#this is why my fandom activity is just me and my mutuals. only we Get It
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had to let someone be wrong on the internet today (fandom edition)
#marzi speaks#i stay out of fandom discourse bc while funny i do not think it’s worth my time#but today i was maedascrolling. goin thru his tag#and i saw someone’s little list of ‘here’s why i hate komaeda’#and they were either incorrect or naming the traits that made him a good character#they called him a hypocrite (true) but the example they used was one of the only times he WASN’T being a hypocrite#anywho. he’s weird he’s a freak he sucks and that is why he rules!!!!#ur allowed to not like him but if ur only reasoning is that he’s a bad person i don’t trust ur media literacy as much#like be a hater i am fully ok with that you do you. but a character can do bad things and still be a good character#i was also a little mad that they put their hate in a main tag. don’t tag ur hate with what ur hating on#that’s just etiquette tho#anyways. i moved on with my life but i’m still thinking abt it a lil#this is why my fandom activity is just me and my mutuals. only we Get It
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On unhealthy relationship dynamics
A little while ago, I stumbled across a post discussing Aziraphale's character on a meta level, and without knowing the content, I was completely unprepared when one single sentence pushed me from 'uncomfortable but doable' into 'triggered and panicking'. The post itself was triggering from start to finish, but that phrase stood out to me.
Why am I telling you this?
After calming down and thinking about it for a few hours, I realised what exactly my brain had reacted to—victim blaming rhetoric repackaged to fit Aziraphale and Crowley's situation. Victim blaming is, to provide a short summary, the act of putting blame for mistreatment on the victim instead of the perpetrator. It's a concept often used in r/pe discussions, but it can be applied to any abusive or non-abusive situation as long as a power imbalance is created, meaning you have at least one person harming another in whatever shape or form.
If you broaden the definition, you can apply it to more situations, including—and this is where we reach the actual topic—their relationship and the Final Fifteen (F15).
That is exactly what some people have been doing—putting all the blame on Crowley and absolving Aziraphale of any and all responsibility as if it were his fault that Aziraphale broke his heart
Before anyone runs to the comments, let me clarify what I assume will be the FAQ.
no, I do not think Aziraphale is abusive
I do not think that their relationship is abusive either
no, I do not hate Aziraphale
yes, I know what I am talking about
everything I will talk about is largely based on what we as the audience actually see and know, combined with interpretations of the intentional subtext Neil wrote into the show.
I have been actively in this fandom since the second season was released, and I have seen a lot of (hopefully accidental) ableist & generally insensitive takes. These are the ones I see the most and what I personally consider to be important topics of discussion, but the same logic I will be applying to these can be applied to many, many more situations.
Since my meta posts get very long very quickly, I will be posting them in parts and always linking back to the others, plus this one as the masterpost.
Part 1—Nice Is A Four Letter Word
The basic pattern is this:
Aziraphale refers to Crowley with a 'nice' term -> Crowley gets upset and tells him to stop -> Aziraphale hears him but continues anyway.
There are reasons behind Crowley's rejection, and I will go into detail, but I want to make one thing very clear: It does not matter why Crowley asked him to stop. He set a boundary, and Aziraphale repeatedly and intentionally overstepped it; this causes understandable anger and frustration.
Crowley does not owe Aziraphale an explanation, just like you would not owe someone an explanation when you don't want to be called x-term. Mutual respect requires the acceptance of personal boundaries like that, and by breaking them over and over again, Aziraphale tells Crowley that his own wants are more important than Crowley's needs.
In the 1827 Edinburgh flashback, we see the consequences of Crowley doing good/being called good (which are usually connected, meaning if they notice someone is calling Crowley good, he most likely did something to cause that) firsthand, and so does Aziraphale. He gets dragged down to hell and tortured for up to thirty years.
Even before that, Crowley expresses numerous times how hell punishes good deeds, and they are 'always listening' in on him. You would assume that Aziraphale would stop to keep him safe—and yet he doesn't because he cannot accept the reality of Crowley's situation and refuses to listen to him.
On top of that, Aziraphale only ever "praises" Crowley when he does something he personally sees as praiseworthy, aka something good/kind/nice/angelic/etc. but never when it is something that CROWLEY would like to be praised for, or at the very least acknowledged. We see it in season 2 over and over and over again: Aziraphale cares for no one's thoughts or plans except his own and has no interest in even hearing Crowley out.
Aziraphale calling him nice is not a sweet little gesture, it is an intentional overstepping of a boundary Crowley has been trying to enforce for centuries, and it reinforces the dichotomy of good angels/bad demons, with angelic existence being the ultimate goal. At the very least, it's disrespectful towards Crowley, and at worst, it is actively keeping Crowley in a trauma response, tugging on his leash whenever he tries to explain reality to Aziraphale.
To have a healthy relationship, Aziraphale needs to stop.
part 2 - part 3
#alex talks good omens#good omens meta#crowley meta#aziraphale meta#go meta#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable husbands#ineffable wives#ineffable spouses#ineffable divorce#the final fifteen
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The Dragon Prince & Queer Subtext - Fandom and Media Analysis of Sort
Lately I’ve been pondering about the ins and outs of Viren and Aaravos’s relationship and why they give off such a queer vibe. So I ended up writing this 2 and half Word document pages long little breakdown because why not.
I think what’s going on here is about the underlying elements of the story- subtext and how their relationship could be perceived through a queer lens. Note: my brain has marinated in queer subtext juices my whole life and I have no intent trying to prove my reading is the only right one.
That Sweet Sweet Gay Shit- A Fandom Perspective
There is a lot of queer subtext between them. Homoerotic subtext even. Their scenes together definitely activated the search function in my brain’s queer coded villain trope lexicon.
You know- mutual penetration with a phallic object (knife), sharing some kind of mysterious bond through blood magic, so, you know, bodily fluids are indeed involved, the classic slash fiction trope “we are close but we cannot touch” -gay pining because the mirror separates them. When Aaravos is shown for the first time in the mirror the camera does this Laura Mulvey Male Gaze 101 up-down pan shot of him from Viren’s POV. Something that’s usually reserved for female characters when male characters “check them out” in a movie. And then my personal favourite: Something that comes out of Aaravos enters Viren, comes out and then transforms into a creature with a toddler level intelligence- they made a freaky little metaphor baby together! Awwww!
And let's not even talk about the possession and Aaravos slowly taking over Viren’s body. The aesthetics of a toxic queer romance are all over their interactions.
No, Viren! Don’t express vulnerability as an intimidating male figure! Tumblr will babygirlify you!
Storytelling
So what about their interactions makes me perceive them in a queer way? By “queer“ I mean the broader concept of queer here; does the way the characters are depicted come across non-heteronormative and disruptive to gender norms.
I’m mostly talking about the season 2 here since they share their most intimate scenes together in that season.
1 Story Function
Aaravos and Viren’s interactions are supposed to have multiple purposes in the story: They move the plot forward, characterise both Viren and Aaravos, create emotional conflict and intrigue in the viewer etc. Viren observing Aaravos through the mirror is supposed to create mystery and spark the audience’s curiosity. Viren is a device through which Aaravos’s allure gets demonstrated to the viewer so of course their interactions come across pretty, hm, charged. Anyway there are layers of meaning here the audience can interpret in multiple ways both intuitively and through an analytic lens. The meaning naturally changes the more context we get. There are still three more seasons to come.
2 Gendered Tropes
There is a certain element of seduction present: Viren gives Aaravos more access to himself and his body little by little in exchange for Aaravos fulfilling his desires (for power). This could be read as having sexual undertones. Some of Aaravos’s first words to Viren are clearly something Viren wants to hear “How may I serve you?” Weaponising manipulation and seduction, where a character poses as submissive while having alternative motives, is something female characters traditionally do in stories. I don’t know about you but Aaravos’s character has a bit of a femme fatale thing going on if you ask me (haha!) There is something about him that defies gender roles that’s not just about his androgynous looks.
A traditional Femme fatale is often a tragic figure trapped in unfortunate circumstances. They are shrouded in mystery which prevents the audience from empathising with them or understanding their motives. The character often uses coercion to make their victim do what they want. And yes there definitely is an element of coercion and even a threat of violence present in Aaravos and Viren’s relationship. Their goals are aligned for now but what happens if/ when Viren decides to defy Aaravos? TDP makes me wonder (with horror) what it is that Viren has really agreed to.
3 How the Show’s “Camera” Portrays Aaravos
Even the camera emphasises him as an object of desire. Something he is from the story point of view as well. Viren desires access to Aaravos’s power after all. When the camera puts Aaravos on display in an objectified manner in the beginning of the season 2 it’s supposed to, in my opinion, heighten the feeling of Aaravos seeming harmless at the first glance. And by “objectified” I mean he’s portrayed without agency.
I joked earlier about male gaze and Laura Mulvey but I do actually think there is some truth to that. One of the biggest reasons behind me thinking Aaravos was a pretty pretty lady at first was how he was introduced in such a feminised way. And I wasn’t the only one. Just look at the comments under his TDP Wiki article. (Lots of het men being confused about their sexuality. Also shout-out to that one lesbian). This makes him appear less threatening so the story can build suspense around his true motives. It’s not evident that Aaravos is a completely sinister figure at first, at least compared to Viren who seems more like the main villain of the story prior to the seasons 3-4. Little did we know back then that Aaravos was the true alpha male of this whole sordid affair.
Aaravos in the mirror from Viren’s point of view, season 2, episode 3.
Why I’m not mentioning anything about Viren’s gender performance is because his story conflict is all about struggling with traditionally masculine gender expectations. Understanding how his character relates to hegemonic/ toxic masculinity/ emotional struggles men face in real life is a core part of understanding his character as a whole. That’s a broad topic and this post is long enough as it is so I’m going to leave it at that. (Maybe someone else has written about that already?)
4 The Audience Is Also at Aaravos’s Mercy
Aaravos’s submissive façade is supposed to fool both Viren AND the audience. The show plays rather cleverly with the audience’s expectations here. Slowly the roles are starting to flip until it’s clear that Aaravos is the one in control. Given Aaravos narrates the opening of the first story arc it raises even more questions: Is his control over Viren supposed to parallel his control over the whole world of the show? This circles back to the show’s themes of freedom vs destiny. It feels almost meta in a way how the story’s villain tries to gain control over the whole narrative.
5 Horror and Fantasy
The powerplay between the characters naturally creates a plenty of tension and it’s not unusual that this translates into something sexually charged in the audience’s minds. While this is the perspective I’m the most interested in, there are other layers to Aaravos and Viren’s scenes together.
For example this kind of breaking of bodily boundaries is common in horror as well. Aaravos is beautiful and mysterious but is also associated with repulsive things like larvae and blood and there is something very eerie about him in general. These kinds of emotional reactions of repulsion and attraction are essential to horror. The audience sees that everything isn’t definitely quite right about him but it’s also understandable that the audience (and Viren) find him fascinating. I think the key word for these scenes in the season 2 is “ambiguity“. Even if you aren’t invested in these characters this show would be much less fun without all the nuance their interactions have.
In a good story everything isn’t just literal. Especially since TDP is a fantasy story- A genre that’s traditionally been all about symbolism and intertextual references. I could go on and on about the genre traditions with similar flavour to what Aaravos and Viren have. Michael Moorcock’s classic sword and sorcery antihero Elric of Melniboné and his pact with the demon Arioch comes to mind.
Something Something Fandom
Viravos as a ship lives in the subtext but the subtext isn’t always black and white. Fiction uses metaphor and other storytelling methods to create meaning- To give a narrative experience. The queer subtext in TDP feels very elaborate to me and while I’m dissecting these scenes more analytically here my emotional reactions are the original source of that interest. No matter how much time passes I’m still a morbid teenage goth at heart and that part of me loves the dark fairytale aesthetics akin to TDP season 2.
I didn’t even touch on the element of Viren giving into a “forbidden desire” (literally his desire for power but- you know- multiple readings etc.) when making a deal with Aaravos. Something very typical to the horror genre as well. It’s a “deal with the devil” -sort of situation and those stories often paint the agreement as something corruptive and sinful and therefore transgressive. This post by Tiredsunrisesmeta got you covered on that. Also queer coded villains something something- Anyway, read Tiredsunrisesmeta’s blog for more.
Pictured: Yours truly
Last and Least
I remember when I saw a post here saying that “Viravos couldn’t be canon because it’d be too sexy.” and that’s just the funniest way to put it in my opinion. Their relationship feels a bit too, I dunno, mature? for this show. But what does “canon” even mean? Is a gay ship canon when two characters of the same gender kiss and declare their love? Get married? Have kids? Personally, I don’t want to see LGBT+ characters’ stories just copy straight romance tropes beat by beat all the time. I want something that feels authentic and what’s more authentic than Viren being a cringefail bisexual getting rejected by men and women and then getting his life ruined by the sexy femboy elf satan? Kinda iconic honestly.
#thanks for the canon mpreg tdp#viravos#tdp viren#viren#tdp aaravos#sarasade text#the dragon prince meta#tdp meta
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Happy Ending | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Note: This has been ghosting around in my head for some time now because of the song "Wallpaper" by Megan Cromwell. I noticed that whenever I don't have the pressure of a request in the back of my head for a story it's much easier to write. That's why I wrote this rather easily and quickly. I just wanted to post something again lol. So yeah, have some good ol' super dramatic angst. I'll be more active again hopefully.
Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)
Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love, Mentions of NSFW Stuff, Trauma, Reader has some Issues
Summary: Ghost wants a happy ending but not with you.
Word Count: ~2k
If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)
Masterlist
Call sign: Vigil
"We can't do this anymore."
You had known from the start that sleeping with him was a bad idea.
Generally, people advise you against sleeping with a co-worker. Because it makes things complicated. Even more complicated when you're both in the military.
Because technically you’re not allowed to fuck, your actions could be clouded by emotions, potentially risking not only your but the lives of your fellow operators as well. But that little clause in your contract was printed in that tiny font, and so you decided to ignore it.
It didn’t stop you from getting involved with your lieutenant. You were never a big fan of rules after all. Your rank as a sergeant after so many years of service in the military said enough about that.
But at the start, you truly believed that a physical relationship with him wouldn't cause trouble to you or anyone else.
You thought you had it under control. At least in the beginning.
Yes, you had been attracted to him since your first meeting when you had signed your contract with Taskforce 141. Mysterious men were your thing, and he embodied such a man with his skull mask.
So yeah, you did allow yourself to daydream about him, and have some dirty thoughts every once in a while. It wasn’t like you were the only one.
You were attracted to him and you knew he was attracted to you. It was mutual and actually pretty obvious.
You could feel his searing gaze on you just a few days after you had joined the taskforce; the way his eyes trailed up and down your body. The looks he gave you were charged with want.
But attraction doesn't necessarily lead to a romantic relationship, right?
He was a good-looking man in your opinion; tall, rugged, buff, with muscles and fat in the right places, just the way you liked it.
His face couldn't be considered conveniently attractive yet that made it so much better for you. The arch in his brows, the dark eyebags, the scars on his cheeks, his cheekbones. He was your type. And his rough appearance fuelled the fire in your lower stomach and your imagination.
What was the harm in joining him in the sheets and having a bit of fun? It wasn't like you loved him.
That’s what you had asked yourself.
It was much better to get rid of your pent-up frustration with him instead of a toy or a rare one-night stand when you were off-duty. And damn, was he good in bed.
Rough, fast-paced, keen to try out every possible position, and not shy of pleasing you. You could've expected it. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Dirt, blood, sweat, and other fluids... It didn't matter.
Short summary: It was pure ecstasy every time.
You two had lots of fun together in lots of different positions and locations, and that was all it was. Just some fun.
No strings attached, as you both declared at the start. Just fuckbuddies.
"I'm not a relationship kind of guy, Y/N" he had told you after you had spent your first time together.
You had snorted because shit, you weren't either. Both of you were too broken and bruised by the baggage of your pasts. Your traumas would probably weigh you both down in the long run. So you were fine with the line he had drawn between you.
It was okay. No emotions, no obligations, no lovey-dovey shit, just a means to an end.
Just a meeting in your room after a mission, a phone call on your days off, then a quick meet-up in a hotel. Just pleasure. Not love.
Until it wasn't just that anymore.
You two had settled into a routine where he would join you in your room late every other night.
After you had pleasured each other enough, he would leave soon after, and somehow - with time, you began to miss the warmth next to you on your bed.
The feeling came slowly creeping, and it took you by surprise.
You never asked him to stay; you didn't dare cross the line. To ask for a bit more affection. But you wished.
That he held you just a bit closer during the act. That he remained next to you just for a few more minutes after it. That he kissed your scars, your lips. That he touched you as if you were something, someone precious to him. Someone important.
Sure, you liked it when he treated you like an unbreakable object when his grip left bruises on your body - in a way, they satisfied your need for more. They marked you as his. But just for once, you wanted to be treasured by him. To feel that you meant something more to him.
You didn't know when your feelings for him had turned into a fluttering mess in your chest. He wasn't just a means to an end anymore. You valued him. Not just as a soldier who had your back. Not just as a friend. But as a man, a partner. A man you wanted close to you. For the rest of your life. No matter how long that would be.
Because Simon had done something no one else had been able to do before.
He made you wish. For a future. A future with him.
He made you wish to be better, to be a little less broken. To pick up the pieces that had once made you whole. You wanted to be better. A better version of yourself. For him. To have a chance to be truly happy. To get that fairy tale life others dream about – you once had dreamed about when you were younger, your shoulders lighter.
His attention made you excel, it made you stronger, faster, harder. You were just better when he was around. A better soldier, a better woman, a happier person.
And you thought, no, believed that he understood that. That he helped you to be better. That you needed him. Not just in your bed, but by your side. As your other half.
You both were people of few words, so you thought that through your actions, your eagerness during missions, and your gentle touches during your time together, you conveyed all these feelings. That he got it, saw how you felt about him.
But you never spelled it out. Never said; I've come to love you.
Just let these feelings simmer under your heart, hoping that one day he'd get what you felt for him.
"We can't do this anymore, Vigil."
You'd love to say that it came as a surprise when he, one day, called you to meet up and told you these words.
But you knew subconsciously. Felt it. Long before he actually said the words, they were coming.
His calls had been less frequent, his visits rarer, and to your confusion, his eyes began to look different whenever you saw him. They looked clearer, and happier.
Only after you saw him at the party after your successful operation in Chicago did you understand. He did look happier.
But not because of you.
And only then did you realize that your brain had played a trick on you. You were so consumed by your feelings for him that you didn't realize how big the rift between you two had gotten.
He laughed.
Simon Riley laughed heartily for the first time since you knew him. Not just one of his usual chuckles that he reserved for your or Soap's jokes.
No, true deep laughter that came from deep within his chest.
And all because of a joke that the woman next to him had told him.
You didn't know her; you had never even seen her face before. She was a complete stranger to you, and yet Ghost rested a hand on her hip as if she belonged to him. As if she was his fucking girlfriend.
Soap looked at you, then who you were staring at.
"That's Ghost's new lass, I heard. Can't believe that guy found someone before us, eh? Surprised me too, I tell ya."
His words were like poison, and you tasted bile in your mouth. So much made sense to you now.
"Why not? I thought you liked it?! I enjoy it every time."
"That's not relevant anymore. I'm just telling you, Y/N. This thing is done. I won't come here anymore."
"But-"
"Let's just forget this happened, alright?"
"...."
"Okay."
You hadn't even been able to argue. Or tell him your feelings.
After all, you were the one who said you could never be in a relationship with him or fall in love with him. It was pathetic to get back on your words and admit it in front of him.
So you just shut your mouth and accepted his words for the time being.
A tiny voice in your head whispered that you could tell him your feelings later when he calmed down a bit. When he started to miss you.
You knew the whole situation with Hassan was getting to him and the others, so you cut him some slack. You thought he would change his mind. Believed it. Blindly.
But now, here you were. Looking like a fool. Feeling like one. Being one.
And the thing was, you couldn't even say anything to him.
He was the one who made you happy. Who made you want to be better. Less traumatized, more whole.
You could see in his eyes that she was that to him. Not you.
So, what right did you have to intervene?
You wanted him to be happy, after all.
How could you deny him that? You both had gone through so much.
She seemed to be the complete opposite of you. She basically glowed in the room, her smile radiant, and her aura was light as if the world had blessed her to never know hardship.
Her frame was soft, and her skin unblemished, untainted by the cruelty and darkness that existed in the world.
You couldn't help but compare yourself to her.
Your cracks, the marks of your trauma, made themselves known through various scars on your body. Your hands were rough, covered with old blisters; so unlike hers, and you were all jagged and sharp edges, while she looked so cute and bubbly.
You could see her appeal, and it hurt to think that way, but in another world, in different circumstances, you could see her as your potential friend. She just had the appearance and aura of someone who people gravitated toward. A soothing soul.
In that sense, you could understand Ghost. Why he searched her side. But you fucking hated it.
As lovely as she seemed, right now in this bar; you couldn't help but despise her.
She took him from you.
A voice whispered in your head. The ugliness of that thought made you want to throw up, because didn't it prove that you weren't completely right in the head?
Ghost wasn't your property. He had his own free will, and just because she appeared didn't mean she stole him away.
After all, he never belonged to you anyway.
This was probably why Ghost didn't chose you, you thought to yourself. Your ugly jealousy and possessiveness were rearing their heads.
I wouldn't choose myself either.
You felt like crying, but you couldn't even do that.
You hadn't cried for years now, and although the pain in your heart was worse than any of the bullet wounds you had received during your career, not a single tear welled up in your eyes.
You were truly broken. And the man who could fix you wasn't at your side. He would never be.
You looked at the two of them once more. An ugly thing clawed at your chest, begging to get out. Your vision turned red. You clenched your fists.
You had to get out of here. Now.
"You okay, Vigil?" Soap asked next to you, noticing that you seemed a bit off.
"Yeah. I just- think I didn't turn my stove off. I got to go."
You mumbled before you turned around and hurried to the exit of the bar. Soap tried to protest, but you were out the door before he could even finish his sentence:
"But you just arrived- Damn... off she goes."
He sighed and looked towards that woman and Ghost. They made eye contact. As if Simon was already looking at him. Or you.
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare ii#modern warfare II#modern warfare 2022#simon riley#simon riley x fem reader#x fem reader#ghost x fem reader#ghost x female reader#ghost#soap#john soap mctavish#simon ghost riley#soldier reader#141!reader#special forces reader#fem reader#fanficsforheartandsouls
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Hey there! I hope you’re having a good day. I just saw a post you made about Dream’s type romantically. Thoughts on Calliope and Dream’s relationship specifically? It always stands out to me how though Dream has had a number of lovers throughout the millennia, Calliope is the only one he married. (And of course, Melissanthi Mahut and Tom Sturridge’s blistering chemistry in the show is an additional component for me xD but feel free to respond only based on the comics if you wish!)
Hey, always happy to see your asks in my inbox!
So, first of all; I don’t care what everyone else thinks:
Dream and Calliope are the OTP even though I’m not a shipper. There, I said it, hit me over the head with a hammer, I live well in that tiny little corner of fandom 🤣
Conceptually, they are very, very alike. There is definitely something in there about dreams marrying epic poetry (and eloquence!) that’s just so on the nose.
But I also can’t help thinking: Slight power imbalance maybe, and we also get this more directly via the “all gods get born and die in the Dreaming.” I think often about how this would have played out for them once Calliope’s last worshippers have died—it’s certainly a tough one, even if their relationship hadn’t soured.
But even so: She is the Muse of Epic Poetry, he is the Prince of Stories, so there is A LOT of overlap between what they stand for. And hence, a lot of mutual understanding. They always struck me as *getting* each other (probably why they fell in love in the first place)—until they didn’t. The fact they didn’t live together was good for them I think, because thoughts need to be allowed freedom to form and develop. Plus, there’s also a lot to be said for Calliope keeping her independence that way. Not just in terms of personhood, but again if you think of how she was essentially created in, and will return to, the Dreaming. It’s probably wise for her (in conceptual terms) not to hang out there ALL the time?
She seems a lot more grounded in the mortal world than Dream is though. I always thought that was down to the fact that humans know her, as in actively worship her/ask her for inspiration, which must make her much closer in a way? Because bar a few, no one really *knows* Dream exists, although everyone does, if that makes any sense? Mortals know him on a subconscious level (that’s why he’s forever nebulous and *lonely*), but people know Calliope as a deity and seek connection explicitly. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here, but to me, that was always a reason why, although a goddess, she seemed far less removed from the mortal plight than Dream was (at least when they were still an item—we all know he changed, even if he didn’t admit it [well, he did in the end to Nuala, which is a whole ‘nother topic]).
And when I think about why they didn’t work out, I can only think: “Orpheus”.
I mean yes, she said that they were already starting to drift apart slightly before she was with child, but there was still a lot of love between them even so. I think the death knell was to have a child on these wonky foundations. Why they did, we’ll never know.
Conceptually, there’s again something very deep and painful about dreams and poetry becoming something real. And then, that mortal child becoming immortal (until his father finally intervenes). But Orpheus was still all mortal and human to his core, even when he became immortal for a while, and that was *always* at the base of their rift. But I digress…
Back to why was Orpheus the death of their marriage? Dream’s advice to Orpheus was sound, yet it was unfeeling and lacked empathy. Calliope’s was maybe (?) not as reasonable, but she understood her child because a mother’s love is (usually) unconditional. We all know Dream’s wasn’t for a long time although it should have been.
I think if they’d all sat together as a family, supported their son in his grief in a balanced way, this whole catastrophe could have been avoided (I mean no, not really—it’s a tragedy, “doomed by the narrative” and all that). But all of Dream’s relationships (be that to his son or his lovers) fail because he is unreality (hence he has a hard time when things quite literally get real), and despite *knowing* mortals on a very deep level, I don’t believe he truly *understood* them at this point. But I think Calliope did—maybe due to who she was, maybe just because she actually *allowed* them in? Because Dream never truly did that. And when he finally did and truly understood what unconditional love actually means, he came apart at the seams and unravelled.
There’s also something really interesting conceptually in thinking of the Prince of Stories who doesn’t believe he has his own, and the Muse of Epic Poetry who inspires. Who is trying to control whom in this scenario? It’s mirrored in how they behave when the whole Orpheus tragedy takes off:
Calliope tries to inspire and, dare I say try to control the narrative a bit, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, quite the opposite: She looks for the most favourable outcome for everyone involved, even if it means bending the rules: She tries to convince Dream to put in a good word with Hades and believes he would listen because Gods respect him and, dare I say it, are even a bit scared of him.
Dream is rigid. Which is so mind-bending for someone who is the personification of hopes, wishes and possibility. But he is an immovable object: If he’s right, he’s right. That’s the rules, that’s it. And he won’t bend them, not even for his son. I’m not saying that it’s not understandable from his point of view, because he might know things we don’t (potentially also that although he *could* bend the rules because he has the power to do so, it might have knock-on effects no one else can understand or see—it’s impossible to say), only that they are fundamentally different in their approach although they are *both* about inspiration. And inspiration is so closely related to bringing on change (ouch!).
Part of me wants to say that Calliope uses it to control the narrative while Dream doesn’t, that Calliope believes that we can change our destiny while Dream doesn’t, but that’s also too simple. Because Dream *can* be controlling, but in totally different ways and areas.
I feel like I’m rambling out a lot of unordered thoughts, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that Dream and Calliope were so close because they are so similar in so many ways bar one:
Their understanding how inspiration can be used to bring on change. I would somehow go as far as saying that Calliope understands what it means to have personhood, also for herself, and that’s why she understands it in others (I think this is made *very* clear when Richard Madoc holds her hostage). Dream doesn’t—least not at the point where it would have mattered with regards to their relationship, because I think the fishbowl has changed him in that regard. This is also why he wants to make things right with her I believe. But of course he would never openly admit it (he basically stops himself before blurting it out), simply because it would also mean he’d need to admit it to himself…
With regard to that meta:
I definitely think they were highly romantically attracted, purely down to who/what they are. I can’t say too much about their sexual attraction, but after Calliope’s speech at his wake, it would be somewhat unlikely to assume they weren’t 🙈🤣
Was it unconditional though? No.
Was it pragmatic (that sounds so bad and unfeeling, but it’s not a bad thing, because a certain level of pragmatism is what grounds love in reality and makes it last)? I think they tried. But ultimately, he can never live that way because he is unreality, and I often wonder if they both knew 😭
@two-hands-toward-the-sun ask answered
#the sandman#sandman#dream of the endless#morpheus#sandman meta#calliope sandman#calliope#sandman analysis#sandman character analysis#ask answered#asks always open
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❝ Is it chill that you're in my head? ❞ ─── mari's mutuals!
WRITER'S LIST OF (DELULU) COMRADES!
in which, mari shows you who she builds friendships with even through online! also, love toya aoyagi ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ
. . .@melops-postoffice! ( Lili / she/her / they/them)
or rather formerly known as liqi's-postoffice, if desire any type of manhwa/isekai type of fanfic then you'll definitely going to love her project! especially if you're also a fan of akuneko (devil butler with a black cat). of course, she's into a lot of fandoms like project sekai, cookie run kingdom, honkai star rail, etc!
. . .@sweetkiitsunez! ( Kiit / she/her / they/them )
well, kiit actually restarted her acc in tumblr so, make way for her rebirth of a acc! kiit's one amazing person even though i've only met kiit through discord but, still one awesome person! please be warned that kiit's works may have dark theme so, please be responsible in what you read.
. . .@herri-writes! ( Herri / she/her )
the reason why I found ensemble stars, no joke. girlie hasn't been rather active since I think she's busy with schoolworks and her private life (she's much older than me) though her works are quite on point. I recommend her acc for anyone!
. . .@invui! ( Yinnie / she/her )
the one I used to bully back in the server, especially when it was june back then hehe. this acc is actually her sideblog I think, with her main acc tagged there of course. I honestly recommend her acc for anyone especially if you're a fan of kpop!
. . .@bianjay! ( Keith / he/him )
this guy is one cutie-patootie once you chat/meet him, seriously! also, this is yin's kid, everyone say hi to him. he's also a kpop stan alongside his mom, like mother, like son they say. his acc is mostly reblogs about kpop, often TXT, memes, gifs, etc. though, I think he's also into some fandoms outside of kpop.
. . .@moonvityy! ( Emmie / she/her )
if i remember correctly, emmie and kiit are like the oldest among us here. it's no wonder why emmie got that mama bear vibes lol and is a lamli bennet simp fr. say hi to lamli's wife, everyone hehe.
. . .@xlvr-renas! ( Karu/Xin / he/him / they/them )
my ride and die bestie when it comes to teasing the others💗I think he, alongside with Keith, would send c'mon, baby, america memes in the serve and then due to that, I felt goofy and send a meme myself. boschi simp.
. . .@fwoomiufy! ( Miu / she/her )
ammon lead's wife, everyone! besties since we too are delulu about certain butlers hehe, though, a sweetheart one! I, alongside some in the server, send ammon fan arts and she just malfunction.
. . .@pudding-pompurin, @pluckpleepplop!
they're rather new mutuals of mine! I hope we can get along real well (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
. . .@reikaoproducer! ( Kiyo / she/her / he/him / they/them )
ngl, I'm a huge fan of their project sekai sideblog! can't believe that their main acc is mutuals with lil' ol me ヾ(•ω•`)o! I recommend any of their acc like seriously! their writing is so good and the way the scenario or story goes it's like heaven!
. . .@sukiyukiii! ( Suki/Yuki / she/her / they/them )
a newcomer in the tumblr app, everyone say hi! yuki is actually my best friend in real life so, gotta be more careful with my post since two of my bestfriends are now following me ( of course, I followed back ). thank you for the genderbent project sekai au, especially the Eizou, crumbs 💛💛💛 I recommend project sekai users there to interact nicely to her! she's a sweetheart dw!
. . .@emoszart! ( Scarlet / they/them )
another one of my bestfriends in real life now taking form into a tumblr acc. her mind is one of the reasons why I'll take HUMSS. I recommend her acc for those who want like a dark, mysterious, fantasy type of lore and drawing! she's one of the best artist, I can assure you that ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ
WRITER'S END NOTE!
so, yeah! that's all my mutuals for now! overall, all are lovely people to interact with so don't be nervous around them. ′ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
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I'm sorry I need to vent but I don't get having mutuals. I thought it's how people on tumblr/twitter make friends (which seems that's how a lot of them treat it) but I found myself getting mutuals when some blogs I follow follow back. I thought they wanted to be friends since that's how they are with their other mutuals but other than like some of my posts when they started following me, they don't really interact with any of my posts now. We only have one fandom in common and I don't really posts much about that and when I do, they don't even like it or anything. It can't even be cause I reblog other people's stuff about that fandom cause they're following those people, too.
I don't understand why they're following my blog when they don't have a reason to be here? Is it those "follow for follow" things? It just makes me feel, I dunno strange(?), I guess, seeing my follower count and I could count on one hand how many of them still like my posts occasionally and none of those are my mutuals.
I wish there's a way to just remove them from my followers without removing me from their followers cause I still very much like their posts. It'd just be awkward softblocking them and then following again and they'd be notified and maybe they'd wonder why (if they even remember me at this point).
--
What the hell, anon?
How you make friends is by talking to people.
I don't even follow back half the people I actually talk to on tumblr because I forget. I never see likes. They're hidden on my activity page because who the fuck cares about likes?
I have people on here who reblog me frequently whom I rarely publicly interact with. You'd think I'm snubbing them. In fact, we're offline friends.
I have people I consider dear internet friends whom I chat with on a weekly or even daily basis in private whom you'll rarely see me talk to here even though this is how we met.
How I can tell if I'm friendly acquaintances with someone is by us talking enough that I remember who they are. I'm really bad at remembering internet handles as discrete individuals if I've never met the person. Once I start to actually remember you, it means something.
How I can tell we're friends is that we've built some emotional intimacy, usually by talking in private, often about our actual lives or, even more tellingly, our philosophies, aspirations, and struggles with making art.
If I can be vulnerable with someone in private in a way I wouldn't be publicly on tumblr, then we're friends. Of course, you never know if it's precisely mutual on the exact same level on a given day, but nothing in life is guaranteed.
Having shared fandoms is irrelevant.
Whether you are mutuals is irrelevant.
Likes are irrelevant.
Reblogs with no commentary are irrelevant.
If you don't meaningfully interact with the person, you are not friends.
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btw, since people love lying about me on this website:
i have not known lolthia for a year like they claim. i first learned of lolthia about a month ago when i noticed their racist treatment of my friend. it was by chance we learned of their goretober list that had abuse glorification with prompts like medical/drugged torture, kidnapping, and stalking. we were able to see that lolthia had a pattern of writing yandere, murder, and other gross topics with a quick search of their blog. THAT is why i decided to say something and call them out. period
x
i find it kind of hilarious that you're claiming to have blocked me from servers and discord so you don't have proof. i wonder if you would even know my discord, yknow, the one handle i haven't changed in years. i mean, surely if you have me blocked you would be able to pull that up easy right? let's not forget the fact that you're claiming to know me personally when you cannot even get my pronouns right.
x
the funny part about this is that barely anyone who rb'ed your callout weren't even your mutuals, with a good amount of people actually adding in the notes how fed up they were with your bullshit. i am not a big enstars blog. i'm not even talking about enstars right now. i am a small blogger with less than 100 followers who ships with the only two minor characters in enstars. a majority of people who have rb'ed your callout are not big enstars bloggers. we are small time selfshippers just trying to have a fun time on tumblr dot com. the only one who is willfully taking themselves out of the fandom or even the circle of enstars selfshippers is you. you willfully create harmful content, you paint yourself as the victim, and you refuse to apologize for multiple things such as your racism and suicide baiting.
x
i am nice to others because they are not winding up their victim complex to make me look like the bad guy. again, if you have legitimate proof that we were once friends: look at your blocklist (or your server blocklist) and post my handle. i dare you. but then again, you probably couldn't do that considering you don't know what the username is. i think the funniest thing about it is that you can't even be bothered to post the server name, can't even bother to explain how we met (shocker considering i've only been into enstars actively for like barely a year now), it is you saying "well this is clearly my word against his" when you can't even provide the basic proof that you and i ever knew each other. you probably DON'T want me to post the ask where you said that you had finally found me and lamented that we could even be friends now if i would take back my words and be the bigger person. but then again, you kind of admitted that yourself when you said you didn't know who made the callout and even said it could be multiple people because you didn't know, but hey, let's take back that and spin it as a long rooted hate campaign by me. x
btw, when i first made this post, i held off on posting it because i haven't received nonanon asks for this, so i was able to chalk it up to you just trying to send more anons toward me to get me painted as the villain, but since this morning i woke up to you making a callout post about me that was filled with lies and fake screenshots it's about time i speak up. you may have deleted it, but don't worry, i made sure to screenshot everything you said and put it in an imgur album to refresh your memory. right here, don't worry, i took every screenshot word for word so you can remember what you said.
i'm not going to post every single screenshot to this. i think it would be insane behavior to make this post even longer. so let me just some up my feelings:
in your fake screenshots not only did you try to blur out what my name was (probably because these are not actually talking about me, but hey, you thought you could make it work, right?) but you proceed to, once again, continuously use the wrong pronouns for me, which is kind of weird since you're claiming to have known me for a year.
let me reiterate this so you get it through you thick skull: i use he/it pronouns and have been doing so for years now. your callout and screenshots repeatedly uses the wrong pronouns for me. do not even bother claiming you didn't know or that i recently changed them as my past blog and every single friend i'm close with will testify to my pronouns, and i'm absolutely sick of you misgendering and degendering me and my identity. considering you've been sending me several asks you could have easily looked and my pronouns in both my description and pinned, but hey, that's another lie for you, right?
then you post a screenshot of a server main chat, but it's very convenient of you to 1.) not get the server name and 2.) leave out the date you sent it, yknow, the things that you could at least say we shared together. i wonder why you didn't bother to get that information if it was so important. oh wait, i do! it's because you are deliberately lying about me to paint yourself as the victim.
i'm not going to even dissect the lies you weave together because, once again, you are speaking without proof. this is not a case of "my words against his" you are deliberately spreading lies on the grounds that you think no one will fact check you, you tool. again, if i was such a danger to you that i would deliberately make several accounts to surpass your "ban", why would you not post my discord username or the "alt accounts" i made to protect others for safety? why don't you do so now? oh! it's because you don't know them and are lying through your teeth.
i did not send you an ask where i told you that you needed to change your goretober list to get rid of the necrophilia. if i did, how about you post it with my url and call me wrong. not to mention the biggest thing i called you out on was the fact that you were glorifying and romanticizing abuse with drugged torture, kidnapping, and stalking. but sure let's gloss over that part because that would make you look bad!
there is nothing out of context in what you said or did, it is in plain english, several screenshots where you demonized a selfshipper of color because "they were more popular than you", pulled several excuses out of your ass to ship with a 16 year old, and put suicide baits in the main enstars tags, oh but don't worry! in your eyes the enstars fandom deserved it! and you want to paint yourself as innocent? give me a fucking break.
and the absolute gall of you to proclaim you acted like this because of your bpd, which you're still rb'ing sad bpd posts now. the nerve of you to assume i am not neurotypical when i have been struggling with autism and adhd all my life, and my own bpd for the past 14 years since i was diagnosed. it is not an act of ableism to call you out on your disgusting behavior towards people of color and abuse victims. i don't care about your backstory. you know exactly what you are doing and say that you are "exploring dark themes". no one believes you, and no one ever will. and miss me with that "i didn't know the shipper's race" as if you did not see the commissions you were directly complaining about them that shows them as not white very obviously. but hey, what's one more lie for you?
just so you know: every single ask you have sent me i have kept. from where you pretended to be 10 different people, all from your original ask where you think we should "just talk it out" without you taking any accountability, thanking me for the callout, pretending to be anons sticking up for you, and even threatening me with fake evidence that i have been in enstars servers sending death threats. but hey, since i didn't respond to those so you could have ammunition as so you could say i'm stalking you and villainizing you, i guess the next step would be a callout!
i will never be as obsessed with you as you are with me. you are the stupidest person on this planet if you genuinely thought i would not catch wind of what you were doing, from sending me and my friends and mutuals several asks to deliberately lying about me on your own blog. you have sent me over 50 asks in 24 hours, spamming my inbox with anons, but you couldn't even bother changing your typing style. you can't be bothered to tell people to watch out for this discord user because, again, you don't even know who i am. you can spin a web of lies to cover your ass, but barely anyone sees through it, and no amount of anons you send yourself will never convince anyone, especially strangers who has seen your blog. i do not care about how you no longer can look forward to your sick goretober where you glorify the abuse that real people go through. i am a grown adult with a job, school life, friends, pets, and so much more. maybe you could be the same if you shaped up and stopped being on tumblr. touch some grass for once. no one will believe you. i will not delete your callout. you have deliberately done horrible acts and acted like you were being demonized because "the enstars fandom and selfshippers are mean and cliquey", as if people don't see right through what you post without care and how you act. either apologize for what you have willfully done or log off and deactivate. i don't care which. leave me alone, leave my friends and mutuals alone, and grow up.
btw, i figured i would also throw this in the enstars tags so people would know about your horrible act and how you have treated me and demonized me for the past two days for standing up for my friends and the people you've hurt. here's the original callout btw, just in case anyone's new here! i don't care how badly you say this affects you because, again the only person trying to demonize you is you yourself. you lie about every aspect to save your ass and i will not take it. i mean, you tagged my "callout" with enstars tags (despite the fact that i never interact with the enstars fandom and have been talking about brc for the past month) but hey! if you wanna act like a clown i'll treat you like one.
you are an absolute moron if you think 1.) anyone would believe you considering your past behavior and 2.) thought i would just lay over and start crytyping for an apology. you are 20 years old acting like a spoiled toddler who got punished for throwing toys at others. i have more resolve, a backbone, and friends that will always care for me and support me, sorry if you can't relate. fuck you
#leo post#lolthia#ensemble stars#enstars#tw racism#tw suicide#tw suicide bait#ok to rb#if you can help me spread this that'd be great#i am absolutely sick of lolthia's treatment of me and it's important to me that it gets addressed.
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why I, as a Regulus stan, don't ship Jegulus
With the disclaimer upfront that I'm not saying nobody should. I know I have mutuals who do. Y'all are cool. We can ship and let ship. But I don't ship them, and here's why.
I don't care for how Regulus is usually characterized in the context of Jegulus. I prefer him redeemable, but morally gray; someone who was influenced by family and peer pressure but ultimately made his own bad choices and later changed his mind, not someone who was forced into every bad thing he ever did. I'm sure there are Jegulus fics out there where he is more morally gray. But from what I've seen, he's often a bit too sanitized for my taste.
I don't care for how James is usually characterized, either. Sunshine boy who wants to believe the best of everyone? I don't see it. In canon he's very loyal and caring towards his friends, but there's no evidence he would have a nuanced point of view towards someone like Regulus, particularly during their late teenage years when Regulus is actively espousing blood supremacist ideology and working for the Death Eaters.
(Which doesn't mean I think Regulus is unworthy of love. I just don't think it's likely James, specifically, would have liked him very much during the time period when they would have known each other in canon)
Because of this, I can only imagine Jegulus in a context very far removed from canon: either a Muggle AU, a no Voldemort AU, an AU where Regulus runs away with Sirius, etc. None of those are very interesting to me. It could also work if Regulus survives and ends up in the Order, which is a favorite trope of mine, but I'd just as soon see that with a different ship or no ship for Regulus and keep Jily together.
I ship Jily. Which isn't necessarily an obstacle, because I'm willing to multi-ship basically anybody except Tedromeda. I can totally get on board with the idea that one or both of them had another relationship before they got together, or that in a canon divergence story where one of them survives, they might eventually move on with someone else. But because I do ship Jily, I'm not really looking for someone else to ship with James.
Who Regulus ends up with romantically, if anybody, is the least interesting thing about him imo. I'll read fics where he's paired up romantically, and I've written a few of them - although I also have a long ongoing series where he's aro-ace. Having a romance arc for Regulus at all is 100% optional as far as I'm concerned.
The "best friend's brother" thing - I think it mischaracterizes Sirius's relationships with both of them to assume he would be overprotective of Regulus and suspicious of James if they were to get together. I love fics where the Black brothers reconcile, but still, I doubt they'd ever have such a stereotypically normal sibling relationship. And that's not even getting started on how it undermines Sirius's friendship with James.
Its sheer overwhelming popularity annoys me. No offense intended to anyone who likes it. Your personal preference is valid. It's the expectation for everyone to share that preference that I don't love. A lot of the time in the Marauders fandom the pairing is simply taken for granted as the default. So that does make me dig my heels in a bit.
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“Help my Cat” Scam Going Around
Have you received an ask in your inbox from an account that previously wasn’t following you, pleading for a signal boost on their vet-related post? I got one today, but something felt fishy. Or perhaps “phishy” is more accurate?
Here’s the ask:
Now a couple odd things right off the bat. This is a blog I’ve never seen or interacted with, who wasn’t following me prior to sending the ask, so I immediately wondered how they pulled my name to ask for help. And while the world in general is a shitshow, so I can sort of see why a person would default to saying it “isn’t the best time to ask for help”, they say it with such confidence without knowing me at all.
Odder still, from their posts-- which at least do look extremely normal and human-like, down to the mishapocalypse profile picture-- we don’t share any interests aside from... well. Cats.
The other odd thing is them specifically requesting I reply privately, through DM or a private answer. I wouldn’t think much of it except they’re already asking me to publicly share something on my blog; if I’m going to answer the ask, why can’t I do so publicly?
I scroll through their blog some more. Their pinned post is, indeed, asking for help with their cat:
Weirdly, though, an earlier version of this post uses a completely different name for the cat??
This is bizarre to me and my red flags are pinging louder. Maybe it’s innocuous, though, I mean, it could just be a nickname or something? Why would you change it though?
Also, the post’s ratio is weird-- 101 reblogs to 44 likes. I suppose not too shocking if they’re doing this use-an-ask-to-get-a-boost tactic widely, but the ratio is pretty extreme. I check the notes. Every single reblog with tags has some variation on ‘boost’ or ‘signal boost’; there are no comments. No one has mentioned knowing this person, no one has vouched for the legitimacy of the post... but two mention that they were asked to boost the post.
*EDIT: Per a polite anon, I will clarify that signal boost/boost tags themselves aren't a red flag; what bothered me was that the post's ONLY interaction history came from boosts from seeming strangers. An active fandom blog, active enough to think posting a plea for financial help might get traction, SHOULD have at least one or two mutuals or friends who are willing to push the post and vouch for its legitimacy. Because the only engagement was from people who had clearly been approached via ask, like me, I got the heebie jeebies.
Okay, I’m doubtful enough that I’m not comfortable boosting this post myself. But let me check one more thing.
I search google for the exact phrasing of the help-requested post.
Ah.
There’s well over a dozen blogs pulled up with this exact phrasing. Most of them use the name “Koppi” instead of either “Ashel” or “Biscuit”, but a few use “Ashel”. The oldest result, from 2016, uses “Ashel”; more commonly, these results are from 2022 or earlier this year and again, most say “Koppi”. Also interesting: basically none of these posts exist anymore. Google can identify the exact wording even beyond what I included in my search query using whatever demonic powers allow it to reference removed content, but they’ve clearly been deleted.
Additionally, which I clarify for those like me who attribute Google’s quirks to demonic powers rather than an actual understanding of how it works: if the dates didn’t make it clear, these aren’t the blogs in the notes of falesyorac’s post. I cross-referenced the names. It’s not pulling up those reblogs, so presumably the majority of these results at one time came from someone who drafted and posted the wording to their blog, not from reblogs.
Maybe it was once a real post, maybe it’s always been a scam, but evidently the content of the post has been stolen and recirculated at this point. Along the way I found this as well, an anon warning someone who must have reblogged a version of the scam post:
So this is at least partly confirmed as a scam from another source.
Please be wary, do your due diligence before you put your money anywhere, and block & report falseyorac. I’m not sure the nature of the falseyorac blog originally; it may have been a real account that got hijacked, it may be a very convincing fake, it may be a real person’s blog who is trying to to leverage their innocuous appearance to pull quick money with a beggar scheme. Regardless, it is evident there is not a genuine Ashel/Biscuit needing help today and that whoever holds the falseyorac account right now is trying to pull a scam.
One more thing-- one of those reblog’s tags I showed earlier.
I also have a tag for reblogs of cats. (It’s “cats”.) I suspect this is where this particular iteration of the scam is pulling its targets from-- after all, people who reblog cats enough to tag them must care about them, right?
Finally, I am tagging the people who reblogged falseyorac’s post with tags (there’s too many for me to do everyone who reblogged it at all) below the readmore-- if I messed up and tagged the wrong person and/or you want your name removed, please just contact me and ask. I want to make sure you can see this warning, but I’m happy to untag you if it bothers you for any reason.
@thislilfecker / @koreanbibliophilegirl / @kingminyard / @sss-shyshy / @shoutmonishere / @cleocatrablossy / @mothmansass / @aroanehring / @valkyrie-ellis / @jae-writes-fanfiction / @ninja-chibi / @iambecomeahamburger
(A few people’s names didn’t come up when I tried to tag them, so I wasn’t able to include them here, rip.)
#cats#scams#scam#cat#signal boost#warning#boost#mutual aid#community aid#community support#pet scam#donation scam#harf blarf blib blab#i spent too much time on this
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I am new to the Landoscar fandom but I adore their chemistry and the fics. I saw your post about how you’re a part of the fandom that actively protects the girls in their rl which is awesome because I didn’t even know what the Carlando fans had done. I’m so happy to hear this fandom seems a bit more mature than that. How can I join? I’d like to make like minded friends 😊
yes!! we love and support Lily here and the line between shipping landoscar as a couple vs as their real life relationship is extremely clear. a similar ship is George and Alex where both Lily and Carmen are beloved by the people who ship galex. it's so easy to not hate women, adore the two guys' real life friendship, and then ship them romantically for fun in non-public spaces. so so easy.
the larrying of car|ando breaks my heart a little bc that was my first F1 rpf ship and I also love their real life friendship - genuinely the Singapore race meant way more to me emotionally for Carlos having always been big protective brother to Lando than needing to put on ship goggles. no one rly knows why car|ando is the one that people have decided is "legit" esp when Daniel and Lando straight up did the gay baiting stuff and Max V is the only driver that Lando actively has an off-season engagement with (as well as a longer driver relationship than Carlos or Daniel). but there's no reasoning w people who use vile rampant misogyny against real life girlfriends as if that will someone make two guy friends suddenly get married or whatever.
but I will say that a lot of us who still ship car|ando aren't in the larry crowd and can distinguish reality from fiction so don't be too spooked off them <3
honestly as a relatively new blog myself I can tell you that everyone in landoscar fandom is extremely kind and welcoming! my walls of text have got to get tedious at times but if anyone's annoyed then they don't say and just scroll on by!
but a heads up that tumblr is a very tricky place for keeping up with people and content by the tags and dash alone so I would make sure to tag your posts very well and also just start sending in some asks to blogs! personally I try to systematically check mutuals blogs bc tumblr sometimes shoves a person's posts wayyyy down.
and this is a personal preference and I'm not sure if you're a fic writer but it's such a huge help with fic posts if there's a banner or even just a pic bc for some reason those show up on my dash more than text post only fic.
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if this comes off as a really weird and pretentious ask please just delete it but since iirc you've been in this fandom since 2019 or before 2019 i need to know . how do you deal with such in bad faith takes ??? i scroll & move on & filter tags as much as i can but it's astounding how anybody from any corner of this fandom will have piss poor takes whether they support canon or fanon
lmao not a bad question at all. some background context feels necessary: i’ve been very into atla since i was a kid, and before i used this blog i talked about it (and lok, because korrasami melted my brain) a lot on my primary blogs. in november 2018 i convinced my friend to start watching atla, and she got extremely into it. we talked about atla every day for months. eventually, my friend started this blog in summer of 2019 to talk about atla and invited me to join. it was mostly a repository for our inside jokes and for me to post the fanart i had been drawing on my phone. it was really just a space for our circle of mutuals to have some laffs.
the atla fandom was very small at the time so we were really one of the only blogs actively talking about the show. by complete accident, however, some of our posts got popular, and we accrued quite a bit of a following. we didn’t really know what to do with all the attention (some of it extremely negative and unhinged at that), and it would only get worse after “the atla renaissance.” we got more followers than we knew what to do with, at which we considered just abandoning the blog. my friend did, and handed over the reins to me.
for her, atla was a recent interest that had soured after the fandom became too much to handle, but for me it was an interest that had endured since childhood, and i found that despite all the negative attention, i still really enjoyed having a space where i could unpack my feelings towards this thing that felt like such a significant cultural touchstone, feelings towards characters i had been so deeply moved by for so long, and i enjoyed making art on a consistent basis for an actively receptive audience who praised my skills as an (extremely amateur) artist.
i’ve been drawing atla characters for a very long time, long before i had this blog, but it feels like the incentive to draw for an audience is what motivated me to improve my art over the years, so that’s genuinely been a really nice thing. and i enjoy analyzing art, literature, and media, so trying to pick apart one single text (or multiple connected texts if you wanna bring in lok, the comics, and the novels) for so long is very fun for me.
however, as much as i’ve tried to avoid engaging with bad faith takes, i am nonetheless aware that there is a not insignificant contingent of the fandom who viscerally hate my guts for whatever reason. it’s definitely less prevalent in my daily life now that the fandom is less active (cannot begin to emphasize enough how much the atlassaince ruined my life), but at the time a lot of people wanted to make their hatred of this blog known, loudly. which, especially when you’re in the middle of a lockdown and you cannot leave your room for fear of possibly dying, is not a great feeling.
that’s not really what you’re asking, but since i have had to deal with “bad faith takes” in the most personal possible way, my advice would simply be to try to shut it out. i follow maybe two or three atla blogs, and they are blogs that do not interact with the larger fandom. i do not seek out what other blogs have to say, and confine my scope to my friends and responding to my inbox.
for some reason, atla does seem to be a bad opinions factory, but actively seeking out those opinions is simply not conducive to one’s mental health or a productive use of time, which is why i keep to myself and try to mind my own business. i cannot control how i am perceived, which i am viscerally reminded of every time i see someone reblog an older post from this blog that i didn’t even make (and sometimes straight up do not agree with), but i try to remind myself that this literally has no bearing on my material existence whatsoever, and bad posts aren’t real they can’t hurt you <3
#making this nonrebloggable for obvious reasons#dogsinspaces#asks#housekeeping#running this blog has been such a strange surreal experience#but also. i am just minding my own business it’s fine. this is fine.
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(SERIOUS) TW: Stalking, Abuse
My blog is being stalked.
I wish i didn’t have to make this post. The way it should’ve gone, everything should have been moved on now with those who needed to be blocked, blocked. But due to the fact i’m now once a week being reminded of how i’m being stalked, i can’t ignore this situation any longer.
TLDR: @/Disableddeinosaur aka Beanie starting drama within 2 servers and threatening to harass users if they disagreed with their opinions. 1 year after banning them they continue to remind me that they’re stalking me.
Further explained context below.
Context: In late 2021 i joined an amphibia discord server. The people there were nice, and i enjoyed being there. The moderator, Beanie, known as Mossy at the time, was also part of this group. They seemed suprised when i mentioned i was born the year pokemon diamond and pearl came out, but i didn’t think much of it at the time.
It is important to know that Beanie often hid behind a mask of promoting good ideals such as exposing racism and ableism in fandom circles.
I was also in another discord server with many of my now tumblr mutuals, the syrup arc server. This was a roleplay server where we’d make tupperbots for amphibia characters from AUs we’d made and have fun with them. Back to beanie’s server, a channel had been made where we talked about amphibia blogs on tumblr that had… well, questionable art. This ranged from full on implied NSFW to just aus that beanie didn’t like, such as the Moth mAnne au by Missakat. They claimed giving Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu from the amphibia series blue and green eyes respectively was racist, and blacklisted artists who did. I internally disagreed with this, but never expressed it. Why? Because Beanie was older than me. I’m not exactly sure how old specifically, but they had a job that looked like it required some experience and their suprise at my age indicated that they were an adult at least. I disgreed with them wanting to call out creators for the wrong eye colors, but i agreed that creators who are actively racist or ableist definitely deserve to be exposed.
Exposing creators we didn’t like was encouraged in Beanie’s server, so here we come to the first event. I found an amphibia artist who drew what is basically vore, but would deny if asked and refuse to tag for people who were uncomfortable. Beanie expressed to me that they already knew of this person, as they’d had a negative interaction in the past so both were aware of each other. I was encouraged to join the nsfw artist’s server, to act as a spy and screenshot and report back any uncomfortable behaviour they made. It’s worth noting i did make the choice to join myself, but why Beanie didn’t try send an alternate account or a different actual adult from their server is unknown.
I soon left that server after getting the screenshots they wanted. And even sooner after, the toll of the almost ever-present negative atmosphere of beanie’s server was too much and my parents intervened and got me to leave.
While most of the time when a friend of yours move on from a server the right thing to do is to respect their wishes and leave them alone, this is not what beanie did, and still refuses to do a year later. Instead they followed me to 2 different amphibia servers, one where they made a tupperbot of themself and guilt-tripped themself publicly “Muffin (the name i went under at the time) only left because you’re a terrible person! You’re a horrible awful person” etc to themself.
Friends of mine on tumblr (that i’ll refer to as ST and SL incase they don’t want to get involved) tried to comfort them, as they were new to the situation and Beanie and just wanted peace on the server.
Meanwhile on the syrup arc server, Beanie had began to regularly make a point to get into dificult situations with 4/5 of the server mods (the fifth being me, who never disagreed with them so i stayed on their good side though mostly because i was afraid of what they might do if i spoke out). They would make rude and unneeded comments towards others opinions such as their favourite pokemon or their art style, and when confronted would make a gigantic deal out of it or privately message me and essentially tell on them to me.
I admit, for at least 4 months i did nothing. The mod chat was chaos because everyone else was saying the things beanie had done, and the fact i could’ve made the final decision and didn’t was driving a wedge between our friendship. Individually the mods tried to speak kindly to beanie, help them understand why people were becoming wary of them or just not talking to them. The most prominent time being when my friend i’ll refer to as S started a conversation in an attempt to explain to them kindly, but Beanie refused to listen to any of their messages, calling them a slut, and repeatedly implied that S was ableist for disagreeing that their behaviour was an issue. The mod of the server, C, who has expressed before that he himself is neurodivergent, eventually stepped in and tried to explain to Beanie again but their imput went completely ignored despite the conversation stopping.
This behaviour in both servers continued to be an issue for at least another month or two, and both servers had gone from active with at least 20 people in each to basically dead beyond Beanie and only like 4 people online at a time.
Finally one day i was sitting down with a close family member of mine who works in security, and he advised me to block Beanie. I was very tired at the time but i do remember what i did.
I went to the mod chat, told the other mods i was sorry for ignoring their concerns for so long, and banned beanie myself. I also advised the second server’s creator aswell who agreed with my choice once I’d explained the context and banned them too.
You’d think that’d have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. For a solid week afterwards it was a constant back and forth with Beanie and some of the server members who’d personally experienced their behaviour. Except for the fact Beanie would entirely ignore whatever the other person was saying and then call them racist of ableist (which, none of us never even knew their race because they never said it??)
Eventually the two servers decided it would help best for us to let it go, and so we stopped talking to them. I blocked them, and as far as i’m aware of all of the others did too. Once again, you’d think this would be the end of it but unfortunately it is not.
It took 2 months for me to feel safe online after that. And then i got a ask in my ask box in this blog. I don’t exactly remember the wording, but i sent it to a groupchat so i could probably find it if i need to compile a evidence document against them. Essentially it was mocking my pinned post, saying it was ironic of me to say no bullying when i ‘bullied’ them.
After that there was nothing, and i actually began to go to a therapist for reasons i’d like to remain private relating to my paranoia. I admit it was partly my fault for not moving to action quicker, though. I shouldve blocked them long, long before that day and i am so, so sorry to the members of the syrup arc server aswell as the animation server for not acting sooner.
Thankfully they’ve left them alone it seems, but last week i recieved a notification, a personal reminder from Beanie that they were not over their ‘mistreatment’. Despite being blocked on my main account, they somehow have managed to bypass that ability for this blog (this is my sideblog) and now are reminding me once a week through a notification that they’re still here.
That they’re still a stalking, self-righteous bully who has nothing better to do than entrust their mental health to a group of 14-19 year olds on the internet and then say they’re horrible people for not being able to handle them anymore. Even if you weren’t part of either of the servers, please, block them. This situation should’ve been done and over a year ago, and blocking and reporting them seems to be the only way to get them to at least quit harassing us.
This is a completely serious post, and i am begging anyone who reads this. Please. Block them. Do not interact with them, just block them.
I have sent them a ask condeming their choice to continue this fight, which i have no doubt they’ll respond to and ignore everything i said.
Ask i sent below: [
]
Mentioning my mutuals for more engagement
@skythealmighty @sluggintub @aces-archon-quest @velvelic @luc1d-dr34m5 @calebthepianist @strawberry-seal77 @breadthefurry @technicolor-abstraction @rainblescake
#serious post#tw stalking#tw verbal abuse#Amphibia#cass speaks#Object shows#Reblog to spread around please.
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Example of what Harmony authors face
Hi,
I know a lot of you who follow me or are mutuals in this space are more Jily writers/readers. But I just want to share an example of the reasons I'm no longer comfortable engaging in the main Harmony fandom space run by HMS Harmony. I'll be blocking and deleting this user/commenter. I did however want to post this here as a concrete example of why it is that I'm not eager to continue and will be focusing on writing other pairings.
Also want to reiterate that I am not against discussion of fics, I just think entire post dedicated to talking about what we dislike about a fic in public fandom spaces don't adhere to a culture of kindness or respect. Fandom is about having fun, engaging with something we all love. That doesn't mean we all have to like the same things. But I also think we can do better about treating each other decently. I have not sent a single person after this user, or to attack any moderators of these groups. But again, this is the response and while I haven't been there to see it, I do know that I'm being dragged on there. Which does make me afraid to speak up, but sometimes we have to do things or speak up even when we feel anxious about further retaliation.
One last thing about fandom culture/critique. I saw a post on here that I'll try to find again that basically said that fics aren't a meal at a restaurant where you pay and specify what you want. They are more like a home cooked meal. If you don't like it that's fine, don't eat it, but you also don't need to throw it back in the person's face. So anyways, this wasn't the best way to start my morning but I'm going to focus on the positives in my life, like going to a job where I get to plan Harry Potter themed activities for kids ❤️ Hope you all have a lovely day!
The comment can be viewed below:
Let me say this as clearly as possible and hope you don’t construe this as disrespect for the sake of disrespect.
Get over yourself. Really, do that.
Your entire author note is self contradictory to the point that it makes me laugh. You said it wasn’t meant to cast blame but you posted the link to the thread I made on reddit. You said you don’t always expect the internet to be a safe space yet you’re trying to make it that way by not only brigading your friends and supporters against the mods but making an author note to air your own grievances about a thread that did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to rip apart publicly and regularly.
If you think I’ve ripped apart BFL with that thread then I shudder to think what you’ll think when you see something actually being ripped apart. What I did was voice my confusion and frustration at not being able to understand what that story was trying to accomplish. What I did was seek out others to either see if they felt the same or see if they felt different to me. You conveniently ignored that latter part.
And now you’re giving yourself time and grace to make a decision on what you want to do in the fandom. So with all due respect again, GET OVER YOURSELF. You post a work into a public space and expect it not to be critically discussed? The absolute worst thing I could have done was “RiP aPaRt” BFL directly in Emerson’s thread but I didn’t. Instead I went to reddit and sought out others in the community to try and understand. The fact that she ended up seeing that and then announcing that she’s leaving the fandom just to put heat on me is crazy but I’ll let it slide.
I honestly do not know what I could have done better other than shutting my mouth and saying nothing but the truth is that I was a fan of the author and I absolutely refused to believe the story she put out was what it was. Do I regret offering up a discussion on Reddit? Hell no. I wanted to understand so I sought understanding.
Another contradiction. You said you were no God but you are a human but yet you’re asking others to change the subreddit to what you 🫵 want it to be. You want it to be changed to an echo chamber where sensitive people like you won’t be exposed to criticism or discussion of your work. The same bloody work you posted on a public site to hundreds, thousands, of readers. Give me a break.
If you’re so afraid of negativity, as you call it, then may I suggest a policy of perhaps not being on Reddit and not seeking out posts that discuss your work? It’s either that or get over yourself and roll with the punches.
Discussion isn’t always going to be complimentary or kind. If your work is controversial, best believe it will be discussed. And make no mistake, I DISCUSSED BFL. Never once did I levy harsh accusations or insults just because I didn’t like the story. The fact that it has 41 upvotes and counting echoes that. So many people agree with me and I love it. I think that’s what Reddit is about. Promoting discussion and understanding of things.
Once again, please either get over yourself or adopt the fanfic author’s sacred mantra: “Don’t like, don’t read.” You don’t like the way your work is read and discussed, then leave. Join a new subreddit that is the echo chamber you want it to be. Or even leave the fandom like your friend Emerson did. Join the Dramione community because apparently their subreddit is better than Harmony’s according to all yous. Or even join the Nevmione subreddit, I’m sure they could use a few more authors and are “nicer” than Harmony.
Make a note of how stupid and unfair it sounds when I tell you to do all of those things. Make a note of how you feel when I say them. And then ask yourself why “don’t like, don’t read” is a bullshit rule. You can’t just decide to fully dislike a story without reading it all the way through. Stories get better and they win you over as you read them. The fact that BFL didn’t do that after I read it 8 odd times is a testament to me trying to find some positives because that is who I am..
That being said, continue to give yourself time and grace after you read this. Give yourself both of those things which, honestly, could have saved BFL if Harry was given some of it.
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Aziraphale and Crowley's Relationship in Season 2 is a Deconstruction of Their Relationship from Season 1 and That's Why the Fandom is Reacting Like That
Something I have noticed from the people that say that Aziraphale is OOC in Season 2 or that create elaborate batshit theories to strip him from any agency in the finale is that they can't let go of the idea that they had of the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley from Season 1, but at the same time completely ignore that the seeds for what happened in Season 2 are already there, not only in episodes of Season 2 but in the previous one.
Now, the thing is, with only Season 1, the fandom assumed that, just like in the book, the ending with the dining in the Ritz and then immediately jumping in a romantic relationship because the subtext was already there. Or that they were actually romantic and the relationship just didn't adhere with human standards. I think that is one of the reasons why the fandom never brothered to analyse the dynamic in more depth than 'they love each other'. In Season 1, we have the first seed for their conflict of Season 2 and weren't in the book: The bandstand fight, the flashbacks and the body swap.
The bandstand is probably the one that resonated the most because it changed something quite fundamental about the book which was Aziraphale not only holding the information about the Anti Christ from Crowley but actively telling him that he wouldn't tell him because they are in opposite sides. He actively lies to Crowley when he calls saying that everything is fine and why would he lie to him. This didn't happen quite in the book because Book!Aziraphale was not as attached to Heaven as Show!Aziraphale is nor did he have as much conflict with his relationship with Crowley.
Aziraphale lying to Crowley is never addressed in the narrative by the latter because they have more important things to do, but it establishes how Aziraphale, even when he still wanted to prevent Armageddon, still believed he owned Heaven more loyalty than to Crowley. Preventing Armageddon and being loyal to Heaven weren't mutually exclusive for him, since he doesn't even reply about Crowley's comment of 'our own side' and even then he instinctively calls them 'my side'. Since the first season was thought as standalone by the fandom for some years, people never assumed anything negative from this, but there, for me is seed for conflict.
Then we have the flashbacks, the flashbacks that establish Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic through the centuries as enemies/friends that help each other. They meet in secret, they talk in codes, Aziraphale has to come with elaborate Damsel in Distress plot to see Crowley. We are shown how dangerous was for them to be discovered in Season 2 (particularly for Crowley), but in Season 1 they only get punished when they stop Armageddon, so the fandom assumed that after that, they would just start a relationship without problems because they weren't being watched anymore.
But then Neil came with Season 2 and said 'nope, that wouldn't work, sorry' and he came with what the fandom always dreads: A deconstruction of their fluffy headcanon, basically telling us “This thing you interpreted wouldn't go like this or this because this or this” and the fandom is so mad about it because, deep inside, they know they can't deny it.
Season 2 deconstructs the idea that Aziraphale and Crowley were ready to form a romantic relationship after years and years of tiptoing on a friendship. They learned to pretend they weren't friends or had feelings for each other both because the danger that entailed and because of their fundamentally different mindsets, so of course that jumping to a romantic relationship would be hard after that, when all their communication has been just assuming what the other wants.
One of the things that the season really tore apart but the fandom didn't realise is the idea of Aziraphale as this pure cinnamon role/damsel in distress. The idea is presented in canon and even has dialogue thrown about it but is also deconstructed by the way it shows how it is not ideal for their relationship because Crowley has become so used about protecting Aziraphale that he just hides things that he thinks might upset him (like what happened during the body swap) and also that the angel has become so used on Crowley going along with what he wants to please him that he doesn't think for a second that Crowley wouldn't want to go along with something if he asks him or would eventually relent to please him.
The season tore apart the idea that their relationship would be an easy road just because they love each other, because relationships need work and the fandom hates to think about that.
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Thanks @celinou & @momochizoey for tagging me 🤍
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I've got 4 works total.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
73,030 words.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Seeing as how I only have 4 works, I'll just mention the fic with the most kudos - my Wenclair fic "At the End of One's Woe" with 760 kudos.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! I love it when writers respond to my comments (as inane as they are), so I thought I should do the same.
Not only that, but sometimes I'll reply to a comment when there's a new chapter of that work just to kind of nudge them to read it.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
"To Know Yourself."
It's a Chasefield fic and it's the first thing I started writing when I got back into the fanfic space. It's currently sitting at 6 chapters unfinished, but where I left it off is probably the angstiest thing I've explored publicly on my account.
32,000 words, and the poor girls don't even like each other yet.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Either the aforementioned Wenclair fic or my Chasefield smutfic "One and Then the Other." I mean, what's a happier ending then getting to bang the girl you like?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've not.
9. Do you write smut?
Yes!
I was very nervous to publish that first smutfic, but I wasn't a stranger to writing things of an explicit nature.
I used to ERP on Gaia ALL THE TIME when I was younger, but it definitely was a different thing to write stuff like that and know it would be going out for everyone to see.
But I had a blast writing it and I don't see myself straying away from smut anytime soon. The only thing I don't like is how I find it very difficult to write smut without tons of preamble beforehand, so that's kind of the one thing holding me back.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?
I've not.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I've not, though I wouldn't be against it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I've not, just the casual headcanon talks with friends and mutuals.
14. What's your all time favorite ship?
I love all the Life is Strange ships, but Chasefield holds a very special place in my heart for getting me back into fandom/fanfic as a whole.
Wenclair is also up there - it was very fun to write for an active/ongoing fandom and it was kind of crazy to see how different the response was in that.
For ships that I love, but haven't written for, I'm enamored with Ava/Beatrice from Warrior Nun and Kara/Lena from CW's Supergirl.
I do think a lot of that is that those characters and stories are closer to where I am in age/place in life, while Life is Strange/Wednesday occupies a place where I reminisce on highschool didn'ts and wish-I-would'ves.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
There's a part of me where I see myself never finishing "To Know Yourself." I had originally planned it to be this 30+ chapter thing that takes place over the entire school year, and though I do have an outline of that, it's a huge prospect - especially seeing as how I do have other stories outlined in the LiS world that are significantly shorter.
I do think about it and go back to it, but it's a reality that's possible for sure.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
It's cool if it works. It's all relative on the perspective of the story and whether we are supposed to know what's being said and stuff.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
My first fandom was Inu-yasha and I was writing Sesshomaru/Miroku slashfics on fanfiction.net.
So yeah. I'm old.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
"A Common Cold."
I wrote this fic for a mutual who was sick at the time and it was because of this that we became friends. She's actually one of the people that tagged me to do this, so here's to you Zoey!!
I'll tag @dmmeeble, @fazedlight, and @daisychainsandbowties for this, but if you're scrolling down, see this, and hankering to do this as well, go for it!
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