#this is just a transitional bit really. I've been writing a lot of stuff for this & other snippet wips
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(Untitled Steve POV: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4)
Steve pays extra close attention, but Eddie acts completely normal around him, afterwards. Steve had been a little worried that maybe things would be too weird, but now he’s worried that things aren’t weird enough. Something should be different, right? He’s not totally sure what or how, but it feels like something should be different.
With Nancy, Steve had felt the silver tug of a life ahead. He could see everything so clearly: dating, a proposal, a wedding with a suit and a white dress, a house with a TV room, kids, grandkids. His whole life laid out in one shining road so flat he could see all the way to the end in the distance.
With Eddie, Steve doesn’t even really know what a real date would look like, not if either of them wants any kind of future with the rest of the world. It feels like he’s been taking a multiple-choice test and turns the page and suddenly he has to write a whole essay from scratch.
The sex stuff is simple. He’s a pretty simple guy. He likes sex, and Eddie’s hot. It actually hadn’t been that big of a revelation.
It’s the other stuff that he’s tied up in knots about. He’s opened this door, practically took a crowbar to the lock, and now he doesn’t know where it leads.
But it’s fine, because all he thinks about now is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He thinks Eddie is the kind of guy who it’s easy to get obsessed with. Eddie cares about so many things, and he cares with his whole body. Every single thing he does is turned all the way up, like it’s too big to fit in his skin. Steve doesn’t think he’s cared about anything he’s ever done in his life the way Eddie cares about the stuff he does.
Steve would give a hell of a lot to be something that Eddie cares about.
“Of course he cares about you, dingus,” says Robin. “He only has like six friends who aren’t literal children, and you’re definitely in the top five. Maybe top four.”
“Wait, who do you think is his best friend?” asks Steve, because apparently he’s at a middle school sleepover, emotionally speaking; Robin pelts him with Jolly Ranchers until he stops asking.
———
Dustin’s been bugging Eddie more lately about dating and stuff. Honestly, Steve thinks things might not be going great with Suzie, but Dustin won’t talk about it no matter how many hints Steve drops. Instead, Dustin has been splitting his attention between convincing Steve to date Robin and convincing Eddie to date literally any girl who breathes in his direction.
“I think that waitress really liked you,” he’s saying, though he doesn’t sound totally convinced himself. “When she gave you the fries, there was a moment. Back me up, Steve.”
“Absolutely not, Henderson,” Steve says, stealing a fry. Eddie bats him away half-heartedly. “Stop bothering people at work. They just want to get through their day, they’re not thinking about getting a date.”
“Oh my god, you hypocrite,” yells Robin, loud enough that Eddie kind of jumps in his seat, clutching at Steve’s arm. “You constantly hit on girls at work!”
Steve gives her a look like stop fucking me over, Buckley, and she makes panicked, apologetic eyes back. “I mean, you used to. Past tense. You have hit on, uh, people, at work. In the distant, distant past. Not anymore!”
Robin is the worst wingwoman in the entire world. Steve kind of wants to slap duct-tape over her mouth until she can be normal around Eddie, who’s sporting a sly grin.
“Yeah, Harrington. I seem to recall something about you striking out a lot, lately?”
Steve’s hit on exactly one person in the last few months, and in his opinion it went pretty well. He can’t say that, though, so he just elbows Eddie, glaring. “Shut up, I’m—I’m doing fine.”
“Su-u-ure you are, big boy,” laughs Eddie.
It all works out, though, because on the way out of the diner, Eddie leans over and murmurs, “Just in case you’re not actually doing fine…I happen to have a free afternoon.”
It takes Steve a second to remember how to walk again, and he has to jog to catch up.
He obviously isn’t planning on dropping Eddie off first, but Mike says, “Hey, that’s the turn-off to Eddie’s,” loud enough that Steve can’t pretend to miss it, and he can’t think of a good excuse not to turn. Eddie doesn’t seem to be bothered at all, just hops out of the car with a jaunty little wave.
It takes way too fucking long to drop Robin and the kids off, and Steve is practically vibrating out of his skin by the time Dustin’s front door swings shut. He doesn’t go tearing back to Eddie’s immediately, though. Even if he wants to. He needs to get his shit under control first, make sure he doesn’t come off as too desperate.
Steve heads home and splashes some water on his face. He looks normal, in the mirror. Not like someone who’s planning to go over to Eddie Munson’s place for homosexual reasons. He’s not sure what that kind of person would look like, but he looks normal.
He thinks about changing his clothes, but that seems too obvious. In the end, he just fixes up his hair a little and heads back out without changing anything at all.
(Snippet directory)
#steddie#christ I have got to figure out a better organizational system for these#this is just a transitional bit really. I've been writing a lot of stuff for this & other snippet wips#yes including the hanahaki au#but unfortunately the other stuff I've been writing is all missing SOMETHING that I can't quite figure out#so! I am chewing the cud of Steve's voice and character development via this verse yet again#fic: come alive in the neon light
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hey, if you watched comic relief, did you think david looked unbearably tired? he sounded near tears at times and idt it was just bcs of the charity videos
Hi there! I'm not in the UK, so I wasn't able to see Comic Relief while it aired, or any clips until now.
I didn't notice the tiredness at first, but it definitely seemed to become more visible later in the show, as did the sounding near tears. This moment (which I got from a fan on Twitter who compiled all of David's bits) in particular really got me, as it's so apparent here...
As to what could've been causing this, I think there are several things that could have been happening, possibly even all at once. Up until I got into Good Omens/David/Michael, I wasn't at all familiar with Comic Relief, but having watched the show for a few years now, there are some really striking things I've noticed about how it's structured and what it involves.
On the one hand, you have lots of famous actors and comedians and musicians putting on a show and telling jokes...and then on the other, you have emotional videos of people in dire situations, both in the UK and abroad. And because Comic Relief is live, it's much harder to build in transitions between these two things, so you end up dramatically shifting from lighthearted to serious and back, and it leaves you with a bit of whiplash as a result.
So if those abrupt tonal shifts are difficult for us an audience, they must be even more challenging for the host(s), including David. I think the live aspect of the show makes it very similar to theater and how David might have reacted in differing moments during Macbeth, because we're seeing emotional reactions in real time, without the benefit of editing. Tonight was also the last occasion of Comic Relief that Lenny Henry was hosting after nearly 40 years at the helm, so I feel like that probably made David emotional as well, given how much he has worked with and admires him.
As for the tiredness, it seems there were at least a few interviews that David did prior to the broadcast, so he was probably running around all day trying to get everything done. Then you add to that the chaos of multiple hosts on stage and everyone trying to find their marks (which seems to have been something David was stressing out about a bit in one of the interviews today), plus the charity videos, and it's no wonder that he looked so drained.
(Another thing I also wonder is if David's demeanor had anything to do with sharing the stage with Davina McCall, who was allegedly outed as a TERF last year. Given the attacks from the anti-trans loons that David and Georgia have endured over the last several months, I can imagine that he might not be comfortable co-hosting with someone who espouses such views. And for the record, there was something about Davina that inexplicably annoyed/seemed off to me long before any of the TERF stuff came to light. It seems like my instincts have been confirmed in that regard...)
So yes, those are pretty much all of the things that came to mind regarding David's demeanor at Comic Relief. He's probably been running himself ragged lately with new projects since Macbeth ended (the Genius Game hosting gig, for one, and an appearance on the SmartTV game show, plus multiple upcoming Comic Con appearances), so hopefully he can find some time to relax and breathe in between all of this, because he more than deserves a break.
I hope this helps to answer your question. Thanks for writing in! x
#lxvenderjewel#reply post#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#comic relief 2024#red nose day#it breaks my heart to see him so wrung out#and to wonder what if anything else could be going on#but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds#i just hope David knows that he is lovely#and deserves good things#thoughts#discourse
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Right ok many things have happened in a short amount of time which is where I've been, and most of it is GOOD for once, which is wild when I'm still feeling out of it after being beaten by the Emotional Trauma bat for a few months and I think my body + brain has just kinda short-circuited.
I've been offered a booth spot for my wood carvings at a local witchy market event in April, and I've said yes! If this goes well, it will seriously help my bills and really start getting my name out beyond my normal sellers online. This is huge. I've never done an event before, and my anxiety's through the roof, but mom's agreed to help man the table so that makes me feel a bit better. This is an artsy city and there's tons of tourist traffic in Summer, so establishing myself to the point where I can get into their view would be amazing (tourism is where my teacher sells 75% of his carvings and makes a living).
Additionally, I am now in talks to do a brief, 10-20 minute class on wood this summer at another witchy event run by the same group. If there's enough interest, I might be able to run regular classes (which means more $ as a bonus). This has sort of always been one of my end goals with carving - it's a dying artform, and I LOVE teaching and showing people how easy it is to get into! This is also what my own carving teacher always told me he thought I'd wind up doing eventually: essentially taking his place and continuing to teach others like he taught me.
A couple folks in the community who are published have said they think if I wrote a guide on the various carving woods, their associations, and how to work with them, it would sell, and they're happy to help me. It wouldn't have to be long and it wouldn't be too hard, since most of it is stuff I already have written down for my own notes, but I'm also wondering if this isn't a good way to dip my toe into publishing and see how it goes, especially since I want to publish an AU of TRT one day when it's done. It's not the door into the publishing world I expected to open, but damned if I'm not inclined to take advantage.
I have no idea what to expect going forward. I'm still having some issues after what I went through, but damn, even I can feel this this is a potential path ahead that might do a lot for me.
Anyway, I've got some stuff I've started writing, the promised little one shots, that I'll do before slowly transitioning back into TRT. Ironically, I've used the time to go back over my outline and streamline a few arcs, and had some epiphanies that I think will improve the plot even further. So that was nice, and I think when TRT starts back up, you're going to love what's coming!
Lastly, to the person who dropped that cash into my ko-fi: thank you. You have no idea how much that's helped.
#pasta life update#i am like#i am fuzzy right now because holy shit#i feel like it's taking off VERY quickly and i have no idea how to handle it but#it feels good at least
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hi!! fanfic writing person here again :D
i've been looking at a ton of stuff and first like. damn i didn't expect me headcanoning a character as transfem to lead me down a rabbit hole where i now 1. have loads of random knowledge on transfem issues and 2. have a massive amount of respect for transfem people and understanding of the differences in experience of different trans people. wonderful actually. your stuff has been super helpful tysm
actual question! how do i go about using femininity as a marker of transition without falling into gender roles? do you think that's disrespectful? because like. wearing makeup, 'feminine' clothes, that kind of thing-- functionally no bearing on someone's womanhood. but those are, to my understanding, big hallmarks of transfem experiences. i don't want to say that wearing makeup or a dress makes her suddenly feel wonderful and pretty and solves all her woes, but i also don't want to downplay the significance of that experience. ideally, how do you think those should be balanced? basically how do i make her feminine without it seeming like a certain level of femininity is required to be trans.
generally, are there any experiences you think would be helpful to know? i'm writing a lot about her (currently two fics on different effects of HRT as an adult, and two on her gender being affirmed as a teen when she had taken basically no steps in her transition) so any insight is helpful. ideally what would you want portrayed in a non-transfem author writing a trans girl? idk!
i understand that these are very big asks so once again don't feel pressured to reply-- thank you regardless! generally looking at your content as a trans woman has been super helpful so thank you so much for sharing <3 best wishes!
"how do i go about using femininity as a marker of transition without falling into gender roles?"
you cant! but why do you need to? a core part of the trans experience is experimenting with gender, stereotypical or not. so many trans fems (including myself) start off by leaning very hard into stereotypical femininity because they are things that many of us have not previously explored. and then a core part of that journey is learning that there is no right way to explore gender. i spent years leaning into being femme until i realized i was more comfortable with a little bit of fluidity and androgyny. i think the most authentic experience would be to have her explore femininity, stereotypical or not, and then eventually coming to terms with how she is a woman outside of stereotypical femininity.
two experiences that i think might be a good way to introduce this concept is one, the gender affirming experience of being included as one of the girls. there's a lot of nuance to that experience that people dont necessarily consider. there is the self doubt of, oh am i really one of the girls or are they just humoring me? and also for some there is the need to feel like they need to confirm to expectations of femininity, and leaning too hard into it.
second, the experience of experiencing misogny for the first time. i specifically say misogny because a lot of trans women have face homophobia and transphobia before they experience misogyny that validates them as a woman and for many people there can be this sudden awareness of how different the world is when you move through it as a woman. there is your typical run of the mill, this guy is a dick misogny but then there is also that experience of facing internalized misogny from other women. the experience of being told by cis women how to engage with femininity because a lot of cis women haven't deconstructed that for themselves is an experience that can be particularly hurtful because it is infantilization and misogny that is also incredibly invalidating.
third, when youre talking about gender affirming experiences from pre-transition, there's a lot of nuance to those experience because while they are gender affirming, there is confliction too. for some theres the question of why do i like this? and you also have to consider that many times those experiences that happen to a person who sees themselves as a boy. there is a level of separation from the experience because they havent necessarily embraced transness yet, and if they have, theres tentativeness because being in your teens is all about forming identity.
if you can capture these experiences in your writing, then fantastic! but also these are hard to capture because often times it takes lived experience to write it with nuance.
love these questions and happy to answer! good luck with your writing!
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chapter 149 thoughts
Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 6
anybody else here unironically love getting yuribaited or just me
Honestly I kind of don't know what to think about this chapter lol. As it stands I didn't really hate it - in a lot of ways, it feels like a return to the humour and emotional focus of early OnK which is something I've honestly been missing in the manga while revisiting the anime. Mengo's art toys chapter was great and getting some proper Akane focus was nice. On the other hand, transitioning into this style of writing with no cushioning after the last arc is so incredibly jarring and the Akane stuff we get here is… well, we'll put a pin in it for now and address it later.
In general "put a pin in it" feels like the right energy for this chapter. As the second chapter of a new arc it's primarily setup for the stuff we're going to be dealing with for the next however long, I think it's going to be something we can really only chew on when we have a more solid idea of what exactly it's setting up, long or short term.
Anyway…! We start off with an explanation of why Kana seemed to flip so suddenly last chapter which does patch up some of that logic a bit. I think it's a little silly that she didn't actually overhear the conversation and thus clue into the actual goings on with how close she was standing but that's basically romance misunderstandings 101 so…
Her leaping to assumptions and giving up so quick also feels a bit abrupt but tbh Kana has always been deeply insecure and quick to leap to it's so over when it comes to her feelings for Aqua. Not only that but as others have pointed out since last chapter, from Kana's outsider perspective, Aqua was at his happiest and most at peace while dating Akane and has been in a mental health spiral to the point of expressing suicidal ideation since they broke up. Obviously we, the readers, know the extenuating circumstances at place but from Kana's POV it makes perfect sense to conclude that Akane makes him happiest and is uniquely equipped to do so. It just feels clunky in execution.
On the subject of clunky… I won't lie, it really bugs me that the first really significant AKKN interaction we're getting is love triangle shit entirely centered on Aqua. One of my biggest complaints about the series post TB was the way the end of that arc set up a huge status quo change to Akane and Kana's rivalry and then kind of failed to expand on it at all and that continued to be true all the way up to the Movie Arc. I'd hoped that them both working in close proximity as actresses on the same project would give us opportunities to dig into that. We got some lip service in that regard and then swerved hard into suddenly hyperfocusing on Kana's insecurities regarding Ruby while Akane got all of zero meaningful focus during the back half of the Movie Arc even though she was one of the characters with the most potential to bring interesting things to the table.
Honestly, one of my biggest fears with Akane's declaration that she'd stop Aqua's plan was that even though the two of broken up, she would continue to orbit Aqua at the expense of being allowed an arc of her own that focused on her relationships with the wider cast. Like - even if what she says about not being romantically interested in Aqua anymore is true, she is nevertheless entirely revolving around him to a really frustrating degree. It really feels like Akasaka realized Akane would have solved everything going on in the Movie Arc and had to panic and offscreen her as a result lol.
tho akane dismissively talking about the idea of clinging onto a past lover did make me do a very mean chuckle. ouch, better hope ruby didn't overhear that one, girl!
That said, for all my complaints, I didn't hate their little talk. Yes, it contained an absolute mountain of transparent-to-the-point-of-cynical KanaKane shipbait but it was pretty gay so who's to say if it's really good or bad or not. It's also just nice to see Kana and Akane being able to have a talk that isn't entirely hostile even if I really wish it was under different circumstances, or even that we'd just seen the road they took to being able to be so civil with each other. But whatever - we're here now, I'll take what I get.
Circling back around a bit, I am intrigued by the idea of Akane framing herself as having 'moved on' from Aqua when she very clearly hasn't lol. Like I indicated up there, I don't quite think this is the case nor do I think we're supposed to uncritically accept this as being the case - it reads moreso to me that Akane is trying to convince not just Kana but also herself that she's moved on from Aqua so Kana doesn't feel like she's in Akane's way if she tries to shoot her shot. As for why… well, that's something to talk about at the end of the chapter but I do think it's interesting either way. Akane wildly overshooting in her scrabble to convince Kana it's totally just platonic and going for sonzoning Aqua was also about the most insane thing she's said in a while but her utterly panicked and deranged expression as she said it made me bust a gut laughing.
In general, the expression work this chapter was on fire and there was a ton of really funny and really cute moments - Akane's blushy pout after Kana's quasi-confession, the fish-eye lens effect on her when Kana sees her outside her door and especially her and Kana's expressions in the second to last page… jesus i lost it so bad.
I've been gushing about Mengo's panelling and expressions for the last ten or so chapters but she really is amping it up lately. It definitely feels like her art for OnK has been getting really refined during the last few volumes and while this chapter was a little whiplash-y coming off the end of the Movie Arc, I also think it's a really impressive display of Mengo's range, too. Her horror and drama chops were on full display while all that was going on but in a more lowkey chapter like this, she brings a lot of life and charm to even simple things like the little montage of everyone wrapping up their day of the beach - it's three silent, tiny panels at the bottom of the page but she crams a ton of detail and character into each one.
I also am Extremely Shrimpterested in the note this chapter ends on. Something OnK does occasionally is use genre trappings as a smokescreen for what is actually happening on page and Akane's words at the end here seem to indicate this is happening here, too. This entire chapter goes extremely hard on the romcom tropes and dynamics but the way Akane's energy totally changes once she's on her own makes me think this is intentional and a reflection of the way Akane is setting up to use Kana.
Because I do think it's undoubtable that she is setting up to use Kana. Her sudden leap to captain of the SS AquKana is not about wholeheartedly supporting two people she loves (at least not primarily) and more about her continued efforts to save Aqua from himself. Kana just happens to be a convenient pawn in making this happen.
If I'm making this sound very cynical and cold of Akane: it is! But that's why I think it's so interesting. Akane is very like Aqua in a lot of ways and seeing this tendency of his to perform cruelty and manipulation to the greater end of doing the most good (or at least in their eyes) mirrored in her is very juicy and potentially very deadly in the hands of someone as smart and perceptive as Akane.
It's also kind of telling and kind of really sad to see Akane asserting that Aqua wouldn't be able to take revenge if he had a girlfriend at his side when that certainly didn't stop him back when he and Akane were dating. It's subtle but it's consistent with just how little faith Akane seems to have ever had in Aqua's feelings for her. Kana's not the only one struggling with long term insecurities in that regard.
I also can't not address the elephant in the room that is the story setting this up while the resolution to whatever the hell is going on with Ruby is still dangling over everyone's heads. I mentioned this last chapter but it really is getting to be bizarre just how much of a nothingburger that has been turned into, not just in terms of the characters' lack of reaction to it but the way the narrative has just entirely failed to give it any weight or significance whatsoever. I can only assume that one of the other girls making a move to pursue Aqua (if it does end up happening) will kick Ruby into action and we'll get god knows what sort of resolution there but a dark and evil part of me that loves to start shit thinks that the funniest possible resolution would be for it to never come up or be referenced ever again just for the sheer frenzy of confusion and bafflement it would cause. everybody loses!!!
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Cursedvibes, what are your favorite Kenjin fanfics/art/comics or just what is your favorite JJK fanfics/art in general
I don't actually read that much jjk fanfiction and most of what I read isn't JinKen, but I still have a few faves I'd like to recommend.
theft of witness by iamsomebody
One of the first jjk & Kenjaku fics I ever read and I absolutely loved it. It follows Kenjaku through their transition from Kaori to Geto and gives brief glimpses into their experiences. Partially inspired me to write my own stuff. I absolutely love the writing style and the confrontation scene between Kaorijaku and Wasuke is my favourite. Might be responsible for why I like their dynamic so much. Also, you should check out the art that's linked in the fic notes, it's one of my favourite.
死的静观 by Innersol
Jin/Kamojaku, background Jin/Toji (don't ship it, but it also didn't bother me much), sort of a Gothic Modern AU
It's in Chinese, but I think with a translator you can still follow very well what's happening and not too much of the prose is lost. Jin is a medical student in his 20s aiming for doctor and Kenjaku (Kamo Noritoshi) is financing his studies, eventually inviting him to live at their house to collaborate at times with their research. It's not specified what exactly Noritoshi does, but you find out that some Death Painting-esque experiment is going on in the background. Since this is a ship fic, Jin and Kenjaku eventually go from studying to fucking. It's not too heavy on the feelings, but Jin does get attached and curious about Kenjaku and over time the same happens to Kenjaku, with them developing a strong wish to have a child with Jin, eventhough that's physically impossible for them in this AU. There's also some brainfuckery going on at some point, Jin just can't keep his fingers to himself. Really love this one for the creepy vibe and because I'm just happy to see more of Kamojaku.
Innersol is also a great artist with some exceptional jjk fanart. You can find them here @karama08 and on Twitter
Complicity by SenZen_Travers
My favourite MahiKen fic. Characterization is on point, the atmosphere is calm but also so intense at the same time. I always get a bit dizzy when reading it. The smut is really juicy too and feels natural (I'm always a bit bothered when Kenjaku is shown as overly dominant, and Mahito as this dainty submissive bottom. That's not the case here, they're just having a fun time together)
King's Ascent by Anonymous (registered users only)
A SukUme fic with ace Uraume. It takes place during the Nara period and details Sukuna and Uraume's first meeting and how they grew to be partners. The world building here is really good with lots of details to flesh out the setting as well as the characters. Really well written too and the best SukUme fic I've read so far. It has 5 chapters so far, I'm really hoping the author will continue it at some point.
light of a new morning by flyfreebird (@urostakako on tumblr)
A Tsumiki Lives AU, mainly revolving around Tsumiki and Yuuji bonding over their past trauma and relationship with Megumi. It's so well written, I want to insert it directly into my brain. Tsumiki's struggle of loving her brother, but also being angry at him for how ignorant he has been of her and her emotions all her life is so well depicted here, makes me wish it were canon. This is the Tsumiki I wanted to see. It feels so satisfying to read this after the disappointment I felt over how her character was handled in canon.
Kissing Strangers by magrealism_conspirology
Jin/Kenjaku, fanart not fanfic but since it was posted on AO3 I thought it would make for a good transition to other artists
Always love it when Jin interacts with Kenjaku's brain and the pose here makes it look especially good. Very tender, as if he's just giving them a kiss on the cheek (but juicier).
For fanart recommendation, I'm gonna shout out
@trung-roi
Currently creating a lot of TenKen art that makes me go absolutely insane. Can also recommend him for Mahito and Sukuna/Uraume fans. His art always manages to make even gore look beautiful and enthralling. I particularly like this Pixiv album. It has a lot of my faves. Kenjaku and Tengen playing Mario, Kenjaku swallowing Tengen, them holding hands, Edo era meeting, Tengen holding Kenjaku's brain (I particularly like this surreal style here) and a Barbie meme.
Twitter
Pixiv
Warlock1000 or 1000YEAH
Already love this artist for drawing all incarnations of Kenny. I rarely see this much EdoKen and Kamojaku in one place. They also really nail Kenjaku's personality, from the grotesque to silly. Just can't emphasize enough how amazing their art is. You should really check them out. Also have a lot on Sukuna and Uraume.
Lofter
weibo
(My two strongest arguments for why you should go check them out right now. I also wanted to give you a glimpse of their art here because I know weibo links in particular can sometimes be difficult to open from overseas or on the phone and I want to encourage you try to seek them out regardless)
reynis var emrace
I recently recommended her Kaorijaku (& Geto) art, so here is my call again to give her some more attention. She does a lot of stsg stuff too. What drew me to her was intense gory art. And I mean real gore, guts hanging out and everything. Every time I look at her art, I feel like I can actually smell the blood. Especially for a character like Kenjaku that is very fitting. Not gonna lie, the art where Kenjaku is licking Gojo's ripped out eyeball inspired me quite a lot. I like this one a lot as well.
Most of her older stuff you can find on vk
planetsandmagic
I think if you're looking around the fandom here, you will have inevitably come across them, but I still wanted to highlight them. They draw pretty much anything jjk and every piece looks fantastic. Their art often has this melancholic, dark and eery vibe I really like. Recently I fell absolutely in love with their TenKen art (predictable as I am).
Twitter
There are like a dozen more I can think of , plus individual art pieces, but I'm trying to contain it to a manageable list
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03/12/2023
Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!
Summary
Finished editing Chapter 5 (WSC)
Decided an additional chapter was needed to fix pacing/plot stuff.
Received some new BG art (WSC)
Worked on the GS lore book including adding profiles and short stories
Ramble
Okay so in my last update I was in the middle of editing chapter 5 and was nearly to the start of chapter six in editing Asher's route. I finished up chapter 5...
At that point when I was looking ahead, I started feeling like I wanted to add in a transition scene to move between Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.
As I started plotting out this scene, one of my ideas took on a life of its own and I realised that it might be better to interject a new, fleshed out story incident that would allow me to slow the pacing as well as flesh out the setting and universe a little more. This incident would also let me tie into some earlier events and connect them to something that occurs in chapter 6, also foreshadowing the chapter 6 incident.
Ultimately, this became too much to call a "scene" and I decided to branch it off into a supplementary chapter (IE a chapter a bit shorter than the others and meant to be released along with another chapter.
That is what I've been working on since the last update.
This chapter has now served to set up multiple important things.
And is currently 17000 words long (it's going to end up closer to 25k by the end I think. There is a pretty significant story branch that happens at this point based on a specific player choice (That is or is not available based on other factors). If the choice is available and if the player makes that choice, it leads to an entirely different flow of events for a substantial portion of the chapter. That's what I'm currently working on writing.
I have it plotted out in a very detailed way and just have to write it.
Chapters with heavy branching are always a bit of a doozy to write and the WSC chapters are pretty long in general (the longest chapter is 62,000 words right now). So yeah.
Adding new content is still a part of editing I suppose. At least sometimes. I was so excited to cut 4000 words of content in chapter 5.
Then I added 17000+ more. So.....
That sounds accurate for me. 😱
I've been having a lot of health struggles the last couple of weeks mostly related to chronic fatigue and pain. That, in addition to some really irritating "real life" stuff. But things are still moving forward.
Current word count is 440,000 words.
Regarding the GS lore book - I've been adding character profiles to a "people" section and have also been working on some of the short stories/drabbles. It's close to 300 pages at this point. 💪
Other Stuff:
As usual, I have received a completed BG and sketch, acquiring the game environments at a steady pace.
Upcoming Weeks:
This is getting into a busy time of year so I have a lot of real life distractions even apart from HEALTH. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 Progress always slows a little for me during this period since we have a lot going on.
But here is the plan.
Try to finish adding the profiles to the lore book. (Noooot sure I will. There are still a lot to go and the formatting for them is tricky. And I'm alternating between adding profiles and finishing writing a few side stories I've had ideas for for a while)
Try to finish chapter 5.5 for WSC
That's all for this week. There should be on more update here before the end of the year. See you then! 💪💪
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hey!! i saw that ur writing reqs were open and i was wondering if u could write (platonic) hcs of the main 4 finding out their friend, reader, is trans ftm?
++reader transitioned before meeting the main 4 and is afraid of revealing it to them, worried that their relationship as friends might change somehow or they might not even see him as a guy anymore
take your time!! i love ur writing btw !!!!!!
sp main 4 finding out reader is trans ftm
A/N: thank you so much!!! i can do a mtf or nb vers for anyone who wants it :) i'm sorry if anything is offensive or anything!!!
TRIGGER WARNING: some transphobia on cartmans part (i know this sounds bad but jsut read it😭) and probably some talk about dingalings and hoohas (very briefly)
stan marsh
he's curious about it!! like he'll ask a bunch of questions about how you found out and what it means and stuff
he honestly probably doesn't know a lot about it before u explain it to him. like he knows people are transgender but he never learned about gender dysphoria or why people transition
he might ask a few,, personal questions. he genuinely doesn't mean to be rude or weird he's just curious !! will stop and apologize if you are uncomfortable
"seriously, you don't look like you were born a girl. i never would've been able to tell."
it might make him question his own gender??? like he might talk to you about it sometimes and he explains it as 'not really feeling like either a boy or a girl'
other than that he doesn't really care, like he doesn't treat you any differently. honestly he probably forgets it if anything😭😭 like in the T.M.I. episode he asks why you aren't lining up to get ur wiener measured and then he's like oh yeah oops i forgot💀
kyle broflovski
"oh. really? like, actually? huh."
he's honestly just confused as you've never said anything about it before. he might ask why you didn't tell him but when you explain he understands and tells you he wouldn't view you differently no matter what
"i mean, i think it's stupid that some people deliberately go out of their way to misgender people. like, you've been a boy and i've always seen you as a boy, so why would i purposefully make you feel bad? that's just stupid!"
he appreciates if you teach him a bit more about it, 'cause he doesn't know a whole lot
i feel like he'd purposefully do more,, boyish things with you???? like he invites you to play football or play video games more or like idk. do boy things.
he doesn't do it to single you out, he just really wants to make sure you feel like you fit in with the rest of the guys, so he's always inviting you to meetings with the dudes and treating you like a brother
eric cartman
i feel like there are a lot of different ways this could go, but mainly i feel like he's never actually going to view you as a girl?? if that makes sense
like he'll make fun of you and probably tease you (similar the whole sand in kyles vagina thing and calling him ms. broflovski and shit yk??) but no matter how much he tries to crack transphobic jokes he still sees you as a guy
he honestly might be a little uncomfortable at first because he feels like you're 'a spy for the girls'. but he quickly gets a stern talking-to from kyle and at least doesn't voice that opinion anymore
either way as much as he hates it he still sees you as a dude, if anything it just makes him uncomfortable to think about ur (or anyones) sex so he just goes with the flow. literally dress up as anything and he'll treat you like it. he doesn't want to put that much effort into caring
so yeah he makes fun of you and misgenders you but not in a genuine way. he can try but he still views u as one of the guys so he just accepts it and moves on. again he doesn't care enough to dwell on it
kenny mccormick
he might ask a few questions like stan but he genuinely on god fr doesn't care. it literally does not affect his view on you at all
he doesn't necessarily fully understand what being trans means but he doesn't really need to to understand that u are what u are. like if ur happy being a dude then be a dude he doesn't get what's so hard to grasp for some people
kenny isn't really one for labels. he also hasn't really explored his gender and stuff and honestly?? he doesn't plan on it. it just doesn't matter to him, he's fine with just living his life (when he's actually alive and living it)
even if he does have a few erm personal questions he keeps them to himself. he knows it could be a touchy subject and he really just thinks that whatever you were born as isn't any of his business
he will defend u whenever you face harassment from certain people, like he honestly just tells them that it's not their business and to fuck off. he mostly jumps in because he knows it probably hurts to hear stuff like that and tries to tell you that it doesn't matter what other people think, all that matters is that ur happy in your skin :)
#south park#sp x reader#south park x reader#platonic sp x reader#south park x platonic reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#sp headcanons#sp fandom#pineappleciders
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The Spider and The Witch Chapter 3: The Athletic Supporter and the Frozen Peas
Summary: Y/N arrives at the Avengers compound where he begins his winter break internship. Along the way, he learns being a superhero is a lot more difficult than Peter made it out to be.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Male Reader
Warnings: Mild language
Word Count: 2.7K
A/N: Hey y'all! Apologies for the inconsistent posting schedule. I've come to a bit of a roadblock writing Chapter 5 and I have no idea where I'm going with this. Any thoughts or suggestions please send them my way!
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
The last day of the semester brought mixed emotions. There was a wash of relief having finished all your finals papers, projects, and exams, but apprehension loomed overhead with your upcoming Stark Internship. That’s the story you told your parents when you explained you wouldn’t be able to come home for the holidays: it was a Stark Internship upstate at the Avengers Campus. There was no way you’d tell them any more than they absolutely needed to know, bless your mother’s heart if she ever found out you were slinging webs.
Peter worked tirelessly to catch you up to speed, filling you in on everything he thought you needed to know. Most of it was small stuff that wasn’t all too important in the grand scheme of things: don’t eat Bucky’s almond butter, never hand Tony anything, Pietro is always down for Mario Kart, and if you ever see Natasha curled on the couch with a plush orca whale, no you didn’t.
******
“Okay, do you have everything you need?” May asked as she loaded your suitcase in the car. “Toothbrush, retainer, deodorant, athletic suppo-?”
“Yes, May. I’ve got everything I need,” you interrupted loudly.
“Alright, let’s get a move on!” She slammed the trunk closed. “We’re on a tight schedule and we do not want you to be late on your first day.”
You buckled yourself into the passenger seat of May’s car. She was the only other adult besides Tony who knew what was really going on. Naturally she offered to take you upstate once the semester ended. It lessened the risk of your parents finding out the real purpose of your internship. Peter was on vacation in the UK with Ned otherwise he would’ve joined you on the trip upstate. You knew he missed the rest of the team and would love to see them again.
The trip upstate was pretty quiet once you got out of the city. May turned the radio on and you stared out the window most of the trip, your head resting on the seatbelt as the landscape slowly transitioned from urban to rural. The Hudson River on your left, a sense of calm washed over you as the world became quiet once more.
“So,” May started as she turned the radio down. “Peter told me you aren’t really sure if you want to do this.” You shrugged in response. “It’s a lot. He was in high school when he started messing around with this whole superhero thing. He tried to balance homework and friends and saving the neighborhood and for a while he couldn’t keep up with all of it.”
“Peter loved being an Avenger, but I don’t want to be a superhero, May. I just want to be a normal guy doing normal college guy things. Honestly I only took this to get him off my back.”
May sighed, readjusting her grip on the steering wheel. “You have to understand that the past few years haven’t been easy for Peter. He misses it a lot. Maybe watching you become Spider-Man is the next best thing for him. I don’t know. I do think he’s got a point in wanting you to have better control of your powers so you don’t accidentally stick yourself to my ceiling again.”
“Sorry about that,” you mumbled.
“Give it a chance, Y/N. You owe it to yourself to at least try. Worst comes to worst it doesn’t work out and you come back to college and move on with your life. But who knows. This could open up a whole new world for you.”
“Thanks, May.”
******
As you pulled into the Avengers Compound, you noticed Tony standing out by the circle. He stood nonchalant, sunglasses on and hands in his pockets as he watched your car pull around and park by the main entrance. He smirked as he sauntered towards you.
“May! Looking lovely like always,” Tony called as May got out of the car and headed to the trunk.
“Hi Tony! Good to see you again.” She hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Peter sends his regards. He’s over in London vacationing with Ned.”
“He should’ve said something. I would’ve set the two of them up in my penthouse had I known. Good for him, though. He needs to live a little. Oh, allow me.” He lunged forward and grabbed your rather large suitcase out of the trunk. “Mr. L/N, glad to have you here.”
“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” you replied as he shook your hand rather aggressively. While you had already met him once, Tony Stark was still an intimidating figure.
“You’ll take Peter’s old room while you’re here. Don’t worry, I’ve already told Vision to mind the phasing.” He handed you back your suitcase as you slung your backpack over your shoulders. “Most everyone has gone home for the holidays, so it’ll be quiet around here until the new year. But don’t worry, we’ll still keep you busy.” You smiled weakly, thinking about the unknown future that lay ahead of you.
“Well, just call if you need anything,” May yelled as she rolled the passenger side window. “I’ll see you in a few weeks!”
“Thanks May!” you shouted as the car pulled around the drive. She honked twice in return.
******
Over the course of the next couple of weeks, you settled into a routine with those who remained over the holiday season. Monday through Friday you woke up at 6 to lift weights with Bucky. After weight training, Natasha took you over to the mats for sparring practice. In terms of strength you definitely had the upper hand. That didn’t phase Natasha, who was undoubtedly the better combatant. You’d never sparred a day in your life and she didn’t go easy on you. More often than not you ended up flat on your back.
“I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to be good at this,” you complained as she helped you up after a particularly nasty hit.
“Y/N, you’ve only been at this for two weeks. Give yourself a break.”
“Nat, I can’t even dodge a punch properly and I’ve got this weird Spidey sense thing.” She hemmed and hawed as she looked at you. It was true: you were totally uncoordinated when it came to fighting. You were clumsy enough in your everyday life that it probably seeped into other areas of your life, too.
“Focus and patience. That’s all this is. Focus, patience, and practice.” Natasha pushed a sweaty strand of hair off her face. The two of you had been at it for the better part of two hours and were equally exhausted. Your ineptitude wasn’t a reflection of her abilities as an instructor, but you could sense her disappointment in your lack of progress.
Weapons training wasn’t that much better. Your first foray into that world came from Rocket the Racoon. The Guardians dropped by shortly after Christmas for a meeting with Tony and upon learning of your arrival, Rocket took it upon himself to teach you everything he could about weapons in an hour and a half. To say it was overwhelming was an understatement. Rocket rattled off names, specs, calibers, warnings, makers, anything and anything he could think of involving weapons so fast your head spun. Nothing you heard made any sense. It wasn’t until Rhodey took over that he broke things down into manageable snippets of information. Still, you felt like a fish out of water.
******
The first time you walked into the gym, an oversized room situated with mock building tops, scaffolding, lampposts, and mats, AC/DC thundered over the PA system while Tony messed around with a couple of foam blocks. You nervously walked in, bottle of Gatorade in one hand and grippy socks in the other.
“Hey! Underoos Two!” Tony’s face lit up as he looked up from the screen. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” you answered, dropping your drink to the floor close to the exit.
“Don’t sound so enthusiastic there, kiddo,” Tony smirked. You plopped down, untying your shoes and pulling your socks off. “Woah, hang on. Got something for you.” You grunted as a ball of spandex hit you clear in the face. “Put that on!” As you removed it from your face, you looked at the red and blue bundle in your hands. Black strands that resembled webbing traced up and down the fabric, and a large nanotechnic spider adorned the middle of the suit. Little suckers peppered the hands and feet of the suit. A mask with wide white eyes fell out of the bundle and landed face up on the floor next to you. As the eyes stared back up at you, you couldn’t help but feel that it was Peter watching your every move.
“The design is the exact same as Peter used to wear. I’ve tweaked it a bit. There’s a gap in the wrist so you can shoot those, what, are those actual webs you shoot?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never actually analyzed its molecular structure,” you shrugged.
“Alright, so there’s a gap for you to shoot those web-like thingies from. That’s new. Plus, you know, some general upkeep, maintenance, and, of course, a complete OS update for the training wheels program complete with your very own Karen. She’ll be your guardian angel.”
“Hello Y/N, my name is Karen.” The robotic female voice greeted you as you pulled the mask over your head for the first time.
“Uhh, hi?”
“Mr. Stark has authorized you to begin the training wheels program in accordance with the commencement of your training as Spider-Man. Would you like me to go through a complete tutorial of your suit?”
“Maybe later, thanks.” You pulled the mask off, your Y/H/C flopping in your face as it poofed free of the constraint.
“So,” Tony quipped from the corner, programming the last of his drones with the anticipated training schematic. “Let’s get started.”
******
To say your first foray into Spider-Man-ing was a disaster was an understatement. It was the first time you’d ever tried swinging. The mechanics of it were awkward. Swinging was meant to be fluid, one smooth web shooting from your wrist at just the right moment as you propelled yourself forward with the one you just shot. Peter made it look easy. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
“You alright?” Tony asked as you face planted into the wall for the umpteenth time.
Groaning, you peeled your sticky body off of it and landed on the floor with a thump. A dull ache thrummed throughout your entire body. Peter hadn’t warned you about this part. The sudden jolts and abrupt stops sent shocks of pain zapping through every painful web swing. While the impact alone was enough to kill a normal human being, your mutated body could somehow withstand the worst of it. Still, it hurt like a son of a bitch. You sensed a cold shower and multiple bags of frozen peas were in your future plans.
“Why don’t we call it a night? Go get cleaned up, we’ll go again tomorrow if you’re up for it.” Tony switched off the lights, leaving you lying in the dark as he sauntered out of the gym, whistling all the while.
“I’m detecting multiple contusions,” observed Karen.
“Yeah, no shit.”
******
You winced as you opened the freezer, piling as many bags of frozen veggies as you could find into your bruised arms. You planned on throwing them on every aching inch of flesh you could find and resigning yourself to your bedroom for the rest of the evening. Dinner? That was out of the question. Maybe some Tylenol if you could find it. Otherwise, you just didn’t have the energy to do anything.
As you turned the corner, a bounding figure crashed into your already sore body. Frozen asparagus and corn flew all over the hallway as the bags flew out of your arms.
“Oh geez, I’m sorry,” a soft voice apologized. The figure knelt down in the dimly lit hallway, reaching for the scattered bags.
“No, sorry that was me,” you apologized in return. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”�� You reached for a bag of peas, your hand lightly brushing over hers. It recoiled quickly at your sudden touch, leaving you with the phantom feeling of her soft skin under yours. “Oh, Wanda, hi.”
Bright green eyes stared back at you from the shadows. You hadn’t spent much time with the witch or her brother in your two weeks at the Compound. She was quiet, keeping mostly to herself outside of business unless she was with her twin, Pietro, or Natasha every so often. Peter hadn’t talked about her much. The most you ever got was an exaggerated tale about the Scarlet Witch controlling corpses to fight off a barrage of HYDRA agents. Staring back into those bright orbs made you wonder whether or not he was actually telling you the truth.
“Y/N, right?” She raised an eyebrow questioningly as you nodded in response. “Nat’s told me about you. Says you’re a terrible fighter,” Wanda chuckled.
“She’s not wrong,” you groaned as you pushed yourself off the floor.
“That’s the nice part about magic. You don’t have to worry about getting punched.”
“Next time I get my DNA re-written, I’ll be sure to ask for magic powers instead of webs,” you joked.
“How long are you staying?” she asked, offering you a bag of corn.
“Just for another few weeks. I’ll head back to the city before the start of the semester.”
“That’s how you know Peter, right? You both go to the same college.”
“Yeah, Empire State.”
“What are you studying?”
“Biochemistry. I’d like to go to med school after I’m done.”
“Oh wow,” Wanda’s eyes widened in awe. “I’m always jealous of people in college. I didn’t spend a lot of time in school when I was younger. I wanted to. I loved school when I was a kid. I just never had time for it after my…” Her voice was tinged with sadness as she trailed off. “You’re very lucky.” Suddenly you felt a rush of shame for complaining about your packed schedule next semester.
“Well, you know, it’s never too late to go. I just wonder what the Scarlet Witch would major in,” you teased. The throbbing in your knee was too painful to ignore by now, begging you to go back to your room and sit down. But there you stayed, talking to Wanda Maximoff in the dulled illumination of the hallway. This was the first conversation you’d ever had with her. She was incredibly entrancing, her deep emerald eyes luring you in the longer you stayed and talked to her.
Wanda shook her head, eyes drifting to the tiled floor as she pondered your question for a moment. “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’ve never really thought about it before.”
“I’m sure you’d be good at whatever you wanted to do,” you offered.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to the magic for now,” Wanda smirked. She wiggled her fingers, a flicker of red illuminating them as magic danced around her hand. “I’m pretty good at this.”
“Fun as it is to watch you do that, I’m literally about to pass out.” The magic faded just as quickly as it appeared.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she countered, walking past you and into the kitchen.
“Hey!” She turned. “That story about the bodies and HYDRA…is that true?”
“Peter tell you that?”
“Yeah,” you admitted sheepishly.
Wanda opened her mouth as if to say something, closing it and tilting her head to look at you. Even in the dim light you swore her eyes glowed the faintest hint of red. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear, Y/N. But then again…” A devilish gleam spread over her otherwise angelic face.
“I’ll remember to put a line of salt outside the door before I go to bed then.”
“What?”
“You know, to keep the-you know what? Never mind, I’ll see you later.” You turned on your heels as fast as you could manage, which wasn’t very given the state of your battered body. With the thought of the Scarlet Witch puppeteering a corpse into your room fresh in your mind, you made sure to lock the door before collapsing into a deep sleep.
#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#wanda maximoff fic#scarlet witch fic#wanda maximoff x male reader#wanda x male reader#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x y/n#scarlet witch x male reader#scarlet witch x reader#scarlet witch x y/n#spiderman#spiderman fic#spiderman reader#spiderman male reader#wanda maximoff x spiderman reader#wanda maximoff x spiderman male reader#scarlet witch x spiderman reader#scarlet witch x spiderman male reader#self reader insert#male reader#male reader insert#marvel#mcu#marvel fanfiction#therealdisneyfan2319
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Gloomy little observations about synastry, Saturn return, the 12H...
Looking at my synastry with my family and friends and realizing how we are not built to understand one another. It's actually wild to see how much we all tend to orient our lives around our Moons and Saturns. (Unless much therapy has been had.) In the end we all act like Cancer.
8H and 12H placements... in a birth chart and also in synastry. I am intimately aware of their unpopularity when trying to have relationships with others. Feels like I am subservient to their needs (12H), and my usefulness to them is contingent on their needs (8H). (For 8H, it kind of feels like people need to be ready for me in order to receive me. I can't just offer my perspective or share something anout myself, I need to wait to be asked. Otherwise, people don't see me, and/or even react to me with anger.)
Kind of feels like I really can only feel like myself and fully breathe when I'm alone. The phrasing of this is interesting because my Moon sign, Libra, is underrepresented in my circle. So I actually feel like my life lacks air, and I can only have air, feed my Moon, when I'm alone?
Been thinking a lot about my Saturn return. My Saturn is in Pisces 12H. I noticed from when Saturn ingressed into Pisces that I've been very aware of the bonds I have with others (codependence), more able to address those patterns in myself, and also much more open to mystical things. (I've had phases in the past but this time feels so much more peaceful a transition.) Saturn return feels like readiness. The stuff I've been trying to do is suddenly happening, so the readiness is there. "Finally..." feeling.
My teacher said that Cap Suns tend to have an easier time with Saturn returns. And I'm also a day chart, which in Hellenistic astrology makes Saturn behave. So those are some disclaimers for others to consider.
Almost my whole chart is locked up by Saturn by aspect, so chains are slowly releasing. My life is moving when it hasn't moved before. Feels a bit like being unleashed.
Looked at my Saturn cycle. When Saturn was at the applying square to my natal Saturn, I felt a huge shift. It's one of my favourite accomplishments of my life so far. I actually finished writing a book. I had never finished anything before (Mars oppose Saturn in nativity), so it was huge. (If I remember right this was also one of those spiritual phases I had.)
I'm wondering if the rule of thumb that people aren't fully aware of their 12H is only true if they don't have a highlighted 12H. When people have planets that land in my 12H by synastry, I am aware. I feel like I'm leaning backwards to them. I feel dependent on their satisfaction. I observe that I lose focus on my dreams the moment they enter a room. (Ruler of my 12H is Saturn, stuck in a T-square with Mars and Jupiter, so that makes sense.) But that could also be that they're likely to hit my Saturn.
The Neptune transit through Pisces has been... something. I'm not 100% sure what I've noticed about it yet.
#astrology observations#astro observations#astroblr#saturn return#pisces saturn return#twelfth house
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Hey! I think youre an amazing writer and i really look up to you. Ive been reading your works since reylo, you inspired me to write my own reylo stuff. I think youre wonderful and could read your works over and over again. I was just wondering if I could ask you advice. I'm trying to get into writing second person pov fanfic, but I'm terrible at it. I can write it from third person or first person no problem. I was wondering if you had any tips.
oh thank you, i really appreciate that!!! and im so glad you're giving writing a shot!! honestly it's so tough to actually make the decision to sit down and write something and then show it to other people (and it's very scary and kind of humbling as you get better and better and look back at your old work haha) so that's so awesome!!
i actually wrote so much beneath this so i needed the "read more" lmaooo
actually, i'll tell you what, when you first transition from writing 1st or 3rd person to writing in 2nd person, it feels weird and abnormal, but i've actually grown to love 2nd pov. i just love the way it sounds in my head when i'm constructing a sentence. and tbh there's actually not a huge difference from writing 1st and 2nd pov in my opinion.
like my general thoughts around 2nd pov are:
obviously since it's an internal dialogue (like the perspective is rooted in the person you're writing from rather than some omniscient 3rd pov), while you can still describe what's happening on the main character's face ("you purse your lips" "you frown, annoyed" etc), it's still coming from their perspective, so there's a level of depth there that other characters around them don't have. like Price in my western fic is a bit more mysterious on account of him not being a narrator figure in the story.
if you're using 2nd pov because you're writing an x reader fic, and you want to keep your reader character quite neutral, ensure that you're avoiding big descriptors like skin colour, hair texture/length, body size (unless you're specifically writing a fat reader or a reader with a specific body type, in which case, go wild!), height, etc. your reader character is never going to be 100% neutral, but just pay attention to any descriptors you add and you can make sure they're as neutral as can be.
this is probably obvious, but you don't have to start every sentence with "you did x" or "you said y" or whatever. you can still be loose and flexible with your sentences like you might be in a 3rd person narration. like, i'll take apart a paragraph from my fic and highlight where i've added the "you/your" pov:
The worry making your body tense and stiff finally releases once you’re alone. You curl up on the bed without pulling down the sheets or taking your dress off. The journey's left you weak, sapped of energy. Worn down to your base elements. Hardly unexpected after what you’ve gone through, after leaving behind a cooling body two states away. The days since have left you sick with worry, nerves shot when you consider how the authorities will look to you first, the maid, and find in your absence all the answers they need.
notice that i only started one sentence with "you" here. i think some people mistake using 2nd pov for thinking that the entire story/fic has to be a direct narration of what the character is doing (i.e. "you walk to the end of the hall and then you sit down. you notice a silver bullet on the table near you. you pick it up.") but that's not the case.
the narration is coming from this character, yes, but it's also still a story. this is hard to describe, but there's almost a weird, unconscious 3rd pov in the story at the same time, like you're looking down at this narrator and you're speaking through them, but you still have some externality. in order to tell an evocative, interesting story, you HAVE to know and notice at least a bit more than your narrator consciously does.
this kind of mirrors real life in a way actually because your brain picks up a lot of information that you as a person don't consciously absorb. it's why humans are able to have quick reflexes and dodge/duck things or whatever without realizing what they're doing. (look up "unconscious perception"). you can do this with 1st pov as well, but 1st pov is very useful for stream of consciousness stories or really getting into a character's head. 2nd pov is still governed by that narrator character, but it's picking up on other details and information in the surrounding environment.
anyway i hope this is in any way helpful haha - it's how i like to think of writing in 2nd pov!
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Trans-national Ethnography Reading List
Studies of trans in the academy usually kind of suck. There is a tendency to speak through us, to understand our claims to gender as either pitiful or dangerously conformist, and generally to just not listen to anything we have to say. Gender has traditionally been the property of feminist theorists, who have produced a lot of great work that's well worth using. But any researcher who does not seriously contend with the anti-feminine and anti-porn tendencies of feminist theory will find it impossible to take trans seriously: we tend to be really hot, sort of sexual, and always a little bit too loud.
Ethnographic research is pretty resistant to these academic neuroses. Because ethnographic work involves months-long immersion in a group and participation in its members' daily lives, ethnographers are forced to identify with trans people for extended periods of time, which tends to bleed away the worst of this shit [1]. Ethnography also has a strong ethic toward preserving research subjects' ways of seeing the world, enforced via direct quotes, frequent narration, and the prioritization of endogenous terms which research subjects already use. As a pleasant side effect, this also makes ethnographies a bit clearer to read than your average academic tome.
So with that in mind, I've got a list of stuff to read. If you are unused to academic jargon I would recommend the books (in italics), because they tend to be more 'traditional' and therefore readable. They're also more accessible because certain sites carry a wide catalog of free digital books. The articles aren't too bad either, but ethnography really deserves a few hundred pages more than an article gives, so the writing always looks a little bit squished. I'd read "Decolonizing Transgender in India" anyways, as well as Kira Hall's excellent piece.
READINGS
Imagining Transgender: An Ethnography of a Category. By David Valentine.
The Kothi Wars: AIDS Cosmopolitanism and the Morality of Classification. By Lawrence Cohen.
Decolonizing Transgender in India: Some Reflections. By Aniruddha Dutta and Raina Roy.
Dissenting Differently: Solidarities and Tensions between Student Organizing and Trans-Kothi-Hijra Activism in Eastern India. By Aniruddha Dutta.
Elsewheres in Queer Hindutva: A Hijra Case Study. By Aniruddha Dutta.
Subjectivities, Knowledge, and Gendered and Sexual Transitions. By Paul Boyce and Aksay Khanna, chapter in the Cambridge Handbook for the Anthropology of Gender and Sexuality.
Shifting gender positions among Hindi-speaking hijras. By Kira Hall.
Perverse Citizenship: Divas, Marginality, and Participation in "Loca-lization." By Marcia Ochoa.
Queen for a Day: Transformistas, Beauty Queens, and the Performance of Femininity in Venezuela. By Marcia Ochoa.
The Made-Up State: Technology, Trans Femininity, and Citizenship in Indonesia. By Benjamin Hegarty.
Beauty that Matters: Brazilian "Travesti" Sex Workers Feeling Beautiful. By Julieta Vartabedian.
Bodies and desires on the internet: An approach to trans women sex workers’ websites. By Julieta Vartabedian.
Footnotes
The disgust can come back once they get away from us for a while. See Annick Prieur's 1994 article and her 1998 book, which have pretty different levels of casual transmisogynistic hate.
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Transition journal #2: October 2023
Two months, lets gooooo!!!!!! To start off, I've updated my metrics spreadsheet:
My first levels check is on there, alongside the usual stuff.
I have a couple of thoughts and notes, just like I did last month, but this is probably going to be a bit shorter and less excited than last month. Nothing disappointing about this month, just less so than the wave of emotions that came with starting.
The biggest change in the past month has def been that I started my spiro based on my levels. I was actually genuinely surprised that my levels were that low on E and high on T. T is solidly above target levels, and my endo described my E as “barely acceptable” and said we should get it higher. I’m all for it, of course. But that also means starting spiro.
Right before starting spiro, I was noting that that initial burst of changes was slowing down. Notably, it seemed like breast growth was slowing, but tbf, it really seemed like I had a frenzy of it to kick off the changes. Spiro does feel like it restarted that, but I can’t tell how much that’s a direct effect of it and how much it's just that these changes are going in bursts anyways.
That being said, it's been an interesting month of changes. Notably, my overbust hasn’t increased at all- but, I’ve lost a lot of weight overall. My waist and underbust both decreased, while my overbust and hips remained exactly the same. So proportionately, they’ve grown. I’m actually shocked that my underbust decreased, even if it was just half an inch. Best I can figure is that I have fat pockets that extend down from my armpits, and I think I burned fat from those. While bone changes are possible even in adults on HRT, they wouldn’t happen this fast to my ribcage. I don’t think I’m go
Of course, I’m wildly happy about the way my waist has been developing. Not only is it quantitatively thinning, the way the fat looks even in side profile is gradually looking more like “female” pudge as opposed to “man” pudge. Does that make sense? There’s certainly a difference between the way hormonally male and female people carry their belly fat, and I think I’m starting to see just a little of that femaleness shine through. I’m ecstatic. I do want to lose a tiny bit more weight, or at least maintain my current weight while other regions of my body grows, and hopefully this trend will continue. Gotta have the best waist for someone’s arm to slip around.
As usual, it does seem like my wide shoulders and barrel chest are a little at odds with my waist-to-hip ratio. I have a full on fridge upper body, a nicely slimming waist, and relatively wide hips. That seems to be holding pretty true, but we’ll see how it turns out long term.
I made a post about this the other day, but I do think I’m registering facial changes on some subconscious level. I can’t really put my finger on it, but something is different in the mirror. I’m comparing before and after unmasked pictures, and I do think there’s some slight facial changes coming on. But still, I’m a little worried about the pace of it, and worried about if I’ll ever pass in that department. But hey. If I don’t, I don’t, and I just present how I want, when I want.
It’s not noticeable enough to really tell yet, but I think my facial hair growth has slowed a little bit. I’m shaving weekly at this point, and it does seem a little bit thinner every time. But I don’t think I have enough data to tell, really, so we’ll see where that goes. It’ll never get to the point where I won’t need laser. I’m mostly just worried that my facial hair will be my last bastion of boymoding, so I’m being a dumbass and procrastinating a lot on that.
Overall, however, I do want to get tf off of spiro once my levels are stable and can potentially be suppressed by estrogen alone. There’s a little I’ll write about below, but mostly… the motherfucking diuretic effect. Oh my fucking god. My caffeine and water consumption means I pee a lot anyways, but fucking hell. I feel like a goddamn fountain, what the fuck. Hopefully I’ll be able to get off it sooner rather than later, especially if I can get injections.
Mild nsfw ahead. As usual, this is raw information, and if you’re weird about it, you will be blocked.
If I didn’t say this before, the information in the spreadsheet is only part of what I’m logging monthly- I have a more extensive record that includes things that feel just an ooch intrusive. This also includes a SHITTON of progress pictures in neutral poses and expressions that I’ve standardized to be the same across the months. I mention this bc I can def see some progress in these pictures. Mostly, I think this has to do with my lower body and waist shape. My ass has def gotten a bit bigger, but the reason my hip measurement hasn’t changed is because that measurement is still dominated by my thighs, and the place where growth is happening is still slightly offset from the largest hip measurement, which, as far as I know, is where it's supposed to be taken.
My breasts have also gotten a lot more distinctly breast-like in their qualitative visual appearance. I think this is a combination of the bust to band size/waist ratio getting better, as well as the breasts filling in more. My nipples are less protruding than last month, and the breast is forming a bit more of a mound as opposed to just essentially the bud forming. Eg, there’s actual structure there now. I can actual hop up and down and yes, they do jiggle. Still, the nipples are leading the charge. I’m a little worried about “cone tits”, or breasts where the nipple develops and pushes out without giving much of a rounded shape to the surrounding tissue. I think its a bit too early to tell, however. I’m hoping to get some nice, serious development in before I start progesterone, and the way things are going… yeah, I think I’ll be good there. Obviously I don’t want them to stop anytime soon, but if my boobs continue at this rate, I don’t think I’ll have anything to worry about chest wise.
The sensitivity “cycle” I’ve been going through does seem to have continued, although the timing of it is erratic. I do very clearly go through bursts of higher erotic sensitivity, followed by uncomfortable sensitivity, followed by a lack of sensitivity. The timing, again, is erratic. We’ll see what it stabilizes to long term- this could be a very unstable transfemme period (side note, I know that’s a controversial topic in the trans community. There’s very little data on the subject, but I do believe it is likely that its happening. The estrogen pathway can easily be cyclical when started. But I digress, I’ll relate my personal experience to that as time goes on and keep my eye out for any papers.).
Since starting spiro, I’ve also noticed some differences in sexual function. I’m not gonna get into the raw details there, I’ve recorded them in a personal version of this. But do note if you’re considering spiro that it's a thing that will probably happen.
#transition journal#trans#transgender#trans femme#trans timeline#transition#transitioning#trans documentation#trans woman#transfemme#mtf trans#trans fem#trans journal
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Ahhhhhhhh, I am so so so sorry! I got into character ai recently and next thing I know 2 weeks has passed. It was all a blur- ugh I feel bad and now I have to slowly transition out that writing style to the writing style of this. So enjoy this, cause fuck I lost track of time so hard... I'll try to finish the 2nd chapter soon since I usually write fast. I just need time to resist the urge to go back to that site. Also it was super fun got a husband, lover, and son. Went through hell to get there but it was worth it.
I Saw You Once In a Dream, Maybe|| Pt. 8
You immediately chase down Monkey King and your mother. Hoping that he doesn’t spout out any more nonsense to your mother.
“Oh- stop telling her lies! Mom please don’t listen to him!”
Monkey King just smirks at you as lean onto the kitchen counter. While your mother looks at you confused.
“What do you mean? Don’t pretend, I saw you kissing him outside the house~” She said with a smile.
You felt your face turn red, quickly cover it with your hand. This was getting too much.
“That was- ugh, mom please, he was just messing around, we are NOT getting married.” You state trying to keep your cool.
“Oh~ weren’t you the one dreaming about our wedding day?” He said, giving you the most shit-eating grin. Your mother’s eyes went wide and looked at you with such excitement, you couldn’t help but feel nervous.
“You? I never thought I would see the day my sweet child would- when’s the wedding day?”
“You two are unbelievable.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh with frustration. “Mom, you said you wanted me to pick up something, what was it?”
She let out a laugh.
“That can wait, I want to know about my child’s special someone. This is the first time you brought them home. He must be very special to you.”
Monkey King raises an eyebrow.
“Really? Well, it makes sense we are getting married soon.”
You feel your face get redder as this goes on. You're an adult, not some middle schooler dealing with some crush. You sigh shakily and calm your blushing face.
“You know what? Fine! Sure, I'm too tired for this. Mom, please what was the thing you wanted to give me?”
“Sweetheart, you know I was just teasing you a bit. Let me go get it- I was cleaning the attic and found some of your old things.” She went to the living room and brought out a small box. “I thought you wanted these back.”
You open the box to see what was inside. Just some old things, old journals, books, pictures, and hard drives.
“Oh I remember these! I've been looking for these books too! So it was in the attic, I must have put them there and forgot about it. Thanks, mom.”
Monkey King looks over your shoulder to see. You just push his head back and laugh.
“What I just wanted to see?” He said laughing along.
“This is my old stuff, I’m not going to let you see. Anyways you were really pushing it with that joke.”
He just laughs before giving you space again.
“Sorry, I just couldn’t help it.”
“You two are so sweet, oh also, I made pie earlier today. Here let me hand you a plate to take.”
She grabs a container and cuts a large slice. Before handing it to you.
“Thank you, mom. Take care alright?”
She nods and leads the two of you back to the front door.
“That goes for you too! Also-” She turns to Monkey King with a smirk. “Take care of my child, they matter to me a lot.”
“MOM!”
“Don't worry, I will.” He said laughing.
Your face turned red as you both left. Monkey King walks beside you with a smug expression on his face, while you look forward with a stern face.
“I should have left you at Pigsy’s.”
“Yet you didn't! I'm enjoying our little date.”
“Date?! This is not a date! We barely met just a few hours ago!”
“-And now, apparently getting married.” His grin widens as he glances at you. A hit of mischief in his eyes.
“We are NOT getting married.” You mutter out.
“I mean, you were the one who has been dreaming of our wedding day.”
“Now I'm thinking, those dreams were a warning. Maybe I should listen and-” You pause as you glance at him, finally smirking. “-Stay away from you.”
You pick up your pace and laugh. His smug face falls as he looks worried and nervous.
“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was just joking around.” He immediately picks up his pace and apologizes.
“I'll stop! Please, I just thought it was cute and wanted to joke around.” He quickly explains.
“It's just, I wanted to talk and hang out with you but whenever I do, I get so nervous and chicken out.”
His face was getting red and looked away from you.
“Actually, now that you mention it. When did you meet me?”
“W-well, it's just…okay so I usually shapeshift into a bird whenever I want to see the city and during those times… I ran into you…” He clears his throat and turns his head to the side, embarrassed. “You were taking pictures and snapped a shot at me.”
“Wait, the little brown bird that always follows me around! That was you?!”
His face turned red and couldn’t look you in the eyes.
“Y-yes, that was me. I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid you'd freak out so I thought, I'll get the kid to help me out and- well here we are.” He finally turns his head to you. His cheeks slightly red, as he smiles at you.
“Look, I really didn’t mean to joke around that far and made you uncomfortable. I just got too excited and got carried away.”
You stayed silent for a while, as you two walked down the street.
“Today was…something but it wasn’t bad. As much as you made me frustrated earlier, today was fun. So don’t worry too much about it, anyways it’s been a while since I saw my mom that excited.”
Monkey King's gaze softens at you. He lets out a small laugh, his posture relaxing.
“Still, I shouldn’t have told your mom that. After we first met…even though technically this is our first time talking to one another.”
You bump into his arm, to nudge him, and roll your eyes.
“It had been a long while since I hung out with anybody this long. Usually I keep to myself, but this was nice. Thank you for tagging along.”
“You don't have to thank me, I just wanted to actually talk with you for once. I should be thanking you for giving me a chance!”
You smile at him softly. Feeling touched by his words. For once, you didn't feel lonely. As the two of you went on chatting, you realized that the feeling hadn't plagued you since meeting him and it felt nice. Instead, all you felt was a soft warmth in your heart that seemed to grow the longer he stayed by your side.
It wasn't long until you both made it to your house. You turned on the lights, as you lead him to the living room.
“Make yourself at home. Let me put these down somewhere and we can head out to get some groceries.”
Monkey King sits on the couch and sighs. As you went to the kitchen and placed the small container on the counter and put the small box away in your room.
“You got a nice place here.”
“Why, thank you. If you like it so much, you can stay here and rest while I get groceries.” You said while walking up to the couch.
“Hmm, tough choice. I mean, it would be nice to tag along but your couch feels nice, I can definitely take a small nap here.” He said laying on the couch. “You know what? I'll tag along if you ask me~”
You felt your face flush from the request. Will you actually ask him to accompany you or will you leave him here on the couch? Is there even a bad choice to make in this situation? Who knows~
#lmk reader#lmk sun wukong#lmk monkey king#lmk x reader#lmk x y/n#sun wukong#monkey king#lmk sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x y/n#monkey king x reader#lmk monkey king x reader
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hi hii 🌸 weird questions for writers: 12, 17, 28 and 35 pls? ily
hii adi !! thank u for asking !! ily
12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules
Wow, this is like the most interesting and fun question ever. I definitely wouldn’t wish for more wishes because that’s cheating duh. I’m trying to think of what I really struggle with while writing. I think my first wish would be to always remember those super fantastic 2 a.m. ideas I have but never write down. It’s literally the worst thing ever to go to bed having a super great idea and then waking up going “wait, shit, what was that idea again?” I think my second wish would be to always know how to end a scene! There are so many scenes I have that I think fall a little flat in their transition to the next one because I’m just going “oh shit I need to cut this off so I can get to the next.” So I would wish that I always knew the perfect transition line to end a scene. And my final wish… hmm. OOO it would to never have any continuity errors in my writing lol!! I’m not great at math so figuring out timing for fics and the timeline is always really confusing for me and I’m TOTALLY sure about half my fics have some type of plot hole related to the timeline. So, my third wish would be to always have an understandable and cohesive timeline in a fic that has no inconsistencies or continuity errors <3
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
I SHOULDNT! I shouldn’t get into it, Adi, you’ll be here for DAYS. I am having literally the time of my life writing up all the little background details for this fic right now (this is my lil chaptered groupie fic im working on) and I think Most of them will make their way into the text somehow so I won't give, like, too many spoilers But there’s also plenty of stuff that won’t make it in there! Like, I had to make up this fake band for the fic (Lovelace) and to do that, I had to plan their albums/setlist for their tour (so I knew what tf i was talking about when writing). And to do that, I had to write a little bit of every single song they have!! So for the last week or so, I made a masterdoc and wrote a verse or two from every single one of their songs (which is 24 songs so I'm kind of giving 5sos a run for their money). Obviously, a few of these lyrics will find their way into the fic (like I've already included some in the first chapter) but definitely not all of them (because a couple songs are written really badly lmao) so it’s just a pretty cool little secret thing to have to help me write !!! and then there’s also a lot of backstory/history about the forming of the band (and some band dynamic stuff) that me and Ashley have talked about but I don’t know how much of that will or won’t appear in the fic yet <3 there's also the whole planning all the venues and the shows dates and what hotels they're staying at aaaa. I could never work in the industry it's way too much planning. but i think the coolest part of the process so far has been designing and writing the albums <3
28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?
Aw this is a cute one. Hmm i think the answer is Take Notes Calum tbh!! He was so much fun to write and, honestly, I’ve really struggled trying to write any characters like him moving forward. Like he’s just kind of Weird. He’s very manic pixie dream boyfriend coded. I had the most fun writing Take Notes because it was so silly while also kind of serious and in most of my other work I struggle to really reattain that balance. Like I feel as though I tip either one way or the other and TN was really the only fic that rode the line super well. And I think that was in large part due to the way I wrote Calum in that fic so!! I really enjoyed him and wish I could write him again!!
35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?
Great question because there are a lot of writing “rules” i DO follow pretty closely so it’s hard to know exactly which ones I break. I’ve heard writers say to “avoid prologues” but I really love a prologue so that’s something. OO I will say !! a big rule of advice I got in high school creative writing was “don’t write a hobo in space story” (this is from a really good short story that talked about all the short stories you shouldn’t write lol) which is basically a story where two characters just hang out and talk and nothing really Happens except for them talking. And, honestly, i fucking love a hobo in space story. I love a scene where it’s just two dudes Talking. So i definitely do that sort of thing a lot even though i was told not to lol <3
#pigeon#adi#thank u for asking !!!#i LOVE WIIP GAMES#and these questions are so FUN#ily adi !!!#mwah
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Thoughts on episode 2!
(now that i've watched the entire episode 3 times lol)
Things I loved:
- Human Stolas! What an absolute fucking delight.
- the Via panic attack to Blitzø panic attack transition
- Little hint about Blitzø's backstory!!!
- The lovely little Stolitz feast: Blitzø being very into Stolas' human form (we don't get that many moments where we clearly see Blitzø being attracted to Stolas, so i really liked that), Stolas' pep talk/seduction moment, Stolas laughing at Blitzø's jokes, the hand-holding (which might've been out of place if it were on purpose but I'm pretty sure Blitzø doesn't fully realize he's doing it), Stolas blushing and being generally, adorably smitten.
- And damn, the Loona stuff...oof.
- Loona and Via bonding!!
Things I didn’t love/had mixed feelings about:
I was a little caught off-guard by the Stolitz issues not being acknowledged at all. Now, I will say I would definitely have taken MUCH more issue with them suddenly having a deep conversation and fixing everything, so this is preferable - it was just a bit jarring that they didn't seem even a little bit impacted by episode 7? However, it does make total sense and is entirely in character for them to be pretending nothing ever happened. And it's not as if their issues are never going to get addressed. I feel confident that future episodes are going to dive back into their relationship, so I'm not worried. It's also possible there was some follow-up in the elusive episode 8, which might've helped the transition.
- I was also hoping for some Blitz backstory - but I think (and hope) it's gonna be pretty angsty and heavy-hitting, so it would make sense for it to be later in the season. And ofc I'll be clinging to the crumb we got.
- This is a small thing, but...I dunno, I don't love the extent to which they had Loona beating on Blitzø at the end? Like, sure, suddenly being all cuddly with him or something wouldn't have been realistic, but what we got felt like a bit much (especially because they did it...twice? In the space of one minute? Like. why are we just repeating jokes here?) Though upon rewatching I did notice Loona gives this little smile, which helps.
Honestly, Loona internally recognizing that Blitzø is trying but not yet being in a place where she can express that to him (in words or actions) makes a lot of sense. I'm pretty certain there's going to be more development for their relationship down the road. (But I still think the stuff at the end was excessive).
- In terms of the episode overall - imo the writing and plot was...fine? Idk, I don't like secondhand embarrassment so the sitcom part was a little rough for me. I guess I'm having a difficult time figuring out how I feel about this episode, because while it had so many moments I absolutely loved, the episode as a whole felt...idk, kind of off to me? Maybe it was the pacing, a couple of little characterization things, the writing in general? I'm not sure.
Tl;dr: It's not that the episode wasn't great, I just don't feel that it quite hits the bar set by the previous episodes, and I can't fully put my finger on why. But regardless - when it comes to individual moments? SO MANY fantastic ones!
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