Wed 26 May 21

Hiiii I’m a lil dummy and I miss stuff sometimes oops so anyway here’s what I missed yesterday-- full audio of Zayn singing the song Leave Before You Love Me (released just a few days ago by the Jonas Brothers) was leaked by Zayn’s cousin! Seems that Z probably demo-ed the song back when it was being shopped around but it ended up going to JB- which would be our loss except heyyyy we get to hear Zayn’s version now anyway! It’s on youtube and it is GORGEOUS, check it out, and anyhow that explains the seemingly random promo tweet from Zayn yesterday- I should have KNOWN to look further, sigh, if Zayn is online there’s ALWAYS a reason. Side note, this is the other song (besides Our Song) that Plested wrote on that was released the same day that Niall was teasing him about the other day, as he is promoting both singles at the same time (and how they’re both smashing it.) Also Niall liked a post of Joe Jonas’ about the song yesterday. Basically: this song is ALL UP IN the updates!

And speaking of Niall and his promo- he continues to insist his pronunciation of Niall and Nile aren’t the same, “they’re absolutely not” he says and clarifies: “Nile and Ni-Al.” Ummm... As someone to whom his demonstration sounds literally indistinguishable I have to say I’m enjoying the show (and thank you Anne Marie, who said “THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME” for proving that not being able to hear it is not just an American thing). “Listen to me” insists Niall, and also insisted he has “handsome hunk energy” (not ‘big baby energy’ thank you very much)- and in case you don’t believe it he pulled down his shirt to show off his chest hair in an interview, COULD A BIG BABY DO THAT? About NH3 Niall says “this year, next year, no idea.” He and Anne Marie tell us about a deadbeat employee who was cut from the video-- “It’s not in the video but we paid this dog to speak, like ‘woof’ obviously, when he’s been told to speak... and he didn’t speak when we told him to,” Niall admits he’s a fangirl for The Eagles, and Anne Marie makes him turn bright red by calling him out for looking at himself in the mirror; Niall’s collab promo strategy is hilariously identical every time but damn it, it IS fun and cute and effective, so hey carry on! “That promo with Niall I was quite hyper. I’d had a sip of coffee by accident, I thought it was hot chocolate and it switched up my ADHD like woah,” Anne Marie says to explain herself, no excuses whatsoever are needed but lol. Tickets are on sale now for Niall’s (management company’s) golf tournament.

Harry’s photographer Helene Pabrum was interviewed in a new podcast- she answered lots of Harry questions and shared some lovely unseen pictures, from behind the scenes of HSLOT, music video shoots (as recent as TPWK even), and more. She tells us about what she thought when she first started out with him, “I was a little bit obsessed with the faces of all the fans in front of the stage. They were all at the same time crying and happy and so emotional and I was like wow so for me it was as interesting as the show itself,” and how the pictures they posted during tour were chosen-- “On tour when he wanted to post a picture to instagram I didn’t know if he wanted to post a live, or backstage or audience anything else one. So I would just sent a lot of pictures like take all of this, do what you want and he would post one… he is the one choosing the pictures, he’s the one deciding on them. He’s the one doing it and he’s very good at this. He decides…” and “if he doesn’t want to publish the picture he doesn’t do. It’s as simple as this.” (Meaning, I’d guess, that she was aware of the stupid discourse about how Harry probably doesn’t like her photos- uh huh yeah you can tell about how he has continued to hire her over and over for years- because he doesn’t look “good” in them, but at least we can finally put that to rest now right?? Fans: I don’t like Harry anymore because he doesn’t share enough personal stuff. Also fans: ugh why would he post pictures of himself looking human and accessible I hate this get it away, someone other than him is probably to blame! But she also says “I really feel happy and grateful that I receive so many really truly kind comments and kind messages” so that’s good.) Anyway, she also said her favorites are the candid ones, and “when you see a picture of him with just a t-shirt brushing his teeth it’s just great so for me, I was happy with his beautiful outfit and being simple.” She says he didn’t have much interest in picking up any French from her (or Camille I guess hmmm), “maybe he prefers speaking Italian,” and “I was really surprised to see him dancing. I was surprised in a good way, he’s young so he’s good at learning things really quickly.” (She’s only a few years older than him but he’s just got that Big Baby Energy, WBK!)

Meanwhile, Kill My Mind is soaring up the itunes charts worldwide and Walls got a boost as well as the fanbase got ProjectKMM underway, and two more Australia Louis shows were added ×͜×

TIMELINE: Houses (2011-2015)

Where exactly did Harry live in 2011-2015? Let’s recap for Ben Winston’s sake. For @cathuniverse, @bromanceshmomance, @srslycris, @daysundercover and all the anons in my inbox who asked. 

13 September 2011 (First Single Release Week) - MTV UK, citing the Sun, reports “One Direction to get lavish London apartment each!” Says they “will soon be moving out of their parents houses to live in a series of lavish London apartments - courtesy of their boss Simon Cowell.” It said Liam, Niall and Zayn would get their own apartment, but Harry and Louis would share.

5 January 2012 (UK Leg of UAN Tour Resumes) - The Daily Mail (and several other outlets) report Harry and Louis are buying Ashley Cole’s former home, the flat they were renting in Princess Park Manor. This originated with Mark Meets, an independent entertainment reporter in the UK, saying Louis and Harry wanted to buy a flat in Chelsea, which is not the area where Princess Park is located. Ashley Cole played for Chelsea Football Club, so that may be where the confusion lies.

25 February 2012 (Beginning of American UAN promo) - The Sun reports Harry moved out of the Princess Park flats and into a condo in London he bought for £575,000. 

6 March 2012 - Gordon Smart again publishes an article saying Harry bought a condo in London he bought for £575,000 with a Japanese Zen garden.  

7 March 2012 (7 Days Before American release of UAN) -  Flat supposedly put up for rent according to later reports.

6 April 2012 (Same week as SNL/Australian leg of UAN tour) - A series of articles is published on celebrity gossip sites like Sugarscape saying Louis and Harry still live together when they’re not on tour.

23 April 2012 (12 hours after Wellington/End of Australian UAN tour) - Daily Mail reports that “Former One Direction bachelor pad back on the market for  £5,000 per month.” [Reports in January said they were paying  £5,000 per week.] The article says it was listed as a “rental property” on 7 March 2012, which was right at the beginning of the American promo tour for Up All Night.

5 July 2012 (End of UAN tour) - Harry is papped out in London with Lou Teasdale and a real estate agent looking at property just 4 days after the end of the Up All Night tour and while Louis was on holiday in France with Eleanor and his family. 

6 July 2012 - Capital FM article published saying Harry was looking to buy in Primrose Hill, probably based on where he was papped the day before.

16 July 2012 - The Daily Mail reports Harry was looking for a house in Primrose Hill earlier in the month (5 July) but that the house wasn’t for him, and he was still looking. They add “And let’s not forget that Harry already owns a £575,000 flat in East London...” The Mail says Liam was also looking for real estate at the time in Primrose Hill after Simon Cowell gave all the boys a £2 million bonus each following their tour in the U.S, though it’s possible this was an advance on the second album, and not a “bonus.” The article also mentions “Louis has just finalised a deal on a £2.5 million, four-storey house in North London.” 

21-22 July 2012: Harry & Louis were pictured at a hotel together.

August 2012 - Harry buys white house in Hampstead Heath area of London, now formally known on Google maps as “Erskine House,” which is, amazingly, what Harry named his record and touring companies. Super clandestine. 

27 September 2012 (Beginning of TMH Album Promo) - The Mirror reports Harry has bought the Hampstead Heath house in North London and calls it the “perfect party pad.” In the article, they say Harry used to live in the “gritty East End” of London that he bought in 2011 and cost $575,000 [no story published in 2011 can corroborate this claim]. The Mirror quotes a source saying “a lot of Harry’s friends live in Primrose Hill and Belsize Park, so he wanted to move closer to them,” meaning Nick Grimshaw and that crew. It goes on to say Harry told pals he was throwing a huge house-warming bash. The Daily Mail publishes a similar article with the same claims: moving from East London flat to “palatial pad,” calls it a “party palace.” 

16 October 2012 - Variety publishes an article about the house with pictures of the inside and outside and the actual floor plan, saying it sits “hard up on the street” meaning directly on the street. Variety provides a small addendum at the end of the story saying the claim Harry “lives --or live in--a swanky East London flat” is based on reports from numerous celebrity-based gossip blogs and glossies, but no source of the information can be found.

1 November 2012 - In an interview with Radio KissKiss, Louis says “We all, like, have our own private homes and we think it’s really important to keep our privacy there. And, actually, no one knows where we live. Hehehe.” 

8 November 2012 (4 Days before TMH is released) - Celebs Now (then written by Dan Wootton) reports Louis says he and Harry no longer live together, but there was no friction and they still get on really well.  

14 November 2012 (Same Week TMH is released) - It was announced Morgan Spurlock would be doing a “documentary” about One Direction to be released 23 August 2013.  

1 February 2013 - First mention of Harry living at his “mates’ houses.” Ed told WPLJ-FM in New York City “The strangest thing about Harry is he lived at my flat for a while, but he had a house, he had two houses… this was like a couple of months ago. He had two very posh houses in London and he’d just come and stay.” 

24 February 2013 (UK Leg of TMH Tour/LFW) - Harry is seen buying vintage decor at a shop in North London, conveniently in the middle of the UK leg of the Take Me Home tour.

5 April 2013 - Morgan Spurlock tweets picture of Harry in bed at presumably Ben’s house in the attic. 

14 April 2013 - The Daily Star reports Harry’s neighbors hate him for blocking their car bays with his many luxury cars at his East London flat. They say it only comes with 1 parking space, but reports at the time it was announced he bought the house said it came with a double car lift and enough space to park 4 cars. 

19 September 2013 (LFW) - The Star reports Harry “enjoys sleepovers at Nick Grimshaw’s flat.” “SINGER Harry Styles’s bromance with gay DJ Nick Grimshaw is so strong that he has been sleeping at his flat for almost a week.” 

16 December 2013 - Harry wins court order against paparazzi. “ Court orders photographers to stop pursuing singer, placing him under surveillance or loitering within 50 metres of his home.” 

30 December 2013 - Meredith and Harry papped walking dogs together at Hampstead Heath park. 

21 February 2014 (Break before WWA Tour) - Harry buys first house in Post Office area of Los Angeles via Bubblegum Trust.

14 March 2014 - The Daily Mail reports Harry bought the house in Los Angeles. 

23 May 2014 (Post Weedgate Week) - The Daily Mail reports Harry had spent  £500,000 to date renovating the Erskine house by adding on an extension and a state-of-the-art underground car park for his fleet of sports cars.

17 February 2015 (Beginning of OTRA tour) - Yahoo! UK reports it’s taking so long for Harry to renovate his Erskine house because “he’s attempting to build an actual London pub inside it.” 

1 November 2015 (Promo for Made in the A.M.) - The Sunday Times does an interview with One Direction where they quote say: “After Styles bought his big house in north London “in about 2011”, he filled it with builders and ended up moving into the attic room of the producer Ben Winston (son of the genetic scientist, Robert) and his wife for 18 months. “That saved me,” he says. “I was only supposed to be with them for three weeks. Nobody knew where I was — that can actually, sometimes, be possible.” So print Harry was saying He stayed with Ben from approximately August 2012-February 2014. 

18 April 2017 (Release of Harry’s first Single) - Rolling Stone says “Styles had just moved out of his family home in Cheshire, an inconvenient three hours north of London. He found a home he liked near the Winstons in Hampstead Heath. The new house needed two weeks of work. Styles asked if he could briefly move in with Winston and his wife, Meredith. "She agreed," Winston says, "but only for two weeks."” “For the next 20 months, one of the most desired stars on the planet slept on a small mattress in an attic.” So that means, it was August 2012-April 2014. 

What does this all mean? 

HOUSES AS PROMO FODDER: I wanted to disprove Ben, specifically, when I began this timeline, but looking at it now, the obvious ebb and flow of the “house” narrative with the beginning and ending of major promo times is hilariously obvious. I think it served 2 purposes: try to make “Larry Stylinson” seem like a bachelor pad bromance and paint all of the boys as middle class kids who made it big after their first album and bought big houses and a lot of cars. 

WHAT TIMELINE?: The timeline of the Ben story itself has changed over the years. In its most recent form (April 2017), Ben says Harry stayed with them 20 months. If we assume this begins in August 2012, that means Harry lived with them so much they were “gutted” when he left in April 2014. 

WHAT EAST LONDON FLAT: What the fuck East London flat were people talking about in 2012? He supposedly bought it right before he went on a 4 month tour of America and Australia and America again, then upon returning immediately bought the Erksine House, but didn’t live in it for 3 years and lived with Ben? Nobody ever reported that he sold it. Just that he bought it.

WHY WERE THEY AT A HOTEL: Why were Harry and Louis at a hotel in July 2012 if they’d both recently bought houses? Harry couldn’t stay with Ben until August? But Niall was still living in the Princess Park flats, so was it just Harry and Louis who couldn’t be seen there together since it was reported they’d moved out? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ABOUT? 

LOUIS MOCKS THE NARRATIVE: In early November 2012, Louis, on video, said “nobody knows where we live” and laughed in a smug manner. Was he talking about Harry living with Ben and Meredith only? Because everyone else’s houses, including Harry’s own, got announced in the press, sometimes to the point they included pap pics, neighborhoods with nearby landmarks and even floor plans. 

DECOR???: Harry was seen purchasing decor like clocks, flags, a vintage cash register and a pair of animal horns in February 2013, but for what house? If he was staying with Ben and Meredith, why was he buying decor? Where did the decor go, because it wasn’t seen in the attic when he was filmed there for This Is Us.

WHERE WAS HARRY SLEEPING: Ed said in February 2013 that Harry had 2 houses but lived for a while with Ed “a couple of months ago.” In April 2013, Morgan Spurlock tweeted a picture of him in Ben’s attic waking up like he lived there. In September 2013, it was said Harry enjoyed sleepovers at Nick Grimshaw’s flat and had his own spare room. So did Ben and Meredith just get Harry every other weekend and on holidays? 

HARRY MOCKS THE NARRATIVE: On 1D Day, which aired 23 November 2013, Harry mocked his vagabond portrayal by saying “I don’t have a house, so no food.” 

GOGGLEBOX???: On 18 November 2013, Harry asked the Access Hollywood interviewer if they’d ever seen Gogglebox. The interviewer asked “When do you get a chance to watch it?” And Louis responded “Well, when we’re home - when we work from London.” So did he mean when he and Harry were staying in Ben’s attic or sleeping in Nick’s spare room or on Ed’s couch? 

HARRY GETS AN INJUNCTION: What house did Harry get an injunction against? Typically, you can’t get an injunction against a house that you do not own. Are we to assume he got an injunction at a house at which he was temporarily squatting in the attic? 

HARRY GETS PAPPED: 2 weeks after he got the injunction, he got papped in Hampstead Heath with Meredith Winston walking dogs. So am I supposed to think he got an injunction against the paps for a house and then went and got papped near it? Or did Meredith come to Harry’s Erskine House with some dogs and get papped near it? 

THE RENOVATIONS: In May 2014, it was formally reported that Harry was doing major renovations to the Erskine house, including moving the location of the kitchen, adding on and building a new car park. In February 2015, Yahoo! reported it was still being renovated. But Harry and Ben have both said Harry moved out sometime around March or April 2014. Are we supposed to assume Harry never slept in London from April 2014-whenever the Erskine House was ready for people like Tess and Camille to post from at convenient times? 

Anyways, this entire timeline is a mess. I don’t think Harry ever stayed at Ben’s more than a night or two. And Ben has turned that into a “family home” story about how close he is with Harry but also how many people Harry fucked in his attic. And that “family home” narrative is actually one that Harry and Louis started about their own flat in August 2011, so that’s that on that. 

New thoughts on The Orville and Star Trek Discovery

This post contains spoilers on both series up to “Cupid’s Dagger” for The Orville and “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum” for Discovery. As I’ll probably get wordy, I’ll throw in a page break.

Before the break, though, the tl;dr is The Orville continues to be great (though this week’s episode is a bit controversial to some); meanwhile, approximately three episodes ago, Discovery finally became, for me anyway, proper Star Trek. And the renewal of both series is a cause for celebration.

I’ll start with Star Trek Discovery. Up to and including “Choose Your Pain”, the episode that reintroduced Harry Mudd, I was starting to lose hope in Discovery. It was too dark, too unlikeable, the characters were not gelling either as a team or as TV heroes, the Klingon subplot was - save for some unexpected in-show shipping of two Klingons - dull as an economics textbook. It was fading. And I speak as someone who gave both Voyager and Enterprise more than a year each to find their voice. The “icing on the cake” was having two characters unnecessarily utter the F-word for no other apparent reason than to justify the episode TV-MA rating. I was already saying to people that I gave it two more weeks and then I was probably done.

And then came “Lethe” and something great happened. It felt almost like having Stamets and Tilly drop F-bombs caused the show and its writers to snap to attention and snap out of whatever TV-MA/streaming cliches rut they’d fallen into. Maybe hearing two people in Starfleet uniforms make like Malcolm Tucker made them realize they’d taken things too far. Because all of a sudden we began a run of episodes that truly felt like Star Trek, the characters snapped into place as a team and as TV heroes, the plots were interesting, Michael dropped the woe is me routine (for the most part) and even the Klingon stuff became less boring. OK, the tech is still too advanced, the Klingons look awful, and there are a few other problems, some of which (like the fact it’s a prequel) cannot be fixed ... but the show felt like Trek, finally.

“Lethe” gave us some valuable insight into Sarek and Michael’s backstory. And while I still wonder how they’ll reconcile not having any past reference to Spock having an adopted sister (maybe Sybok will show up and whisk her away somewhere), and the new abilities related to the mind meld are coming close to deus ex machina territory, it still seemed to work. Having Canadian actress Mia Kirschner as Amanda - who resembles both a young Jane Wyatt as well as Abramsverse Amanda Winona Ryder - was a bonus and I hope we see her again.

Then came my favourite episode so far, “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad”. Hopefully this episode will silence those Discovery fans who keep harping about The Orville borrowing/stealing/revisiting storylines and concepts from Trek considering this episode was basically a remake of the classic TNG tale “Cause and Effect” with a touch of Battlestar Galactica 2004′s “33″ tossed in for good measure - and even hints of Doctor Who’s “Heaven Sent”. And it works. Stamets finally became a character I enjoyed watching, and Tyler also became more interesting. Some are complaining about him and Michael becoming an item but, again, this is Star Trek and while TOS never went there, all the other shows had on-board romances. The time loop was intelligently played and out and Rainn Wilson was terrific as Mudd though I hope his cold-blooded killings early in the episode were done with his assumption that time would reset and everyone would be fine - I’m OK with Wilson playing Mudd as a darker character (so far he’s been the best part about Discovery), but making Mudd a cold-blooded murderer crosses the line. It’s also a shame they couldn’t put Mudd in the title of this or the Choose Your Pain episode, as that’s always been a bit of a tradition in the franchise, but they obviously didn’t want to give the surprise of his appearance away.

“Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum” was not as much fun as the last two, but it gave us some valuable character development for Saru, making him less of an Odo clone. And the subplot where the female Klingon operative teams up with and then appears to betray Admiral Cornwell was interesting. I think there’s more there than we think. By the way, I’ve been a fan of Jayne Brook since she was in WIOU back in 1990 so I’m glad to see her on this show. I hope they don’t kill her character off.

So, yeah, Discovery suddenly got good three weeks ago (and to be fair, “Choose Your Pain” was a good episode too; they just didn’t need to have the juvenile swearing; I was reminded how in one of Torchwood’s first episodes they had Jack announce he was taking a pee mainly because that was something they couldn’t do in Doctor Who. It just served to cement some folk’s negative first impressions). If it keeps on going this way, it’s going to become appointment viewing for me.

The Orville, meanwhile, continues to go from strength to strength. After the surprisingly grim “Krill”, we had “Majority Rule”, which tweaked today’s knee-jerk “like-dislike” culture. (Don’t let that stop you from clicking that little heart at the bottom of this article, though! 😂) I’ve heard people compare it to Black Mirror. Having never seen Black Mirror, my comparison is actually more towards The Outer Limits. It raised some interesting questions and right after watching the episode a friend sent me a video of Katy Perry doing an “apology tour” type TV appearance for some indiscretion of hers, much like LaMarr has to do in the episode. I enjoyed seeing the crew in (sort of) modern day outfits, too.

Then we had “Into the Fold”, a great spotlight episode for Penny Johnson Jerald (formerly Kassidy Yates on DS9) with the surprising reveal that she’s a single mom raising her two boys on board the Orville. The fact we’ve already been introduced to the concept of families on board a starship both with Bortus and his husband - and in TNG before that - makes it less of an ass-pull than such a sudden introduction might usually appear. And it works really well as a character builder for Isaac as he becomes the boys’ surrogate father when Dr. Finn goes missing. I have some issues with Dr. Finn’s rather violent escape (I don’t think shooting the guy was justified) but the episode holds together well otherwise.

Last night’s episode, “Cupid’s Dagger,” was the first overtly comic episode of the series, and it rubbed a few people the wrong way. The same way comedic episodes of TNG and DS9 often did. (Two decades of brain bleach have yet to wipe away the memory of Quark’s head superimposed atop a woman’s lingerie-clad body. 😱) There are also those who questioned the wisdom of an episode about a Deltan-like race that causes anyone who comes in contact with them to become sexually infatuated airing during a time when so many people are accusing or being accused of sexual misconduct and assault. I won’t go into those arguments. I’ll just say the episode was a very strong character building episode once again which gave some closure to the scene in the pilot where Kelly cheats on Ed, while raising more questions. We also saw some resolution to the Finn and Yaphit relationship (uh ... yeah ... I’ll just leave that with a “no comment”), some great Alara moments, and an interesting resolution to the episode’s B-plot involving preventing a war. We also get to enjoy the first appearance by one of Seth MacFarlane’s Family Guy co-stars, as Mike Henry appears in a very funny running gag about an alien who wants to start piping elevator muzak into the Orville’s turbolifts.

Next week’s Orville is looking to be another dramatic one, and if the promo images that have been released are anything to go by, it might be an Alara-centric story, and more Halston Sage is never a bad thing.

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So basically where I sit now is that The Orville is still amazing, a lot of fun, and still gives off classic Trek vibes with a little modern edginess, though “Cupid’s Dagger” probably pushes the show as far as I’d like it to go in terms of the comedy. Discovery, meanwhile, appears to have undergone some sort of slight internal reboot/reset after its initial set of episodes. Which is good because I want to be able to enjoy both shows, both for the remainder of their first seasons, and into next fall, too.

As a side note, it’s been announced that a book on the making of The Orville is going to be published in January 2018: The World of the Orville by Jeff Bond.

A North American DVD release for Season 1 of The Orville has also been indicated on Amazon, though no date has been announced yet. I’m assuming sometime early 2018, though with Season 1 ending in early December there’s always a chance they might try to sneak in a release for Christmas.

As for Discovery, a novel based on the show is already out in Canada and the US and IDW is gearing up to start publishing a spin-off comic or two. No word on a DVD/Blu-ray release. Being a streaming series doesn’t disqualify it from physical release (Netflix issues most of its shows on DVD eventually, with House of Cards and Orange is the New Black usually coming out within months of their release - though I wouldn’t be marking any calendar dates re: House of Cards at the moment) but I wouldn’t expect to see anything until at least fall 2018 assuming they release the complete Season 1 at once.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21st July 2019

Top 10

To my surprise, although Ed Sheeran did replace Shawn Mendes at #1, it’s not “I Don’t Care”. In fact, I didn’t expect a single Ed Sheeran debut, I just thought it’d be the three singles since Ed had ran himself into  a corner by releasing all these singles, none of which would end up in the chart due to pointless UK chart rules. That’s not the case here. First of all, the #1 here is up two spaces from last week, because it’s “Beautiful People” featuring Khalid, which isn’t what I expected but is understandable. It’s a lot stronger than “Cross Me” and had a video, hell, it’s the album opener. This also means it’s Khalid’s second #1, which is disappointing as it means both of his biggest British hits are pretty bad. Eh, it’s Sheeran’s seventh and I’m sure no one’s really complaining, it’s not a song I can imagine causing many strong reactions on either side, much like the rest of that album.

That means that down a spot to number-two is “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, which I don’t care for anyway, it had its one week in the spotlight and it might rebound next week.

Now at number-three, it’s “Take Me Back to London”, a debut from Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy, becoming Ed’s 24th Top 10 hit here in the UK (Or something close to that number, he has a lot), Stormzy’s seventh, and Kenny Beats’ first. Yeah, more on that later.

Speaking of Ed Sheeran, you’d think “Cross Me” would be gone, right? It’s the one single released that obviously underperformed at least on Ed Sheeran in Britain standards. Yet at number-four, we have Ed Sheeran with “Cross Me” featuring Chance the Rapper and by technicality PNB Rock, up four spots from last week. Yeah, once again, more on that later.

Okay, so that’s all the Ed Sheeran for now. There seems to be a pretty interesting shake-up here in the top 20, and that doesn’t start with number-five, which is Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” down one space.

That does, however, start at number-six, as we have AJ Tracey’s second UK Top 10 hit and his highest ever peaking song, “Ladbroke Grove”, up six from last week, and I’m ecstatic, this song is amazing.

Sadly, he’s bought MIST’s highest ever peaking song with him, “So High” with Fredo, becoming MIST’s first ever UK Top 10 and Fredo’s second, because of a four-spot increase off the debut last week to number-seven, and I couldn’t care less. This song is probably the most non-descript attempt at fusing British trap with R&B I’ve ever heard debut on the chart, and that’s even with its interesting mid-2000s UK garage-like vocal sample, which “Ladbroke Grove” pulls off incredibly well because it actually embraces the throwback, instead of making it a boring trap love song.

“Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill is up one space to number-eight but Thog don’t care

At the tail end of the Top 10, we have two songs down three spots this week due to what’s happened above them. The first of them is “Crown” by Stormzy at number-nine.

The second of these is at #10, and it’s Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road”, even with the Billy Ray Cyrus, Young Thug, Mason Ramsey and Diplo remixes. Maybe the RM one will push it over the edge but we’ll see.

Climbers

Our first climber is easily the biggest, and probably one of the biggest we’ve seen all year, and it’s “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy up a seldom-seen 25 positions, landing at #13, mostly thanks to a music video finally being released that went pretty viral because of its inclusion of Stormzy as a cameo. Elsewhere, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish has gone up seven spaces to #16 thanks to the awful Justin Bieber remix, right next to Kygo’s remix of a Japanese deluxe Whitney Houston deep cut “Higher Love” entering the top 20 at #17, up nine spaces from last week. This means it’s Kygo’s fifth UK Top 20 hit and Houston’s twenty-ninth (Her first posthumous top 20). “Castles” by Freya Ridings is up eight spaces off the debut to #26 and I’m not complaining, it’s a pretty good song, and that’s all we’ve got this week.

Fallers

First of all, we have a pretty harsh drop for “Goodbyes” by Post Malone and Young Thug down seven spaces off the debut to #12, which is unfortunate since I love that song, but we’ll see how it does in the coming weeks. Elsewhere, “Never Really Over” by Katy Perry is down six to #22, “SOS” by the late Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc is down eight spots to #23, “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy is down six to #24 and that chain ends with Chris Brown’s “No Guidance” featuring Drake down nine spaces to #25. Speaking of Drake, “Money in the Grave” featuring Rick Ross is down seven spots to #29. Little Mix continue to flop with their latest single “Bounce Back” collapsing down another seven positions to #34, which is the same damage done to “Mother’s Daughter” by Miley Cyrus at #36, and that’s all for the fallers.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The most interesting dropout here is obviously “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber dropping out the chart entirely from #2. It’s been on the chart for weeks on end, with all but its last week spent at #1, meaning it would have probably had a streaming cut, leaving it open to being replaced by another single from Sheeran’s album, which is what happened, despite the fact that if it hadn’t had that streaming cut, there wouldn’t be any impact of Sheeran’s album on the charts, which is pretty funny to me. It does say which one of these dumb chart rules they prioritise though, it evidences that the amount of chart points is decided and calculated way before, probably in the midweek, that they finalise the placements and look over the rules, deciding which one goes, which one stays, especially in massive weeks such as the week of an Ed Sheeran album release. Other drop-outs include “Thiago Silva” by Dave and AJ Tracey out off the debut from #36, “OT Bop” by NSG out from #39 after a decent chart run, “Kilos” by Bugzy Malone and Aitch from #40, and if you want to know where it is currently on the Top 100, it’s at #50, meaning it’s lost 10 chart positions every week it’s been on the chart since its debut at #20 for three weeks. That’s one of those sweet pointless chart facts I love. We have no returning entries, so let’s get into our mixed bag of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Ritual” – Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora

Produced by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Stonebank – Peaked at #1 in Latvia

Despite being billed as a Tiesto and Jonas Blue song first, it was promoted very much so to be Rita Ora’s next lead single from her upcoming album, starting another unnecessarily long album cycle from the pop starlet that I’ve become used to following for no good reason. It was even solely performed by Rita Ora at a football charity event here in the UK, so there was a lot of promo backing it, and if Rita Ora got the top billing I feel that it’d here in the top 40 much quicker, but that’s just a theory. I’m prepared for another bland vaguely tropical EDM effort with weak, unmemorable drops and a vocal performance that is just decent enough to pass. It’s Tiesto’s thirteenth UK Top 40 hit, Jonas Blue’s ninth and Ora’s 21st(!), and I’m absolutely right, this is completely non-descript. The calm synth pluck acts like a guitar (Yep, they can’t even get a guitar plug-in or loop for this one), with Rita Ora providing oddly breathy vocals that seem very much out of her comfort zone, with filler lines and lyrics that are not even close to coherent sentences. It seems like this is a sex song with Ora’s inflections and lyrical content but it does not sound like it. If you want to get down to the end credits of a 2013 blockbuster comedy film, then sure, have your fun, I’m not going to kink shame you, but this doesn’t work at all. There’s so much empty space in the instrumental, which at a slower tempo would be very fitting for the content but it’s way too fast, and Ora’s singing is mixed perfectly; by that I mean you can barely hear her a lot of the time and hence you won’t pick up on how the lyrics have no relation to the dance beat. Oh, and that drop is kind of pathetic, not particularly bad but it’s very much a non-drop, despite its catchiness. The outro vocal is pitchy and really hard to listen to, as well. This could definitely use a lot more work, maybe get another singer, change the lyrics to some bland inspirational fluff, and you’ve got somewhat of a bearable Avicii rip-off. Otherwise, no, this is nothing special.

#37 – “Love of My Life” – Remedee featuring Not3s and Young Adz

Produced by Remedee

So, Young Adz seems to be the Swae Lee break-out of D-Block Europe. Delightful. Now, Remedee is a British hip-hop producer who might have been behind a lot of the UK trap hits we’ve seen on this show, such as... uh... nevermind, but he has been racking up some deep cuts and songs that never got the buzz to chart. This is his first as a credited artist to reach the UK Top 40, but we’re already familiar with the other guys. Not3s and Young Adz are very much the British equivalent to A Boogie wit da Hoodie, Lil Tjay and Polo G, those American bubbling-under-status trap “rappers” who prefer to croon about love in a trash heap of Auto-Tune than to spit any bars, and sometimes they even sound or look similar, it’s kind of jarring. I don’t like either of them, but Not3s has never been too awful to me, while Young Adz often proves himself as a waste of time. This is Not3s’ fifth venture into the UK top 40, and Young Adz’ first ever as a credited solo artist outside of D-Block Europe, but in total, this would be his fourth. Wow, how was I not expecting anything and I’m still let down? So, this is a love song, and both Young Adz and Not3s don’t care, with less noticeable Auto-Tune than usual, but the lyrics aren’t any more subtle, and the blunt vocal delivery makes them even more painful. Certain British rappers can make this charming, like Dave or even Tion Wayne and the guys from NSG, but these guys have no charismas or energy, referencing their older viral songs and going into frankly gross detail over this non-existent synth-lead beat, which immediately isn’t all that bad, about their encounter with this woman... or maybe it’s not a woman. Honestly, I’m confused. The lyrics are mostly about drug use, especially in the chorus, and Adz here tries to make a connection between that and love.

Lean, lean, lean, love of my life / Baby girl, I’m trying to f*** you tonight

Okay, first of all, that is disgusting, careless and frankly unacceptable glamorisation of lean, which kills, we should know cough syrup is dangerous at this point, it’s been more than a decade since Pimp C and DJ Screw, pioneers of the use of lean in hip hop culture and music, fell ill to their own signature, we should know better. Also, how do you have sex with cough syrup? Never mind, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. It could get pretty messy. Anyway, since it’s Young Adz, any other dumb lyrical moments?

Do a magic trick, she said, “Darling, what’d you mean?”

Good question, what is this magic trick? Is it having sex with cough syrup, specifically in the kitchen? That’s what’s implied if not explicitly stated in the one verse where Not3s, putting in no effort, trades bars with Adz. Oh, and the Adz:Not3s ratio is disproportional to their talent, I should add. At least with D-Block Europe songs, I usually have something more to say.

#18 – “I Spy” – Krept & Konan featuring Headie One and K-Trap

Produced by BKay

Speaking of songs I have nothing to say for, this song is kind of passable, barely, I guess. It’s Krept & Konan’s third UK Top 40 hit (Their second Top 20), Headie One’s second (Their second Top 20) and K-Trap’s first ever charting single, and it’s pretty damn boring. The beat is made up of a dry chopped up vocal sample, with cheap trap percussion, and by cheap, I mean really cheap, distorted and badly mixed, and nobody really brings their D-game yet alone A-game here. Krept rapping “Suck your mother” in that serious tone of voice and then repeating what I just said in a simpler fashion is pretty funny, but I’m not sure if that’s intentional. Konan doesn’t really have interesting wordplay – when the beat is this bare, you need to bring something – but he and K-Trap at least have a lot of energy when they trade bars. I’m questioning how you have sex with twin sisters “for the win” though. Krept is pretty funny actually, using gang members’ friends names as an excuse for a Looney Tunes pun that isn’t on Genius because it’s just in the ad-libs, bringing some nice Jack Daniels wordplay, and quite literally saying “Suck your mum” in Portuguese... then claiming he said it in Spanish, which is a “Keep it 300 like the Romans” level of embracing an obvious inaccuracy and is honestly kind of precious. He also brags about he and Konan’s dessert shop, ”Crepes and Cones”, because of course he does, and I really hope that exists thinking about it. Krept definitely has the best verse here, but the transition to Headie One shows a stupidly distant shift in quality. Headie just pretty much repeats lyrics we already heard from Konan and K-Trap earlier with less energy than them, making him pretty useless. The hook comes in again and plays twice to fill up time, and the only question I have is why the hell is this four minutes and 33 seconds? It runs for nearly a straight five minutes, a lot of that either being just the beat or just the hook, and the whole song somehow feels like it runs for double that, it really is that much of a slog. Yeah, I’m not digging this at all, I’ve heard better from Krept & Konan, and I’m slightly worried now about that second album.

#3 – “Take Me Back to London” – Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy

Produced by Skrillex, Kenny Beats and Fred Gibson

I tweeted about what an odd collaboration this was: acoustic folk pop singer-songwriter turned tropical popstar Ed Sheeran featuring rap verses from gospel-influenced UK grime rapper Stormzy, with production from the mop-haired poster child of dubstep, in collaboration with full-time police officer and part-time hip-hop producer Kenny Beats, and Kenny happened to actually like that tweet, probably because this all somehow fits together decently well, mostly because everyone but Stormzy is watered down to an overly safe extent, much like the rest of the disposable album, No. 6 Collaborations Project, that is attached to this single, which is mostly compiled of accessible,ahem white, versions of urban R&B and hip hop music that were given cosigns from the artists they’re ripping off for the sake of a pay check. Songs like “Antisocial” with Travis Scott demonstrate that perfectly, but this one shows that even Ed Sheeran isn’t himself, pretty much refusing to properly sing or belt on the chorus, instead going for a rap-sing flow that would be charming if it was sloppily sung by either Stormzy or really anyone who can pull that off, hell, I’d be quicker to pass the hook to Lil B than Ed Sheeran, but since Ed sounds as manufactured and perfect as he could possibly be, it just sounds pretty lazy. Straight off the bat, you cannot tell Kenny Beats had any involvement in this, he doesn’t even get a “Whoa, Kenny!” tag, and it’s barely a Skrillex one either, I guess the elevated strings sound reminiscent of Skrillex’s more recent tropical house work. Stormzy kills it, and I love his ad-libs when Ed is rapping, wait, yes, let’s tackle that. Ed raps here and it sounds a tad cringeworthy a lot of the time, but I feel that’s because he feels the need to mention he’s not a rapper and he sounds a lot more multi-tracked when compared to Stormzy, who is recorded as just one take. I’d like to hear a more raw Ed performance on grime some day, even his older hip-hop stuff has this same issue. All that said, that hook is insanely catchy and both of them have pretty great rhyme schemes, with rapid flows that are invigorating and somehow, the collaboration between Skrillex, Stormzy, Ed Sheeran and the police ends up sounding pretty cool, if anything.

Conclusion

Now there can’t be an Honourable Mention because nothing here is all that great, or even good, but Best of the Week is going to Ed Sheeran and Stormzy for “Take Me Back to London”, surprisingly, I thought it’d end up a trainwreck. Dishonourable Mention is technically a seven-way tie this week, going to Krept & Konan, Headie One, K-Trap, Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora for “I Spy” and “Ritual”, one facing the crime of being dull and the other doing the time for falling flat on its face in whatever mood it was trying to create. Oh, and because it’s Young Adz, Worst of the Week goes to Remedee and Not3s for “Love of My Life”. That single really is pathetic in every way possible. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

NWA TNA Episode 1, June 19th 2002

17 years ago NWA TNA started the weekly PPV experiment. I went to every single one. Now I'm going to watch them for the first time since I was there.

(this review brought courtesy of Toby Keith and the red white and blue)

In 2002, I was a teenager set adrift by 9/11 and the alienation from starting high school. For better or worse, every week I started going to National Wrestling Alliance - Total Nonstop Action shows on Wednesday night. I loved WCW and was bitter about the botched invasion going on, and here was a new WCW in my backyard.  It looks like there were 111 weekly PPVs, I'm not sure exactly how many taped ones / clip shows ended up happening, but I never missed one for injury, illness, or even vacation for the better part of two years. It was basically my ECW, for someone who was too young to follow ECW when it first aired.

I'm not really sure what the format of these is going to be. It's kind of a recap + live blog + review,  I'll give matches the standard 0-5 star ratings with 1/4*'s possible, so it's really a 20 point scale. I'm going to hopefully figure out a better way to get screen captures going forward. Also, these first couple were taped in Alabama, not at the TNA Asylum in Nashville. Hopefully if my memory holds up, I'll be able to give some live notes and memories from being there for some of these. I have an old hard drive of pictures taken that I hope I can recover. I won the "Best Fan of the Night" and "Best Sign" contests a couple times to get to go backstage, and I also generally hung out before the shows and after the shows to talk to the wrestlers coming and going like a groupie. Later on, I was even on the TNA "Street Team" helping to market TNA and hand out flyers/ads during Smackdown tapings.  I was also the moderator for the brief TNA Online Message Board, which I truly wish I had screencaps/archives somehow of all the…wildness there.

NWA TNA #1 June 19th 2002

Don West is the first person out of the gate, introducing Ed Ferrara after pyro and a brief introduction. Ed's all about TNA and introducing the girls dancing in cage as some sleazy music plays. Appropriately, he throws it to Mike Tenay, all business at ringside. TNA chants kick us off. Don West's hawaiian shirt is a thing of legend, and it's distracting me from Tenay's long explanation of the "Gauntlet For The Gold".

Jeremy Borash eventually is in ring announcing a parade of legends. Harley Race, Dory Funk, Jr, Jackie Fargo, Bullet Bob Armstrong, Corsica Joe & Sarah Lee, Bill Behrens, Ricky Steamboat. "All Our Base Are Belong To Us" shirt spotted in the stands. The Dragon compares the belt to every major championship in pro sports, the Stanley Cup, etc. He will special referee the finals of the match, and that brings out the one and only - Jeff Jarrett. His TNA theme "My World" is a lowkey banger that nevertheless completely haunted my life for 2 years. His big mouth earns him the first spot in the match. Ken Shamrock is here after that, and he joins Jarrett in burying the Battle Royal match. Finally, Scott Hall saunters through the crowd in a strip club(!!!) t-shirt as his awesome theme "Marvelous Me" plays. To round up, Ken Shamrock's theme wasn't great. "Hey Yo" sign spotted.

Goldylocks is backstage with Total Nonstop Action and the original midget killer "Puppet the Psycho Dwarf". Oh no. He's gonna spill some midget blood. Jeff Jarrett angrily kicks over a tiny music stand in the background hilariously. Then we go to the girls in cages and honest to goodness our first wrestling match -

6 Man Tag Team X Division Showcase AJ Styles, Low Ki, and Jerry Lynn vs The Flying Elvii (Sonny Siaki, Jimmy Yang, and Jorge Estrada)

An X Division showcase awaits. The legends surround a tiny monitor backstage. The generic faces' intro music is bland. The flying Elvii have a nice little knockoff theme at least. Siaki has Big The Rock Energy while the other two mug. The Elvii refuse handshakes and all hell breaks loose. Triple dropkicks and flying splashes to the outside. Styles reverses a back suplex into a phenomenal forearm, and I'm not going to attempt to catch every move. As an aside - Total Nonstop Action has taken a full 18 minutes on air before someone punched someone. Siaki and LowKi is a pretty appealing matchup. The former does a crisp Samoan Drop. Styles and Yang get in and have a very crisp, quick flurry of moves together. Jerry Lynn crushes a cradle Piledriver, and Siaki runs in and hits his neckbreaker finisher. LowKi accidentally brains AJ, and Yang capitalizes with the Yang Time for the pin. Considering who went on to hold the X Title, this is an odd result, but commentary was generally putting over how the mismatched team was going to compete in the X Title Round Robin coming up.

The Flying Elvii in 7 minutes, Yang Time pins AJ Styles **3/4

Midget Showcase Teo vs Hollywood

Hollywood starts it before the bell. From the promo, I thought this was a triple threat with Puppet. Hollywood kicks out of the "Tadpole Splash" from the top rope. Ed Ferrara says in response to Teo's claims to be a ladies' man - "He's the right height". Teo finishes Hollywood with an ugly swanton.

Teo in 3 minutes, Swanton?, 1/2*

Now West and Ferrara are in the ring hyping the Lingerie Battle Royal next week. The New Francine, Miss Joanie, Shannon (Daffney?), Alexis Laree (Mickie James!), The Incredible Sasha, Erin (Baltimore Cheerleader?), Elektra from ECW, Miss Taylor Vaughn, Darisa Da?? I didn't catch her name as Ed starts rambling about a kid in a candy store. Maybe I'll catch all the names if they're introduced with title cards next week. Francine grabs a mic and calls Ed "pudgy" and says none of the women compare to her. Elektra stands up to Francine and starts a catfight.

Goldylocks is in the back with Mortimer Plumtree. His character peaks with his name. He manages a tag team that bullied him in high school for reasons that are never explained. He leaves to walk "The Johnsons", Richard and Rod, to the ring.

Tag Team Match The Johnsons w/ Mortimer Plumtree vs Psychosis and James Storm

The latter is an odd pairing for a few reasons. I honestly didn't remember James Storm started off without Chris Harris and America' Most Wanted. He even has the prop guns firing blanks in the ring, which was always a nice touch. I feel like this is where I mention that the Johnsons are in full body suits and masks that make them look like walking penises. In other news, Psychosis is going without his trademark horned mask. Alicia from WCW is on the stage scouting the match. There's a fella in an XFL jersey in the stands. What year is it? "Buff your(sic) still the stuff" sign spotted. Ferrara "These Johnsons just look good". They hit simultaneous clutching suplexes to take control of the good guys, but Mortimer interferes to let one of the Johnsons hit their finisher on Cowboy. Post match, the ref pays off the lady watching the action.

The Johnsons in 4 minutes, Samoan Drop into Neckbreaker, *

Stan and Bo Dupp harass Goldylocks in the back until they run into the brothers' shared girlfriend in a quick nothing segment.

Borash introduces 1993 Rookie of the Year and Winston (yes, cigarettes) Cup Points Leader Sterling Martin. K-Krush is out to save us from the race car drivers. He's getting booed, but this would be a face promo anywhere other than Huntsville Alabama. K Krush "Damn you, and Damn Alabama" Brian Lawler is out to save the NASCAR dopes from the angry black man. He cuts an angry promo about "your kind" while the crowd howls in racist jeer. It's a pretty ugly segment considering "Grandmaster Sexay" Lawler is still clad in his Too Cool black rapper cosplay outfit.

Backstage, Jeff Jarrett is choking Jackie Fargo.

Tag Team Match Christian York & Joey Matthews vs The Dupps w/ Fluff Dupp

For better or worse, now I know their girlfriend/cousin's name now. After the crowd roared for the pasty white NASCAR duo, commentary is really going in on how these two wrestlers are completely fucking stupid and southern. The Dupps' intro is very boring twangy banjo crap, and they're not much better in the ring. Matthews hits a move called the Virginia Necktie that looks pretty nice. I think the non-Dupp team is working face, but it's hard to tell who the crowd is popping for. The Dupps win with some cheating and Fluff interference.

The Dupps in 4 minutes, Crotch shot, 1/2*

Before the Gauntlet For The Gold, we get a Toby Keith music video. He is singing "Angry American". Jeff Jarrett walks out and pushes Toby Keith off his little stupid stool and the crowd goes wild and honestly, I screamed in joy and Jeff Jarrett turned face for my money when he says "Nobody wants to hear that damn song, and take your Angry American Ass OUTTA HERE".

The Gauntlet For The Gold 20 Man Battle Royal for the NWA Heavyweight Championship Of The World

Buff Bagwell runs down for number 2 and the bell rings. Maybe it was for the main event finally starting but honestly the crowd goes pretty wild for Buff Bagwell laying hands on Double J. Buff hits a couple signature moves, but gets tossed before the next entrant. Ragin' Cajun Lash Laroux Is 3. He falls victim to The Stroke and is eliminated fast. "Somebody pissed in Jeff's Cheerio-s this morning!" Here comes Screamin' Norman Smiley at 4. The second largest pop of the night so far comes for the Big Wiggle. Jarrett tosses him anyways. Apolo comes down at 5, getting more offense than the previous entrants combined. K-Krush is 6. His signature axe kick gets tremendous boos, they hate him. Slash w/ James Mitchell is 7. Del Rios is 8. He is some kind of bodybuilder and it shows. Slash bites his way out of a belly to belly suplex as the announcers stress everything is legal. Justice is 9, I think this Is the future Abyss, but I can't swear to it. He hits a Black Hole Slam and now I'm 99% sure. Konnan is 10, yelling "Arriba La Raza" on his way to the ring. Abyss sells Konnan's facebuster a la HBK vs Hogan and I love it. 11 brings out Joel Gertner "I'm gonna be with 5 girls in Huntsville because I don't settle for less" He gives an X-rated introduction for the man they call Bruce of the Rainbow Express, led out by Lenny Lane. I'm not gonna bother listing all of the homophobic euphemisms the announce team runs through explaining who the Rainbow Express are. Rick Steiner is 12. He dumps Slash and Abyss with a couple impressive shows of strength. Malice is 13, dealing out chokeslams. Bruce, K-Krush, Del Rios,  Konnan, and Steiner go out quickly thereafter. Scott Hall is 14. Toby Keith? is 15. He suplexes and tosses Jarrett. Not that anyone cares, but Toby Keith leaves through the middle rope to chase Jarrett and is never officially eliminated. 16 brings Wildcat Chris Harris. Vampire Warrior, former Gangrel, runs down seemingly early as an entrant with no music? The on screen countdown timer disappeared during the Toby Keith situation. Dangerous Devin Storm, aka Crowbar, is probably 18. Steve Corino comes in at 19, the only former NWA Champ. Ken Shamrock is out at 20. "Hall was framed" sign spotted. Brian Christopher/Lawler is number 20 and I realize now that Toby Keith was not an official entrant. Brian clears out Chris Harris, Vampire Warrior, and Crowbar mostly by holding the top rope down when they ran by. He dumps Corino shortly after. Christopher and Apolo get dumped by Malice next. Then the cameraman somehow misses Malice back body dropping Scott Hall over the top, leaving Malice vs Ken Shamrock to go to a  pinfall or submission.

Malice vs Ken Shamrock, Special Referee Ricky The Dragon Steamboat

Malice gets some advice from Father James Mitchell at ringside.  After going back and forth, Shamrock gets an awesome cross arm breaker reversal of a choke slam. After a long tease of tapping, he gets the rope, maybe with James Mitchell pushing it a little toward his client. A big boot leads into the Ankle Lock and Shamrock refuses to break it on the ropes, after even a 7 count, leading to heated words with Steamboat. Shamrock wins with a Belly to Belly to a big pop despite his heel tactics. Cue pyro, and hoisting the tiny gold belt.

Ken Shamrock wins a 5 minute match following a 33 minute battle royal, Belly to Belly. **

The match was a little too long, even with Jarrett speeding up the beginning by tossing the opening entrants as fast as possible. Speaking of Double J, he fights with legends and security backstage before emerging with a microphone. He punches the legends after moaning about the battle royal until Toby Keith and Jackie Fargo come back out to book Scott Hall vs Jeff Jarrett next week, the show ends with them brawling up the ramp.

That wraps up episode 1! They have some marquee singles matches next week in addition to crowning the first X Division champ, I'll see you then to wrap up the two first Alabama shows before settling into The Asylum.

Today our HUGE Amiami box came and it’s two months of backed up YOI stuff (plus stuff from other series but this post is focusing on just YOI), so here is an absolutely massive loot post. I  think this literally almost doubled our YOI collection.

First off is the Chara-Forme Yuri on Ice Acrylic Strap Collection Vol.3 by Empty! These are all Kiss and Cry themed and in my opinion this is one of the cutest sets they’ve released. Look even Georgi is adorable lol. 

This is the Yuri!!! on Ice Rubber Strap Collection Pair by Movic. There’s actually one non-pair in there as you can see lol. Yes they did remember the ring on the Victuuri one, by the way. Recent merch has been getting better about this, thankfully. I really like this set a lot (especially the bottom two. IDEAL). The only thing I’m not a fan of is how the ‘transparent strap’ style of them washes out the color in their faces a bit so you can’t see their blushes from the original art! 

The  Chara-Forme Yuri on Ice Acrylic Strap Collection Vol.2 by Empty! These are all based on the ED theme. The Yuuri in this set is blessed by angels. I don’t make the rules. It’s just true. 

Yuri!!! on Ice Clear Rubber Strap by Sol International. These are really cute and creative and all the straps have different colored sparkly backgrounds!! The top three are obviously themed to go together (both Yuuri and Victor are singing omg), and Yuuri is talking to a tiny Phichit on the bottom one of him. Also Victor and Yuuri as JOINT HASETSU AMBASSADORS is the best thing I never knew I needed. 

Yuri!!! on Ice Choko Kawa Rubber Strap by Sega. I really like the art in this set. It’s really soft and the thick lines are nice!! Also the skating Yurio has a sweet expression, which is rare but good. 

es Series nino Rubber Strap Collection by Kotobukiya. Chris’s pose is so extra. Haha I don’t have much to say here. They’re cute. 

Yuri!!! on Ice YuraYura Keychain by Bushiroad. For some reason my photos of all of these turned out really poorly, so you get these photos where the ones I’m selling are cut off, which I guess doesn’t really matter. I wonder why they put Yuuri in that promo outfit he never wears in so much stuff. I mean it’s a nice outfit but. Anyway, I ended up really LOVING these. The colors are super bright and the art is adorable!! Also no photos but they’re just as detailed on the back (for example Yurio’s hair is braided in the back on the keychain). 

Yuri!!! on Ice Tojikore Acrylic Keychain Vol.2 by TwinCre. So these are actually keychains, but they came with plastic stands, so you can display them as acrylic stands as well which is the BEST IDEA EVER. I love this so much and I dearly hope more keychain sets do it because it is so clever and handy. @abarero figured out a really, really awesome way to display our excessive amounts of keychains, but even then, this is always going to be better to me than hanging up yet another set of keychains. ANYWAY, every single keychain in this set is a gift; from banquet dancing to katsudon pirozhki to just... all of them. It’s so good. Absolutely one of my top three faves released for the series so far. 

Here’s keychains that came by themselves!

The History Maker Yuuri and the ending theme sparkler Yuuri were ACTUALLY amiami exclusive bonuses that came with the Kiss and Cry keychains and the Ending Theme keychains, but since they packed them separately I forgot to include them in those pictures. Whoops. 

Anyway, the big chibi keychains of Victor, Yuuri, Yurio, JJ, and Otabek are by Avex and they’re chibi versions of the Comiket exclusive release keychains. JJ, Otabek, and Yurio belong to @pantacular. 

Charappuccino Phichit is by Birthday. I actually did have Victor and Yuuri ordered too, but they were a couple of the items that got canceled, and they were out of stock. I actually did manage to find them on another site and have reordered them, but they’re not here yet. This keychain is so precious. 

The Tsumamare Victor and Yuuri are the little keychains hanging by their shirts. They’re by Cospa. They’re so cute and expressive. Especially the Yuuri! 

Bocchi-kun are by ACG and they’re the little tiny pouty keychains. They’re super cute, but I admit I’m a little disappointed by how tiny they are. Though I’m familiar with the line, I’ve never ordered a Bocchi-kun before, so I was unaware of their size. I don’t regret ordering them, and I’d still have gotten them (it’s not like they were pricey), but yeah, small. 

That single Yuuri is a Jelly Charm by ACG. And lastly is the Oshikura Victor by Orange Rouge. This actually came out in January, but I missed ordering it. Victor and Yurio are relatively easy to find, but Yuuri seems to be sold out everywhere, so Victor is having to wait. I did find Yuuri somewhere, but he’s a bit overpriced. It’s not TOO bad though, so I’ll probably go ahead and bite the bullet and get him instead of having to resort to bidding on auctions.  

NON KEYCHAIN LOOT.

In front, Love&Life and On Ice Victor and Yuuri cellphone stands from Atelier Magi because they’re great. Behind that, Cospa’s Vkusno! rice bowl. Next to that, Gyugyutto cushion straps of Victor and Yuuri by Bell House (Victor gets katsudon but poor Yuuri doesn’t lol). Behind them, Victor and Yuuri mugs by Gift. And inside the mugs, Victor and Yuuri Nitotan plush by Takara Tomy ARTs (which are super cute and nicely detailed). 

Here’s the inside of the rice bowl:

‘sup from Yuuri

Okay here we go. More non-keychain loot.

The Playful Mind (that’s the brand) collaboration stuff was cute as shit so I picked up some stuff from it. Good stuff, high quality, adorable art. 

There’s two (faux) leather trays, a coin purse, a phone case, and two cord holders. 

Above that is two pass cases of Victor and Yuuri being dapper in suits by A3! There were keychains released by Animega with this art, but they are near IMPOSSIBLE to get, and I’m resigned to the fact that it will never happen, so when I saw these pass cases, I decided to snag them instead. You can use them as keychains, so they essentially serve the same purpose.  

There’s Victor and Yuuri hair clips by Emu, which I’ll actually probably sell because they are big! I thought they’d be little ones judging by the price, but they’re big and I have short hair, so we’ll see about that. Above that is three sets of can badges, all by Movic. Then there’s the super cute 2016-2017 School Calendar, which I’m so pleased stands up on its own. 

Down below is three pens. Two of them are those kitschy ‘floaty’ ones where a figure floats down the pen, in this case it’s Victor and Yuuri ‘skating down’ a rink in the pen. They’re cute. The other one is a really cool, elegant pen themed after Yuuri’s FS outfit. 

Some closer up pics: 

OKAY LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

The softe things.

Usually I crop images to just the merchandise but like hell I was going to crop out my cat. Oxford now graces this post with his remarkable presence. 

Makkachin tissue box cover by Avex Pictures. Just as fluffy as all the rumors have foretold. 

Then! The Victor and Yuuri pillowcases by M's. Extremely soft fabric!! Would recommend for resting head upon. The picture is kind of a bad angle and frankly they BOTH look weird in this photo because of it but... I think, upon seeing it in person, the complaints about Victor’s face are very unwarranted. He actually looks really good and sweet and gentle in person and very much like Victor? The problem is parts of the rest of his body, where the anatomy is wonk (but this is just the pillow, so it’s only shoulders up and you don’t get that). And Yuuri looks great of course.  

ANYWAY, that’s end of this massive post. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I’ll have a sales post up pretty soon.  ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Just because Taylor doesn't write something on twitter doesn't mean she doesn't care about a situation. Please stop using that as an excuse. It's just as bad as an excuse as someone saying they're friends with a minority.

With great power comes great responsibility. If it’s true that she cares about the situation, then she has the responsibility, and the obligation, to do something about it. It would be very, very easy for her to tweet something coming out against neo-nazis, or the Muslim ban, or the trans military ban, or any of the other terrible policies and political currents gaining traction in the US right now. She could tweet a statement that would comfort her fans of minority backgrounds and perhaps open up or change the minds of her fans who are leaning towards harmful ideologies and political values. She could share a link to donate to a charity like the ACLU or GLAAD. She could share an educational video or a news article that has moved her. She has not done any of these things. I think you should ask yourself why.

Option 1: Taylor Swift is a racist and is thrilled with the direction in which her country is headed.This option seems unlikely, so let’s move on.

Option 2: She will be speaking out in a big way very shortly, and doesn’t want to dilute the power of her big statement, coming soon. In the coming weeks, we will see Taylor pen an op-ed for a major newspaper or make a statement on tumblr, both of which she did with regards to the issue of streaming services fairly compensating musicians, an issue she cared about, in 2015.**If she takes action in the next few weeks, maybe I’ll take back some of this criticism. In the meantime, it’s been eight months since Trump was elected, and there were about 18 months full of racist, sexist, divisive rhetoric before that. She has not in any of that time spoken out. But, while we patiently wait for her to say something, at which point we’ll try to absolve her of all wrongdoing, let’s move on.

Option 3: Taylor has watched the rise of neo-nazis and the surge of racist policies coming down from the White House, and she feels terrible about it. She cares, very much. But….she also has an album coming out soon. And the theme for her album is “There will be no further explanation. There will just be reputation.” (TS on Instagram). She wants this album to speak for itself. And it would just kind of fuck up the whole concept album and album promo for her to be vocal on other issues in other ways, even if those issues are, for many, life-shatteringly important. In other words, Taylor values her brand and her album’s success and artistic concept more than she values standing up for the rights of POC and other minorities. In other words, “not her problem.”This option is probable, but falls into the perhaps unfair stereotype that Taylor is only out for herself, for her own bottom line, and only cares about her own personal fortune and fame. So, while this option seems possible to me and I would like to keep it open as a possibility, let’s move on.

Option 4: Taylor has watched the rise of neo-nazis and the surge of racist policies coming down from the White House, and she feels terrible about it. But, as a white Christian woman, the impact of policies like the Muslim ban, the trans military ban, the possibility that Trump will end DACA, the wall between Mexico and the US, the pardoning of Sheriff Joe Arpaio and its symbolism with regards to unchecked police power (which reverberates with the BLM movement and the rights of Latinos in the US), the neo-nazis organizing around the country and marching while chanting slogans like “Jew will not replace us”—as a white Christian woman, the impact of these politics and rising tides of racist sentiment do not personally affect Taylor Swift. Therefore, while she cares about these issues and wishes they would go away, they do not feel like urgent issues to her, issues about which she needs to speak up immediately. This right here is the definition of privilege: having the choice to ignore prejudices, prejudicial actions, racist societal structures, because they do not directly affect you. People of color, particularly Latinos and African Americans; trans folk and other members of the LGBTQ+ community; and Jews do not have the option to ignore these issues right now and go about our days as usual. These issues are urgent for us.

Option 4 seems the most likely for me as to why Taylor has not yet spoken out, at all, about what’s going on in America. Much has been said about people in Taylor’s privileged position over the years: “[First] they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Jew.” (Source: The US Holocaust Memorial Museum). Or, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.“ (Desmond Tutu). Or, “[T]he Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice.” (Martin Luther King, Letter From Birmingham Jail).

TLDR: As a privileged, powerful, white, Christian woman, if Taylor cares at all about what’s going down in the US right now, it is her responsibility and obligation to speak up about it. By not having done so yet, we have to assume that either 1) in opposition to your premise, that she does not care about these issues (and may be a racist). 2) That she will be speaking out, very shortly, any minute now, and we just have to wait patiently, as we have been waiting for around 24 months, for her definitely forthcoming statement. 3) That she cares about these issues and about POC rights, but she cares about her brand, having as many fans as possible (even the neo-nazi ones) and her album’s success more than those human rights. 4) That she is a white feminist who does not realize that her failure to speak out about these issues echoes the failures of generations of past white feminists and other parties who remained neutral in periods of great injustice. That she is failing her responsibility to use her privilege to uplift those beneath her. That she is blind to the problem with her failing to speak out, even as articles about it with direct regards to her abound. That she has heard discussion of her own insufficiencies, but is brushing them off as “just criticism from the media about me, uh-gain” and is turning a blind eye to her own failures, rather than correcting them, in a way that directly harms (or at least fails to help) minority populations.

**Note that for this issue of musician’s rights with regard to compensation from streaming services, Taylor cared so much that she felt she just couldn’t stay silent: she, a person with the power to make change, needed to speak up for the voiceless: “This is not about me… . This is about the new artist or band that has just released their first single and will not be paid for its success. This is about the young songwriter who just got his or her first cut and thought that the royalties from that would get them out of debt.“ (from Taylor’s tumblr letter To Apple, Love Taylor. After Taylor posted this letter, Apple changed their policy within 24 hours, making Taylor acutely aware of the power she wields, if she wasn’t before. From the New York Times: “When Taylor Swift speaks, even the most powerful company in the world listens”).

Tues 17 Sept

Louis took questions on YouTube, and once everyone eventually figured out how to find his answers, it was very exciting! In one tiny little sentence he told us more about his songwriting process than maybe ever before which was extremely exciting and (clickbait voice) the answer may surprise you! He said he will "talk about what I want to write about first then work through melody and then on to the specific lyrics." Other answers included that the next single was written two years ago, which fits with the speculation that it might be Habit which he tweeted lyrics from a year and a half ago (as opposed to being part of the 70% of the new album that he tells us was written within the last year) among other interesting things, and then everyone got so sidetracked arguing about whether his preference for jacket potatoes with tuna was good or gross (and learning what a jacket potato was) that his last few answers almost got lost in the shuffle. Much like Louis himself, louies can get a little, uh, worked up about food choices. Anyway that was lovely and there's lots more Louis ahead; BuzzFeed announced a segment coming soon today, as did Indonesian radio, another UK outlet, and, drumroll, US promo is beginning! The first US radio spot was announced for tomorrow afternoon! Looks like the US-promo-after-Madrid predictions were right on target.

Already well into US promo: Liam. He's all over New York today, posting pics from the street and out skyscraper windows, getting papped more than once, playing at Sirius FM (the performance will air tomorrow morning) and some clips are already out but that's nothing on tomorrow, when what seems like every one of those prerecorded UK spots will air: eight have been announced so far. We've gotten some standard patter about the song, and he said that SIU "is like Strip That Down's little brother" which, I know he's sort of talking about having Ed Sheeran as a writer again but clearly there are similarities in sound and direction as well and boy. Does it raise some questions and concerns what with his big talking point this whole spring being about how Strip That Down wasn't really him or what he wanted to be doing and he'd realized that he was just lost and that was a sign of it and things were going to be different going forward. A lot of things about Liam's current trajectory are concerning. The song sounds good and I really think it can be the hit he clearly wants and I look forward to supporting it but like many, I feel, well, concerned.

Niall, who Liam tells us was "ready for a One Direction comeback before the hiatus had even properly begun," isn't quite to the press tour stage yet for his new music but he is out here being exciting: he's filming a video in London! Seen with him in the video: at least two dancers (dancing not seen) and a female model, Australian Georgia Mae Gibbs. She is, do I even need to say it, a tall thin brunette. Niall was unhappy about pap pics of the shoot and asked people not to pay attention to them and miraculously didn't end up snapping at someone who brought up the old you only get papped when you mean to quote (maybe he was just too busy) though I imagine he would have pointed out that this is a very different circumstance then he was talking about then. 1D and NH1 songwriter Ruth Anne Cunningham talked about writing with Niall on NTMY, and in the past. She says when she went to write with 1D the first time Louis didn't show up that day so her and Niall ended up just working together and getting along great. Louis clearly did show up eventually as she wrote on No Control among others, but it seems her and Niall had bonded well by then and we all win as a result, they're a great writing team. And in I'll believe it when I see it and also whaat is happening news, Disney has apparently STILL not cast for Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid and on the current maybe list? It's Niall! Amazing.

The 1883 mag photoshoot outtakes of Louis that surfaced a couple days ago were revealed to have been hacked prior to being sold and the photographer was not pleased to see them out in the world, and Zayn's youngest sister Safaa got married yesterday; it's assumed Zayn was present in the UK for the event.

#ThinkPositive2017: Jul 6

Slept until my alarm went off

Bagels and tea for breakfast

Cracker Barrel for dinner - I branched out from my usual and got something other than breakfast food

Brett Ritchie is sticking around in Big D for another two years! Praise hockey jeebus the Stars re-signed him!!

New pics/videos of Niall in Japan for Slow Hands promo

Harry’s friend’s posting pics of him on their instas - they can chill for a hot sec

More Dunkirk promo

Two Ghost’s is Harry’s next single!!

Liam’s collab with Zedd dropped and it’s a total bop - I dig it

Louis’s insta post teasing his new single that drops in 2 weeks!

Michael’s insts posts

Luke’s insta posts

5sos are all together in one place - YAY!! Now give us some new tunes please :)))

Ed’s Today Show performance :)))))

Ke$ha’s new single - good lord it is heartbreakingly beautiful and I’m so glad she’s finally finding some peace because god knows she deserves it!