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beauty-and-passion · 1 year

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Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

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Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

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Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

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And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

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I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

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Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

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Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

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Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

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Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

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A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

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Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

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The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

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And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it��s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

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da-proti-toku-grem · 9 months

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I've been wanting to do this for some time and seeing @beeoftheanxieties reblogging the appreciation posts with the things she loves about each of them finally convinced me to do it <3

This started as a short list of reasons why I love them but it ended up being way longer than I expected so I'll put it under the cut

Nace

This man has no business being so hot but yet so sweet and cute and cuddly. He looks like he gives the best hugs ever (hopefully I can confirm this one day)

He looks like the shy one out of the five of them, but also seems like the kind of person that would be there for you through thick and thin, always listening and understanding

He said he wanted to be a vet and I think that's so cute

He looks so good with glasses

His tattoos are so cool and I need to have a close up of all of them asap. I'm still not over the fact that the sleeve tattoo goes up to his shoulder (and also the fact that *he* designed it like, talk about talent!)

Last but not least (and which might be my fav thing about him), HIS LAUGH. I swear his laugh is one of my favourite things ever, I could listen/watch him laughing all day and never get tired

Jan

Have you seen this man? He's absolutely gorgeous and his hair is amazing

Ngl the pics of him with the red jacket and the joker out hotline video changed me as a person

He's such a sweetheart

He loves cats (Igor my beloved <3)

I do love a math nerd tbh and the way he talks about maths is so fascinating

The way he seems so at ease every time he's playing the guitar, like he's in another world or something

Jure

I love when he smiles and only half his lip sticks up (like some sort of smirk? idk if that's the right word) (I might be projecting a little in this one because it's actually something that I do too because I don't know how to smile with my teeth, so I just smile with my lips closed and it always turns in this sort of smirk and people telling me that I look "too serious", but seeing people complementing his smile makes me less insecure :) )

Edit because I forgot to write this: He's such a mood, I love him

He's just the cutest, most adorable little kitty I wanna pamper him with little kisses

Absolute sunshine boy, I literally smile every single time I see a photo of him

I want to stroke his hair so bad, it looks so soft

He's so energetic and funny and feels like the kind of person that always tries to put a smile on your face (and succeeds)

His love for airplanes is so dear to me

THE MOLE ON HIS LIP (I already posted about it here, it's just so cute 🥹)

Kris

He's just a pretty princess <3

He slays so hard in every pic

I love his hair, especially when it was longer

He's a lesbian icon I don't make the rules

I need more of Kris singing, please and thank you

That freaking b&w striped sweater owns my mind okay?

I love how proud and happy he is of being half dutch and the smile on his face every time someone tells him to say something in dutch is so precious

He seems like the kind of person that messes with his friends (mostly Bojan lol) all the time but will probably start planning your murder if you mess with them

Bojan

Multitalented king and language georg <3

His voice is absolutely amazing

His hair (I know I've said this in all of them but I love all of their hairs so much)

Whatever the whole demoni scream thing is

The way he expresses himself (both talking and singing)

He's so charismatic and friendly and it warms my heart that he always tries to make sure everyone feels included in the conversations

My poor boy deserves better and I wanna fight everyone who's ever done anything bad to him

#i was so close not to post this #but my boys deserve all the love so here we are #i finished this at 2 am yesterday but i waited to post this today #joker out #j/o appreciation post #nace jordan #jan peteh #jure maček #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #mine #maca speaks

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apocalypticavolition · 7 months

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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 8: The Dragon Reborn

This post and every other one I'll write is full of nothing but spoilers for the whole of The Wheel of Time series, so don't keep reading if that's a problem.

Once again I forgot about chapter icons. Last chapter was the wheel icon, which is probably because of the prophecy and the way it defines much of the shape of the rest of the age. This time we have the dragon's fang icon because Rand is the Dragon Reborn.

As they approached the women’s apartments, Lan suddenly snapped, “Cat Crosses the Courtyard!”

And this is why militaries have all those horrible drills, because it's actually a really good way of making stupid bullshit into reflexive routine. Lan gets to enjoy being one of the very few people in the world who get to order the Dragon Reborn around without consequence because he's doing it for Rand's good instead of whatever the hell it was Cadsuane was going for.

Were they looking for all of us, or just me? Why all of us?

They've been looking for all three of you this whole time, Rand. I get that you'd think things have changed now that one of you is the definitive Dragon Reborn, but that wasn't a guarantee. Shame Moiraine didn't spend the last month reminding you of that.

“What have you brought the Amyrlin Seat today, Lan Gaidin? A young lion? Better you don’t let any Greens see this one, or one of them will bond him before he can take a breath. Greens like to bond them young.”

Well that's not rapey at all and it certainly isn't foreshadowing. Sorry Elayne, but fuck the Greens.

The Aes Sedai shook her head. “The world grows stranger every day. I suppose the blacksmith will wear a crown and speak in High Chant. Wait here.”

And this also isn't foreshadowing, but not in my blatant lies kind of way, but in a "Somebody refused to finish the man's character arc" kind of way.

“Do you now, boy?” She sounded almost amused.

Siuan and I have very similar senses of humor I think.

Three Aes Sedai. How many does it take to gentle a man? They sent a dozen or more after Logain. Would Moiraine do that to me?

That's a good question, Rand. We know that any thirteen Aes Sedai in general could successfully shield you, but I'm not sure we know that they could gentle you on top of that if they were absolutely the weakest of the weak. The Tower only needed six specific Aes Sedai to keep Rand shielded, so presumably seven more of that caliber could finish the job if not fewer. But could Moiraine and Siuan, the Wondergirls of a previous generation, do the job with just Verin? Maybe right now while Rand's weak, but possibly not up against him in his fullest.

“Lan has been teaching all the boys, Mother,” Moiraine replied calmly. “He has spent a little more time with this one than the others because he carries a sword.”

Has Lan been teaching Mat and Perrin offscreen? I'm not convinced: Moiraine might well be counting the early drills in the last book. Let's her cover for the embarrassment of Lan fucking with their schemes.

“Tam al’Thor left the Two Rivers as a boy, Mother. He joined the army of Illian, and served in the Whitecloak War and the last two wars with Tear. In time he rose to be a blademaster and the Second Captain of the Companions. After the Aiel War, Tam al’Thor returned to the Two Rivers with a wife from Caemlyn and an infant boy. It would have saved much, had I known this earlier, but I know it now.”

Moiraine's only slightly exaggerating about Tam being a boy - the Whitecloak War was when he was 17! Like Rand, I do wonder how she got this information. Were her Eyes-and-Ears able to access some kind of public records in Illian for her? "Wife from Caemlyn" probably came directly from Nynaeve because it's not something that would be easy to learn otherwise in this sort of setting and because it's the kind of detail that covers for Rand.

“Against Tear.” The Amyrlin Seat frowned slightly.

Kinda funny that Siuan is so pissed at everyone for thinking she still has Blue loyalties when she still clearly likes her own homeland despite it hating her. She's mature enough to let it go though.

“Lan has been at you. Listen to me, boy. In a few hours, Ingtar will leave to find the stolen Horn. Your friend, Mat, will go with him. I expect that your other friend—Perrin?—will go, also. Do you wish to accompany them?”

And she is a good Amyrlin. She doesn't try to put Rand on a leash but talks about the thing that it makes the most sense for him to be interested in and encourages him to go do it even though it means being free range.

Or you can stay here. No doubt Lord Agelmar will let you remain as a guest as long as you wish. I will be leaving today, as well. Moiraine Sedai will accompany me, and so will Egwene and Nynaeve, so you will stay alone, if you stay. The choice is yours.

That said, she does try to put her thumb on the scales by emphasizing that Rand's gonna be on her own. But this kind of emotional manipulation is a lot more human and barely manipulative than putting someone in a box, so I don't hold it against her.

“How am I supposed to learn?” he demanded. Moiraine and Verin just sat there, unruffled, watching him. Like spiders. “How? Moiraine claims she can’t teach me anything, and I don’t know how to learn, or what. I don’t want to, anyway. I want to stop. Can’t you understand that? To stop!”

This is one of those things where I really don't think the show's changes are working in its favor. While it's fair enough to take umbrage to the whole "women forfeit, men conquer" dynamic of channeling, making them both share the same dynamic and making people able to teach those of the opposite gender means that Moiraine's not doing much with Rand gets even stupider on her front in hindsight. Book Moiraine legitimately cannot help Rand on this front and has no way of doing so; of her failings in between this book and the last, this is not among them.

“I have always thought that was a bad saying,” Verin said suddenly. “There are birds that dive and swim. And in the Sea of Storms are fish that fly, with long fins that stretch out as wide as your outstretched arms, and beaks like swords that can pierce. . . .” Her words trailed off and she became flustered. Moiraine and the Amyrlin Seat were staring at her without expression.

This is about as close to acknowledging the existence of non-Satan-caused trans people as the books get, but frankly I'll take it because we need it. I very much embrace the headcanon that trans people who seem to channel the wrong half of the Source have occasionally popped up and that they're among the secrets the Red Ajah keeps from the general Tower to avoid having their mandate reexamined.

But yeah, while I think Verin is usually playing up her distractability, I think this is a legitimately careless interruption on her part since they're talking about one of her hyperfixations.

The Amyrlin Seat looked him straight in the eye and said, “Because you are the Dragon Reborn.” The void rocked. The world rocked. Everything seemed to spin around him. He concentrated on nothing, and the emptiness returned, the world steadied. “No, Mother. I can channel, the Light help me, but I am not Raolin Darksbane, nor Guaire Amalasan, nor Yurian Stonebow. You can gentle me, or kill me, or let me go, but I will not be a tame false Dragon on a Tar Valon leash.”

Poor Rand. This was probably the most effective of Ba'allsy's manipulations last book and it at least is paying dividends. Even Verin is like "Damn!" and she almost never does that.

Moiraine made a sound, and he glanced at her. She claimed Thom was not dead, but she had never offered any proof, and he could not see how any man could survive grappling hand-to-hand with a Fade.

Impressive that the thing which almost brings Rand out of the void after the first big blow to it is Moriaine being all genre savvy.

We were soon to be raised to sisterhood, and that night we stood attendance on the then Amyrlin. Her Keeper of the Chronicles, Gitara Moroso, was there. Every other full sister in Tar Valon was out Healing as many wounded as she could find, even the Reds.

The Tower probably hasn't been emptied of sisters like that since Hawkwing's siege, when the sisters were probably often required to stand the walls. And before that probably not since the Trolloc Wars.

‘He is born again! I feel him! The Dragon takes his first breath on the slope of Dragonmount! He is coming! He is coming! Light help us! Light help the world! He lies in the snow and cries like the thunder! He burns like the sun!’

This is kind of a weird Foretelling in the grand scheme of things because it's really more of a... Telling. No future tense. Guess the Wheel was lagging a little because of the Aiel War.

For years we searched, finding other clues, poring over the Prophecies. ‘He will be of the ancient blood, and raised by the old blood.’ That was one; there were others. But there are many places where the old blood, descended from the Age of Legends, remains strong.

This is a weird little detail because... Well, the Aes Sedai seem to be interpreting it poorly. The ancient blood is the blood descended from the AoL; the Aiel are the only ethnic group that resemble any specific populace from the old days. The old blood is just that from the dawn of the age, but Manetheren is about two centuries separated from the end of the War of the Shadow and specifically formed as a distinct identity because the Mediterranean was turned into a mountain range.

If you believe that, you are as much a fool as the Domani. Many there believe he is dead, or say they do, but I notice they still won’t risk naming him.

Do we ever learn why the people of Arad Doman think that the Dark One is dead? It's one thing to not believe in Shadowspawn if you don't live on the Borderlands, but to think that the Dark One is just dead, dead? Where on Earth did THAT belief come from?

A part of Lan’s instructions came back to him. Left hand on the hilt, he twisted the sword behind him, catching the scabbard in his right, then bowed, arms straight. “By your leave, Mother, may I depart this place?”

Also, does Rand ever give Egwene this level of respect? Just wondering.

She stared at the spot where the bird had been. There is a storm, and there isn’t. It means something. But what?

It means your power is metaphorical! World's about to be broken in half a thousand ways. Considering everything else that has happened since you left home, it's surprising that you're not figuring that out, Nynaeve.

I don’t know, Nynaeve. He came out as fast as if he had Heartsbane himself at his heels. As well he might, coming here with a sword at his belt. The Dark One should be the least of his worries after that. What is the world coming to? And him presented to the Amyrlin in her chambers,

NGL, I don't think Siuan and Moiraine's plan to make sure all three ta'veren are seen is half as slick as they think, because Perrin's visit probably isn't going to involve his axe and Mat is unconscious. It's blatantly apparent which boy is the special one, especially for Elaida who they know is on Moiraine's trail.

Mavra will have to get back to her own village. No village can do without its Wisdom for long. Nynaeve cringed inside. She had been gone months from Emond’s Field.

Only two and a half! But it's nice of Jordan to start seeding the various archway problems she's having now, especially since this is the most immediate of them.

I ought to dose myself with rannel and sheepstongue root, she thought sourly. It was the mixture she gave anyone who moped about and claimed they were sick, or behaved like a goose. Rannel and sheepstongue root would perk you up a little, and did no harm, but mainly it tasted horrible, and the taste lasted all day. It was a perfect cure for acting the fool.

You overestimate me, Nynaeve! If it's an upper, I could get hooked to it no matter how miserable it tasted!

It took an effort to face him, but she was sure her features were calm when she looked up at him. “I’m looking for Rand.” She was not about to admit to avoiding him. “We said all we need to say long ago, you and I. I shamed myself—which I will not do again—and you told me to go away.”

I love all of Lan's deeply dysfunctional relationships. Poor Nynaeve. She has her pride at least.

He shrugged in an offhand way. “It is nothing. Old, and useless, now. But there are those who would know it when they saw it. Show that, and you will have guestright, and help if you need it, from any lord in the Borderlands. Show it to a Warder, and he will give aid, or carry a message to me. Send it to me, or a message marked with it, and I will come to you, without delay and without fail. This I swear.”

Lan: Crap, is it gay if I give Rand a pin? I know, I'll give Nynaeve jewelry and then it's still straight. Right?

Man was red in the face and studying his pipe intently cuz he was hoping he and his wife were about to get invites into Rand's little orgies, just saying.

“Not long enough to hear anything I should not have,” the Aes Sedai replied smoothly. “We will be leaving soon. I heard that. You must see to your packing.”

Moiraine: Anything Lan has to say at any time is something I should hear if I choose to. But also I guess you can keep your dignity.

“They are more than old enough to be off apron strings,” Moiraine said dryly. “And you know very well why you could never do that. For one of them, at least. Besides, it would mean leaving Egwene to go to Tar Valon alone. Or have you decided to forgo Tar Valon yourself? If your own use of the Power is not schooled, you will never be able to use it against me.”

Moiraine: Well, some of your dignity.

The two of them never getting to square off, even if just as a friendly exercise instead of Nynaeve's actual plan to totally kill her, is a missed opportunity.

“Nearly, Nynaeve. I am almost sorry to be going. I don’t suppose we’ll have many chances in Tar Valon to wear the nice dresses Amalisa gave us.” She gave an abrupt laugh. “Still, Wisdom, I won’t miss being able to bathe without looking over my shoulder the whole time.”

Yeah those dresses are basically already gone, aren't they? By the time Egwene could wear any of them again if she wanted, she's been away from Tar Valon for months.

“You are a woman, now.” Nynaeve glanced at her unbraided hair, and Egwene resisted the urge to hurriedly twist it into a semblance of a braid. Aes Sedai wore their hair any way they wanted, but wearing hers loose had become a symbol of starting on a new life. “You are a woman,” Nynaeve repeated firmly. “We are two women, a long way from Emond’s Field, and it will be longer still before we see home again. It will be better if you simply call me Nynaeve.”

Nynaeve really desperately wants to chide Egwene over her hair but is trying to give her respect. And she only doesn't want to be called Wisdom so she won't feel guilty about what she's done, though really she probably shouldn't have been forced into being the Wisdom so young in the first place. It's good that Nynaeve is getting a new life too, where she can make her own decisions instead of being bound to the expectations of a conservative community.

“Egwene, that young man of yours is trying to come into the women’s apartments.” She sounded scandalized. “And wearing a sword. Just because the Amyrlin let him enter that way. . . . Lord Rand should know better. He is causing an uproar. Egwene, you must speak to him.”

Jesus Rand, did you get drunk in the last three pages?

She had heard the talk in the women’s apartments about a suitable wife for Rand. At first it had caused stabs of jealousy, and anger. He had been all but promised to her since they were children. But she was going to be an Aes Sedai, and he was what he was. A man who could channel. She could marry him. And watch him go mad, watch him die. The only way to stop it would be to have him gentled. I can’t do that to him. I can’t!

What the Egwene haters here miss is that "at first" stating that Egwene no longer feels jealousy and anger about the whole affair because she's moved on in a healthy fashion. Well, semi-healthy, since her Accepted test will be entirely about her fixation on the probability of having to fail Rand in some way.

“I have to see her,” Rand said stubbornly. “We’re leaving soon. Not soon enough for me, but I still have to see Egwene. We will get the Horn of Valere and the dagger back, and that will be the end of it. The end of it. But I want to see her before I go.” Egwene frowned; he sounded odd.

Yeah, you know what, I am going with drunk. Boy ran to drown his stress and/or himself in a keg, got shit-faced at noon, and is now belligerent as all hell.

The women were still watching, Egwene realized. Watching her as well as Rand. Waiting to see what she would do. So I’m supposed to deal with him, am I? Yet she felt her heart going out to him. His hair needed brushing. His face showed anger, defiance, and weariness. “Walk with me,” she told him.

She's already great at Amyrlining, huh? She's definitely gonna deal with Rand's bad behavior here, but she's not going to make a spectacle of it just because Ran did, and she's not going to be overly harsh because she gets that's he's going through a lot.

“I suppose—I suppose I’ll never see you again. I know you have to go to Tar Valon. I know that. And you’ll become an Aes Sedai. I am done with Aes Sedai, Egwene. I won’t be a puppet for them, not for Moiraine, or any of them.”

You know, for all that Siuan's soft power game is really the preferred approach, it does absolutely suck balls that she inadvertently put the panic of losing Egwene and Nynaeve as friends into his mind. Like his behavior is not remotely her fault or anything (it's his) but it's pretty clear he's acting out like this because the sudden deadline looming freaked him the hell out.

“Listen to me, you great ox. I am going to be an Aes Sedai, and I’ll find a way to help you. I will.”

And despite Rand's whining, Egwene does repeatedly find ways to help Rand.

Tears blurred her vision as she threw her arms around him. “You take care of yourself,” she said fiercely into his chest. “If you don’t, I’ll—I’ll. . . .” She thought she heard him murmur, “I love you,” and then he was firmly unwrapping her arms, gently moving her away from him. He turned and strode away from her, almost running.

I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING.

I'm so happy that this isn't the end of their friendship because goddamn.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #lan mandragoran #ingtar shinowa #kajin #leane sharif #moiraine damodred #verin mathwin #siuan sanche #nynaeve al'meara #egwene al'vere #agelmar jagad

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badsalmonella · 9 months

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pls post your thoughts on camelot!

Hihihi!!! Sorry this has been sitting in my ask for a bit I've been trying to find the time and energy to put down my thoughts!

The general overview is, I think I definitely see the faults people had with it, I think the book is hard to fix and even with the changes there are certain beats they HAVE to hit because of the music, but I also think it has so many gems and this show is so well acted like I find the good far out weighs the bad for me. It's just really engaging grand theater to meee it can be so silly and fun but also really hit with these very earnest moments 🥺, also considering all the drama and tragedy it is surprISINGLY HILARIOUS!! I was giggling so much in act 1. Like RIP to the person sitting next to me who had to see me grip my face and GASP every time something wild happened lmaooo. GOD JUST AHHHHHH SOME OF THOSE MOMENTS WENT SO HARD!!!! Here I'll try my best to narrow some down jk I did a horrible job at narrowing down

- AH that imagery of the single tree in the snow at the very top of the show. Lovely.

-the entire scene with the wedding gone wrong is just soo good and like a mini show on its own with its own little arc. I was so charmed by Phillipa and Andrew's chemistry fr fr so good! I could probably fill a whole post with just moments from this bit!

-When Guinevere is below the right side of the stage (I was sitting to the left)and when she hears the knights refer to him as King her head just slooooooooowly pops into view like 👁️👁️

-Genny: WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME YOU WERE KING?!?!?

Arthur: after I sang abt the weather.

-King Arthur post Merlin death 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭

-ok but the little orchestra nod to Follow Me during Merlin's death. Thank you. They did that for me. It's not much but I appreciate it.

-"I gotta pace to think. I gotta be doing something. Merlin told me something but I got distracted and forgot" bestie you can fit SO much ADHD IN THIS KING.

- C'est Moi entrance was a slay

. 10/10 would let that armor burn my retinas again 👌🏼

-"I deserve. Your harshest. punISHHHHHHHMEEEEEEENNNTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lancelot, bestie there is something so wrong with you I'm obsessed.

- Genny (To Lance): ...And do you think you've perfected your soul??

- The Lusty Month of May, also a SLAY she is SO hot! I'm sorry but Guinevere is at her most wild and unhinged she is doing shit that had me going BANANAS when she puts on that pink dress, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

-after Lusty Month of May the knights were chatting but I became deeeeeply focused on ensemble member Matias trying trying to balance a mug on his forehead. At first one person was watching, then two, then eventually Guinevere joined in. Like gjdhks I kept giggling.

Arthur(also to Lance): pleasesayno 👀👀👀👀👀👀

-TAKE ME TO THE FAIR. WAS SO FUCKING FUN. I WAS DOING EVIL GOOFY LITTLE GIGGLES THE WHOLE TIME. GENNY IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BULLY LANCELOT ON THIS BLOG. AND THAT'S BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS A DEEPLY FUCKED UP FORM OF FOREPLAY FOR HER.

-Genny: ~SIIIIIRRRRRR LIIIIIONNNEELLLLL~~~ 😏😏😩😩😩💦💦💦

Lionel: Ma'am. 😐

Genny: u g h 🙄

-I COULD MAKE A WHOLE POST ABT THIS ONE TOO LIKE SOSOSOSO FUNNY.

-Guinevere kept having mini moments of chemistry with like the ensemble member played by Holly Gould, and like I THOUGHT MAYBE I WAS CRAZY, but at the end of act 1 my friend also turned to me and was like "yo what is GOING ONNNN with those two??? 👀👀👀👀" Gjhdskgsbsvs a bi icon. 🩷💜💙

- ANYWAYS Not Pelly AND Genny rooting for the Lancelot downfall!!! Gjsgdgdgs

-ok but the moment when Lance finds the pages that Genny specifically drafted....bestie you could see the proposition baking in HIS brain.

-"So weird Genny when you don't like most people you're still civil with them what's going on hereee???" 👀👀👀 What IS going on here???

- Arthur: Will you stop this?

Genny: If the King commands it....

👁️👁️🔥🔥 oK. THEY WERE INSANE FOR THAT ONE. NOT THE LOOK THEY SHOT EACH OTHER. anyways bully them both. I support it.

- THE SWORD FIGHTING WAS LIKE ACTUALLY SO GOOD OMG. WE LOVE FIGHT CHOREO

- okokokok but when one of the knights pushed down Lancelot's squire and he shot that knight the DEADLIEST GLARE and tHEN HE PUSHED THE KNIGHT DOWN AT THE END OF THEIR FIGHT. 🔥👌🏼🤌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 letSSSSS GOOOOO!!!

-WHEN KING ARTHUR GOT INTO THE FIGHT AND TWIRLED OUT TWO SWORDS HALF WAY THROUGH?!?!!!!! AND THEN LANCE LIKE STRAIGHT UP ON STAGE CAUGHT HIS SECOND SWORD??? BEING TOSSEDDDD OVER TO HIM??!!!!!! LIKE I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW COOL THIS WAS???????

-Arthur(whispering desperately in Lancelot's ear mid fight) : HEY NO HARD FEELINGS THIS IS JUST FOR MORALE

Fhhdjshdjsh

- ARTHUR STOPPING THE FIGHT TO ASK LANCELOT ABOUT BAGUETTES ?!??? THEY ARE LITERALLYYYY MY BLORBOOOSSS!!!!

-KING ARTHUR GETS KNOCKED OUT CUZ HE SAW HIS FAVOURITE BIRD AND GOT DISTRACTED. I AM NOT JOKING.

-anyways scene where he gets "resurrected" was the moment. It was amazing. Everything was silent. The spotlight was ON. I LOVED IT.

- RIP that Lance Genny gaze tho 💀💀💀 RIGHT in front of Arthur's salad.

- Lancelot: this might be our only moment alone together I have to tell you---

Genny: DON'T.

OoOooOOoOOOoO the way I am RIPPING OUT MY SEAT CUSHION.

-Before I Gaze At You Again, my beloved. My underrated moment 💖💖

-WHEN KING ARTHUR TURNED HIS BACK TO THE AUDIENCE. AND DRAMATICALLY THREW HIS CAPE ON THE THRONE. THEN SAID "propositionnn....." THE WAY I WENT DEAD SILENT. THE WAY I HELD MY BREATH. HE WAS LIKE I AM OOOVERRRRRE THIS LOVE TRIANGLE SHIT. HE DID NOTTTT COME TO PLAY. WHERE THE F U C K WAS ANDREW BURNAP'S TONY NOM????

-Anyways hot girls know the Act 1 monologue is fire. It's MY Coachella. Zero regrets for screaming and clapping for that one.

- OK NOT ACT 2 OPENING WITH LANCELOT SINGING IN FRENCH AND GUINEVERE BEING SOOOOO OVER IT.

-Anyways If Ever I Would Leave You immaculate. Amazing. Spectacular. The best. Wow. Shout out to that woman in front of me who turned to her family and whispered " I know this one...."

-THE ALMOST HAND TOUCH oWuGh . 😩

- *Dramatic Mordred reveal*"I GUESS THE CHAINS OF WEDLOCK ARE SO HEAVY YOU NEED THREE PEOPLE TO CARRY IT" if it were up to me....that would be an applause moment.

- WHAT DO THE SIMPLE FOLK DO WHST DO THE SIMPLE FOLK DO OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MYGOD.

-first of all leading with calling Henny your business partner ARTHUR BUDDY WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY DOING?????

-Andrew Burnap literally RAMPED UP the teary eyes when he told Genny like "I know you get sad. Don't you ever want someone to talk to???" HE CHOSE VIOLENCE. ON ME.

-AND LIKE I WAS ON THE SIDE I HAD PERFECT VIEW OF PHILLIPA'S FACE. IT WAS SOSOSOSOSO HEART BREAKING

-AND LIKE THEY WEREN'T EVEN LOOKING AT EACH OFHER!!!!! THEY COULDN'T EVEN SEE HOW EMOTIONAL THEY BOTH GOT IN THAT MOMENT!!!!!! I AM SHOOTING MYSELF INTO SPACE. MOMENTS LIKE THIS ARE WHY I LIIIIIIIIVE FOR SHOW IN THE VIV BEAUMONT LIKE OH MY GOOOODDDD. THE LOVE IS THERE!!!!! THEY JUST CAN'T SEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!

-anyways their dance was so sweet. So playful. So lovely.

-When I heard his "Genny..." On the album I thought he was tired. Like "genny...plz no more verses of this song... 😮‍💨" BUT I WAS WRONG! THE FULL CONTEXT IS HIM JUST OPENLY HAVING A MOMENT OF PURE LOVE AND ENDEARMENT FOR GENNY. I'M

-MORDRED . WAITING IN THE BACK. FOR THINGS TO START GOING WELL ....BUT NOT TOO WELL BEFORE REVEALING THAT ARTHUR FINALLY GOT A LETTER FROM MORGAN LE FAY!!!!!!

-aND THEN DROPPING THAT LANCELOT IS GUARDING THE QUEEN THAT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

-OWUGHGOWUGHEOUWGEOWUGEGW NOT ARTHUR'S LONG PAUSE THEN "Ok......oK. OK. ok. This is fine. " Gjjdhdjshshsj

- FIE ON GOODNESS. WOW. WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS TO BE THE STAGING STAND OUT MOMENT BUT GODDAMN. IT'S AMAZING HOW THEY BUILD ON TENSION AND INTERWEAVE ALL THOSE SCENES. IT'S ALL HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE.

-The scene with Lance and Genny. Oh. MY LORD. The confession and moment where he finally admits he can't surpass being a human man. How that is the moment that I think Guinevere like is really really like "ohhh we about to do something stuff tonight" HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE after his shift gjdhhsh BUT THEN STARTED WHIPPING OUT THE FRNECH LOVE CONFESSIONS LIKE??!?!!!!! HE WAS INSANE FOR THAT ONE!!! LITERALLY. WHERE WAS THAT WHORE BEHAVIOR IN THE BIBLE???? "I SERVE GOD AND KING ARTHUR FIRST 😔" AND THEN HE PULLED THAT MOVE!!!! 🥴🥴🥴 I'M YELLING

-even though I like knew that was gonna happen. Like WHY DID THEIR KISS MAKE ME GASP?! Gjhdjshs THEY DID IT!!! THEY HAD SO MUCH TENSION. A R G H . anyways............. I'm gonna be respectful and not comment on the ressst of that scene 👀

- SCOTLAND. 🔥

-Anyways Morgan's scene is SO brief but like DAMN. She makes an impression. She is sO COOL. I'd actually kill for a cool fanfic about her and past with Arthur. When she said something about 'I can't wait for them to make all these scientific discoveries but like things won't change with humanity and I'd like to see your face when you make that realization ' (I'm so sososo so sorry that was AWFUL paraphrasing but like IT SLAMMED. AND AGAIN. ARTHUR WAS FACING OUR SIDE OF THE STAGE. HIS EXPRESSION. OHHHH BABYYYY)

-I LOVED YOU ONCE IN SILENCE WAS SUUUCHHHHHH A SCENE OH MY GOD. AND LIKE THEY CUT THE SONG SHORT???? WHY THE SCENE WAS SOSOSOSOS GOOD????

-Poor Lancelot tho. Rejected after it all. Like truly. Bestie. I'm sorry. This narrative hates you. Maybe you'll get nice things in my fanfiction 😔 his FAAAACEEE!!!!

-ANYWAYS WE NEEEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW LANCELOT DU LAC SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF MORDRED. LIKE TRULY LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR'D THAT CHILD WITH A BACKHAND. I GAGGED. IT WAS SOSOSOSO FUNNY I'M SORRY.

-Im not going to lie if there is one bad thing I will say, it is that I am SO disappointed with how Guenevere was staged. Like There is SO much going on in that song, but not much going on onstage. And with how well they did Fie On Goodness like I was low key gooped with how weak the staging for Guenevere was sorry.

-Anyways when Pelly says "I know I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous" like I 🥺🥺🥺🥺"BUT IT'S GENNY" like then he folded over and started crying like oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺noooooo

- if you made it this far congratz there's still so much more because oh my god that last scene

- The deep sadness that just hangs over these scenes oh my goD.

- The the the the the the 🥺🥺🥺 the way Lancelot and Arthur have to bitterly come to terms that they are now warring enemies and they can't guarantee either's protection, and they know they'll have to kill each other's men like 💔

- NOT GENNY'S HORNY ASS GETTING SENT TO A CONVENT. SHE ONLY we can only hope GOT ONE CHANCE TO CUM AFTER ALL THAT??!?!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE HER A NUN!!! NOOOOOOO!!!

-Anyways THE I ALWAYS LOVED YOU SCENE COMES WITH TOO MANY BANGER QUOTES I DON'T THINK I CAN GET THEM ALL.

Arthur: For what it's worth I've always loved you

Genny: 😤 FOR. WHAT. IT'S. WORTH????

(Valid girl)

-But then.... I loved you too when you sang that sssssssstupid song about the weather 🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💖💖💖

-THE HUG. THAT HUG WAS SO HEART BREAKING. THAT WAS A GOOD FUCKINGGF HUG.

-not YOU NEED TO LEAVE I CAN'T LET LANCE SAVE YOU TWICE. 🥺

-AND THEN RUNNING IN FOR THAT FINAL KISS THANK FUCKING GODDDDD!!!!!!

-But then Arthur sitting in defeat with his sad floppy bangs after :((( THEN LIGHTING UP WHEN THE KID MENTIONS THE ROUND TABLE OH 🥺💖

-GREAT FUCKING SHOW. I LOVE IT THROUGH IT ALL. IT WAS BI4BI4BI. HIT THE SHOWERS BESTIESSSS!!!!

#do NOT click that read more unless you MEAN IT!!!!#Anon #ask #camelot musical #camelot

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shieldagentnatasharomanoff · 7 months

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So it's my birthday and that means it's also the two year anniversary of me coming onto Tumblr :D it's been a blast and as this is what I did yesterday I want to shout out some of the wonderful people I met and friends I made on the way.

@supremestrangeness whose a brilliant writer and always seems to know how to carry a story endlessly yes...anding my silly whims and ideas. Nat loves the eldritch mess (in all his forms) and I am incredibly glad and ever greatful for your friendship!!

@cherryfinolahobbes anyone who says OC's shouldn't be part of fandoms should go and check out this blog right here. I don't think I've ever seen a muse woven through a fandom with so much care. The mun is just as wonderful, ever patient and happy to listen to my antics while go tackling house hold tasks. I wish we would chat more. I need to make more time for that!! (Also she's got brilliant recepies and food tips, honestly how can you not love that?)

@strxngemxgick I know this muse and mum haven't been around for a while. But they are such an infinitely wonderful and talented person. They've sparked my joy for artistic language and long form posts when there's a partner that matches the enthusiasm and length. I got to explore a softer side and more tragic stories with Nat in all our writing ant it is truly delightful. I hope they will one day decide to come back but even outside of Tumblr the mun is always considerate and so supportive. I'm always happy when they have a minute to chat.

@prplhawk As a fellow country person I am so happy you go along with all the silly AU ideas with a snap of the finger. The mun is amazing and such a flexible writer they catch their muse from silly moments to full fledged angst blood and gore. I miss you!!!! Let's write more crazy AU things!!!

@resignedworkaholics I've literally known nothing about James Bond when I met this lovely Q. And somehow a whole new spy world AU was born. I love the adorable sillyness of these two so much and I'm truly happy we get to write these stories. I know you've got tons going on. But I hope you're well and know you can reach out at anytime.

@ssolessurvivor If you ever need a friend. Logan is the one to call. Again. An amazing OC built and laced into so many worlds with a flexibility that still makes my head spin. I'm having so much fun with this wonderful little flirty friendship thing we have created and I can't wait for you to come back. I hope your wedding goes amazingly and you have the best honeymoon!!!

@seesbetterfromadistance My very first writing partner on this platform. Then he forgot about me XD but that's fine. Part of a very big platform and coming back after a while. I adore your Clint and the way you capture him so effortlessly! The mun is also amazingly talented in his craft and I love it when you share all your fotographs in an excited spam even though I can't always answer simultaneously. I hope that whatever is happening you keep that joy alive :) I don't think I've ever met a person this excited about a cactus in bloom and I am so glad you took me along for the ride (because I was very excited about that cactus then too!!!) I wish you well and hope you return for more writing shenanigans sometime :)

@smertzimy I miss our found fur family. Especially with these two tragic characters. They deserve all the love (and pets) they can get. Watching Eurovision this year has been a blast with the great commentary provided XD and I hope that it will be just as great next year. The mun always finds the greatest memes and pictures and the icons are on point!! I hope you have the grandest time and we find more of it to write again.

@esotericdescent / @thiefofcrows Is absolutely amazing! Please go check out his multimuse if you are even remotely interested in the eldritch and supernatural. But on top of that he is my Main Kaz Brekker (yes I write Inej Ghada on a different blog but this is my blog and my birthday and I get to shout about how much I love whomever I want for as much as I want here.) He is incredibly talented and I adore plotting with him. I am a massive Crows / Literature fan / overall nerd and this mun gets to suffer through it all and meets it with the greatest enthusiasm. I love the stories we built and the complexity I get to write without ever having to think twice if 'its alright to write this' because fuck yes it is!!! Thank you for your friendship and support of all the fun ideas and picture spams you get :)

------------------------------------

Regardless of this up there. Thank you if you've stuck around, written, discussed, interacted and lived with me through another crazy year. The world isn't any easier but I know there are safe spaces and people to escape too. Be kind to each other and have a great day. I'm certainly planning on enjoying today to it's fullest (as I try with other days even if it isn't always easy)

#ooc: the widow without her bites #long post #gushing about my frienda #birthday post #i love you all!

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areweevercameraready · 1 year

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a little snippet...

A/N: so....i actually have...... maybe 100,000k words unpublished with the boys in human au.,.... and since the human au infodump, i've been wondering if i should post things from the spinoff au. i asked a friend and she suggested i post at least a bit since there Were Folks who enjoyed these characters. im hugging everyone who has been keeping up :') thank you and i love you and you don't know how much this means to me, that people like my work.

i do plan on updating more than beliefs, though as you can probably tell, updates are pretty slow. i've had big weird life changes over the past three or so years, which is kinda sad, since i used to be able to update chivalry literally once a week :'D but thank you all for sticking with me through it!! i'm hoping, once i'm done writing my thesis, i can get back to updating MTB more often. i've had the whole thing plotted in my head for a while and you all deserve to see more of macbeth, along with where he was during like. all of chivalry.

heads up that this is NOT going on AO3 — it's a bit far from the actual fandom space so I'm really hesitant to put it up there. it'll only be here! somewhat related, but i might spruce up this blog layout. the banner image is kind of old/i don't like the anatomy, and same with the icon. and i just took a look at the blog and went "wow the text is smaller than i remember it being..." so that's a sign that it's Too Small! time for a change probably.

Words: 7,615

WARNINGS: descriptions of anxiety disorder, descriptions of past child abuse, suicidal/depressive thoughts, someone's ankle breaks (don't run in heels, kids!), alcohol and drunkenness

if i forgot anything, please let me know! this is only one chapter of a longer thing (i'm still on the fence about posting all of it but frankly, if i do revamp this blog, i straight fuckin might. i don't plan on publishing these novels for market consumption, but i would be happy to know if folks out there enjoyed them :') )

enjoy the snippet! <3

Eric Yuan hadn't considered himself lovable in a long, long time.

The anxiety disorder was just scraping the surface. There was the legal battle he'd gone into against his parents for custody over Gavin. He was so responsible it was irresponsible, sleeping odd hours, sometimes none at all, and living off of the cheapest coffee he could find to keep himself awake. There was the lack of time, the long hours of work to pay for the apartment and his and Gavin's lives, between working at the bar and at the restaurant, trying to pull together something to keep them afloat. He survived off of lunch and, when tips were good, the occasional dinner.

Gavin had noticed, of course, but he was nice enough to not say anything. Eric tried to be as honest as he could about how sometimes they couldn't get new games or new things, how he would have to stay late at night at work. If Eric was thankful for anything, it was how understanding Gavin was. That kid rolled with as many punches as were thrown and while Eric knew he shouldn't have to, knew that his brother deserved a better upbringing than the shit that their parents and now the world were putting them through, he also recognized that this was the best he could do.

He tried to hide himself in work, two jobs that provided enough money to keep them going. Honestly, if he’d talked with his managers and budgeted hours differently, he could get by with just the bartending job. But the days without work were spent taking Gavin to school, watching Gavin at home, laying on the couch and staring at the ceiling. He had to have something to bury himself in so he wouldn’t be stuck with his thoughts, the ones that promised danger, contempt, building paranoia and anxiety until he choked on his own breath. Thoughts that promised a kinder world. On the other side.

If he killed himself, Gavin would go right back to their parents, and Eric had to stay alive if only to prevent that. That was….that was the only reason.

Sometimes, he wondered if Gavin knew, because on nights like that the kid always managed to find his way into Eric's bed. He'd crawl in and snuggle between Eric's arms and tell him he had a nightmare. Eric never knew how honest he was being, but he never turned the offer down.

He had to keep alive. So he did.

And like, man worked a lot. Often, too much. How the fuck was he supposed to keep up with the world around him if he barely used his social media, didn't watch any of the new content put out in recent years, didn't engage with new platforms. Well, he had a Twitter, but that was just to look at funny memes. Those were his favorite development in recent years. Twitter also helped keep up with the news somewhat, but he didn’t exactly pay attention to that. Also, cat videos, those were important to him.

Yeah, he was fairly disconnected, but what else was new and what could you do.

Eric Yuan's life flipped when he was opening the bar at 4 p.m. on a Wednesday. He wasn't an owner or manager, but he was a shift lead. The most dependable shift lead, if you asked his manager, and while he often told Eric that he was pretty reliable, it wasn’t as though Eric processed that kind of praise. He did know that he got the most done, and was the most efficient, because he could take that kind of metric comparison. But, like. Most reliable? He didn’t know how true that was. Eric liked to take the opening shifts, helped get home at a reasonable enough hour to see Gavin to sleep and for him to sleep enough to take the lunch shifts at his other job.

The opening shift consisted of a few things. Making sure dishes were racked for the night, that the trash was all arranged and the bins were out in the alley, that bottles that looked like they were going to go empty had restocks close by. It was slow and quiet, for shift leads, but it was perfect for Eric. He liked to turn on some music and walk around, working efficient and quick enough usually to have a few minutes of quiet before the bartenders started showing up.

The alley behind his bar was more like a driveway than anything, wide enough just for one car. Most of the time, the neighboring businesses would just put their bins back here during work hours.

While opening on this day, though, Eric noticed a man running. He'd turned the sharp corner near the bar and hurried partway down the block, panting as if he'd been running a while. Eric actually pulled his own bins back as the man passed him. Then promptly tripped. What idiot runs in heels, anyway?

The man tried to get back up, but a few steps proved his ankle injured enough for him to collapse again. And that's when he looked up, frantically looking around for help, and his eyes locked with Eric's.

Eric waved, ever so slightly. And, well. He's always been the type to help someone who needed it. He didn't know what the man was running from, but it seemed that time was of the essence. He jogged over and picked the man up easily, making sure he didn't grab the man's dreadlocks accidentally beneath his arm, and hurried him into the bar. At least the dude was pretty light, and he let Eric pick him up, wrapping his arms around Eric’s shoulders.

The first and only real thing Eric noticed was that he smelt a little floral. Must have been perfume or something. The man wasn’t wearing clothes that Eric would have called casual, especially with the heels. A fall like that must have hurt his ankle.

"Thank you," the man whispered, and Eric noticed how gentle his voice was, how lofty and warm. "Close the door, please, they can't see me."

Eric didn't know who the fuck "They" was, but Eric kicked the door closed on his way in. Just as he did, too, he heard the sound of footsteps at the end of the alley. Eric helped the man hide behind the bar, out of view of the door, and shushed him quietly as a knock sounded on the door.

He wiped his hands on his apron, stepping back towards the door. He paused before opening it only to prepare his face, so he could open it with the deadliest glare. And there were. People. There. Were many people. Many with cameras. All looking fairly out of breath.

How did that guy outrun a whole ass crowd?

The man who had knocked was haggard, taller than Eric but with an obviously lankier build, wheezing as he asked, “Have you seen anyone come up this road?”

He sounded kinda desperate. Eric shook his head slowly, cogs working in his head as he put together a cover story. “No, I’ve just been trying to open up shop. I took the bins out,” he gestured to the trash bins, set alongside the wall. “But I didn’t see anyone then. If someone was out there, they could have run past while I was stocking.”

The man nodded, either willing to accept that lie or too frantic to look too deep into it. Eric watched with sharp eyes as he and the group looked up and down the street. He didn’t think this concerned him, though, and he wanted to check back in on the absolute rando’ he’d just let into the bar. So he nudged the guy’s hand.

“I think the candy shop over there’s open, around that corner.” Eric pointed to the end of the alley. “If someone ran past, they could have seen them. Other than that though, I don’t have anything, and I’ve gotta get back to opening.”

Just a few well-placed white lies. The man at the door nodded and motioned the group to leave without another word. Eric let the door slam behind them.

Well. Then. He exhaled slow, a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, then turned to the bar counter.

The way the bar was arranged was such that there was a peninsula counter, sticking out of the wall with seats arranged on all sides. On one side, too, was a small stage. Often, they would just play music. Sometimes they had performers, live musicians, and every Thursday was comedy night for local comedians. In June, they have a small drag show every Friday, and in December, they have a run of charity shows. There are still fliers and decorations up from the last one; Eric should take them down while he’s opening.

The man who he’d snuck in slowly peeks his head around the counter. There was something awfully familiar about him, like Eric had definitely seen this dude before, but he isn’t attuned to the daily gossip. Maybe it was just because the man was pretty as could be, eyes a warm brown that lingered around Eric before darting back at the door. His brows were perfectly shaped. Eric could see a little heart on his cheek, too, and silver decorations in his dreadlocks. Very, very pretty.

The man scan the area, see Eric going around to take the chairs out from where they’ve been stacked in the corner. And he asks, in a voice almost more delicate than Eric could have imagined, “Are they gone?”

“Yeah,” Eric said, setting down the barstools as he went around the bar’s lounge area. “They stalkers or something?”

As soon as Eric said the people chasing him were gone, the man sighed, standing up all the way and cracking his neck. He scooted to the sink behind the counter to wash his hands, which was fair. It wasn’t like the bar ground was the cleanest, even just before opening.

Someone like this dude, this put together and manicured and astoundingly beautiful, shouldn’t have had to put his hands on the bar’s fuckin’ ground.

“Basically stalkers. Paparazzi,” the man sighed.

“Paparazzi?” Eric asked, looking back at the man.

Was this dude fucking famous? Eric couldn’t recognize him. Damn, he was that far removed from things, that he couldn’t recognize an entire celebrity.

The man must have realized now that Eric hadn’t known who he was, because his grin turned sheepish as he wiped his hands on a towel. “Yep! I’m, uh. Songbird? That’s my stage name. And my YouTube channel.”

That name rang, like, literally no bells in Eric’s head. Figures, though. He rarely watched Youtube.

They stood in relative silence for a few beats before the man tried again. “Cadence? Cadence Beaulieu?”

“Oh,” Eric said, and it must have been obvious how he didn’t know who the fuck this Cadence dude was, because Cadence laughed a little in his face.

“You’re cute,” Cadence said, limping out around the bar, holding onto the bar’s side. “I don’t get that much anymore.”

“Cool.” Eric instinctually hurried over, holding Cadence’s arm and waist as he helped him onto one of the bar’s seats, but his head was reeling from the idea of a famous celebrity calling him cute. Like? That didn’t just happen. Did it? This guy was fucking famous?

What the fuck was he supposed to say? How do you talk to famous people? Eric helped him settle into the seat before asking, “Do you want water or something?”

“No, I’m good,” Cadence smiled at him.

Eric was going to loose his mind, he got called cute by a famous dude and now he’s looking at the famous dude and realizing how cute the famous guy was. He hadn’t paid attention to that earlier, too preoccupied with getting the guys at the door to leave, but now that he was actually looking at this guy—his anxiety was about to start kicking in, hard, he could tell. What if he made an ass of himself in front of the famous dude? The incredibly pretty famous dude.

“Cool,” Eric looked down, at the bar, and whistled a little. “If you want, you can, uh, stay here for a bit, until your car comes?”

He figured the famous dude isn’t driving around himself.

Cadence nodded. “If that’s okay,” he murmured, taking out his phone. “I can stay outta your way, then.”

Slowly, Eric nodded, too. He had to get the extra drinks ready. Finish opening up. And. He couldn’t really. Process? What was happening. He just thought he was helping someone up off the street, having tripped, and….Wait.

“Wait, how’s your ankle?” he tried to swallow his anxiety, looking back at Cadence, who seemed to be idling on his phone.

Cadence looked back up at him, then at his ankle. He was wearing strappy heels, flowy pants, a tight shirt, and an old oversized jacket, and none of these looked like clothes that were good to be running around in. Especially those heels. Eric didn’t know much about heels but he figured they might be an inch? And that was probably enough to fucking break a leg. Rude to stare, though. So he just. Averted his eyes back to the glasses he was stacking for later.

This guy was so fucking pretty. Eric was holding him earlier. He’d carried him—Eric had deadlift carried a whole ass celebrity.

“Probably sprained,” Cadence said with a sigh. “When I get home, I can ice it. I don’t think it’s fully broken, though, I could put a little weight on it.”

Now, they had ice in the box. Eric grabbed one of the spare bags for their limes and filled one with ice, part of their protocol for when drunkards would hurt themselves. He wrapped it in one of the clean towels and, once the Grey Goose was restocked, brought it over to Cadence. Who took it. Gratefully. It seemed.

“Thanks,” Cadence gave him a smile, which like. Eric still didn’t really know how to feel about this.

“No problem,” he said. “Sorry, uh. For, uh, being quiet. And not knowing who you were.”

Because like, that felt like something he should apologize for, you know? If Cadence is used to people recognizing him on the streets and some level of respect because of it, then maybe Eric treating him like a regular person (maybe even ignoring him, since he’s just sitting in the corner) might be rude? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know the fucking etiquette for talking to famous people, this isn’t a problem he’s ever had!

“It’s okay, no, don’t even worry,” Cadence giggled—that sound, that fucking sound was so soft, what the hell?—and waved his hand dismissively.

“Okay,” Eric nodded. And he didn’t have much to. Like. Add?

So he turned around and went back to restocking the bar. And he didn’t say anything about how he could feel Cadence watching him. He didn’t say anything, but he could feel Cadence’s eyes on his back every so often, when he’d look up from his phone.

Maybe he was tweeting something about him. Eric didn’t know much about social media so if he did get tweeted about, he definitely wasn’t going to be able to find it. Or maybe he was texting his famous friends about the weirdo bartender who’s just ignoring him as he lifts the crates out of the storage room and cracks them open.

There’s no way this dude would be bullying him over shit like this for no reason, right?

Regardless, Eric wasn’t about to start a conversation and ask. He just knew that the guy was staring at him. For what felt like an hour. Realistically, only like, half an hour. But for fucking forever, man.

At some point, though, it had to end. After about twenty minutes, Cadence stood up, wobbling a little on his hurt ankle. Eric, who’d been restocking the limes, looked up, then stood up.

“Your car here?” he asked.

“Yep,” Cadence smiled a little at him. “When does this place open, anyway?”

“Uh,” Eric frowned, checking the clock on the wall. “In ten.”

Where the fuck are his bartenders, anyway? They’re supposed to get here at around now. Fuckers.

Cadence nodded, though, noting the time. “Glad this all happened before hours, then. Wouldn’t want it to get too crazy in here for you,” he looked at the clock on the wall, then back at Eric, with a small smile that made Eric’s already quick-beating heart skip a beat thinking of how his eyes creased with gentle happiness.

“Uh. Yeah,” Eric tried to smile, too, but something told him it looked a little more like a grimace.

Cadence waved, Eric waved. Then Cadence left. And the door closed behind him.

And that was the that. On that.

Eric was fairly zoned out for the whole shift. He was mixing drinks on autopilot, not so much as handling customers. Some drunkard got rowdy, Eric wasted no time to tell them to fuck off. His patience was zilch.

He got home and Gavin’s already put himself to bed, tucked in and in his PJ’s, though Eric heard him get up when he closed the front door. Eric picked him up, tucked him back in again, and kissed him on the head. Poor kid hated being alone late at night, especially when he had to put himself to bed. Eric laid on the bed with him, one foot off to hold himself steady, and made sure Gavin was all the way asleep before he stood up to change his own clothes.

Only once he was sure Gavin’s not getting out of bed again does he check his phone, too.

“Cadence Beaulieu” had over four million followers on Twitter, over fifteen million subscribers on Youtube, and an Instagram account that makes Eric blush almost inappropriately. And this is the guy who was. In his bar. Talking to him. Eric picked this man up earlier and didn’t even notice that the heart on his face was made up of three moles. It looked like a tattoo almost, but no, apparently.

He spent almost too much time binging Cadence’s content before he managed to pass out to the sound of one of his beauty tutorials. Interesting, that this is the guy he met. This is the guy who he picked up, carried into his bar, hid in the corner.

Interesting.

But not every day is so interesting. So Eric goes back to work and expects nothing to change. He tries to put this rare celebrity encounter behind him. Tries not to think of how much of an idiot he must have been, seeming to just fade into the background and ignore what could have been a real moment had he asked more questions, became something more memorable perhaps. He could have asked Cadence how he was doing, at least. How his day had been. Anything, really.

Instead, Eric just has the memory of the prettiest man on the planet sitting in the corner of the bar, of his bar. Alone together. A stranger, sure, and maybe Eric understood somewhere that that was part of why the anxiety was so strong? But c’mon. Man was pretty. Nice, too.

Damn. This is why he’s single, he joked bitterly to himself. Lonely, the joke in his head twisted. He didn’t have the gall to actually talk to anyone, what was he supposed to do.

He had been cleaning out glasses at the bar, late one night. He’d picked up a later shift, after Gavin had already gone to sleep. Usually, Eric liked to be home while the kid slept, but sometimes the scheduling didn’t work out like that and he’d need to pick up extra hours for other bartenders who had to tap out. He was a very strong cover, apparently. And on the spectrum of “thank god that lucky ass thing happened,” this was right below Cadence’s accident.

About two weeks after Eric meets a whole ass celebrity, two men sit down at the bar during one of the live musical performances. It was Eric’s time working behind the bar, and he saw the one with the eyepatch wave him over. Which, like. Okay, sure, he was getting there. But customer service and you never know how many drinks they’ve had before they walk in at one in the morning and you definitely don’t want to get mad at the dude giving you the tip and maybe this dude’s never been to a bar, who the fuck wears soft cashmere at a bar, and his buddy there was in a bowtie and suspenders like this was some kind of book club and not remarkably past midnight on a Thursday.

Like, okay, nerds, maybe they’ve just never been to this kinda bar. Sure. Fine.

“What can I get started for you boys,” Eric said, slinging his washcloth over his shoulder on his approach.

“Two cosmopolitans, please,” the one with the eyepatch said, giving Eric a smile that read polite.

Eric looked at the one with curly hair and glasses, who nodded in confirmation. “One shot in both? You got any vodka preferences?” he asked, taking out the house vodka and two tumblers.

Before the eyepatch’ed one could reply, the one with glasses butted in, saying, “One with one shot, a double in the other, please. And if you have Ketel One, that would be grand.”

“A double shot? Marlowe!”

“What, it’s been a good day! I think I deserve a double shot. And you know two shots isn’t enough to do much.” This Marlowe guy sounded pretty cocky, if you were to ask Eric, but no one ever asks the bartender. So he didn’t say anything about it.

He tuned out of the argument there, as soft as it turned. Much less of an argument, more aggressive flirting, and that was something that was easy for him to zone out of until he set the two cocktails down. “Double shot,” he said, setting the double in front of Marlowe. “And a single. If you boys need anything else, my name’s Eric and I’ll be at the bar all night.”

“Eric,” the one with the eyepatch smiled, and it was kind of pretty in that controlled, poised way that some models do. “Thank you. If we need anything, I’ll-I’ll call.”

“Thank you, Eric,” Marlowe said, raising his glass and taking a long sip.

Eric just nodded and went around, checking on others. Earlier, he’d seen some dude try to roofie a girl, and had taken the drink back. She had left with a friend she trusted, and he’d kicked the guy out pretty forcefully, but the moment still left quite the imprint. He was always on edge whenever that happened, hoping to prevent it from happening again.

He did a few rounds before he ended up in front of Marlowe and his friend again, maybe half an hour later. This friend was on his phone, typing something out, while Marlowe flagged Eric down, with an empty glass before him.

“Hello, Eric,” Marlowe raised the glass. “Would you be a dime and make me a Long Island Iced Tea?”

Okay. This dude had to be a heavier drinker, if he was going to be calling out drinks by name. And it wasn’t necessarily Eric’s job to know how much someone could drink, especially strangers. The guy didn’t, like….he didn’t look drunk just yet. You know? So Eric nodded.

“Sure thing. You got any preferences?” he asked, taking the cup back and pulling out a tall glass.

Now that seemed to be the right question, or at least one the man hadn’t thought of. Marlowe reached up, cupping his chin in thought, and spared a few glances at his friend still typing. Hopefully this wasn’t, like, for the friend. Eric would have to watch for that. But after a bit of time, Marlowe nods. “Yes. Ketel One again for the vodka.”

“Sure.” They had Ketel One under the vodka cabinet, but people rarely ordered it. It was one of their premium vodka’s and house vodka was Smirnoff.

“Do you have Patrón for tequila?”

“Yeah, I’m….pretty sure,” Eric, before he could be made to swallow his words, took a stride to the tequila cabinet and checked. “Yep, I’ve got Patrón for you.”

“Excellent. I don’t know enough about the other three alcohols to have preferences, but if you could tell me what you put in, I’d love to start learning.”

An….interesting request. But Eric knew the house drinks like the back of his hand (and he might not be able to hold his liquor like the best of them, but he’d still tried all of the standard drinks. For posterity.) so he pulled out the Bacardi first. “This’ the rum. In house, we use Bacardi. Pretty light for a rum, but it does have a better taste than Captain Morgan. A lot better to mix with,” he explained.

Marlowe had turned himself toward the counter, watching Eric pour in the Bacardi first, then the Ketel One, then the Patrón. Then, he put those three down. The triple sec was all out on the shelf, since they were common enough and the bar stocked a small enough range to have the whole selection out for viewing. Eric pulled down a bottle of Bols to add, then Henrick’s gin from the shelf below. They were running out behind the bar anyways. “Bols is the triple sec,” Eric said as he poured. “It’s really good for mixing with multiple alcohols. Sometimes a drink’ll play nice with other alcohols and sometimes it’ll only play nice with, like. Coke.”

“That makes sense. The consistencies are very different,” Marlowe hummed.

Sounded like this dude was the analytical type. Which might explain why he had some of his preferences on hand. If you don’t go to bars often, you’re going to be scared of the unknown. Eric was almost proud of the guy for that, if this was him trying new things.

He just hoped Marlowe wouldn’t throw up in the bathroom or something. That would fuckin’ suck. Always a situation when the patrons didn’t know their own limits.

“Henrick’s is the gin, and it’s just a easy gin to use,” he said with a shrug. “And then we just….”

He pulled out the cola spritzer, topped the glass off with cola, and put the slice of lemon in. And then he slid it over to Marlowe, who took the drink in one hand with a fascinated look. Dude even pushed his glasses up.

“Interesting. I’m excited to try it,” Marlowe said, glancing back up to Eric with a smile.

And before Eric could even warn him about how strong of a gut punch it was about to be, Marlowe picked up the glass and took a swig about a third of the cup. “Woah, buddy,” Eric couldn’t stop himself from jumping at that. “You alright?”

“Marlowe, what the fuck are you doing?” dude’s friend finally looked up from his phone to see Marlowe slam the glass down and cough into his arm.

“Holy shit,” Marlowe said, fixing his glasses with a smile that seemed a little too wide to be sober. “That’s quite strong, but very, very good. Thank you, Eric!”

His glasses were still crooked. Eric almost leaned forward to fix them, before the guy’s friend got to it first, and that was all for the better. It’s not like Eric knew these people, after all.

Marlowe took out his phone and Eric took the chance to lean towards his companion. “He asked for a pretty strong drink,” Eric warned. “If you need a hand taking care of him, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve held a dude’s hair back in the bathroom.”

His friend must have been surprised at the suggestion, but it can’t have been an uncommon thing considering how quickly he got over the possibility. “Thank you, that’s very k-very kind. He’s not usually one to drink a lot,” the friend sighed, then nodded to Eric. “Thank you for your service tonight, Eric. My name is Phillip.”

Phillip, alright. “Good to meet you, Phillip,” Eric said, and he went back around the bar to do rounds.

It was another hour and half before the bar closed, though. Eric wasn’t technically the shift lead for closing, but he was on the shift. When it got close enough to three, he turned on Semisonic’s song “Closing Time.” Most of the people had left by then, quick to leave on their rides or to new bars.

But still sitting at the bar were the two people Eric had pegged as nerds earlier, Marlowe and Phillip. After Marlowe finished the Long Island Iced Tea, Eric had poured a water, but the man still ordered a margarita on top of it. And now it looked like he was paying for it, given how he was literally leaning on Phillip’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist. Phillip didn’t look all too pleased, however.

“David is going to be worried si-worried si-sick when we get home.” Eric could hear Phillip chide Marlowe as he got close.

“It’s-It’s all dandy. I love David,” Marlowe hiccupped into Phillip’s shoulder, then leaned around and pressed his face into the base of his neck. “I love YOU, Prince.”

Phillip tutted, reaching back to run his hand through Marlowe’s curled hair. “I love you-love you too, you idiot.”

Cute. Really gay, and cute. Eric put away the cups he’d just washed and approached the pair, noting how they’d slowly but surely become the last people at the bar.

“Hey,” he said, waving slightly. “Phillip, right?”

“Mhm. Eric,” Phillip greeted. “Sorry to still be here. I can see you’re closing up.”

“Eh. Marlowe’s falling asleep on you, I get it. Do you two have a ride home?”

At that, Phillip winced. And Eric could have guessed the follow up, honestly. “Actually, Marlowe was supposed to be the driver,” Phillip confessed, patting Marlowe’s hand. “I think he overshot how much he could drink, though. As per usual.”

“I only had three drinks!” Marlowe interrupted, all too proud of himself for having three drinks that had the alcoholic consistency of a freight train.

Phillip and Eric both seemed to be on the same page, though, because neither acknowledged him. Save for a few gentle pats from Phillip as Marlowe buried himself more in Phillip’s back.

“Okay. Do you need to call someone?” Eric asked.

Phillip rubbed the back of his neck, thinking for a moment before nodding. “Yes. I know someone who’ll be awake who can come help, but….well. Marlowe’s car is still in the parking lot. It has a parking limit in the morning, which will quickly become an issue.”

Fuckin’ city parking. Eric had definitely gotten a ticket or two before, parking his motorcycle in the wrong place. He usually just walked to work, though, since he was two blocks away. So he didn’t have a vehicle to worry about….

A drunk man and a man with a cane could get picked up real easy this late at night by some unfavorable people. Maybe that worry was what made Eric offer. Maybe it was because Phillip and Marlowe had been fairly kind to him throughout the night. It could also have had something to do with how nice Phillip seemed to be taking it now, how calm he was handling the situation. And maybe, too, how Phillip himself didn’t ask.

There was something nice about being able to offer help, rather than having it asked of him always.

“If you want, I can drive you home,” Eric suggested. “I’ll catch an Uber back to my house from yours.”

Phillip blinked, and Marlowe giggled. Eric didn’t know what was so funny. He thought it was probably pretty shady to offer. He knew he wouldn’t let just any stranger drive his bike, after all. But he’d gotten to the point where he could do a solid vibe check just by looking and interacting with someone, and these two seemed nice. He could see himself accepting this kind offer, under similar circumstances, from either of them.

Still, kinda scary to think he’d be driving someone else’s car to their own house. He wouldn’t know where it was, Phillip would have to direct him. But Phillip legally couldn’t drive, not with the one eye gone, and Marlowe definitely couldn’t drive if he tried. Which he shouldn’t.

“That would be so-so lovely, thank you,” Phillip said.

Getting clearance to drive some drunk patrons home was a breeze, knowing it was Eric “workaholic glad you’re getting out early” Yuan. Soon enough, he had his arm looped around Marlowe’s waist, helping him up as Phillip led them to the car, which was parked about half a block away. Phillip also used a cane, which would have been a pretty difficult thing to work around if he needed to carry Marlowe himself. All the more reason Eric was glad to help them home.

They walked up to a nice sedan, likely a newer model judging by the built in navigation. Phillip helped Eric lay Marlowe in the back seat as he mumbled something about a pony, and Phillip himself climbed into the shotgun. The car wasn’t that hard to drive, now that Eric looked around at the controls. Same as any. The break was a little more tense than he was used to, but once he got it onto the road, he could manage.

Phillip, in shotgun, turned on a jazzy, late night radio station. And directed Eric gently towards their home, probably. Neither of them made conversation much but, to some extent, it didn’t seem like it was necessary. And that was kind of nice, to Eric. He didn’t always like conversing, especially with patrons and folks who didn’t know him. Which accounted for most people. But Phillip’s presence was nice, calming almost, which was rich for a guy who Eric had just met. He was tense, like he usually was, but for a stranger? In this kind of precarious circumstance?

It’s when the drive took them onto a small, two-lane road at the edges of the city and beginnings of the forest that Eric starts to worry. Was Marlowe actually a heavy-weight? Maybe he was pretending to be drunk back there so they could mug him? Take his kindness for granted and leave him in a ditch? He didn’t think he looked like he was worth mugging, but like….maybe. Was that a necessary cane or was it a weapon?

“It’s this-this house here,” Phillip said, pointing to a gravel driveway, and Eric swallowed despite the dryness of his mouth.

“Sure,” he murmured, pulling onto the gravel.

As he did, the house’s porch light turned on, front door thrown open as someone else jogged out. Eric stopped, threw the car into park immediately, but Phillip didn’t seem too phased by the newcomer. Instead, he turned to Eric and held out a one hundred dollar bill. “Thank you so much for all your help this evening,” he said with a smile.

Eric looked at the bill, then up at Phillip. He hadn’t really expected to be tipped for this, in all honesty. But it made sense. You know, if he’s going to drive you home, tip him. He’s done over the top enough. But a hundred fucking dollars? This dude just whipped a hundred dollars out on a tip? How loaded were these gay dudes, and then they didn’t have someone to drive them home?

“That’s a hundred dollars,” he said, unthinking.

He blushed a little, stuttering on words to add on and say he didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, but Phillip just laughed. His laugh was breezy, like leaves in the wind. “Yes, it’s a hundred dollars. I think it’s-it’s warranted, considering you drove me and my idiot home,” Phillip put the bill on Eric’s lap and undid his seatbelt. “It’s a hundred dollars plus something-something extra.”

Eric looked down at the bill, picked it up, and there was. A whole ass phone number written on the side. With the “Phillip & Marlowe” written on the side.

Before he can ask what the fuck is happening and if he’s been dreaming this whole time, the backseat door opens. “Davy,” Marlowe’s voice is so slurred it’s almost incomprehensible, but the person who’d come out of the house, this “Davy,” unbuckles Marlowe swiftly.

“Jesus, Marl’, how much did you drink?” Davy grumbles, pulling Marlowe out by his arms.

Instead of setting him on the ground, though, Davy just wrapped them around his shoulders and then slowly, steadily, lifted Marlowe into his arms. Marlowe let him, swinging his own legs up to make it easier for Davy to catch them. Once he had some semblance of a grip, Marlowe leaned forward and pressed his face against Davy’s, kissing him rough enough for Phillip to laugh at, Eric to stare confusedly at.

“He gets like this, when he’s-when he’s drunk,” Phillip leaned over to explain, though it does nothing to clear up Eric’s questions.

At this point? He’s a lot more willing to walk home. Just get out of the car and walk.

“Alright, y’ sap,” Davy grumbles, pulling Marlowe off of himself and nestling him into more of a hold.

Eric was still sitting in the driver seat, just watching through the passenger window as Phillip opens his own door and climbs out. Davy leans his head towards Phillip, who pats his shoulder warmly and looks down at Eric.

All three of them are looking at him now.

The odd one out.

And, like, fair. He didn’t know what the fuck he was doing here, either.

“Uh,” he said. “I can just, uh. I can call myself an Uber now.”

“Who the fuck’re you?” Davy asked, almost at exactly the same time.

Eric put his hands up and slowly climbed out of the car. This Davy person didn’t really look mad—Phillip leaned over, whispering something to him, and Davy nodded along. And Eric didn’t know what the fuck that was about really, but he didn’t feel in the mood to test anything. Not at three in the morning, in someone else’s driveway. He had to get back home.

“I can just….” Eric gestured to the road again, taking a few steps back.

Davy shook his head. “No fuckin’ way, dude,” he was much more abrasive than the other two, and something in the sturdiness of his tone got Eric to shut up. “I’ll drive you.”

On literally any other day, Eric would probably have started running right then and there. His palms were sweaty still, from gripping the steering wheel tighter than ever and from the mounting panic of driving someone else’s car to a house he didn’t know. In a car with a bunch of strangers.

But, to be frank, Eric was just starting to believe this wasn’t real.

He was probably just tired. He didn’t usually work shifts this late, and this was a whirlwind of a night already, and he’d already swallowed whatever panic arose earlier, which usually left him without the energy to worry about semi-tense situations. It was a kinda numb feeling. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? He dies and Gavin goes back with their parents? Bit too late in the night for Eric to care about something as trivial as dying.

So he nodded slowly to Davy’s suggestion. “That would be nice,” he said.

Davy grinned. He lifted Marlowe a little and said, “I’ll put this one to bed and come back out, ‘ight?”

Eric just nodded again, which must have been good enough for Davy, because he just turned around and marched himself back into the house. Phillip stayed outside, though, leaning on his cane with both of his hands. Eric shuffled around the car, now feeling a little more awkward, and Phillip gave him a small shrug as if to say he sympathized.

“I’m sure this is-this is strange,” Phillip added on.

It sure as fuck was. But Eric was like, almost too out of it to properly acknowledge that. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “This’ gonna be one hell of a dream to wake up from.”

Phillip chuckled at that one, laugh light like air. He leaned over and rested a hand on Eric’s shoulder—Eric flinched, hands reaching up into a defensive stance, and Phillip pulled back quick.

It was. A little out of his comfort zone.

Just a little. He didn’t like people touching him, especially people he didn’t know, because for the longest time he’d been used to sudden motions as a threat. And while he used to take it, Eric had long since trained himself to fight over flight. So it did take self-control to not just deck this dude.

He turned back around to Phillip, shoulders hiked enough for his neck to stiffen just a bit, and he tried to lower his own hands. They were shaking, much to his chagrin, so he stuffed them into the pockets of his jeans.

“Sorry,” he fumbled over his words. “Sorry, I, uh. I’m kinda...it’s late, and I don’t really like, uh. People touching me.”

“No need to apologize, that-that was on me,” Phillip responded. “No need at all. I should-I should have known better, but I’m ti-I guess I’m tired my-myself. I’m very sorry for touching.”

Eric smoothed himself out slowly, as best he could, and Phillip rested himself against the side of the car. He glanced over, watching Phillip as the man looked up at the tree line. In the moonlight, Eric could see him smile, ever so slightly. He looked weirdly regal, with how prim he was, even after being at a dive bar for three hours. His hair was still brushed to the side like it’d been gelled, though Eric had seen him run his hand through it a few times. And although it was dark, he could still make out the freckles that dotted Phillip’s face, like stars in their own right.

He turned away, looking at his feet, and hoped Phillip didn’t feel too badly. It wasn’t his fault Eric was a nervous fuckin’ wreck. But he didn’t say anything. Getting a little too tired to hold proper conversation.

They both look up as the front door opens and closes again, as that Davy guy jogs out. He’d changed out of his clothes into other pajama looking clothes, or maybe he’d just thrown on a jacket.

“Alright, nerd’s been sung a lullaby and is all tucked into bed.” He clapped his hands, rubbing them together slowly. “You gonna be able to get yourself in bed okay, Princey?”

“Oh, I’ll be okay. Just-Just sad my favorite artist won’t be there to kiss me goodnight,” Phillip said, and Eric did a double take at how flippantly the flirt was doled out.

Wasn’t Phillip dating that Marlowe guy? Eric glanced between Davy and Phillip as Davy scoffed and grabbed Phillip by the shoulder of his sweater, yanking him close and kissing him for a second. Were they like, all dating? Was that what was happening here?

Eric was more confused than anything else. He knew of polyamory. He’d just never seen it. Then again, he didn’t know about a lot in the queer community. Once, one of the queens who came in for drag night called him “gnc as hell” and he had to get an explanation from one of the girls sitting at the bar. Polyamory, though, was a new kind of fear for him. That was just more people to disappoint.

He looked back at the car and climbed into the passenger seat while Davy pulled back from Phillip and mussed up his hair. Eric very intentionally ignored eye contact while Davy climbed into the driver’s seat and rolled down Eric’s window, though he did wave at Phillip while Davy pulled away.

“Drive safely, David!” Phillip called out, waving a hand.

“Be back in a sec, baby!” David must have been his name proper, because he blew Phillip a kiss through the window and then rolled it back up.

Eric just kept sitting. Quietly. He almost wanted to pull his knees up, but this was someone else’s car and he didn’t really want to put his shoes on the leather seats. He put his hands on his knees, though, and tensed his knuckles a little.

Whereas the ride to the house was quiet in a calm manner, Eric felt a lot more tense now. He didn’t know this David. And this David dude seemed a lot less poised than Phillip or Marlowe, given how he just turned off the radio and mumbled music lyrics, off-key and without any actual tune. And Eric could recognize that only because, at some point, David was singing some Shinedown song he knew. “State of My Head?” Probably.

Would David be mad? If this was a polyamory situation, would it be like encroaching on territory to have driven Phillip and Marlowe home? Eric didn’t know. He didn’t want it to seem like that; he just didn’t want them to have to call an Uber and get a ticket. Shit was expensive.

At the first red light off the one-lane road, David glanced at him, and Eric caught the sight of a birthmark near his neck. It looked faded but it was still a recognizable shade of red. Eric looked away almost immediately, so David wouldn’t notice him staring. He must not have been too successful, though, because David chose that moment to start a conversation.

#human au #eric #cadence #gavin #the human au has two main fics #the first is about eric joining the polycule and that's where this snippet is from #the second is about everyone else joining the polycule and it is.......... so fucking long / // .. . .#i am just always nervous about the world knowing about things that are close to my heart and like #writing these fics have been getting me through grad school and also having a job in grad school #been very very stressed and taking it out on the boys and now the boys are so close to my heart #i hope you enjoy this !!!#hopefully ill draw new things and change up the layout and get a new theme #ive been thinking of making myself themes because like. whats the point of knowing how to make custom interactives if i cant #make myself a tumblr theme :^)#anyway long winded tags aside #thank you very much for sticking through this with me and thank you everyone who enjoys these homies #i also enjoy them #this is two chapters of the fic actually #its two chapters of the eric fic

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booksandria · 4 months

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Pandora by Anne Rice - Thoughts

SPOILER ALERT!

I just finished Pandora last night! What a book, my friends!

This new duology, The New Tales of the Vampires, really started on a strong note. In Pandora, we read the narration the titular character writes to David Talbot, our known scholar and former Talamasca member from the Vampire Chronicles, about her own life story, how she lived as a human and how she became a vampire.

Quite a short book compared to the others, we are present to spirited, bright and clever Pandora, daughter of a Roman Senator and avid Ovid fan. If we only had a brief glimpse at her in her chapter in Queen Of The Damned, here she shines in full colors and makes me fall head over heels for her.

For the dramatic tale of a woman seeking refuge in Antioch after her entire family has been murdered, and trying for the first time in her life to fend for herself and make a home in this foreign land, this book is so fucking funny.

Maybe it was intentional, maybe I just have a broken sense of humor, but we had this woman jumping the walls to Marius house while everyone was begging her not to, we had this woman ask Marius if his dick had grown when he was transformed, we had the iconic:

"No, no Father. - I said - I shall never forget him. I think I forgot him the next day"

What an icon, really.

I specially loved this book because it brought so much of history with it. Such a well researched story of the Ancient Rome and the old roman ways, but also of the christianization of the Rome Empire and every shenanigan that was involved in those processes. What a beautiful and clever thing how important it was for Pandora as a character to be born in such times, how deeply it affected the way she saw life and her unlife, how it affected her relationship with the Parents and the old gods. Very neat!

Talking about old gods, another very important thing to note is the cult of Isis. Also a key aspect of Pandora, her relationship with religion: even as a roman who's expected to put reason and logic over anything else, she's still open to faith and "mystical" beliefs. In this sense, the cult represents the very thing that was such trouble in her relationship with Marius, the very thing that made them so incompatible. But more than that, in this cult Pandora builds a community with other women, finds a safe heaven she can escape from her loveless arranged marriages to, and also finds the strenght and hope to keep going after enduring her darkest moment. No wonder she immediatly wants to build Akasha temples and a cult as she had asked, and no wonder too that she can't even be at the same building as the Parents after figuring out they were not who she hoped they would be.

And I won't even get started on the womanhood themes in this book, oh my god. Honestly, I could write a whole post about it (and I maybe will eventually). But yeah, this woman who falls right between being the epitome of womanhood of ancient rome and being the farthest things from it, and then becomes a vampire and is completely above any gender roles and gender expectations, but still falls into its trap here and there, oh my god. Yeah, I most likely will talk more about this in some other post.

Anyway, Pandora the character is simply wonderful and Pandora the book is, too. Such a great, amusing, touching tale. Very happy this was my first book of the year. Love you Pandora, marry me please 🥺

#bookblr #the vampire chronicles #books of 2024 #gia reads #readerblr #readers of tumblr #jan 2024 #pandora #the new tales of the vampires

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charizardstolemynickname · 11 months

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EPISODE 20 PEOPLE!!

I wrote down notes again so I didn't miss anything and it was 2 pages, in my smallest handwriting so- THIS WILL BE A LONG POST

I will split them up into their respective scenes

Collector + Belos opening scene:

I completely forgot about the door building for a minute not going to lie, love to see it again though

EATING PALISMAN?! HE EATS THEM!? Did we know this?? I remember the DESTROYING, NOT EATING

"I can't wait to get out of this prison", now Mx Collector cosmos shadow guy, what does that mean

Speaking of the Collector, the whole time he has been so, kidlike, I wonder why, I hope we find out

Amity's parents + the kids scene:

WOAH! What does that threat mean Mrs. Blight, what deal do you have with your husband, and why does "The kids to play a more active role in Blight Industries" MEAN and why is it a threat!?

We love Mr Blight here, shoutout to Amity's dad

CATs meeting scene:

"This is just a trick to get me to wear clothes" WELL ITS NOT WORKING!" Hooty I love you, so much

"You might be a titan but you are still a little guy" THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING EDA, King is just a baby!!!

"What? Only a few people would get eaten, even then, just the small ones!" DARIUS, my icon, my inspiration, love you

EDA HAS TO JOIN A COVEN?!! NOOOO, SHE IS FAMOUS FOR BEING A WILD WITCH!

..An egg? Okay well the following explanation makes sense, for a minute I thought her literal palisman would be an egg, however I am too impatient to wait for it to hatch WHAT IS IT

"But as exciting as saving the world sounds, its not nearly as romantic as going on a rescue mission to save your girlfriend" BROO, Eda you are so right, Eda is the real number 1 fan of Lumity

WHY IS THIS IMPLYING ONE OF YOU 3 (Luz, Eda + King) IS GOING TO DIE?! I'm with King, STOP THIS TALK, IT IS NOT GOODBYE

My found family loving heart sobbed at that frame of them 3 hugging with the view

HELL YEAH! CATs! Poor Darius, he is suffering

Luz on her mission:

DARIUS INSISTED ON A SECURITY ESCORT!?! AWWW, I knew he cared!

WILLOW AND GUS?!?! YEAHHHHHH

HUNTER?!?!?! Darius really wanted the best security for Luz if he went with the like, Ex Golden Guard

He definitely begged Willow and Gus to come with, I can see it

...I'll be honest I am still not 100% sure what a Grimwalker is, I assume it has something to do with death and control and Belos, but I don't know

THE BLUSH!!! I love Lumity so much, my little children

"We can shout as loud as we want but money always shouts louder" I DIDN'T EXPECT SUCH A HARDHITTING LINE, Well said Emira!

"she'd probably say something dorky but also sweet" Amity the simp, confirmed (/lh)

"AND I'M NOT LETTING THE WORLD END BEFORE WE GO ON A REAL DATE" ....they are so gay, I adore them, it hurts

WHAT SORT OF PETNAME IS SWEET POTATO! Wtf Luz (/lh)

AHHHHHHHHHH (excited scribbles) THEY KISSED!!!!

"Oh Crikey!" LUZ!?!?

"I can't believe I just did that" "I can't believe I just said that! Oh Crikey!" I'm in hysterics over this, jesus christ

Eda + CATs on the ship:

Eda and Raine banter, the immediate "Jealous I'm going to be a better coven leader?" from Eda to lighten the mood is 10/10

EDA IS GETTING A REAL SIGIL!? NOT A ILLUSIONIST ONE?! NOOOOO

"Isn't it cool we get one last adventure together?" EDA THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING, THIS SOUNDS LIKE GOODBYE

Back to Luz & co adventure to talk to Amity's parents:

The King and Collector connection is fascinating to me, clearly the Titans have some sort of connection to whatever the Collector is

Amity's dad needs therapy, love him WOAH KING IS GIVING HIM THERAPY?! damn.

"I'm going to spend more time with my kids, get to know them" AHHHH I am an Amity Dad fan, if he has 1 fan its me, if he has 0 fans, I'm dead

HOMOPHOBIC AMITY MUM?!?! Oh, no, not homophobic just against Luz, well, you win some you lose some

BELOS KNOWS?! AND HAS EYES ON EDA!? I swear if Raine actually is a double spy and IS being controlled by the plant coven lady or something I will go insane

"Was it the power of believing in myself?" "No! It was the power of science! But you almost had it sweetie" AHHHH LOVE HIM

AMITY'S MUM KNEW?! SHE KNEW WHAT THE DAY OF UNITY WAS?! Bro, you aren't going to be treated well, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU DELUSIONAL PRICK

Woah, Luz what was that yellow power thing?!? WHAT WAS THAT!?

NOOO!!! HUNTER, this is definitely kidnapping, in every sense considering Hunter is a kid

Mr Blight being just a fan of his jetpack until he realises what it means, I love him, I adore him so fucking much

Question, what coven is Amity's Mum from, I thought it was abomination too but the ghost thing and the talking into gem thing made me realise she probably isn't, and I have forgot what she is in

"You're always welcome in our home" AWWW SUPPORTIVE DAD!!! I am a sucker for supportive parents

WOAH NO! Hunter, its lovely to see you, as always BUT WHAT HAPPENED!?

WAIT LUZ DIDN'T GET TO HEAR SUPPORTIVE DAD COMMENT! NOOOOOO

God damn it Luz, always 1 step ahead, poor Hunter is so lost

AND THAT CONCLUDES, Episode 20 reaction. Finished. I am pleasantly surprised at this episode, it had so much packed into it and I even missed things out as it would have been too long

I have so many questions and cannot wait to have (most of them hopefully?) answered next episode

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #the owl house season 2 spoilers #eda the owl lady #luz owl house #toh #toh spoilers #amity owl house #toh king #toh luz #toh amity #toh gus #toh willow #toh hunter #LOVE AMITY'S DAD #luz the owl house #lumity!!#king owl house #ONTO THE SEASON 2 FINALE

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trubbishrubbish · 1 year

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I’m going to come clean about something that has been nagging me for a really long time.

I created this blog on Jan 30th, (don’t ask why I make an anniversary post on the 31st) so that day is indeed the anniversary of my blog, but it’s not the anniversary for when I met Genocide Jack and fell in love with her. I wanted to find out what day I first declared I loved this serial killer. So I went down a little rabbit hole of old posts and messages made by me.

Note: This is going to be a very long rambly mess.

As explained in this post of how I first discovered Danganronpa, I first watched a playthrough of the games in 2018 but I did not mention a specific day in 2018, I forgot what day it was. I knew it was somewhere in November-December but that’s it. I didn’t exactly write down my thoughts on the game while watching so I have no idea when I watched each game, and I assumed I never will.

However, I decided to dive into my old Game Diary blog and found that I did make a few posts about Danganronpa! Just barely enough information to make a timeline.

So this is when I finished watching DR1. November 30th. 4 days later, I made this post and I found this discord message of mine.

In those 4 days, I finished watching DR2. And the character I was hinting at was Byakuya (ugh) I still remember what profile pic I used. (Barf)

And then, 4 days later again...

I finished watching V3.

And then many days later, I made my cursed top ten favorite Danganronpa characters. (Don’t try to find it. It’s so cringe)

Why did I wait so long to make this top ten?

Genocide Jack was still in my mind but I didn’t realize yet she was the one. I still thought Byakuya was my fav. But... What about Ultra Despair Girls? That is the one game I have not seen up until this point.

I don’t really remember how I came aware of UDG and the fact that Jack is back in it and is playable. But sometime in December, I knew I didn’t want to just watch a playthrough of UDG. I wanted to buy it. So I went to Gamestop, saw that UDG was available on the shelf, I picked it up... And I didn’t buy it. I went home and watched a entire video that summarized the whole game’s plot. I have no idea WHY I DID THAT. I spoiled the whole game for me when I could have played it blind lol. But this is nothing new for me. Before I actually watched the playthrough of DR1, I watched the youtuber’s closing thoughts about the game first and was spoiled of the big twist about the outside world. Lol.

Anyway, this is when I actually first played UDG.

This is when I finished playing UDG.

And on this same post I made said this.

So, I was really really into Genocide Jack at this point. Like, I think I was debating which character I liked more, Jack or Byakuya, and Jack (THANKFULLY) was becoming more prominent in my mind.

And hey! January 27th! 3 days from when I made this blog. But I must have made an announcement about how I was going to make a new, fandom blog right?

I did and EEEEUGHHHHH. What is wrong with past me? I was still acting like I liked him? I was in the middle of playing UDG and freaking out about seeing Genocide Jack and switching to her. I can’t find a true post about when I said I loved Genocide Jack. I even tried to look on my old reddit account but I didn’t find any answers.

I made this post about UDG on Jan 4th and gushed about Genocide Jack.

But I made a cringe meme with Byakuya in it on the 21st so I have no idea what side my brain is on.

There is this post tho.

It’s cringe. Some trend on the sub at the time where people used this template and paltered a character they liked. I remember that I wanted to make this but I was caught between either Jack or Byakuya and for some reason I was having a hard time deciding. So I used a coin flip and the results of that led me to using Jack. I used to look back on this post before and wonder if this when I shifted everything in my thinking.

Two days later, I made this rather silly (and really lewd) sprite rating post and commissioned a Genocide Jack icon. (The same one for the game blog lol)

And then I made this blog and only talked about Genocide Jack from here on out?

So was it that really that reddit post that finally made me stop caring about Byakuya and only care about Jack? Maybe but I don’t want it to be that because I would hate that the reason why I love Genocide Jack was based on a coin flip and that would further make me think that if the coin resulted in Byakuya, I would still like him. That’s a terrible thing. Also that reddit meme is shitty. I’m not giving credit for changing my life to a reddit meme.

So, with this trip down memory lane, what did we learn? Well, I was stupid for thinking I liked Byakuya. I really getting sick of having to type this past fact about me. Like, I really really want to just throw up at the thought of me, giving a positive thought to that rich bastard. I don’t even care if people who like Byakuya are reading this. Fuck him. He’s awful.

What I do know is I have reaffirmed why I celebrate the creation of my blog as the first time I love Genocide Jack. This blog was a fresh new start for a new identity of me. Leaving behind a version of me that wasn’t bad per say, but just not fulfilling enough, no motivation to create art and improve my skills, no groups I could join in and find people that would be life long friends, no single character that is a comfort for me, that makes me feel happy, safe, and warm. That version of me, If I kept living life without Genocide Jack, I don’t think I would be as happy as I am today. Genocide Jack is so important to me. She is my everything. I owe her so much. I love her so much.

So... Going back to why I made this post in the first place, I don’t need an specific date for when I first loved Genocide Jack. That date isn’t important. It’s just a point of time. Genocide Jack is more important than that. All I know is that there was a time before I loved Genocide Jack and me currently loving Genocide Jack. I am still currently loving Genocide Jack. For how long exactly? Again, doesn’t matter. My blog is 4 years old now. But my love for Genocide Jack stick by for as long as I can.

Thank you for reading. And thank you, Genocide Jack. Genocider Syo. Genocide Jill. Genocider Sho.

#Kirby's Extra Blog #Genocide Jack #genocider syo #anniversary

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heartsick-honeybee · 1 year

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@skye707 tagged me! Hopefully that means I'll catch a stray Riddler..

CMON Arkhamverse, fingers crossed! Jkjk.

Ten of my favorite movies in no particular order!

This was hard af actually because as soon as I read it I forgot every movie ive ever seen. Suddenly, all cinema ceased to exist. Thanks brain.

That being said I did my best as-per my recollection and am probably missing things I quite love. Woopsie.

Rules: post 10 of your favorite movies and tag 10 people.

#1: Fantasia (1941)

This one has been my favorite since I was 2 years old. Beautiful art, Disney, and Classical music. It's just a win.

#2: The Phantom of the Opera (2005)

This is all of nothing like the book and my 15 year old emo ass really wanted Christine to go with the phantom despite all the red flags.

Now that I'm an adult I think they'd have been a lovely poly couple, and Erik needs counselling. That being said it's still one of my top favorite movies ever.. Who knew Emmy Rossom and Gerard Butler could SING?

I still love to play it and sing every word, the absolute chagrin of my daughter.

#3: Queen of the Damned (2002):

Anne Rice, Vampires, a soundtrack that quite possibly shaped my entire music taste for life--

This movie is honestly terrible, but in a SO bad its GOOD way. Cult classic 100%.

For an emo 12 year old in the early 2000's this was the best shit EVER, right there beside MCR.

#4: Pride and Prejudice (2005):

SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I love books. I love THIS book. and I love this movie based on this book. -- Mr. Darcy, you are a charmer.

#5: Yellow Submarine (1968):

Another one that's been a top favorite since I was only 2 years old.

I grew up on Beatles, and before I was emo (Around 9 years old) I had a hippy phase where I only wore tie-die and listened to 60s music, with Beatles being my top. This throws me back to them days every time.

#6: Minority Report (2002)

Let's get this out of the way first: Tom Cruise is batshit crazy as a person. I completely acknowledge this. That being said I think this movie is very well done and has a very valid moral that can forever apply to society and social justice as a whole.

It also had a very short run TV Mini series in 2015 (Without Cruise) that was a continuation/sequel of the movie, which I ABSOLUTELY loved just as much. There is only 10 episodes and I was SO sad it was cancelled

#7: Encanto (2021)

By far the newest one on this list.

Good music.

I'm in love with a 50yr old RAT man.

What else can I say?

#8: Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

Another book turned movie,

ANYTHING Shakespeare is always iconic, but I think this version is absolutely my favorite. Perfect casting, perfect acting, and Dr. Willson from House is one of the main characters! (You may also recognize Professor Trelawney and Professor Lockhart from Harry Potter as your two main characters. <3 When HP first came out I can tell you I was SO excited for something different than what everyone else was because It was awesome to see them together in the same movie again, for me, since I loved this farrrrr first.

#9: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

a 90s classic, and ALSO a modern adaptation of another Shakespeare story: The Taming of the Shrew.

It's was very well done, modernizing (For the time) while still sticking to the story. Great cast, great acting, and an icon of the 1990s despite being a story of the 1590s.

I think this movie hit home in a way that other modern Shakespeare adaptations (Such as Romeo + Juliet (1996) and She's the Man 2006)) Missed the mark on. (Although, did you remember Channing Tatum was in that? I didn't! Haha.)

#10: Digimon: The Movie (2000)

Why? I can't tell you why. When this came out was at the height of me being super into Digimon. The art is different from the show in a way that I just vibe with. The entire movie just has a VIBE to it and it brings back good memories. ALL THE GOOD VIBES.

Honorable Mentions:

Counting these as ONE:

Batman (1989) Batman Returns(1992) Batman Forever (1995) Batman & Robin (1997)

SO despite having 3 different Batmans and only two being directed by Tim Burton, these movies ARE supposed to go together.

They are hokey, and for the most part I consider them a comedic AU, HOWEVER, that will never override a few things:

Firstly, these movies are what got me into Batman and Batverse originally, before the animated series came out.

Secondly, the animated series came out BECAUSE of these movies, and was at least loosely based on them (Which is why Selina was blonde in TAS, to tie in, though they later rectified that in TNBA)

And three, the ENTIRE aesthetic of the movie AND the musical scores being by Danny Elfman are their own works of absolute art that I will ALWAYS appreciate.

@caesariawrites @pharoahkittylover @arttimeoccasionallyimtired @just-an-enby-lemon @finzphoenix @geislieb @coffeeandconundrums @ednyxmatic @sh4pes-4nd-colors @spookyvoid

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sarah-dipitous · 1 year

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 1

It begins

“Pilot”

Man, not to bring my hero academia immediately into my viewing of supernatural, but is Dean proof that even if Touya had been able to follow in his dad’s footsteps, he still would never feel like he was enough??

“I swore I was done with hunting for good” oh. Oh, Sammy. You poor naive young man. You’ve got fifteen years of this ahead of you

(I’m literally not going to be able to watch this as NOT a todobros au, huh. Haven’t decided if I’m mad about it, though. The whole exchange about 9yo Sam telling their dad he was afraid of the dark? So John gave him a 45? Tell me that’s not a “he’s already 5, he can take it”)

Dude, the guy this ghost lady picked up is a total ass, but can you imagine deciding to cheat on your girlfriend and the girl you wanna cheat with takes you to a CLEARLY long abandoned house?? Power fucking mood

Ok I did right by myself deciding to watch Doctor Who second because I fucking hate jumpscares and we’re in the VERY monster of the week era

I will say the tension of “kid who did once know, however briefly, a happy family life” vs “kid who’s trying to get out from their constantly, almost since birth, family life” is really good in this episode.

Also that Dean just FULLY threw himself off that bridge? It’s…it sure is something compared to Sam hanging on to the ledge for dear life. It says something

(There’s these guitar licks that play every once in a while that make me think I’m gonna be watching a Home Depot commercial or one of those fake large truck commercials tiktokers sometimes do…..which is fitting but it’s still really funny)

Girlie, I don’t think you can call Sam unfaithful in his relationship if you force yourself on him…play by your own rules, love.

Ghost kids are creepy af, aaaaaaaand the VERY 2005 special effects. Brilliant. Love it.

Oh poor Jessica’s about to get got…but also how did Dean know to come back? He drove away?!

All in all, aside from fridging two women in the pilot, it’s a solid episode

“Rose”

That post about old new who having such realistic settings for the companion’s home is so real…Rose’s room is EXTREMELY 2005

Nah, because why are they preparing me for a jumpscare too???? Y’all I’m so easily scared lmaooo

But now nine is here telling her to run so all is good in the world

Nine didn’t get enough appreciation in his time. I know we all love him now but…I definitely was more meh 10 years ago

Jackie Tyler is an icon. And BRUTAL. She really just told her daughter there’s no point in getting up today due to Rose’s job being burnt to the ground

And her flirting with the doctor I caaaannooooot she’s amazing “I’m in my dressing gown” “yep” “there’s a strange man in my bedroom” “yep” “well….anything could happen” “no!” You KNOW Jackie’s read all the cheap and twisty romance novels she could get her hands on

Rose gets a Shigaraki moment

Ok it’s 2005, what is in Mickey’s emails that he’s worried about?? I mean, could just be a general privacy thing but still

How come there aren’t more people like Clive in this show? If I remember correctly, later on people are just like “ah yes, our favorite time traveling alien, The Doctor. This is normal”

The makeup job they did on plastic Mickey is just the right amount of creepy

I forgot how much running through the back halls and rooms of shops and whatnot there was

I’m also loving the tension of The Doctor loves humanity but constantly forgets Mickey’s existence so much so that Rose has to call him out on it. The greater good vs very real human people aspect is a good tension for The Doctor and their companion to have. It’s part of what also made Ten and Donna so good, especially in episodes like The Fires of Pompeii

Oh the warm fuzzy feeling of seeing Nine smile and say “Fantastic!”

Clive didn’t deserve that, man!!

(Watching Jackie get almost attacked by the bridal mannequins, I’m also thinking about how Donna been somehow oblivious to this)

Mickey’s fears and suspicions about The Doctor are completely understandable, rational, and valid given all he went through in this episode. Man was kidnapped and copied by another alien who wanted to devour his entire planet, basically. And I hate how he gets treated by the narrative. That said, watching Rose run toward the TARDIS at the end is everything

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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sukibenders · 4 months

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Do you want to talk about how, since the stills of bridgerton s3 dropped showing Kate with Anthony and Kate with her Bridgerton family, all you and the Edwina stan accounts you reblog have talked about is Edwina and Mary? Has it ever occurred to you that desi women, like me, are so excited to see a dark skinned brown woman, like us, be happy and adored and loved? A whole desi romantic icon in the flesh in western media. Here you and your buddies are, the majority of whom openly hate Kate, (and are uncomfortably possessive over Edwina (I don’t include Mary because y’all don’t actually care about her nearly as much as you state)) and are vitriolic about her in their posts, are now concern trolling with “Kate Sharma deserves her own family, Kate Sharma deserves her own friends, Kate Sharma deserves a better man”, when hardly any of you gave a damn about her until you didn’t see the desi woman you wanted to see. If I’ve missed even one comment from you (your own or reblogged), saying ok Kate Sharma we see you, this brown girl deserves her happiness after all the trauma she went through, we love to see it! Please correct me. So determined to be the Sharma white knights we didn’t ask for you all forgot to do any uplifting at all.

Okay now you're taking a lot of stuff that I post out of context and, personally, I feel like you're pushing something on me that was never there. I'm happy that you are excited about Kate being loved, especially as a dark skinned brown woman, but my issue was never her being loved or saying that she didn't deserve it over Edwina. I can wish for BOTH of these women to be happy and loved, rather than piting them against each other, without overshadowing the other. I don't know why people think that it's impossible, or that having Edwina interact with the Bridgertons within itself is taking away from Kate. She's still viewed, by myself and many other Edwina fans that you say you know, as the viscountess and is perfectly loved and happy with her family even if Edwina is there (because she also is Kate's family). It's not uncommon for siblings to be cool with their siblings in-laws, there's nothing adherently wrong with that and it doesn't come from the guise of wanting to outshine Kate, at least for me and the people I follow (we also include Mary a lot of times into the family but not many hate on that idea or drag her character, and it leads me to believe a reason why that's directed at Edwina so much is because you view us as wanting her to take what Kate has which is far from the truth because many of us want Edwina to have something for herself too---for me, it's a prince). Correct me if I'm wrong, but your point of view seems like you just want Kate separate from Edwina (+ Mary) in regards to their family now that she's married to the Bridgertons, and want to keep that family all for herself, and that you don't like them (as par your "Sharma white knights" comment which is a choice). That's fine if you want that, and I'm sure that you can find others who do, but please don't come here to my page, or others who don't want what you want and send stuff like this even though it's completely untrue.

Because if you view being critical over some choices that a character does as "hating" them then I can't help you with that and you should just block me. I don't hate Kate, and I'm perfectly able to be critical of her while still wanting her to happy and loved. She isn't perfect and that's fine. If I did hate a character, as by example of some of my other posts outside this fandom, it would have an anti character tag but it doesn't. Because I don't hate Kate. I don't know where you also tied this into me hating to see a Desi woman having a happy relationship in Western media because, respectfully, that is a very big stretch. I'm happy about the Kate and Anthony stills (which I've reblogged but I've never been one to get up and excited just by a few pictures, from any fandom, until actual video content drops but that's just me) but that doesn't mean that I can't be critical about their relationship, specifically how Anthony treats Kate and is given more scenes to his backstory in comparison to her. We see more about him, are able to see more of him on a deeper level more than we ever see with Kate, which I've called out before. Many anons that I receive, similar to yours but also different, always assume that I hate Kathony or Kate because you don't like some of the stuff I say, but it literally calls out Anthony's behavior and how he acted towards Kate (which was wrong, never got a full apology for, but some of y'all skip past that). Him calling her the "bane of his existence", or constantly making her seem like she didn't know what she was talking about (pretending to be someone different in front of her sister and mother) or putting her's and her sister's reputations at risk by playing with their emotions. Me calling all that out makes me hate Kate? Makes me not want her to be happy? And I even call out the writers, multiple times might I add, about how unnecessary the drama that they added ends up being pointless and takes away time from what's actually important. Some of you are quick to hate on Edwina and her storyline, saying that it's overshadowing Kate but that's to blame the writers, who also added more plot for Penelope and her family which was not needed (especially since she's getting her own season, this one should have been about Kate solely as similar as it was to Daphne's). I'm happy for Kathony, but the writers irk me because they didn't have to shove so much angst onto us from the beginning. If they wanted to portray them as a happy couple from s2, as I said, they should have cut the "I'm planning to marry your sister" plotline short by the bee scene (which happens in the books) or scrapped it as a whole. By doing that, plus removing the Featheringtons, you could have more opportunity for Kathony to be together without so much angst falling over them (adding Anthony apologize for his behavior and make him seem like less of a prick, as well as provide more room for Kate as a character and a look into her own backstory). Back to the Sharma white knight thing, listen and I mean this with respect, I don't care whether or not you "asked" for me or any other page to be (just like I didn't ask for you to be in my inbox), because it was never about trying to adhere to what anyone else had to say. It was about us calling out poor writing choices, making better plotlines and finding ways to give these characters better respect than the narrative did. If you can't see that and just view it as me mindlessly supporting the Sharmas (which, when I say that name I also still involve Kate, even though many of you want to remove that aspect from her now, correct me if I'm wrong if you don't) then I can't help you.

And the line "hardly gave a damn about her until she didn't fit what I wanted to see" is very wrong, and while you have a personal connection with these characters that I won't understand and do respect, I won't tolerate you painting what I say in a different light just to fit what you believe. I never put Kate on a pedestal, especially not as a woc, and even put out multiple ways that could have relieved her stress and given her more scenes for happiness. Some of which does include being with Edwina and Mary because they are her family as well. If you don't like either of them, which it reads like you don't, and just want the Bridgertons to be her new family, fine, have at it. But don't come here, or to other pages, expecting them to do the same because some want the Sharma family to heal and be happy together alongside the Bridgertons, not without. That doesn't even remotely mean that we want to take away anything from Kate, as has been said before. If you don't like anything that I've ever posted about Kate or the Sharmas or Bridgerton at all, then why did you come here and send me an anon when you could have just blocked me? Respectfully, have a nice day.

#anonymous #anon ask #ask

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n1ghtcrwler · 1 year

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One of the things that really defines my involvement in this site is that I've been here forever, but in the "vampire on the wrong continent" kind of way. I see people on here constantly talking about how they're Tumblr Old because they joined in 2011-2013 and I look at my archive dating to 2009 and shrug. But like, they do that to prove they remember something, and it is invariably something I don't remember. John Green? Never followed him, I didn't read his genre, so I neither knew nor cared what he was doing here until one day I heard he'd been harassed off the site. I was here for the Cole Sprouse social experiment thing and still to this day don't know who Cole Sprouse is or what the nature of the experiment could possibly have been. Dashcon? I heard rumors there was a convention coming up and thought "ain't no way I'm going there" and then six months later saw a post explaining why the ball pit was so iconic. I followed one (1) blog that participated in Mishapocalypse so it got a tasteful chuckle out of me and I didn't know until years later that it had been a full website experience.

What I've learned is that we have no idea what will be remembered. Will people still talk about Goncherov in two years? I don't know, there was a whole competing fandom that from what I could see once stood as tall as the SuperWhoLock fandom and it has been so long since they've been invoked I forgot what media they were into. We've forgotten how many time tumblr was doomed and everyone said their goodbyes and then continued blogging together. There was a couple years of open religious strife between the Tumblr Christian Community and the Glitteresia and those names and most blogs associated have been long lost to the dust. In a matter of months the great memes of today may be gone and everyone talking about remembering an unhinged post that has, to date, sat at 6 notes for the last week. Everything on this site is transient. There is no universal experience. Do with that as you will.

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

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Corruption & Trust

Stormbringer and bsd spoilers in general ahead so read at your own risk!!

So in this post I will be listing all the times Chuuya used corruption and all the times Dazai was there to stop it. I will also go into depth as to why Chuuya trusts Dazai when it comes to having to use corruption and I will also emphazise on Dazai's care and how he takes corruption seriously.

1. First time using corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old

"Isn't it an unpleasant sight, Chuuya."

It was a young boy. This young boy casually caught hold of Chuuya's arm and lifted it up. With this movement, the gravitational field which had occured around them disappered immediatly. As well as Chuuya’s agony.

"Y...You..."

"You can't even die gracefully can you?" the young boy said in a raspy voice as he heaved Chuuya on his shoulders. He set off to walk.

Alright so this was the first time Chuuya's corruption was ever activated, after Dazai nullifies it and carries Chuuya on his back, he drops him off outside the bar were Chuuya's friends lay dead. He took him there instead of taking him directly to the port mafia quarters.

Why did he do that exactly? If Dazai doesn't care for Chuuya, then why did he give Chuuya the opportunity to pay farewell to his dying friends?

It's actually sort of funny because I don't really think Dazai really realizes or accepts that he feels a certain connection with Chuuya and therefore looks after him.

2. Second time using Corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old (obviously, its still the same light novel lol)

After losing his strength, Chuuya drifted in the air for a few seconds, then lost the black wings on his back and slowly fell.

Dazai caught his body.

From the spot where Dazai touched, the nulification skill was activated.

The self-contradictory skill that supports the energy of the singular point receded, and the output of the singular point decreased. Eventually, it converged and the "gate" closed. The red imprints disappeared from Chuya's whole body. Eventually, the gravitational field disappeared and the complete silence was restored.

“Good job, Chuuya." Dazai chuckled, looking at Chuuya he was holding in his arms. "I forgot to bring my ink pen, so I'll spare you from having your face scribbled."

As much as it looks like this is from a fanfiction, I can assure you that it's an actual passage from stormbringer.

I can't really say much except the fact that Dazai is being extremely soft here.

And this was the conversation Dazai and Chuuya shared beforehand:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right? the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

After this exchange, Chuuya does decide on using corruption. I have talked about this section on a previous post of mine, and I just love it so much. For starters, I think this conversation that these two shared is very important to their characters.

For Chuuya, it shows us how undeniably selfless he is. He would rather save the people of Yokahama instead of finding out something that meant a lot to him. He sacrificed his own desires to save the people he cares about.

For Dazai its a completely different story, in this exchange Dazai was able to openly express genuine concern for his partner. He also understands the gravity of the decision Chuuya has to take and therefore leaves the decision up to him.

Third time using corruption: Dragon's Head Conflict

Chuuya and Dazai' s age: 16 yrs old

During this one, Chuuya demands to know where his friends are, and Shibusawa says all six of them killed themselves after being caught. Enraged, Chuuya activates Corruption which ultimatley ended the 88 day conflict.

There isn't much to say about Dazai and Chuuya here since there isn't really an aftermath on this occasion but I bealive this picture is enough.

Before reading the DA manga, I genuienly thought that the only time Chuuya ever rested on Dazai's lap was when they were 22 but this proved me wrong.

I mean this is a minimal thing to point out but if Dazai disregarded Chuuya he would've just left him there, right? But instead he remained with Chuuya and allowed him to rest on his lap, in the picture you can also see he is putting Chuuya's hat back on. It's such a simple gesture but it shows us how caring Dazai can be when it comes to Chuuya using corruption.

Fourth time using corruption: Lovecraft Battle, Double Black reunion

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22 yrs old

This is personally one of my favorite times in which Chuuya uses corruption. The fact that these two had not been working together for 4 years yet they still managed to not only accomplish their mission, but mantain their trust for one another.

I find what Chuuya says here extremely ironic because if anything, the choice has always been up to him. Dazai always uses corruption as a last-resort trick and its always Chuuya who makes the final decision of using it or not, even in a life or death situation Dazai won't take it upon himself to force Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not, and hes always willing to come up with an alternative plan in case Chuuya refuses. (an example of this is when Chuuya used corruption for the 2nd time in SB).

I think the reason as to why Dazai takes corruption extremely seriously is because during stormbringer he was the first person to even see Chuuya use corruption and also the person who understood how corruption will always be sort of like a burden to Chuuya, since it was thanks to corruption that his "am I human?" question stayed unanswered.

He knows how it feels to struggle with your own humanity and he doesn't want for Chuuya (who he literally sees as human), to hold that inner conflict with himself because of corruption.

Anyways, Chuuya decides to go through corruption trusting that Dazai will be there to nullify it.

And of course, Dazai does nullify it.

And after Dazai nullifies corruption, we get this very touching moment between both of them.

This is the first time Chuuya openly admits to trusting Dazai, although it was always evident that he trusts him, I just love how open he is being here.

Also the light punch he gives to Dazai's chest is such a sweet gesture, I see it as a silent way for Chuuya to say "I trust you because after all this time I still see you as my partner."

Dazai's smile in that small pannel is one of the most genuine expression we have gotten out of him. What he says is also a very sweet, I love that he calls him partner. The fact that these two are literally in rival organizations yet Dazai still calls him partner, it shows us that even after all these years he still can't help but see him the same way as he has always done.

Actually in Japanese he calls him "Aibou" and from my understanding, when you use the term Aibou it's for someone who you consider yourself to be close with. It means "partner" like in english but it holds a deeper meaning. If Dazai used the word "nakama" it would have been a very diffrent story since it means partner as well but it isn't used for someone you share a significant connection with. Asagiri's play with words here says a lot.

Fifth time using corruption: Dead Apple

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22yrs old.

Of course I have to talk about one of the most iconic moments in the history of Soukoku.

Chuuya uses corruption to save Dazai, even if Ango says that he's dead for sure. Something I find very intresting here though is that Chuuya screams for Dazai while he is on corruption, he is obviously not supposed to be self concious about the whole situation, while on Corruption clearly he is not supposed to be in sane state of mind, as we all here know, Chuuya loses control and does not have the track of reality while under his own ability but this time, while using corruption, the one and only thing that was on his mind was "Dazai."

It wasn't only Chuuya who entrusted his life to Dazai, Dazai too entrusted his life in Chuuya's hands. When Dazai came up with this plan, he was more than certain that Chuuya was going to save him. And I think a tumblr blog pointed this out but when Chuuya uses curroption, he cannot control his strength, but when he had to punch Dazai he did it lightly, which is strange considering he was using curroption and it would've made a lot more sence if Dazai ended up decapitated due to being punched by a literal god. Dazai had to have faith in the fact that Chuuya will somehow be able to control corruption, even if its just a little bit.

Afterwards when Chuuya manages to rescue Dazai, Dazai gently touches his cheek to nullify corruption and greets him with, "You used Corruption believing in me? I am so touched I could cry." Chuuya groans, and replies that yes he did, that he believed in his disgusting vitality and craftiness.

When they both fall to the ground, Dazai forces Chuuya to rest in his lap because he didn't want to have to protect him from this situation since the fog is still up and Chuuya himself is all worn out and wouldn't be able to fight. But heres the thing, both Chuuya and Dazai's abilities can't be seperated by the fog. I mean Dazai's ability is nulification so it basically cancels out, and Chuuya hosts a literal god inside him so it isn't really an ability if you know what I mean.

So in reality, Dazai just wanted Chuuya to rest. Dazai could've literally just left Chuuya in the fog if he was only using him for his goals, but he was genuienly appreciating Chuuya's trust in him. The way Dazai's hand is resting on Chuuya's hair is a nice gesture too, he is greatful for him and he is moved that someone trusts him, it is shown throughout the Fifthteen and SB light novel that no one trusted Dazai and how most were afraid to even approach him. And in the ADA, everyone is somewhat warry around him (excluding Atsushi ofc). But Chuuya literally puts his life on the line trusting that Dazai will always be there to save him. He trusts him greatly and Dazai knows that, and I think its pretty clear to us that he would never want to break that trust.

The fact that Chuuya trusts Dazai even after he left the Port Mafia without an explanation or goodbye shows us how strong their bond is. Chuuya most likely trusts Dazai because deep down he knows that he isn't using Chuuya's ability out of his own selifshness, a part of him is aware that Dazai uses corruption as a last resort but he just doesn't want to admit it, and I feel like he also trusts him subconciously because of how gentle Dazai is after Chuuya uses corruption.

I really hope we get to see more of these "corruption moments" because in all honesty, these moments are the ones that bring out the most vulenrability for both characters. The moment corruption is used, we see the inmeasurable amount of trust and care these two have for each other that they won't show in other situations. During these times it always shines a very open and bittersweet light on their bond and I love it so much.

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babycharmander · 3 years

Text

If you think you have never stolen artwork, read this post.

So, art theft. If you've been a follower of mine, you've heard my barely-coherent rants about this before, but I thought it might be more productive to make a more coherent post on the subject.

If you're wondering about the title of the post here, it's because I feel like a lot of people aren't really grasping what exactly art theft is, and a LOT of people, even well-meaning ones, do it without even realizing it.

"But wait," you say. "I would never STEAL from an artist!! I never claim it as my own!" And that's all fine and good, but you're missing something here.

To start things off, what IS art theft? (It's not what deviantART said it was several years back, I'll tell you that much. *cough*)

We all know what art is, so let's talk about theft. Dictionary.com defines "theft" as "the act of stealing; the wrongful taking and carrying away of the personal goods or property of another; larceny." Okay, makes sense, but what about that other word there, stealing? Dictionary.com defines "steal" as "to take (the property of another or others) without permission or right, especially secretly or by force."

From those definitions, we can go on to define art theft as, specifically, "taking art without permission or right." In the context of art, that typically involves reposting it (not reblogging--reblogging is different) or using it for other things.

And there, my friends, is the issue.

If something is taken or used without permission, it is stolen. Permission is the important thing here--if an artist says "oh yeah, you can go ahead and use this!" then it's not stolen. You have their permission. But if you DON'T have that, then it IS stolen. It IS theft.

"But I'm not claiming it as my own!" you say. But you don't have to claim it as your own--the act of taking it in and of itself is an act of theft.

"But I said 'credit to the artist!'" The "credit" thing is a whole other conversation, but here's the short of it: The entire point of credit is to direct people to the source of something. If you are not directly linking to where you got the art from, you are not giving credit. "Credit to the artist" is not actually credit of any kind whatsoever. (Also, Google and Pinterest are not sources.)

"But I DID link back to the artist!" Okay, now this is where it may get confusing, because you may think you're covered because you actually did give credit. Here's the problem: if you reposted it or used it without permission, regardless of whether you gave credit or not, it's still stealing.

I'm bolding this because it's a point that a lot of people get tripped up on. Let me explain it this way: If you went into your neighbor's house and took something of theirs without their permission, but you told people "oh yeah, I got this from [neighbor]'s house!" that that would still, of course, be stealing, and it's no different for art.

Another thing is that even when you credit, people don't always check the source. Very recently I found a case where someone had reposted a piece of artwork of mine to Pinterest that was deliberately made to look like it came from the source material (it wasn't meant to confuse anyone, though--the description of my original post made it very clear that it was fanart). The person who reposted had linked back to my original post. The problem? The comments had people asking if this was official, where it happened in the source material, etc. Despite the fact that the source was right there, no one thought to look at it.

Even if you link back to the source, if you did it without the artist's permission, it's still stealing, and still causes problems for us artists.

"But I just posted it to my Pinterest--" DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT POST AN ARTIST'S WORK TO PINTEREST IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THEIR EXPLICIT PERMISSION TO DO SO.

"But this artist friend of mine says they're okay if I post their work to my Pinterest so long as I link back to them!" Good for your friend! But the fact that your friend is okay with it doesn't mean that all artists are okay with it. For me, personally, I am very not okay with my work being posted to Pinterest, and say as much on my art blog description and posts (which people tend to ignore).

The problem with Pinterest--and reposting art in general--is that we artists don't know when it happens unless we're told, or unless we find it ourselves. It causes us to lose control of our art. And because of this, our art can spiral further out of our control, because when our works get posted to Pinterest or other similar websites, people who have no grasp whatsoever on how art works will just take it as "free art" and then use it for whatever they want.

That's how a piece I spent 20+ hours on was used as a poster for a paid event, without my permission, and without any payment or credit to me.

If an artist has said nothing about Pinterest (or other similar image sharing sites), your default should be to assume that they don't want their artwork posted there.

"Well I didn't repost someone's art, but I did use it for my avatar/RPing icon/video/fic cover/photo edit--" That's still stealing. If you're using it without their permission for any reason, that is stealing. Not to mention, the artist may not be cool with what you're using their art for anyway. (Looking at you, people who use platonic art in your shipping videos.)

“I MEANT to ask them for permission, but I forgot!” This can ONLY happen if you used the artwork BEFORE you asked for permission. You can resolve this by asking for permission BEFORE you use it, rather than assuming the answer will be “yes” and using it before asking.

"But it took me a really long time to make that icon/video/cover/edit!!" How long do you think it took the original artist to draw their piece? It doesn't matter how much work you put into modifying someone else's art--if you're doing it without their permission, you're still stealing.

"But I couldn't find the original artist! I tried to find them, I really did, but I couldn't. Is it okay to use their art then?" No, because you still don't have permission, and by reposting it anyway, you’re continuing to make the artwork spiral out of their control.

"What if I found the artist, but they speak a different language from mine? I can't ask them for permission, so is it okay if I repost their art anyway?" NO!! DO NOT DO THIS!! If there is a language barrier, use Google translate or find someone to translate for you and get a hold of the artist that way to ask them for their permission. The language barrier is NEVER an excuse to steal artwork. There are plenty of non-English-speaking artists who have taken ALL OF THEIR ARTWORK OFFLINE because the art theft was completely out of control. (And this isn't just exclusive to English-speakers stealing art from people who don't speak their language. It happens artists who don't speak English stealing art from English-speakers, too, but as this post is written in English it doesn't do much good for me to rant about this here.) If you can’t ask their permission, do not use it!!

"But what about reblogging?! Isn't that the same as reposting?? Should we not reblog art at all then?" No, reblogging (or retweeting) is not the same as reposting. If you reblog art, you keep all the information that we attached to the art, including our blog name and the description attached to the art. Reblogging/retweeting actually helps us artists A LOT, so as long as you're reblogging from the original artist (and not someone who's reposting their art), by all means, reblog our art!

"What if I just want to share someone else's artwork on Discord or show it to a friend?" This one's a bit different and is not actually as problematic. If you want to share our work on Discord or whatever, just link directly to where we posted it. Please don't post the art itself, unless you're doing it alongside a link because Discord won't show a preview or something.

"What about a forum or a site like Reddit?" This one's a bit different, since due to the way Reddit functions, if you LINK to the art, you have to go directly to the artist's original page to view it. (At least, that’s what it’s like the last time I was active there.) In a way it's roughly the same as with Discord--be sure you're linking directly to the actual post rather than just uploading the art on its own--but I would also ask the artist if they're okay with it, because they may be a member of the subreddit or forum and want to post it themselves, or they might not want their work shared to specific communities. (Some communities have a function where a bot will repost the artwork to Imgur, and some artists don't want that done with their art.)

"What if I'm saving it to my computer/phone to look at later, or making it into my desktop/phone wallpaper?" IMO this is fine, since your computer/phone files aren't public, and neither is your wallpaper. It's only a problem when you post it to public places without our permission.

"What if it's art I commissioned?" Well... like... in that case, it's art you paid for, so unless the artist you commissioned laid out very specific terms for you, you should be good to use that art. Like, at most, the artist may ask you to credit them somewhere in your blog description if they drew your icon or something, or credit them in a fic description if you commissioned a fic illustration from them, or something to that effect. It's really something you should have already worked out with the artist beforehand, but for the most part you should probably be fine to use art you paid for however you like.

"What about art I requested?" This is a bit different from commissioned work. Just because the art was drawn at your request doesn't mean it's explicitly yours (unless it's like, a drawing of your original character or something). Some artists take requests more as suggestions, so the art they draw in response to a suggestion or request is still theirs. Treat this as you would any other artwork and ask the artist for permission first before you do anything with the artwork you requested from them.

“What about NFTs?” ... Okay this one I can’t really go over too much because I barely understand it in the first place, but NFTs are BAD for artists and are a form of art theft. Do not turn people’s art into NFTs. This is a crappy thing to do. (If you want more information on this one, you’ll have to look it up yourself. It’s a form of cryptocurrency and it’s confusing.)

“If you don’t want your art stolen you shouldn’t post it in the first place.” This is fascinating logic. Try applying it to something else and see how it holds up. “If you don’t want your merchandise stolen, you shouldn’t open a booth.” “If you don’t want to get poisoned you shouldn’t eat food.” “If you don’t want to get punched in the face, don’t walk outside.” Yes. Flawless logic. Truly.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?! I'm sharing your art because I like it! That's a compliment! Shouldn't you be happy?" Well, we're certainly glad you like our art, but the problem is... as I've said before, reposting our art causes us to lose our control over it. When we lose control of our art, that damages our livelihood. As I said before, other people have made money off of my artwork. As well, some artists lose jobs because when their potential employers check out their portfolio, they may find artwork that's been reposted everywhere online, so they cannot hire the artist because they believe they may have stolen the artwork in their own portfolio.

Your reposting an image you thought was cute to Facebook or Pinterest could cost an artist their job. Think about that.

So, tl;dr, keep this in mind: you need the artist's permission to repost or use their artwork. If you do not have it, it is stealing, even if you credit the artist.

I know this post is really harsh in places, but this is such an important thing for all artists, and there's so many misconceptions about art theft online. And I feel like one of the biggest problems is that when some people see posts on art theft, they ignore them, because they think they've never done it or would never do it, so that's why I worded this post the way I did. I'm not trying to hurt anyone--I just want people to understand what art theft is, how it affects us artists, and how you can avoid it. Thank you for reading.

#long post #psa #drawing #art theft

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