#this motherfucker loves stealing horses
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modern au but the gang waking up in modern day in the order they died with memories of their lives as outlaws:
bessie motherfucking matthews being the one that rounds them up. she's a professor at a university teaching women's history and owns a little cottage on the outskirts of town, and uses newspaper articles to try and plot out who/where someone will 'wake up'
sean was the first VDL she successfully found. davey and mac somehow found each other and got themselves incarcerated for armed robbery before she got them.
sean adapts almost instantly and loves the chaos of modern day cities: car horns, fluorescent lights, night clubs, television (fuck you lenny reading is for nerds!!). he steals a bike he calls ennis II and gets a job delivering pizzas
she finds hosea and lenny next. it's a very emotional reunion. she starts calling lenny her son. hosea spends at least a week refusing to let his wife out of his sight because he has to be dreaming, kisses and adores her at every opportunity. their dates are her teaching him to drive a car
lenny takes less than a day to figure out computers and takes over the locate the VDLs project. he has what is effectively a murder wall of colored yarn and push pins trying to figure out when and where the next person will appear. manages to cyber-stalk down jenny, who being as breathtakingly clever as she is figured out the present all by herself and works in a diner. she comes over for dinner twice a week
retracing the gang's steps they find kieran, who is doing fabulously not well. he's been homeless for a month, got hit by a car and is very, very distraught by not only the memories of his torture after being taken by o'driscolls but the fact he betrayed the gang by talking. bessie matthews, mother to all, introduces him to noise cancelling headphones, gardening, and horse girl movies.
lenny: hey i've been doing some research and i think most of us have this thing called ptsd????
when hosea and bessie want to have a nice, quiet romantic dinner by themselves they put sensory videos on the tv and all the boys just sit there silently
#rdr2 modern au#bessie matthews#hosea matthews#sean macguire#lenny summers#kieran duffy#rdr2 timewarp au
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🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
22 hr. ago
I had the weirdest dream last night?!!
I don’t even remember what happened, all I remember was this voice at the end: “You CAN’T trust him. He probably just wants you to draw his stupid horse.” What?!? I follow people who draw horses! I like horses! Why are they being attacked in this way?
🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
1 min. ago
It was a premonition.
#sir. #i cannot draw your horse #i can’t draw at all actually #please commission an artist #id in alt text #irl source
( 11 notes )
🪡 niffty-lady Follow
1 hr. ago
gotta love knitting needles. i can make a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens.
🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow
1 hr. ago
What was that middle part?
🪡 niffty-lady Follow
46 min. ago
i can make a hat
#irl source
( 2,030 notes )
📻 real-radio-demon Follow
1 hr. ago
Any Overlord dead after 1940 can’t make quality entertainment. All they know is WcDonalds, recycled content, planned obsolescence, be bisexual, eat voot loops, and lie.
📺 voxblr4k Follow
49 min. ago
Fight me irl you fake ass motherfucker! I can’t suspend your account but I can kick your ass!
📻 real-radio-demon Follow
49 min. ago
I don’t believe you can do either of those things, Vox :)
#real radio demon broadcasts #irl source
( 21,536 notes )
🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
3 hr. ago
i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!
🌕 m00nlight-h0wling Follow
50 min. ago
Area Man Who Has "Had Enough" Wakes Up Next Morning at 6:30 AM to Commute to Work Again
#irl source
( 8 notes )
📺 voxblr4k Follow
52 min. ago
The fucking fake Alastor account stole my joke!!1!
📺 voxblr4k Follow
51 min. ago
Son of a bitch his post has more notes than mine!
#un-fucking-believable #he should be hiding in shame like the real alastor #but he’s out here stealing my fucking posts??? #fuck this fuck this fuck this
( 149 notes )
🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
1 hr. ago
What should I get at international hellhouse of pancakes?
🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
1 hr. ago
alright
#id in alt text #irl source
( 12 notes )
⚪️ Anonymous said
isn’t it disrespectful to write fics about someone you killed irl?
🪡 niffty-lady Follow
Jul 3
I have no respect for Adam. Hope this helps! <3
🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow
2 hr. ago
can’t believe Niffty managed to Kill Adam a second time
💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow
2 hr. ago
#niffty lady #adam
( 210,749 notes )
📺 voxblr4k Follow
2 hr. ago
any overlord dead before 1940 can't use modern tech… all they know is radio, make shitty dad jokes, smile, be asexual, eat people, and lie.
#shitposting in 4k #vagueposting in 4k #irl source
( 11,191 notes )
💥 blitz-the-o-is-silent Follow
5 hr. ago
Look at this shit-ass sine we found in the living world
🩸 simply-moxxie Follow
4 hr. ago
[Image Description: A sign for Lucama Global Methodist Church; Those who eat the Devil’s corn will choke on his cob! // End Image Description]
And it’s spelled, “sign,” sir.
🫀 xoxo-millie Follow
4 hr. ago
country boys make do
#thanks for the id Moxx #irl source
( 69 notes )
⬜️ voxblr-meta Follow
5 hr. ago
Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost
#meta #fake tumblr dash
( 14 notes )
#unreality cw#id in alt text#and#id in caption#suggestive#fake tumblr dash#fanby’s fuckery#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#moxxie helluva boss#blitzo#angel dust#alastor#vox hazbin hotel#niffty#charlie morningstar#millie helluva boss#loona helluva boss#striker helluva boss#crymini
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Doing the little romantic things for their s/o
Anon asked: Welcome to the rdr2 community!! May I get some fluff hc for Arthur Charles and John? Them just doing the little romantic things for their s/o? Thank you ♥️
rdr2 masterlist
Omg yes and thank you! I hope you like these, anon!
These are probably on the shorter side since it’s the first request and first time writing them!
Originally published on January 10, 2020
Arthur, Charles, John x Reader (Gender-neutral/nonbinary)
Warnings: Just Fluff
Arthur Morgan
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Romance isn’t his strongest suit but when he tries it is so dang obvious to everyone
He goes out of his way to make sure you know how much you mean to him
You get extra servings off his own plate
If you feel like someone is watching you- It’s him and he will do it straight-on, no shame at all
Sends you that small charming smile that makes your knees all weak
He’d be the doting wife everyone hears about
I’m not kidding either, he’ll act like he’s not or that something you want is a hassle but don’t worry, he’ll get it for you
He’d be the one to oil your guns without you asking
If you’re the type that needs to hear it, he’ll say he loves you
If not, it should be said all through his actions
Since he’s not one well for words- all the little things will be through awkward but sweet, sweet, gestures and materials
Charles Smith-
The motherfucking King of romance
He likes to be near his partner at all times
Even if he’s one for silence he’ll love to listen to your voice
He’s the hand-holder, he’ll want to hold your hand all the time
He doesn’t keep his eye on you all the time but it surely relaxes him whenever he sees you
He’ll pick flowers and plants for you first thing in the morning
Looks after your horse when you can’t
1000% takes you on nature rides just to be in your presence in peace
If you don’t know how to hunt he’ll teach you the basics and watch as you grow to be a better hunter
He doesn’t go to sleep until you do
He’ll always be willing to teach you or learn from you
Since he’s already a hard worker around camp, he’ll try and do your chores too
Will always profess his love before missions
John Marston-
He probably has some kind of PTSD from his relationship with Abigail ngl so he’ll be more like Arthur
He’s not sure what to do or how to act like but he’ll always keep an eye out for you
Makes sure you are stocked with ammo/knives just to be on the safe side
Gets you only the best jewelry/watches he manages to steal
He is not good with words so he’ll relay his love to you through actions
Always cracks a joke with you- especially if he knows it’s not your day
If you ask him for something poor boy would probably ask a million questions out of habit with Abigail but he’ll get it for you in a heartbeat
Use a gentle tone with him- He’ll be so soft and gentle with you
Most of his affection will be shown while you’re asleep, he’ll play with your hair, caress your face, make sure you aren’t too cold or too hot- It’s just easier for him
#softrozene writes#rdr2 x reader#arthur morgan x reader#charles smith x reader#john marston x reader#rdr2#fanfiction#rdr2 fanfic#headcanons#rdr2 headcanons#gender-neutral reader#nonbinary reader#fluff
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20 COPIES OF THIS IN EVERY REBLOGGABLE FORM SO HER AND HER CRONIES CAN'T MISS IT
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup she just came in and tried to spam a bunch of random things and be normal Which on its own? Almost ok but this bitch wants to pretend she's a motherfucking mystic and charges people for it
She also managed to obsess about avatar again during this, and a crow playing in snow out of season. AND THIS GEM
THEN FUCKING DO IT AND BE PUBLICLY HONEST YOU FUCKING SCARLET LYING ABUSIVE WHORE. IF YOU THINK YOU AND MARK CAN WORK THROUGH IT THEN JUST FUCKING GET OVER IT AND DO IT ALREADY
SO YEAH HER BLOG IS STILL COVERED IN INDUCED ROT WHILE SHE TRIES TO BE NORMAL AND SPAM CUTE BIRD PICS. ZERO FUCKING MYSTIC COMMENTS EVEN DURING ONE OF THE MOST MYSTICALLY ACTIVE NIGHTS IN 20 YEARS. FAKE. FAKE FAKE FAKE. FRAUD MISS CLEO PIECE OF SHIT STEALING MY SHIT AND CHARGING PEOPLE. ANYWAY I'M AWAKE ARE MY IMAGES BACK
yes they ARE and anyway, love seeing exactly when i sleep and wake up
bitch posts that fucking thing about working on it together motherfucking unironically. motherfuck. fucking motherfuck I don't have other words. Absolutely motherfucking WHAT? The entire reason you haven't fully hopped off this shit and let me play in your frozen atohallan of a head like a crow in the snow in SPRING, is because you don't actually believe that, like you don't actually believe in ANYTHING you put on your fucking blog.
I AIN'T LETTING GO OF THIS SHIT UNTIL YOU LET GO OF ME BITCH. I HAD LET IT ALL GO BUT YOU JERKED YOUR WAY OFF BACK INTO MY LIFE AND IT'S NOT FUCKING HAPPENING AGAIN YOU UNRESTRICTED PIECE OF BREATHING TRASH
take the FUCKING CLUE IN GENERAL AND LET THIS SHIT GO. LET ME GO. LET THE PAST GO. WORK ON IT. IF YOU DON'T THINK MARK WILL DUMP YOU FOR ALL THE LIES AND MANIPULATION OF EVEN HIM YOU'VE DONE, AND IF YOU CAN FACE HIM HAVING LED YOU INTO THIS PIT OF HORSE SHIT FOR HIS OWN GAIN, THEN MOTHERFUCKING DO IT ALREADY AND STOP YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!
i am NOT ACCEPTING YOU TRYING TO QUIETLY SLINK OFF, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT, YOU FUCKING CRACKHEAD PIECE OF STALKER SHIT, BECAUSE UNTIL I KNOW YOU'VE COMPLETELY FUCKING FIXED THIS SHIT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO KEEP COMING BACK TO FUCK ME UP LIKE YOU HAVE FOR **TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AND THREE, AND SIX MONTHS, AND NOW**. FUCKING NO. YOU'RE GONNA SAY IT AND FIX YOUR LIES ON MAIN FOR EVERYONE YOU'VE FUCKED UP ABOUT HIM WITH YOUR DELUSIONAL ROLEPLAY JERKOFFS YOU CALL MAGIC CRYING INTO MY OLD AND NEW ROMANCE PLAYLISTS.
YOU ARE GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING TURN AROUND, AND GO BACK, AND LEARN RIGHT IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HIM OR FRANKLY ANYONE AT ALL BEYOND SLAPPING REBLOG AND PUTTING CANDY IN YOUR FACE. NO MORE DOUBLING DOWN IN REVERSE IN THE WRONG FUCKING DIRECTION.
stop defending you changing his gender behind the cut, you piece of shit. You are literally arguing against one of hermes' seven rules with your post about henry behind the cut, you lying piece of fraud trash. HE HAS SEVEN AXIOMS AND YOU FUCKED THEM UP BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OF THEM.
PUT THAT IN HUMAN, SEE HOW THAT SOUNDS. NO, YOU DON'T GET TO GO 'BUT THEY NOT HUMAN' IF YOU PRETEND TO HAVE EVER KNOWN HERMES, YOU FUCKING LYING TERF PIECE OF MISS CLEO SHIT.
bitch DEADASS BROKE OUT THE TERF/ANTI TRANS CHROMOSOME THING AS HER REASON AND CAN'T EVEN FUCKING SEE IT BECAUSE SHE'S THAT FUCKED UP, OFF, AND IN.
nonono shea. Look at mark and say, "Only XX chromosome humans get periods so I WILL use female pronouns." and see how that goes over. Again, no, you don't get to say BUT BIRD. Birds defy gender convention often, some of the most often in the animal kingdom, and that bird still grew up getting called and being happy with masculine names, pronouns, nicknames, that he identified the world through, and you're just gonna terf into changing it because some bullshit about CHROMOSOMES even though Hermes teaches GENDER IN EVERYTHING, NOT JUST PEOPLE. Fucking fraud harlot terf piece of shit. Abusive fucking stalker.
Here, I'll motherfucking help your trash ass, and you'll realize you read this years ago and you marked it under Unimportant Details. I'll even highlight the ones you've either violated or proven yourself ignorant to the last month.
The principle of mentalism "The All is Mind; the Universe is Mental."
The principle of correspondence "As above, so below; as below, so above.” […] This principle embodies the truth that there is always a correspondence between the laws and phenomena of the various planes of being and life. (YOU KEEP PRETENDING ALL EVENTS ARE RANDOM AND ARBITRARY EVEN WHEN DECLARED OR WITH A CONSISTENT PLOT)
The principle of vibration "Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates." (ARGUABLY YOU'RE IGNORING THIS WHILE I MUSIC MAGIC YOU INTO THE VOID)
The principle of polarity "Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled." Wet and dry, cold and hot. (PEANUT FUCKING BUTTER)
The principle of rhythm "Everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates." The swing of the pendulum. (ALSO PEANUT FUCKING BUTTER. your self admitted disjointed pendulum too. )
The principle of cause and effect "Every cause has its effect; every effect has its cause; everything happens according to law; chance is but a name for law not recognized; there are many planes of causation, but nothing escapes the law." (AGAIN YOU KEEP PRETENDING THIS IS ALL RANDOM AND NO RULES APPLY TO YOU)
The principle of gender "Gender is in everything; everything has its masculine and feminine principles; gender manifests on all planes." (YOUR WEIRD CHROMOSOME BASED TRANSPHOBIC SHIT YOU'RE DEFENDING)
OH??? THEY'RE THE RULES THE XORVINTAAL WAS BASED ON? I KNOW YOU WERE DISTRACTED BECAUSE I MADE THAT CHARACTER UNFUCKABLE BUT YOU'D REALLY THINK YOU UNDERSTOOD BY NOW THAT NOTHING I DO IS RANDOM. NOW REBLOG ME ANOTHER KION IN THE VOID ABYSS OF HIS RESOLUTION OF BEING THE ONE WITHOUT SEEING IT AGAIN.
fake ass piece of shit channeling my dick for years, sobbing into our old playlists, mixing in my new ones, and lying to everyone around you for motherfucking years while you charge them for your own un-therapy.
Bitch i'm not motherfucking kidding, you are literally only this fucked up because you fell in love with a magus, betrayed him at the tough part (several times actually! I was almost here 11 years ago until you fucked me up! hence everything being stuck in an echo loop you're pretending not to see between here and there!), and refuse to fucking comprehend what being the magus is, or what the path was ever about the entire fucking time. so now you're trying to stalk, roleplay, hump, and groom other people into a way back into my life while shaking my shadows and refusing to accept that's what's going on.
I DONT KNOW IF YOU HAVE MOTHERFUCKING NOTICED, STARLIGHT, BUT WE ARE, IN FACT, LITERALLY OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING RAILS UNTIL YOU FIX YOUR ABSOLUTE DELUSIONAL HORSE SHIT AND FACE YOURSELF AND SPEAK THE TRUTH.
NEVER THOUGHT I'D MEET A HUMAN SHAPED LANDFILL, THEN I MET THE GRAND NIECE OF HITLER, WHO WAITED TO INFORM ME OF THAT DETAIL FOR A DECADE UNTIL A FEW YEARS AFTER I MOVED IN WITH HER. LIKE 'OH BY THE WAY WE GET TO INHERIT HITLER'S SHIT MY PARENTS HAVE IT IN THE ATTIC' WHAT THE FUCK.
youtube
Just like you only Perform religion and spirituality, you only Perform trans allyship. You don't really support Mark for being trans. You met Mark in a disassociated digital form that came in as male to you for the most part. You refused to divide me from my external sex and insisted I kept shoving my gender, identity, spirituality and everything in a motherfucking box for you to play with like a ken doll, and the second I was withdrawing it for a mix of realizing you were full of shit, dangerous to both of us, and me working 60-70 hours a week to support your habits, you motherfucking ran off to throw me out the door. And then sat there in a void of absence of everything you wanted. And started wearing my shadow like a fucking scarf.
NO MEANS NO, SHEALYN. AND DRAWING THIS ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKING BOUNDARY REGARDLESS OF IGNORANT WHINY FANS OR CRONIES OF YOURS SPAMMING MY INBOX or STUPIDASS FEAR OF LOSING NONSENSE FOLLOWERS, IS THE MOST LIBERATING FUCKING THING I'VE EVER FUCKING DONE, SO LET US FUCKING GO.
you LITERALLY cannot parasitically attach to my path with him and pick up from there, that is LITERALLY the motherfucking opposite of how this works. You wanna know him? Turn around, go back to at least 2012 like you were doing a few weeks ago before you panicked and doubled down backwards again because you DON'T trust your ability to work it out with Mark, and fucking learn him yourself, and find yourself. Yourself is already screaming at you though, and as your cheap piece of cowardly shit ass does, you ran from that too, but it's still chasing you.
ALL THE WAY BITCH!! NO HALF!! WTF IS HALF!!! I EVEN ASKED YOU THAT THROUGH GNOSIS GUY THAT TALKED ABOUT PROTECTING MY D WITH MICHAEL'S FLAMING SWORD BEFORE YOU FUCKED UP AND TRIED TO SUMMON MICHAEL, AND BEFORE YOU MET THE AIR JORDAN GUY THAT GOT SHOT AND HAD HIS COLLECTION STOLEN YOU TRIED TO GO HALF ON AND THOUGHT YOU WERE THE FUCKING BENEFACTOR ON THE FULL MOON NIGHT I DECLARED A MANIFESTATION ON AND YOU SAID WAS WEIRD ENERGY. YOU HEARD 'AIR JORDANS' BECAUSE USHER WAS IN TARTARUS AT THE BIG GAME, YOU DENSE ASS PIECE OF SHIT. HE BROUGHT CUSTOM AIR JORDANS.
it was a whole ass thing!!! so the collective gave it to you as motherfucking air jordans on my FUCKING ghost.
even in your MOTHERFUCKING ROLEPLAY GAMES YOU PRETENDED YOU COULD CONVERT TO SPIRITUAL CHANNELING, SHEALYN.
COYOTE TOLD CRYSTAL THE ENTIRE TIME.
YOU DO NOT WANT THIS. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME. I CAN GIVE YOU SECURITY AND A PLACE TO STAY BUT THIS WILL NOT LAST. HE AND I WROTE A WHOLEASS SONG ABOUT IT. AND BOTH THAT SONG AND THE CURRENT ONE THROUGH THE UNIVERSE IS MOTHERFUCKING FOR **YOU** GARFIELD.
YOU MAY BE ABLE TO GROOM A BIRD WITH THE INTELLIGENCE CAP OF A TWO YEAR OLD INTO LOVING YOU, BUT YOU CANNOT FORCE ME INTO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE.
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demon copperhead, pt. 2.
dialogue prompts from demon copperhead by barbara kingsolver.
i was born to wish for more than i can have.
there's a shoe out there for every foot.
it's important to leave home and take a look around.
i could be very rich if i decide to extort.
i wonder how it would feel to like who you are.
old homecoming queens never die.
who died and left you boss?
sorry to say your secret is out.
i'm gonna see bad spray tans in my nightmares.
nobody rides you like you ride yourself.
i used to think i knew what hurt was.
i don't like owing anybody.
i didn't fully believe you'd come.
i've got a surprise for you later.
does some law say we all turn into our parents?
half of me is sorry. the other half isn't.
don't look for money to buy your life back.
before we were us, we weren't anything.
you look like a plaid pillow.
i thought i knew it all, in those days.
people find more ways to shut up their monsters than a bible has verses.
let's go steal a tree.
the tall weed gets cut.
a kid in my shoes takes what power they can find.
the moon went to bed already, so what's wrong with us?
i'm a horrible person. the sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.
you're too good for me. i don't deserve you.
it wasn't a secret, i just knew you wouldn't like it.
you use what you've got.
my stomach feels like i've been eating rusty nails.
some good's been known to come out of bad luck, if you face it head on.
where is the motherfucking compassion?
this is still your home, if you want to stay.
the adult in my life is me.
you look like you've seen the dead.
we were kids playing house.
come hang out any time. i could stand the company.
you have to quit being so nice to people.
i'm not one to shut any doors.
i cannot get the hang of living alone.
you should be as mad as i am.
do you want to sleep tonight, or do you want the truth?
they did this to us. you understand that, right?
of all the good people i know, you're probably the best one.
everybody needs to dump on somebody.
i've lived long enough to know that shit doesn't really bounce off.
kids aren't the problem. it's parents.
the only person you need to worry about is yourself.
i have my own honor.
part of being a mature person is knowing your skillset.
another week, another shitshow.
feel free to have a look around.
the support has to run both ways.
good people don't give up on the ones they love.
i've stayed alive so far by staying on my own feet.
i need you to wake up. sit up. we have to talk.
i love you. i would never, ever want to hurt you.
i want to draw your hands.
it's sunday. everyone's either in church or sleeping off their sins.
i want to kill you, but i'm not going to let you die.
are you testing me? or do you really not know?
if wishes were horses, we'd all have different shit to shovel.
a fallen hero shatters into more sharp pieces than you'd believe.
i thought i'd be better off without the fear.
there'll be no getting over this.
a selfish heart will keep you alive, at least.
a snake with venom is gonna bite.
going nowhere fast is a kind of juice.
trust the road, because nobody stays.
in the long run you're on the road with your ghosts. you're the ship, they're the bottle.
rehab is like being married to sickness in a lot of ways, really.
a good story doesn't just copy life, it pushes back on it.
you never were one to fall only halfway down the well, were you?
i let you go. it's what i had to do.
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💙 👩💻 🧢 - @void-botanist
Snippet Asks
[cracks knuckles]
💙share a snippet where a character falls out of love a little
listen i'm not saying dillon was in love-in love but tell me you could be in a room with the big bastard for longer than five minutes and not at least admit he's a little charming
---
“Your mother keeps a perfectly good baseball bat in the hall closet, what did that poor lamp ever do to you?”
Dillon looked down at the device in her hand; the neck was bent at an awkward angle, the head dangling loosely by a single wire. “It’s a piece of shit from SWEDE, I can get another one.” She retrieved the bat from the closet on her way to the stairs anyway, just because it was more practical, not because Zadimus was right. “My mom is gonna be so pissed if that motherfucker broke anything.”
“Doubtful,” Zadimus scoffed as he trotted ahead.
“That she’ll be pissed?”
“No, that it broke anything, I have no doubts your mother will skin us both alive if there’s a mess she has to clean when she gets home from vacation.” He snapped and the basement door swung open, and shortly after, he dove into the darkness with a single beat of his wings.
“Showoff,” Dillon huffed under her breath. “At least turn on the light, not all of us have super demon vision.” She hit the switch at the top of the steps.
Something oily and black was leaking out of the deep freeze.
She turned the lights back off.
There was a flash, a growl, a crash, and a series of wet crunching sounds that, like a train wreck, Dillon didn’t want context for, but she couldn’t stop her curiosity. She turned on the lights.
Zadimus ripped into the soul’s abdomen, spraying ichor across the wall and ceiling beside him. It faded to vapor almost immediately, but it didn’t stop the visceral fear holding Dillon’s heart in a vise.
Maybe she could be afraid of him.
She turned the lights off again and shut the door, then went to the kitchen to get a drink to nurse at the table while she waited for Zadimus to do his thing. Clearly he had it handled. It was easy to forget what he was while he was smug and smarmy and being so very good at sex. “I thought you said it was immediate,” she said softly as his claws clicked quietly on the tile with his approach.
“I have to chew, Dillon, I’m not a snake.”
She glared at him.
👩💻 share a snippet that you worked on for a long time or struggled with
highkey chapter 8 took me almost six months to write
So Zadimus let Dillon poke and prod his fading bruises; the single rib fracture that had started righting itself, the kink in his tail he’d already straightened in the back seat with someone’s hoodie in his mouth to muffle the grunt of pain it had wrung from him. That one smarted a bit, and he gave her a token wince so she’d have something to fuss over. He had been around long enough to know mortals needed to fret and tend to each other after a fight, to regain some control over something when everything else had been more or less out of it. He would never know the fear of a final death, but he understood it, and he had felt the stain it left behind once or twice in his thousand years.
He lifted the pads of her fingers to his lips and kissed the worry from each one, letting the tingle of magic distract her from their ordeal long enough to steal another kiss from her mouth. “See? I’m fine.”
He might have been, but she wasn’t — with her worrying hands at last sated to stillness, Zadimus could see where blood had dried beneath her fingernails, where boiling ichor had stained her knuckles an angry red, where she’d cut her lip either with her own teeth or while she was ripping the wraith apart. Flecks of darkness stubbornly clung to the outer edges of her irises. There was that glimpse again: scarlet braid, leather and metal, sturdy hips and silk-over-steel thighs, and the most vibrantly green eyes he’d ever seen.
There was nothing hard about Dillon except her damned head, but she hadn’t lived through war, famine, pestilence — only a pale horse roamed her pastures, yet she was neither afraid of its bray nor its bite. Her struggles all lived in her heart, and somehow it had still remained as chiffon-soft as the rest of her.
He’d recognize those eyes anywhere, though. Like sunlight reflecting off a dragon’s scales, sharp as a sword and twice as lethal, and when he found himself caught in her gaze—
“Zadimus?”
—the tenderness stabbed him with want so deep, so fathomless, he thought it might actually kill him.
🧢 share a snippet about clothes
The room fell silent as they all looked towards the empty thirteenth seat.
The double doors at the back of the room slammed open, pushed by an unseen wind.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
Stilettos on marble would usually pique Acheron’s interest, and they did, at first, as he followed the black patents up a set of well-toned legs to a sharply-tapered, knee-length pencil skirt, silk blouse, tailored blazer, small gold cross, severely pursed lips, upturned nose, eyes filled with righteous anger… oh dear, he thought, please don’t let this be—
“Pamela Foster,” the newcomer clipped. “Castlebury Park. Sorry I’m late, the homeowner’s association meeting ran long because some people don’t seem to understand neighborhood beautification standards exist for a reason, and a black garage door is an eyesore.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Acheron,” Sterling hissed. His chair scraped as he rose, knocking into his hovering servant. If he noticed, he didn’t acknowledge it. “This? This is the fabled new bloodline? What’s she going to do, ask to speak to the manager?”
“Mister La Croix and I have already spoken, actually, thank you.” Pam took her seat at the end of the table. Acheron didn’t miss the mild panic flitting across Jedediah’s face and the subtle scoot of his chair away from her. Interesting. “We’re here because of my turning, correct?”
#listen. listen i love pam a lot okay. i love pam so much.#my fic#sneeps.txt#the arsonist chronicles#unlikely adventures
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Requiem For A Clown Prompts
quotes taken from Legend of Avantris' DnD Campaign: Once Upon a Witchlight episode 2
“ What if we actually just sat here for 4 hours in total silence? ”
“ No my name is ___, identity theft is not a joke! ”
“ Perhaps you never left here, and this is the original and you were cloned and sent out to the world. ”
“ You’re at peace and we’re very neutral. ”
“ Oh no, it’s not that fancy, it’s like a low budget one ”
“ I don’t know if this is an in-game joke or out of game one ”
“ What’s gonna happen if I try to pass this off as mine? Is my head gonna turn into a bouquet of roses or something? ”
“ Well give it back in case he bouquets my head or something ”
“ A, first of all. A. A! ”
“ He’s also actively bleeding ”
“ Don’t bend it! I worked really hard on these. ”
“ Do you think you get kicked out or turned inside out? ”
“ You must declare your love for unicorns at every opportunity ”
“ Fucking love unicorns—wait oh shit. Oh no. ”
“ Maybe this is some sort of latent childhood memory that’s just flooding back all the sudden. ”
“ Gentleman, I am going to get myself a seed ”
“ Hey! You’re not supposed to tell, now it won’t come true! ”
“ They don’t look like they were taken from a child named Jason. ”
“ You go steal from some acquaintances, and we’ll fucking find out. ”
“ I thought that you were talking about blood too, actually. Giggle blood perhaps. ”
“ You know, I’ve done a lot of thinking about it and I gotta tell you, it’s to die for. ”
“ You were about to kill a chi—I mean send a child to a farm? ”
“ That makes you surprisingly more dangerous than I realize, as you say that ”
“ How many origins can one person have? ”
“ Until you punch a guy, you really never know what he’s going through ”
“ You know, if I’d have known he would haunt me for all my days just cause I punched him in the body and killed him. I probably still would have done it. ”
“ Frankly, not that grave of a transgression, if I’m gonna be honest ”
“ What we gonna do? Just leave him/her/them in the grass? ”
“ I mean corpses ain’t good for biz, right ___? ”
“ Well, did you see how hard he/she/they hit his/her/their body? ”
“ I actually didn’t see it, I heard it first ”
“ Have you always been so symmetrical, by the way? ”
“ I’d cut my hand slapping those cheeks ”
“ Gods, you were strong then ”
“ They never tell you that in the songs ”
“ Gods, I wish there was wine in hell ”
“ They got a fucking pole right through their bodies. That’s a horrible image ”
“ I hope you didn’t skip leg day, motherfucker. Let’s go! ”
“ Awh, you had me at custard! ”
“ What is it with you and fucking with horses? Stop fucking with the horses ”
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I would love to hear about your fairy tale au!!!
YES OK SO
I basically took some basic fairy tale villain archetypes and applied the dorm leaders, those archetypes being:
Stepmother (gender neutral): Vil
Giant: Riddle
Just a straight up talking lion: Leona
Witch: Azul
SATAN HIMSELF: Kalim
Dethroned king: Idia
Dragon: Malleus
Everything is under the readmore because good GOD
And I made them all the core cast. I hear you asking, "But Deli!! If all the villains are the heroes, who's the antagonist?"
No shit it's gonna be the fucker who's usually the protagonist in these fairy tales. By way of what he stole from everybody else, he's a prince now. Also he's Neige. This becomes important later, but for now, take note of the general behavior of your typical Grimms' edition fairy tale protagonist, what's the pattern here? They're all assholes and thieves 90% of the time and should probably have gotten murked. They steal shit, they kill things they shouldn't, they just wreck shop wherever they go and run off laughing like the gremlins they are with little consequence. Trust me, I have witnessed protagonists do some fucked up things and get away with it or be called right, I have a book of these things abt as thick as my arm. TLDR: Neige is a motherfucker. Well. Stepchildfucker. If you want to be specific. Almost. Let me go into detail about that.
~✨ The Actual Story ✨~
We set our scene long ago in a pleasant little village with a family of two. Vil and his nearly-the-same-age-because-marriage-back-then-was-fucked-and-we-AREN'T-getting-into-it stepchild Yuu, who he treats very well actually, are on a pleasant little walk to the market to go buy some essentials for the household, chatting and laughing and remembering what they needed, when suddenly a beautiful white horse bursts out from the treeline and its rider snatches Yuu right up off the street and whisks them away. Obviously in shock and anger because his stepchild was kidnapped right in front of him, Vil tries to give chase, running after Yuu's cries. He managed to get the barest glimpse of the kidnapper, recognizing the face of the newly crowned Prince Neige, just before he escapes into the wood.
From that point, Vil just basically goes on a quest that boils down to him going "hey you. if you've gotten your shit snatched by this fucker in particular, you may be entitled to coming with me to jump him." six times before rolling up on Neige to get his baby back. The following things everyone wants from Neige are as follows:
Riddle: Green goose that bakes golden cakes that Neige stole from him
Leona: Decapitate the bastard and take his head back to the woods so he can claims his brother's throne as forest king
Azul: Neige's firstborn (he ends up settling for some magical artifacts because he can't have a firstborn if he's dead lmao)
Kalim: Neige's soul
Vil: His stepchild (that Neige also stole from him)
Idia: His castle (outright swindled rather than stolen)
Malleus: Dragon egg (yoinked baby #2)
As you can see, there's a Lot that he's gonna get his shit kicked in for
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Listen okay I know, I know we have all talked Tolkien's work to death and I should know better than to beat a dead horse but I'm NOT DONE okay, I need you to understand how much I love Boromir and explain why you motherfuckers should too okay because listen.
Let me debunk some things for you first - Boromir was as kind, as pure of heart and as sound of mind, as devoted to the cause as anybody else in the fellowship if not moreso. He was watching as darkness rose from Osgiliath, he led his people to battle and gruesome deaths defending Minas Tirith from the dark lords forces that, until Elrond called the secret council, Legolas and Gimli's kin would have denied to their dying breaths - because they didn't fucking see it. Boromir knew war was stirring, he was afraid for his people and angry at the world for not believing the warnings he brought with him to the council. He watched men and women he had grown up with, trained with, and defended to his own end dying under the heels of Saurons soldiers, and he cared deeply for the survival of the good and kind world he knew and believed in.
Now I know you're thinking, but Marko, he tried to steal the ring from Frodo! Yeah, shush, I know, but listen - he was a man, a human man with a pure bloodline and the highest vulnerability possible to the ring's powers - Sauron made it this way for a reason. Humans were far more common than elves or dwarves, let alone hobbits who even in the books it is unclear if Sauron actually knew hobbits existed. The ring had a power that sank it's teeth into people's greatest weaknesses - so why didn't the others try to take it? Well, with the elves it's easy - they have centuries of practise with restraint, poise, and grace, they know to say no even when everything in them begs for something sometimes because they have practised it for lifetimes. Elves are also said to have a generally higher tolerance to most magics, and so the ring would be no different.
Dwarves, as we know, love a shiny thing - but Gimli was old and wiser than he was ever given credit for, not to mention he grew up hearing from Glowin the story of Thorin and how his greed consumed him, and for however much he loved a pretty thing he knew that the ring was evil, and if there was one thing dwarves - and particularly Gimli- hated to do, it's what they're told. So when Gimli felt the effects of the ring (on admittedly rare occasion) he mostly only felt further hatred for the ring.
Hobbits, as we know, don't seem to be affected by the ring - though I would posit that since the ring is known to target the things most dear to someone, for hobbits this is often food, and this may be why Frodo so rarely ate on his journey and often went hungry which only added to his misery. In any case, we know why the ring didn't cause Frodo or any of his kin to act out the way Boromir did.
And Aragorn - our boy - our good man - there are two reasons I don't think he acted out in the presence of the ring. One, his elvish blood - he is not a pure blooded human like Boromir was, and he spent all of his childhood under the care of Elrond which offers up a further possibility that the magic that protects elves is something you can gain over time spent in their homes. Kind of a long shot, but anyway, two is much more important which is that Aragorn knew full fucking well what his ancestors did. He knew the crimes of his bloodline and he carried it with immense shame and was deeply devoted to not repeating such mistakes. He knew that one day defeating such an evil might fall to him, and he spent his whole life preparing himself not to fail in that task even if he had to die to do so. Basically guys, Aragorn did therapy with Elrond & on his own to make sure he didn't fuck this up colossally.
But, you say, but Marko, Faramir had the same chance! Faramir had the exact same blood as Boromir and he chose to let Frodo go!
Yes. Faramir was weak to the ring the same way that Boromir was, but think about how those boys were raised. Boromir was a protector, a soldier, a fighter, and he loved with his whole damn heart. He adored his baby brother, worshipped his father with faith that somewhere under his cruelty he was a good man and a loving father, and gods did Boromir ever love his people. Nothing brought him pride more than protecting his city. All he wished to do was protect what he loved. He fought for the whole damn world.
What was Faramir fighting for you guys? I love him too, he is sweet and kind and gentle and not cut out for war, and I love his character so much, but he didn't fight for the world. He was not a protector or a soldier, he fought for his father, to prove his loyalty and devotion, to prove himself to his dad. And I get it, man, I know, I want my dad to love me too, but think about the weight of a father's approval versus the weight of the whole world.
Boromir fell to the ring's power so easily because for him it mattered so much more. The ring bit down on his heart and tasted his devotion to the world, and it used that, it told him with this ring he could save his city, his family, his home, all of it. He could right all the wrongs and save everyone if he had just this one tool. The ring did this to Faramir too, but all it could offer Faramir was his father and he knew that would be hollow, he knew without Boromir alive his father would never love him the same and so the ring could tempt Faramir until he was sick in the head and he still would never have taken it because he knew his father would never be the same without his eldest son back, and nothing Faramir could do, not even bring the ring to him, nothing would change this for him. Because Faramir loved the world too, but not the way that Boromir did. Faramir knew he was only a boy in a man's skin, playing soldier and fighting his brother's war until he could come back and finish it himself. Faramir knew he could not protect the world from anything. Boromir didn't know this, his father bred him to take his place and was trained from childhood to be a leader and a guide. As far as Boromir understood it, if the world was to survive this war it would be his job to lead his people to victory. Not only did Boromir believe he could do it, but he truly believed he would have to one day, or the world would fall to ruin - as far as he knew there was no king to save them, he was all there was left. He believed it to his bones. And this weighed so heavily on him, of course, fucking, OF COURSE he would be tempted by something that promised him victory. Promised to remove that weight.
So in summary,
"Boromir is good because he redeemed himself"? Broke.
"Boromir was always good and his weakness to the ring was a testament to the ring's evil, not to Boromir's character"? Woke.
Now, final challenge you guys? You really wanna do a thought experiment? Replace the ring with drugs.
Same fucking shit.
Replace it with money.
Same. Fucking. Shit.
Anyway Tolkien is a genius and Boromir was the best, the sweetest, the kindest, and the most devoted out of anyone in the fellowship and I will fucking die on that hill.
Ok bye.
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You’ll pay as dearly as those fall guys hun believe that
Believe that
Rebecca anaecah Cooper said that
Anarchy your sad ass Kelsie
Anaecah …
It’s only important to the liars I guess
Ashley and other rotten souls had jokes
She’s not in Hollywood yet shocker
Ashley, I know that you get regular Botox but please don’t go to Hollywood to be honest with you. I thought of this and I thought of everything that you guys have done to be funny I would not want to see you on a screen to be honest with you.
On any screen, I don’t go out of my way to see you on screen, Ashley
Since you need to see me so much on screen, it seems that I am the one who needs charity. What tribe I belong to is none of your WT business Ashley. You will never belong with those people who buy and sell white trash like yourself
Keep pushing me and see if Halle Berry doesn’t pop a cap in your ass. I’m done with you you stupid whore.
Love matters more than you
Love
I already know exactly what you were up to and yes that’s why you’re here. I don’t need to be here though. I’m not a dumb bitch like you.
I can see why those women lost friends and got on a hit list
Honey, you should be worried. You’re fucking others lovers
Panty liners are funny to Ashley
Jew sex with Zoe
Ashley, don’t you have children to raise or whatever
You really should focus more on that before I call Zoe and have her call somebody who will sleep with your husband to piss you off
Maybe I was the only decent person around who cared because as far as I could tell, you were always trying to steal from me thinking that I don’t know that kind of thing you will lose in the end, you may even lose your tongue
But the important thing is that now you understand that there are many other beautiful woman, and you’re not the only fucking bitch who is guilty of stealing from me
Yeah prolly him too.
How pathetic
We wanted better men smarter
Well not Ashley and Ashley but they’re insincere twats
So the Botox Ashleys were enough for y’all to cheat. Okay then. Don’t call then boring after fucking them
Notice how the other girls get choppy bad work in comparison?
All seriousness and ego aside. Yes, I do believe that I am I came into this worldmore aesthetically pleasing than that piece of trash and I say that because I already know that she and Samantha thought they would be really funny because they have never loved another man they have never loved anyone.
I’m sorry that that bothers you, but I’m not really that sorry Ashley. Why don’t you fight with Megan Fox because Megan Fox won’t even give you the time of day and she will give me the time of day.
Awe thank Brian and Megan for making Ashley look like trash
Enough of that horse shit and anyway about that Britney Spears garbage what about my fucking chin motherfucker so anyway, you were telling me how you failed at trying to create the next popstar on my dime
#lenny kravitz#zoe kravitz#Jew sex#Ashley pedigos hatred for Jews and Roman Catholics#christina aguilera#poor dudes awe#Brian harmych Md#choppy work for the goddess#huh what kinda goddess#Botox#taking love seriously and being actually beautiful#being metaphorically pretty also#beautiful black features matter#don’t they?#Mark my words all you want you will never be me
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I know it’s tedious that I’m still talking about this, but in the best way possible you cannot give the alleged villain lines like, contextually, “let me make you rise.” let me. there’s an ask there, a request for permission. let me make YOU rise. personal! significant! allow me to elevate YOU!
whereas broke ass bitch boy is all blah blah MY music blah blah LOVE IN HIGHLY GENERAL ABSTRACT TERMS.
but back to the duke: “I want you to love me like I’m a hot ride” and “keep thinking of me doing what you like.” this duke FUCKS.
#yes yes it's a jukebox musical and any close read of the text is inherently doomed#and YET#team duke#love that they gave this motherfucker a rihanna song and he just kills it#listen christian is just erik with worse less avant garde taste and no formal wear and without the excuse of the whole face thing#oh! and without the experience in gladitorial combat#or the trap building skills#so like all the BAD vaguely self absorbed qualities without any of the FUN AND SEXY murder snob energy#with no cape bitch doesn't even have a cape he would never steal a horse for you.#anyway i think next novel will feature a bitchy male romantic lead again#hot sad dad necromancer is a very nice man and alas#we like writing bad boys with snobbish taste#but SERIOUSLY#rihanna AND sympathy for the devil?!?!?!#how can you NOT stan tbh
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SO GUYSSSS I JUST FINISHED READING RULE OF WOLVES AND WHAT THE HELL???? I am a MESS
(so here are my thoughts that I had while reading it)
❗❗RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS❗❗
• Lol Nikolai has a horse named Punchline, I love him so much
• Sankta Zoya Y E S
• Nina is sooo badass I love her - Brum needs to die btw
• Fjerda is a little shit
• "If not for Nina, their blessed termite eating at the heart of Fjerda’s government" - did I mention I love Nina?????
• Nikolai is a freaking mastermind and I love him
• OMG THEY HAVE AN ANTIDOTE FOR PAREM NOW???? HELL YEAH take THAT Fjerda!!!!
• Nina adopting Kaz's mindset when back at the Ice Court is what I live for
• UGH THE APPARAT
• Nikolai is soooo in love with Zoya I AM GOING CRAZY
• Zoya's "you forget that in Kerch greed is a virtue" gave me MAJOR Kaz vibes... I miss my crow babies
• Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't really like Ehri
• ZOYALAI NATION, HOW ARE WE??? ARE WE CRYING?
• I just REALLY love the found family trope and seeing everyone gathered in Zoya's rooms and Zoya curled up on the couch next to Genya I just AAAAAAAAA
• I absolutely adore the whole concept of the Darkling's prison and the CONSTANT sunlight he has to face HA - Alina vibes
• OMG "bring me Alina Starkov" WHAT THE FUCK I have literal chills ESPECIALLY after seeing the S&B trailer:)
• Nina being so confident in everything she learned from the Crows gives me so much serotonin I WANT MY BABIESSS
• Oh my god... I like prince Rasmus, he gives me major Nikolai vibes
• I draw immense satisfaction from Kaz and Zoya using "podge" as their preferred curse word :))))
• NIKOLAI CAN SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM HIS DEMON???? King behavior
• HOLY SHIT ALINA AGREED TO THE MEETING here we go again, fam
• I'm seeing Nikolai talking a lot about accepting his death and being undisturbed by the prospect of it and it feeaks me out - if he dies, I die with him
• Random, but: they need to get the thorn stuff from the Order of Sankt Feliks or whatever, right??? Maybe they have to steal it... and they would require expertise... MAYBE SOME CROWS PLS???????? (I am such a clown)
• Okay wait... so the letters that prove Nikolai is a bastard are in the druskelle sector... PLEASE TELL ME NINA HAS TO BREAK IN THE ICE COURT the fact that she is back there ALONE makes my heart clench so hard... I MISS MY CROWS
• FUCK ALINA SHOWED UP (also Oncat apparently and now I want to cry about Harshaw again)... AND MAL I can't take this I AM HYPERVENTILATING
• I AM LEGIT ON THE FLOOR Yuri is still there FINALLY understanding that the Darkling is evil AND NOW MY MAIN MAN GOT HIS POWERS BACK oh, I love the chaos
• NIKOLAI FUCKING CARRIES ZOYA'S RIBBON IN HIS POCKET nobody fucking touch me
• THE WEDDING IS FOR GENYA AND DAVID????? I AM SOOO CONFUSED what the heck
• Nikoali is the most fucking badass amazing cunning freakishly intelligent idiot I have ever seen in my entire life, my love for him is immesurable, I cannot put into words just how awesome his awesomeness is TAKE THAT MAKHI YOU BITCH
• OH HELL NO the demon is trying to escape SMACK THAT BITCH NIKOLAI BABY
• Oh wow, Rasmus is crazyyyy af he isn't anything like Nikolai my perfect boi SORRY
• OMG Nikolai's dad us a good guy??? I feel so sorry for him... SO NIKOLAI WAS RIGHT TO BE A ROMANTIC huh
• FUCKING HELL again with the nichevo’ya???? Darkling bby, what the HECK
• Nononononooo NO NOOOO NOT DAVID WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH
• "This is what love does" one of the most powerful quotes tbh
• Wait... they want to???? STEAL??? titanium from the Kerch??? .... DOES THIS MEAN.... C R O W S?????
• Okay but... the Darkling's POV? POWER MOVE I love it!!! And the fact that he uses Aleksander as his name with zero reticence now is just *chef's kiss*
• I'm sorry but... I don't like Mayu's chapters I AM SO SORRY I DON'T
• Nina is my badass queen STEP ASIDE PEASANTS
• All these SoC Easter Eggs and mentions are driving me insane
• Idk why but imagining the Darkling drinking beer is sooo funny to me
• I AM LOSING MY SHIT they are in Ketterdam KETTERDAM does that mean ....DOES THAT MEAN ....I better see my Crows or I am throwing hands
• The Zoyalai conversations in this book are KILLING me
• OH MY FUCKING GOD so Kaz took the Emerald Palace over and renamed it THE SILVER SIX???? LIKE???? I AM LEGIT CRYING???
• Ummm...Zoya, honey, WHY do you want to VOLUNTARILY stay away from Nikolai, HUH?????
• THE ONLY REASON HE AGREED TO HELP NIKOLAI WAS BECAUSE HE GUARANTEES INEJ'S PROTECTION if that's not L O V E idk what is YAAASSS KANEJ
• FUCKING SHIT JESPER!!!! IT'S JESPER!!!! WYLAN!!!! I AM FAINTING MY BABIESS
• The Crows' banter is WHAT I LIVE FOR
• Kaz is the most cold, badass and calculating motherfucker on the planet, I love him soooo much
• No NO NOO JORAN IS THE ONE WHO KILLED MATTHIAS????? HOLY SHIT I am sooo scared LEIGH WHYYYY
• Kaz's reaction to Nikolai's demon is legit the funniest shit ever
• Kaz and Nikolai are bffs - THIS IS HEADCANON LEAVE ME BE
• Queen Leyti has severely disappointed me
• I am having waayyyyy too much fun reading about the Darkling among blindly faithful monks - this is the stuff of sitcoms
• (I know the Crows only had a cameo and they won't pop up again, but I can't help desperation wanting to see Nina reunite with them and PLEASE GIVE ME INEJ!!!)
• Honestly, it's pretty cool getting to have a look in the Darkling's head - it's SUPER fucked up
• OOOOO the blight vs the Darkling = the only confrontation I want to see
• FATHER AND SON REUNION
• I don't care much for Hanne x Nina, but I have to admit that they make a very cute couple
• FUCK THEY BROKE STURMHOND'S BLOCADE FUUUUCK
• WAIT NO it was their plan all along HOLY SHIT electricity RULEZZZZ who knew physics would prove THIS useful???
• UUUGHH FUCK THE APPARAT I am so sick of this guy - Zoya was right, they should have killed him
• I am really pissed at the Darkling- YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH RAVKA NEEDS YOUR HELP, YOU SEE NIKOLAI'S BRAVERY, YOU KNOW YOU CAM HELP, AND YOU DO NOTHING??? BRO WHAT THE FUCK
• HELL YEAH ZOYA IS A DRAGOOON fuck some shit up sweety Y E S
• MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY CROPS ARE WATERED BY THE DARKLING RAISING A MOB TO CALL ZOYA "SANKTA"
• Also... the Darkling winking at Nikolai? FLERT
• WHAT THE FUCK???? HANNE DIED??? holy shit, why???? WHY CAN'T NINA BE HAPPY???????
• Nikolai is an absolute SAVAGE in a debate
• Idk what to think abt Rasmus... he was kinda badass for standing up against Brum
• SOLDIER. SUMMONER. SAINT. slap me and call me a hoe I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT
• ZOYA AS QUEEN, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP
• Okay I stan the Darkling again
• ZOYALAI IS CANON I REPEAT ZOYALAI IS CANONNNNN
• OKAY WOW HANNE IS A FULL-ON BADASS yep, I stan
• I really???? LOVE??? this ending for the Darkling??? Idk but it is VERY fitting
• ALINA!!!! AT ZOYA'S!!!! CORONATION!!!! my life is complete
• FUCKING SHIT INEJ!!! INEEEEEJJJJ my queen my love AAAAAA
• The conversation at the end between Alina, Zoya and Genya DESTROYED ME
• STEALING THE HEART OF SANKT FELIKS yes please BRING THE CROWS BACK!!!!! I NEED ANOTHER CROWS SEQUEL!!!!
• I fainted, I ascended, I DIED at the last page
• NOW I NEED A SEQUEL!!!
• Leigh, you ARE goig to write what happens next, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????
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— 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: sLight angst, just a lil bit. & language!
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: this is bertholdt x fem! reader.
"love me tender, love me sweet; never let me go."
he is,, so sweet.
quite closed off at first, as one would imagine— nevertheless, though, he's incredibly gentle to you, and just an all around sweetheart. bertholdt's known for his kinder tendencies, but with you, it's an entirely different playing field.
you would sit with both him and reiner during mealtimes, which typically goes either one of two ways: it's quiet, and mainly just simple conversation between the three of you. or, reiner gets pulled into some shitty shenanigan (usually enforced by connie or sasha), ultimately dragging you and your poor boyfriend with him.
^ one time, the three of you + connie and jean were challenged to steal a single pound of bread from commander shadis' quarters, without getting caught. you were nearly caught lmao, bertholdt had to enact his long limbs™ to reach out and yAnk you back into the shadows. it was romantic <3
when it isn't nighttime, cuddles with him are a motherfucking godsend. the two of you alternate between little spoon & big spoon, because both of y'all need that sort of comfort. he cherishes the moments where he can pull you into his chest, burying his face within your hair while the two of you serenade in the silence.
when it is nighttime, though, and the two of you are fast asleep, it's literal hell JDJFK. everyone knows about bert's heinous sleeping habits, and with yoU in the mixture?? lord, he's kicked you off the bed before.
he felt AWFUL
"oHhmygoDy/NareyouokAywhaThapPened-"
you end up developing a system, where you just fucking latch onto his back while the two of you sleep, locking him in place while also comfortably cuddling. sometimes you drool on his back lmao, but he doesn't mind.
matching PAJAMAAAAAS
yes, it was his idea. don't make fun of him, he's trying his bEST-
during expeditions, he quietly frets over you. while everyone is prepping for going outside the walls, he stares at you from a distance, trying his best to remain positive. reiner typically has to snap him out of it, placing a hand on his shoulder and telling him to focus.
he, however, does not focus!! the entire time, he's using his goddamn height to his advantage to glance above the crowd, making sure you're doing okay. he doesn't want to openly worry for you, though, because he doesn't want you to feel belittled. he's aware that you're strong, and he's aware that you're capable. still, you're his. he worries.
he'll drop his horse on its ass in order to save you from a dickless ogre, i'll tell y'all that much.
while reiner has grown a liking towards you, annie couldn't care less for your well-being. not at first, anyway. she really, really doesn't like you, or the threat you oppose towards their mission. of course, you don't even know about said mission, but nevertheless, bertholdt is better off without you. to her, you're nothing but a casualty.
^ this doesn't mean she can't GROW to like you, of course. for a long time, though she rlly doesn't like you
catching feelings for you wasn't easy at all for bert,, like at all. he constantly attacked himself for growing attached to you, and as his feelings intensified, so did his self hate. it felt as if he was betraying his homeland and the love of his life at the exact same time— everything contradicted against one another, leading to one hell of struggle. poor bby didn't know what he wanted more, to go home or be with you :,))
eventually (i'll let the reader imagine how), he gave in, and the time the two of you spend together is great 🥺
back to actual headcanons JDJF;&&(& bertholdt is OBSESSED with your hands. touching them, kissing them, holding them, etc. the gestures are always quiet, like placing his hand ontop of yours beneath the table, but they're sweet. he loves your hands, ty. in a modern world, he would paint your nails for you and do a DARN GOOD JOB 😭
if he catches you wearing one of his shirts, he'll melt right into the floor. he's a lanky fellow, so the shirt itself would definitely be somewhat loose on you, which he loves. one morning, you were in a rush to get out of the boy's barracks, and you accidentally grabbed his shirt instead of your own. during breakfast, he walked into the mell hall only to see you, iN his bigass shirt, the ends aggressively tucked into your pants so that it wouldn't sag.
he was like :0
nobody even realized that the two of you were an item until, like,, moNths into your relationship. he's keen on keeping things on the down low, he's introverted & constantly struggling xoxo. they found out through ymir, who caught him pecking you on the cheek before curfew. needless to say, she exposed you to the entire girl's bunker that same night.
one time before he asked you out you made a lesbian joke and he took it literally JDJJF
oh, she isn't even into men.
then like a week later he overheard you calling some random salesman in the city attractive and he was so fucking confused
whTsttegoiNgoN
eventually, reiner got sick of it and literally just asked you flat out: "so, what's your ballgame?"
bertholdt had eighteen back to back panic attacks in the corner KDKGKKOH
when it comes to your hobbies, he's got each and every one memorized. through silent pining for you from a distance, he's picked up on the little things. you're an artist? wow, he's obsessed. you're a poet? please, serenade him to sleep with your wishful thinking. you won't even have to tell him, by the time you're together, he just knows.
if you're short, he's,, protective. he's protective either way, but if you're on the smaller scale, he feels this undying need to just encAse you in his arms, protecting you from the outside world. he also wouldn't know how to act a majority of the time KDJKF he's literally a beanstalk of a man, how the fuck does he operate with you??
^ enjoy him having to lean down a considerable amount to kiss you on the forehead jjdhfh
the same goes for if you're of average height!! not too drastic of a difference.
if you're tall, you're a queen. he's humored whenever he sees you towering over the others, and he lOves the fact that he's one of the only ones that towers over you. it's actually really cute, seeing him smile like a cutie as he rests his cheek on the side of your head while the short bitches are biTteR
he's a tad bit obsessive when it comes to treating whatever wounds you may have, because he worries more intensely than most. you get a measly papercut, he's the only wrapping up your finger .7 seconds after you started bleeding. he does this thing once it's tended to where he places a tiny kiss atop the bandages, it's really sweet.
10/10 boyfriend, minus the angst that i refused to include 💞 smd smd SMD SMD
#aot headcanons#aot x reader#bertholdt hoover#bertolt hoover#bertholdt#bertholdt hoover x reader#bertholdt x reader#attack on titan
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Shelter
The request:
Author’s Notes | I took the chance for Day Felice’s new album and wrote it while listening to their song Shelter, if you guys want to listen to it while reading as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! (And the song too haha).
Universe | Vikings
Pairing | Ivar x Reader
Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon.
Words | 1878
⁑ Warnings: Mentions to child abuse and abandonment. Wounds, blood, and some angst.
His chariot noise was always something that would help his mind to ease after any kind of arguing. And with his wife, it wasn't different. This morning he’d left after a huge discussion with her.
Why was Y/N so worried about a slave child?
Ivar insisted several times she should just forget the thing and let it go. It wasn't their responsibility! And more: by taking leftovers and water for that child every night, she was only making the little thing's suffering longer!
"It would be dead already if it wasn't for you, feeding it every night!" he remembered trying to insist.
But Y/N's was stone-headed! Every single night, there was his queen, dressing her cloak and leaving his castle - once a former church - to visit the thing that now wasn't moving places, of course.
Someone was feeding it, helping it, all the time! Why would it be stupid and leave it behind?
Ivar was getting used to passing by that child every day as if the girl was some kind of door or local decoration. But not for his wife. Not his Y/N and her heart blessed by Frigg.
She was a natural mother. He knew that! It was one of the reasons he chose her the love Y/N would show for any child she could have around.
But when she came with that stupid idea, it went too far for him.
"I'm going to take her home."
A thing.
A useless thing that wouldn't serve not even as a slave, so thin it was.
They've discussed it for hours. Ivar screamed at Y/N she was insane, perhaps touched by some local spirit. Y/N yelled he was an insensitive motherfucker who could fuck himself out of her room if he thought she would let a child starve to death on her door.
As always, their love was intense but also was their anger. And whenever they would yell at each other, one of them would end up hurt.
This time, it was her.
"I don't fucking care about what you think! It's cattle, Y/N! Cattle die! And that's it! I won't spend my supplies with a thing that can barely give anything back to us!"
Or maybe not.
Perhaps... It was him.
"Fine then. Let us guide her to the woods and leave her to the wolves, Ivar. Isn't it what we do with useless things? Oh, wait... Wasn't it what your father did to you?"
Their words would always hurt each other deeper than they wanted to hurt. Their hearts would regret the words said at the moment they’d left their mouths.
But this time, her words forced his eyes to look out of his chariot. And Ivar stopped it by the street near where that thing was sitting, observing. Trying to understand why his wife was trying so hard to save that starving child.
Why was she comparing them as if there was anything in common between him and a Saxon abandoned child?
It was early in the morning. He watched as the little girl unwrapped the leftovers his wife had given to her the last night. At first, Ivar thought the little hungry thing would, of course, eat everything without care. But he watched with surprise as she fractioned the little portion, eating a quarter of it and saving the rest for later.
It was an intelligent move... She wasn’t a wild animal, after all.
That would be a cold day. Ivar observed as the little one looked up to the sky. The sun was born behind some heavy clouds - probably some rain would be coming at night.
He watched as the little thing looked around, smartly stealing a barrel from the trash of a nearby store, checking on its wooden pieces to place it properly as a shelter. She was young and thin enough to fit into it. It would serve for the night and maybe keep her warm.
The owner of the store, so as some people who were passing by, pushed her here or there, complaining about her attempts to move between them. And Ivar watched as the little girl looked up from the ground to the bigger people around her, fearlessly.
She wasn't such a defenseless little thing as he thought she was.
In fact, she was pretty smarter than he thought a Saxon child could be, hiding her barrel between the mead barrels of the same store, covering its problems with some mud, so the owner wouldn't see it wasn't one of his barrels.
She wouldn't have her shelter for the night thrown away or broken before she could use it.
Ivar lost track of the time he spent there, watching the girl moving here and there, gathering stones and mud to imitate the shop owner's way of stocking his barrels and preserving hers.
But the important matters of the town had to be more important than his arguing with his wife, and with this, Ivar moved away from that place.
His mind wondered if that was the reason why his wife was so sure he and that child had something in common.
The little girl was a fighter like he was someday, indeed. She was fighting her way to keep herself alive and, perhaps, his precious Y/N was right, and death wasn't exactly the fate that child had in this world.
Ivar tried to get himself occupied during the day. But the truth was that his mind never stopped lingering over Y/N's words, passing over and over the things he had seen that morning.
When the night was threatening to come, the sky broke in water as he thought it would. But curiosity dragged him away from the path to his home.
Ivar wanted to see if the little girl's plan had gone right and what was his surprise when he found the little one sitting away from the store under the heavy rain, with nothing but a rag to cover herself and wounds everywhere.
The barrel she'd tried so hard to protect was shattered near the store's trash, and a fence was placed by the owner around his barrels with some spikes near the place she was sitting before. It was preventing her from having coverage under his roof, even from the outside.
That angered Ivar a little. He'd seen her hard work! And, in the end, her plan had failed. She was clearly beaten and wet from her head to her toes anyway.
However, his eyes caught something he wasn't expecting.
After eating the last piece of what his wife had given to her, the little girl extended the leather over a hole he watched her carve with her bare hands on the ground. Treated, the leather started to catch water and fill itself, becoming a bag into the hole. The little girl caught the bag before it could lose its content, tied the leather with a strand of her ragged trousers, and created a canteen from where she started drinking the rainwater, relieving her thirst.
She was beaten down, defeated. Yet, she didn't give up. She didn't lay her pride down. And found herself a way to turn that rain into a chance for her to survive one more day.
There was determination in her eyes.
That little thing wasn't being sustained by his wife's crumbs. No. She was fighting to the limit of her strength to survive.
Like he'd done someday...
Ivar's eyes filled with surprise when he could see himself in that little girl's wounds, dragging himself through the mud when everyone thought he would never move.
Standing, when everyone was expecting his legs to break and let him fall.
She was a fighter. And, maybe, Y/N was right. Perhaps it wasn't about a Saxon child or a useless slave. Perhaps the gods were showing him they've chosen that little thing, to give her a chance, to reward her for the fight she was putting on for her life.
"Get in," Ivar's voice sounded.
The little thin thing lifted her eyes to see the mighty Viking looking at her from the chariot everyone from her people was taught to fear. Her wounded little body could barely reach the top of its wheels when she got up to look at Ivar.
Her eyes into his, instigating even more the curiosity he was starting to have about that little Saxon thing.
How fierce would she be if raised under his roof?
But the little thing didn't get up on his chariot at once. Instead, she lowered herself, gathering more stones with her muddy and wounded hands.
"I said get in! Don't you see you'll end up dying under this rain?" Ivar complained, annoyed he was standing under such heavy and cold waters for a thing that dared to turn her back on him, carving the floor and placing the stones in a way the rain wouldn't destroy her little monument. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"I must do it, sir," she mumbled.
Ivar could recognize a small stone monument in that little girl's construction. His people were used to rising those little towers to pray for the gods or place small sacrifices and offers.
Was Y/N teaching her about the gods?
"Why?" he asked as she tried to climb up on his chariot, struggling a little with the height and her wounded knees.
"It is for the lady who comes here every day," she mumbled. "I promised if I ever was to leave, I would leave one of these for her, so she would know I'm not dead."
For his wife.
She was leaving a stone monument for Y/N, so she wouldn't be worried...
"I don't know where you're taking me, king Ivar," she said, showing she knew who he was. "But I don't want her to be sad."
Ivar's heart ached. There was indeed something in common between him and that child. But not only the fact that both of them were survivors.
She didn't want his wife to be hurt.
And so didn't he.
"Cover yourself," he said, throwing his warm cloak around her.
It covered her like a blanket in which she rolled herself, nestling with a grateful smile.
"She was right," the little girl mumbled as Ivar started to ride his horses.
"What?" he asked, and she repeated, smiling at him.
"The lady was right." She said. "The gods were watching me. Maybe I passed their test."
Y/N was definitely teaching that girl. And Ivar sighed, looking at the road.
Perhaps it was a test for himself as well. Or Skuld just had decided to use him as a feather to write that little girl's fate differently.
"Skuld," he said, catching her eyes. "We shall name you Skuld. To honor the god that wrote your fate like this."
"Skuld," she tried.
Pronouncing it perfectly.
"Sounds strong... I like it!"
What a petulant little thing, Ivar thought. As if she had any choice on how things would be from now on. A giggle filled Ivar's mouth.
Y/N was right and he would remember apologising after coming home that night.
The little girl wasn’t a useless thing. And he had to admit.
She was like him, after all.
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#history vikings#imagine vikings#ivar#ivar the boneless#ivar imagine#ivar x reader#ivar ragnarsson#ivar lothbrok#ivar's heathen army#sister wives#htgi#shot
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Kia ora! Could i request a peaky blinders x male reader, where y/n is in a secret relationship with his brother tommy shelby? fluff and hiding from period typical homophobic laws
A/N: Hello dear anon! I hope you will like it! I’m not watching Peaky Blinders so I tried to keep in the universe and in character but I’m pretty sure I messed up a few things lol. Hopefully you will enjoy it nonetheless! Thanks for requesting :3
TW/CW: Incest, Slurs/derogatory terms about gay men, misoginy (ig, well they don’t talk well about women), Mention of period typical homophobia - Read at your own risks
Words: 2.4K
The atmosphere in the room was tense. Some members of the gang had been attacked and it seemed that other rival gangs in Birmingham were pushing their luck, titillating your family into making mistakes.
You weren’t really concentrated on the discussion, rather you observed your brother (and secret lover) who was seated opposite to where you were standing, a whisky in his hand, discussing the serious matter with a frown on his face with your brother, Arthur and your Aunt Polly.
You tried following the flow of the conversation but the soft light reflecting on Tommy’s face was making him way too attractive and his shining eyes were marvellous, you wanted to kiss away the frown on his face, hold him in your arms and proclaim to the world that you loved him.
Sadly, you weren’t able to do so for a numerous of reason, firstly he was your brother, and although wedding between cousins were accepted, people were taking less kindly two children from the same mother to be in love. And secondly well, people of your kind weren’t well liked (not to say absolutely despised), two men lying together was seen as an abomination and you had witnessed a few times boys being beaten for being accused of being a “fag”.
Truth to be told, you hated being unable to be with him, go outside together, not giving a care about anything or anybody but sadly you knew you couldn’t do that. You wanted to stay alive and not cause the downfall of your family’s gang and basically not disgracing them socially, so here you were, trying to listen to the conversation.
“What are your thoughts (Y/N)?”, it was Arthur who spoke up. You tried to stay collected on the outside and completely panicking inside.
“Oh erm. I think we should maybe execute one person, one example to assert our dominance and show them this as a warning and we won’t stay here doing nothing?”, they nodded as you sighed, feeling less stressed now that you answered to them.
You lit up a cigarette and smoked slowly as they discussed about who they will take down, their level in the other gang. And after debating for another ten minutes they settled on kidnapping, Ralph McAllister, a middle-ranked member from the Birmingham Boys you had seen few times in town.
All of you stayed a bit more, discussing other issues until Polly had to leave, kissing all of you on the cheek. Arthur did the same, but leaving with a clasp on the shoulder, not without proposing both of you to meet him tonight at the Garrison Pub, which you agreed to do, he left both of you alone.
You waited until you were sure they were far enough and that nobody would be able to see you, you walked to Tommy, putting your cigarette on the ashtray and took his face in your hands, kissing him softly. He sighed in the kiss and put his free hand on your hip, gently caressing it with his thumb.
“Everything is such a mess. Fucking assholes they think they can try and steal our territory.”, his hand gripped your hip a bit tightly. You caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, looking at him seriously.
“They fucking sucks but we’re going to crush them. Don’t think about them now and relax.”, you felt his grip loosen as he downed the rest of the whiskey and put the glass on the table next to him. He tapped your hip with his fingers, making you move from above him, allowing him to stand up. He gazed at you lovingly and took your hand in his.
“Maybe we should move to the bedroom? There will be no risks of being the caught.”
You nodded and followed him in his bedroom, locking the door behind you as Tommy closed the curtains, just in case. Tommy then went to his seat and you joined him, sitting on his lap, his hand directly went to your check. You leaned in it, smiling at him. You enjoyed those quiet moments with him where you could do anything without any care in the world.
He peppered your cheeks with kisses, attempting to kiss all of your freckles, making you laugh lowly. Tommy then looked at you with a gentle smile and finally kissed you on the lips; you deepened it, adding a bit of tongue to the kiss. Tommy’s free hand went around your waist, smiling in the kiss and after a few more seconds of kissing he moved his mouth to your jaw, then your neck, letting you breath as he lightly bit your neck, avoiding leaving any marks.
He stopped after a while, breathing a bit strongly, putting his head on your shoulder, both of his arms now wrapping your waist. You stroked his hair, smiling softly and shuddering as his hot breath hit your neck.
“We’ll have to meet with Arthur later…”, you regretfully said.
“Yeah… But don’t think about that love. Now we’re having a moment together.”
You smiled at him and yelped when he stood up and suddenly put his hands under your thighs. He chuckled at the sound as by reflex you wrapped your legs around his waist. He walked you to his bed and put you on it, coming to lie next to you. He brought you in his arms, cuddling you and kissing your forehead. Both of you chilled there for a while in silence, bathing in each other’s love.
After a while lying on the comfortable, cuddling and sometimes talking, you decided that even though you really wanted to stay with him you had to be “productive” and go and take care of the horses to avoid raising suspicions.
You regretfully left Tommy’s arms, kissing him gently as he stood up too, to go and plan the disappearance of McAllister. You unlocked the door and kissed him once last time before making your way to your room, changing your clothes and then went to the stables. You started by putting the horses in the field made for them and cleaned all the stalls. It was an unusual job for the son of a wealthy family but considering your family was a gang it didn’t really matter, at least you were someone to be trusted with the horses.
You really enjoyed taking care of the horses, even though sometimes it was it was very demanding job and the horses weren’t always in the best of the moods but it was an entertaining job, and you really loved the feeling of seeing the horses happy, clean and healthy and you were sweaty and not looking at all like a man of your rank.
Once all the cleaning and filling the food tanks of the horses you brought them one by one back in their stable. You stayed a bit longer with Ludy, a Shire horse that you considered yours instead of the family’s, patting him and giving him a little treat before leaving to take a shower as it was almost time for you to go and meet Arthur.
You put some clean clothes and waited for Tommy to come down, you were almost wondering if he had forgotten about it, knowing how he could be whenever he started to work, but before you could even try to walk back upstairs he arrived and shoot you a wink with a smile.
“You look great brother.”
“Same about you Tommy. You’re going to pick up some lass at the bar?”
“Maybe, we’ll see..”, he licked his lips as he checked you out. You saw the maid behind him, having some sheets in her arms.
You walked outside the mansion and met with the driver. Both of you went in the back and discussed about random things until you arrived at the bar. You stepped out and told the driver he wouldn’t have to go and come search you.
You readjusted your coat and walked inside The Garrison with Tommy right behind you, it was filled with quite the people. The pair of you looked around until you found Arthur in a corner drinking some whisky while flirting with the waitress.
You went and joined him as the waitress left and sat next to him with a smile.
“So, in what honour are we drinking tonight?”
“To the future death of that Birmingham motherfucker and to the calm that will be back right after.”
You all laughed at that and nodded in agreement, the asshole will soon be 6 feet under and all the gangs will either prepare or run away like the rats they were. Tommy ordered a round of drinks and you talked together, sometimes looking at the girls in the pub. Suddenly Arthur whistled.
“Tommy, the blonde lass over there had been watching you for a good while, y’should talk to her, bet she’d like your dick. You should go to talk to her.”
“Wait”, you intervened, “You should wait a bit more, like making her desire you even more so she like jump on you when you come at her. She seems kind of an easy one.”
“(Y/N) is right, she seems kind of an easy one. Give it 5 minutes Tommy boy and then you can get that bitch.”, all of you laughed at that, but in the back of your mind you didn’t want her to touch him. You desperately wished you could claim him in front of everyone, but life wasn’t fair sadly and unless you wanted to die well you could only do so much.
When the five minutes passed Tommy went to the blonde with a predatory grin, saying to both of you. “Take note gentlemen, this is how you woo ladies.”
Both of you laughed and you moved a bit, taking a drink from your glass, observing how he walked to the girl and nearly immediately kissed her neck, probably whispering some sentences to get her. You felt the atmosphere less joyous as you older brother was also observing the scene. There was never bad blood between the two of you but it was clearly not the same kind of love between you and Arthur than you and Tommy (damn right, Arthur was so constipated with his feelings you could easily think he hated you).
“You’re not a fag right?”, you tensed as he asked that. He wasn’t looking at you, but surely from the corner of his eyes he was observing your reaction. You tried not to look uncomfortable and laughed as if he told you a joke.
“Me a fairy? Really? Nah those past weeks Ludy doesn’t looks pretty well so I’m trying to see if anything is wrong with him. And with the mating seasons nearing all the horses are on the edge so I’d like to avoid some of them to get knocked up you know.”, you didn’t like using Ludy for an escape but you didn’t saw any other choices there. Arthur hummed and took a sip of his drink.
“Because I wouldn’t want people to find out my brother’s a sissy. I wouldn’t like to know you’re a sissy. Because if you are…”, he looked at you with a weird glint in his eyes and you were pretty sure that if he knew you were an homosexual there wouldn’t be any blood bond between you anymore and he would murder you. You repressed a shudder and smirked.
“Nah don’t worry about that. I’m just occupied and worried about the horse’s health. But don’t worry next time we go out I’ll pick a cute lass, probably a redhead y’know?”, he laughed and downed the rest of his drink in one go.
“Yeah you always got the weirdest tastes brother.”
You looked back at Tommy who was still flirting with the girl and in a blink of an eye she disappeared, you knew where she went and your brother who probably followed her confirmed your suspicions. After all he always was better at hiding his feelings and acting too and you envied him for that. The thought of sex with any woman was repulsing you and even though you were able to go though it all with prostitutes or random women in bars, you wanted to throw up after every time.
“Oooh little Tommy is getting his fair share of fun with the little blondie. I wonder if she’s a screamer or not.”
“I’m betting she’s more like a squeaky mouse.”
“We’ll see when pretty boy is back!”
The two of you stayed here, discussing and you occasionally threw a lustful gaze to the women in the pub trying to make Arthur think you were watching them while he was flirting with some waitress, sometimes giving them a clap on their ass. You had the time to take another drink until Tommy came back, putting his pants back in place.
Arthur laughed and clapped, attracting a bit of attention that was quickly diverted when you threw them dark looks. Tommy sat back with a smirk and Arthur clapped his shoulder.
“C’mon Tom, how was she? Loud or not?”
“She wasn’t making much noises, but she was tight as fuck.”
“I was right then!”, you hit your older brother on the shoulder with a laugh.
“Tsk for once boy, for once.”
You kept bantering until Arthur decided it was time for him to go back home. You followed him outside and kept discussing for a short moment, observing the surroundings with a distrustful look on your face, after all night was always the best moment to murder people and you wanted to avoid that. You watched as Arthur left and then both you and Thomas started to walk in the opposite direction.
The streets weren’t quiet, from the drunk lads trying to walk to the fights, it was clear it was animated almost as much as during broad daylight. As you turned in a dark and seemingly completely empty street. You pulled Thomas with you and put him against the wall, immediately covering his lips with yours.
He was shocked for an instant and then relaxed in your grasp, kissing you back. After a few seconds of kiss, you stopped pressing him on the wall and licked your lips while looking at him with a spark in your eyes.
“You fucking- You could have waited for us to be more away!”, Tommy whispered with a disbelieved smile on his face.
“I couldn’t wait to kiss this bitch away from you. But don’t worry I’ll finish that somewhere else.”, this time you were the one leaving him hanging as you walked away, hearing his quick steps to join you.
Hopefully for you the maid wouldn’t be home by the time you’d be back or you’d have to keep him extra quiet.
_______________
A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story! Don’t forget to like, reblog and comment if you did and you can leave me a tip on KOFI if you want! Take care <3
#tommy shelby#thomas shelby#thomas shelby x male reader#tommy shelby x male reader#peaky blinder fanfic#thomas shelby x y/n#tommy shelby x y/n#thomas shelby x reader#tommy shelby x reader#x male reader#male reader
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Greek mythology references in Ulysses Dies at Dawn masterpost
I saw a post a while back by @spacetrashpile analysing all the arthurian references in High Noon Over Camelot, and since I know quite a bit about Greek mythology I figured “hey! I should do something like that for Ulysses Dies at Dawn!” I’m just going to go through each of the songs in order and analyse/explain the references in them - hopefully other people will find it interesting!
“The City”
Starting with the title - Ulysses is the Latin name of Odysseus, legendary king of Ithaca and hero of the epic poem The Odyssey. Interestingly, Ulysses is the only character in UDAD who is given a Latin name instead of a Greek one. There’s a couple of potential reasons for this but the most convincing to me is it’s meant to reflect Ulysses’ opposition to the Olympians, who are all based on the Greek gods.
Jonny calls the story a “labyrinthine task of a twisted tale”, referencing the Greek myth of the Minotaur, which was kept in a labyrinth to hide it from the world. This reference becomes even clearer when we later learn the City’s original name.
This one’s less a reference to Greek mythology and more to like, actual history, but the description of the City expanding to cover the whole planet is reminiscent of Greek expansion in ancient times. Ancient Greece was made up of many city-states, or poleis, which established colonies or “daughter-cities”, mostly in western Asia, or “Asia Minor” as the Greeks and Romans called it.
The story opens at a “run-down gin join” called Calypso’s - Calypso is a sea nymph who plays a fairly major role in The Odyssey, keeping Odysseus/Ulysses trapped on her island for seven years.
Fittingly enough, Calypso’s apparently pays money to Dionysus, whose mythological namesake is the Greek god of wine.
Broken Horses
Ilium is the Ancient Greek name for Troy, the city that Greece went to war against, according to myth,. Part of this war is described in the epic poem The Iliad, in which Odysseus is one of the soldiers laying siege to Troy.
Much like the Trojan War of Greek myth, the siege of Ilium is said to have lasted a decade.
Ulysses’ gambit with the horse statue sending out a signal driving the people of Ilium mad is pretty obviously a reference to the Trojan Horse - the wooden horse the Greeks built as a “peace offering” to the Trojans that they used to sneak their soldiers into the City and that brought them victory in the war. Like in the UDAD version, Odysseus/Ulysses was apparently responsible for coming up with this plan.
“Olympians”
Ulysses’ wife is named Penelope, same as Odysseus’ wife in the myths
The Acheron is the name of one of the five rivers of Hades, along with Styx, Cocytus, Lethe, and Phlegethon
As a sidenote, in Greek mythology Hades is the name of the underworld as well as the name of the God of the dead - fittingly enough reimagined in UDAD as the controller of a vast network of half-dead minds (and also Ashes)
The most powerful families in the City are called the Olympians - the name given to the twelve most important deities in the Greek pantheon
Poseidon Industries is named for Poseidon, Greek god of the sea and one of the twelve Olympians. Jonny calls them “one of the architects of the Ilium War”, which seems like an odd reference since iirc Poseidon doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the Trojan War. I guess that’s just there to give Ulysses a reason to want to rob Poseidon Industries.
In the Odyssey, Poseidon hates Odysseus/Ulysses for attacking his son, a cyclops called Polyphemus. In UDAD this is changed to Ulysses stealing the diamond from Poseidon Industries’ laser, which is also called The Cyclops.
My Name is No One
The song’s title and chorus is a reference to Odysseus’ famous trick for escaping the Polyphemus’ cave. He tells the Polyphemus his name is “no one/nobody” (depending on the translation) so that when he attacks Polyphemus and the cyclops tries to call for help, he calls out “No one is attacking me” which obviously none of the other cyclopes take seriously. (There’s also a great pun in the original Greek based on the Greek words for “no one” and “cunning” being very similar, but it loses a lot in translation)
However, just like in UDAD, Odysseus messes up this plan badly by calling out his real name when he’s still too close to the island of the cyclops. (although in the Odyssey it’s motivated by him wanting Polyphemus to know his name so he can get glory, rather than just being drunk)
Odysseus bests the cyclops by taking out his eye (there’s debate around it but cyclopes are generally depicted as having only one eye). Obviously in UDAD the cyclops is a machine not a monster, so this is replaced with the diamond at the heart of the laser being called its “eye”.
Also, I’m not sure if this is an intentional reference, but there is a fun irony to the fact that in the Odyssey, Odysseus tricks Polyphemus by getting him drunk so he can then blind him, while in UDAD Ulysses steals the eye of the Cyclops while drunk themself.
“Trial By Wits”
As well as My Name is No One, the whole concept of no one knowing anything about Ulysses’ appearance, gender etc. could also be seen as a reference to the “My name is nobody” trick, or possibly just a spin on Odysseus being a kind of “archetypal hero” - they could be anyone!
Heracles is better known by his Latin name, Hercules (son of Zeus, demigod, inhumanly strong and all that jazz)!
Ariadne is the name of the Cretan princess who helped Theseus slay the minotaur
Orpheus is another of the most well-known Greek mythological figures - the main myth surrounding him says he went into the underworld to rescue his dead wife Eurydice
Oedipus is most famous as the main character of a famous tragedy. His parents are given a prophecy that he would kill his father and have sex with his mother, and so decided to abandon him. As is so often the case with Greek oracles, he ended up doing both things anyway, seeing as how he, y’know, didn’t know who his parents were. The mechs apparently chose to reference this in the most mature of ways by having Jonny call Oedipus a motherfucker. Kind of a lot.
Aside from committing both patricide and incest, Oedipus’ other achievements in myth included winning a battle of wits against the Sphinx, a monster that was killing anyone who couldn’t solve its riddle. This monster is reimagined in UDAD as a disease that Oedipus finds a cure for.
Riddle of the Sphinx
The chorus of the song is taken almost word-for-word from the riddle asked of Oedipus by the Sphinx: “What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?” The answer to the riddle is “man” - crawls on all fours as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult, and walks with a cane (third leg) in old age. The Mechs being the Mechs, this is made completely literal in the world of UDAD.
“Ulysses’ Will”
Like the Oedipus of myth, UDAD Oedipus also ends up killing his father and marrying his mother without knowing. Since he’s replaced his eyes with data sockets by the time he helps kidnap Ulysses, it’s pretty strongly implied that he blinded himself like mythological Oedipus as well.
The “twenty years of sirens” could be a reference to the twenty years Odysseus spends away from Ithaca in the Iliad and Odyssey
Sirens
The sirens were half-bird half-human creatures that Odysseus encountered as part of the Odyssey and that tried to lure him to his death with promises of knowledge.
As well as referencing this story, the line “let the lotus set you free” references another episode of the Odyssey, where Odysseus and his crew arrive on the island of the Lotus-Eaters. Anyone who eats the Lotus fruits falls into a state of apathy and will never want to leave the island, so it’s a fitting episode to reference in a song about Ulysses drugging themself to escape their memories of war.
“Trial By Strength”
Heracles’ backstory is essentially the same in UDAD as in the original myths: one of the many children of Zeus’ many affairs, except in UDAD Zeus has affairs with women from “the lower levels”, instead of just mortal women.
Favoured Son
The tasks Heracles performs for Zeus are a reference to the most famous myth about Heracles - the twelve labours he performs to atone for killing his family.
The song references “the ferryman” who takes people into the Underworld. In Greek mythology the dead travel to the Underworld in a boat rowed by the ferryman Charon.
In both the myth and in UDAD there are...what you might you might call “extenuating circumstances” for Heracles killing his family - in the myth he’s driven mad by Zeus’ wife Hera (bc she’s very angy about Zeus having all those bastard children with mortal women) but since Hera doesn’t play a role in UDAD this is changed to him being framed by Zeus himself.
In addition to being king of the gods, Zeus is also the god of thunder - which is where Heracles’ nickname “The Thunderbolt of Zeus” comes from
“Loose Threads”
Heracles and Orpheus “Backing up Jason on the fleece job” is a reference to the myth of Jason’s quest for the Golden Fleece along with his crew (the Argonauts), which included Heracles and Orpheus.
Hylas was Heracles’ servant and another member of the Argonauts. While on the quest he was kidnapped by nymphs, and depending on which version of the myth you’re looking at, either fell in love with them and stayed there forever, or was murdered by them (Hylas is also the only character referenced I had to google to even know who they were lol)
Heracles telling Ariadne that “Your dad helped me out once” is presumably a reference to the seventh labour of Heracles: capturing the Cretan bull. Now the story of the Cretan bull is actually really long and ties into a bunch of other myths but essentially it was sent to Ariadne’s father, King Minos, as proof that he was the rightful ruler of Crete. However, Minos ended up helping Heracles by letting him take the bull with him to prove that he’d successfully caught it (which seeing as the bull was destroying Crete at that point doesn’t seem like a huge favour on Minos’ part, but ok)
Trial By Song
UDAD Orpheus shares the mythical Orpheus’ main defining trait: his skill at singing that he used to help him on his journey to the underworld.
Trial By Song is a lot more metaphorical than all the others so there’s not that many direct references to the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice in the lyrics - probably the most direct one is “But all the landmarks moved as I walked past/Now I can’t look back”, which references Orpheus’ deal with Hades that he can take Eurydice back to the world of the living as long as he doesn’t look back at her.
“The viper town that bled me dry” could also be a reference to Eurydice’s death from a snake bite.
“Hades”
UDAD Orpheus’ motivation is the same as mythical Orpheus - wanting to bring back their dead lover from Hades.
Ulysses, Heracles, and Orpheus all visiting the “underworld” is taken directly from mythology (although unlike in UDAD, Ulysses/Odysseus never actually speaks to Hades).
Underworld Blues
In Heracles’ confrontation with Hades, he says that “I was sent here your dog to seize/Of my tasks, of my tasks/This was to be the last”. There’s a couple of points here - the mythology reference is to the last of the twelve labours of Hercules: capturing Hades’ guard dog Cerberus. However, I do wonder whether this is meant to be literal (in which case guys, why are we not talking about the fact that Ashes obtained a pet dog while in The City?), or if this is a similar case to all the mentions of ‘horses’ in High Noon Over Camelot actually being about motorbikes.
Orpheus singing to Hades and trying to convince them to release Eurydice is also taken directly from Greek myth, except instead of being moved by Orpheus’ song and agreeing to release his love like in the myth, Ashes just tells him he’s poor for a bit and then says he should go commit some crimes.
“Trial By Love”:
The general concept of Ariadne’s backstory - her helping Theseus fight the minotaur only for him to abandon her - is the same basic idea as the myth of Ariadne and Theseus. Although UDAD Ariadne is at least a bit more fortunate in the sense that she wasn’t truly in love with her Theseus, and he also doesn’t straight up leave her on a deserted island.
Ariadne’s family creating the minotaur is also part of her character in the myth. The difference is that in UDAD the minotaur was created intentionally, while the mythological minotaur was the result of Poseidon making Ariadne’s mother fall in love with the Cretan Bull as punishment for King Minos not sacrificing it to him (I said the Cretan Bull story tied into a bunch of other myths!)
The presence of the minotaur in the City is yet another thing that makes even more sense when we learn about the City originally being called Labyrinth!
Ties That Bind
Ariadne’s family name is Minos, same as the name of her mythical father King Minos.
Ariadne describes her family’s actions as casting a “dark horned shadow” over her, which references the typical depiction of the minotaur as a man with a bull’s head and horns.
In the myth of the Minotaur, Ariadne helps Theseus by giving him a ball of string that he then unwinds as he walks through the Labyrinth, letting him find his way out again. In UDAD this is changed to “strings of code”, that shut down the minotaurs programming. (And if you think that pun’s bad, just wait until we get to Torn Suits!)
The song’s title also brings to mind string or thread, so it can be seen as a subtler reference to Ariadne’s gift to Theseus. Same for Ariadne’s line about “heartstrings long since cut”.
“The Daidala”
Daedalus, the leader of the Suits, shares a name with the mythical craftsman and father of Icarus
He is rumoured to “trade as an Olympian under the name Hephaestus” - a fitting alias as Hephaestus was the god of craftsmen and artisans like Daedalus
The rumour that he killed his son for “getting too ambitious” references the myth of Icarus, who famously died after literally flying too close to the sun using wings held together with wax. The heat of the sun caused the wax to melt and Icarus to fall into the sea. The story is often interpreted as a warning about the dangers of ambition.
Interestingly, it could also reference another myth surrounding Daedalus - one in which Daedalus kills his nephew Talos because he was jealous of his achievements.
Daedalus is also apparently the architect of The City, which was originally known as Labyrinth. This once again references the labyrinth which held the minotaur, and which Minos forced Daedalus to design. Considering the labyrinth’s purpose in myth, it seems like an appropriate name for a city that keeps all its inhabitants trapped with no way out.
Presumably the Daidala in the title refers to the City: Daedalus’ finest creation. In Homeric Greek, daidala is a word that refers to finely crafted objects such as armour.
This track also has another reference to the Orpheus and Eurydice myth when Orpehus offers to sacrifice himself to open the vault - “But he can’t see it through can he? Flinches, looks back. And it doesn’t work.”
Torn Suits
This song is notable for having quite possibly the worst pun in Mechanisms history - “Ulysses pulls out their snub-nosed laser and fires the last shot, splitting the beam across twelve axes”. This references one of the climactic scenes of the Odyssey, where Ulysses/Odysseus wins an archery competition against his wife’s suitors by shooting an arrow through twelve axe heads. (get it, axes as in the weapons becomes axes as in the plural of axis do you get it?????)
Another, marginally less bad pun is Heracles getting “the lion’s share” of the beams, referencing the popular image of Heracles wearing the skin of a lion he killed as one of his labours.
“Sunrise”
The code to Ulysses’ vault: Elysium, is another word for the Elysian Fields. In certain Greek religions, this was an afterlife separate from Hades’ world where heroes and those chosen by the gods would go after they died.
Ulysses’ vault is revealed to contain the “sole surviving oak tree”, under which Penelope is buried. While it’s not as direct a reference as some of the others, this is pretty clearly inspired by the way Odysseus proves his true identity to Penelope at the end of the Odyssey - by telling her that he carved their bed from a tree still rooted to the ground, something only the two of them know.
The track ends with an homage to Homer’s use of similes in the Odyssey: “And as the weary hound, once more at its master’s feet after so long, lays down with the sunlight warming its fur, breathing its last – even so did the eyes of Ulysses close forever.” Not only is this stylistically identical to Homer’s similes, it also doubles as a reference to Odysseus’ dog Argos, who waited for him for twenty years and finally died when he saw Odysseus again.
Elysian Fields
This is possibly a bit of a stretch but the image of Ulysses lying beneath the last tree, next to where Penelope is buried, especially with how they say they’re “with my beloved” and “beside my wife” really brings to mind the scene in the Odyssey where Odysseus and Penelope lie in their tree-bed together for the first time since Odysseus’ return. Which, incidentally, is theorised by some to be the “real” final scene of the Odyssey and everything after that was added on later, but that’s another story.
That’s everything I’ve picked up on but it’s possible there’s more I’ve missed so let me know if there’s any more! I’d like to thank the Mechs for giving me an opportunity to put my useless and extremely niche knowledge to good use!
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