#this is more than just 'someone with an opinion i don't like'
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Feud - CC
Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: You and Caitlin navigate a long-standing basketball feud (based on THIS, THIS, and THIS request)
Warnings: mentions of injury, slight angst, happy ending
Word Count: 4.4k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: I am saying this now, I do not think I will be doing a part 2 for this. Not anywhere in the near future at least.
If someone were to tell you by your senior year of high school you would have a rivalry going on between you and some girl from Iowa, you would call them crazy.
You grew up in Southern California - attending Mater Dei High School and playing ball year-round. You were looked at as one of the most promising college recruits alongside girls like Paige Bueckers and Caitlin Clark. As exciting as it is to be named alongside these girls - it also came with its challenges.
The media caught wind that you were talking to Iowa. Talking initially all about how Iowa was going to be a powerhouse of a team having both you and Caitlin. When you announced that you committed to South Carolina - that is when they immediately pitted the two of you against each other.
It was all funny to you since you had never met the girl. You were encouraged to not look into what the media was saying but there were times that just wasn't possible. You saw how they compared the two of you - never showing the full truth. Even in the facts, they would only take bits and pieces of it and try to show the world how one was better than the other.
When you got to college - it only got worse. You remember your first game against Iowa. It had been all the media could talk about - seeing you go up against Clark for the first time. You saw headlines that went from saying how you didn't want to live in Caitlin's shadow or how you couldn't keep up with Caitlin's growth. Other headlines talked about how she hated you so much that she made you choose a different state to go to school. All of it was a load of bull in your opinion.
At your first game against the Hawkeyes, you were more nervous about all the talk surrounding you and Caitlin than the game itself. You couldn't get the last headline out of your head - 'Caitlin Clark to run circles around SC's freshman'.
"Hey, don't let any of what they are saying get to you," one of your teammates Aliyah says breaking you from the trance you were in.
"Ya, no. I'm good," you say coming back to reality. Aliyah just nods, giving your shoulder a squeeze.
The team goes and plays an incredible game. You were up at the half and were ready to take the second half which is exactly what you did. It was probably your best game yet and you couldn't be more proud.
At the end of the game, someone comes into your locker room and asks you to step outside. You follow before heading to the pressor to find Caitlin standing in an empty hall.
You are surprised and nervous all of a sudden but make your way over to the girl.
"Hi," you say not really sure what to say.
"Hi," she says back. As if just as nervous as you, she awkwardly extends her hand, "I'm Caitlin." You shake her hand and introduce yourself. She continues.
"I wanted to meet you in person in a controlled environment," she says with a little laugh eluding to hiding your first meeting from the media.
"Ya, they have been sort of insane," you say with a laugh of your own. "You had a really solid game today - I can see why so many people love you." You look at the girl standing before you and see her begin to fidget.
"Me?" She says on the verge of shock. " You dominated that court today - I was having a hard time keeping up with you. If anyone had a solid game it was you." She says.
"Well, thank you CC." You say with a smile. "That means a lot coming from you."
"Of course..." She says.
"I am really glad you came here," you begin. "If I'm honest - the media has been a lot recently and I know you are nothing like they are making you out to be. I don't know how you have felt about it but I truly appreciate this gesture. We don't need to be the best of friends, but we don't need to be strangers."
"I like that, although I will never stop trying to beat you on the floor." She says.
"Oh, I expect nothing less. Now knowing you are a sweetheart, I have no problem keeping up this 'feud' the media is creating - it's what the people want." You say playful giving her a little push.
"Oh that won't be hard considering the second we step onto the court my only goal is to bury you into the ground," Caitlin says with a smile. "I am sure we can keep this up and give them what they want with ease. Just know, it is all love off the court."
The two of you exchanged numbers and went on your way. Over the course of the next few years, both of your paths crossed several times. At games, award events, and random camps. Every time the two of you were in the same building the media would eat it up - always posting photos of the two of you giving each other death stares (which never really happened, they just timed it perfectly to make it seem like that or take snippets completely out of context). Since you first met her, the media hasn't taken such a big toll on you. It also helped that she would text you whenever something overly threatening or mean came out. It had you falling for the girl every time - deciding to push the feelings aside, thinking it was just her being sweet.
It was your junior year when things heated up in the media even more than they had in the past. Going into March Madness, all they could talk about was you against Caitlin so much that it brought back all the drama that started when you were going into college. Through it all Caitlin had reached out and reminded you none of it was real. It was very sweet of her.
Your two teams were facing off in the final four and you could not be more prepared.
The game was a close one the entire time - neither team had more of a 5-point lead at any time. It all came down to the final quarter.
Tied going into it - both teams fought to go to the championship game. Two minutes into the quarter things took a turn for the worst.
You were guarding Caitlin - staying vigilant on defense, ensuring she didn't get a good shot. When she went up on a jumper you hit her arm while trying to block the ball drawing the foul. You cursed at yourself for allowing her to go to the free-point line.
She makes the first one with ease and sets back to the line for a second. Everyone anticipates it going in but the second she releases, you can see how her eyes shift as she begins to make her wait for the ball. You cut in front of her, jumping up going for the rebound as she does the same. You get your hand on the ball trying to hold onto it as you make your way down to the ground.
What you weren't expecting was to be shifted so much that when you came down you landed directly on your knee, causing you to let out a murderous scream. Your hands immediately let go of the ball and make their way to the center of the pain - your knee.
The stadium silences immediately - leaving only your cries as you curl up into a ball.
Caitlin - being the closest one to you is hunched over you with her hands on your shoulder while your teammates run to get medical.
"You're okay, you're okay." She keeps muttering as she really doesn't know what to do to comfort you. She knows she is the one who knocked you off balance in the air but never imagined this to happen.
"They are coming," she says trying to restore hope in you.
The medical team comes up and instantly knows they need to get you out of there immediately. They call for a stretcher which comes within seconds of them asking for it. Your eyes are glued shut as you bite the top of your jersey to avoid letting out any more screams.
The pain has blocked out anything and everything happening around you. You can't even remember how it happened, all you know is the centralized pain.
Caitlin watches as they remove you from the floor. She has never been this distressed when it has come to someone leaving the floor due to injury - not even girls from her own team. Cait makes the mistake of looking up at one of the monitors as they replay what happened and tears begin to form on the brim of her eyes as she clearly sees she is the cause of your injury. The media is going to have a field day with this but even more so - all she could think about was how she could ever begin apologizing to you.
Kate makes her way over to the shaking girl and pulls her into a hug.
"That wasn't your fault," she says in her ear. "Don't carry this."
Kate had been the only person on the team who knew the friendship that had been growing into more than Caitlin knew how to put into words. Kate could also see, Cait was very much at fault for what happened but knows how much Caitlin keeps in her head and shouldn't shoulder this right now.
Once you are taken through the tunnel - everyone does the best they can to regroup from the traumatic scene that had just taken place.
Your team was trying to regroup as they had to make adjustments on the court after losing their star player, also just trying to remain composed after seeing and hearing you go down. Kate was trying to get Caitlin to calm down and get her head back in the game. The crowd at this point remained silent until play resumed.
Your team lost to Iowa by 4 and no one could blame them. It was a hard loss but everyone was more concerned what the outcome of your injury would be over the ending of March Madness.
Once you were taken back, they decided it would be best to take you to the ER to get checked out. Shortly after arriving, they determined it was a transverse patella fracture which meant your patella broke into two and it would require surgery to fix if you ever wanted to play again. It was a no-brainer.
The next few days were a whirlwind for you - they kept you in the hospital as they prepped for the surgery and you started recovery after.
Your team came to visit and took turns rotating so you wouldn't be alone. Your manager thought it would be best to stay off of social media which you didn't argue with one bit. The last thing you needed was someone saying how your career was over. You went so far as to get a secondary phone and phone number just to communicate with the team and your family.
Once you were let go from the hospital to recover at home, you finally got your phone back and it was filled with messages. You scanned through them stopping at the one that caught your attention the most.
Phone in hand, you stared at the dozens of missed calls and messages from Caitlin. You clicked into her messages and began to read about how sorry she was and how she wanted you to let her know when you were home. You fought with yourself to listen to all of the voicemails she had left and settled on listening to the last.
You click on it and bring your phone up to your ear.
"Hi," she sounds completely defeated. "I know I have left you countless voicemails but I just really want to see how you are doing. This was never meant to happen - I...I don't know what was supposed to happen but it was not this." You hear the shakey breath that she takes before continuing. "I don't want to keep bugging you if you don't want to talk to me. If I were you, I wouldn't even be listening to this and would have just deleted it but I know you are better than I am and just pray that this gets to you. That this gets to you before any of the media gets to you or spins the story into something it's not. Not that you owe me anything, but I ask that you don't listen to any of it. Don't do that to yourself because none of it is true. It is all lies that they have spun to their own narrative." She is crying now but does the best she can to cover it up. "This was never supposed to happen, I am so sorry." She struggles out and hangs up.
You imagined the first handful of messages were similar to this one and decided not to listen to them. It wasn't out of anger or resentment but you knew that in order for you to move on you couldn't hang on that moment.
The next few months consisted of recovery. You were determined to come back for your senior year and were going to come back stronger and more prepared than you have ever been. When the season started - you were back to training but weren't jumping back into games until the third week into the season.
Your manager did a really good job of keeping you out of the media - per your request leading up to the season. The first time you were brought back into the light was during your team's first game of the season. You were on the bench - coaching and encouraging your team. It wasn't the first time the media had seen you but the first time they got to talk to you. There were preseason training videos that were released that showed you back in practice but always highlighted other players on your team.
During this first game though, you were going to be mic'd up for a midgame interview.
"We are so excited to have you on the air as your team kicks off the season, can you give us insight on how recovery went for you?"
They were really just jumping in. You let out a little laugh and proceeded to answer the question.
"I am excited to be back - recovery was not easy and challenged me in more ways than I expected it would but I can honestly say it has grown me in more ways than playing would have." You say as your eyes are glued to the game happening in front of you. "That a way Tessa! Get back get back!" You yell to your team.
"We got word that you will be back on the court in a few weeks, are you excited to be playing for your senior year?" Was asked next.
"Of course. I have been itching to get back on the court - YES PAOPAO! AND ONE! - sorry, yes I am ready to get back out there and help my team on the court. We have a single mission and are ready to conquer." You say.
"Does that one mission have anything to do with Caitlin Clark?" One of the anchors asks, curiosity getting the best of them.
You take a second to compose your answer.
"I wish nothing but the best for the girl. She has really elevated the game and visibility of women's sports in general. If our paths cross again, which I can see happening - there are no ill intentions." You say and then give your exit, going back to the game.
Caitlin was watching and couldn't stop replaying the video. You never responded to any of her messages - even the ones that came further along in your recovery. You had cut her off knowing it was what you needed. She couldn't blame you but really wanted to pick up where the two of you left off - during your time of not talking she realized how much she wanted you in her life. You were one of the only people she met with the same mentality as she had and could share in the craziness that the media spat out. You brought out the best in her without even being in the building.
Cait watched you for what felt like the hundredth time and really hoped that your paths would cross this season.
Both of your teams went the whole season without playing the other. This only built the tension for the NCAA tournament. You had jumped seamlessly back in with your team and contributed to their undefeated season. Caitlin and the Hawkeyes fought hard coming back for redemption. As the tournament heightened and both of your teams kept winning - the media kept circulating articles about the faceoff everyone has been waiting a year to see, Caitlin and you on the court again.
Right before the Final Four - videos of your injury circulated again and pitted Caitlin as the villain in this completely made-up narrative. When hearing them - it took everything in you to not reach out to her. Everyone was telling you not to talk to anyone about Caitlin. Your manager also strongly advised you to not make any contact considering everything was under a microscope.
You did really well until you saw that Iowa was playing UConn in the final four. You had been friends with Paige for years now and knew they were ready to take on Iowa but something in your heart was rooting for Caitlin.
The morning of the Iowa v. UConn game you did it. You pulled out your phone and sent a quick message. It was a simple text but carried more weight than just the words present - it was the first contact you had initiated since before your injury.
Caitlin was still in her apartment when she got the message. She was straightening her hair with cameras on her for a documentary coming out on ESPN. She puts her straightener down and picks up her phone, trying not to show the message's effect on her knowing she was being recorded. Looking at the phone for longer than needed her eyes were glued to it.
[Other half: You got this.]
She doesn't know how to respond but she wants to. As she is thinking through how, her phone rings. It's Kate. She answers and quickly makes her way out of her apartment knowing she is picking up Kate before heading to the stadium.
Caitlin didn't mention the text she had gotten - not that she could mention anything with the camera crew still present but her mind was going crazy.
The Hawkeyes went in and took UConn by two points, sending them back to the championship and facing off SC in the championship. The face-off every sports fan has been waiting for.
The celebration was grand but Caitlin's mind kept wandering back to how she was going to respond to you.
When she was finally able to make it back to the locker room, she sat and responded to you.
[CC: Can we meet up after we play?]
Caitlin sent it and sort of regretted asking but she wanted to talk to you face to face. You responded faster than she had expected.
[Other Half: Yes]
The championship game comes faster than everyone anticipated. Both teams preparing for one final game. Up to this point - you alongside a Kamilla had committed to the draft. From Iowa - Caitlin had made her statement saying she was going to the draft. Both of you know this last game is a significant one. It would be the last of your college career.
The game is a crazy one - buckets exchanged with the leads fluctuating between your team and hers. At final buzzard it was your team that came out on top.
The celebration was epic as you saw Caitlin and her team make their way to their locker. Pictures were taken and confetti was thrown. When things begin to die down you see Caitlin emerge from the tunnel looking for something. You have an idea that she is looking for you and are proven right when she spots you, nervously making your way to you.
When she approaches you - the two of you nod to one another saying little good jobs. The amount of cameras surrounding you is insane as they get the content of you two together.
You want to put this college feud behind you as you both head into the W so in one swift movement, you remove your jersey. Caitlin takes the hint and does the same leaving you both in your undershirts.
You pass your jersey to her and she does the same with you. You both hold them up and let the media get all the photos they want of the two of you. Once you are done, you pull her in for a hug.
"Meet me in the coach's room," you whisper in her ear. She nods and the two of you part.
You finish the celebration and interviews and head back to grab your stuff. Before heading out, you make your way to meet Caitlin.
When you get there you see a girl sitting in a chair, looking down at her hands as she picks at her nails. She doesn't hear you enter but looks up when you close the door. She immediately stands and makes her way to you not really knowing what to say.
You look at her and pull her into a hug. You never said it but you missed her more than anything.
"I am so sorry," she says, her words muffled as they are spoken into your neck.
"Stop apologizing." You tell the girl in your arms.
"It was all my fault - I was mad and didn't realize my strength when I went up. You were out because of me and I will never forgive myself for that," she says not wanting to let you go.
"Caitlin lighted up on yourself." You say and pull away to look her in the eyes. "If I am honest, I blamed you at first. I was upset and frustrated and blamed you. But as time went on, I realized I only had myself to blame. You were playing the game - I would have done the same exact thing. As I was recovering - I started to be thankful for what had happened because it forced me to grow up. No one likes to be injured but I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have that time."
Caitlin nods along to everything you say. You bring your fingers to wipe away the tears that fall.
"If anything I should be the one apologizing," you say and Caitlin shakes her head from side to side.
"No, you have nothing to apologize for."
"I do, I cut you out and I shouldn't have. I am sorry." You say. "Friends?" You ask sticking your hand out in a joking manner.
She takes your hand and shakes it. "Friends." She confirms.
The next week is a whirlwind as the two of you part ways to get ready for the draft. You two talk at least once a day trying to figure out what the next chapter of your lives could possibly look like.
When the night finally comes, it is more than you can imagine. Seeing so many congregate to highlight the sport and get ready for another great season while welcoming the new rookies is something you will never forget.
Caitlin is picked first - heading to the Indiana Fever. You could not be more excited for her. You were mentally prepared to head to the Phoenix Mercury or the New York Liberty.
It comes as a complete shock when you are picked by the Indiana Fever as well. You head up to the stage and go through your initial interview.
As you make your way back - you barely get to the hall before you see someone running up to you. Before you know it, Caitlin is in your arms. Her body is flush against yours as her arms wrap around you, squeezing you with everything she has. You lift her off the ground and squeeze her right back.
You could care less about who is watching - the only thing running through your mind is that you are about to spend the next four years with the girl in your arms.
When you place her on the ground she doesn't let you go but rather buries her face into your neck. You smile and let her hug you for as long as she wants.
It's in this moment that things begin to stir inside you. Your heart swells and you feel whole. Your hand comes up to hold the girl's head. There is no way the two of you are just friends and this moment solidifies that for you.
Weeks pass after the draft and you are getting situated in Indiana. You and Caitlin decided to find an apartment together.
The night of the draft the two of you found your way back to each other after going your separate ways to celebrate. That is when Caitlin admitted to having feelings for you dating back to your sophomore year of college. You sat there in complete awe of the girl and admitted that you had just recently realized your feelings for her but could probably date it to your recovery. From then on the two of you decided to take it slow - knowing how the media has been towards the two of you up to this point.
That sort of flew out the window when she asked you to find an apartment together when you both moved to Indy. And you were sure as hell glad she did.
After four years of the media pitting the two of you against each other, you were finally able to change the narrative. You were no longer rivals but now the new power team ready to take on the W.
AN: Tried to get a little of everything in here, I hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark imagine#caitlin clark concepts#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark masterlist#iowa hawkeyes#iowa wbb#wnba#wnba basketball
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Listen I'm gonna drop a bit of too much info here. I'm a bi woman who is a part of the the bdsm community. I don't kink shame. I have nothing against daddy kink (between consenting adults) whether it's in fiction or real life. But the issue here isn't T*mmy trying to be kinky the issue is that Buck had just dealt with a lot of serious emotional stuff. His father figure almost dying. Seeing his best friend and the boy he looks at like a son severely struggling and not being able to fix the situation.
He tries to open up to T*mmy and tell him how he thought he'd almost lost Bobby for good this time and instead of T*mmy responding with something comforting and understanding he basically tells him to get over it "your dad's alive." Then makes a sex joke.
Most of us aren't being prudes we're pissed because Buck deserves a better relationship. The writing for them as a ship is also just god awful. Not just in this scene but in all of their scenes. I get that some people think they look cute or hot together but there is just no substance here. There was more substance in his relationship with Ali than there is with B/T.
Also while the op of that original tweet is out there trying to school people let me add a few reminders. Someone not liking a scene on a tv show doesn't automatically make them homophobic. Not all queer people or queer men engage in kink or daddy kink. Not all queer people even like that kind of stuff and no one has to. Daddy kink can be a big squick for some people especially some who are survivors of trauma. Stop trying to make people feel like shit because they a have a different opinion than yours.
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All of your colleagues in the office knew of Satoru's long-standing crush on you. Who would have known that behind his sharp wit and debonair aura, he was actually an absolute sap of a man?
They didn't know he looked up to you so much because you bailed him out of an error-riddled document he made when he was just starting the job. It was only normal for you to do so since he was your junior, and you didn't want to get chewed out by your Department Chief.
But after that night of overtime, you were his saviour, and the last thing he wanted to do was saddle you with any more grunt work, so he worked doubly hard to submit perfect reports to you.
Even you had to admit that Satoru was a good-looking kid. He was always dressed impeccably well and smelled amazing, too. He's two years your junior but an incredibly quick learner— so much so that the Department Chief started taking notice of him, too. You wouldn't be surprised if he got promoted to team leader soon.
And though you've seen how dependable he is when it comes to work, he still can't help but act a little spoiled and babyish around you. He'd ask you to fix his tie for him, or maybe straighten out his collar. It's always your opinion he seeks out first whenever there are team discussions, as though he was showing off and asking you to back up his ideas. He had a good head on his shoulders, but he tends to forget whenever you're around.
Satoru's crush on you has been a long-time open secret at the office. You've been asked how you felt about the whole thing and you didn't really have much of a thought about it. Though it made you wonder... If he liked you that much, why hasn't he ever made a move on you for real? Then again, how would you react if that were to happen?
And that made you think. A lot.
And drink.
A lot.
After closing yet another deal at work, your Department Chief called for a night of celebration— their treat, too, and somehow your glass of beer became a bottomless well that was only pulled away from you by none other than Satoru, who saw you had way too much to drink that night because—
You didn't want to think.
But, oh, how could you not? Your adorable junior held you to his chest as he gently wrestled the half-empty beer glass out of your hands— wait, adorable? Satoru was six feet of coolness, for the lack of a better word. Surely you aren't talking about that Satoru—
"Senpai, you're drunk."
His voice echoed in your ear, but you couldn't hear anything from the sound of his heartbeat against your cheek. He sounded far too calm for someone whose heart was in hysterics. The sound soothed you so much that you were already half-asleep in his arms while the rest of your team noisily and happily drank their fill in the brightly lit izakaya.
You were awoken by the sound of your Department Chief's farewell spiel for the week. It was a Friday night and tomorrow was a day-off so everyone had the luxury of nursing their hangovers for as long as they could the morning after. You could only faintly hear their words of thanks, followed by "it's about time we wrapped up" and "we'll leave the team leader to you, Gojo-kun".
"Mmnngh..."
You felt Satoru's chest tremble, closely followed by a soft chuckle. "Senpai, stop grumbling. Bucho-san said thanks for your efforts. We're going home now."
How you got home was a mystery, because you remember walking half-asleep in your junior's arms and falling into an even deeper sleep on the cab ride home. He nearly carried you to your bed, but not without laying you down with the gentleness of a mother setting her child to sleep. Somehow your bed smelled just like him...
He was about to turn away from you when you pulled him by his necktie. Surely you can reward him a bit... "Gojo-kun, you like me, don't you?"
Oh, who am I kidding? At this point, you already overthought and confirmed that you liked him back. "I like you, too, so..."
"...Senpai? You're drunk, s-so don't—" He was back to his babyish way again, but he was obviously just taken aback by your sudden boldness. You pulled him down until you were caged in his arms, his rigid torso looming over you, his kind yet confused blue eyes drinking in your features like he hadn't had enough earlier that night.
"I'll sleep with you, but only if you consider this a dream."
"You mean to say...?"
Satoru sounded like he was considering things.
"Forget about everything when you wake up."
Imagine your embarrassment the following morning when you discovered you weren't at your place but at Satoru's apartment instead. You were confident he'd leave quietly after last night but that wasn't the case since it was you who stayed over. Forget about everything when you wake up. Tough luck. And stupid of me to even—
You were still fully clothed. And Satoru was nowhere to be found on his bed.
"Are you awake, senpai? I laid out a change of clothes for you and made breakfast for us, so come out when you're ready!"
For all your big talk last night, you were incredibly ashamed by the whole ordeal. It was embarrassing enough that he had to witness such an uncool side of you, but even more so now that you were imposing on the young man's kindness. Still, you decided to change into a fresh shirt that smelled just like him and face the music.
There he was, setting his dinner table with an elated smile that grew even wider when he saw you in his shirt. "Good morning, senpai! I hope you don't mind sandwiches for breakfast. I don't usually eat rice in the morning..."
He sat you down across from him and laid a plate of what looked like a club sandwich, the bread lightly toasted and the greens still moist from washing.
"Gojo-kun—"
"Before anything else, there's something I have to tell you... About last night, senpai... You said you liked me too. And all night I felt terrible because I never even got around to confessing to you and you beat me to it," Satoru stated, but not before concluding with a small sigh of defeat. "Then again, you were drunk last night, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was just your alcohol-fueled—"
"Don't say that, Gojo-kun! I-I meant what I said, s-so please don't just dismiss them as drunk ramblings," you said in surprise, raising your hands in defence as you reasoned with him. He reached out for your hands from across the table, and you could have sworn you felt him slightly trembling. In... In nervousness? If that were the case, he really does a good job of not showing it at all.
"I like you, senpai," he said with his normal, straightforward coolness that seemed to have everyone at work hooked onto him. Though his gaze seemed to soften as he looked away from you sheepishly, his babyish side rearing its head this time. "And if... if that offer of yours from last night still stands... At least don't tell me to forget about it."
I suppose I like both of them. Both his cool and his cute side, you thought to yourself. You won't be forgetting that Saturday morning anytime soon. And neither would he.
#songsofadelaidewrites💛#mari's prompts 🎠#jujutsu kaisen#jjk au#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#things i can't stop thinking abt lol#this is mari's gojo satoru shoujo leading man agenda#starry divider by @/cafekitsune
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-ˏˋ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ CRUSH HDCS ࿐ྂ Pt. 1.....
WARNING: × pure fluff in my opinion
SUMMARY: just some idiots with a crush...you :)
CHARACTERS: Aether, Albedo, Al-haitham, Amber, Arlecchino, Ayaka, Ayato & Baizhu x F!Reader
WORD COUNT: 1.537
AETHER
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Paimon is so done with his constant ranting and crying about you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 She had to stop herself from telling you so often like "Just PLEASE date him already" because she couldn't just fall into her besties back like that
ᯓᡣ𐭩 you would think he doesn't really like you cause he's all quite. Wrong, he actually jusz tries to cope with his rising heat and nervousness around you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he once tell you that you smell nice even tho you were sweating lile a sinner in church? Yes
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did he also tell you that you look a bit different and like you haven't slept good after a haircut?...yes
ᯓᡣ𐭩 listen, he was concerned for you-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 everything was so embarrassing for him he thought you hate him now--- well, you didn't. Its hard not to find this weird and awkward ball of sunshine nice
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he also helps you out a lot, no matter whats the issue he's ready to help. And Paimon is the third wheel
ᯓᡣ𐭩 sometimes when he's nervous and talks to you he like suddenly needs to swallow down spit cause it gets stuck in his throat?? Idk how to explain it but i have this issue lol and its so hard to cover up the swallowing cause then people know youre nervous-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 literally once walked into a wall because he was looking at you. Luckily no one saw...except Paimon--she won't let him forget that ever
ᯓᡣ𐭩 speaking of Paimon, bro literally asked her for advice, and she was useful? Hey, look. Shes more than just emergency food-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she was like, "If you truly love someone, you cook them something good! Love goes through the stomach!"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and thats why he desperately cooks for you every day---just put Paimon out of her misery and kiss him already
ALBEDO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how and why it happened but he won't complain, you are pretty so-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 kinda takes it as an opportunity to study love a bit lol. Its not like he's dumb, far from that, he knows what hes feeling and why he feels attracted to you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but somehow he can't tell you, words fail him to explain why although he knows
ᯓᡣ𐭩 is confused and is irritated lol
ᯓᡣ𐭩 did tell Succrose about it and my girl can hardly keep secrets-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh and like around a week after he noticed his crush on you he confessed
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's pretty blunt and honest, straightforward if you will.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 there's honestly not much to say, he knows he likes you, also probably knows it's mutual, logic conclusion would be that he confesses so you two can consider a relationship after some time
ᯓᡣ𐭩 easy??? Like what's not to get???
AL-HAITHAM
ᯓᡣ𐭩 the strongest feeling he ever had for someone else was a book character-and that's also pretty rare cause he doesn't read fiction he only reads facts-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 treats you normally with a sprinkle of kindness
ᯓᡣ𐭩 you don't notice, no one would notice. Good for Al-Haitham cause ew what if people realize hes just a regular human being?? Can't have that
ᯓᡣ𐭩 would tell you to take breaks and eat an apple or other fruits in those breaks so you can concentrate better afterwards. Oh and take a breath of fresh air
ᯓᡣ𐭩 keeps the bitch face on. Only drops it when you're not looking.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 finds it incredibly cute when you play with your hair or bite your lip. Your concentration is adorable...
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you read like him, he would consider reading one of your favorite books, even if it's stupid and not his thing at all. He wants a good reason to talk to you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 has no idea how to get out of the "I'm so fucking cool" bs to actually get closer to you without seeming cringe or needy
ᯓᡣ𐭩 feelings aren't his thing but hey, he trys. Just pay more attention and maybe you make it easier for him by doing the first step
AMBER
ᯓᡣ𐭩 nah cause she's so honest about it-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 probably all Mondstadt and their granny's know that Amber has a crush on you, except for you....dumbass
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she always asks you if you wanna join her on god knows what adventures
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she also always packs lunch for you
ᯓᡣ𐭩 like i said, she is pretty vocal about it and shows it quite well that she has an interest in you....and youre just brushing it off as kindness
ᯓᡣ𐭩 always ready to help! And she doesn't even need a thank you. Helping you is enough to make her happy, seeing your relieved is all she needs.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 gifts you flowers on a regular basis because they're just as pretty as you ♡
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's so straightforward about her crush on you it's insane. People think she's dating you already, well wrong--
ᯓᡣ𐭩 big talk and actions but when it comes to beinh very vocal about her feelings she shuts down-she would stutter and blush not knowing what to say-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 like, pls stop being so oblivious to her attempts and just tell her you like her--then she'll confess too!
ARLECCHINO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 look, she's a busy woman (father), she doesn't have time for stupid crushes. She'll either tell you immediately once she figured it out, or just waits till the feelings disappear over time.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 why? If she is uncertain that this would work out with a fatui harbinger, then she wouldn't confess at all. You won't notice a thing.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but if she does feel like it could work out, maybe not immediately because you need time...and yeah maybe she needs to know a 100% too, she would court you (??)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 presenting you the finest things from all nations. Also giving you ifts from your home region cause...well maybe you miss it? And if you're from Fontaine she gives you only the most expensive shit hidden from all normal ordinary people-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she sneaks her way in your heart ngl-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and if she ever sees you with one of the things she gave you, she would make sure others know. Who knows who might have an interest in you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 would also make some space in her schedule just for you. Lets you know too. No, not to make you feel bad, nahhh. She wants you to know how important you are to her.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and that she will always have time for you no matter what.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's kinda advertising herself. "Look, I'm the baddest bitch around."
AYAKA
ᯓᡣ𐭩 also makes space in her very busy schedule just for you. And if she can't find the time so you both can be alone, she takes you with her to her appointments and everything.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 wants her brothers 'ok' for it all. She wouldn't feel quite comfy if Ayato wouldn't like you. Thomas opinion is also very important to her.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if she every plays this weird cooking game with you, she trys to make it tame. She doesn't want you too disgusted or near throwing up cause then she'd feel bad
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and also trys cooking for you normally. She trys ok, she's getting better and better. Takes this as an excuse to cook your favorite meals.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 dances with you! She's shy about it but she does. Ayaka teaches you her favorite dances and moves, and would get quite close to you by doing this...plus for her
ᯓᡣ𐭩 but besides this she's very shy about her crush on you and won't admit it very fast. Even after months she wouldn't dare say a word about it to you or hint anything to drastic.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 tbh, it has to be you who would need to make the first step lol
AYATO
ᯓᡣ𐭩 very obvious...I mean...he gives you flowers, jewelry, new clothes. He takes you to events or dinners, important meetings. Lets you stay in the Kamisato estate for free. Bitch you even have your own room??
ᯓᡣ𐭩 ITS SO OBVIOUS
ᯓᡣ𐭩 i can't tell you more, except, just...just talk with him about it. Confront him and say, "yes" that's all he wants to hear from you.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 and see you happy ofc
BAIZHU
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if Chansheng can keep her mouth shut he wouldn't tell you at all. Or at least not so fast.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you know, you know. Baizhus story is...something. i won't spoiler tho
ᯓᡣ𐭩 because of that he needs to be very sure about it all. He can't just jump into something that might not work out at all or have no future in the beginning.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he would show his interest with nice little gestures. Giving you medicine for free, helping your loved ones when sick also for free, smiling just a bit more at you or teaching you about herbs and all.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 he's very gentle with you, scared he might break you. In truth it's actually him who would break--
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Qiqi would notice, she's a smart girl ofc she would. Yeah she knew you two were a thing before you two knew lol
ᯓᡣ𐭩 oh yeah and Changsheng blew it all-
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Your hands wouldn't shake so much if you wouldn't love her"
TAGLIST ♡
@hehothrowawayfae @lucienbarkbark @ryu--19 @theblades @rikasurl
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#aether x reader#al haitam x reader#amber x reader#ayaka x reader#ayato x reader#baizhu x reader#arlecchino x reader#x f!reader#x fem!reader#x female reader#genshin impact paimon#genshin headcanons#genshin hcs
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Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.
Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL
A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷
HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂
Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.
But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.
I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL
He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.
Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.
And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.
I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.
As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.
Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.
Thank you!!!
They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.
I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"
HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.
That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.
For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.
THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂
Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.
He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.
He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.
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NSFW alphabet – pa17
author's note: hello hello, finally finished this <333 (after idk how many months lmao) happy to finally post it! hope u enjoy !!! and please let me know if you have any opinions or thoughts, feel very free to fill in with what you think abt these prompts (or any other paul prompts 🤭) hehe
nsfw content below !! minors dni !!!
a – aftercare (what he is like after sex)
i see paul as someone who doesn't like to make a mess, so the clean-up process is important to him. he'll either want to clean you both up with a warm, wet towel, or take a good old shower. he'll find it super cute if you don't have the energy to shower because he'll love holding you up, having you lean against his chest as the water pours on you two.
but in general, i think he'll be very soft after sex. he makes sure to tell you how good you did, praising you and letting you know how much he adores you. it's a lot of smiles and giggles, a very lighthearted vibe. and he craves skin-on-skin contact, holding you close and brushing his fingers along your skin.
b – body part (his favorite body part of his and also his partner's body)
his favorite body part of his own is his hands – just because he knows how much you love them. he loves how he can use them to give you so much pleasure, and how much you tremble from just his touch.
his favorite body parts of yours are anything he can cover with his hands. he loves seeing how big his hands are compared to your body, so holding you in his hands makes him crazy. he likes your boobs, butt and thighs specifically. (boob man!paul headcanons here)
c – cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
like i mentioned before, he dislikes making a mess. so cum will go either inside of you, in your mouth, or possibly on your chest, but then he's gotta be ready to clean it all up quickly (or lick it up). he isn't a fan of the like stickyness of it, especially in combination with your sweat, so he'll want to clean you both up after your session.
d – dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his)
i wouldn't say that i think paul is a switch, but he definitely enjoys being bossed around by you every once in a while. he loves it when you think you're in charge (when in reality, he's just toying with you, sorry), he thinks it makes you look so cute.
e – experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?)
hmmm honestly he's young so i wouldn't say he's got a ton of actual experience. though, i still think he knows what he's doing; he's a fast learner, good at adapting, and he listens well to your needs and wants. he's really good at picking up on your little signs and tells of how you like a specific thing, which i think makes him seem more experienced than he actually is. i also think he's learned a lot from watching videos, so don't be surprised when he pulls out some random trick that has you falling over the edge immediately and he just says "i saw it online"….
f – favorite position (this goes without saying)
mmmm paul will never be a more content man than he is when his girlfriend is riding him. is this a biased opinion? possibly, but i really see him enjoying it because 1. boobs on full display, so easy for his hands to cup. 2. he really enjoys not having to do as much work, especially after a long weekend etc. 3. again, he likes you thinking you're in charge when in reality, he's definitely going to be thrusting up into you.
though i also think he loves something where he can be more in control, setting the pace and just making sure you feel good. paul is a simple man, and nothing gets him going like a good old missionary where he can pin his girl's hands over her head and watch her gaze flutter as he thrusts into her.
g – goofy (is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous? etc.)
paul is a goofy guy but also very serious at times? which makes me think that he would be more serious during the deed. he'd of course be able to smile or laugh a little if something funny happened, but mostly he just wants to enjoy the intimacy and get as much out of the moment as possible.
h – hair (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
when i said i think he doesn't like things to be messy, his hair falls under that category, too. he wouldn't be completely clean-shaven, but he likes things to be neat and tidy.
i – intimacy (how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect)
i personally feel like he can be quite romantic? not over the top but a bit. i think half the time, it's just a good old fuck, but the other time he sees it more as lovemaking and he gets really soft about it. it depends a lot on his mood and the day, but if he's in the right state of mind, he loves having a long go where you're both just fully relaxed and he loves to make sure every cell of your body feels good.
j – jack off (masturbation headcanon)
oh he enjoys jacking off as much as the next guy. he's a busy guy and doesn't have time to be with you as much as he wants to (and maybe if you even live in different countries, it's extra hard). and therefor, his own hand is just the second best thing. esp during a bad race weekend when he just needs to get some of that pent up frustration out. you'll always be there with him though, no matter if it's in the form of a picture, a voice recording, a clip, etc.. and when you've spent a lot of time apart, he loves to have you on the phone with him….
k – kink (one or more of his kinks)
size. seeing you in his oversized clothes would make him go crazy. (size kink headcanons here)
l – location (favorite places to do the do)
anywhere inside the house. in his bed, on the couch, having you sit on the kitchen counter, in the shower, you name it.
i think he would be up for some teasing in public; his hands on your thighs inching up under your dress when you're sitting down for dinner, possibly even letting a finger drag across the soaked fabric of your panties. but i don't think he would want to go any further in public, because he would much rather have a real one at home where he can enjoy the moment fully and not risk anyone else seeing. you're his and only his, after all – he doesn't want anyone else to see you like that.
POSSIBLY in his driver's room if he needs to get off before/after a session. oh, and in hotel rooms during the season, but more about that later… AND OKAY LAST ONE: in his car. yes yes yes.
m – motivation (what turns him on, gets him going)
honestly, whenever you take the first step, it gets him going instantly. if you insinuate that you want to have sex with him, or that you want to try something new, he'll be jumping into bed instantly. he also can't keep his hands to himself whenever you dress up in certain outfits, especially short dresses (no matter if it's a sleek fancy one or a cute summery dress)…
n – no (something he wouldn't do, turn-offs)
he refuses to share you. he's possessive like that; you're his and only his. no threesomes or anything like that, just the thought of you with another man makes him icky. and it's not even like a funny thing, like "oh he gets jealous so easily, haha!". even teasing him by trying to make him jealous is a no-go zone, he doesn't find it amusing at all. he just gets mad and it's a huge turn-off for him. flirt with any of his friends and he will just leave the room.
o – oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
that's all i have to say abt this.
p – pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
like i said before, i think it depends on his mood!! he can be both, depending on how a race weekend has gone or just his general vibe for the day. mostly probably somewhere inbetween though.
q – quickie (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
they're definitely a part of the equation, esp during race weekends. a must to get out some of that pent up energy he so often has. makes him relax more (and he says it improves his performance, too. he got like one podium once when you had a quickie before a race and now he insists on them every time he has an important race).
r – risk (is he game to experiment? does he take risks? etc.)
in the bedroom, possibly. i think he would be up to trying new things if you really want to, but personally, he could just as well do what you always do. nothing dangerous or something that could ever hurt you even the slightest, so like even if you're trying bondage it has to be with the softest of silk straps.
outside of the bedroom, nuh uh. especially not out in public. like i said, he doesn't enjoy the risk of you accidentally being seen.
s – stamina (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)
he's a strong guy with good stamina, not sure how well it translates to the bedroom though. surely he can go for a few rounds but i think he's okay with just going all-in into one round instead. it doesn't really matter that much to him.
t – toys (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?)
not a big fan of using them but he likes to watch you use them on yourself :)
u – unfair (how much he likes to tease)
oh, he enjoys teasing you quite a lot. especially with his hands since he knows they make you so weak; showing them off, flexing them, placing them on your thighs, etc. he loves to rile you up, pretending like he isn't sure whether he will give you what you want or not, making you whine and beg for it.
he also loves it when you tease him back. it's hard for him to pretend like your actions make him feel what you want, because he's always looking up at you with a big smile and showing off how much he enjoys it. this connects to what i wrote earlier about him liking when you're in control; you're just too adorable, he can't hold back his grin.
v – volume (how loud he is, what sounds he makes, etc.)
mmmm not too loud but not quiet, i feel? groans and moans a lot but also loves just talking and praising you. i also see him being… maybe just a little whiny……. when he's being teased etc. because as we've discussed on this blog before, i think he has a little submissive streak and just. there are some sounds he can't control.
w – wild card (a random headcanon)
there's just something about doing it in hotel rooms when he's racing that really gets him going. after a while, it's like he's one of pavlov's dogs because just being in a hotel room gets him going. celebratory, fluffy sex after a good race, or rough sex after a bad weekend – it doesn't matter. it's just bound to happen.
x – x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
gonna let someone else fill in on this because i just can't 😭
y – yearning (how high is his sex drive?)
high, but again not over the top. he doesn't need to get going 24/7 but if he has a gf as hot as you, then it's gonna get high. idk he just sees you and boom, instant boner. doesn't need to act on it every time, but he could if you wanted to.
z – zzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterward)
quickly!! a sleepy boy, he needs his beauty rest. quick aftercare, and he'll make sure you're comfortable and good and resting properly on his chest before he lets himself close his eyes. but then it won't take long before he's dozing off…. he puts so much energy into the act that he's completely worn out after it, poor boy.
#f1#f2#paul aron#formula two#formula 2#paul aron x reader#paul aron x you#paul aron x y/n#paul aron x yn#paul aron smut#f2 smut#f2 x reader#f2 x you#f2 x yn#f2 x y/n#f2 imagine#f2 blurb#paul aron imagine#paul aron scenario#paul aron blurb
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No Pain
My thoughts and opinions on IWTV s02e03: No Pain
Talamasca
This whole scene with the Talamasca agent did confuse me for a bit. It threw me off when he began acting as if he were talking on the phone, but I was definitely locked into it. He's the RJ sending Daniel things as he's talking with Armand and I want to know what he knows and how Daniel will use it in this situation. I need to know what his role will be in unpacking all of whatever is going to come out in the end.
Lestat & Armand's Relationship
Dumpster fire, just as I thought. I can see the appeal of it and the way Armand showcased his power was everything to me. Him knocking and turning Lestat every way but loose was hilarious, but I always love seeing Lestat lose. I called it a dumpster fire because you could kind of tell that it wasn't anything deeper than the lust they had for each other, at least in the way Armand told it. There seems to be a lot of omission on Armand's part and I wish I could search his brain to see exactly what it was he left out. Maybe as the season goes on, we'll see more of what's inside that head and underneath that mysterious exterior.
Louis and Armand's First Dates
In the words of Johnny Gill: My. My. My. The way this date took so many twists and turns I could hardly keep up. Firstly, it was fun to see their little banter about the blocking of thoughts. Even when it got a bit intense with Armand clocking every time Louis thought about that man, it wasn't too crazy and we were able to see them reel it back in. Louis mentions letting Armand in instead of allowing his thoughts to spill and I want to know if Louis even trusts Armand that much to allow that if he could block his thoughts. But, the real kicker was when the two stopped to talk by the river. Flirty Louis is one of my favorite facets of the man and he was laying it on thick. Everything from the way the words rolled off of his tongue to the head movements to the accent was pure perfection. And the way he walked up into Armand's space as if he were going to kiss him...chef's kiss on everyone's part. I loved the way Armand was taken aback, yet intrigued, with Louis' responses as well.
Now, the intensity of the date in the little bar was through the roof. I'm still wondering why Louis is calling himself a whore for being out with other men. I know there's a reason, but I can't get my thoughts together on it. Maybe someone can help me out with that. Is it him still feeling attached to this man as his first real love? Is it the pain and brokenness coming through? Is it guilt for killing his love and leaving him back home? And the way Armand picks his brain apart and gets him to confess his relationship with Lestat was really something. It's pretty sad to see Louis' thoughts, feelings, and pain affect him like this. He deserves some happiness.
Claudia Talking About Bruce
Wow. This woman has been through so damn much in her life it's baffling. In season one, we see Louis omit the details of her assault so we didn't know the severity of it. Here, we still don't have gruesome detail (thank God) but to just think about the fact that she was not only assaulted once, but multiple times and kept under the floorboards by him. Do you know how insane that is? To not know when it'll ever stop. When they'll get tired of your "gloomy faces"? Every person Claudia has encountered has done her wrong. Every. Single. One. And that including Louis as well because he didn't even have to have her turned in the first place. I know the coven is going to put her through it even more than they already have, but I'll save that for later. Oh how I wish she could live her life the way she wants with no one in her way or trying to put her in a box.
Armand Choosing Love
Oh these two. THESE TWO. Every scene with them has my stomach doing flips. Firstly, can we talk about that tunnel scene? It's a scene that should put fear in your heart for Louis, but it's simply a build up for their first kiss in my opinion. Louis is ready to die and he's preparing himself for it while Armand stands behind him like an ominous being running his fingers through his curls and down the back of his neck. It just sends shivers down your spine in the best way. "You walked me home?" "Did I?" Please! The little moment the two share before Armand walks up to him...whew. I don't know if Armand is telling the truth about being hurt (I have an inclination that he is), I'd like to think he is, but the wavering in both of their voices hit me in the chest. The kiss?! Resuscitate me, immediately! The caresses on the face and the way Armand pulls him back in each time! I had to fan myself each time I watched it (yes, I watched it numerous times and no, it's not weird.) Just when you think it's over, Louis invites the man upstairs and I need to see the tape! But, Armand choosing love and choosing something for himself definitely opens the door for the coven to do as they please with Claudia since Maitre isn't doing his job and this frightens me.
Claudia and Her Role in the Coven
Were they hazing my girl in this episode?! All this for a speck of a spot in this coven? Electric chair just for that. And as soon as Claudia thinks she's in and has met her people, they betray her by making her play a little girl...and for 50 years at that. She's been trying to get out of this "little girl" role for the longest and now she's stuck. I can't imagine the way she's feeling about this. And we also see Armand getting involved with her physically, which...oh boy. It's just a hot mess all around. I now see what Armand meant when he said his name was in those pages and why he wouldn't want them seen. Some part of me is still being delusional about her fate. Maybe she will survive and live her life the way she planned (yes, I know this is not reality.)
#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#vampterview#louis de pointe du lac#claudia iwtv#the vampire armand#lestat de lioncourt#daniel molloy#talamasca#the vampire claudia#the vampire louis#iwtv
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How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice
Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.
Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).
So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to.
Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).
But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.
Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.
For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.
So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.
First one is the disaster-date in volume 4
Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.
The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worseing his already low opinion of himself.
Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.
Next is the argument they have in volume 8
Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace.
The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous.
At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.
The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.
The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.
And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:
He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5.
And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.
So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.
I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.
So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.
There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.
So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)
So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right?
Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?
...
Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨
So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)
Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.
(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)
Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.
Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.
Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8:
In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him!
Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎
(To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)
So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.
Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications.
He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".
He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page.
He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.
So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.
(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)
Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:
He really knows him so well.
Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.
...
Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨
So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12).
It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.
As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.
I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.
A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the viewer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)
This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖
Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god.
If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.
#cherry magic#happy pride month I guess#alternate title: adachi has 99 problems and kurosawa is all of them#he's also the solution tho so there's that lol
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The Season 2 Episode 8 of Helluva Boss recently was published quite spontaneously, so I'm writing the review while being very sleepy.
First of all... It was weird to start the episode with some cheap musical. Blitzo's solo was especially... fair to middling. I'm sorry, but I think Brandon Rogers can't sing, his voice isn't actually made for singing(that's just my opinion tho). And also hey, they remembered the cherubs! Wow. Though they made them some utter idiots, much like the other characters, I mean..
So the plot is about Blitzo going shopping for a sex toy which(in his opinion) will really rejoice Stolas. Meanwhile, the cherubs are seen living on Earth and robbing humans to "redeem themselves and return to heaven"(I won't ask how it's supposed to work). They get caught by the D.H.O.R.K.S. folk(wow, you also remembered them too, nice work Vivzie), where the agents tell the cherubs that they built a portal to Hell and made high-tech robotic suits imitating the main IMP gang. The cherubs wear them and enter the portal, ending up in the Lust Ring, where Blitzo goes shopping. The main gang attacks them(though it wasn't shown that they even were there), and OF COURSE defeats the cherubs, throwing them through the portal. The episode ends with Blitzo finally visiting Stolas and talking to him. But I'll mention it later. So... I found this episode quite weird, nothing much to say about the visuals, though some frames look like they're from another show. How some characters(especially humans) are drawn looks like they're also from another show. But I guess they don't really organise anything normally, so it just is. I also find the tone of the episode too chaotic, but the whole show switches rapidly from "Edgy black comedy" to "Unserious absurd trash comedy" to "Drama/whining/'we care about characters and their development'" stuff. Another weird thing I found about visuals is that the creators put many overly cartoonish expressions to characters, to the point that it look just ridiculous, not even saying it's out of the general style.
Some of these expressions look kinda crooked, and the other are cartoonly, but not in a way that fits the whole show. It's not a slapstick comedy, and I don't understand why the writers pretend it is. Most of the time(and it's seen in this episode) it's just lazy and poor attempts at satire on our stupid and hypocritical society, but it just doesn't work mainly because the protagonists don't seem to have more brain cells than usual humans in this universe. Earth here, although, really seem to be a thing to relieve Vivzie's malice at... everything, I guess. There is no exact satire/mocking of someone or something, so I guess Vivzie just hates every living thing in general(especially kids, for some reason). That's why the humour in this episode also seems odd in a bad way. I don't like that HB sometimes pretends to be South Park, or Family Guy, or... a typical CN show, perhaps? It just doesn't look right, it's like the writers try to copy other better works instead of making their own vibes/special tone.
Also they could use some more imagination
And about the ending... Stolas doesn't seem satisfied by Blitzo's behaviour(who acts overly sexual towards him which seems OOC), and starts... basically complaining about him being too sexual and not sensual. Guys... do you remember how it all started? Does Vivzie remember it? Literally in the 1 episode of 1 season it's shown that Stolas only uses Blitzo for his sexual pleasure, not caring about his comfort etc. He even calls him while he's on a dangerous mission. And there are lots of other moments where Stolas practically h*rasses Blitzo and makes him uncomfortable with his comments. And even since pilot doesn't seem to be canon(so Stolas didn't threaten Blitzo with r*pe), there are enough red flags about this mf. Yet in this episode he literally complains about receiving not so much love and care? That's... idk, that's shitty to say the least, and I don't know how the writers even managed. A literal abuser complaining about their partner being "not affectionate enough", that's fuckin' hilarious(sarcasm), and I say it as someone who had few abusers in my life. I still remember the previous episodes so I kinda don't buy it, but many people do, and that's sad. After that Blitzo [rightfully] angers at Stolas for complaining about lack of love while disrespecting him for being a lower class and using him as some object. Stolas only answers with "I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me", and kicks Blitzo out of his palace.
So... that's the episode. I have nothing much to say about it more, but I'm genuinely wondering does Vivzie even understand what she's doing and where she'll push the whole Stolas x Blitzo pairing(not that I fucking care, lol). These two are obviously in an abusive relationship, and the more they try to understand what even happened between them, the more confused they become. I personally think there's nothing to talk about with a guy like Stolas(though Blitzo too is a huge red flag), but idk, maybe Vivzie thinks that r*pists and abusers are changeable and are good deep down. Anyways, it was surely an odd episode, and I didn't really like it.
#helluva boss critical#anti helluva boss#anti spindlehorse#vivziepop critical#anti vivziepop#spindlehorse critical#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss salt
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(First two paragraphs sound messed up asf don't read those first and leave it at that, keep reading lmao it gets better i swear 😭)
My personal ick is when people take wlw scenes/songs and make them mlm or mlw... because brutha eugh? We already barely have shit why u gotta take OUR shit and make it all abt u. Idk... am I being a lil slow? I saw a h*skerdust ver of the more than anything reprise and kinda cringed. It was basically just a male version of the song n they jst put the ship as the cover art and yknow idk if thats what kinda urked me or if i jst hate h*skerfuck even more lately. Like... Idc if u make a cover of a wlw song unless u make it wlm. But it kinda disgusts me when someone makes it mlm too?? Like idk if that's jst me upset that chaggie isn't super popular (which is completely the shows fault and the fact ppl just always favor mlm 😭). But imma leave it at that I'm usually the type to wait for someone else's opinion so I can make my own.
When u make a mlw characters into wlw or mlm it's aight cuz they literally have the majority of the entire internet what's it gonna do? Hurt your representation? Yap yap. But it's equally messed up to me to make any lesbian media gay and uplifting that. Genderbending doesn't count, I love gender bending, but making that and putting it above the original wlw media is straight up lesbophobia I don't care.
No. I think THATS my problem actually. It's when you make any wlw media into mlm or wlm and UPLIFTING that higher than the original. THATS my problem. Not the change itself, but the putting it on a higher shelf than the smaller amount of wlw rep and saying it's "better". Because that itself is messed up asf.
It's kinda of similar to the whole carmillo carmine thing. Because they genderbent carmilla and said that he was BETTER THAN HER?? Istg hazbee fans are fucking terrified of women or somthn because I keep seeing this shit. Like my entire blog has always been women loving women. Because ykno I'm a girl kisser 😝 so it's hilarious to think abt a hazboo fan screaming in terror at two girls kissing 😭
This goes with mlm too but it's not as big of problem let's be real. It probably happens, not sure, I have NEVER seen it happen before so that's telling enough.
(THE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS SOUND BAD NOW... DONT READ THOSE AND LEAVE IT AT THAT PLEASE.)
#IF U READ THE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS AND MAKE AN OPINION ABT ME. DONT. PLEASE#IT GETS BETTER I SWEAR. I EXPLAIN MORE. LISTEN PLS 😭😭#hazbin hotel#chaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel charlie#carmilla carmine#carmillo carmine#HOW TF IS CARMILLO SO FUCKING POPULAR HE GETS AN ENTIRE FUCKING TAG. FUCK ALL OF U IST FUCKIN RAHHHHH 🗣🔥🔥#if u like carmillo more than carmilla consider urself an opp#SHE WOULD NEVER BE A TWINK. SHED BE AN OLD MUSCULAR MAN#accurate carmillo would be hot asf whyd u have to make him a twink 😭#hazbin#im scared to tag anything else in fear of attracting lesbian fearin hazbitch fans#just so yall know im also a hazbeyonce fan 😝
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(I'm writing this after painting for 10 hours straight, so I hope it makes some sense, lol.)
I've been thinking a lot about My Stand-In while painting today, and how I have different expectations of this story than some comments I've seen here and some reactions I've watched on YouTube (I've learned my lesson to avoid MDL like the plague, so I, fortunately, have no idea what's going on there). But I especially thought about why I don't particularly mind some of the things that have happened or haven't been addressed in the series so far. And I realized it's just a part of who I am and what I'm used to.
As someone who was raised on Days of Our Lives (which is weird because I'm not American), I don't mind things like the kidnapping or the transmigration in My Stand-In (and that the transmigration might never be addressed or explained).
I mean, I'm used to kidnappings, people being possessed, and long, lost, dead people coming back to life. That's just a normal Tuesday.
I don't need a revenge plot to be satisfied with the series. I don't even want a revenge plot (it would be very out of character for Joe). Fortunately, I'm pretty sure this isn't the story they want to tell.
Furthermore, in my opinion (colored by being raised in the delulu land of DOOL), I don't even need the transmigration to be addressed or explained for me to enjoy the series. I don't need Joe's feelings about what it's like for his soul to live in a new body. I don't need him to deal with the repercussions of being in a new body (that might not even be the story they want to tell). I don't need any of that because I'm used to ludicrous shit (especially the fun ludicrous shit). And I'm used to ludicrous shit that doesn't always get addressed or explained.
(I get that not everyone was raised on DOOL, and good for you if you weren't. So if you need to have the transmigration addressed, that's great. Be disappointed if it isn't. You have every right to be. Don't mind me and my ridiculous soap opera preferences.)
That's not to say that My Stand-In is ludicrous, because it isn't. It's a pretty normal story for someone like me who was raised on soap operas (and whose tolerance for ludicrous stuff is pretty high).
I mean, even if Joe is kidnapped for the umpteenth time and kept in a golden cage (yes, Stefano and Marlena, I'm looking at you), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen in My Stand-In.
Even if May has drugged Tong to get herself pregnant with his child (and that being the reason they get married) only to find out years later that it's actually his brother's child (btw, does Tong even have a brother?) (Yes, Sami, Austin, and Lucas, I'm looking at you.), I'll have a blast with it. But I'm pretty sure this will never happen either.
And even if Ming's dad turns out to be a Stefano DiMera-esque character and Sol turns out to be Joe's half-brother (because shit like that is normal in delulu Salem), I'll have a blast with it. But, again, I'm pretty sure this will never happen.
My Stand-In is no soap opera (unfortunately). But I enjoy the heck out of it as it is right now anyway. And I would enjoy the heck out of it even if it became completely ludicrous.
The only thing that disappoints me at this point is that Joe 2.0 doesn't even have white eyes even though he's possessed by another person's soul... (Yes, Marlena, I'm looking at you again.)
On a more serious note, though (let's see if I can pull this off, lol).
Based on what I've seen so far (and since I'm only on chapter 41 in the novel, which is around the end of the 4th episode, I don't know much else about the source material), I feel like the story they want to tell us is more about Joe's role as a stand-in in all the different parts of his life, about how unfair life can be, about grief, second chances, and an obstinate refusal to giving up.
I still don't think they will give us a revenge plot. I feel like the farthest they will go is for Joe to resist Ming and make him grovel for as long as possible (as he should!). They might address parts of the transmigration later. But, again, that's not really important to me.
I'm more interested in Joe mourning his old body/life rather than figuring out how his new body works. But that's just me.
I'm more interested in Ming losing his shit in his grief, repeating old patterns, and (hopefully) breaking those patterns when he gets his shit together. But that's just me.
I'm more interested in the chaos (more catfighting between Ming and Sol, please). But that's just me.
Hell, give me more of the blind shaman, who evidently sees clearer than Ming does (why did that idiot take off the glasses he wore before he left the country?! He clearly needs them...). He is more interesting to me than whatever Joe might be feeling being in a new body. Please, oh wise man, tell me more about what you see! And speak in riddles because I love a good old mindfuck. But, again, that's just me.
If a golden cage shows up or Joe 2.0's eyes start to change color or children show up claiming random people as their parents, I will probably start talking about how ludicrous this series is (but I'll still have such a fucking blast with it). This will never happen, though, because My Stand-In isn't a soap opera.
Do I need My Stand-In to be more unhinged to enjoy it? No, because I already enjoy it as it is. Do I mind if it gets into ludicrous territory? Absolutely not. I'm raised on that shit.
My Stand-In can practically throw whatever it wants at me (or not) and I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride. Because I already do.
(Btw, I Googled the cage in DOOL and I can't believe I remember that it was golden! That storyline was from 1996?! I was around 10 years old when I watched that shit (since my country was 3-4 years behind in the release of the episodes). It must've made a real impact on me, lmfao! Also, I love that when Supernatural fans raved about Jensen Ackles, I just knew him as Eric Brady, lol!)
#I wrote this after painting for 10 hours straight#so it might not make sense#the things that pop into my head when i'm in right brain land#my stand in#my stand in the series#thai ql#thai bl#thai series#my shit
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Stacy's tipsy ramblings about season 3:
I have thoughts...and I've had a bad Friday sooooo....here we go.
Do I want Pen to write as LW past S3? Yes and No. Fantasy Stacy wanted Colin and Pen to be Lord and Lady Whistledown spitting truth across the ton to all who needed to hear it. Reality Stacy wants her to have a true career and write a real novel as Penelope Bridgerton where she has her own success and Colin has his.
How are we feeling about the Ben storyline? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Sorry.....was asleep. Wake me when we give him something to actually do.
Do we feel sorry for Cressida and want to see her arc redeemed by the end of Season 3? Nope. Every story needs a villain and I'm perfectly fine to see this one drown.
Do I enjoy John and Fran? No. Their story is not exciting for me. Sorry. Nothing against them, I'm just not enjoying it, personal opinion simply my own. I'm sure others might be in the same boat but unlikely to voice that opinion and that's fine as well. Again. Personal opinion and nothing against them. Just how I feel.
Should Colin forgive Pen so quickly in Part 2? Duh. It's a gossip column. I'm sorry that she wrote some honest things that cut close to the vest for people. She didn't lie. She tried to talk to these people over and over and over again and NO ONE listens to her. Colin patted her on the head like a puppy...."Pen you are so good" when she tried to warn him and she saved his ass from twins. Soooo, yeah. Let him feel his feels but honestly, lets move on.
Do you feel like Colin's character is OOC and the brothels are unnecessary? Nope, he came back as the person society expects him to be. Just as he said. He tried to fit with the Lord Douche Brigade and went about his business. The only time he was himself was with Pen. The whole point of that was to see the difference. Brothel mess and all and I was good with that. Clutch your pearls when you want to complain about his brothers having threesomes and fucking in public against trees.
Is Pen trapping Colin by not telling him right away about LW? Girl just got all her dreams converging into one. Confessions of love and fingering all in one. Then thrown into a family marriage proposal, immediately blackmailed by Eloise to confess, Cressida taking all her life's work credit from her, the Queen hunting her down. She's 20 years old. Image the pressure. Not only that but she gets the one thing she's been coveting since she watched him fall off a horse and now it could fall to dust. El already showed her what could happen by telling that secret and she was the love of her life. No one gave her a chance to breathe much less think of what these repercussions could mean. Either way, mistakes were made, but not unforgiveable, and nothing she would not have allowed him out of. When you allow someone the chance to remove themselves, it is not a trap. Point. Blank. Period.
Is the season rushed? I don't know, I've only watched four fucking episodes. Have you watched more than me? Please tell me where to watch the other 4, I'll pay!
Am I an asshole? Nah, just had a bit to drink, did you not read the top part...ok show time over! Before I really tell you how I feel!!
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1/2- Sorry if this is a weird ask. You're a person of sincere faith who doesn't judge and I'm desperate for outside opinions. I've recently learned that many modern tarot readers don't believe in divination or spirits, but rather that the images on the cards can help us think about things and bring out deeper ideas from our own subconscious. Zero future telling, only for self reflection. That sounds ok to me, and using the cards for visio divina has done really good things for my prayer life.
2/2- But still I worry- what if the more conservative types are right and all use of the cards is bad? What if it's displeasing to God? I beg and pray but I can't seem to find any peace or inner sense of guidance on the topic. Can you please pray for me, and share any wisdom you might have about this? Thank you so much.
Hello, beloved--I don't think this is weird at all! There's so much fearmongering among Christians about things being Satanic or pagan or whatever else, and it's important to not give into that panic while also taking our faith seriously.
None of the people I know who have been interested in tarot do it as a religious or really even spiritual practice--for most of them, it's been a fun thing, like getting your fortune read at a county fair, and it's not something to "believe in" so much as do and think about. I also know people who, as you said, find it useful for reflection, usually for finding new ways of looking at things. I'm not scared of tarot, and I don't think it's demonic.
Christian history is full of things like opening your Bible to a random page to see what God has in store for you or protecting yourself from evil spirits or saying a certain prayer so that a saint will do something for you. Everyone has these superstitious instincts, to find stories in chance, to not waste the few things that are in our control. I don't think there's inherent evil there--evil comes when we trust these things more than God, when we look in our own actions more than God's, when we think we can know the full story, when we try to pin God down. And I don't think superstition with Christian wrappings is any less superstitious, or any more truthful, to be honest.
A lot of people fearmongering about stuff like this are scared about where it might lead--that you'll end up somewhere chanting around a human sacrifice. And of course there are people who start with harmless religious experiences and end up in evil places--lots of Christians go to a potluck and end up believing in prosperity gospel and putting their kids in conversion therapy. But I don't hear you in danger of abandoning God or of harming anyone. And any religious practice can go too far, no matter how pure its roots. What you bring to the practice makes up most of whether you are reaching out toward God with it, and we can balance it with other traditions and other impulses.
In case someone's using the Bible to scare you: what the Bible tells us about fortune-telling/magic/communing with spirits is from a very specific Ancient Israelite perspective that I'm not qualified to unpack, but we don't find it an applicable worldview today. We have different ideas of how to live in community with other religions, and religious practices serve very different functions. We don't follow Ancient Israelite cultic practices--nor do modern Jewish people, for that matter. Christian practice has developed in the past two millennia in so many directions, and barely any of it would be recognizable to the Biblical authors. I obviously trust that God gave us these writings for a reason, and am not saying to ignore them--we can find useful ideas, but not a rule book.
The tarot deck most people know was created in 1909 by an occult secret society, who used symbols from Christianity and astrology. I think it's misguided to find truth in them as they exist, but neither do I think they're inherently evil--they're archetypes, stories. They're just human. I find occult secret societies generally more silly than demonic--although there is lots of racism/cultural appropriation in their histories. I respect those who avoid tarot based on its origins, just as I respect those who won't do yoga because it's a Hindu practice. But so many things come from non-Christian origins, and we cannot throw away the world if we want to live in community with it. (Yes, we are called to be set apart from the world as Christians, but also to love it--there is the line we must walk.)
There is real Biblical precedent for avoiding a practice associated with things outside of your faith--ancient Israelite religion was very concerned with these associations. Paul did not think meat that had originally been offered to pagan gods was sinful to eat, but basically advised people not to eat it because of how it would affect others or perhaps normalize idol worship. These are things we're continually navigating, and in any Christian community you're gonna have to be clear where your faith lies and probably answer some questions. I think it's a good thing that we're called to be purposeful, and to be aware how our actions affect others.
So my general advice would be to really think about it, to do it all purposefully, paying attention to how it affects your life, relationships, and practice, and whether it's bringing you to the life you know God wants from you (one of love). But this sounds like what you're already doing! I think you care more about this than most people I know, and you're coming to God genuinely--these are gifts.
Prayer is sensory, story-filled, interactive. It's a way of moving through the world. You say this has done good things for your prayer life, and I believe you. Contemplation is a major Christian prayer tradition. Anything can give us a new perspective, anything can shove us toward the truth. You're not causing harm, and neither are you abandoning your faith. There are other people navigating the same things as you--Contemplative Tarot is a book by a Catholic tarot practitioner, and it looks really interesting. I know people who have made their own tarot cards, and I wonder what that would look like with more intentional Christian symbolism/stories, even saints. Sometimes I pick a random prayer card to say--this is coincidence, and while it's not something I'm depending on, it does affect how my day goes.
Don't fall for anything or anyone that claims to know the ultimate truth, don't fall for the people who say that tarot has ancient Egyptian/kabbalah roots, don't fall for people who are just selling you things, don't believe anyone who tells you the truth is inside you if they aren't making clear that it's God that's living there, don't base your entire religious practice on something like this. But don't throw away a way of looking at things if God has led you through it. Don't put your life in the hands of cards, but move through your life with stories and new perspectives and contemplation. God's mercies are new every morning.
I don't know if I've given you peace--maybe just more questions. The good news is, you don't have to figure it all out now, and the bad news is you'll never figure it all out. Religious practice is a continuous dialogue and negotiation with the world. I have faith in you, and in the ways God is moving in your life. Bring Jesus with you, wherever you end up--he'll come regardless, of course, but see it happening. A man with a sword or a cup doesn't know your future, nor is he doing anything--but you know that. You're seeing more of the story, you're contemplating the wonders of God, you know the swords and cups that matter, and they are present with you, and seeing them everywhere is a gift.
Something my mother says before I start anything new, or go anywhere important--what she said when I went to the psych ward, and on the first days of school, and when I go to a protest--is "remember your baptism." I think my grandfather said it to her, too. I don't know whether you've been formally baptized, but remember your calling. Remember the beginning of your journey, and why you're still on it, and how you're being a representative of it. Remember your baptism, whatever that means to you. We have been marked with the cross of Christ forever.
<3 Johanna
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Did you like the first chapter? I'm pretty intrigued so far, though I have to say Ratau's personality was quite surprising considering how he is in the game. I have a feeling that maybe he will be the one to betray the Lamb considering that change. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Spoilers for COTL comic chapter one below! I will be tagging "cotl comic spoilers" from now on. Please block this tag if you don't want to be spoiled!
Spoilers include plot/character talk and a singular image.
Did I like the first chapter???? Did I LIKE THE FIRST CHAPTER??? I've been going through it with a fine toothed comb and loving EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!
Ahem.
So, I love this characterization of Ratau.
In the game we already saw hints that he maybe had a little bit of trouble letting go of the red crown. The fact he wears one made of paper is weird enough, but the fact he has the same paper crowns filling his house and on his shrine hints at this imo. I know game cannon ≠ comic cannon, but I had the idea Ratau may hold a little jealousy even before the comic because of this, so I was really excited to see the idea play out.
But if you look at it from his point of view, it kind of makes sense.
At least in the comic so far, it seems that Ratau is incredibly devoted to TOWW. He's offended that The Lamb is taking Narinder's mission so lightly, that they are seemingly attempting to ignore his orders in order to go on their own revenge quest.
This makes sense, because as a past vessel, Ratau is bound to know well the honor that that sort of job brings. Seemingly, he would be eager to take The Lamb's place, but knows he can not. He's managing someone doing his dream job, and they're just there for the paycheck. It's got to be infuriating!
Especially since he's seemingly older and wiser than the lamb (Though I don't think his or TOWW's use of the word "child" is literal. I think it's more in the same way The Mystic Seller calls The Lamb an infant god.) I can definitely see his frustration. I think that The Lamb is going to kind of "sober up" after Leshy's defeat and finally gain sight of the mission.
Speaking of The Lamb, I really like how they were characterized! A lot of us, including myself, were pretty sceptical of turning a silent protagonist into a fully fledged character, but in my opinion all is looking really very well so far!
I especially the love the sort of cognitive dissonance they have in the beginning. It sets them up to be this wimpy pushover. I know a lot of people may find it hard to believe that someone in those circumstances would be so calm, but as someone who's had a number of near death experiences I thought it was pretty realistic! A sort of humorous disassociation sprinkled with a confusing mix of denial and acceptance. (Though, please note it's been a few years since the last time I've nearly died. My data is a bit outdated.)
Regardless, I like how they are now. It makes a lot of sense, after all, to be a bit peeved at the circumstances. Their dialogue is super witty, though really sad if you think about it, and I have a feeling that when they stop focusing on revenge they're going to crash and feel a lot of things they've suppressed since their death.
But all in all I'm super excited to see where this little lamb goes!
Finally, can we get some Nana appreciation?? Sure she had a small role, but for a first non-game character, she made a really good first impression!
She seems fleshed out with her own little past, backstory, and personality. The traumatized sceptic in me is a bit worried she'll end up as a love interest, but I doubt it. If it does happen, I doubt it'll be in a typical way. This is a game where you're encouraged to marry with multiple people, after all. I don't think that's the case, though. I think I'm just used to old 80's comics where the first female introduced was the main love interest and nothing more 99.999% of the time.
Whatever is done with her, I'm eager for it. So far the writing seems really really good and she made a great first impression as a follower. She makes me EXCITED to see future follower interactions. If they're all written like her, then it's going to be a super enjoyable part of the comic. We love Nana here.
Finally I have some other random thoughts and things I noticed but can't really format in a way that works, so here's a bullet point list.
Apparently wool is very valuable. Now it's not said weather this is because of the lambs becoming less and less or if it was always valuable. Either way, it's and interesting little fact. I wonder if it'll be important later or if it's just trivia. I like to think things like that aren't added for no reason.
I like that they used the real term, 'Endling,' to describe the last of a soon to be extinct species. This knowledge, though, and the discussion with the cultist, implies this has happened many times before with other species. I wonder if they were always driven to extinction through genocide, or if natural factors ever play a role.
The Lamb was sold out for 30 gold coins. This is apparently a lot. It costs almost that much (converting coins to Dollars. Not perfect, I know.) to buy the ingredients for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich where I live in the US. Either there's not much inflation, or The Lamb was sold out for some PB and J.
I believe the thirty gold coins is a reference to the 30 silver coins Judas was given in exchange for selling out Jesus in Christian lore. If so, I like that detail! Very neat.
It's implied that the bishops are making life hell for EVERYONE while they drive off the lambs. This is interesting, and also a reflection of real life. Bonus points.
Does The Lamb really count as a non believer if they clearly believe in the bishops existence?? I mean they see them right there with no surprise.
Kallamar is shiny. Knew it. He also has tentacles.
It could just be the perspective, but Leshy seems taller than the other bishops.
BAAL AND AYM!
Let's all appreciate how well TOWW's chains and restraints were drawn. All those different perspectives must have been hell but it looks so good.
Chubby cheeks Narinder :)
Sharp teeth lamb! Possibly due to the crown??
So no head??
You. Me.
So no head?? x2
The lamb has guilt and second thoughts about the killing they must do to achieve their goals. Nice.
Cultist roles have hierarchy to them. Neat.
The Lamb's eyes water upon seeing light for the first time in who knows how long...sob.
Again, beautiful art.
There's lots of focus on The Lamb's fangs. Are they important or just stylistic, I wonder??
The crown seemingly has a mind of its own or is watching.
It's implied The Lamb has some sort of death powers already
So no head?? x3
CLAUNECK. MY BE FUCKING LOVED.
Needless to say I have so many THOUGHTS and can't wait for the next chapter. Happy reading, you guys!
#tober preaches#thanks for the ask! i was so hype to ramble aboit this eheheheheh#cult of the lamb#cotl comic spoilers#cotl comic
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I was called problematic, a red flag, and should stay in my corner and never evolve because I ship the Cat King and Edwin :3
You ppl that hate on the CatWin ship got some real problems 😂 like I can't help but laugh. Do you all not realize the Cat King was like Edwin's gay awakening?
Listen, I respect everyone's ships, but I do not understand the attacking when someone else has a different opinion than yours.
There are way more important things to fight over like fight against the ppl who wanna take rights away from women. Fight against the hate crimes that are constant against LGBTQA+ and People of color. Fight against the horrible things taking place in Gaza and Palestine 🇵🇸 But DON'T fight over stupid things like what relationships ppl like in a TV show....
And jokes on you because I literally ship all the main characters:
Edwin x Cat King? Top tier. Charles x Edwin? Fucking love it! Charles x Crystal? Fucking cuties. Edwin x Monty? Precious! Niko x Crystal? Yessssss. Charles x Monty? Pretty sure I was like the first person to start shipping them because my mind is unhinged but still 100% behind it
Point is I just don't get the absolute hate ppl recieve based on who they ship together ✨️
#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#the cat king#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#monty the crow#i lowkey think dbd is just a big polycule#all the ships
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I’m not saying JT would be compatible with a masochist PG at all.. but if PG had a higher pain tolerance and more morbid curiosity than the usual person, just how far could she take it before his worry turns to legitimate discomfort or even anger? And how would it manifest?
Would he distance himself and become cold? Would he be aggressive and argumentative?
JT is very upset at her because the self experimentation is going too far in his opinion. She’s becoming sneaky by ripping off her toenails or scratching/cutting her scalp so scars aren’t visible or hardly show up. PG isn’t trying to intentionally trigger or lie to Jason, she just wants to shield him, but… yknow.. year long torment, unresolved trauma and all that jazz✨PG backs down and stops this tomfoolery but only after a more firm reaction/confrontation.
Just curious of what that looks like from ur pov
This is such an interesting question, I love it!
I actually think that Jason would be surprisingly okay with PG experimenting with her powers. He lives in Gotham City, after all, and he's well accustomed to strangeness. On top of that, he also has a brutal sense of pragmatism. After all, experimenting with her powers means that PG will get better at keeping herself alive, and he's willing to put up with a lot to achieve that end goal.
But the sneaking around? The hiding things from him? Lying straight to his face about it? Oh, that would make him sick.
The way information is given on a need to know basis, as if he's not worthy of the truth, as if he's a child who'll inevitably fuck up carefully laid out plans? It's like being Robin again, in the worst way possible.
And one has to remember that the Joker lied to him, too. A lot. With every other breath, maybe--Jason is still trying, years after the man is dead, to pick apart the truth from the make-believe.
When someone he loves starts lying to him? When he relies so much on them to keep him steady on his worst days? I don't think he'll last long, after that. I think it's the lies that will stop him cold.
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