around the marriage of his darling sister came up, Aemond was there to witness it.
It had always been an assumption of his that due to his two older siblings being wed to one another, it would only make sense for you to become his wife. You were his younger sister just as Helaena was to Aegon. It was only fair.
Well, Aemond heard every single word as Otto schemed to marry you off to some prince from another region in order to gain support for Aegon as future king. That infuriated him. Aegon already had the throne instead of him, and now the future wife he’d been (mostly) patiently waiting for was not to be his? No. He couldn’t let this stand.
Enough had been heard of his grandsire’s plot. Aemond left his concealed spot silently to search for his mother. He needed to know if she had been aware of this plan. There was a voice in the back of his head that knew she hadn’t orchestrated it, yet there was still concern that she would side with the wants of her father over her son. Alicent had a weakness to Otto, he had been influencing her decisions long before anyone else could.
When Aemond found her and confronted his mother about everything he had heard, that concern was validated.
Standing across from him, gazing upward, Alicent let out a gentle breath. “I did not know what he had planned for your sister,” she admitted. Then, unfortunately, she continued. “But I have to agree. The marriage of Aegon to Helaena was meant to strengthen his claim to the throne. For you that is not necessary.”
The words struck like a knife. It being confirmed there was no intention for you to be wed to him was the painful stab, and being reminded yet again he was to be denied the throne was just twisting it.
“So I get nothing?” Aemond asked accusingly, initial disappointment shifting into anger and impending dread.
“You may still have a wife of your choosing, but—”
“Not the one I truly want,” he finished, nearly spitting out the words.
Alicent let out a sigh and tilted her head—it was that look she’d get when she was experiencing pity—but didn’t say a word. There were no words left for Aemond to say. He gave her a cold look that was somehow even more menacing with just the one eye before turning his back on his mother.
Aemond was fuming as he mindlessly walked through the palace. Those who wandered the corridors were quick to move out of his way. He must’ve looked as enraged on the outside as he was on the inside.
He found himself outside of the door to your chambers. Without hesitation, he barged in. Once the doors were closed behind him, Aemond spotted you sitting near your largest window, simply gazing out at the landscape below. You were already dressed for bed despite the sun only now starting to set. You turned to face him and offered a welcoming smile, which caused a feeling of relief to wash over him. Aemond often found comfort in you.
You were meant for him. He knew you were. No one would ever make him feel like this. Maybe it wasn’t common to marry for love but after he’d been scorned with denial of the throne, how could you be taken from him as well? He was owed at least one thing he desired.
You stood from where you were seated and approached your older brother. “Hello,” you greeted calmly before noticing the energy radiating off of him. “What’s happened?” you wondered, stopping a few feet away.
“Your marriage is being discussed,” Aemond revealed. “There’s talk of you being wed to a prince from another house.”
You were silent for a long moment, eyes gazing past him as you seemingly thought over his words. You and Helaena remind him of one another. You both hardly had interest in any of your family’s dramas, but unlike Helaena, you had developed much more apathy to it. Aemond wondered if it was because of your age, being the youngest you had hardly any say—even less than your sister if that was even possible. At a point you had stopped speaking up and resolved to keep to yourself and your books. The only one who you allowed to draw your attention was Aemond.
It was a privilege even your own mother didn’t have.
Maybe that’s why he thought he was special in your eyes, that you’d reciprocate his anger at the thought of him not becoming your husband. He had desired you for so long and there were moments when Aemond was certain you felt the same. You’d never spoken the words aloud that you loved him in that way, but there was something there. To him, it was only a matter of time. That eventually he would have you. It always seemed to be a given.
Until now.
When you finally spoke, your question pulled him from his thoughts and brought his focus to your face. The expression you wore was hard to read, but he could see the consideration you gave it.
“Do you know when I am to be married?” Your tone almost sounded tired. Like you’d already given up on the matter.
Admittedly, he was briefly stunned. “You’re not in agreement,” Aemond didn’t ask, he stated it as if it was to be expected. To him, it should’ve been.
You let out an impassive sigh. “If it’s what the queen and the hand have decided,” you began with disdain in your voice, “then do I even have a choice?”
Aemond knew you cared nothing for the power struggle between the heirs. You’d revealed that to him once, saying, “I do not care for politics. Whoever ascends the throne, I want no part of it.” Aemond didn’t share your sentiments, but his ambition was much more deadly than yours.
He took a short, frustrated breath. It bothered him that you’d be so flippant in the matter. He continued to insist, “It is you and I that should be wed.”
“Perhaps there was a time when that would be the truth, but it is not now.” There was a rageful glint in his eye as you spoke. It was hard to conclude whether it was directed towards you or at the situation.
You resumed stepping closer to him, looking up at your older brother. Your soft hands rose to cup his sharp jaw. “I love you, brother.” Those words washed over him like a wave, he always relished in hearing you speak them. If only you’d confirm the type of love went beyond your love for him as a brother.
Aemond almost allowed himself to relax into your touch and your sweet words. Then you continued. “That’s why I say this. It will do you no good to lust after things you cannot have. The throne…”
“You,” Aemond finished.
A few beats of silence passed before you answered.
“Yes.”
Aemond gazed down at you intensely, his entire demeanor becoming even more icy than what was normal for him. He let out a small, humorless laugh. It was a harsh, mocking sound.
“You think I cannot have you?”
There was venom in his voice. His eye was wide with sudden anger. The expression on your face shifted when you saw that. Your eyes that previously held sympathy and your subtle frown that pleaded for understanding began to fade.
Fear was trickling in. He could sense it.
Aemond knew he was intimidating, that some even viewed him as frightening, but he’d never turned those tactics on you the way he did others. He could justify to himself that it wasn’t intentional, but the spark that ignited in him at the reaction you had was undeniable.
He’d finally provoked you. Now he truly had your full attention. His mind began to race. The darkness he usually directed towards his enemies began to take hold. You were standing in front of him, hands slipping from contact. He snapped to grab one of your wrists and you flinched. A small gasp even slipped from your lips.
You were scared of him. Aemond liked it.
It had not been his plan when Aemond first entered your chambers, but in that moment he made up his mind.
“I may not be able to take the throne, but I will take you,” he said with hostility. Aemond took a step forward, forcing the gap between the two of you to become shorter. Your throat bobbed as you swallowed and your eyes shone with concern. You tried to step back, but the grip he had on your wrist tightened.
“Aemond…” you breathed out.
“You and I have always been meant to be,” Aemond declared with certainty. To you, it sounded like a threat.
He leaned down, nose brushing against yours. Aemond felt your breath hitch as his lips sought out yours. You were seemingly too stunned to move, but that benefited your brother as he freely captured your soft lips.
Aemond fisted his hand in the fabric of your dress to pull you closer to him. Finally he released the grip on your wrist, only to slide his hand up to yours. He held it tight and pulled it between the two of you, his fingers laced with yours. Aemond couldn't trust you to stay in place but he didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe you were scared, and maybe Aemond enjoyed it, but he did care for you. His feelings in the moment were conflicting as even he couldn’t predict his next action, but one thing was crystal clear to him; Aemond loved you.
His other large, cold hand rose to your face. Aemond’s pale skin always seemed to be chilled and you shivered as his fingers ghosted your jawline. He finally cupped your face, his thumb resting on your cheek.
Aemond kissed gently at first, testing the waters. You didn’t kiss him back, but you also didn’t pull away. He twisted that in his mind to view it as permission. Once he got a small taste, there was no turning back.
His lips began to move against yours with fervor, desire and need seeping out. The kiss seemed like he was starving and with each movement you began to believe he was going to devour you. Especially when Aemond’s teeth sank into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood.
You gasped at the sting of pain and turned your head away. His hand didn’t keep your head still but Aemond didn’t miss a beat. His lips found the side of your cheek and he kissed his way down your neck. The side of your face rested against his hand now. His thumb strangely ran down the bridge of your nose, then over your lips.
The hand on your face fell to the neckline on your sleep dress. He fiddled with the material, feeling the softness of the fabric between his fingers as he nipped at your neck.
Aemond pulled his head back to watch you carefully. He turned your head back and you met his eye. The slight smile on his face was somehow both devious and shy.
Only now did the silence between the two of you make its way to your mind. You hadn’t said a word. Aemond didn’t need to. He had you where he wanted you.
His hand released yours and both moved to the back of your sleep dress. With a wicked glint in his eye Aemond leaned in to kiss you again just as his fingers began to undo the string keeping the dress in place.
That shocked you back to reality. The spell of complacency evaporated and you took a step back from him. You weren’t sure who was more surprised by your sudden movement, you or Aemond. Your brother looked confused and even a little hurt, but there was a clear agitation that began to fester.
You swallowed through the lump in your throat and spoke first. “We can’t.” The words came out as a whisper. “I’m sorry, Aemond,” you said much clearer. “I do not wish to see you upset, but this can’t go any further.”
Your decided tone made him glare. Aemond stepped forward and you stepped back. The expression on his face in that moment terrified you as he closed in on you. You hadn't ever wanted to be on the receiving end of his wrath. Aemond never reacted well to being slighted.
“Who’s going to stop me?” he challenged.
You hated that sinister look on his face. It scared you. The position you were in finally sank in. Aemond stared down at you as prey as he closed in.
You backed away yet again, but this time you bumped against your bed. You fell backward and landed to sit on the foot of your bed. This seemed to be exactly where Aemond wanted you.
Time seemed to slow as you looked up at your brother, unable to move or speak. Aemond was horrifyingly silent as he held his gaze on your face.
Any sort of plan Aemond had was completely thrown out the window. Aemond hadn’t prepared for you to resist after you first accepted his kiss. He hadn’t even planned on kissing you. He was reacting in the moment. He hadn’t planned on scaring you at first, either. But this is where he was now and Aemond was never one to back down from what he wanted. Hell, he was still vying for the throne—getting you was much easier.
Everything moved quickly then. You hardly had time to register as Aemond shoved you further up on the bed and climbed on top of you. His knees planted on either side of your legs, and his large hands wrapped around your wrists and pinned them down when you tried to push him off.
“We’re meant to be married,” Aemond said firmly, his face hovering above yours. Your eyes were wide, pleading. Your soft lips were parted, panting out frightened breaths. “You’re so beautiful…” he murmured, as if unaware that he was saying it out loud.
“You’re frightening me, Aemond,” you said softly, asking him to stop, or at the very least... “Please don’t hurt me.”
Your gentle pleading made him hesitate for a moment. “I don’t want to hurt you,” Aemond revealed. In his heart, he meant it. At least, he wanted to mean it. You wished that was reassurance, but then he continued. “You’re my sister and my wife. You are mine. But you don’t seem to understand that. So…”
Aemond released your hands and you shot to push him away. He must’ve known that was coming because his right hand immediately fell to your neck. He didn’t squeeze hard, but the grasp was enough to still you. Your breath hitched.
“…I’ll make you understand,” he finished.
His left maneuvered the top of your dress down, revealing your naked chest. You heard your brother’s breathing falter.
Aemond’s body flooded with anticipation. He could feel himself reacting to the excitement. He’d waited so long to take you and now it was happening and seven hells he was going to enjoy it. It was unfortunate that you didn’t share in his spirits, but Aemond would do everything in his power to allow you to find pleasure as well. He wanted you to want to be with him. He’d give you time after this initial coupling to accept him because Aemond would be damned if he mirrored his elder brother in his marriage.
But for now, he’d have to coerce it from you.
Your face was flushed with heat. Shame overwhelmed you as your brother reached beneath your dress and skillfully removed your undergarments. He seemed to know that he wouldn’t be able to get your dress fully off without having to fight with you, so he simply pushed the skirt of it up.
Your dress was still on, just bunched around your middle. Your chest and above, and your waist and lower were exposed.
Aemond drank you in, his eyes trailing over your body. Finally, he spoke. “I wish my first woman had been you.” Your brother sounded nearly breathless already. He shoved his knee between your legs and forced them to part.. “Not some whore for Aegon’s amusement.” Bitterness drifted briefly into his tone, but then it faded. He was too eager to be angry about the past at the moment. He kept one hand on your neck, while the other reached to push his pants down. He didn’t bother with anything else. Undressing would require two hands and he couldn’t afford to risk it.
You didn’t look down. You knew he’d taken his cock out and you did not wish to look upon what he was doing. Even as he maneuvered himself between your legs.
You were meant to stay a maiden until your marriage. While marriage between siblings was not uncommon, Aemond was not your husband (despite his claims). If anyone found out you were with a man who was not your husband, even if you didn’t want to be, you’d be viewed as spoiled goods. You weren’t expecting to be happy as a wife to some ally prince, but at least you’d be useful to your family. Now, it seemed as if you were only to be used by your family—well, your brother.
The press of his cock at your entrance made you suck in a breath. “Well…” he mused. “At least I will take pleasure in knowing that I am the first man to touch you. And the last.”
Aemond thrust into you after that declaration. You let out a cry but had enough awareness to press your lips together and muffle the sound seconds later. If anyone heard, Aemond could twist things and you’d be the one being facing backlash.
Your brother let out a groan, adjusting to the tight squeeze. He could hardly move within your walls but he pushed himself as deep as he could go.
A man had never had you, but you knew Aemond was large. His cock felt as if it was splitting you open and your breath left you completely.
Once he was seated inside you, Aemond’s hand on your neck finally released. He stared down at you, watching as you clenched your eyes shut. His cold hands finally began to explore the smooth skin of your naked body trapped beneath him. You shuddered under his touch, but you’d stopped fighting him.
“Look at me,” Aemond coaxed. His hand grazed over your breast before tapping your chin. He gently turned your head and you allowed your eyes to flutter open. You felt so small under his lustful, empowered gaze.
Aemond leaned over you. He planted one hand on the mattress beside your head and gripped your hip with the other. He angled your hips up to give himself better access. Bruises would be left in his wake almost certainly.
Pain accompanied the feeling of his cock withdrawing from your body. You winced, but it turned to a choking gasp when he pushed back into you. Hard. You couldn’t help your reaction as you found yourself having latched onto him. Your arms wrapped around him like a hug. It was your instinct to seek safety from him—Aemond was always the one to protect you, after all. In that moment your mind forgot that he was the one causing the pain and fear.
Aemond lowered down so his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. “Allow yourself to be mine,” he whispered.
You held him tighter.
Aemond knew he’d won.
His movements were less rough than the initial insertion. Now that he knew he wouldn’t have to force you completely, Aemond seemed to be gentler—but not gentle.
Slowly, your body began to accept him. It became easier for him to thrust into you. He murmured praises into your ear, but you hardly registered them as the pain subsided and a new sensation took its place.
There was a wetness forming between your legs that seemed to please your brother. “I knew you’d enjoy me,” he muttered, not hiding his ego.
“Wha-“
“Shh, darling,” Aemond said, pushing you down when you got curious. He buried his face into your neck and began to kiss your heated skin. “Just relax.”
You tried to do what he said, but it was hard. His pace picked up speed before it became steady. You laid beneath him, taking everything he had to give you.
Aemond pounded his cock into you, eliciting soft whimpers and moans from you. Suddenly, he angled his thrusts at a different angle and your toes curled. The pleasure was much greater and your whole body shook. The feeling of him inside you was becoming overwhelming.
The feeling of your cunt was something Aemond had dreamt about. Reality was so much better than his fantasies. You were wet and waiting, holding onto him for dear life, and allowing him to fuck you into bliss. The perfect sister—soon to be the perfect wife.
Nothing would ever compare to the feeling of you giving in and finally accepting him. Aemond had lifted his head briefly to stare down at you. He needed to drink this moment in. You were beautiful beneath him; your hair splayed out like a crown, the flush of your cheeks, your parted, kiss-swollen lips, and the sweet yet somehow still innocent look in your eyes as you met his eye.
“I shouldn’t have waited so long,” Aemond uttered under his breath. He deeply regretted not taking you sooner. Your tight walls began to clench around his cock and Aemond didn’t allow himself to falter.
“Aemond,” you whimpered out, unsure of what you were experiencing. He could hear your confusion. His movements seemed to be precise, hitting that same spot he found over and over again. A small, devious smile found its way onto his lips at your inexperience. He was going to give you your first orgasm and you didn’t even know what was happening.
Aemond kept thrusting into you, pushing you towards what he wanted from you. Your nails dug into his back as the tension in your belly finally snapped.
Your body tensed and a wave of intense, blinding pleasure crashed over you. A moan tore from you. Aemond slowed down as you tightened around him.
“That’s it, my love,” he purred in your ear. His voice was ragged after not speaking for so long.
You panted as the powerful pleasure began to subside. Aemond knew he made you feel good and the flush on your cheeks wasn’t only from exertion, but embarrassment.
“Don’t be ashamed,” Aemond implored. “That’s a part of fucking. You’re allowed to like it.”
Words completely failed you. You were reeling, and you didn’t know what to say either.
Aemond understood. “It’s alright,” he uttered softly, beginning to resume his old pace. “Again,” Aemond breathed out. “I want you to give me another one.” Another what? You didn’t know. But you felt limp in your brother's arms as he pulled the two of you upright.
Now you were in his lap, body spent, arms and head draped over his shoulders. You were still dizzy as Aemond began to pound his cock up into you. He could fuck you how he wanted now, as hard as he wanted. You were completely compliant.
Aemond was chasing his release now, but he wanted you to fall over that edge with him. He yanked your nightgown off of you above your head and you let him. It was then that you realized he was still clothed. You were entirely exposed to him while he kept himself covered.
It was a perfect display of the power dynamics between the two of you, but that thought slipped your mind as he found that spot inside you again.
You lost track of time and seemed to fade in and out as the pleasure blazed through you. Aemond cradling you against him. He was breathing roughly into your neck, his own being encompassed by the euphoria. He was so close, and he could feel that you were too.
Aemond thrust up into your pliant, waiting body one more time. His cock twitched inside of you as you pulsed around him. Then it happened. Aemond let out a deep moan as his seed spilled inside of you while you shuddered around him.
“You are divine,” Aemond groaned out, holding you close to him.
There were a few beats of silence and no movement. The only sound in the room was your and Aemond’s twin breaths.
Aemond pulled out of his satisfied haze first. He withdrew from you entirely and helped you to lay down.
You were physically and mentally exhausted. You hardly comprehended that Aemond even tucked you under your covers. His hand reached down to stroke through your hair as he admired your sleepy face. He smiled to himself, knowing he’d only have to wait a short time and then he’d have the most beautiful wife in all of Westeros.
Aemond sat on the edge of your bed, looking down at where your head rested on your pillow.
“You and I will be wed on the morrow,” he clued you in on his thoughts.
“They won’t let us marry,” you hummed tiredly. He knew that “they” meant Otto, the small council, and Alicent.
“They will,” he assured.
For the first time since he walked in your doors, Aemond had a plan that he was sure of. He looked down upon you as you drifted off, your eyes unable to stay open much longer. Before you drifted off, you made out his final words of the night clearly.
“And if anyone tries to interfere, Vhagar will be awaiting them.”
2K notes · View notes
yuri-is-online · 1 month
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TD anon here, I do feel you on the "torture" scene with Taiga, I didn't want my last ask getting any longer lmao.
While the scene definitely made me squeal, for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after with Romeo lmao. It's exactly how I felt with Frostheim too, being excited over the dance with Jin, and then immediately after we get the cigarette kiss scene with Jin and Tohma LOL. But it only makes sense, MC has only just showed up at the school, not enough time to bond, and honestly with these kinds of joseimuke games I don't have much expectations of interactions between the cast and MC so in TD she's already much more involved with the whole comic thing anyways.
Eating the Like Dove raw... was really a raw scene lol. He seems to be attracted to blood for some reason? Since he paused when MC's cut started bleeding, I think he was about to lick the blood tbh.
And yeah I do wonder if his shoddy memory has anything to do with his deal's cost. Another vibe theory time, I feel like his fear of the Like Dove might've been... ingrained in him somehow? Maybe he had a run-in before but can't remember it. The reason why I think this is because when MC met him alone, when she reminded him that she was the Honor student, his response was "Oh no wonder I didn't kill you on the spot", he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill.... if that makes sense?
He feels like an even bigger enigma than Towa, I'm curious to know what's going on in his head in the moments he goes eerily quiet. Not to mention he's the poster boy of the game, has to be a reason. Luca feels more in line to be the poster boy but it's Taiga...
I enjoyed Haru's drunk spiel about how helpful MC is lol. Also my eyes going wide when Rui said he wants to know what she's made of too... what does that mean....... I need more Rui content, I love his blatant flirtations lol. I got a campus event with Rui, Haru and Romeo in the bar before I even read the chapter, their unexpected friendship is very cute ngl.
(sorry in case this is sent repeatedly, smth wrong with my net atm)
Generally speaking I have found tumblr doesn't post or send things twice but it sure as hell reblogs them with the same tags 42 times making me look like some sort of freak
for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after
Yeah I get this. The cigarette kiss with Tohma and Jin took me off guard, but that was mostly because I thought this was an otome game? Come to think of it I don't think we've had confirmation of the whole joseimuke v otome game thing beyond the existence of the like dove and individual character affinity... Well and that when this was announced it was supposed to be an otome game. I know that the otome games subreddit has been having some, shall we say spirited? Discussions lately about how players feel about ros getting into relationships with each other. The general opinion was that a lot of times the ro x ro relationships feel more fleshed out that the ro x mc ones, and I agree. I actually stopped writing something I wanted to be an otome game because the story started shaping up to be more about the mc's mentor than them, and I personally do not think that is very fun. People do like laid back mcs, they do not like mcs who have no place in the narrative, and some writers aren't good at balancing that. TDB mc is doing pretty well when it comes to interactions with the main cast compared to something like Twisted Wonderland if what you want is explicit romance, so far it feels like Season 1 of og Obey Me! from what I remember of that game, so we'll see.
I didn't get the same level of intimacy from Romeo and Taiga as I did Jin and Tohma? But I think that's because in both cases I thought the like dove had appeared before Romeo got there and was talking to Taiga and the second scene made me think Taiga was angry at him for interrupting his "fun." Whatever that "fun" was going to wind up being because yeeeeeah he seems like he has a blood kink of some sort. I think he was going to suck on it and bite her a bit, but licking seems like a logical first step and less influenced by what's wrong with me. Like I said over here the scene with the Like Dove fascinates me... it says more about Taiga than any other character in the game that we get to see the dove twice and that when given the chance he shoots and eats it... if that isn't a metaphor for denial and emotional repression then I am not sure what is.
he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill…. if that makes sense?
YES. I wanted to talk about this but it sort of got into conspiracy theory territory and my answer was getting long. I don't know if anyone remembers, but waaaay back in Book 1 when mc tries to escape the school she isn't able to get anyone's attention. It's like they don't see her, is that because of her curse or is it because of preventative measures put in place by the school? I want to lean towards the latter because it makes more sense BUT I also want to be delusional and say that it's part of mc's curse. There's something about Taiga's instinctual fear of the Like Dove and his comments to the mc that make me think his body knows her but his paranoia and memory issues keep him from knowing it.
This is just me writing fan fic... but Taiga is technically the first ghoul you meet. He is the poster boy of the game, he is the first person to bring mc into the main loop and tell her there's a spy. I want so badly for him to have known her at some point but to have been robbed of his memories... Romeo seems to think he is trying to forget stuff on purpose "gone off the deep end" and "escape reality" are both things he says to describe him though granted that last one was due to a misunderstanding about what Taiga was trying to do with the anomaly. Something real bad happened last year, something I feel like Taiga doesn't want to acknowledge unless he can get revenge on whoever caused it. I mentioned in another post, but I sort of want MC to have something to do with Clementia and that's why she's there at the dorm beyond it just being empty due to the clash. (I do get why Luca isn't the poster boy; he's not a dorm captain and those seem to be what the game wants to push. well them and towa lol)
Haru and Rui
Rui is a bar tender who is described as being "popular with the female students" probably because of how flirty he is ha. I love his dynamic with Haru and Romeo, just a barman and his two favorite customers shooting the shit and trying to relax. Rui is cursed to kill whoever he touches, so I think he wants to talk with MC more because he can relate to her in a very unique way. And he got gate kept from doing so by Haku in book one so he's extra curious now. I have his SR so I'll put him on my homescreen for a bit and see what voice lines I can shake out of him. For the little bit I did have him there he called him and mc "curse twins" which I thought was very cute. In a dark sort of way. The entire section at the Obscuary bar endeared me to all three of those idiots.
But especially Haru. He called Peekaboo his child this chapter too ;-; he's such a good dad. I wonder if he is going to show up next books at all? Or if it's going to be like the previous books and we'll instead see Taiga and maaaaybe Towa? Since he's friends with Zenji. Nothing to do but wait for May 0-0
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bones4thecats · 7 months
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2023 Halloween Special; TWST
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A/N: Part 2 of the Halloween Specials, my special announcement in regardance to my Request Form will be posted later today, enjoy~~
Their Favorite Thing To Do With Their S/O During Halloween
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🧁 Trey loves baking year round, and during Halloween, he would decorate the pastries in special frosting in themes of pumpkins, ghosts, witches, etc.
🧁 But spending this year with you? He doubled down on it all.
🧁 This vice housewarden definitely does candy corn bingo with Riddle whenever he was done with his duties
🧁 And it was quite funny watching as you spun the cage, seeing them both sweating since they both needed different numbers to win
🧁 Trey also enjoys going outside and trimming the roses with you, since they did it year round, but seeing you munching on a treat he made got him smiling
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🐍 This Viper boy loves to test new recipes of pumpkin or other squashes during the spooky holiday
🐍 He never really had to do many things in regards to Kalim before attending NRC, as his family had the day specially planned for him
🐍 But when they came here, he basically has to watch him constantly, but with you by his side, it’s easier to enjoy
🐍 Jamil has helped Kalim plan his costumes every year, and when you came into the dorm wearing the kitsune outfit, he blushed and hide himself in the kitchen until you ranted on how cute he was
🐍 That reminds me, cider.
🐍 He loves making cider with you, doesn’t matter what apple or whatever else it used, he makes it taste good
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🏹 Our hunter boy here adores doing anything in regards to Halloween
🏹 You wanna go to the pumpkin patch to find a certain squash to carve? Okay.
🏹 Wanna go to a haunted house? Yes, he wants to see the gorgeous costumes and makeup!
🏹 This guy literally doesn’t care where you go and can find the beauty in anything
🏹 Like watching a horror movie like Saw? He finds something so minor and rants about it forever, successfully distracting you from it all
🏹 But, he really enjoys corn mazes, or rather, watching people do them, he always wins in the end, they’re easy for him, he has an amazing sense of direction, but seeing people struggle remembering directions makes him laugh
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🍎 Anything that has to do with apples and Epel loves doing it
🍎 His family always made apple pies, drinks, and just anything in general, since they normally had so many leftover from that year’s harvest
🍎 When his grandmother sent him a box of amazing fresh apples, he smiled and went to the school’s kitchen to make treats with you, we don’t want Vil getting mad at a mess again, huh
🍎 Epel mainly makes ciders and cobblers, which was something he always remembers how to do on the top of his head
🍎 It’s quite impressive how amazing of a baker this guy is
🍎 The treats always end amazingly, ngl
🍎 Epel also enjoys costumes, but he also complains on how ‘girly’ the Pomefiore’s looks on him
🍎 This guy needs more confidence in his manliness
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🦁 This lion, oh sweet Seven
🦁 Leona doesn’t really do much when it comes to the holidays, but Halloween, he considers doing some things
🦁 Scaring his dorm members is something kinda fun
🦁 But watching you dress up in a pirate’s outfit like him made him quite flustered, though he is good at hiding it
🦁 Leona enjoys doing Halloween-themed bingo with you or Ruggie, as he normally wins by watching the board, his pieces, and hearing the numbers spectacularly
🦁 For someone as lazy as him, he’s quite fun to spend the day with
🦁 He doesn’t enjoy trick-or-treating very much because he normally has to take Cheka, but having you there made him more bearable
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beautifulpersonpeach · 11 months
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BPP, sorry if you've answered this question before but what is your best song from Face?
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Hi @tabbypuppykitty
I’ve had a rethink. I think Face-off is now my favourite song on the album.
Set Me Free Pt 2 is still top 3, but Jimin’s enunciation on Face-off brings a smile to my face every time I hear it because that man is too damn sassy for his own good lool.
In the latest Suchwita episode, Hobi revealed that Jimin practiced live singing six hours everyday before and during FACE promotions.
Six hours. Every day.
That made me pause. I started thinking about everything that happened during FACE. I don't talk about this at all here because I won't ever share personal pictures and I know I was incredibly lucky and many other people here likely deserved to see him before I did, but I saw Jimin live during his very first shows for FACE.
He was so happy. The joy on his face and the way he worked the crowd... like a fish in water. He gave some of the best performances of the year during FACE promotions. The whole project and the thoughtful way he went about promoting the album, is noteworthy.
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(You should watch this if you haven't already)
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But then I remembered the BS, the way k-pop stans reacted to the album, to the MVs, to the encore stage, the way BTS akgaes indulged in their sociopathy on his account, how BigHit failed (the anger Jimin biases feel is justified but some of y'all are wallowing in it). I remembered a few of Jimin's Wlives, how so much has been going on for him this year, and then tried to fit 6 hours daily practicing into it...
I have to stop myself when I think about Jimin. He has such latent intensity, like a glamour, a force field around him... it's like a black hole that sucks everything, including you, into him and his world. It scares me.
I know I whine about Jimin biases but y'all amaze me ngl. It takes a special fortitude of heart to bias Jimin. This post already sounds incredibly effusive, but I don't believe I'm exaggerating when I say he's a truly beautiful person. It's almost as though the world does not deserve him. It's impossible to not love him, desire him, care for him... want more sooner for him. I see all that, but I also see that man is stubborn as fuck.
He took his time to start work on his solo album. The middle of the Vegas concerts is when he said he suddenly came to his senses, shook himself out of that trance, and earnestly started putting together the FACE project. He'd written songs before, but FACE was its own thing. The personal stories he chose to communicate, the care in lyricism and production, the quality... Jimin created art in FACE and trusted that those who care for nothing but the best, will love it.
That's sexy, but the way he went about it also betrays a conservatism in him. It's a shadow of the edge in him, that thing about him that causes a tinge of anxiety when you watch him too closely.
I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but what I mean to say is you need a special kind of courage to bias and love Jimin. I recognize that. When I write what I do here, I always remember that. I also have very little respect for solos. And those two sentiments aren't mutually exclusive.
But taking it back to Face-off, my favourite thing about it is Jimin's sense of humour and skill coming through in the song, as well as how he enunciates his words. To really hear the switch in his tone, you need to stream in this order:
Like Crazy > Alone > Set Me Free Pt 2 > Face-off
By the time you get to Face-off, Jimin's voice has already gone through every variation possible, but then he brings out a tone I've heard only one other artist do well (Rihanna), and that tone is disgust.
Pure, refined sass. And he's already got the sauciest voice in k-pop.
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The melodic and tonal choices Jimin makes at these timestamps fucks with my head:
1:53 - 2:08;
2:16 - 2:25;
2:41 - 2:56....
(lol, at this rate you might as well just listen to the whole song again.) Jimin is fantastic in the whole thing.
Europe is where Jimin belongs, but America would eat Jimin up too. The country already does if we're being real, America already loves Jimin. But given the right concept, Jimin would devour because he always does, and the world should get to see it. I hope I get to see more of it. As I've said before, if you feel inclined to communicate that to BigHit, I strongly suggest you do.
During Suchwita, Hobi showed how he's planned content for fans almost years in advance. It's possible Jimin does this too, planning music and content for fans to see months later... (So we might not learn why he went to London, for months...)
Yeah... I don't have the strength of heart to bias Jimin. Good luck to y'all.
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...that was kind of a lot lool. So to calm down, Jimin:
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Anyway, sorry I rambled. Face-off is a really good song and Jimin did an excellent job on it. The whole project is very good so I can't wait for the next songs we get from him. Shit can't get worse than BB deleting D2C sales so on the bright side, we can only go up from here, and for Jimin who already owns the record as the first soloist in history to debut #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, up will be a good spot to be.
Stream Like Crazy, Seven, All Day, and HUH?!
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catnatch · 2 months
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another souyo fic rec list!
this one is exclusively for fics that have never made it off the badbadbathouse/livejournal (to my knowledge/memory). I have my big ass list of every single souyo fill, but this one is curated with summaries, so hopefully it'll be useful to new p4 fans or anyone who doesn't know where to start with p4 on lj!
(these are all from bbbh, so the main post text for all these will be somewhat suggestive, but I will separate sfw fics from nsfw)
SFW fics!
Sunday, 7:43: I've mentioned before but my absolute fav P4 fic <3 even the prompt is the sweetest: a ficcy about the precise moment Yousuke realizes he's in love
Domesticity: Yosuke gets a gray hair :^)
Name That Tune: after Yosuke gives him a mixtape, Souji surprises him with the song he likes the most-- it goes exactly where you think but the buildup is still so good :') this one I feel like I did see on AO3 but I can't find it again if it is
The Frog in the Well (or, Yosuke and the wind.): character study of Yosuke's connection to his element (okay not so souyo but it's got such fantastic use of language...)
Sick Day: good old fashioned sick fic :') actually more of a ensemble fic rather than purely souyo, and the peeks of characterization therein are choice [warnings for vomit]
Cook the Food, Not the Kitchen: teaching the IT to cook- another ensemble fic! but souji def has plans for Yosuke in this one ;) unfinished but very amusing nonetheless
Façade: in order to go out on a public date, Souji elects to disguise as a girl. i like fics where they work thru their issues... but it's still quite fluffy! this one miiiight be on AO3 or ffn
One Way to Start the Morning: Yukiko and Yosuke talk about being in love with their best friends... as much as Yosuke can admit it anyway. realistically awkward but genuine Yosuke and Yukiko friendship, hooray! [warnings for one use of slur]
Whisperwind: Yosuke gains telepathic powers and it's too much (a sorta Carrie au). very surreal but well done horror fic (there is souyo but as you can imagine, it doesn't end well) [no smut but it is very gory so think maybe R? instead of NC-17; major character death]
Contact: souyo's relationship through touch. wonderful sense of tension and space throughout this fic, and i love viewing their progression thru one specific lens
Breaking Up is Hard To Do: Yosuke confesses... the night before Souji leaves. once again the genre is souyo/working on their issues. excellent, naturalistic dialog and not too angsty...
[untitled]: souyo told purely from other character's perspectives. unfortunately unfinished; we really need more outside pov fics !
A Special Report: "I like my women like my coffee" ngl rec-ing purely for Souji's answer ;D (nothing explicit but as u can expect from the prompt, suggestive jokes abound) also sports club trio ftw!!
NSFW fics below cut!
Play Time: Souji likes Yosuke's dick- even outside of sex! i am SUCH a big fan of casual, almost boring intimacy. adult in the best way, funny and so so domestic
The Last Breath We Take: sometime after Yosuke dies, Souji is sure he's being haunted. more bittersweet than outright sad :') (also the nsfw is very indirect and light) [warnings for major character death]
A Night Like This: Yosuke's dad finds out Yosuke's dating Souji and does not take it well. Yosuke isn't a complete pushover (but he is still a sad boy) so that's refreshing! [warnings for abuse]
Bruise My Head: Souji gets a bit fat and meets up with Yosuke years after. flashbacks (one is the short nsfw in this fic) are interspersed in this future fic, and it's an interesting examination how they might change and what stays the same (and how there's always something to work on) [warnings for eating disorders + brief self harm mention]
Technique: Yosuke totally knows what a blowjob is. totally. (smut that doesn't go perfectly >>>>>)
Its a Hard Life: Yosuke falls on hard times, becoming a prostitute and gets a regular who looks very familiar (it's Souji's dad). listen, I'm not gonna pretend that this one isn't carried by pure DRAMA and whump [warnings for dubcon + noncon]
Unfortunate Timing: souyo are having phone sex when Nanako has the WORST timing. Souji's dilemma is supremely entertaining, and we love bratty!Yosuke [warnings for Nanako? she's not a part of/aware of the sex per se but she's in the vicinity if that squicks you out]
Experience: Kanji learns a thing or two from established souyo. the Kanji pov is an interesting angle to view souyo and how well they work together [warnings for dp]
I HAVE NO DUNGEON, AND I MUST TROLL!: Yosuke has a personal blog- very personal- that starts getting hate from one anonymous Souji. this fic is unique for presenting the lj/comments true to life and there's a lovely floaty style to the offline sections; this fic is also an interesting look into Jerkji, who we don't see often in fan characterization anymore [warnings for manipulative!Souji; eating disorders (adjacent); dubcon; suicidal actions]
and finally Sympathy Crime even though pretty much everyone already knows about it AKA the fic where Adachi manipulates Yosuke into a relationship and it takes a tole on the investigation. heed the warnings of abuse, rape, torture, and suicidal thoughts/attempts seriously as the fic goes in depth to depict these, the horrifying effects, and then recovery. It does not pull any punches. The fic really understands how anyone can be susceptible to abuse and how important a support system/lack thereof is. It is incredibly well written- and that is in part because it has a message about horrendous acts of abuse. Additionally, it's a 200k+ (i think) word read so it is A Lot. Sympathy Crime is 100% not for everyone, but if you think you can tolerate reading the subject matter, there is a reason why this is a monolithic fic in P4 fandom history
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oodlyenough · 1 month
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Regarding how long it took Trucy to call Phoenix "Papa". I think the better question is how long did it take for her to actually mean it. Same for Phoenix genuinely thinking of Trucy as his daughter and not a little kid he needed to help and take care of
Well, see, that's kind of the trajectory I expected to begin with -- how many years into those 7 was it before she started seeing him as "dad" enough to say it, etc. I didn't expect the game to have an answer to that and had speculated about what that might've been like only for the game to give... a pretty unsatisfactory (imo) canon answer.
But you're right, saying it VS meaning it are still different things. I don't have any specific timeframe in mind but I imagine it happened faster with Phoenix, because I think (and he says as much in canon) he really latched onto Trucy and that relationship post-disbarment, and also Phoenix is a pretty ... emotionally intense dude who needs to be needed. It's easy for me to imagine him focusing all his emotional energy on Trucy and getting super invested very quickly.
Trucy I find it much harder to speculate about because I don't think the game gives us a good sense of her interiority. I got the impression throughout 4 that she was keeping plenty of secrets (another post I've been thinking about: how much did she know in 4-1 because my impression is "everything") and so I feel like I can only guess at what she was thinking. She's unreasonably chipper in that first scene with Phoenix, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in assuming it's largely for show. Maybe she felt she had to put on a show for Phoenix so he'd keep her around, in which case how long was it before she let that drop for the first time, and how long before she naturally thought of him first for comfort/etc instead of Zak... 🤔 I don't know but I would imagine it took her longer than Phoenix.
In general I wish 4 had given us more of them interacting together and more genuine moments. Phoenix says at the end that he's the only one who knows how she really feels, which I totally believe (again she seems like she's performing, even to Apollo) and I like the idea of them as this tight knit and sort of... secretive little unit, a double act. But we don't get to see it in action much and a lot of the references to him Trucy makes are just played for laughs or to make Apollo even more suspicious of him.
I also think Trucy looking up to/missing/wanting to emulate the Gramaryes is understandable but interesting vs Phoenix knowing they're a toxic murder polycule and wanting to shield her from that without (presumably) wanting to disillusion her. Also fandom lied to me about older Trucy's costume being blue because of Phoenix, it's Thalassa's costume 😭 which made me sad for him ngl... another fic idea among many.
This got really long and mostly off topic sorry lol, I've been rotating Trucy and Phoenix in my head since starting AA4 and, like most things in AA4, there's so much cool stuff to extrapolate on that canon just kinda... suggests without ever diving into. Much to think about
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