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#this is about guillermo but it’s also about the guide
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it’s about getting everything you want and it not being enough and it not being what you wanted. you thought you wanted respect and now you think you have it but do you? you wanted to be a part of the family but did you ever? you love them you love them you love them but loving them is violence loving them is loss loving them is hard. you’ve done it anyways. now you should be happy you should be happy you should be happy but you aren’t because this isn’t what you wanted. you wanted a fantasy and this is too real. you just wanted a family now there’s blood on your hands and in your mouth and your mother would raise a stake to your heart without a thought and did you ever really want this?
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blackladynerd · 8 months
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The Guide is just passive aggressively going after every member of the house now. Good for her.
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quillyfied · 10 months
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Don’t you threaten me with a season of Nadja learning to do one single act of genuine kindness. I don’t know that my heart can take so much gleeful schadenfreude.
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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year
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I FEEL COMPLETELY NORMAL ABOUT THE FACE GUILLERMO MAKES WHEN MARWA ADMITS TO THINKING ABOUT NOT GOING THOUGH WITH THE MARRAGE
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clowngerms · 2 years
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me, at 1 AM, watching the newest episode of what we do in the shadows after watching the marwa and Guillermo scene, live:
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dolokhoded · 2 years
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love how the wwdits fandom will talk about guillermo and a guy we haven't even fucking met yet before they talk about the women in the show.
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vulcandyke · 2 years
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not watching wwdits until they either bring marwa back or nadja gets a gf
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leafatlaw · 1 year
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forever thinking about how wwdits implied the Guide to have OCD then just never brought that up again
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cookinguptales · 2 years
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the look on Nandor’s face when he talked about watching The Wedding Planner with Guillermo
Nandor making Guillermo try on groom’s clothing before his wedding
the genuinely hurt look in Nandor’s eyes when Guillermo was like “YOU JUST DID!”
Nandor actively sabotaging his own wedding and repeatedly asking Guillermo if he’s against the wedding
Guillermo being supportive but also the most stressed he’s ever been in his entire life, which kind of seems like he’s got some buried stuff wanting to come out!!
Nandor only being convinced to use up the rest of his wishes when Nadja and the Guide told him he was hurting Guillermo
Nandor only having the courage to go out on stage after Guillermo promised to stand by his side no matter what and the naked vulnerability he was willing to show to him
Nandor confiding his deepest fears and desires in only Guillermo, which is explicitly the thing he wanted a significant other for in season 3
The fact that Guillermo clearly knew exactly what Nandor really meant when he said “best.... man” and beaming at him
Nandor only looking happy at all at his wedding when he was talking to Guillermo
Nandor admitting he has no intention of turning Marwa to be with her forever
Nandor walking away from his wife so he could be disgustingly tender towards a sleeping Guillermo?? 
HE TOUCHED GUILLERMO SO MUCH IN THIS EPISODE...
Marwa never showing Nandor a speck of real affection but being blatantly flirty and extremely physically affectionate with Guillermo after she’s magically made to like whatever Nandor likes
“Wow, that’s a lot of kissing...”
Nandor realizing that his wife doesn’t love him and didn’t want to marry him and doesn’t want to be there! And that he really only wanted a wedding, not a wife! But now it’s too late to fix it!
NANDOR HAVING THREE MORE WISHES THAT HE HAS TO USE VERY CAREFULLY...
ohhhhhhhh friends my ship is LIVING and I am LIVING and how am I supposed to FUNCTION for the next four weeks???
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nanawritesit · 9 months
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WWDITS Headcanons: You Having the Opposite Aesthetic of Everyone Else at the Vampire Residence (fem!reader)
tw: vampires, blood, corpses, mentions of killing, mentions of virgins, immortality
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you were brought into the house to work as nadja and laszlo’s familiar
after having so many familiars die on the job, they had pretty much lost hope that they would ever find one that was right for them
so when you of all people, with your brightly colored hair, glittery makeup, long nails, and hot pink platform boots, were still around after a few weeks, they knew you were special 💞
of course they had their doubts at first, thinking you were much too soft for the job based on your cute aesthetic, but you surprised them with how tough you were
you had no problem finding them victims, cleaning up blood stains, and disposing of corpses. the promise of eternal life was much too great for you to give up because of some gore
nadja is overjoyed to have another woman in the house, and quickly becomes more of a bestie than a boss (as long as you do all of your duties as a familiar too)
she requires you to attend weekly “girls nights” with her, the guide, and mini nadja, but even if they weren’t mandatory, you’d happily go along
sometimes you’ll get all dressed up and go clubbing, taking everyone’s drinks for them since they can’t ingest human food
you stick out like a sore thumb in your pink sequin mini dress and heels, the rest of them shrouded in black lace, but you have an amazing time regardless. they really know how to party!
but sometimes you just have sleepovers where you watch mamma mia and talk shit about all the men in the house
laszlo didn’t take you seriously at first. he never really saw the appeal of having a familiar, thinking he got along just fine without one, but wanted to please his good lady wife
he could never understand how nandor was so attached to guillermo. he was just some human who followed him around and did his bidding
that was, until you came along
he found it was really nice to have someone to practice his music with, to organize his library for him, to help him into his coffin every night… and after a while he really grew quite fond of you
which scared him, because he knew how fragile human life was
but that only made him want to keep you under his wing more, to protect you until the day him and nadja decided to turn you
they love having you accompany them on their nightly walks, carrying their parasol behind them as they bask in the moonlight
they’re super protective of you, especially from people who assume you’re an easy target because of your looks
like, if anyone tries to mess with you around them, lazslo will yell at them to go fuck off, and nadja will practically go feral and rip their heart out
you’ll have to BEG her not to hurt them for her to even CONSIDER letting them go 💀
nandor pretty much falls in love with you upon first sight
he absolutely adores your style, loving how unique it is compared to anyone else he knows
he tries and fails to flirt with you all the time while you’re working, until nadja eventually yells at him to leave you to your chores, and he’ll scuttle away bc he’s scared of her 😀
he sometimes asks you to do his makeup like yours, saying he wants to “glitter like twilight”
his undead heart stops when you lean close to his face to do his eyeliner 🥺
he desperately wants to ask you out but is terrified of what nadja would do to him should you agree
she thinks you’re MUCH too good for him
he eventually goes to laszlo for help, since he’s such an “expert” on modern women 💀
he agrees to help him, but tells him that if you guys start dating and he hurts you, he’ll kill him 😗
guillermo is honestly just so thrilled to have another human in the house to sympathize with him 😭
the two of you quickly become partners in crime, dragging bodies down the stairs together and recruiting virgins for your vampires to feast on
he also wouldn’t hesitate to slay any vampire who tried to feed on you
you always stick up for him when the vampires aren’t taking him seriously, which helps since they all value your opinion tremendously
nandor gets a bit jealous when he finds out that you and guillermo get lunch together everyday 😭
guillermo admittedly gets a bit jealous when you’re turned into a vampire before he is, but is obviously very happy for you
but since nandor has such a soft spot for you, you’re able to convince him to turn guillermo sooner :) that way you can be a big happy vampire family forever
collin robinson thinks you’re quite entertaining, although he gets frustrated at the fact that you somehow always dodge all of his attempts to drain your energy
when you go out on the town with everyone, you have major scary dog privilege
when you walk by, people see a pretty pink princess 💞
and then they see the three huge, dramatically dressed vampires, one emotionless suited man, and one monster slayer walking behind you and they’re like oh shit nvm 💀
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Group H, Round 3, Poll 4:
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Propaganda under the cut
Nadja of Antipaxos
Gaslights her fellow vampires when she knows she's wrong, gatekeeps info from familiar Guillermo, girlbosses by running her own doomed nightclub
She is the Girlboss, but also Girlloser of the show. Turned her own husband into a vampire (taking charge in a male-dominated field!) And further, in Season 3 she came out on top when her and Nandor were fighting over who would truly lead the Vampiric Council. Opened her own Vampire Nightclub! (Which she embezzled to death but shhh!) As for Gatekeep, she definitely gatekeeps both vampirism (Guillermo) and her friendship (The Guide). Does hypnosis count as Gaslight? I'm gonna count it in because she does hypnotize a lot of people. I could go on and on, but anyways Nadja is an icon and a queen and I love her.
Ianthe Tridentarius
She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate
Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.
"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "
She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.
Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top
idk just everything about her
her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.
she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.
Artist: @starcanist
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harveyguillensource · 1 month
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Quotes from Harvey about Guillermo's upcoming season 6 journey:
"I think we kind of realized that Guillermo is in a place of rebirth, renaissance," the actor, 33, tells PEOPLE of his character, the familiar of vampire Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak) who spends most of the series wishing to become a vampire himself, whatever it takes. "How do I say this without giving too much away? He definitely goes a route that we did not expect," Guillén adds of Guillermo. "Sometimes what you work for doesn't really pay off and doesn't really come to fruition," Guillén tells PEOPLE of his character's arc. "And sometimes that's heartbreak for us as humans, but we also have to remember that we have to understand what we're capable of and also what we are not capable of. And to know the difference." Guillén shares that they are in the middle of shooting the final season, and that it's been "really cool just to see the trajectory of" Guillermo's story, noting that he's "really excited for everyone to see where it lands just because we left off on such a sweet and nostalgic moment of his hard work." As for his hopes for Guillermo as the show wraps, "I still want for Guillermo the things I always wanted for him, which is for him to be happy," says the Wish voice actor. "For him to actually be happy. I think there's a past there that we kind of dive into a little bit and talk about this season." "We talk about his origin story — the origin of how ... maybe the desire of him wanting this [vampiric] lifestyle, that kind of idea," he explains. "I think at the end of the day, Guillermo always aspired to be a vampire because it looks like a wonderful life," Guillén continues. "You have beauty. You are free sexually to be who you want to be. You get to have all the money in the world. You live forever. There's no expectations of you. There's no limitations for you." But in reality, "Sometimes happiness is in front of you and you just have to let the universe guide you," he adds. "Sometimes the universe is literally telling you, 'I have what you need,' and you're like, "No, this is the path for me.' And just stop and listen and take the path the universe has given you."
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ineffably-human · 7 months
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It honest to God took me a month to rewatch the last two episodes of this season of Shadows, because I'm still so mad about how they handled Guillermo's decision. And I'm probably going to always be mad. I think this season wasted a lot of time that could have been spent laying better groundwork, for both Guillermo's decision and for Nadja and the Guide's subplot.
But something did click into place for me in that very last scene, where Derek's being ushered down by Topher to meet the other zombies. Season Three was unofficially about power and protection. Season Four was officially about change. I thought this season was going to be about secrets. But it's actually about belonging to a community.
The vampires were out in the world a lot more this season. Colin runs for public office (passing among humans as he can), which drags him into the interests of the community of energy vampires. Nadja connects to a community from her homeland, and winds up caring about them more than she ever expected. Laszlo's mostly focused on the experiments, but his natural ease with Sean (and humans in general) is on display a few times - and when the vampires think he's in distress, they throw a whole party to rally him. The Guide, of course, struggles the whole season with feeling like an outsider who can't be part of the group she cares for.
Sean links the vampires to the pride parade, not just celebrating the queer community, but making the vampires the face of queerness, of immigration, of Staten Island itself. (And Guillermo gets his first taste of Pride, and of a community he'd never been able to claim until recently.) At the same time, it's shown that vampires always feel like they're a step away from being found out by humans, of their surrounding community turning on them and forcing them out.
Nandor struggles throughout the season with social awkwardness, communicating, being misunderstood; he fails to connect with strangers without hypnosis guiding the conversation the way he wants it to go. But the other vampires have become his home, in a way that's evolved past their relationship during Season Three. He rallies them successfully during Local News. He and Colin Robinson look out for each other. Keeping Guillermo's secret is just as much about protecting Nandor as it is protecting Guillermo.
(It's still Guillermo he's always calling out for, though. With the certainty of someone who already knows where home is, he just hasn't named it yet.)
And as always, Guillermo is stuck in between two worlds. He can't connect fully with his bio family, but can't truly step away from them. He wants to be a vampire, but his transformation fights him and he can't see humans as prey. He wants to come when Nandor calls, but can't tell him about the biggest thing that's happening to him.
By the finale he feels more isolated from the vampires than ever, to the point that he can't see what's actually happening: by the time they all know his secret, the others have rallied around him, and are seeing him as another member of the family in need of protecting.
And once Nandor realizes that he cares more about losing Guillermo than his own pride, he deliberately brings that community to Guillermo: he introduces Guillermo as the fifth of their household, and throws him a birthday party to bookend the one at the start of the season. He makes Guillermo a ceremony, invites everyone they know, and asks if he's willing to become one of them forever.
And it's not that Guillermo doesn't want to be a vampire. He does, desperately. It's that he can't stop also being a human.
So instead it's Derek (a vampire basically living as a human, and deeply lonely for it) who is ushered into a new community ready to welcome him, something Guillermo has always been hoping for.
("Do you like eating human flesh? Heh, you will!")
Guillermo still doesn't have The Thing he wants, not really. He still has to name exactly what it is. But Nandor helped guide him towards where home is. And Laszlo helped him pick up the pieces. The vampires don't love Guillermo like a fellow vampire, but they love him like Guillermo, and like with Colin last year that doesn't just reset. It can't. The roots are in too deep, it's already bound everyone stronger.
We'll just have to wait to see what it turns into.
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vampirictranssexual · 8 months
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I’ve got a bit of a theory brewing in my noggin regarding the Guide. I’m placing bets that the Guide’s storyline points towards her villain arc. Hear me out-
In season 3 the Guide is appointed to assist the new leaders of the Vampiric Council, our Staten Island vampires. She has been an underling for the vampiric council for centuries and manages the Temple of Blood-Devourers.
She has followed the orders of many legendary councils, "the best of the best" as she refers to them. Now she is in the hands of a group of vampires who do not care about the rules and who violate the vampiric code by which they live at every turn. But she is required to help them and so she does.
In season 4, she quickly finds that she cannot control them. Laszlo and Colin destroy artifacts from the Chamber of Curiosities. Nandor and Nadja neglect to feed the sire and he escapes. She oversaw the sacred reliquary for hundreds of years and they dismantled all of it in a matter of weeks. Then Nadja suggests they turn the whole place into a bar. She is completely opposed to this idea and only comes around when Nadja tells the Guide that the liquidator of underlings of the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council, Lord Tyractus (?), said that it would be better used as a bar.
This is of course a lie but the Guide cares what the Supreme Vampiric Council thinks of her and her dedicated work. So, she agrees to the bar. She can’t get her wraiths to help with converting the space into a bar because “they know what her heart really wants”. To help get through this mental block, Laszlo books her for a therapy session. That’s where we discover her history of falling in love with a Van Helsing. (I would also like to point out that the picture of the Guide with the Van Helsing in her flashback is the same one we see in the open credits for season 5) Her form of punishment is to serve the Vampiric Council as an underling for eternity. She explicitly tells Laszlo in her therapy session that “if anything gets changed here something very bad will happen.” Could this be hinting towards some greater power beyond her control?
Finally they are able to gut the chambers for Nadja’s bar. Nadja treats the Guide and her wraiths so poorly the whole time. Despite all this, she sticks by Nadja’s side. She does her best to fulfill her duties despite their constant mistreatment.
We learn in the beginning of season 5 that she is once again left waiting at the Vampiric Council. At this point she has mostly given up on trying to make them follow the legacy of the vampiric council. So instead, she pursues respect and admiration from the vampires. But she cannot make her way into the clique.
She wants to live with them, but they make up a fake excuse about there being zoning rules that limit four vampires to a house. Then she tries to support a depressed Nadja after the bar burned down from the fire Nadja started. The guide can’t get through to her, so she suggests maybe it is a hex. She asks Nadja if she has been unkind to anyone in her past. Nadja is in denial that she could have possibly hurt anyone, let alone the Guide.
The Guide knows witchcraft, so it would make sense that she placed this “hex” on Nadja. But is the hex even real? Or did the Guide just say that to scare Nadja into realizing her own selfish behaviors?
Now the Roast is where we see things shift for the Guide.
At the roast she tells Baron that Guillermo was the one who set him on fire, because she felt bad that he wasn’t in on the joke. She mentions how bad it feels to not feel included. But then she also tells the Baron that Guillermo is a Van Helsing. This I believe is purposeful.
They have neglected her, given her nothing to actually guide, and left her aimless. She ends up apologizing and admitting to Nandor and Nadja that she told the Baron that Guillermo burned him. But she purposefully leaves out that she told the Baron about Guillermo's Van Helsing blood, too.
In the end, she is an underling for the Vampiric Council. She will not risk everything for these vampires, because her loyalties lie with the Supreme Vampiric Council. I am theorizing that she may end up selling Guillermo out to show her loyalty to the Supreme Vampiric Council and as a way of getting some revenge on the vamps for how they’ve mistreated her. I believe it’s possible she could be working with this “mysterious, illustrious” vampire (possibly part of the Supreme Vampiric Council?) to lure Guillermo into a trap.
In the screen capture for the 9th episode, we see Guillermo and the Guide standing next to each other. I don’t believe the Guide has any good intentions towards Guillermo after seeing how she betrayed him by telling the Baron about his slayer blood.
I mean there’s only so long someone can put up with being left out of a friend group and being unappreciated.
Addition:
I mean, the Guide has barely been a part of the last few episodes. They added her to the main cast/opening credits but her character's only story so far is that she wants to be roomies with the vampires. She made no progress in her own story up until the Roast. She took matters into her own hands by divulging Guillermo's secrets.. and if she continues in that direction then she could very well become the villian. It just doesn't make sense to have so little story for a main cast member. They have to be taking a big jump with her character in these last two episodes. Otherwise the whole Nadja and Guide subplot will fall completely flat. And imagine Nadja's surprise when she finds out that the Guide was behind the hex?
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petersthree · 8 months
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ALSO ALSO can we just talk about how the documentary crew has been more actively present this season - esp in the premiere and finale?? We hear the producer’s voice in the premiere. Guillermo mentions pausing for the documentary crew to edit. We see Nandor & Laszlo preparing for their close up with the crew. The Guide gets those pauses for her flashbacks and Colin comments on the editing. Guillermo mentions how the crew followed them. Laszlo asks where they are to pull up footage and even knows the name of the crew member - we know one of them is named Ryan!!!
It’s so interesting to see because we’ve seen them develop and grow to care more about each other. But we’ve also seen that they have to acknowledge people outside their group (to varying degrees of success) - The Guide, Nadja’s Antipaxos family, Sean & Charmaine. And it’s even extended to the crew. Instead of being so background that the vampires forget they’re there, or for throwaway jokes about how one of them died during the process like in s1, they feel more like real people. Our characters know them, they know how they act, they know their names. They’re still faceless characters but the crew feels more real this season than they ever did before and I so think that’s intentional with how the vampires arcs have worked out this season.
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beansprean · 1 year
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Infodumps, nonsensicals, and foreshadows from the Guide!! Also I originally had cobwebs all over her in the first panel sketch but I forgot to add them back lol
My Familiar's Ghost part 21
Masterpost
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: 1a. The Guide jerks into frame, snatching up the corded earpiece of an old fashioned phone and leaning in to shout frantically into the attached mouthpiece, "Nadja?!" On the other side of the panel, split by a jagged line, Laszlo holds the receiver of a corded analog phone up to his ear and casually checks his nails, answering, "Fraid not, darling. We just need to pick the marvelous rat maze of your brain for information on your spooky little secretaries." Behind him, ghost Guillermo hovers nervously, scraps of black shadow swirling around his glow. 1b. The Guide deflates, now looking slightly irritated, and asks "The wraiths? What about them?" Laszlo gestures loosely with his free hand and replies, "I was wondering how exactly one is made; I was reading an excerpt in 'An Un-Erotic G-' The Guide interrupts with "'Guide to the Undead'? Oh, yeah, that book is crap." Laszlo prompts, "Crap full of gaps, if you'll care to fill them for me?" Guillermo gets increasingly fidgety and impatient behind him. 1c. The Guide explains, appearing to keep a count on her free hand, "Well, like other ghosts, they die. If they have any unresolved business, they cannot move on to whatever afterlife they prescribe to, etc. etc. They are compelled to cause torment to those who tormented them in life, and in their presence are overcome by powerful emotions like hate or resentment or l-" Guillermo jerks forward into Laszlo's space to interject, his hand going right through Laszlo's elbow. "But what's the trigger?! Why do some spirits become wraiths and some don't?!" Laszlo glares at him and frowns deeply, leaning away.
2a. The Guide suddenly brightens, smiling, free hand curling up daintily. She says, "Oh, hello, Guillermo! I am glad to hear you are safe and sound. Now, don't forget to register your title with the council. There's a lot of new openings right now, so lucky you! Your first year's dues-" Guillermo interrupts her again, shouting, "Stay on task, please!!" and flapping his hand impatiently through Laszlo's arm. Laszlo screws his face up uncomfortably at the noise, leaning as far away as he can, and turns the receiver outward so Guillermo can speak into it directly. 2b. The Guide grimaces, surprised by the outburst, and holds up a hand defensively. "Okay, okay, jeez. I do not understand how this can be so pressing. A spirit is just a reflection of one's state of being! Normally, a wraith is a wraith because something has severed the body's connection to the soul, like a deal with a demon or a haunted organ transplant or witchcraft..." Laszlo and Guillermo freeze and glance at each other in realization. /end ID
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