#this is actually how being a teenage girl was like back ina day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aion-rsa · 4 years

Text

11 Diverse Vampire Stories To Read Instead of Midnight Sun

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

There’s a very good chance we’re going to read Midnight Sun, the companion novel to pop culture juggernaut Twilight that retells the first story in the Stephanie Meyer YA vampire series from Edward Cullen’s perspective. But we can enjoy something while also being critical of it, and the truth is: our culture deserves more, better vampire stories than what the Twilight saga has to offer. With that in mind, we’ve pooled our collective knowledge to recommend the following vampire stories that have more diverse and imaginative takes on the popular genre. From short stories to book series, hopefully there’s something here for you…

Fledgling by Octavia Butler

A good general rule of life to follow is that if Octavia Butler has written something in a particular genre, you should read it. And that’s as true in the world of vampire fiction as anywhere else. Fledging was the final book Butler published before her untimely death in 2006 and, though it’s technically a vampire story, it’s also a whole lot more than that.

Much in the same way that Butler’s Kindred is a time travel story that tackles physical and psychological horrors of slavery, Fledging is a vampire tale that explores issues of racism and sexuality. In it, a 10-year-old girl with amnesia discovers that she’s not actually a girl at all, but a fifty-something hybrid member of the Ina. Ina are basically what we understand as vampires in this universe – they’re a nocturnal, long-lived species who survive by drinking human blood. They’ve formed something of a symbiotic relationship with the humans they live alongside, using them as a food source in exchange for boosting their immune systems and helping them live (much) longer.

As Shori regains her memories of her former life, Fledging uses her unique situation as an avenue to explore timely issues of bigotry and identity. As a human-Ina hybrid, Shuri has been genetically modified to have dark skin, allowing her to go outside for brief periods during the day, but drawing the ire and distrust of others. As the novel further explores complex issues of family and connection – both the Ina and their human symbionts tend to mate in packs – Butler pokes at Shori’s uniquely uncomfortable position of being the master over one particular group, even as she herself is considered part of something like an underclass within Ina culture. And the end result is something that’s much more than a vampire tale, even as it embraces—and outright parodies—some of its most obvious tropes.

– Lacy Baugher

Buy Fledgling by Octavia Butler on Amazon

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

Twilight’s sin was not in trying to make vampires sexy all over again (it’s OK to make bloodsuckers cool), but rather in amplifying the teenage girl protagonist’s desire while blunting her agency. In doing so, Meyer maintained the dynamic of traditional vampire narratives instead of modernizing it. Five years after Breaking Dawn was released, Holly Black redeemed the YA vampire novel with her standalone tale, set in a world where it’s not just one hormonal teenager who’s dying to be a vampire, but all of society craving that sweet sweet immortality.

In Black’s world, everyone wants to be Cold: infected by a vampire bite but neither killed nor made into a fully-fledged vampire. Not until they drink human blood, at least. But in an effort to control the rising population of vampires and Cold people, the governments created Coldtowns, trapping both in a never-ending party town. The titular Coldest girl is Tana, who wakes up after a (very human, very teenage) rager to find almost everyone slaughtered and herself bitten. Fearing that she has become Cold, she voluntarily turns herself in to the nearest Coldtown along with her also-bitten ex-boyfriend Aidan and Gavriel, a vampire who seeks to take down the uber-vampire who rules the Coldtown.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown is a sly riff on the vampire obsession that took over pop culture in the early 2000s, yet still its own cautionary tale about chasing after a glamorous, self-destructive afterlife. The cast of characters are fully fleshed-out, from a twin with a fangirl blog to Gavriel as an actually suitable vampire love interest to Tana Bach herself, who gets to be proactive where Bella Swan was always reactive. Best of all, it knows that it doesn’t need to lure readers back to a franchise, like vampires returning again and again to feed, instead telling its entire story in one bloody, chilly gulp.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy The Coldest Girl in Coldtown on Amazon

Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan LeFanu, edited by Carmen Maria Machado

A quarter-century before Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a different vampire seduced young women away from the suffocating constraints of their lives by awakening within their blood a thrilling, oft-considered perverse, desire. That it is a female vampire—the eponymous Carmilla, known also by her aliases Mircalla and Millarca—likely explains why LeFanu’s text is either incredibly well-known among niche circles, or entirely absent from pop cultural canons. Yet the moment you read it, its depiction of the heady attraction between innocent Laura and possessive Carmilla is anything but subtext.

Like Dracula, this Gothic horror novella is presented as a found text, with a frame narrative of occult detective Dr. Hesselius presenting Laura’s bizarre case… but also to some extent controlling her voice. In her new introduction, Machado posits a startling new contextualization: that Hesselius and Laura’s correspondence is not a fictional device, but a fictionalization of real-life letters between a Doctor Peter Fontenot and Veronika Hausle, about the latter’s charged relationship with the alluring Marcia Marén. That their relationship provided the basis for Laura and Carmilla, but that only the tragic parts were transmuted through the vampire metaphor, excising the queer joy of their partnership, further illustrates how these stories fail their subjects. Yet neither is Marén wholly innocent; as with In the Dream House, Machado does not flinch away from imperfect or even violent queer relationships, such as they resemble any other dynamic between two people.

It’s best to read Machado’s Russian nesting doll narrative without knowing much about her motivations. Though it might be useful to consider how she ends the introduction with something of a confession: “The act of interacting with text—that is to say, of reading—is that of inserting one’s self into what is static and unchanging so that it might pump with fresh blood.” Or try running some of these names through anagram filters.

And if that whets your appetite for other adaptations, the 2014 Carmilla web series both wrestles the frame story back into Laura’s hands, in the form of a video-diary journalism project, and makes the Laura/Carmilla romance very much text.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Carmilla on Amazon

A Phoenix Must First Burn, edited by Patrice Caldwell

A Phoenix Must First Burn is a collection of sixteen short stories about magic, fantasy, and sci-fi that focus on Black women and gender non-conforming individuals. The book features stories about fantasy creatures of all kinds, witches, shape shifters, and vampires alike. What they have in common is that they are stories about and by Black people, and they offer unique takes on familiar lore.

Bella Swan is a great protagonist in the Twilight series because she is whatever the reader needs her to be. Just distinct enough that you can conjure her in your mind, but mostly a blank slate for the reader to step into the story with her, using her as their avatar. That’s a generality specific to White characters. In A Phoenix Must First Burn, the protagonists are Black. This gives them a very particular point of view, and one that isn’t as common in fantasy, and in the vampire tales of yore.

In Stephenie Meyer’s world vampires look like they’re lathered in Fenty body shimmer when they’re in direct sunlight. In “Letting the Right One In,” Patrice Caldwell gives us a vampire who is a Black girl, with dark brown skin, and coiled hair. Sparkling vampires are certainly a unique spin, but the Cullens are still White and don’t challenge any ideas of what it means to be an immortal blood-drinking creature of the night. A Phoenix Must First Burn shifts the lens to focus on the experience of Black folks, and allows them to be magical, enigmatic, and romantic.

– Nicole Hill

Buy A Phoenix First Must Burn on Amazon

Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

In the Twilight series, we’re introduced to vampires from other cultures, but they are all very much the same, save for their individual power sets which appear to be unrelated to their ethnicity or nationality. In Certain Dark Things, vampires are a species with several different subspecies and where they come from influences how they look and what kind of powers they have.

Atl is from Mexico and is bird-winged descendent of Blood-drinking Aztecs. The Necros, European vampires, have an entirely different look and set of abilities. Certain Dark Things doesn’t just include vampires from all around the world, it incorporates vampire mythology from all of those places, filling its world with a rich array of distinct vampires with their specific quirks and gifts.

In his four-star review of the book on Goodreads, author Rick Riordan had this to say. “Throwing vampire myths from so many cultures together was right down my alley. If you like vampire books but would appreciate some . . . er, fresh blood . . . this is a fast-paced read that breathes fresh life into the genre.” Riordan, who opened up his literary world to new storytellers and has championed authors of color is certainly a person whose opinion holds weight. Vampires haven’t gone out of style, but the Draculas and Edward Cullens are.

– Nicole Hill

Buy Certain Dark Things on Amazon

Vampires Never Get Old, edited by Zoriada Córdova & Natalie C. Parker

This anthology featuring vampires who lurk on social media just as much as they lurk in the night will hit the bookstore shelves on September 22, just in time to start prepping for Halloween. Edited by Zoriada Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, the collection features eleven new stories and a really fantastic author list, populated with a diverse group of authors from a ton of backgrounds and sexualities. The contributors include V. E. Schwab, known for her “Darker Shade of Magic” series; Nebula, Hugo, and Locus Award-winner, Rebecca Roanhorse; Internment author Samira Ahmed; Dhionelle Clayton, author of The Belles and Tiny Pretty Things; “The Blood Journals” author Tessa Gratton (who also contributed to the super spooky looking Edgar Allan Poe-inspired His Hideous Heart); Heidi Heilig, author of the “Shadow Players” trilogy; Julie Murphy, whose book Dumplin’ was adapted for the Netflix film of the same name; Lammy Award winner Mark Oshiro, whose forthcoming YA fantasy Each of Us a Desert will hit stands just before this anthology; Thirteen Doorways author Laura Ruby; and essayist and short story writer Kayla Whaley.

There are a lot of YA authors on this list, many of whom crossover to adult, so there’s a good chance readers will find some of their favorite kinds of angsty vampires on these pages, as well as body-conscious vampires, and vamps coming out as well as going out into the night, seeking for their perfect victim—or just looking for love.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Buy Vampires Never Get Old on Amazon

Choice of the Vampire by Jason Stevan Hill

Back in 2010, when I was first getting to know interactive fiction, Jason Stevan Hill wrote Choice of the Vampire for the still-relatively new company, Choice of Games. A sequel came out in 2013, and this year, the third interactive novel, in which you, the reader make the choices, releases. Best played from a mobile device (although you can play in your browser as well), the interactive novels from Choice of Games are always fun (disclosure: I have written a few), and they’re dedicated to featuring inclusive options to let players express their personalities, gender identities, and sexualities within the confines of the game. Choice of the Vampire starts players as young vampires in 1815 New Orleans. In The Fall of Memphis, the story moves to 1873, and rather than facing the concerns of learning to survive their unlife adventures, players get embroiled in the politics of Memphis, where vampires are electing a new Senator, and the Klan is on the rise.

With the release of St. Louis, Unreal City, the intention is that the two earlier games will be combined into one larger omnibus, so that players can have an uninterrupted play experience of the full story. St. Louis, Unreal City moves the story forward into 1879, in a St. Louis where the first wave of Chinese immigrants and the dismantling of Reconstruction force the city to face its systemic racism. As workers demand greater rights—and rich financiers attempt to keep control of the nation’s wealth—vampires have to continue to hide, lest they be destroyed. But when one of their own lets loose the beast, causing terror in the streets of America, players have to decide how their character will triumph in a changing world. Stevan Hill pours a ton of historical detail into the scenes he creates, making these vampire stories as much historical fiction as they are fantasy or horror. In advance of the release of the newest installment, the first two games have been updated with new material, so if you’ve played them before, they’re worth a replay before you launch into Night Road!

– Alana Joli Abbott

Moonshine by Alaya Dawn Johnson

Like the first two Choice of the Vampire stories, Moonshine, which came out in 2010, embroils its protagonist in the social struggles of its era: the 1920s of New York City. Zephyr Hollis is an activist, devoted to creating equality for both humans and Others, including vampires, despite her upbringing as the daughter of a demon-hunter. She’s immune to vampire bites, which is helpful when she discovers a newly-turned child vampire; if she turns him in, the authorities will kill him, so soft-hearted Zephyr takes the child in and feeds him her own blood. When she’s approached by a jinn, Amir, to use her cover as a charity worker to undermine a vampire mob boss in exchange for his help with the child, he doesn’t explain what he’s after—but Zephyr’s intrigued enough by the idea (and Amir) that she gets involved. If you already finished Johnson’s newest novel, The Trouble with Saints (also set in historical New York, this one during World War II), returning to this earlier novel and its sequel, Wicked City, will be a fast-paced treat.

Buy Moonshine on Amazon

“A Kiss With Teeth” by Max Gladstone

There are not a ton of stories out there about vampire parenting—and fewer that are more about what it means to be a parent, what it means to give up the person you were before (even it that person was a monster). Max Gladstone’s 2014 short story, published at Tor.com, is absolutely a vampire story in the classic sense: a hunt, a victim, a struggle. But it’s also the tale of a vampire, Vlad, who settles down with a vampire hunter, and the changes that settling down create for both of them. How can a parent be honest with his child when he’s hiding something so core to his identity? Even playing baseball in the park requires Vlad to hide his own strength. And how can he work with the teacher to help his son with struggling grades when that teacher is the ideal prey? The idea of being a vampire blends with the idea of hiding an affair, of planning to do something that shouldn’t be done, and then determining whether or not to do it. The way the story is written, it’s hard to tell where it’s going to go, or how two parents hiding so much about themselves can ever be honest with their child—but when it comes to the end, Gladstone knocks it out of the park.

– Alana Joli Abbott

Queen of Kings by Maria Dahvana Headley

The visual of Cleopatra dying with a poisonous asp clutched to her breast is an iconic, Shakespearean-tinged bit of history that we all learned in our ancient Egypt history units. However, Headley’s debut novel gives the queen a bit more credit, by reimagining that instead of going all Romeo and Juliet after the supposed death of her lover Marc Antony, she strikes a bargain with Sekhmet, goddess of death and destruction who has nonetheless begun fading away due to a dearth of worship. In Shakespearean fashion, things go awry when Sekhmet seizes control of Cleopatra, transforming her into an immortal being and transmuting her revenge into a literal bloodlust.

Unable to die, with her lover still slain and her children in danger, Cleopatra must battle the dark force within her urging her to drain others of their lifeforce and let loose Sekhmet’s seven children (plague, famine, drought, flood, earthquake, violence, and madness) upon the ancient world. What’s more, she also has to contend with the mortal threat of recently-appointed emperor Caesar Augustus and the three sorcerers he has rallied to fight the queen-turned-demigod. Drawing from Egyptian mythology to contextualize various familiar vampire tropes (the aforementioned bloodsucking, aversion to sunlight, and weakness for silver), Queen of Kings reinvigorates the vampire mythos through a historical figure who deserved to exist long beyond her mortal lifetime.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Queen of Kings on Amazon

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett

Sir Terry never met a trope he didn’t take the opportunity to parody, but his Discworld take on the vampire mythos is more love bite than going for the jugular. His Magpyrs embody the classic vampires, with all their subgenre trappings, but also are an example of how a supernatural race seeks to evolve beyond its bloody history and try something new. To be clear, these Magpyrs are still in it to drain humans dry, and they’ve developed cunning methods of doing so: a propensity for bright colors over drab blacks, the ability to stay up til noon and survive in direct sunlight, a taste for garlic and wine along with their plasma.

But the clash between the youngest immortals, who seek to overtake the mountain realm of Lancre as their new home, and dutiful servant Igor, who misses “the old wayth” (he’s a traditionalist down to the lisp), reveals a tension familiar to any long-ruling dynasty or established subculture: Change with the times, or adapt but lose what makes you unique? In struggling with this intergenerational dilemma, the Magpyrs find the perfect opponents in Lancre’s coven: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat, and Agnes—four witches who find themselves taking on different roles within the mother/maiden/crone dynamic as life changes force shifts in their identities. Between these relatable personal conflicts and a hall of vampire portraits that pays homage to Ann Rice and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Carpe Jugulum gently ribs the vampire subgenre rather than put a stake through its heart.

—Natalie Zutter

Buy Carpe Jugulum on Amazon

Do you have any vampire story recommendations that challenge the traditional tropes of the genre in interesting and diverse ways? Let us know in the comments below.

The post 11 Diverse Vampire Stories To Read Instead of Midnight Sun appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2DmueuR

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

8 notes · View notes

heanv · 5 years

Text

Never Not | Jisung

genre: friends!to lovers

warning:cursing, break up(?)

word count: 1k

requested by: @17caratshinee

song: Never Not by Lauv

In this world there are two kind of people- hopeless romantics, which can see a new person everyday and think that they are the most beautiful creature and the love of their life. And there come the realists which are on the other side, when every new person is just another fucking, ordinary person and there is no sparkle or love from the first sight. I don’t know what I believe in and I don’t know what you believe in but I am gonna tell you a story which is something in between.

So here is Jisung, seventeen, student in public school in California, just like you and me. And here comes the thing,you know that time in your life when everything is like just messed up and feels wrong. The moment when you are so caught in your little fights with friends and scares of losing them and being so messed up, that you just can’t find yourself anymore. As the time and the new event in Jisunfg’s life passed he was starting to alienate himself and build these spaces between him and the other people, going back to the memories he had and trying to actually find the list part of him in them. But you know what, that onlyconfused him more. One day after school and everything he decided to get away from the teenage cliché, pressure and to just get on the train and travel for a while. So he ran to the station and without knowing where to he is going and he took the first train to came. And there was this moment when he just feels like he had to sit alone ina place for two people.

So there he is, sitting and watching through the window when he heard someone talking ,

‘’Sorry for interrupting but is this seat free?”

It was a girl but not just some random girl ,it was one of Jisung’s childhood friends - Y/n. After years of games on the streets, sharing secrets and being inseparable they have started school and gone in different groups of people and styles. They have forgotten all about the past and this day at the train, this first sight connected them like something new, that they had never felt and at the same time like deja vu.

/‘No other magic could ever compare’./'

‘’Yes,of course’’ Jisung’’s cute smile greated her.

You talked about the lost friendship and how much they have missed spending time together.

‘/We were so beautiful,We were so tragic/

So there you were - Y/n and Jisunf smilingg and talking about their life now, the changes happening aroundand about every little thing that was pestering their minds at the moment. The train reached his last station and they understood that hours have gone in talking.

‘/Then you came, found me’/

Since this day, this train ride, you restarted your relationship just like in your childhood. And with every moment that you spent together ,the more and more you realized that something was different. There was this, magical feeling between you guys that was connecting tyou.You spent most of your Fridays together in a cozy cafe,using one pair of earphones and sharing each other’s taste on music with two hot chocolates next to you.That time felt like magic , as if your souls were connecting.

/There is a room,In my heart with the memories we made/

So if you are one of the romantics this is probably what all your dreams look like. You believe that this what you and Jisung had at this moment and its going to be the only thing that matters. Love is something very cruel. You never know how much something, at this case someone you have means to you before you lose it.

We live in a society where the most important thing for people is the money and the carrier. The world has flipped, forgotten about the essentials of caring and loving. It has become a world in which we starve for success and being at the top in the work we do.

This is what happened with Jisung and you. You were perfect for each other and had that flame and energy which, even in the gloomiest day, made you positive and made you guys happy. But you know it had been two of the best years of you lives and you were already nineteen. Both of you had to r separate your ways again. Jisung is going to England and you to Germany. The three months summer holiday were slipping away so fast in preparing for college. These months you started alienating,knowing that after so little time everything is going to end so eventually stopped texting goodnight, going out every day and everything ended without actually anyone to say anything. This is how your story ended.

Here is Jisung, in England with all there new people and places. Everything started good for him, he was at the top of the class. And was absorbed from the stuff that they were learning. After some time and some short relationships with girls from his class he was lost again. Again the same situation from the last year. He started failing and the only thing he could think about was You. No other eyes were shining like yours, no other smile had this kind of beauty and most of all there was no other person that was better than you.

He missed you, he missed you so much he couldnt even bear the pain that kept him wide awake in the late hours of the nights.He wanted to call you so much but he didnt know if you are gonna pick up and if you pick up what is he supposed to tell you? That he wants you back? That he is sorry he didnt said anything and left as if your relationship havent existed or ask you why you did exactly the same thing?

/There's no way I could ever forget/

Eventually he did it. You picked up immeadiately followed up by a minute or two of silence.

“Hi” the way your voice sounded on the phone made his heart ache.

/For as long as I live and as long as I love,I will never not think about you/

“Hi” the only word that managed to escape of his month.He was shaking.That was you, his y/n,no other girl , just you. He smiled to himself hearing your breathing through the phone.

/From the moment I loved, I knew you were the one/

“I’ve missed you” you whispered .

/We were so beautiful/

He could swear you were nervous, he knew you too well. You missed him too, the thought made his heart skip a beat and the spark in his eyes lost long time ago, was shining brightly again.

/We were so tragic/

“I’ve missed you too.So much.You dont even know” he smiled to the phine hearing the little giggles of yours. The hope was back, the hope that everything is gonna be okay. And it was gonna be okay. He knew it.

/No other magic could ever compare/

masterlist

30 notes · View notes

tomshufflepuff · 6 years

Text

changed

pairings: peter parker x female!reader

requested: yes by @embrace-themagic,

“Hi there! I was just wondering if I could please send a request? The idea is a Peter Parker x Reader where either Peter is a bully and pushes the reader over the edge and she falls apart and he feels bad and tries to make it up to her, or he and the reader are good friends and he says a harsh comment about the reader to his crush and the reader overhears and he tries to make it up to her? So sorry if this is oddly specific and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to do it! 💖💖 xx”

word count: 10.8k go me for writing a fucking novel for my first imagine, so sorry if the read more tab doesn’t work :(

warnings: peter’s an asshole, angst, you need a hug, peter needs a hug, language, loneliness, please let me know if there are any others!

---- means time skip

-- means different location

-------------------------------------------

“Watch where you’re going,” a harsh shoulder bumped into Y/N, causing her to drop her binder. “Fucking moron.” The person muttered.

The teenage girl sighed as she leaned down to pick up her papers that scattered from the drop. Questioning herself for what seemed like the millionth time, what happened between her and her best friend?

Peter Parker and Y/N Y/L/N used to be the best of friends. The girl moved into the apartment above his when she was just five years old, her mother and father splitting up and going separate ways. Her mother wanted her young daughter to make friends, so did the aunt and uncle of the boy who lived on the other side of their wall. Y/N’s mom forced her to come with her as they introduced themselves to their new neighbors. Which was strange because they never really did that. But the pair saw the young boy and his uncle one day after Y/N’s mother got her registered into school. Her mother melted at the sight of the young, shy boy who hid behind his uncle’s legs after they stepped off of the elevator. Everyone knows how a mother’s heart melts when they see another small child. She just wanted to squish the boy’s adorable chubby cheeks but of course she didn’t.

As the girl and her mother walked by the boy and his uncle, Y/N’s mother gave him a small smile. Uncle Ben seeing the interaction as he waited for his wife to collect her purse and join him and the little boy on a walk to the park. He gave the young mother a smile and waved, Y/N’s mom returning the favor. The two dorks made eye contact, his shy brown orbs meeting Y/N’s exciting e/c orbs. The girl immediately flashed him a bright smile and a small wave. A faint red covered the boys cheeks as he clutched his uncle’s leg, a small no teeth smile evident on his face. Y/N’s mother unlocked the door to their apartment and Y/N bared a goodbye wave to the young boy. This time, he did wave back, a smile showing off his pearly baby whites.

Uncle Ben and Y/N’s mother saw the interactions between their little tykes and gazed at them with so much love in both their eyes. Her mother finally poking the girl’s shoulder and motioned inside of their apartment. Y/N frowned, not wanting to leave the young boy but her mother gave her a playful but stern glare. She let out a sigh of disappointment and gave the young boy one last smile before stepping into her home. Uncle Ben waved goodbye at Y/N’s mother before she did the same and shut the door.

Not long after that, Y/N’s mother met Aunt May as they were getting onto the elevator. The young mother frantically got on the elevator in their apartment building just before it closed, with the help of a certain, kind lady already in it. “Thank you so much!” Y/N’s mother rushed out as the doors closed. She was trying to catch her breath and just wanted to go home and rest as she hunched over from a hard day at work.

“Oh, it’s not problem.” The older woman smiled. “What floor?” The mother looked at the buttons on the console to see her floor number already pushed.

“I actually live on the same floor as you!”

“Really?” May beamed, a chuckle escaping her lips. “That’s something.” The mother nodded in agreement as she picked herself up and stood straight, her arm reaching out to offer a hand to the young aunt. “I’m Y/M/N, Y/M/N Y/L/N.” Her lips turned upwards ina smile despite the obvious tired state she was in. May reached out with a smile and shook her hand. “May, May Parker.”

After that, the women immediately became good friends. They both talked about their kids. Well, May’s nephew but he might as well be her son. The women tried getting their children to meet and become friends, taking advantage of the same age between the kids.

Peter at first joked about Y/N having cooties, to which Aunt May scolded him and Uncle Ben laughed. “This girl is clean, Peter. Don’t worry.”

How could the two not bond? They both loved science and mystery. Bonding over solving problems and reading science journals together while watching Star Wars and other Sci-Fi thrillers. Young Y/N took a liking to Peter right away. She was eager to meet new people and the fact that he loved a lot of the same things she did was a plus. They were both young, but loved to solve mysteries and puzzles while pretending to play house and kingdom at the park. Peter didn’t know how to feel at first, he was shy and very guarded. But something the happy girl’s spirit drew him towards her and he loved spending time with her.

And once memes became a thing, the kids would not shut up about it. Adding that to the long list of things they bonded over. And then hell broke loose for May and ben Parker along with Y/N’s mother when Vine became a thing. It wasn’t a bad thing though, they just quoted and copied a bunch of stupid and corny vines every single day. They did hardcore parkour for about a week until Peter ended up spraining his wrist and Y/N broke her arm at the park.

They grew up together and went to the same schools, sharing classes together every year and annoying every teacher they shared together in each class. Some of the teachers would never admit it, but they found the pair endearing and absolutely adorable.

Peter was shy growing up, but around his best friend, he didn’t hide one part or detail about himself around her. He was happy, joyful, carefree, just enjoying his childhood and his teenage years with his best friend by his side.

But after his uncle Ben died freshman year, he changed. He was no longer carefree, he no longer had a spark in his eyes when he was surrounded by the people he loved. He felt dull, empty. For Uncle Ben was like a father figure to him. Y/N understood that everyone deals with grief differently, and that’s completely okay. She were there for him as much as he’d let her. Aunt May too.

Over the first couple of weeks following his uncle's death, he allowed his best friend to be there for him. He let her comfort him, he let her try to cheer him up with movie marathons, food and corny jokes, especially old and outdated Vines. He called her every time he needed someone, and she were more than willing to be there for him and help him get through this.

But after a month, he completely shut her out.

Y/N thought it could’ve been a part of his grieving process. Instead, she checked in on him once or twice every other day, instead of five times a day. He needed space, he needed some alone time, which she understood completely. But she also asked aunt May how they were both doing every single day. Aunt May never told Peter though, sensing something was off between the two teenagers.

He also seemed to be working out. Y/N noticed his growing muscles under his usual sweater and jeans. The arms that once held her in tight hugs were more stiff and buff. Sure, she thought he was already beautiful and gorgeous. Now, now she thought he was hot, looking like the typical high school jock. But she wished he didn’t matter how much he was pleasing to look at. He was just fine before. But her and Aunt May figured that he was working out to distract himself, and/or stress.

But then Peter stopped hanging out with Ned. Oh Ned, his brother. Ned was someone the two best friends met when they were all in middle school. Flash Thompson was giving Ned a hard time, so Peter and Y/N defended Ned. Peter with words, Y/N also with words, but also her fist when Flash made a comment about Ned’s weight. Y/N got detention, but she didn’t care. After detention, she saw the two boys waiting for her on the bench outside of the detention room. The three of them instantly becoming a trio.

Ned, Y/N and Peter went to each other’s homes frequently. When one of them came home every day from school, the other two followed. They all had movie nights every Friday during the school year. Ned and Peter picking Star Wars 99% of the time it was their turn to pick a flick. Y/N joked how she was getting tired of Star Wars, which caused the two boys to playfully shun her until the movie was over. She started making them watch Harry Potter, them complaining but both ended up loving the films almost as much as Y/N did.

But around the same time Peter started avoided her, he avoided Ned too..

And he started hanging around people like Flash Thompson.

That was the thing the now duo didn’t understand the most. Flash picked on all three of them, but he always seemed to have it out for Peter more. Taunting him, making fun of his name, how he dressed, how he acted, just using any information he could find to turn and use it against Peter.

Now, Peter waltzn along the halls of Midtown High with Flash. They taunted their fellow classmates as they passed by them. Whether it was mocking something they said, tripping them, pushing them against a locker, judging from afar you name it.

Sadly, Ned wasn’t with the tired girl today. Of course, Y/N was sad he wasn’t there, but also thankful. Thankful that he wasn’t here or else Flash and Peter would’ve been assholes to him too.

She continued on picking up her papers. She silently thanked the universe for being on her side today. In the past when Peter did the similar thing to her, the mess seemed to get larger. She would lean down and try to collect more papers, while the ones she already retrieved fell out of her arms and onto the floor again.

Y/N sighed as she stood back up from your knees, tucking her hair behind her ears and meeting eyes with Liz Allen. She gave you a sympathetic smile with pity laced behind her enchanting brown eyes. Liz was also popular, but she wasn’t your typical cliche of a popular teenager. She was kind, patient, caring, easy to talk to. She welcomed the three of you to school at your orientation freshman year, Liz becoming an acquaintance to the three fo you.

She knew how inseparable the trio were. Especially Y/N and Peter. Anyone would be able to spot the certain look they had in their eyes whenever the other was in the same room or mentioned. Ned became annoyed with the two as they fell for each other but were too oblivious to the other’s feelings and too stubborn to accept that the other felt the same. The way Peter held her in his arms whether it was a hug or them cuddling, the way she would give him a wide and loving smile each time she finished laughing at a stupid joke he told, the way they would act, already extremely touchy and needy for the other. There were so many little things their peers would notice, especially the larger and more obvious things.Liz felt sorry for Y/N and Ned, but also for Peter. She knew that wasn’t the real Peter Parker. She knew he wasn’t an asshole who hurt others and found joy in it like Flash did. She wished he would just cut the stupid act as did everyone else who knew him before he changed.

Y/N was always jealous of Liz when Peter revealed to you and Ned that he had feelings for the upperclassman girl their first year of high school. But she could never not like Liz because of stupid jealousy, plus Liz was actually a good person. Ned noticed the jealousy too. She told Ned of her feelings she harbored for her best friend with deep brown eyes and chestnut colored hair. He wasn’t surprised, though. Everyone noticed her affections towards the kind boy. Everyone, except for him.

Y/N didn’t know how to react to Liz seeing that. The pitiful look making her blink back tears as she looked at the ground and quickly shuffled to her next class. Thankfully, that class not being with Peter Parker.

----

Lunch time rolled around and she sat by herself today. Well, sort of. MJ was sitting across from her, but she was silently eating an apple and reading a book. She were used to that behavior from her for a while now. Y/N and Ned befriended MJ shortly after Peter ditched the pair, her actually being the first to approach them both. Noting how observant she was, she pointed out Peter turning into a douche and offered to be there for her and Ned. It was weird in some ways. MJ didn’t know how to deal with emotions, or how to help someone deal with sadness. But it was still very kind of her. She tried her best to give the duo advice and distract them from Peter’s newfound attitude.

Peter Parker sat at the table ten feet ahead. Laughing with Flash over something that was most likely stupid.

There was a sense of loneliness and despair in Y/N’s e/c eyes. She gave him a longing look every day during lunch at least once. The brown haired boy catching her a couple of times, using that to make fun of her.

MJ took a bite of her apple and glanced at Y/N above her book, her brown eyes immediately meeting her sad ones. MJ rolled her eyes, already knowing who the hopeless girl were looking at. She glanced over her shoulder at Peter laughing. She knew it was fake, she knew Peter wasn’t happy. But she never chose to talk to him about it. Him not being worth her time, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t try to tell Y/N that.

“You know,” MJ paused as she turned back to her friend. Y/N shook her head, snapping out her gaze on Peter and looked at her. “He’s faking it.”

“Michelle,” Y/N sighed, shaking her head and looking down. “Why do you keep saying that?” MJ already knew she was going to ask that. She was already to fire back, but Y/N said her full name instead of her nickname. That meant that she just wasn’t in the mood.

“Y/N,” she sighed, setting her bookmark in her book and putting it on the table and sat up. Y/N’s sad e/c eyes met her sympathetic look. “Peter isn’t happy. I can tell. You know how well I can read people. Even that jackass,” including that remark to make her laugh, and it worked. “He isn’t truly happy. He doesn’t have the, twinkle,” MJ shuttered at the cliché word making her chuckle again. “in his eyes that he had when he was doing something that made him happy. Or around someone who made him happy.” The pause directed at Y/N, causing a redness to appear on her cheeks but she shook her head as quick as it appeared and MJ continued. “Every time I see him push or tease a kid, he frowns. He frowns when Flash isn't looking. He’s so disappointed in himself for swooping down to that level and becoming someone who he hates. But he continues to do it. He continues because he’s lost and he’s fighting himself to stay this way. Something’s making him to hold back. That frown, that look of despair on his face every time he does something contradicting with his old self, he’s not happy. It’s an act. He’s faking it.”

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this. But this is the first time she went into this much depth. Y/N’s heart was hopeful each time she mentioned this. Maybe some of the old Peter is still inside of him. His heart and his mind having an internal battle on how to treat other people, this occurring after Ben died and he got his Spider-Man powers. He didn’t know how to process his emotions, it was too much. Thus started the battle between his mind and his heart, neither side surrendering.

The girl who was once friends with a now superhero never spoke her true feelings for her old best friend, to the girl sitting in front of her. MJ was smart and very clever, she already knew. So Y/N never bothered to say it out loud to MJ.

“You got all of that just from looking at him a few times?” Y/N joked as a small grin formed on her chapped lips.”

MJ rolled her eyes playfully, her mood brightening because her friend was cracking a joke in this hard time. “Well duh. I’m a fucking genius, you already know this.” Y/N’s smile widening as she shook her head as MJ continued. “Plus I heard him frustratingly scolding himself this morning after he purposely knocked into you once him and Flash separated.”

That was something Y/N never heard before, and she didn’t want to believe it. But MJ wouldn’t lie to her, especially on something like this.

Y/N shook her head in doubt. “I’m just done with this. I’m tir-”

“Hey there bitch!” A voice yelled at her.

The voice coming from the boy her heart melted for.

The voice coming from the boy who she would do anything for.

Even if he was a dick now.

The voice coming from Peter Parker.

And he was walking towards her.

He strolled towards the table the girls were sitting at, jumping on top of the bench MJ was sat on, landing right next to her on his bottom. He made himself comfortable as he wrapped an arm around MJ. She flicked towards him in disgust, elbowing his side in annoyance. He grunted, trying to play it off as a playful groan while clutching his side with his hand. “Wow, MJ, I’m hurt.”

“Shut the fuck up, Parker. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Woah, woah,” he held his hands up in defense. “Just here to say hello.”

His statement caused MJ to roll her eyes and before she could say something, he spoke up again. “And to say something to her.” His head whipped to Y/N so fast and he smirked at her. Her eyes widen, scared of what was going to happen while looking into his mischievous eyes. MJ stood still, not knowing what to say.

“Look, Y/N,” Peter sighed as he put his arms on the table, leaning on them. A serious look was on his face as he scrunched his eyebrows. This small action reminding her of the old Peter, her Peter. How his eyebrows always furrowed whenever he was trying to say something or figure something out.

But that quickly changed. MJ not being surprised at all.

He bursted into laughter. “What is with you?!” He shouted amusingly. “Why do you keep on staring at me? It’s creepy. It’s weird. Not to mention, with a longing look like I just ran over your dog and stomped on your heart. Seriously?! Are you that pathetic? Are you that lonely? Are you that sad that I left you?” He was throwing his head back in laughter as he kept on asking.

MJ’s jaw clenched as she burned holes in Peter’s head. If looks could kill, he would be worse than dead. But since looks can’t kill, she settled for shoving him off of the bench.

His ex best friend was already trying your best to not to break down right there, her heart already hurting and Peter was just making it worse. Y/N only gasped when MJ pushed him off of the bench. Of course she were worried to see if he was okay, the\ old part of her who is still his best friend was urging her to get up. But she couldn’t move. Her feet were glued to the ground, her bottom feeling like it fell asleep, her eyes looking at the scene in front of her with warm tears she was trying oh so desperately to hide.

Peter groaned and sat up, holding his head while sitting flat on his ass. But he jumped back up easily, like he tripped but caught his footing. And he backed up a few inches because he was frankly a little scared of her. Who wasn’t?

“Wow, that hurt.” He mocked as he looked at MJ, fear evident in his eyes that only she noticed and she quirked an eyebrow at him and smirked.

Peter rolled his eyes and continued, whipping his head just a smidge to meet Y’N’s sad e/c orbs again

Peter’s heart clenched, seeing his favorite girl in pain and especially knowing he caused it. He was so close to running to her side and pulling her into his arms. So close.

But he recovered. Hoping MJ wouldn’t notice his sign of weakness.

“Move on,” he growled at her. “Stop staring at me. Stop following me. Stop stopping by my house when I’m not home to talk to Aunt May.” She looked down, fiddling with her fingers. “Yeah, you think I didn’t know?!” The only reason he was because keeping an eye on her himself. May didn’t tell him. Why would she? Her nephew was hurting the girl who was his best friend.

The girl he was in love with since he first laid eyes on her ten years ago. He didn’t know it then, he was a little kid with a tiny crush. But over the years, that crush turned into something much bigger.

MJ stood up furiously and was about to storm towards him as he ran back to his table with Flash, who was watching the entire time and laughing.

“Don’t,” MJ heard her friend croak and she turned back to her. There was a new look on her face that Y/N finally allowed to reveal on the outside. Brokenness.

“Just,” she sighed as she blinked back hot tears and stood up quickly. “Just don’t.” She grabbed her belongings and exited the cafeteria faster than Peter could flick his wrist and shoot a web at her.

Liz saw what happened from her table. She saw as Michelle grumbled and grabbed her book. MJ stood up and grabbed her unfinished apple, walking quickly to Peter and Flash when they weren’t paying attention. She chucked her apple at Peter’s face, the red fruit hitting him in the eye as he groaned and clutched his head. Flash gasped and looked up at MJ, seeing her smirking in victory and walking away. She was still angry though as she walked out of the cafeteria doors.

Liz shook her head in shame as Peter was groaning at his eye. She observed Flash trying to aid to Peter, quietly laughing to himself when Peter was closing both of his eyes in pain and leaning his head back with his right hand covering his right eye.

“Let-” Flash muttered as he was trying to stop laughing. Of course Peter knew he was, he didn’t need his new senses to guess. “Just take your hand off of your eye and let me see.” He managed to get out while trying desperately to stop laughing.

Peter rolled his left eye as it was closed and reopened it while putting his head back down, carefully removing his hand. He knew it was bad. He would have to go home early since he healed fast and the mark would be gone in less than two hours.

“Go get an ice pack man.” Flash laughed as he pulled out his phone and began to scroll through random things.

He didn’t need really need one. He needed to do something much more important before he went home so he grabbed his backpack and walked out of the cafeteria, already knowing where she ran off to.

Y/N sat in the library with her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapping around her legs. Her head was in her arms as her hair fell down her elbows. Quiet cries left her mouth as she hid in the one section of the library that no student walked into. Let alone the section she was in.

She was trying to hide her whimpers as best she could, good thing no one was really in the library anyways.

Y/N’s heart was trying to find out where you went wrong.

When did she do to cause Peter to hate her with every single molecule in his body?

What did she do to cause him to snap?

Why did things go so wrong when before then she was his shoulder to cry on?

For fuck’s sake, what changed?

For fuck’s sake, what will make him stop?

Peter entered the library, Y/N heard the door open but she just assumed it was another lonely student or someone who was going to study. He heard her cries, even though he was on the other side of the huge room filled with so many different words that could describe how they were both feeling perfectly because they couldn’t.

He heard her sobs, warm water beginning to blind his sight. But Peter couldn’t let you see that.

A heavy breath escaped his thin lips as he straightened himself up, wiping his tears that slipped out of hi brown eyes. He couldn’t let Y/N see him like this. He just had to apologize. He wanted to show that he didn’t want to, but he knew he did. That was something his heart and mind could agree on. But he couldn’t let her see that. He wouldn’t let her see that. The new him saying if he’s going to do this, he’s not going to show he’s breaking.

His feet carried him in the direction of Y/N’s cries. Even if his heart didn’t belong to her, his feet would still bring him to her. They always would. And right now, his legs were shaking as he walked closer to the Ancient Egypt and Ancient Rome section.

She was always a sucker for history, he smiled.

Peter’s brain stopped his motions right before he was about to step into the aisle. Another deep breath escaped his lips and he realized he hasn’t taken a single breath since he entered the library. He sighed and his heart finally allowed him to take another step, flinching when his eyes landed on Y/N’s figure.

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes scanned her over. He almost choked back another sob. Almost.

But he did have to blink back tears and wipe the ones that managed to escape his eyes.

The girl with a damaged spirit heard someone breathing and looked up, seeing the last person you ever wanted to see.

But there’s also a part of her that was glad he was standing, what felt like so close to her heart.

The two broken hearted teens didn’t say anything. Y/N’s gaze looked so, broken. And his gaze, well she don’t know how to read him anymore, not since he’s changed.

He was broken though.

Peter cleared his throat, his eyes never leaving her own as he walked closer to the girl he grew up with. But he stopped once he saw that she flinched away from him.

That broke his heart even more.

But he couldn’t let her see that.

So he sat against the same shelf as her, about a couple feet away with his legs out and his hands fidgeting on top of his lap.

Y/N was shaking, hoping that he wouldn’t notice that. Or her heart beating so fast, it felt like it was going to jump out of her chest and make grabby hands towards Peter’s heart.

But he did notice. And he did hear. His own heart feeling the same way. But his wouldn’t just make grabby hands towards her’s. His would get on its knees, begging for your love again. (If you’ve watched the short film, “In a Heartbeat” on YouTube then you get where I’m playing at lmao go watch it if you haven't because it’s so good and cute).

Y/N unfolded her arms from around her legs, but kept her knees tucked into herself as she fiddled with her fingers.

She did that when she were nervous or when she didn’t know what to do.

The habit was already known to Peter, and he was glad she never grew out of it. She looked so adorable when she was awkward.

Y/N could feel the deep brown eyes of the heartbreaker boy, giving her an intense look. His doe eyes not burning holes into her, but just looking at her calmly.

But it was also sad if she looked up at him.

“I uh-” Peter stammered out. “I just wanted to say that that was uncalled for-”

Her head whipped around to meet his haze. But a new expression was in her tired e/c eyes.

Anger.

“What?” She croaked out, hating herself for sounding so weak and internally scolding herself for it.

“What exactly was uncalled for, Peter?” The harsh and it made Peter wince. And she noticed, but instead of immediately checking to see if he was alright like she usually did, she let out a laugh. “You’re wincing? Why! You don’t have a reason to!” She said harshly. “What was so uncalled for, Peter? What is it that you want to apologize for?” Her tone wasn’t meant to be harsh. But she couldn’t help it. She was just done with this ridiculous act of his.

Of course he knew what she were asking. But he continued to act stupid and looked down at his lap shamefully. “W-what I said to you back in the cafeteria. It was uncalled for and rude and, and-” his arm went to scratch behind the back of his neck. A nervous habit he still had and let show. “I’m, I’m sorry.”

You almost laughed, almost. But that was harsh. Even though he has hurt you so many times these past few months, even though your heart was still pulling you towards his, you couldn’t get a laugh out. Your heart not wanting you to hurt him no matter how upset and broken you were. Because you never want to hurt it. Even if he’s caused you so much pain. You just couldn’t. That wasn’t who you were.

Y/N sat in a cris cross position and let out a heavy sigh, playing with her fingers, trying to blink back tears and using her hair as a shield so the young superhero couldn’t see her trying to hide her pain.

Thankfully, he didn’t that time.

“Why?” She squeaked, looking up to meet hs unreadable brown orbs. “Why now? Why apologize now? It’s not like anything has changed.”

That statement and her harsh tone made Peter break down even more, on the inside. He was also questioning himself that.

Why now? Why did he rush to her without thinking twice?

“Uh-I” He looked back down at his fingers. “I don’t know. I just felt like I had to apologize and quickly walked here after I realized what I had to do. For you.”

“Okay well,” the young girl sighed, not knowing how to respond to the last two words he spoke. Her stomach flipped in a good way, but she also felt like she was going to throw up from the confusion. “Thanks for the apology.”

Those words made Peter’s head snap up and look at his old best friend. Hope filled his heart and entered his eyes once again. Hope felt strange, foreign to him because it hasn’t been apart of his wellbeing for so long.

“But I don’t know if I can accept it.”

And just like that, the hope quickly vanished faster than what felt like the speed of light.

“I can accept it in the future, just not now. My heart, my feelings, are still hurt from everything you did and said. But I do feel that I will be able to forgive you someday. But not this second. I want to, but can’t. I hope you can understand that.”

Peter nodded understandingly as Y/N sighed and got up quickly. His eyes never left her figure until she grabbed her backpack and he looked down at his lap, hearing her footsteps fade

Peter leaned his head back on the bookshelf in despair. His eyes were burning with the familiar liquid now. The boy sniffled as he wiped them away, cursing himself for breaking down. He quickly exited the library and ran straight for the men’s bathroom.

Not seeing MJ see him rush into the room and wipe his eyes.

----

It was the last class of the day. Robotics. To her dismay, she shared this class with Peter, but Y/N enjoyed this class and tried to avoid him as much as possible. But after his apology in the library, her heart didn’t want to avoid him completely. She didn’t know if it was sincere and she didn’t want to think about that right now. But her feelings were pushing her towards the boy who still owned her heart.

“What happened in the library?” MJ asked as she plopped down in her seat across from Y/N, causing her to jump to little. Ned was in their group but he wasn’t there today. She gave her friend a questioning look, causing the brown haired girl to roll her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N. I already know that’s where you ran to and I hate that it took me until after lunch to figure that out. I saw Peter running out of it in a hurry, his eyes were red and he wiped his eyes as he went into the boy’s bathroom.”

Y/N couldn’t believe it. Peter crying? After the conversation they had? Surely MJ was mistaken. She almost asked her friend if knew what she saw, but MJ was right 99% of the time.

“Maybe, um, uh- do you think you could be mistaken?” She stuttered. MJ rolled her eyes and gave her a glare and you threw your hands up in defense. “I’m sorry! But maybe this is the 1% of the time where you’re wrong. Because he couldn’t have been crying, not after-” she paused and looked down at her lap.

“Did you reject his undying love for you or something?” MJ teased and Y/N gave her a playful glare and the girl rolled her eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

“No, we just talked. He actually apologized,” MJ raised her eyebrows impressed, but was going to deny his apology before Y/N interrupted. “I know, I know it’s weird. I know you’re gonna say he didn’t mean it. And I want to believe you. But the part of me that misses him, misses my best friend-” “The boy you’re in love with.” “Whatever.” MJ smirked and Y/N sighed. “I miss him. And that part of me just wants to forgive him and make things right, make this all disappear and go back to the way before all of this shit. But, I can’t trust him.” MJ put her hand on Y/N’s arm to comfort her as she continued. “I thanked him for his apology. But I told him I just can’t accept it right now. And I told him that maybe in the future I can forgive him. I just can’t right now.”

Y/N looked back up at MJ and she was giving her an intense look, showing her she was listening. “Good.” She lifted her hand from her friend’s arm. “I’m shit at emotions and helping other people with them. But you did the right thing.” She flashed you a small smile and you did the same in return.

Peter could hear every word shared between the two of them at his own table that was across the classroom.

School had just ended and that meant practice time for the Academic Decathlon team. Y/N always avoided Peter during your after school team meet ups. And he made it surprisingly easy. He barely even spoke to Flash during practice because he was very focused on the team and serious about team practices. Him being a mute and concentrating made it easy for them not to speak to each other.

But Peter still stole glances at the girl who owned his heart when she wasn’t looking.

Liz was getting her Decathlon coat from her locker, cursing herself for leaving it in there. “Hey Liz!” She heard the familiar voice and immediately rolled her eyes on the inside.

She turned to her left and flashed Peter a fake smile. She didn’t like him one bit. She did see him as a good friend the previous school year, but when he ditched his best friends this year and became a dick, she no longer wanted to be associated with him in any way.

“What’s up Peter?” Liz internally cringed at the fake chirpiness in her voice.

The sheepish boy flashed her a small smile, pain evident behind his eyes that she noticed.

He really wasn’t good at hiding secrets.

“I was um, just wondering” He stuttered as he played with his sweater. “If you wanted to maybe go to the movies sometime, with me? On-on a date?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Of course she knew he harbored feelings for her. She saw that last year but only saw him as a friend. Plus, she noticed he was in love with someone else.

She tucked her hair behind her ear nervously, “Um, that’s really sweet, Peter-” His face instantly dropped at her response, knowing what was coming next. “But, I just don’t see you like that.”

The new and cocky Peter took offense right away. “Why?” He demanded then saw she raised her eyebrows. “Wh-why? May I ask?”

Liz had enough with his fake attitude and rolled her eyes. “Seriously Peter?” Although, Peter already knew the answer. “Well one, you’re a major dick and a bully. You used to be so sweet, so kind and considerate to others, especially your friends. But then, this year you changed. And at first when you stopped talking to Ned and Y/N, I figured it was maybe a part of your grieving process and you just needed some space. But then you befriended Flash. Eugene fucking Thompson of all people! The boy who bullied you since what Ned told me, elementary school. And to make it worse, you became just like him, actually even worse. You abandoned your best friends, not to mention the girl who loved you with her entire heart, and you became a bully. You, Peter Parker, became a bully. That’s why.” She finished angrily as she slammed her locker door shut.

And of course, Peter had to fire back with something stupid. “Girl who loved me? You mean Y/N?” He said hopefully, but he tried hiding it of course but Liz still noticed.

“Yep, and the girl who everyone thought, you loved with all of your heart. But guess not.” She shrugged and she wrapped her coat around her.

Peter stood still, not knowing what to say or how to feel as he stared blankly at the locker next to Liz’s.

She couldn’t be serious? But that didn’t stop Peter’s heart from bursting with joy and a small smile to break out on his face. Most importantly, the twinkle. The goddamn twinkle in his eyes were back. He felt overjoyed, the girl he fell in love with since he first knew what love meant, loved him back? How? Why would she? He was just puny Peter Parker. Boring, plain, not interesting, and just an all around weirdo.

Oh Peter, if only you knew how much of that was untrue in Y/N’s eyes.

He had to cover himself up and get it together. But Liz noticed, only a fool wouldn’t notice his reaction to the possibility of his best friend loving him in the same way he loved her.

“You’re joking right?” He scoffed and Liz was so close to punching him in the face. For not only being an idiot, but for trying to cover his reaction up and bury it in the past. Past as in two seconds ago.

“You can’t possibly be serious.” Peter started laughing as Liz tilted her head at him and glared.

“Me being in love with Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N? Really? No! She was only my best friend. Key word, was. I can’t believe people thought I was in love with that girl? Above anyone else, people believed I had feelings for her? Ew, just, just gross.” He fake scoffed and Liz was deadass about to punch him square in the face, not caring about detention like she usually did. But, a figure caught her eye.

And it was the last person in the whole damn world who should be hearing him say these things.

Liz’s heart broke when she saw Y/N standing a few feet away behind Peter.

Liz knew the anger she felt towards Peter and the hurt she felt for the e/c girl, was nothing compared to how Y/N was feeling that moment and when she turned around, running away from the two.

Peter immediately whipped around to see the last person he wanted to her those hateful comments, running away from the pair, his whole entire being just completely breaking.

If he wasn’t completely done and broken this time. He sure as hell is now.

“You’re a fucking idiot. You better go after her, Parker.” Liz grumbled as she shoved Peter’s shoulder while walking past him.

Yeah he better fucking go after Y/N.

And he was going to.

Without thinking twice.

Tired of fighting the old him and his feelings for his best friend.

He was done fighting. He was done acting. He was done faking it. He was done acting like this was all normal.

And he ran after her.

----

Y/N didn’t go to the library this time. This time, her feet carried heart to the garden behind their school. It was small, cozy and comforting. The young girl loved it. She knew she should’ve went somewhere else. But her body collapsed onto the bench on the hard ground as sobs rocked through her stomach. She couldn't get up, she couldn’t go anywhere. She was frozen. Completely defeated and alone from the one person she thought would never intentionally hurt her.

Of course Peter didn’t check the library. Even though he treated Y/N like shit and abandoned her, he still knew her. Even if he wanted to forget everything about his old friend, he just couldn’t. He knew every fact about her. She never changed. Only he did.

She had many small areas on the school’s campus that she admired. But Peter’s improved legs did the thinking his mind couldn’t comprehend. And he felt like he was flying to the small garden area.

He heard her cries, the second time today making him hate himself more than he already did. She were laying on her back on the comfy bench. Using her hands to shield her face from the sun as she cried.

“Y/N-” Peter choked out as he saw her break. Anger flooded through the broken girl’s body. She was already hurt, ashamed, broken, but now, now she was angry. Now she livid. Not just at him, but at herself as well.

Y/N shot up from the park bench and stood up. What was the point of even hiding her face anymore?

“No! No- you can’t- you can’t just come here and talk to me with tears streaming down your face and a broken look in your eyes. You don’t get to do that, especially to me. Fuck you, Peter Parker. I hate you with every fiber in my being.” Her feet carried herself closer and closer to him as she said this. She would’ve said more. She almost called him a coward. Almost called him an asshole for what he did to not only her, but Ned too and everyone else he’s treated badly. The livid teen almost yelled at him in frustration, but she couldn’t. Her mouth wouldn't allow the harsh words to slip off of her tongue, no matter how true they were. But her finger pointing shamefully at Peter with every word that spit out of her mouth was just the icing on top of the well understood message. But she wasn’t touching him as much as she wanted to jab her finger into his chest, she couldn’t. And yeah, she didn’t hate him, but he didn’t need to know that as she walked past him angrily.

“Fuck it,” he cursed to himself as he turned and flicked his wrist towards the girl he loved.

Y/N felt a sticky substance wrap around her arm like a hand and she yelped as she was being pulled backwards.

She ran into the broken boy’s chest with a slam as he caught her in his arms, wrapping her in them. Y/N stared up and was met with the soft eyes she so absolutely adored. She noticed pain behind the captivating orbs now. She could usually spot it from afar but could never get a good look at them for the past few months. But being this close in proximity to him, not to mention his arms holding her like she would slip away at any moment, was enough to break her down more. She didn’t think she had any more left of her heart that could break. But seeing her boy broken, that ruined her.

Peter stared down into her e/c orbs that held so much loneliness and betrayal in them. He didn’t know what to do as she stared up at him blankly. Y/N was too tired to fight him, so she collapsed into his arms, her body loosening and completely letting herself fall into his embrace and he caught her.

He always caught her.

She leaned her head on his chest with tears running down her gorgeous face. Her best friend put his chin on top of her head. Peter took in her shampoo scent and he sighed, feeling like it’s been an eternity since the last time he inhaled her.

Tears were soaking Peter’s shirt, but he didn’t even care a slightest bit. He cursed himself in his head. For hurting her, for leaving her, for betraying her, and for breaking her heart. She was fragile but also strong. Peter has only seen Y/N cry this much once when her grandfather died. He was there for her during her time of mourning and was always there to be her shoulder to cry on. He was always there to make her smile. But now, he caused her this much pain. And he was never there for her. He just added onto the pain.

Y/N kept on muttering curses at Peter but she was so choked up, he could barely make out what she was saying.

He pulled away from her a little, causing her to look up and meet his chocolate colored orbs. His smooth, warm hands met each side of her face as he gently held her like she was porcelain. “I’m s- so sorry,” he spluttered out with fresh tears in amber eyes. “I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for the hateful words and harsh comments. I’m sorry for the mocking and making fun of you. I’m sorry for abandoning you and Ned. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m just-” he paused as he closed his eyes, causing the tears to fall out faster. He looked down in shame and took a deep breath. “I’m, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was going to question him about the webbing.

Was he Spider-Man? Did he make the webbing? Was he a copycat?

But there were more important things she had to discuss with him and question him about.

The broken girl shook her head as the devastated boy opened his eyes shamefully. “Why, why Peter? Why did you do all of- all of those horrendous things? Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you ever tell me what was really going on? You know I would’ve tried to understand and support you and be there for you,” she couldn’t help but raise her right hand onto the boy’s cheek. He immediately leaned into her touch with a soft sigh. “When did you stop caring about me?”

The defeated tone almost made Peter collapse right then and there. “I never stopped caring about, Y/N.” Peter croaked as he stared into her e/c orbs deeply.

“You said that earlier today, I don’t know if I can believe you or not now this time.” She looked down and their feet and Peter didn’t know what to say. He did apologize just earlier that day for one thing that happened and she didn’t know if he meant it, and he couldn’t blame her. Now he’s apologizing again, just hours later, but for everything. He didn’t blame her if she didn’t trust him or believe his words were sincere. He’s hurt her far too much.

Y/N sighed and wiggled her way out of Peter’s arms after he didn’t answer her for a couple of minutes. Well, she tried.

Peter snapped out of his gaze the moment she tried to wriggle out of his arms and he looked back down at her captivating, gorgeous face. He sore each time he looked at her beautiful face, he fell even more in love with her.

He just never showed it.

“Y/N please,” Peter pleaded as he tried to get her to look at him, and the h/c haired girl stared up at her ex best friend again.

“Peter, I don’t know if I can believe you.” She continued to squirm in his arms and Peter loosened his grip on her, letting her slip away.

She backed up about a foot from him before she was about to turn and run again. “Please just- just let me explain.” She hasn’t seen him look broken since his Uncle Ben passed.

She hasn’t seen him in this much pain since then.

She could see it in his eyes.

In that moment, she saw through his act. Peter didn’t try to stop her by forcing a fake glimmer or look of mischievous in his eyes. She saw that this Peter, was fake.

This Peter, wasn’t who he truly was or who he truly wanted to be.

This wasn’t her Peter.

She closed her eyes and let a deep breath escape her dry lips as she stood there still, giving him permission to speak.

“This isn’t an excuse for abandoning you. I just want to start off with that.” He said as he motioned closer to her but stopped once she saw her flinch away.

He didn’t try to hide the fact that that action hurt him.

“I got, these powers shortly before Ben died.” He said as he rolled up his sweater sleeves to show her small web shooters. “I’m Spider-Man.” She gave him a puzzled look. She may have looked broken, but she still looked gorgeous in Peter’s eyes.

“Okay, I don’t see how that made you want to leave me.” Her eyebrows furrowed, making her appear adorable to the young boy in front of her.

“I was bitten by a radioactive spider that day we went to Oscorp. I felt the changes inside me that night I got home and I woke up the next morning with a six pack.” He chuckled through his tears and Y/N smiled a little at him.

“Shortly after that, you became a little cocky.”

Peter cracked a smile at her small remark and nodded. “Yeah uh- not one of my proudest moments.” He scratched behind his neck and Y/N gave him a “duh” expression.

“I felt so confident with my new strength. But one night- I left the apartment and Ben, he-” He choked up causing Y/N to go into best friend mood and she rushed to the boy and hold his arm gently for comfort.

Even when he hurt her, time and time again, she was still there to comfort him.

“Peter, you don’t have to say.” She murmured as she gave him a kind gaze. He met her warm look and shook his head and looked back down at his feet.

“No, I uh- I have to.” Y/N didn’t bother to try arguing with him, she just rubbed his sweater covered arm. He was feeling cold, even in the sweater from the light fall breeze. But her touch on his arm made him feel warm again throughout his whole entire body and it gave him goosebumps at the same time.

“I left the house because of an argument I got into with Uncle Ben. He ran after me. I didn’t know he did. I wish I knew. I figured him and May would let me cool off but after the police showed up at our doorstep, I should’ve known he was going to worry about me and chase after my footsteps.” He took a shaky breath as a tear slipped down his cheek. Before he could wipe it with his sweater, Y/N put her hand on his face and rubbed his cheek, her thumb sliding underneath his eye to wipe it away.

She never removed her hand and Peter leaned into her touch once again as he continued on with the worst day of his life.

“I passed a robber along the streets. I could’ve went after him but I didn’t. It’s normal in Queens for people to get mugged yes, but I should've done something. Especially to him.” Another tear fell down his toned face and his best friend was quick to wipe it away. “Turns out, shortly after I avoided stopping him, Ben actually tried to.” Peter smiled at the thought of his generous uncle. The chance of a weapon being on a robber in New York, was about 75% of the time. But Ben didn’t care. He’d always put others before himself. Even if it was just some stranger’s purse. He was the real hero who made Peter into one.

But Peter’s smile quickly faded as he recalled the horrifying events from the worst night of his life. “Witnesses say he was trying to get the purse from a man in a ski mask, but the robber pulled out a knife, and he-” Peter choked and completely broke down to the ground.

His knees were already wobbly and that was the final straw.

And this time, Peter collapsed into Y/N’s arms.

She pulled her best friend into her chest, his head above her breasts as he cried into her Harry Potter t-shirt and he wrapped his arms around her figure. Y/N held his face in her hands as her best friend sobbed in her arms.

They stood like this for about five minutes. Y/N running her hands through Peter’s hair as that always kept him calm. His sobs started to get more quiet and she continued to whisper, “It’s okay, Pete, I’m here. I’m here, let it all out. I’m here. I’ve got you, Pete”

He missed the nickname that would fall from her lips.

“I’m sorry.” He said into her once he calmed himself. She shook her head and pressed a chaste kiss on top of his head. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Peter.”

He lifted his head up and stared at her with a serious look in his eyes. “Yes, yes I do. Uncle Ben dying is no excuse for me abandoning you and Ned. His death is no excuse for my behavior and who I’ve become.” He let go of his best friend and sat him but she grabbed his hand for support as he sat out in front of her with his legs out. “Him dying, my powers fucking with my emotions already and messing me up. Me changing. God, Ben would hate me so much of he were here right now.” He whispered.

Y/N had enough. Yes he did hurt her and he was right about his father figure’s death not being an excuse. But he wasn’t right about his last statement.

“Now you listen to me, Peter Benjamin Parker.” She grabbed his face in both of her hands, making his baby fat squish up a little and she smiled at his cute face. “Ben would never, I repeat, never hate you. He would be disappointed in your actions, yes. Like any father world be if his child did something wrong” She rubbed her pointer fingers along his cheeks to calm him down. “But he could never hate you. He would never even try to bring himself to hate you. May wouldn’t either.”

Peter looked down at his lap, Y/N’s hands till holding his face.

“Peter,” she whispered as he looked up to meet her pleading eyes. “Please believe me. That man could never hate you. That man could never not forgive you. He does not blame you for his death. He doesn’t hate you for who you’ve become. He could never fucking hate you, Pete.” She flashed him a small, beautiful smile.

Right then, Peter knew he’d be okay. He was repeating the sincere words the girl who he adored spoke in his head, over and over again. Her smile, sincere, bright and stunning, meant for him, he knew he would be okay.

“I just, I couldn’t deal with his death and let myself become cold. I didn’t want to be close to you or Ned, fearing that what happened to Ben would happen to one of you. Especially with being Spider-Man, I have a lot of enemies. And if anyone ever find out who I was and used you, Ned or May against me, I don’t know what I would do with myself.” She gave her best friend a sad smile as he continued. “I would rather have you both hate me and be safe, than be close to me and get hurt. Ben getting hurt without me even using my powers urged me to push people away. I became Spider-Man shortly after his death before I left you and Ned. I vowed to never let anyone, especially those I love, get hurt in any way. And I vowed to never think, ;Someone else will take care of it’ ever again. I thought by you and Ned close to me, would put you in danger and I couldn’t risk it. I’m so, so goddamn sorry, Y/N.”

“Peter, hey Peter look at me.” Y/N said desperately as he began to break down again. Peter looked deeply into the eyes he loved and calmed his breathing with long breaths with the help of her. “I forgive you, Peter. I’m so sorry I didn’t try harder with-”

Peter right away shook his head. “No, Y/N don’t ever blame yourself for a second. This isn’t your fault. I didn’t want to be close to anyone, but I ended up hurting you anyways too.”

“Oh, Peter.” Y/N cooed as Peter closed his eyes at the feeling of her warm hands touching him.

I don’t deserve this.

I don’t deserve her.

“I should’ve never said or do those awful things to you and Ned, especially you,” he cried. “There’s no excuse for the harmful comments or taunting or me pushing you around. And I hope you know that.” A look of pure sincerity was in Peter’s eyes as he reopened them to look into Y/N’s eyes. A small smile appeared on the girl’s face as she nodded at her best friend. “There- fuck.” He sighed as he shook his head frantically with a laugh escaping his lips. Y/N removed her hands from his face and Peter found himself missing her home feeling.

“I was in love with you,” he mumbled and looked up at her.

Y/N’s eyes widen. How could he be in love with her> Especially after all of his remarks made her think the exact opposite.

The confused girl furrowed her eyebrows. “Pete, what? How were you in love with me-”

“I still am.” Peter pleaded as Y/N shook he head and stepped out of his embrace while running a hand through her soft hair. “It’s one thing to leave because you wanted to keep me safe, but that I understand. Why would you hurt me by saying all of those cruel things to me?” She questioned in disbelief.

“You were trying just hard to be there for me like you always do. But I had to push you away somehow. That’s no excuse for me continuing on with it and becoming a dick and befriending fucking Flash of all people.” He stepped closer to her with every word he spoke. And this time, she didn’t back away.

His rough, warm hands met her’s and laced his right hand with her’s wanting to see her reaction. She almost made a comment about his rough hands. They’re usually smooth, but when he doesn’t take care of himself when he was going through a hard time, his skin became dry and rough.

“I was in love with you too,” Y/N whispered as she gazed up into his chocolate eyes. “And I still am. Even after all of this, I am still ridiculously in love with you, Peter Parker.” She chucked and a tera slipped down her cheek, Peter’s left hand going up to wipe it with his thumb like she did to him moments ago.

“You know one thing you said that really fucking ruined me?” Peter didn’t want to hear her answer, he would beat himself up more for every single thing he said that was hateful and mean to her.

“You made it sound like people assuming we were together, in love with one another, that it was just some repulsive thing you would never want to happen. Not only did my best friend hurt me, but so did the boy I feel so desperately in love with. Not only did I think he didn’t feel the same, but you were so disgusted by the fact of people thinking we have feelings for each other. And you said all of those- those gross things about me.” She shook her head and looked down. “You know if you didn't feel the same way, I wouldn't’ have been mad. We can’t chose who we fell in love with. We can’t chose who we have feelings for. I wasn’t hurt by that. Just you being repulsed at the slightest idea of us.”

Peter cursed himself inside his head while listening to her. “I know, I know and I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I don't’ know what came over me.” She looked back up into his honey eyes as he blinked back a tear. “I was trying to get over you and I figured dating Liz would help. I thought of I said those comments out loud, they would seem true. But they weren’t. The were the exact opposite of the truth.” Peter held her face in his hands.

She didn’t flinch away that time.

“I know it makes no sense, how I said I didn’t want anyone close to me because that would be outing them in danger. I needed so badly to get over you and just wanted to see if one date would Liz could help with that. But it wouldn’t even if she greed.”

“That sounds so stupid but understandable.” The girl chuckled through her tears.

A small grin broke out on Peter’s face. His best friend’s smile being the most contagious thing he’s ever come into contact with.

“Yeah. Especially how when the words came out of my mouth, I realized that even with one date, I’d be putting Liz in danger. I didn’t think it through very well.” The heartbreaker boy laughed.

“I just needed to get over you.”

Y/N gasped at him in shook and she swore to the universe that her heart stopped right then and there.

“I don’t know if I can do this though. Us.” Peter bit his lip as he looked down and back up at her, nodding his head in understatement. “I just- my heart is still trying to piece everything together. I don’t even know if I can be friends with you right now.” His heart broke and he looked at her with sad eyes. “Maybe again, soon. We can go back to everything as it was the first time we got into a fight.” Chuckles escaped both of their lips as they remembered their first feud. “We can slowly build our relationship back together. I just need time.”

Peter grabbed her other hand in his. “You can take all of the time you need. I’ll wait for you, Y/N. Even if we don’t end up giving each other our hearts. I’ll still be so grateful to have you back as my best friend. Let alone my friend.”

----

ew this was so gross fsefjhsfdf i might do a part two for y’all if you like. It’s going to be in the future and we’ll see if these two crazy kids end up together ;)

Please give feedback! Even constructive criticism, especially when I’m actually trying writing again after over four years :) Don’t be mean about it though please lmao

Until next time my loves

tagging some nice people: @tomsfireheart @suddenlysmittenxwrites @wndrlstvbz

1K notes · View notes

iraniq · 5 years

Text

River

It was a sunny and warm autumn day. My brother had found several buckets to drum at. I decided to have a walk. Mom had took us with a hippie group to have a last summer days travel around the country.

I walked in the nerby woods, saw a sqearl and chased it. It was so big and fluffy, then I lost her. But saw a rabbit, a huge one. I lost it around the river.

- Hey! - I heared a voice, a girl was standing on one of the big rocks in the river.

- Hey! - I waved.

- Are you lost?

- No... Are you?

- How old are you?

- Will be 8 the end of the year! - I proudly stated. Being old is important, you can do important stuff.

- So, you are basically 7! - she giggled.

- Yeah... But it's cool to be older.

- Why... - she looked unhappy with what I said.

- I will be allowed to do more cool stuff.

- Oh... Yeah, although my mom allowes me to do cool stuff now too. You know... I am 7 too. - she smiled.

- Cool! - I smiled too. - I am Jared. - she didn't answer, girls are always mysterious. - Be careful not to slip, you will fall in the river.

- So? - She looked at me annoyed.

- You can drown... - I looked around. - I will call for some of the grown ups.

- Oooh ... - she raised her hands in the air. - Seriously! Grown ups, why? ... Well I assume that's, because who you are as a person...

- What? - she said this like I didn't knew something that was obvious to her.

- I can't drown, I can swim. So... Jared! What do you want to do when you grow up.

- Well... It's a hard question...

- You said you will be 8, so... Technically you are older. I will be 7 in like.. 5 or 6 hours.

- Well... My brother joked we can make a band when we grow up.

- Oh really? What kind of a band.

- Rock band! - I proudly said. He had joker about it after one of mom's friends played guitar and my big brother drummed with him.

- Nice... - she jumped form one stone to another. - You should, you are great and you will ...

- How do you know? - this conversation got a little suspicious.

- I... Am... Had heard him drumming around the camp.

- Camp? - oh no, she was one of the kids who come to bully us.

- And no, I didn't came here to bully you. I just had heard him, also your mom has an amazing voice.

- Yes, she has, thank you.

- My mom sings nice too, although she don't think she does. But she never takes us to camps, she has fobia of bugs.

- Bugs are cool! You mom is odd.

- I said, she is having fobia! - she threw a rotten fruit at me. - This isn't a joke. How come your mom didn't educate you not to make fun of others...

- OK, OK! - I shouted. So she could stop throwing stuff at me - I am sorry, I didn't meant to be rude... Your mom seems nice.

- You don't know her... Yet!

- Well, she allows you to do cool stuff and sings, mine does this too and she is a great one.

- Yes... - she smiled again with this smile of knowing stuff I don't. - Promise you will think about the band. I will be your top fan.

- OK, I will think about the band. - I smiled.

She jumped from one stone to another, getting in the river. - Careful with the river... - I said and reached for a leaf from the ground.

- I am the river... - she said and her voice kinda echoed.

I turned right to face her, but she was gone... I ran back to the camp.

The alarm screamed.

- Jesus Fuc... - this wild dream again. I have it since a child. It appeares sometimes. And I always woke up in cold sweat. To be honest I had no idea how this dream appeared. But it came to me as a vision, when I was a teenager and my brother asked me to make a band with him, this kinda pushed me into it. Like a memory, that I wasn't sure is real or only a dream.

I gathered myself and got ready. My youngest daughter had a birthday today.

- Morning love. - I greyed my beautiful wife, she was humming a melody. I always compliment her singing, but she rarely believes me.

- Hi, sweetie. - she said kissing my cheek.

- I had this dream again, remember the one I told you about. - I scratched the back of my neck, passing her the juice.

- Oh... - anything I can do baby?

- Was odd. No, it's fine. - I smiled.

My youngest daughter appeared.

- Oh, her highness... - my wide teased. - What you did again? Erma... Don't give me the "I know an obvious think you don't know" look.

I looked at her mischevios smile. I froze. She was the girl from my dreams... I had always see her face in my dreams... How come I didn't realized it was her all this time. She even wire the same clothes... The river... And... Actually she is named after a river! How...

- Hey mom. - she slipped something in her mom's hand.

The older one hugged her dad, currently sitting on a couch, probably oblivioned, by the fact his little girl will be 7 in 5-6 hours. Kissing his forehead. She hugged him, looking judging at her younger sister.

- Grandpa disliked when you use it. - she whispered.

- Shush, dad needed a push.

- What is it love? - I saved him form his offspring.

- I hear this odd buzzing sound again. It must be in my head only. - he was troubled and his mind was wondering.

- Yeah, all the genius people are kinds nuts. Chill, it's normal.- the older one laughed, and hugged her dad, she had this power to calm him down despite of how huge his troubles were, and the yonder one... Let's just say she just started being the one to push him the right way.

- Kids, quit bugging your dad.

The small blue key is now safe in my pocket. There was an echo of the blue time machine dematerializing in the closet.

----------

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @sougie @itsmeauntie @echelongaga @cadeathens @fanalityfiction @cleoleto @elliegrace139 @esoltis280 @lylabell2013 @lady-grinning-soul-k @b-chocolatelover @inas-cubbins @mj-isback @professionally-crazed @darthjokerisyourfather @50shadesofjaredleto @gottalovetheletos @thathipstaninja @marsmelegi47 @gemma60 @pandaliciouz @lostnorthofheaven @jaseminedenise @jaredsechelon09 @brightlightsfanficiton @batsnspiderz

If anyone wants to be added or removed from my list, let me know 😛

#jared leto #jared leto imagine #imagine jared leto #jared leto one shot #erma gaia

19 notes · View notes

hqnessa · 5 years

Text

year in review - 2018

001. What is your proudest accomplishment of this year?

Definitely everything that’s happened with Riverdale. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, and it’s the biggest one as well. And being ask to come back as a series regular was the best thing that’s happened to me professionally ever.

002. What is the biggest life lesson you learned this year?

To not run from the things, or people that scare you. It does more harm than good. It’s always worth taking the leap of faith despite the fear.

003. What is one relationship (can be friendship) that has helped you survive this year?

There’s two that have changed me as a person this year, and the two people that I wouldn’t be me without.

Skeet ( @ulrichisms ), you’ve given me the type of love and understanding that I didn’t think was possible. And even though I tried resisting it for a long time, you never truly gave up on me or us. I love you, and I’m so proud and lucky to be yours.

My Natty Ice ( @itsnataliadyr ), you’re my rock, my sounding board, and my soulmate. I don’t think I could have made it through the year without you, and it’s crazy to think that we didn’t even know each other when 2018 started. We met and you instantly became my person. I love you so much.

004. Who or what do you need to let go of in order to make next year even better than this year?

I need to let go of the fact that I have no control over what happens with Toni on the show or how much screen time she gets. I’ve really let that bother me for the first half of this season, and I’ve made some comments or liked tweets that I probably shouldn’t have.

005. What did you do this year that you’ve never done before?

Does sleeping with a woman count? Technically, I slept with two women this year but prior to 2018 I hadn’t ever gone that far before. I always knew I was bisexual since I was a teenager, but I hadn’t actually been with a woman until this summer.

006. What are three resolutions or goals you want to make happen next year?

I want to go on more auditions for projects during hiatus and continue to expand my career.

I want to get myself really settled into my life and my future, especially with my relationship. Getting over that fear and showing both myself, and Skeet, that I’m ready for everything with us and build this together. @ulrichisms

And traveling more. Whether it be for more conventions to meet fans or for vacations, I just really want to see more of the world this year.

007. Where did most of your money go this year?

Flying back and forth between LA and Vancouver, and paying for both apartments.

008. What song will always remind you of this year?

In Case You Didn’t Know - Brett Young

009. How will you be spending the last day of this year?

Hopefully in Costa Rica with my baby. @ulrichisms

010. Who is the best new person you’ve met this year?

Definitely Natalia. My life changed because of that girl, she’s the best friend anyone could ask for. @itsnataliadyr

–

001. What relationship (can be friendship) has been the most fun to write for your muse/s this year?

I’ll do the IC questions for each character, but I’ll answer these for all three so I’m not having to do it twice.

I’ve gushed about her relationship with Skeet and friendship with Natalia up in the IC questions, and while I would love to gush about them some more, I think I’m going to give this one to Laura’s Tom. Writing their friendship has been fun and hilarious since the beginning when they were planning on doing a partners in crime movie and it’s even funnier now with Vanessa pretending to not like him because she’s protective over Natalia. I really enjoy their friendship a lot. @hollandjpg

For Eliza, since I’m going to talk about her relationship a lot when I do the IC questions for her, I’m going to have to give this one to her friendship with Julianne. It was an unexpected friendship, and it’s easily become one of my favorites that I’ve ever had on her. They mesh so well and just bring me so much happiness. @julcshough

And the same goes for KJ, I’ll talk about his relationship in a separate post, so I’ll give this one right to his friendship with Lili. They’re basically connected at the hip half the time, and I love how much their friendship resembles mine and Becca’s a lot of the time. They’re just this pure friendship that’s really rooted in how much they love each other and want each other to be happy more than anything. And I love getting to write with Becca when it comes to them. @liliisms

002. In what ways do you connect to your muse/s?

Weirdly enough, I don’t really feel connected to Vanessa in many ways other than our love for dogs and Choni. She’s probably the muse that has the least amount of qualities I identify with that I’ve ever played. And it’s been fun, because it’s challenging and definitely out of my comfort zone.

Eliza is the muse I probably connect with the most, especially Eliza before Alycia with her fears of commitment and feelings. And her love of Food Network and being lazy, definitely from me. It’s been fun to write the change in her thanks to her relationship and really flesh her out, and watch her mature in ways that I myself can learn from.

KJ is similar to me in the way that I also have that childlike humor and spend most of the time just trying to make people laugh.

003. What’s your favorite category to write for your muse/s? (angst, fluff, smut, etc.)

Definitely fluff, it’s where I thrive but I do enjoy the angst as long as it doesn’t become excessive or unnecessary drama just to create the angst. And I’m not the biggest fan of writing smut, so I don’t do it as much as I do fluff or angst.

004. If you could give your muse/s one gift, what would you give them?

Vanessa: I’d write the scripts of Riverdale and give Toni more importance.

Eliza: Babies. All Eliza wants is babies and I’d give her all the babies.

KJ: I’d give him and Gigi more alone time together.

005. What was your favorite event/moment/memory in HollywoodlandHQ this year?

Definitely the trip to Greece and the earthquake! I think that was so much fun, and a fun, creative way to pair people up.

006. What muse/s have you enjoyed most seeing on this dash this year?

Anyone who knows me should know that I’m the number one Granielle fan in the world, so I’m constantly stalking the two of them and just pretending like Colton is there twice a week for a three way cuddle session. @theflashgrant @hyfdanielle

007. What is your favorite thing your muse/s have done this year in the group? (can be in the real world or what you made up)

Vanessa: Can I just say bringing her into the group in general? She’s such a different type of character for me to play, and I’ve loved being pushed to different levels while creating for her.

Eliza: Getting married, for sure. I’ve been playing her for years now, and to see her finally get her happy ending meant the world to me. She’s the muse I’m the most attached to so it was a very emotional event for me.

KJ: The unexpected pregnancy, without a doubt. It’s changed both him, and his relationship with Gigi, in the best of ways and it’s allowed me to mature him and have him grow in ways that most 21 year olds aren’t having to do. Sadie is the best ship partner in the world, and I’ve loved the way we’ve worked together to make their relationship together and as co-parents into something beautiful but still fun. And they’ve kept that same charm and chemistry that they’ve had together since the first day we started writing together. @gigihqs

008. What would you like to see in HollywoodlandHQ in 2019?

More events to pair people up randomly, it seems to be a popular idea and it’s one of my favorite things as an admin to do because I love seeing all the new friendships that form out of those events.

009. What is a plot you would love to do with your muse/s?

Vanessa: I would love to just explore her relationship with Skeet more, and continue to build them up and have them grow together throughout 2019. @ulrichisms

Eliza: Babies, I just want mom!Eliza more than anything, okay. And to continue to build up the relationship with Eliza/Alycia/Addy. I’m already really attached to the three of them, and they’re just getting started. So I can’t wait to keep plotting and writing for them. @avyciataylor @addvkins

KJ: Again, I just really want to keep writing with Sadie and see where else we can take Gineti this year. 2018 gave us so much as ship partners, and I can’t wait to see what we do in 2019. @gigihqs

010. Tag somebody in the RP and say something nice about them. It’s the season of giving.

This is the one OOC question that I’ll probably answer on all three just so I can talk about several different people but for this one I’m going to focus on all of the admins. Both past and present.

Sadie, Katie, Bonnie, Becca, Sam, and Alyssa: The seven of us created this place, and it couldn’t have been done without each of you. I know that some of you aren’t admins anymore for your own reasons, but I just want you to know that not a day goes by that I’m not still thankful for all of the hard work and dedication you put into creating and maintaining this group. We’re the OG’s, and I love you all immensely. @ohlizzo @diannahq @hyfdanielle @liliisms @theflashgrant @xmaikamonroe

Laura, Ina, and Nikki: You guys may not have been admins since day one, but you’ve joined the admin team since then and we wouldn’t be where we are today without the three of you. You constantly put in so much work and effort to keep building this place into what it is. And all of is noticed and appreciated. I thank all three of you for everything. @sebffs @itsgenevievegnt @hcurly

Every person listed above are the reasons this group opened and is still open and thriving to this day. Being admins of a group this large is no easy task, there’s always so much work to do especially for events and all the fun stuff we like to do. And all of you are so important to me, and to this group. So thank you all, and I love you.

@hwlandhqgossip

#hwlandendofyear

16 notes · View notes

feminarrie · 6 years

Text

in bloom -- iii.

A beam of sunlight warms the left side of Levinia’s body, licking at the exposed skin of her shoulder and the profile of her face. Sunday’s are typically reserved for lie-in’s and catching up on any number of the series she’s neglected to watch during the week. But, the combinations of sweat that begins to bead on her forehead and the soft chime of her alarm rouse Levinia from her sleep. She rolls to her stomach, arm outstretched and searching for where she had set her phone the night before. Periwinkle painted nails are tapping along the wood until she finds the device, putting an end to the noise.

She’s slow getting out of bed, limbs still heavy and eyes bleary with sleep. She swings her legs over the side of the bed, toes finding the foam soles of her slippers before she slips her fit into them. The poms that are sewn to the top tickle her feet with the material that’s fraying at the ends.

The textured bottoms of the black slippers shuffle across the floor as she makes her way to kitchen. The noise of water bubbling and boiling, and the spring of a toaster soon fill the air as she begins making her breakfast. It’s nothing substantial, really—a simple cup of tea with some jam smeared on toast. Because despite the slow shuffling of her feet and long audible yawns, Levinia does have plans for the beginning of her day. A flower design show that had caught her attention when she had read the paper last week.

Levinia was eager to attend anything of the sort. To be surrounded by new inspiration and people that shared her same interest in all things botanical. The fact that it happened to fall on a Sunday was fitting. Despite having no concrete belief system, Levinia long held the belief that nature was a spirituality that she could align herself with.

She’s dusting crumbs from the table and into her hand when there’s a knock at her door. Her mouth twists to the side in thought, trying to figure out who could possibly be knocking at her door at nine in the morning. The storefront was closed, as it was every Sunday, and Bethan would never come over unannounced.

Pulling on a light cardigan that had been draped over the back of a chair, she’s walking toward the door. She’s sure to cross the fabric over her chest, holding it there with one hand while opening the door with the other.

“Mornin’,” Niall’s voice hits her ears before she’s even made eye contact.

She laughs softly at his chipper tone. He was an early bird, she knew. But, she had never really experienced it. Every other morning she had woken up to him and Harry, Niall was hungover and a right grouch because of it.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, taking the cardboard tray of drinks from his grasp and stepping aside to let him in.

Niall toes off black adidas sneakers and pushes them off to the side before he’s walking further into her flat. He’s dressed in a matching set of gym shorts and sleeveless top that suggests he’s been in a therapy session or perhaps on his way.

“Me only client cancelled today,” he says, “So, I thought I’d stop by since I was out this way.”

He’s picking up one of the cups from its carrier and offers it to her. It’s cold against the palm of her hands, but she gladly takes a sip of the drink that looks similar to a smoothie. She thinks Niall knows her well when the taste of coffee and caramel hits her tongue.

“Thought we could spend the day together.”

“Oh,” Levinia says, a slight frown settling on her lips. “I’m going to a floral design show.”

She feels slightly guilty for not dropping her plans to spend time with Niall. After he had gone so far as to buy her something on his way, but she’s too excited for the upcoming event that it quickly washes away.

“Don’t really know what that is, but sounds fun.” Niall says, “Mind if I tag along? I’ve got nothing else to do today and m’already here to see yeh anyway.”

Levinia hesitates for a moment. Not because she wouldn’t enjoy Niall’s company, but she’s unsure if he would actually enjoy himself—and she knows it’s no fun when someone is so completely engrossed in something while the other stands idly by.

“Don’t mind at all.” She says, running her hands through her hair—and she’s only just realized the state she must be in. “I just hope you won’t be bored.”

Niall rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his own smoothie. It’s something that looks thick with protein powder and her nose wrinkles at the thought.

“I’ll make my own fun if I do,” he beams. “I’ll make meself at home while yeh sort yerself out.”

. . .

Levinia pokes a pink tongue out at him, but matches his smile with her own. “You know where everything is. Won’t take me too long.”

Niall’s sat scrolling through his phone when Levinia emerges from her bedroom. Hair pulled back into a high pony and the same everyday, minimal makeup that has become synonymous with her existence. She’s rummaging through the small purse that was beginning to slip from where it was on her shoulder. Likely checking for the ticket she had bought a week prior.

Niall finally glances up from his phone and is met with Levinia’s bare legs. He knows that his eyes shouldn’t trail along them so slowly, as if he’s mesmerized, but he’s still mapping the distance between each freckle and mole until the hem of her shorts comes into view. His Adam’s apple bobs when he clears his throat, catching Levinia’s attention and bringing him back into reality.

“Sorry,” Levinia laughs, “Just making sure I’ve got everything.”

Niall shakes his head, “S’alright, I just had something in me throat. Headin’ out now?”

Levinia glances at Niall, clad in the same clothes he had arrived in and she raises a brow. There’s no judgement behind the gesture, but she had expected Niall to request to change into something more appropriate than gym gear. As if he’s heard the thoughts in her head, he’s opening his mouth to speak.

“Don’ look at me like that.” Niall says with a laugh and collects his keys from the coffee table. “We’ll stop at mine on the way for a quick change.”

. . .

The ride across town to Niall’s flat took longer than the five minutes it took for him to change. Though, when he emerges Levinia can’t help but heckle him slightly when she sees the circular glasses sitting at the bridge of his nose. She quite likes the way that they look on Niall--the way it frames his face and calls attention to the sea blue eyes that, lately, have one shone with happiness. A far cry from when they had first met. Even so, she knows that they lack any sort of prescription despite the fact that his short sightedness is almost worse than hers.

“Those might serve more of a purpose if those lenses weren’t just for aesthetics.” Levinia says when Niall’s ambling into the front seat of his car.

“Would if I didn’t have twenty-twenty vision,” Niall retorts, buckling his seatbelt and setting the car into drive to pull through a parking spot.

“Keep telling yourself that, Horan.” She laughs and turns up the volume of the radio from a soft hum to one that overtakes her quiet singing.

The atmosphere within the car is light and airy the entire way there. Laughter and talks of the excitement that bubbles in Levinia’s veins as they grow closer to the venue. Niall’s never experienced her quite like this. He’s seen her drunk and teary-eyed at videos of soldiers coming home to dogs dizzy and emotional with happiness. Seen her argue and wrestle with Harry for the television remote as if they were siblings. Niall’s even been privy to see her with her cheek rested against the cold porcelain of the toilet after she’s attempted to outdrink him.

But, he’s never seen her nearly jumping out of her seat with excitement. Niall doesn’t quite get it either. Even when he had followed Penelope into the florist shop and gave his opinion on one type of flower or the other, he didn’t understand the fuss. Flowers were nice to look at, don’t get him wrong. But, the excited static that was begin to prickle and pop in the air was not something he could entirely grasp.

Even so, he likes seeing Levinia so giddy over something...simple. Thinks it’s rather endearing how she’s prattling on about this flora and that one. Not that he understands a lick of what she’s saying, but he’s still nodding along with her words. She only stops her happy rambling when they are parked a block from the hotel that is showcasing the event. Likely because she’s clambering out of the small Range Rover and attempting to not trip over her own feet.

“Slow down, love.” Niall laughs, shutting off the car and stepping out from the vehicle.

Levinia nods, though the tapping of her foot against the pavement suggests she’s ready to take off toward the venue. It’s slightly childish, she knows. The way she’s having trouble sitting still and fighting the urge to dart off in the direction of the hotel. But, the thought of being surrounded by arrangements that she could only dream of making and flowers she’s only ever seen in home decor magazines, feels like it’s overtaking her.

She manages to keep it mostly contained. Her excitement only showing in the smile plastered on her face as if it’ll never leave and the extra bounce in her step. Niall’s simply sipping at the drink he had brought over earlier and keeping stride with Levinia as she walks. Not at all in a rush to get to their destination, just happy to be outside in the sun. Doesn’t even mind when the nape of his neck begins to sweat, his brunette locks trapping the heat.

“Oh,” Levinia says suddenly, “I’ll have to buy your ticket!”

She’s digging into her purse as they come to the garden of the hotel, finally retrieving her wallet only to have Niall wave her hand away as she attempts to hand the teenage girl the notes in her hand.

“S’fine, Ina. I can pay for meself.” Niall says, already exchanging a crisp tenner for the ticket.

“I know, but I was trying to be polite. You didn’t have to come with me,” Levinia says, handing over her ticket as they pass through yet another set of people. Niall follows suit.

“Nothing else to do,” Niall shrugs, a playful smile tugging at the corner of chapped lips, “Besides, you’re fun sometimes.”

Levinia doesn’t respond to Niall, too preoccupied with the wisteria flowers that brush against the top of her head and her cheeks as she walks through them. They hang from thick wire above their heads, shading the area, before opening up once again to the sunlight. Niall’s scanning the same deep purples and lilacs that Levinia is drinking in, but his eyes don’t shine quite as bright as hers.

He follows closely behind her though, as she looks at the arrangements that have swallowed the area--only a small amount of room for patrons to walk through. Levinia’s quiet as she observes each one, only speaking when she’s telling Niall to remind her of the names of certain flowers she’d like to grow in the shop. (He’ll try, but there’s little he can do when botanical names and those that they belong to begin to blur into one another).

There’s cherry blossoms that hang from branches, petunias that manage to remain unwiltering in the sun and humidity. Levinia’s eyes are alight with joy and soft with the peace she feels radiating from within, easing her muscles and warming her insides. And Niall stands only a few feet away from her, eyes transfixed as she glances up at the blossoms above her. A small, delicate hand reaches to touch the soft petals. She’s holding them as if they’ll fall from the tree at any moment and they very possibly could, but Niall’s never seen such softness embodied by a single person.

It’s like a scene out of some romance film. The overdone, impossibly cringy storyline of a boy falling for the quirky girl that was there to catch him when it all fell apart. But, Niall’s heart is thumping against his ribcage and the buzz of crowd in his ears is replaced with the sound of his pulse. His eyes can only seem to focus on the Levinia and the way the rays of light dance and shimmer across her face as they break through the flower canopy above.

. . .

So, maybe that’s why he has been quiet the whole ride back to Levinia’s flat. Choosing to nibble at the already chapped skin there instead of engaging with her. Levinia notices the silence, too, but says nothing. She figures he’s likely tired from spending the entire day in the heat because she certainly is. More than ready to return to the cool air of her small flat and enjoy the remainder of the evening before she’s forced back into reality.

“Thank you for spending the day with me, Ni.” She says, sitting up straighter as the arrangement of various pink and yellow flowers surrounding her shop comes into view. “Really glad you showed up unannounced.” She says, a soft and tired smile creeping onto her lips. “Genuinely, though.”

“Glad I did, too.” He says, parking alongside the curb and unbuckling his seatbelt.

Levinia’s unsurprised when Niall follows closely behind her when she’s outside the vehicle and headed toward the door to her apartment. She’s learned that, even when it’s broad daylight, Niall prefers to walk her to the door. Thinks he does it for Harry as well--just to make sure they’ve gotten in okay. She appreciates it, too. Because even with the can of pepper spray that has taken up permanent residence in her purse and a pretty mean right hook, she feels safer with Niall nearby.

She’s propped her foot against the inside of the door to keep it open after she unlocked it and turns to look at Niall. But, she hadn’t realized just how close he was until her chest brushes against his and their noses are mere millimeters apart. Levinia’s breath catches in her throat at the close proximity. She’s close enough to see the flecks of green and gold in his eyes. Niall’s searching her eyes, too, swirls of gold just around her pupil that he’s never seen until today.

His lips are pressed to hers and it starts out clumsy, Niall’s nerves having gotten the best of him. But, Levinia slots her lips with his and easily establishes a rhythm. A sense of dominance emanating from her that Niall has never been privy to, at least not in this sense. But, he’s relishing in it. Placing a hand at the side of her neck and brushing a thumb across her cheek.

They stay there for a moment before Niall’s pulling back with a quiet laugh.

“‘ve been wanting to do that all day.”

#in bloom #my writing #niall x ofc #niall x oc #niall horan #niall horan fanfiction #niall fic #niall series #niall horan fic #niall horan series #1dff #1d fanfic #1d fanfiction #one direction fic #harry styles

29 notes · View notes

lalka-laski · 3 years

Text

Do you or have you ever owned a cup with your name on it? I’m sure I did at some point as a kid

What’s the most expensive crafts tool that you own? All of my craft supplies are relatively cheap. The biggest waste of money though was the laminator I bought on a whim. I’ve had NO use for it since lol. Oh well.

Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? I think I did some kind of basket making class at the library when I was little? I did all kinds of arts and crafts classes.

How do you like Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis? It’s fine I guess?

Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, have you seen the biopic about him? Nope

How about the biopic about Tina Turner? Also no

Do you like the TV-show Frasier? I don’t think I’ve seen a single episode

What’s something you know by heart? Every Killers song known to man

What is something you’re greedy about? I’m great at sharing.... actually to the point that I could stand to be a little more possessive and protective of myself and my belongings. I think it stems from being the middle child in a house full of girls. NOTHING was solely mine, and everything had to be shared between us. How valuable does a coin have to be for you to bother to pick it up? I always pick up dimes ‘cause they’re messages from Heaven

What would be something you would wait in line to get for free? Pizza

Has there ever been a leak anywhere in your house? Uh yeah I guess?

Have you ever slipped in the shower? Surprisingly no!

Have you ever made any decorative crafts? If so, are they displayed? Mhm, quite a lot of stuff! I wish I crafted more often though.

Is it very humid where you are right now? Lol no, although it is unseasonably warm for February in Rochester. And by that I mean it’s like 35 degrees. HEATWAVE!

Do you have friends who you playfully flirt with? Nah

Doesn’t the Z in the Bzoink logo look like an L to you, too? What in the world?

Did you ever take that 5000 question survey that was circulating Tumblr? No, although I’ve seen it here and there.

Have you ever had to change a zipper in your favorite article of clothing? Oh no, that’s way too tricky!

Do you prefer buttons or zippers in general? Zippers I guess

Did your grandma have a box full of pretty buttons? Oh yes!

What’s the most exotic spice in your spice rack? Ha, I’m as white as it gets so none of my spices could really be considered ~exotic. That’s kind of a troublesome term anyways, is it not?

Do buttons tempt you to press them? Ha, sometimes.

Do you have a favorite television host? Anderson Cooper

What’s your opinion on celebrity chefs? I love me some Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay. Oh, and my girl Ina Garten!

Back when it first started, did you watch ANTM? Oh bitch I LIVED FOR THAT SHOW.

Did you know, that there was even a Finnish version of ANTM? I’m sure there were several international spinoffs.

Are you accident prone? It’s my middle name.

Have you ever broken something really valuable? Oh yes, quite often growing up.

What is something that you own, that has sentimental value? I’m a huge sap so almost everything I own has some kind of sentimental significance to me.

Have you ever had your own website? Oh yes What’s something that you finished recently? A whole freakin pot of coffee. And then I wonder why I don’t feel good...

What’s the smallest town you recall visiting? The town my grandparents grew up in

What’s the longest distance you’ve had to go to work or school? My first college was roughly an hour away, but I lived on campus so I wasn’t commuting.

Would you learn a new language, if you didn’t share one with your lover? Well that’s a moot point now

Do you have friends who are constantly tagging you in challenges on FB? Nah not really

When it comes to chocolate, do you prefer nougat, jelly or caramel filling? Caramel! Although solid chocolate is my preference.

Are you more concerned about winning than just participating? Nah, I’m not competitive and I don’t have much of a drive to win.

Has somebody you know taken their own life? Yes

Do you prefer onions, leeks or chives? Chives!

What’s the most adult thing you have to do every day? Go to work, I suppose. But I half-ass all my responsibilities and that’s not very “adult” of me.

What’s the most immature thing you like to do every day? Everything?

Have you seen the movie, Clue? If so, isn’t it fab? I actually don’t think so

Do your cheeks get flushed easily? Oh lord YES!

Are there any social cues you miss entirely? I like to think I understand social cues and norms pretty well. Certainly a lot better than some people I know... *cough cough* MY FIANCE

When someone doesn’t smile back at you, what’s your first thought? THEY HATE ME AND I’M THE WORST PERSON ON THE PLANET

Is there a person who melts your heart just by looking at you? Glenn

Have you ever had tom kha kai? No clue what that is

Have you, or anyone you know ever been rude to a server? I have not, and I absolutely don’t associate with people who are. Eat shit.

What’s something you’re opinionated and very vocal about? Plenty of social justice issues. Oh, and the very hill I will die on: MOE’S > CHIPOTLE. DO NOT @ ME ^When’s the last time you had to verbally defend your stance? Ha, thankfully I don’t associate with such low-lifes :P

Have you ever played BitLife? Nope

What’s something you regularly order online? Books, and all sorts of random odds & ends that I don’t need but can’t resist

Do you often make friends online? I did back in my teenage years, although they all remained exclusively online friends. We never met in person.

Do people ever try to get something from somebody through you? Wait what?

What do you think when you see a couple holding hands? Generally I think it’s cute. And I’m in no place to judge or comment on another couple’s PDA because me & Glenn are obnoxious lol

Is there anything you’re forced to share with someone else? Well as I said earlier in the survey, I grew up forced to share everything with my siblings.

What’s something stripy that you own? I think I have a striped shirt, and that’s about it. Oh, maybe some socks?

How about something polka dotted? Again, socks.

What is something you find absolutely appalling? Saliva

Do you like elevators? I don’t dislike them

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say “midnight madness”? I’m blanking

When you’re angry, does it ever get physical? No never. Well, maybe I’ll punch a pillow or something just to relieve my aggression but that’s it.

What do you do, when you’re immensely happy? Squeal!

What made you scream out loud the last time you screamed? Who knows, I’m always getting scared and startled by shit, so it could’ve been anything!

Can you hear your neighbors through the wall? Yes, our downstairs neighbor and his lady friend have very entertaining arguments. Glenn & I literally lay on the floor to listen because we’re just that immature and bored. (To be clear: the fights are never actually serious!)

What is something that frustrates you to no end? My own anxiety, my lack of drive, my clumsiness and absent-mindedness...

Do you wear shoes indoors? I hardly even wear shoes OUTDOORS.

Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? Jim Gaffigan is one of my faves. Though I give almost any stand-up special a shot. What’s the weirdest video YouTube has suggested to you? Oh I don’t even know where to begin

Is there a drink that just goes right through you? Coffee!

Is there a food item you can’t eat because it doesn’t agree with you? It’s not so much the types of foods I eat but the AMOUNT I eat of them. Restraint just isn’t in my vocab.

Do you playfully compete with someone about something? Nah, not really.

Would you rather swim or run? Swim

Do you like the smell of tar? Actually yeah. It’s one of those distinct summer scents!

Have you ever been to a sauna? Yes, although I can only handle a minute or two. They are not for me!

Does your doorbell ring unexpectedly often? Never

Is your favorite fictional character a human, an animal or something else? Humans

Have you ever helped a stranger? If so, what did you do? Of course, in many ways. Random acts of kindness make the world go ‘round, people!!

Do you share hobbies with any of your friends? What do you do together? Reading, writing, listening to music, crafting, etc etc.

Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? Nope

0 notes

bitsfordays · 7 years

Text

Work Visits

Another part to my nurseydex children series! Ive offically deemed this Au “Things That Stop You Dreaming” and it can be found on AO3 under that title!

Enjoy Addy being cute af, plus an introduction to Bella!

(pst, i posted this in two parts on AO3 but yall will get it all in one bc im lazy)

“Daddy, are we there?”

Derek sighed and looked at his daughter for probably the seventh time in the last 10 minutes he's been driving. This was the seventh time she asked.

“Addison, I know you have the route to the rink memorized, so I know that you know that we are literally in the arena parking lot. You don't have to antagonize me.”

Addison gave what could only be described as a shit-eating grin from her spot in the back seat. She swung her legs happily. “I know Daddy, but Papa says that I should mess with you more often. He says its funny”

Derek was going to kill his husband.

He pulled into one of the parking spots reserved for players families and shut off the car. He turned around so he could make proper eye contact with his daughter.

“Okay Addison, Papa is playing against Uncle Jack tonight. Uncle Bitty was in town already for his book tour and so he brought Bella with him and we’ll be sitting with them in the family section. Do you remember the rules for when Uncle Jack plays against Papa?”

“Boo when Papa gets checked but don't cheer if someone on Uncle Jacks team gets checked, unless it's by Papa.” Addison explained neatly.

“Anything else?”Derek prompted.

“Don't curse?”

Derek couldn't help but laugh. Addison had learned her fair share of curse words, despite only being 6 years old. It's what happened when a child had an uncle whose name was literally Shitty.

“Not quite, lovely but that's a good one. I was actually going for ‘don't heckle Uncle Jack.’ He needs to stay concentrated on the game ”

“Oh.” Addison shrugged her little shoulders. “I can do that. Can we go inside now?”

Derek laughed. “Yes, Addy. We can.”

They got out of the car and made their way inside, not even bothering to wave their passes at the security guards, who they knew by name and had for years now. They went to their seats in the family section, directly behind the glass and found their family already there.

“Bella!” Addison tore her hand from Derek's and ran to greet her best friend/pseudo-cousin. They hugged tightly in the way that only young kids could.

Bella was a year older than Addison but that didn't stop them from being as thick as thieves. They lived three hours apart so they didn't see each other often but they adored each other just the same. Bella was more soft spoken than Addison was,

“Nursey!” Bitty grinned and pulled Derek into a tight hug.

“Hey Bits.” Derek laughed and hugged the other man back, just as tight. “How was the book tour?”

“Oh, you would not believe...”Bitty launched into a story about his time touring for his newest cookbook and Derek let his thoughts drift as Bitty rambled on.

“Oh, there they are!” Bella interrupted her father, pointing down at the ice as the players skated on for warm ups.

Jack and Will were both easy to spot. Even from under his helmet, Will’s ginger hair was easy to spot, just as Jacks distinctive blue eyes were easy to spot behind his face guard.

“Papa!” Addison jumped up and down in front of the glass and waved her arms furiously. “Papa! Papa, over here!”

Derek could see Will’s grin from the other side of the ice. Will waved at his daughter, who waved back energetically. Derek could see Jack’s shoulders shake as he laughed and saw Jacks mouth move in some chirp. Will grinned and said something back before they skated their separate ways to warm up with their teams.

Addison kept waving her arms, trying to catch her father's attention again until Derek had to put a stop to it. “Add,let Papa warm up in peace. You dont want to throw him off his game, do you?”

“Its preseason, Daddy, it doesn't effect the season.” Addison responded, not looking away from the ice. Bitty chuckled from his seat.

“Addison. Leave him be until after the game, okay? Then you can harass him as much as you want.”

“Fiiiiiineeeee.” Addison backed away from the glass and sat down between Derek and Bella with a pout but Derek couldn't help but chuckle. There were times where he wanted to do the same thing.

Addison kept pouting and Derek took pity on her. “Hey Addy, how about you tell Uncle Bitty how your skating classes have been going? Im sure he would love to hear about them.”

Addison perked up immediately and Derek smiled.

This was going to be a good evening.

Rangers beat the Falconers 4-3, with Dex getting the game winning goal at the end of the 3rd period. Jack clapped Will on the shoulder during the handshaking and from the stands, Derek could see him say something and Will laughed before they both went on to shake more hands.

They met Dex outside of the Rangers locker room. He was sweaty and gross but he still beamed when he saw his husband and daughter. It made Dereks heart do flips, the same way it did when they met in college.

“Papa!” Addison tore her hand from Dereks and did a flying leap towards her father. Will dropped his hockey bag to open his arms as his daughter slammed into his chest. “Hi Papa! You played really good tonight!”

“Thanks baby.” Will hugged her tightly. “Did you enjoy watching the game with Uncle Bitty and Bella?”

“Yeah! Did you know Bella is taking figure skating classes? Im gonna have her show me all the stuff shes learning there and Ill teach her everything Im learning in my hockey skating class!”

“Thats wonderful, Addy-Girl.” Will smiled. He set her down and looked over at Derek. “Hey babe. Did you enjoy the game?”

“You know I did.” Derek smiled and kissed Will on the cheek. “Nice check on Jack during the 2nd. Had him rattled for a second there.”

Will shrugged. “He got me back in the 3rd, twice as hard. I felt my brain rattle.”

Derek frowned. “How's your head?”

“It's fine, Der. They got me all checked out and I'm fine.”

“Good. I like you better with your brain intact.”

“Same.”

“Quit being gross!” Addison jabbed Will in the leg to get his attention.

“Ow, Addison. That's not how you get people's attention.” Will chided.

“Sorry. Can we go see Uncle Jack and Bitty and Bella now?” Addison said.

“Sure. Lead the way.” Derek said.

Addison lead them around to the visitors lockers, just in time to run into Jack, Bitty and Bella, who was currently asleep on Jacks back.

“Nice game, Cap.” Derek said with a smirk.

Jack sighed. “I havent been your captain in over a decade, Nurse. Please stop.”

“Ah, but you were the best one Ive ever had. Sorry Bits.”

Bitty and Jack both rolled their eyes.

“We would love to stay and chat with you two but we gotta get headed towards the airport.” Bitty said. “Especially since Bells already asleep. Shes been up since 6am with me and is just bone tired.”

“Okay Bits. We’ll see you in a few weeks for the Falconers home opener. Wanna get dinner before hand, while our husbands do their thing?”

“Sure. We’ll see you then. Have a safe flight you three.”

“See yall later!”

The Zimmermann-Bittles walked away, leaving the Poindexter-Nurses on their own. Addison tugged on Dereks hand. “Are we gonna go home now?”

Will grabbed Addison's free hand and smiled. “Yes, Addy-Girl. Home for now.”

“Okay.” Addison gave a tired smile. “It was a good game, Papa.”

“Thanks baby.”

Together, the three of them left the area at the end of another good day.

Derek Poindexter-Nurse hates writing. Its difficult, its time consuming and tedious to do. He hates writing with an undeniable, fiery passion.

Which is why he does it for a living. Obviously.

When it comes to writing, Derek’s been lucky. Hot got published only a few years after college and he quickly made it onto the bestseller list. He has hordes of teenage fans who would probably commit many crimes if he asked them to, all of them clamoring for another installment, another book, another bonus story, another anything. He could give them a five hundred word shit stain and most of them would probably be content. Literally anything.

Which is of course, how Derek found himself holding down the ‘H’ key for ten minutes, thumping his head continuously on his desk, as if that will make the ideas come faster. Usually when Derek gets into a slump like this, he just goes and talks to Will but its early May and the Stanley Cup playoffs are looming in front of the Rangers, so Will’s at practice and will be for another four hours, meaning that Derek is stuck stewing in his own mind indefinitely.

Indefinitely doesnt last for long. Dereks stewing is interrupted by a knock on his study door and it being pushed open to reveal Addison in all of her 13 year old glory.

“Are you okay Dad?” Addison said, looking at her father with a mixture of concern and vague disgust.

“No.” Derek sighed. He thumped his head aginst the wood again.

“Um..” Addison walkedd ina nd leaned against the desk where Derkes head currently was. “Maybe stop hitting your head against the desk? I dont think getting a concussion would be very good for you. Besides, Papa’s gotten enough for the both of you.”

Derek leveled a glare at his daughter but he lifted his head off the desk and sat up. He rubbed the red mark on his forehead. “Ive gotten my fair share of concussions too, ya know. I did play hockey for a lot time.”

“I know, I know, all im saying is that Papa had a concussion like, a month ago. “ Addison shrugged. “So his might be a little more relevant.”

It was true. Will had gotten a harsh check and was out of the game for a while because of it. It was rough on all three of them, just as it always was whenever Will got hurt during games. It always made Derek worry, usually about how much longer Will could play in the NHL or if they should continue letting Addison play in her junior league. It sent his head in swirls and him and Bitty and Caitlin have spent hours talking about the stress of being married to three of the top players in the NHL. And Derek knew that their children have had similar conversations about being the children of NHL stars.

“Dad? Hello?” Addison waved her hand in front of Derek's face to get his attention. “You still with me or did you actually give yourself self a concussion? Do I need to drive you to the hospital?”

“You can't drive yet, Addison. You're 13.”

“I know but I figured that if you had a concussion you would let me try anyways.” Addison grinned.

“And that's where you're wrong.”

“Worth a shot. So what's wrong?”

Derek let out a long sigh. “Writing is hard, Addy. Don't do it. It isn't a viable career. “

“I mean, it wasnt on my list. I was more thinking hockey.”

“Huh?” Derek stared at his daughter and his heart thumped extra hard. “Really?”

“Well, yeah.” Addison shrugged. “Its what makes sense and I like it a lot. Is there…..something wrong with that?”

Derek let out a breath. The idea of his daughter, his pride and joy, one of the two most important people in his life, playing a dangerous game that both him and his husband loved made him feel nauseous. He knew first hand how dangerous the game was and while he knew that Addison took after her fathers in her love for the game, part of Derek wished that she didnt.

“Just..be careful.” Derek said carefully. He didnt want to admit to her how much it scared him. “You have time to decide. Most kids your age have no idea what they want to do. But, me and Papa will support you no matter what, okay?”

“Okay Daddy.” Addison leaned over and hugged him tightly. Derek hugged her back, putting all of his concerns and hopes into that hug.

“So, how can I help you get past your writing block right now?” Addison asked, pulling away from the hug.

Derek glanced at his laptop, which was just showing a word document full with the letter “H”. An idea tickled at the back of his brain. Something about an over-do meeting between a main character and their parent. A nice conversation about fears. Derek grinned

“You've already have.”

#nurseydex #zimbits #future fic #kid fic #AU:Things That Stop You Dreaming #my writing #hockey screams

90 notes · View notes

ohnohetaliasues · 7 years

Text

Zila Umbra (Fairy Tail)

(Kat)

I'm not sure if I've reviewed this before, but I don't think I have. Let's begin.

I was asked to delete the art by the artist, so I have. It was very well done, though.

i haven’t written her complete background yet but i have it written in my minD

This is off to a rocky start...

I’m curious about the issue with putting the ideas down on the profile, but I’m not here to nitpick.

Hello, yes, this is my blog, where I nitpick things. Enjoy your stay!

sOOSOoo her name is Zila Umbra and shes a lil bae and im still kinda n the process of designing her character so yee

Don't describe your OC as a 'bae' or I will kill you violently.

Also, 'bae' means 'poop' in Danish...

ok so when she was younger she found out that she could talk to the dead,

Okay, no. We haven't seen any ghosts in Fairy Tail other than Mavis, but she's only there because of her residual magic and the guild seal that acts as an extension. This is not Supernatural, contrary to the gif I just used.

and it completely paranoid her and her parents.

That's kind of mild....?

Just paranoid?

Her parents where completely religion based and basically thought she was the spawn of satan or something

The only church I can think of in Fairy Tail is the Church of Zentopia, and that was a filler arc. So please explain why her parents are Fairy Tail puritans.

and sent her off to a mental hospital that completely isolated her from others besides her ghosts

And they didn't just say 'Oh, that's your magic'? No, they just jumped to "SATAN!"

and thats really not something a little girl should have to deal with sOOOO she made friends with one specific ghost who actually turned out to be her mentor in magic.

That's... convenient.

She taught her that the reason she hears all the ghosts and voices is because of the eye she was born with is basically the sorce of most her magical energy so she started covering it up and her everlasting headache went away.

...No. Just no. That is not a thing. WHEN DID THE HEADACHE THING COME IN? Body parts are never magic in Fairy Tail, other than Erza's artificial eye.

She was also taught that if she wore sage it would ward off bad spirits, so she put some sage in a small vile and put that on necklace and put the necklace around her neck and she wears it to this day uwu.

THIS IS NOT SUPERNATURAL.

she still could talk to ghosts and stuff though.

Oh yes, all benefits and no cons. She can still use her magic usually even though she covered up her eye?

Her mentor ( her name is darcy) taught her all the basics of magic and such as she lived in her little cell.

This is too dark for Fairy Tail.

Darcy though specialized in shadow magic, so she passed it on to zila (along with some knowlege on spells that let you use ghosts as your allies and stuff).

This is not okay.

once zila had been taught all she could darcy taught her how escape and about a guild called fairy tail she could go to for help

Why wasn't she like 'Go to a soup kitchen' or a homeless shelter, but nooo, let's go to a MAGIC GUILD.

Also, Darcy is a ghost. Of course she's an expert at escaping. She can WALK THROUGH WALLS.

Zila made it out succsesfully after 3 years of being isolated ( and thus began her fear of being alone uwu)

i don't think she'd be able to function properly in society after being isolated for three freaking years.

once she made it to the guild she was let in and made friends quickly ( which really suprised her because she haddnt interacted with real people in like forever eheh)

Like I said, she wouldn't be able to function properly. She'd be quiet and reserved.

This is so improbable I CANNOT EVEN.

out of the children in the group

She is a CHILD WHO WAS IN ASYLUM FOR THREE YEARS WITH NOBODY BUT GHOSTS. ERZA WAS TRAUMATIZED WHEN SHE JOINED THE GUILD AFTER THE TOWER OF HEAVEN DEBACLE. SHE HAD TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS. SHE TOOK A VERY LONG TIME TO ADJUST. THAT'S JUST BEING HUMAN. THIS GIRL IS DEFYING LOGIC. BEING ALONE FOR SO LONG WOULD HAVE A SUBSTANTIAL IMPACT ON HER PSYCHE.

and was usually the peace maker between gray and natsu bUT ITS ONLY BECUASE SHE LOVES THem,

She literally just stole Erza's job.

once erza came she was always trying to talk to her and make sure she wasnt sad because she felt sorry for her and knew that if she was going to be alone that it would be sad

It feels like this OC is ripping of Erza's struggle.

anddddddd yeAH THATS A WHOLE NOTHER STORY BUT THEYRE BASICALLY BEST BUDS KINDA ANd they go on jobs together a lot ( like i imagine her being with erza when they came into the story line )

If she's S Class, I will scream.

shes such a little sweatheart too.

I am suffering.

Vehemently.

She hums when she fights easy battles

That... makes her sound insane. Nobody does that in Fairy Tail.

and will only cry if someone tells her its okay

That is not good for your mental health.

Personality wise shes veRY VERY VERY VERY LOYAL AND PROTECTIVE OF HER FRIENDS

Oh gee, I didn't see this cliché coming.

LIke if she let a friend get hurt when she couldve prevented it she would be so dispointed.

Of freaking course.

Like every OC ever.

She DOSENT like seeing a people she cares about in pain

Nobody does, sweetheart.

so she’ll do her best to prevent it like rub natsus back while they’re on a train or in a car or somethin u kno.

Not even Lucy does that. Nobody wants him to puke on them.

Shes pretty caring and forgiving unless you break a promise or betray the guild or somethin, but shes not overly forgiving of people who used to be bad and are now good unless shes had time to understand them and stuff idk. ALSO PLS DONT TrY TO HURT JUST HER FRIENDS IN FRONT OF HER BECAUSE SHES GOING TO tRY AND KILL U NO MERCy.

Wow, I so haven't seen that before in my three years of reviewing OCs.

ALSO she’ll straight up be like “I love you” if she loves you bUT JUST AS A FRIEND OK if she loves u romantically shes gonna hide it a bunch or iF SHE FInds out that you like her shes gonna blush all the time around you

Please no.

You know, for someone who was stuck in an asylum, alone, for three years, she sure acts like a normal teenage girl.

and just omg i love her.

You don't put that on an OCs profile.

You just don't.

She’s also pretty comfortable around people she knows so like if she’s on a train or somethin she will use grays shoulder as a pillow because iTS COLD AND SHES TIRED AND NOBODY CARES BECause it’s her and it’s completely normal for her.

Juvia would mind. Juvia would mind a lot. And so would Gray, to be honest.

OveRALL SHES NICE AND FRIENDly and shes a pretty strong fighter and stuff and shes calm and optimistic and encouraging even though when shes fighting shes scaRY

There are no flaws anywhere.

a babe ok shes just a babe

The more you say that, the more I want to kill her.

negative characteristic wise shes really paranoid still due to all the ghosts and shit,

Wouldn't she be used to that? Also, can't she keep away the bad ghosts?

SHE HAS THAT BIG FEAR OF BEING ALONE LIke she will stay by whoever shes with and usually they make sure they stay by her too because they kNOW SHES SCARED AS FRICK OF BEING ALONe.

The creator is trying to make a flaw. But these will not effect the OC in critical moments.

but if shes confined in a place and has no idea if people are near her or not shes rEALLY SCARED EVEN THOUGH SHES A TOUGH MOMMA SHES SCAREd.

You are running in circles here. What is her weakness? The situation you provided would scare anyone!

shes forgetfull but wont ever forget things really important eheh,

Yay, another weakness that isn't a weakness.

I do this all the time. Many people do. You aren't a special snowflake.

she can get really anxious and worried for others, and when you upset her in a fight she might get upset and start being reckless but yOU REALLY GOTTA TUG ON THOSE HEART STRINGS (unless ur like ’ ima kill ur bud’ then its really easy for her to go cray on you, but usually

Okay, no. That is literally Natsu. This person is ripping other characters off.

Also, that was a run on sentence. It stars at "She's forgetful" and ends at "when that happens uwu." USE PUNCTUATION.

if the person being threatened is with her they’ll calm her down and she’ll be able to fight in a less reckless way), but once you do she goes a little insane and is more powerfull but gets hurt eaiser and dosent even care just as long as she fucks the other person up aND SHELL TELL EM TOO idk shes really violent/crazy/scary/blood-thirsty when that happens uwu.

What happened to "She's such a lovable sweetheart?"

Shes super ’ no mercy’ in fights too, mainly because thats what darcy taught her,

Was Darcy evil? Because in Fairy Tail, mercy is a virtue. Lucy would hate her if she showed no mercy. Even Natsu shows mercy, though he goes kind of ballistic if someone threatens his friends (especially Lucy). How did she get in if she shows no mercy? How did she even make friends?

and because she has no trust in the enemy to not hurt her after shes won.

That doesn't justify that.

She has a bad sense of humor too ok shes a cutie

OH YES, SHE'S STILL A CUTIE.

Zila also has a little ghost friend named Boo ( it’s cliche but idec) who wears a bow with a spell that let’s other people see her on it.

Is Boo more powerful than Mavis now? Because Mavis's residual energy let the members of the guild with a mark see her, but that was the only reason. Nobody else could. But apparently, Boo is so powerful everyone can see her.

Boo would have to be god-like in terms of power.

I call nonsense on that.

Boo is only with Zila when theyre ina care-free environment but Boo can’t talk and can only use facial expressions. Boo is bae too

If you call something 'bae' one more time, I am going to lose it.

Also, what sense does that make?

None.

(also heres what her eyes look like without her eye patch uwu)

That is such a generic thing to do with an OC.

Literally, just no.

Overall, this OC was terrible. She had no flaws, no weaknesses, and her ghost friend had god-like powers. I cannot even. I'll see you guys later.

~Kat

#ohnohetaliasues #mod kat #fairy tail #fairy tail oc #fairy sue #NO #SELF INSERT #MARY SUEEEEE #mary sue #Overpowered #i can't even #canon interference #canon copy #ripoff OC

1 note · View note

lakambinimagph · 5 years

Text

The Chronicles of a Supermom: A Mothers' Day Special

It’s that time of the year again - the time when we get to honor and to show our love and our appreciation to our ‘ilaw ng tahanan.’ Whether it may be a teenage mom or a single mother, a lesbian couple or a gay couple who raises their own bundle of joy, whether it may be grandmommas or aunts who become one’s mother figure, or a single dad who assumes the motherly role for his kids, this day is for all of you. But wait, have you ever wondered why and when did people start celebrating “Mothers’ Day”?

Before there was a Celebration...

Before “Mothers’ Day” was even a thing, the ancient Greeks and Romans held their own festivities to celebrate motherhood, guised as the Greek goddess Rhea and the Roman goddess Cybele; however, it was the early Christians who introduced the idea of a “Mothering Sunday.” The “Mothering Sunday” was a festival not necessarily devoted to mothers and motherhood; rather, it was when Christians would return to their mother churches for a special service. This was not even celebrated during the month May! The “Mothering Sunday” was celebrated during the fourth Sunday of the Lent. As years pass by, this festival was celebrated in the manner we all know at present - give flowers and tokens of appreciation to our mothers.

A few years before the Civil War, a lady named Ann Reeves Jarvis helped establish a club called the “Mothers’ Day Works Club”—a club which aims to teach West Virginian women on how to properly care for their children. Aside from being a ‘school for mothers,’ this club also became a unifying force and a support group for the region during the Civil War. During the mid-19th century, Jarvis organized the “Mothers’ Friendship Day”—an event aimed to reconcile the Union and the Confederate soldiers. Another revolutionary woman who contributed to the celebration we know today is Julia Ward Howe. In 1870, Howe created the “Mothers’ Day Proclamation” - an action calling for mothers to unite to promote world peace. Three years after, she campaigned for the celebration of “Mothers’ Peace Day” which was celebrated every 2nd of June. Other revolutionary people who lobbied for the unification and the celebration of mothers and motherhood were Juliet Calhoun Blakely, Mary Towels Sasseen, and Frank Herring.

It was on the record that it was not until the 1900s when “Mothers’ Day,” because of Anna Jarvis, daughter of Ann Reeves Jarvis, was fully and successfully established. After her mother’s death, “Mothers’ Day” started as an honorification of all the scarifices mothers make for their children. The rest, as they say, is history.

In celebration of today’s Mothers’ Day, we, the Lakambini team, featured the some of the mothers of today.

The Challenged Newbie Mom

“Motherhood is not just having your own child, but rather it is how you care for other people. Hindi dahil wala kang anak, hindi ka na pwedeng magpaka-ina. Pwede kang magpaka-ina in your own way hindi lang sa isang bata, pwede rin sa sarili mong kapatid, pwede rin sa iba. It’s just how you care for other people and how you nurture them to become better people and better versions of themselves.”

It was a rollercoaster ride for 20-year-old mother Danna Ruiz. Being in her third year in college, transferring to a different school, and finding out that she was pregnant, she was bombarded with a plethora of emotions. It felt surreal to have a baby growing inside her. She admitted that running away crossed her and her partner’s mind, in fear that once they confronted their families, they will not get the reaction and the support that they were hoping for, but despite the fear and the hesitation, not once did abortion crossed their minds.In the end, they chose to be open to their families and spilled the beans of their pregnancy. It actually turned out to be better than what they expected.

Apart from the support and the understanding they received from their families, they also sought and gratefully received support from the institution they were in.

“Naging understanding and accommodating ‘yong school administration. Naiintindihan nila kung bakit hindi ako nakakapasok minsan, kung bakit late ako pumapasok,” she explained. Sometimes when she brings her baby to school, her friends, classmates, and even her professors help take care of her child so that she can focus on her school works.

Growing up in the province, there is a stigma attached to a small-town girl like her. Being a consistent honor student, a daughter of a teacher, and a granddaughter of a politician, there are expectations of her becoming. She says that she and her partner values their privacy as a family, not because they are ashamed or because they have anything to hide, but because they want to avoid and protect their child from the cruel world. “Hindi mo rin kasi alam kung gaano sila ka-genuinely interested doon sa bata. Baka magtanong sila for the sake na may ma-tsismis,” she explains. Some of her closest friends to whom she personally broke the news to always tell her and always encourage her to finish her studies for the sake of her baby.

One of the challenging aspects of motherhood (and parenthood) is learning how to raise a child in the way they have not experienced. “Paano namin mapapalaki ang isang bata, paano namin aayusin ‘yong pamilya na kami, parehas kaming galing sa pamilya na hindi ayos. Kasi kung pag-aalaga, madali lang ‘yan. Matututunan ‘yan, pero kung paano magpaka-nanay at magpaka-tatay, ‘yan ‘yong isang malaking challenge lalo na kung wala kang role model na maganda.”

“Kanya-kanya tayo ng coping mechanisms. Pero hindi sagot ‘yong sukuan mo ‘yong bagay-bagay. Hindi iyan isang problema. Isa ‘yang challenge at responsibility para magtanda ka, at kung umabot man sa punto na hindi ka paninindigan ng lalaki, kayanin mo para sa anak mo. Hindi na lang ito tungkol sa’yo, may buhay nang umaasa sa’yo.”

The Young, Christian Mother

“Motherhood is like a stage play. Imagine you are performing something on stage, in front of judges, you have to give your best shot because the moment the audience thinks you are not good enough, it’s like you did not give your best care to your child. Being a mom is one of the hardest things to do but definitely all worth it.”

Johnielle Grace “Jheng” Vera is a 20-year-old english major, a former student-athlete, born and raised in a Christian family, and a mother to a 2-year-old little girl.

Her story was not an easy one. Between trainings for their institution’s volleyball team and having an irregular menstrual cycle, it did not cross her mind that she could be pregnant. She was already in her second trimester when it was confirmed that she does have a little bean growing inside her. Once she got home from a trip to Laguna, her partner suggested they see an Ob-gynecologist.Jheng was barely 18 years old when she found out.

She was at the peak of her youth - the part of her life when she should be carefree, when she should be enjoying the best things in life: college, hanging out with friends, parties, sports, and all the other things teenagers are known to love and enjoy, but no. She was thinking of the ‘what abouts’ and the ‘what ifs.’ She was anxious. She was scared.

“Nawala ako sa sarili ko. Gusto kong ipalaglag. Gusto kong magpasagasa. Gusto kong magpahulog sa hagdan. Lahat basta mawala ‘yong baby sa tiyan ko. Sobrang stressed at paranoid ako no’ng mga unang weeks na nalaman ko ‘to. Sising-sisi ako sa lahat ng pinaggagagawa ko. Iyak dito. Iyak doon. Ang hirap magpanggap na okay ka. Ang hirap magpanggap na kaya mong magbuhat. Ang hirap itago ng tiyan. Ang hirap itago ng mga gamot at ng gatas ni baby,” she said.

In the society that we live in, engaging in pre-marital sex is discouraged and frowned upon. Imagine how scary tt is for a young adult, who was raised in an environment that is grounded on the teachings of the Bible, to be pregnant at a tender age of 18, but Jheng was very grateful.

“Ang laki ng pasasalamat kong Kristiyano ang tatay ko. Kung hindi, napalayas at nabugbog na sana ako. Pero hindi, ang unang sinabi niya “Huwag ka nang mag-alala. Aalalayan kita. Haharapin natin ‘yan.” Doon ako sobrang humagulgol. ‘Di ko akalaing ganito pala talaga kabait ‘yong papa ko. Sobrang thankful ako na tinulungan niya akong i-open ito sa buong pamilya. Nag-iyakan lahat, siyempre. Niyakap ako. ‘Di akosinabunutan o kinladkad. doon ko naramdaman ‘yong suporta ang pagdamay nila sa akin.”

She has one more hurdle to conquer - opening it to the church. Jheng was very active in church and in its activities. She was one of the most requested young adult to perform a special number every Sunday. She admitted that she cannot go to church or even face her church mates. She was held back by the shame and the fear she was feeling, until such time when she started to crave for the warmth and the comfort of home, of her brothers and sisters in Christ.

“Nag-pray ako nang sobra. Iniyak ko nang iniyak kay God lahat. Sobrang ang bait Niya. Sa kabila ng pagkakamali ko, gumamit pa rin Siya ng mga tao at bagay na makapagpapakitang sobrang tapat Niya. Hindi ko kayang nasa bahay lang ako kaya humugot ako nang humugot ng lakas ng loob hanggang sa ayon, for the sake of my baby… nag-church na rin ako,” she said.

The reaction she got was far from the reaction that she was expecting. Despite everything that happened, she was still greeted with warmth and love.

She sometimes envy her peers who get to live their teenage lives to the fullest; and, more often than not, thoughts about how she should be enjoying her teenage life instead of being at home and caring for a child have crossed her mind. She admits that being a teenage mom is hard. But despite the passing jealousy and the ‘what ifs’ lurking in her head, she continues to grow and to appreciate the little things in life because of her precious daughter.

“To all the teen moms out there, I know it is hard, but one thing I have realized is that the most important thing you must learn is to know what love is - God. The moment you start knowing Him, you will learn to be kind, strong, and understanding. Life is short so be with your children always. Treasure every single moment because you will never know what tomorrow brings. You are God’s instrument to your children. You are the one who will teach them the best things this world could give. and lastly, remember to let God be the center of your life and everything will follow.”

Mothers, may it be expecting moms or first-time moms, have different stories to tell, but at the end of the day they all have one thing in common: Yes, motherhood is hard. Yes, being a mother is hard. You’ll have your fair share of struggles, of good days and bad days, but at the end of it all, the love you have for your children will always overpower the pain and the struggles that you felt in the past, you are feeling at present, and you will be feeling in the future. This, ladies and gents, is what makes mothers the best superheroes we will ever know.

Cheers to all the beautiful mommas out there!

Words by Jannah Lei Junatas

Graphics by Jemimah Keziah Cresencia

#careful whisper #mother's day philippines

0 notes

briefbouquetcreatorlove-blog · 6 years

Text

indiana insurance department company search

"indiana insurance department company search

indiana insurance department company search

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr