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joeys-babe · 4 months

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Joey B Imagines: Rocky Mountain Way*

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Summary: Flashback. You take Joe on a trip with your family to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. It was an annual trip your family took every year when you were a kid, and this year, you took your boyfriend Joe for the first time.

Warnings: Smut, fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

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December 4, 2023

(y/n’s pov)

Today, Joe and I were leaving for Colorado with my family.

My parents have been taking me and my two brothers on this yearly trip our whole lives, and this year was my first time taking Joe.

I was the oldest of my two brothers, being 27.

The middle sibling, Tanner, was 21.

The youngest, Harrison, was 18.

Harrison was a senior in high school and had a girlfriend, but he wasn't allowed to take her with us on our Colorado trip.

Tanner was bringing his fiance, Lucy, though. They had been dating since the 8th grade, and Tanner knew from the beginning she was the one. He just wanted to wait to propose till they could celebrate their engagement with drinking.

As soon as they were both 21, he proposed.

Crazy that my little brother got engaged before me, but I know Joe is taking his time. It’ll happen eventually, I hope.

Lucy had been coming on the Colorado trip with us since they graduated high school. My parents found her and Tanner mature enough to share a room.

When Joe found this out, he was slightly offended as to why he hadn't been invited to come.

I had to break it to him that he had been invited every year since we started dating at twenty years old.

And that I had declined the offer from my parents before even asking him.

Joe was annoyed, confused, and a little hurt. He thought it was because I didn't want him there.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

The real reason I didn't want to bring Joe? Sex.

When I told him, Joe laughed at my reasoning, but it was a genuine worry.

Since we started dating in 2017, Joe and I have pretty much, at least, had one round of sex a day.

Of course, there were some days missed since then because life got in the way or we were too tired at the end of the day, but it slowly became a part of our daily routine as a couple.

Why would this be a problem, though? Why would this make me decline an invitation for my boyfriend to go on vacation with me and my family?

I’m not comfortable having intercourse under the same roof as my family.

There were no problems for me if it was under the same roof as strangers or friends, like quickies in an event bathroom or a friend’s bedroom at a get-together. It was purely just my family.

The thought of my parents hearing me make a sound or the headboard of the bed hitting the wall… made me want to puke.

Eventually, though, I gave in to Joe and told him he could go with us this year.

My only stipulation? No sex the entire trip.

Joe happily agreed, saying he could go a week without it, but here we were…

Day two, and Joe was lying in bed next to me, complaining of unresolved horniness.

“Baby, please. We can be super quiet, and you can ride me so the bed doesn't move that much…” - Joe

“Convincing, but no. You knew what you were getting yourself into when I agreed to let you come.” - you

“I know, but I was way in over my head. It's been 48 hours, and I already can’t stop thinking about sex.” - Joe

“Typical man.” - you mumbled

“You don’t feel it?” - Joe

“Feel what?” - you

I asked in a slightly apprehensive manner, hoping he wouldn't just say “My dick”.

“Slightly deprived?” - Joe

“Baby, you're not being deprived… but, no I don't. It feels a little weird going two days without it since it’s become a part of our routine, but no I don't feel deprived.” - you

“Yeah. Maybe I am just a typical man.” - Joe

He rolled over to where his back was facing me, and I started to get worried that he might think I was mad at him.

Reaching out to rub his muscular back with my hand, I scooted closer to him and laid my chin on his shoulder.

“I shouldn't have said that earlier. I'm sorry, Joey.” - you

“It's okay, I guess. Goodnight.” - Joe

“Goodnight, Joe. I love you.” - you

I leaned my head over to place a kiss in the crook of his neck, and Joe laced his fingers with mine of the hand that was lying on his stomach.

“I love you too.” - Joe yawned

——

December 9, 2023

It was the day before Joe’s birthday and the last day of the trip.

When we woke up this morning, everyone was gone already, probably already at the slopes.

Surprisingly, Joe had gone snowboarding with us every day and he was pretty good at it too.

It wasn't too surprising, though, because Joe Burrow doesn't half-ass anything.

That includes the snowball fight that broke out between us while we were snowboarding yesterday.

I had jokingly thrown a snowball at Joe while we were discussing which path to take, and it unleashed a whole war.

Joe didn't hold back or go uneasy on me. He was throwing them pretty much as hard as he could, football-style, and I ended up on the ground.

In the end, Joe lay in the snow next to me, and we made a no-snowball-fight truce for the rest of the trip.

My family would be in the mountains for a few more hours, skiing, sledding, and snowboarding.

So Joe and I had the cabin to ourselves for the majority of the day.

After eating breakfast while cuddling up on the huge couch, Joe asked me what we should do with our alone time.

“Wanna get in the hot tub? We can drink some champagne and just relax.” - you

“Sounds amazing.” - Joe

Joe leaned into me and pressed a kiss to my lips before we hopped off of the couch and went to our room to change into our swimming clothes.

I went out onto the deck first because Joe had to stay back for a second to use the bathroom.

It was absolutely freezing outside so I immediately hopped into the hot tub and cranked the heat on.

A few minutes later, Joe came running out onto the porch with champagne and two glass flutes for us.

“Holy fuck, it's cold!” - Joe ran

Laughing at his little run, Joe launched himself into the hot tub, his big body making the water splash over the sides.

“Joe!” - you laughed

“Sorry…” - Joe gave you a sheepish smile

Joe got settled next to me and gently grabbed my legs to drape them over his lap.

“May I interest you in some champagne?” - Joe

“You may.” - you giggled

He handed me both of the flutes and uncorked the champagne. My eyes lingered on his sexy, veiny hands.

After pouring the bubbly liquid into the glasses, Joe stood up and moved to the other side of the hot tub to put the bottle on the table.

I couldn't help but stare at my boyfriend’s trained, muscular body. His toned torso and built chest looked even more appealing as the beads of water ran over them.

When Joe turned around, I felt a flutter in my stomach… and in other places as the defined muscles in his back flexed.

“Lookin’ good, Joey.” - you purred

Joe settled back down in his spot and sent a flirty wink my way, those big hands finding my thighs to place them in his lap yet again.

We clinked our glasses together and took a sip, Joe resting his hand on the inside of my thigh.

“I love you.” - you

“I love you too.” - Joe grinned

I ran one of my hands up Joe’s torso before keeping it against his chest.

“Since no one’s around… wanna make out?” - you

Joe laughed at my forward question but nodded his head before leaning forward to kiss me.

The kisses were feverish and rough. Joe’s tongue slid into my mouth and tangled with mine.

Eventually, Joe pulled me onto his lap and gently grasped my hips to start moving me on him.

It didn't take long for me to feel Joe get hard in his swim shorts, and I broke away from his lips.

Joe’s usual pink lips were red and wet with my saliva, and he looked so hot like this.

“I need you.” - you

“Take me then.” - Joe

I reached down to palm Joe through his shorts, relishing in his groan before moving the waistband away from his stomach.

Joe’s erection immediately sprang out of his shorts, and he winced at the feeling of the hot water around his cock.

Feeling the need to hurry, I maneuvered myself to hover over top of Joe and sank onto him.

He slapped a hand over his mouth to stop any loud sounds from leaving his mouth. Joe wasn't usually loud during sex, but after a week without it, I wasn't surprised when he muffled a loud moan.

“Take your hand off.” - you

“I- don't wanna be loud.” - Joe

“It's hot, I promise.” - you

I gently took his hand off of his mouth and started moving on him.

The expression on his face told me that he wasn't going to last very long, and I decided to do something that I'd never done.

“You’re not allowed to come till I say you can, okay Joe?” - you

“Fuck… okay.” - Joe groaned

Joe’s dick twitched inside me when I said that. He must like it when I take charge.

“You feel so good.” - you moaned

“Missed you, baby.” - Joe

He buried his head into my neck and moaned lowly, I could tell he was feeling self-conscious about being louder.

“I love it when you moan… so hot.” - you

After moaning myself, Joe removed his head from my neck and looked at me with an appreciative smile.

“Really?” - Joe

Just after he asked that, his cock bottomed out, and the tip brushed against my cervix, causing us both to moan.

“See? So damn hot.” - you

My walls squeezed his length and Joe finally felt confident enough to moan louder… and fuck.

“Joey, oh god!” - you

“Shit, I'm close.” - Joe groaned

“Don’t come yet.” - you

Joe nodded his head but a couple of minutes later, he couldn't wait any longer.

“Please? Can I come?” - Joe

“Not yet, wait, Joe- fuck.” - you

With every movement of my hips, Joe whimpered. I could tell he was starting to get overstimulated but I wanted to finish at the same time.

“Baby, please.” - Joe whimpered

“Just a little longer.” - you moaned

“Shit!” - Joe grunted

I started moving faster, and Joe was writhing beneath me. He was biting his bottom lip so hard that I was surprised that he hadn't drawn blood yet.

Shakily, Joe moved his hand towards where we were connected and circled over my clit with his thumb.

“Mmm. Shit, baby.” - you moaned

Joe was panting in my ear and his cock continuously throbbed deep inside me.

Feeling myself getting closer to my release, I slammed my lips against Joe’s and started hotly making out.

After a few seconds of kissing, I slowly broke away from him, pulling his lower lips between my teeth before letting go.

“Come for me.” - you

Almost immediately Joe grabbed my hips and slammed his entire length as deep as it could get.

“Fuck, y/n!” - Joe moaned loudly

Just as he was shooting his load deep inside, I came around his length, and we moaned into each other’s mouths.

Joe hunched over into my chest, his head falling onto my shoulder. I rubbed over his back to comfort him.

“You okay, Joey?” - you

I kissed his temple sweetly, and when he didn't answer I pulled his head away from my shoulder.

“Mhm. Think I passed out for a sec.” - Joe mumbled

“I kinda got carried away.” - you giggled

“S’all good. It was kinda hot.” - Joe

“Yeah?” - you

“Yeah.” - Joe cuddled back into your neck

——

An hour later, we had taken a shower that Joe almost fell asleep twice during and were now cuddled up on the couch.

Joe lay on top of me, his head buried in my chest as I simultaneously played with his hair and rubbed his back.

He had fallen asleep right after I started the movie.

I giggled when I thought back to what he told me right before falling asleep.

“Shit, I'm so tired after that, but I think it's safe to say that Rocky Mountain Way is the best sex we've had. We seriously need to buy a hot tub for the house.” - Joe

Of course, this man is already thinking about sex again.

“Is the jacuzzi bathtub not enough?” - you laughed

“Uh-huh.” - Joe

“I'll start looking for one.” - you

“Good. Love you, bab-” - Joe

I waited for him to finish his sentence, and when he didn't I went to look down at him.

Before I could, though, little snores filled the air.

Laughing to myself as I pressed a kiss to his forehead, I shook my head looking down at his sleeping face.

I'm so glad I finally decided to take him with me.

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Authors note: idk what to say really.

Request included in this fic;

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow smut

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stusbunker · 2 months

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Spotless: Pomposo

Chapter Fourteen

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Other characters: Sam, Dean/Jo, John/Kate, Adam, Ellen, Garth/Bess (in passing), Cas and Mary (mentioned)

Word Count: 4559

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining. MORE BACKSTORY AHEAD, story takes place currently in Dec 2017, flashback to Jan. 2004 in italics, talk of Sam's past use of hard drugs, hangovers, vomit, car accidents, injuries, character death, guilt, John was not so great a parent or husband, some paraphrasing of last chapter unbeta'd

Special shout out to @thoughtslikeaminefield who helped immensely on sorting out the backstory for this chapter too, way back when I started outlining this thing.

Series Masterlist

Sam settled on some old school soul music to start their road trip and Dean couldn’t even come up with a reason to complain. Aretha sang in the background and they headed east, the world was their oyster and all that. Dean held onto the small bit of smug satisfaction from the interview with Meg as the city disappeared behind them. She really wanted him to crack, but he hadn't and that gave him some hope for going home.

They veered north for a bit and continued on I-40 until they hit Flagstaff. Dean liked the mountains, the air was infinitely better than LA and there was something about spending the holidays where it got cold that made sense. Unfortunately, it was just an overnight stay. How they managed a room in the first hotel they tried, he’d never know. He just shuffled in with his duffel bag and his ball cap over his now sleep-sloppy hair. There was a player-piano in the lobby and Dean had the fleeting thought about how Cas was spending the holidays.

Maybe he’d try and leave him another message, it had been months.

Sam called Madison after dinner and Dean decided to check out the amenities in order to not have to watch Sam get all goopy. Dean hadn’t packed a bathing suit, but a gym’s a gym even if it’s just three treadmills, a stair climber and free weights. So, he jogged for a little bit, watching whatever passed for news. He forgot his earbuds in the room and it really wasn’t worth going back for, he was finding his groove even without music as a buffer to the world around him.

After a solid 5k, Dean stepped down to stretch. Which worked out because a couple in their fifties came in just as he started some curls, leaving the treadmills open for their evening stroll. They talked about their family, the wife explaining what she got each of their grandchildren and where they were supposed to be on which day. Perfectly normal people conversation, but something about it made Dean sad, so he tried to tune them out and focus on his reps.

Part of his life after Cain and Alistair was a loss of gym time. Sure, he could work out at home or even do laps around the neighborhood, but it wasn’t the hours in the ring or at the bag or with a jump rope full-body-punishment that he had worked himself up to. It was also a lot more peaceful, less reactionary. And Dean decided he would find a balance between stagnation and self-destruction. Twenty eighteen was just around the corner afterall.

Dean got back to the room in time to shower and crash. If they wanted to push it, they could make it to their Dad’s place the next day. But neither of them were in a hurry, even in Sam’s fuckboy Charger it was nice to be on the road together. Dean took the first stretch towards Albuquerque, but Sam called it in Santa Fe. He had thought ahead and booked them a hotel instead of chancing it again, which surprised Dean for some reason. Sam had gone and gotten to be responsible while Dean was busy fishing himself out of professional purgatory.

“You talk to Bela?” Sam asked as they waited for their pizza to be delivered.

“Uh, she texted me that she landed at Heathrow, but not really. Why?” Dean asked after taking a sip of his beer.

“Wasn’t sure if you guys were doing the whole gift exchange thing,” Sam shrugged. “Madison made me wait until after we get back to give her hers.”

Dean chuckled. “I don’t want to know what you’re giving her, alright?”

Sam rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored the innuendo. “Won’t people be asking about what you got her?”

Dean hadn’t really thought about it. “I guess I could ask Trouble for some ideas, see if she thinks it’s necessary we post about it. I don’t know, I was kind of hoping of forgetting about the whole thing until New Year’s at Elizabeth’s, you know?”

Sam leveled Dean with a glare. “You know Dad is gonna ask to meet her.”

Dean set down his beer. “Well it’s a good thing she’s halfway across the world then.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Mom loved that show,” Sam said thoughtfully.

He was right. Dean had completely forgotten about why he’d recognized Bela the first time they’d met at your housewarming party way back when. But, yeah, Mary had watched ‘Red Sky in the Morning’ every Tuesday night after she put them to bed. Once Dean reached junior high, he was able to persuade her to let him stay up and watch too.

“I can’t believe it was on as long as it was, it was fucking awful,” Dean said playfully.

“Yeah, but it was her escape,” Sam added gently.

Dean took a long pull off his beer. “I guess so.”

When Sam went to meet the delivery driver, Dean turned on the television, banking on some sort of Christmas special to take his mind off memory lane. They ate quietly, letting last minute sales commercials drown out their thoughts. Tomorrow they were going home, or as close to it as they had outside of LA. Dean felt lopsided over getting to see Adam, having to navigate his dad, and tiptoeing Kate’s well-meaning but invasive nature.

But that’s family for you, nothing more important than that.

Dean rolled over on the couch, something had woken him up and he was too hungover to let it win. But it didn’t stop, a trilling sound coming from his pants pocket, fuck, it was his phone. He cracked one eye open and checked the caller id.

He closed his eyes and answered. “Morning, beautiful.”

“Dean Winchester?” a harried voice asked, decidedly not Jo.

“Ellen?”

“Yeah, listen— there’s been an accident. Jo and Y/N were T-boned on Hound Drive last night. Can you come to the hospital? I just came home for a change of clothes, but I’m heading back there now.”

Dean sat up, liquor and a headache dulling his reflexes. “Ellen? What are they saying?”

“She’s in the ICU. I— we need you there.”

Terror flooded Dean’s system, churning with a relentless guilt. Jo wouldn’t have been out so late if it wasn’t to see him. He swallowed. “Uh, of course. Do you want me to drive you? I can be there in ten minutes.”

“I’ll pick you up. I’ve got my truck, the roads are still a mess.”

“Right, okay, I’m at Dad and Kate’s— do you–”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“Ellen? Be careful.”

“Don’t you start young man.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Ellen hung up.

Dean stumbled into the bathroom and threw up. He didn’t have time for a shower. Instead he grabbed his shaving kit and threw on a fresh layer of deodorant and brushed his teeth. He pounded three Advil with the water from one of those flowery Dixie cups Kate kept in a plastic dispenser on the counter. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, he knew how bad he must look. He stomped back into the living room and swapped his sweaty flannel for one that smelled neutral from his duffel. Adam showed up as Dean was shoving his boots on.

“Dean? Can I put on cartoons?”

He didn’t jump, Dean didn’t get scared of six-year-olds in footie pajamas. He was just on edge, was all.

“Knock yourself out,” Dean said.

“Where are you going?” Adam asked, stealing the afghan Dean had left on the floor.

“Uh, friend of mine had an accident, so I’m heading to the hospital. Can you tell Dad? I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“You can tell me yourself,” John’s voice pressed in behind Dean as he came in from the kitchen, mug of coffee in hand.

“Dad—,” Dean looked at his father, a man who had been on the road cheating on his mother for years. The same mother who died in a fire because John couldn’t bother to make sure to keep the electrical in their shitty double wide up to code. “It’s Jo. Ellen’s gonna take me to the hospital. Dad, I—”

John’s entire stance changed. “Go. Call when you know something. I’ll send Sammy when he’s up, he’ll know what to do.”

They both knew Sam couldn’t stop whatever was happening, but he’d keep Dean from causing a scene.

A car honked in the driveway.

“I gotta go. Thanks,” Dean brushed past his dad without even a glance at Adam.

Dean wouldn’t let Ellen drive, even hungover he trusted himself behind the wheel more than a desperate mother. She only pretended to argue before sliding across the bench seat and letting him in. The roads were a mess. In the thirty minute drive to the hospital, Dean saw another two cars in the ditch. Though, it was clear now in the morning sunshine, everything was blinding in its whiteness.

“Listen, you shut up and keep your head down. Let me do the talking,” Ellen warned him as they approached the reception desk.

“Hi, I’m Ellen Harvelle, I’m here to see my daughter Joanna? This is her fiance.”

Dean squirmed, but nodded at the nurse who looked at him like she wanted to reach over and hug him. “Of course, right this way.”

She led Dean and Ellen down a hushed hallway, the beeping of machines and huffing of ventilators the only sounds escaping the doorways as they passed. Dean looked around for a trash can, the painkillers in his stomach threatening to come back up. Ellen took his hand and pulled him into a room.

Jo was hooked up to more machines than should have fit in the tiny room. Her hair was matted with blood and she was drowning in the hospital gown. Her beautiful face was swollen and red, the bruises still forming where she hit the passenger side window— or maybe that was the dashboard, Dean couldn’t tell she was so misshapen.

“Oh, Jo,” Dean’s voice broke. He stopped himself from saying anything as the nurse talked, but all he wanted to do was sob.

He didn’t realize he had let go of Ellen’s hand until he was clenching the rail along Jo’s bedside. Ellen stood on the other side of her, carefully brushing the hair out of Jo’s beaten face. Her one arm was framed in a metal fixator, skin angry from where the bone sliced her open from the inside. Her leg was in a brace, but at least that meant those bones were more salvageable.

“What happened?” Dean said eventually, unsure of when the nurse left. He eyed the machines tracking Jo’s heart rate, but he wasn’t sure if the readings were good or bad.

“Someone was driving on the wrong side of the road— couldn’t see the lines and Y/N swerved to miss them, they spun out and the other car didn’t stop. They took her to surgery– her right knee was shattered.”

“Jo took the brunt of it,” Dean stated the obvious, still too terrified to reach out and touch Jo. She was suddenly so very fragile.

Ellen sniffed.

“They are watching for internal bleeding before they’ll operate. Her brain—," Ellen couldn’t finish.

“Hey,” Dean rushed around the bed and pulled Ellen against his chest, finally giving his hands something to do. “They’re doing everything they can.”

“It’s not enough,” Ellen argued.

“I know,” Dean agreed, squeezing her tighter.

Ellen pulled back and wiped her eyes, muttering to herself about going soft. Dean needed to give her a moment, hell, he needed a minute to catch his breath. He told her he was going to find coffee and she told him they had a waiting area down the hall. He nearly ran out of Jo’s room.

He checked his watch, it was just after ten o’clock. And as exhausted and hungover as Dean felt, he was pretty sure Ellen hadn’t slept at all after closing the bar. He wondered if she’d even made it home before getting the call. He found the coffee maker and pushed a button for something hot and thin and caffeinated. He wondered if Y/N had passed a breathalyzer, knowing how much Jo had been drinking didn’t make him certain her driver was much better off.

He was gonna be sick again.

He left the paper cup on the grate and fell into one of the stiff plastic chairs around the small table. He put his head between his knees and breathed, resting on his elbows. Dean counted the flecks in the white linoleum squares beneath his feet.

Nothing made sense. They were just getting started. Last night there was the impossible giddiness of seeing her in person after so long and now the unabashed horror of her mother sneaking him into the hospital as her fiance so he could see her before…

She was eighteen-fucking-years-old and he was going to lose her.

And it was all his fault.

He stared at the floor until he couldn’t anymore. The coffee was nothing more than a passing burn on the way to his knotted stomach. But he couldn’t stop the tears and he wouldn’t go back to Ellen until they were dry, she needed him to be better than that. When he couldn’t cry anymore and after he used his last single for a pack of peanut M&Ms, Dean went back to Jo’s room.

Ellen was asleep in an ugly mauve chair with her hand clutching Jo’s good ankle over the thin hospital blanket. Dean found another blanket from a CNA and tucked it around Ellen’s shoulders. He stood guard, through Ellen’s brief nap and the three o’clock shift change, even after Sam came by with lunch but left because he wasn’t allowed on the ward.

The seizures started around five and Ellen and Dean were asked to wait outside. Before six, she was wheeled away from them into emergency surgery and by seven she was gone. Dean had to hold Ellen back from slugging the surgeon. He caught her when she finally sank into reality, and somehow Dean found more tears.

Nothing felt real, least of all Dean himself.

Adam looked Dean in the eye and grinned.

“Get over here you little shit, I told you to stop growing the last time I saw you didn’t I?” Dean hugged his youngest brother hard, thumping him on the back as he rocked from foot to foot. “Good to see you, man.”

“You too,” Adam grunted out before Dean could release him.

Then came John, waiting for Dean as he walked through the front door. They didn’t say anything, just gave each other the once over and went in for the hug. John held him tight until he cleared his throat, stepping away from the vulnerable moment. Sam came in with his bags and hugged Kate first, who had been waiting in the hallway to the kitchen.

“Sammy,” John said, holding out his arms.

“Hey Dad,” Sam hugged with genuine warmth on his face, Dean never thought he’d see the day. But time does things to a person, and forgiveness was always Sam’s superpower.

“You boys hungry? I can reheat dinner, I know you’ve been on the road, wasn’t sure when you’d get in,” Kate offered as Dean went in for the obligatory hug. She had colored her hair, instead of her natural blonde it was a mature auburn, covering the gray and giving her a different air.

“Don’t worry about us, we can scavenge for something later,” Dean assured her. “I like your hair.”

That startled her. “Oh! Thank you, yeah I just figured I’d do something different for winter, you know.”

“Don’t she look good? I told her redheads are feisty,” John teased, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“Gross,” Adam called on the way to the basement, where Sam had headed down to watch him finish his game.

“Beer?” John offered and Dean gladly accepted.

Arriving three days early was pushing their luck, Dean knew that, but there was nothing keeping him in LA. And after the novelty of catching up and last minute shopping in the tiny downtown of Mills’ Crossing, there wasn’t much more small talk to be had.

Naturally, John started it. But it was over Sam that had Dean’s hackles up first. They were sitting down for a late lunch, having gone to church as a family for the first time since Kate and John got married when John made a comment about it was good to see Sam’s forearms ‘healthy’.

What he meant was he was proud of Sam for kicking his habit, for staying clean. What John didn’t know was that Sam was so good at hiding it, Dean had to check between his toes before he finally got him into rehab the last time. Seven years since Sam had kicked it and John still needed to point it out.

The jam session that night seemed to clear the air. Adam had decided he was a drummer sometime after Dean and Sam’s first platinum album so John built him an entire soundproof room in the basement to go wild. Which meant the Winchester men were a full four piece, if they got to pick their parts. Dean abstained from playing lead because it was John’s house after all, but the old man’s hands weren’t what they used to be. And that gave Dean a little bit of satisfaction.

They rolled through the classics, even playing a couple of Phantom Traveler’s songs that didn’t rely too much on the keys. Dean made John sing though, laughing when he made up his own lyrics.

They ended the night with a drunken, almost punk rendition of Jingle Bell Rock after which Kate shut the lights out on them and told them to go to bed.

Christmas Eve was boring, Dean had gotten stir crazy and kept checking his phone. He knew you had gotten in the night before, but he couldn’t justify trying to hang out while you had such little time with your family as it was. Sam gave him a look and they started playing poker, teasing Adam that he needed to know every version of the game if he was gonna hold his own one day.

Kate wiped the floor with them all.

They had eggnog and exchanged one round of gifts before going to bed, no expectations of Santa Claus or any set wake up time scheduled. It was just another day. Dean barely slept, anxiety churning inside him. He tried meditating. He even prayed, but God, who was understandably busy that night, didn’t save him. Because he woke up with a bug up his ass and, naturally, his father was the first one to point it out.

“You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?” John asked after Dean cursed at Adam’s obnoxious ringtone.

“Do a lot more with it than that,” Dean muttered before he could stop himself.

“Dean Winchester,” John snapped as if Dean was still sixteen, still living under his roof.

“Oh, come on, kids in college, he’s heard worse,” Dean griped, going back to his coffee.

It all went downhill from there. Naturally, Adam got the lion’s share of gifts. Sam and Dean didn’t need anything, but it was so uneven it looked like John and Kate didn’t even remember they were coming to visit. Meanwhile, John’s plasma screen had arrived two days earlier and Sam and Dean were tasked with installing it in the living room midmorning.

Nothing says family time like manual labor and micromanagement.

Dean started drinking before Kate had taken the ham out of the oven. And while Sam wasn’t exactly keeping track, Dean felt like he was asking for whatever bitchface he got next. He just couldn’t stop himself once he started snarking.

Adam was telling them about the musical composition class he had finished and how he had written something for a string quartet.

“Our new keyboard player went to Julliard, you should send it to him,” Dean said off the cuff, before shoving some venison sausage in his mouth from the snack trays Kate put out.

“So you upgraded from Cas officially now?” John asked suspiciously.

“Dad, Cas left the band last spring, of course we made it official,” Sam cut in. John already knew this.

“I know, I just hoped you boys would work it out.”

Dean laughed darkly. “Nothing to work out. Dude left, we moved on.”

“And why did he leave exactly?” John goaded Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes, John was one to talk. He had pissed off half of all musicians between the Rockies and New Orleans before he hung it up.

“Let’s call it the Winchester temper and leave it at that,” Dean smiled without teeth, then popped more snacks into his mouth.

“Yeah, cuz the Campbell blood held only saints,” John muttered.

“Dad!” Sam admonished.

“That’s fucking rich! Talking about her when she’s not here to call you on your shit. I fucking punched Cas, alright?! You happy?! And who, DAD, taught me how to do that? Huh? Winchester temper. Not Campbell. That one was all from you.”

John stepped into Dean’s space, but spoke to Sam. “Sam, take your brother outside for a walk to cool down before dinner.”

Sam grunted in confirmation.

“Watch how you talk to me in my own home, Dean. Or I’ll show you a Winchester temper,” John said lowly. “You understand?”

Dean rolled his shoulders and looked his father in the eye. “Who exactly paid for this house again, Dad? Yeah, I’ll talk to you how you deserve it. I’m out of here.”

Dean felt Adam watching from the corner as Kate pulled John out of the kitchen and into their bedroom to give him a piece of her mind. Sam nodded at their younger brother, silently thanking him for holding down the fort as Dean stormed out the front door.

The Roadhouse was blissfully the same, with only a handful of beaten down cars in the parking lot. Dean had spent enough Christmases at bars or taverns throughout his life, but now he just wanted something that felt like home to get through this tightness in his chest. What they found inside was something altogether more special.

Ellen’s entire face lit up as they walked in, an empty plate in front of her and Garth manning the food line. Dean got his hug in first, but Sam took his time asking about what was going on. Then you were there, and Dean felt a hot shame creep up because he was this close to falling into old patterns. And that wasn’t how he ever wanted you to see him. He zipped his lips, pleading with himself to get a handle on his temper already.

He felt you breathe him in, the truth was never hard for you to suss out. And yet Dean held on, needing you close, being stupid and selfish as ever.

They took their free meal and ducked into a corner, watching as Ellen played angel to the downtrodden of Boone county. Slowly, Dean was able to set his shit aside. With Sam talking about anything and everything across from him; he accepted his resentment for his father, his frustration at himself and the stupid fucking feelings he had for you. It all seemed much more manageable when faced with people who had to get over much bigger obstacles with so much less. There was one more thing he promised he’d do while he was home, now that he’d visited Ellen. And he double checked that Sam was still good to go with him, to be his chauffeur.

They helped clean up, though Ellen moved a mile a minute and did tasks faster than she could explain them. And then Ellen was handing you off like a Christmas present, one that Dean couldn’t ever accept.

Ellen said her goodbyes and left Dean standing in the parking lot without much of a guess on what you wanted to do next.

“I guess we better get going,” he said, asking Sam more than anything.

Then Sam reminded Dean about the cemetery and a new wave of guilt seeped into Dean’s stomach. When it came to Jo, you had first dibs. She was your best friend and Dean’d be damned if he’d visit her without you getting a chance to too. As macabre as it was, he felt he owed it to you.

You looked like you were going to be ill.

“Maybe we should ask her if she wants to go,” he told Sam, searching your eyes for permission at the very least.

You took your time with the idea, but turned him down. “If it’s okay, would you mind dropping me off first? I know it’s in the other direction.”

Dean felt you sinking behind a wall the further they got from the Roadhouse, you asked questions and made conversation, but you weren’t really in it. He probably shouldn’t have brought up Jo, but with Ellen and Christmas and the Roadhouse, she was already everywhere anyway.

They let you out at your parents’ and headed back across town. The streets were almost empty with the sacredness of the holiday. The cemetery was decorated in pine wreaths and cheap red ribbons. The narrow paths were silent beneath their feet. Dean had thought he knew what he wanted to say when he decided to take this little side quest to see Jo.

What he said once Sam was safely back inside the Charger was something else entirely.

“So, I’ve been better. Not like I’m bad now, but I’ve been doing actually better. I was a mess for a long time. And not just from you, but a lot of shit. And last year, I guess earlier this year really, I kind of imploded. I started hurting people, like actually hurting them and justified it to myself somehow. Then I pushed Cas away from helping me, after breaking his nose. And well, the bands a lot different now. But we’re still doing it.

Look, Jo, I know you wanted me to live my dreams and see the world. Things I always wish you could have done. But sometimes dreams are regular everyday things, like bringing home pie or having somebody to say goodnight to. And I haven’t let myself have dreams in a long, long time. But I think maybe I’m starting to again.

And I just need you to know that I’m gonna be okay. And I am gonna do what I can to keep your people safe, because they’re my people now too, you know? You gave me another mom and a best friend without even meaning to. And we all miss you like crazy. But, we’re okay. Merry Christmas, beautiful. I hope the angels pull out all the stops up there.”

Dean exhaled, his nose thick and eyes stinging in the cold air. He wiped his face and looked at Jo’s name one more time before turning back towards the road. Sam waited until Dean was buckled in before asking, “you good?”

“Yeah, man. Let’s get back before I cause more of a sensation,” Dean said, not meeting Sam’s eyes.

“Okay,” was all Sam said.

Tagging:

@deans-spinster-witch

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

Chapter 15: Rubato

#spotless series #dean angst #dean/reader #dean/jo #dean/bela #slow burn #character death #grief #guilt #dean winchester fanfiction #rockstar au #fake dating

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writerofadream · 4 months

Text

Fortune favors the Bold ⛓

TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓

Chapter Twenty Four: This is my boyfriend's, boyfriend, Geoff-

Chris was monologuing again. You watched as the man landed the helicopter, currently Duncan was giving you a piggyback while jumping on one foot while Heather and Gwen bet if he would drop you or not. (the answer was not)

The current bid was one-hundred-and-fifty bucks.

Chris gave you all the signals from above to line up. You let yourself fall off Duncan’s waist and skipped over to the line, dragging Duncan to join you. He laughed as unbeknownst to you stared at you with heart eyes.

As Chris landed he held up a pair of cuffs, and Duncan laughed. “Macy sent you a care package.” He smirked pointing at the cuffs.

“How do you know it wasn’t Marcel?” You crossed your arms. “Because Marcel loves me.” Duncan pointed out. “... Didn’t he sit on you until you admitted that you had taken drugs?” You covered your smile with your hand.

“It’s how he shows his love.”

–

Chris had you and Duncan cuffed up together. Duncan held up his hand which brought up yours as well. You both were staring at it and you resisted the urge to chuckle. “You know what this reminds me of…?” Duncan muttered.

“Christmas 2017!” You both laughed in unison.

Flashback

Duncan was thrown against a wall, and you were thrashing against the guards holding on to you. But, the guard happened to be Marcel who discretely made sure that you guys would be cuffed together. Duncan at his hands, as well as your hands, annoyed.

You gave the guards a glare that would make the world's manliest man shrink in his spot. That’s how you and Duncan worked, he thought of the future, how you both would get out of this mess, you focused on the present trying to put the fear of god in anyone who tried to mess with either of you.

End of flashback

“This isn’t fair, they’re a couple who can work well together.” Heather whined.

Chris bopped her on the nose. “When you get a guy that the viewers love then we’ll talk. Stay sadly single, kid.” Chris smiled and the girl fumed causing you to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing.

–

The first challenge was to feed your partner. You had to laugh at that. Duncan was beaten so often that growing up you had to feed him so he’d you know, survive. But the only problem was that the food looked strange. Duncan had an idea pop into his head and a smile on his face.

“Arm wrestle me for it.”

You smirked and took that challenge, you both clasped arms and laid your elbows on the table. You began the arm wrestle, smiling at your boyfriend. “Do you think we’ll have kids?” He asked randomly. “Hmm, maybe. I’d like a boy.” You gritted your teeth trying so hard not to fail.

“I think I’d like a girl, name her Lily after your mom, and then maybe have a boy and name him after James.” Your heart melted and an audible aw came out of your mouth.

“I think we’d live in New York. You’d open up a half-way-house for ex-cons, I’d open up a bar.” Duncan continued. The overly feminine side in you was eating this up and you were so distracted that Duncan slammed your arm against the table.

Fast-forward

“Where are my children?” You had a big smile as you entered your home. “Mami!” You watched as your younger son ran down the hallways of your apartment and jumped into your arms. “James.” you yelled back equally excited.

“Mama.” Your older daughter ran down the hallway, shortly after her brother and jumped into your arms as well. You twirled you children in the air, who were giggling, so happy that their mama was home.

“Now where’s your father.” You said with a mock-serious tone.

Suddenly your husband walked into the room, his hair freshly wet and patted against his head. “Hola mi vida.” He smiled and hugged the three of you close to his chest, and gave you a peck on the lips. Much to your children's horror.

“Mommmm.”

“Dad…”

“No fair you used our relationship against me.” You complained nearly pouting.

“I told you the truth because I want you to eat. I see the way you throw away your meal sweetheart. I want you to eat.” Duncan sighed and a sad smile crossed his face.

“Fine. But did it have to be camp food.” You complained as you looked back at the dish.

“Might as well start off with the worst of the worst.” Duncan shrugged, and you sighed. “You better be happy you're cute.” You lightly picked his cheek causing him to smile like a cheeky child.

You opened your mouth and in seconds your boyfriend was shoving food in it. T

hen the challenge ended really quickly because why do we not give an anorexic person too much food at once? Because they’ll throw up.

You emptied your guts into the trash can as Duncan held your hair back. He rolled his eyes as you flipped him off, still actively throwing up. “Love you too sweetheart.” He smiled sadly, rubbing an arm up and down your back trying to convey comfort.

—

You sickly glared at the camera. “Food can go suck my big fat **** for all I ******* care.” You grumbled holding your stomach, in the outhouse.

—

Unsurprisingly Owen and Heather won, because she has a partner that has a vacuum as a mouth. Duncan sighed, rubbing your back as you laid your head on the table, every nerve you had left screaming in pain.

“Dollface, I need you to start eating at least once a day. There wasn’t barely any food, and you still got sick. I need you to try, okay?” Duncan kissed the back of your head and ruffled your hair. You nodded curtly. You should try.

You would try for him,

—

Chris had you all gather on the docks. You had your head against Duncan’s shoulder and he had an arm wrapped around you, holding you close as if you would fall away from him.

“Last chance for a wimp key.” Chis waved the enticing key in front of you all, and you had half a mind to snatch it out of his hands and jam it in his jugular. You smiled at the thought, man whenever you get voted off is gonna be exciting.

“What’s the challenge, Chris?” Geoff asked, who was attached to Gwen, the goth-girl kept rolling her eyes at every other sentence the blonde spoke.

“There are three canoes on the beach, one for each team. Your challenge is to paddle the canoe while wearing handcuffs. All the way to Boney Island, once there you will get a package. Now go, go, go!” Chris was distracted by the herd of campers so you held your breath to stop yourself from laughing, when you saw Duncan shove the man to the ground.

Duncan sat in front, because sitting in the back made him seasick, and sitting in the front made you seasick.

You quickly got into the water, and began to paddle.

You had arrived at Boney Island, third, Chris’s helicopter dipped so he could yell out the next instructions. Yadda, yadda, yadda, put the packages back in the cave, while piggy-back riding the other. Before you could protest that you were too heavy, Duncan snatched your hand and put both of them around his shoulders and hoisted you up.

A blush spread itself across your face.

You got to the cave rather quickly but were met with carnivorous beavers. “Ain’t nobody that tough.” Duncan grumbled and you both cartwheeled back to shore. (Well you cartwheeled, Duncan walked on his hands)

–

The next challenge was to make a totem pole of shame using the heads of your ex-fellow-campers. That would be easy, hopefully. Your memory was amazing, but Duncan’s was the best, he remembered everything that happened from ages five through seventeen.

Everyone else was struggling, Owen was getting mad because Heather wanted to talk crap about Izzy, and Gwen and Geoff had terrible memories and couldn’t decide who was who, Katie or Sadie. You remembered that Katie was the one who was more quiet, Sadie was the one that helped you when you were sick.

You saw a carving of Izzy and Duncan tossed you his knife, sensing what you were thinking.

You carved the word ‘Kid’ and put a small heart next to it. Chris came over and saw what you had done. He had the audacity to laugh, and say “Aw, little Miss. Tough ain’t so tough.” which promptly caused Duncan to throw Courtney’s head at him.

“I love you so much.”

“I know.”

Duncan and you had won. Chris held up both of your hands and slurred his words. “The winnerz arep Dunkykim anndl Y/Nes.” you had to stifle your laughter and the second you guys got back on the canoe you almost cried laughing.

—

That night at the campfire, you and Duncan got your marshmallows first, then Leshawna, Heather, and then Owen. It was left between Geoff and Gwen. You watched your boyfriend’s eyes fall on Geoff, and the sad realization hit.

You squeezed his hand. “Geoff will be going home tonight.” Chris declared and you watched Gwen stand up in indignation and yell at you all. “He’s the nicest guy!” she screamed.

“Ciao dudes, y'all were cool, Duncan and Y/N invite me and Bridge to the wedding.” Geoff gave you the peace sign and you smiled sadly as Duncan nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying.

---

tagged: @lostsomewhereinthegarden

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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 5 months

Note

Do you have a Shiro playlist or songs you associate with him?

DO I, oh brother, DO I EVER

the impact my shiro playlist had on my Spotify wrapped…. Unprecedented…. I have only made 3 character playlists in my life and this is by far my favorite

Link to my YouTube version bc I cannot share Spotify links but

Little blurb about each song below the cut

It is short but pointed and since I’ve been holding back on infodumping about this since February. This draws heavily from songs on shiro playlists back in like 2017 and then also my own taste

1.Halsey- control THEE Shiro song to me. The amv in my mind when I listen to this ugh just like ALL of these lyrics give a very angsty s1/2 trying very hard to be stable but undeniable struggling vibe like. Listen I just rewatched Crystal Venom and the way you could fit the hallucination scene into this 🫨

2. Little Lion man. I mean what blorbo playlist isn’t complete without this. Lions and all that but also “Tremble for yourself, my man/You know that you have seen this all before /Tremble, little lion man / You'll never settle any of your scores”

for thee amnesia gladiator flashback man????

3. The Draw - Bastille - another angsty classic mental unwellness vibe. What gets me is both “ in your left hand there is the familiar / in your right hand there’s the great unknown” both in like space explorer man and also literally alien hand but also “When you go home everything looks different/ And you're scared of being left behind / Just listen to your friends / Trust that they're fair, look in their eyes / Just listen to your friends / They only care and hope you're alright”.

4. The Kongos - Come With Me Now - big warrior and gladiator energy to this one big Shiro’s capacity for violence and anxiety “ Afraid to lose control / And caught up in this world / I've wasted time, I've wasted breath / I think I've thought myself to death / I was born without this fear / Now only this seems clear / I need to move, I need to fight / I need to lose myself tonight”

5. April 1945 - this one is a movie soundtrack one and admittedly the weak link of this playlist but I got it from someone’s 8tracks ages ago and got attached to it as a Shiro song. Very ptsd horrors of war vibes

6. Broken Crown - Mumford and sons. Thee Shiro as champion, shiro and Haggar song to me

7. Violet Clementine - Lady Lamb - I keep trying to get people to appreciate this song as a blorbo song. To me the allegory with strings of fate and like the found family amvs I imagine to this in my mind… your family as the nest of yarn.. also obsessed with songs that refer to humans as animals… very shiro as gladiator vibes.

“ You build a nest of yellow yarn / You hope to god the yellowed yarn / Is soft enough to break your fall / Should you fall, should you fall”

“ Keep your silence golden and words important / You're only a handsome animal”

8. Berserker - Leslie Fish - another shiro and violence song bc I love when he fights like he has everything to lose and does not care about pain. Just have all the lyrics

9. I gave you all - Mumford and sons . Sorry for being a Mumford and sons girlie. This one to me is more at the universe at the galra at the black lion at the garrison even at adam. I don’t have a specific lyric just the vibe for like internal angst and bitter sweetness

10. Iron - Woodkid. Another one where literally all the lyrics vibe with Shiro as like missing from home gladiator soldier leader

#you don’t know how GLEEFUL I was getting to talk about this playlist #Voltron #shiro #music rec #I don’t care if other people think this playlist is good it give me brain worms and that’s what matters #I listened to control on loop and thought about shiro when I walked to class every day of last February and March

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socially-awkward-skeleton · 5 months

Text

All Along the Watchtower (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Captain John Price x Fem!OC (3rd person POV)

Word count: 3.1 K

Warnings: Minors DNI - descriptions of torture, misogyny, threats of violence, morally gray characters, swearing, smoking, mentions of human trafficking

Summary: Flashback #2 - after finding the women and children in the terrorist outpost, Rory's skills with interrogation and torture are put to use on their captor

A/N: Rory Sinclair is a dual citizen (both Canada and the UK) who's been living in the UK since she was 14. She is 28 at the time of this fic, Price is 32. This series is set in 2017 before the events of the first MW game. Rory's thoughts are bold and italicized, other italics are used for emphasis

[Read on AO3]

2016 - Syrian Outpost

The soldiers remained in silence as they sat outside the room where Walker interrogated the target. Muffled sounds of groans coming from the other side of the door drifted in to invade the hush that had fallen over the siege forces. Sat on a table, on the other side of the room across from the door, Rory had already stripped the tac vest from her shoulders in order to catch her breath. The sight of all those faces in the dock facility below had caused her stomach to twist and ache. Her head hanging low, chin pressed to her chest, she rubbed at the back of her neck trying to relieve the tension that built there.

Andrew looked over at her, watching her hands start to tremble and he slipped the pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Pulling one out for her, he lit it and nudged her with his elbow to get her attention. “Hey, take this.”

Her gaze fell to the trail of smoke that began to lift from the tip and she happily accepted, bringing the cigarette to her lips and taking a long, deep drag of it. Enough to make her head spin and her lungs feel like they were filled with ash.

“Thanks.”

“A pleasure.”

Moments later, Officer Walker entered the room where the soldiers waited, the door creaking behind him as he let out a heavy sigh. Worn out, he wiped the sweat from his brow with the collar of his shirt, exposing armpits now darkened by sweaty halos from his hard work. Wiping his hands of the blood that had collected on them on the front of his shirt, he added to the red already splattered there. “Fucker ain't breaking,” he groaned, looking over at two of the soldiers in the corner of the room. Beefy and brawnier than the rest, Walker gave them a wry grin. “Hey Turbo, Lazer, either of you have experience in breaking someone?”

The two soldiers shook their heads in unison, still lost for words after having witnessed what they’d seen in storage.

Andrew nudged Rory's side again, whispering to her. “Go on then.” He tipped his head towards Walker. “You do.”

“Andy, no,” she said with a glare.

But her Lieutenant would never leave it at that. He’d seen her do it more times than she would ever care to admit. He encouraged it, carrying her preferred tools with him just in case. He was the one who had given her the name ‘Lamb’ and it had stuck because he knew what really lay below the surface.

“Sinclair does,” Lieutenant Owen spoke up.

Walker’s grin dropped, his brow furrowing as he looked over at Rory. “Little miss humanitarian over there, really?”

She huffed out a laugh, blowing cigarette smoke up towards the ceiling. “Oh, don't worry, sir. I only save the bleeding heart act for the innocent.”

Walker looked her up and down, not really believing it. Cracking a smile, he shook his head. “Hey, I'm all for equality, sweetheart. If you really think you can do a better job than me –”

“She can, sir,” Andrew was quick to add.

“Andy,” Rory hissed.

“You're bloody good at it, don't deny it.” His icy stare froze her, looking at her as if he saw through her. One of the only ones to see behind the mask.

Pushing a hand through her hair before hopping off the table, her boots landed with a heavy thump on the concrete below, the weight of the world and the responsibility just handed to her dragging her down.

Her Lieutenant was quick to pull out a set of brass knuckles and a plastic bag from his vest pocket, looking up at her with a small smile as if offering a gift. “For you, Sergeant.”

Rory nodded, taking them from him and stuffing them into her back pocket before taking another drag from her cigarette and moving closer to the door by Walker.

“Go on, sweetheart,” Walker leaned down towards her, chuckling, the sarcasm practically dripping off his words, “Show that bastard exactly what girl power looks like, huh?”

She scowled, swallowing heavily as her hand twitched. Her throat always got dry moments before she’d have to face down her opponent – and that’s what they were – interrogations weren’t a battle, they were a game of chess. Digging into their heads, convincing them to play the way she wanted them to, finding their weak spot and then attacking it directly. Finding the pressure point and pushing down on it until they couldn’t take it anymore. That’s where most people failed to be successful. With unassuming Rory Sinclair, on the other hand – soft on the outside, hardly a threat – when left alone in a room with her, it was the last place any enemy would want to be.

Before she could walk any further, Walker grabbed her arm and his amber eyes tried to read her sneer. “You really think you can handle this?”

Her mouth twisted into a sickly grin as she bit down on her tongue to stop her from spitting venom, jaw clenched tight as she tilted her head away to blow out smoke. “Yes, sir.”

“I wanna know where the weapons are and who he's working with. I don't want any sappy bullshit about the cargo, you hear me?”

The stink of his sweat clung to him, mixing with the cheap aftershave he wore, and it made her stomach twist more as he crept further into her personal space.

“Understood.”

Giving her arm a quick squeeze, he couldn’t help but keep up with the patronizing tone and smile. “I'm counting on ya, honey.”

Rory flinched, rage burning down the length of her spine like a wildfire. All that anger that swelled within her at the sight of those women and children boiled just under the skin and behind her eyes. Taking another breath, dragging her teeth over her lip and tasting bitter hatred on her tongue, she headed into the room.

The metal door shut tight behind her with a heavy clank and she stopped and stared at Al Ghulam bound to a chair before her. Blood dripped down his face, his eye swollen and puffy on one side, encapsulating his socket in purple flesh. His fancy clothes had been stained with blood along with his teeth as he smiled at her, a long trail of red saliva dripping from his lip.

“Is this the American way? They send in the woman to do the job of men?”

Ignoring Abdullah was all too easy as she kept walking forward, exhaling smoke from her nostrils before her fingers curled around the cigarette dangling from her lips to take another drag.

“Hal taelam madha 'afeal bialnisa' mithlaka?” <In Arabic: Do you know what I do to women like you? >

Rory stretched her neck from side to side, feeling the tension pop and release. Unfazed by his threats, used to the inane ramblings of bound men. Every single one of them seemed to resort back to threatening her womanhood. Using feeble attempts at scaring her by trying to make her feel small or inadequate. It was the sign of a weak will.

She cracked a half grin from around her cigarette “Lal taelam madha faealt bialrijal mithlaka?” <in Arabic: Do you know what I've done to men like you?>

Al Ghulam chuckled at her response, spitting blood out on the floor between his feet. “You speak Arabic?”

Her eyes narrowed and she drew closer, one sure and steady step at a time, watching his eyes widen and the sweat start to form on his brow. A foggy cloud of smoke curtaining her features before leaning forward with a darkened stare. “Do you know?” Her voice was low and ominous, her question anything but a casual threat – it was a warning.

He shook his head, staring up at her, mouth kept tightly shut. He still had fight in him, but she had patience.

“Now’s as good a time as any to find out, eh?” She stood in front of him, hands on her hips. “Where are the weapons, and who are you working with?”

“I already told your CIA, I don't know.”

He was lying and she knew it. “Where are the weapons and who are you working with,” she repeated in the same calm, cool tone of voice.

“Are you deaf?”

Grabbing him by the face with one hand, digging her nails into his cheeks as she grabbed his jaw, Rory pulled the cigarette from her mouth with the other and pressed the burning end of it to his cheek. Twisting it against his skin as it sizzled like sausages in a frying pan, holding it there even as his screams echoed through the room. Spittle flying out from between gritted teeth as he seethed, staring at her with the same burning hatred she felt for him.

“Where are the weapons?” She looked down at him, continuing to hold the cigarette there even as he struggled against it.

“Fuck you,” he spat, squirming under her.

She cocked her brow, impressed somewhat by the fact he wasn’t willing to give in quite so easy. He wasn’t quite as passive as she had thought. Slipping the cigarette back between her lips she stood up straight and pulled the plastic bag from her back pocket, circling Al Ghulam the way a predator would around its singled out prey.

As she stood behind his back, his body went rigid. The natural fear response that took over when someone was being followed from behind, the one that made a person start walking a little faster while alone at night, the one pricks like him enjoyed making women feel. Rustling the plastic bag in her hands as she held it out taut, she noticed every little fidget he made, the little shiver that shook down his back. “Are you scared?”

“Never.”

Another lie.

Rory quickly moved forward, bringing the bag down over his head and gripping back on it tight enough to hear the screeching sound of stretched plastic as it constricted against his mouth and nose, the squeak dampening his scream.

His fingers squeezed at the armrests as he gasped for air, his mouth working against the plastic as he fought to breathe, his feet kicking out slightly. She held on just a little longer, just enough to bring him right up to the edge where he feared she might kill him, and then pulled the bag away, waiting for him to catch his breath before asking her questions once again.

“Where are the weapons?”

“You fucking whore. I'll kill you. Think you scare me? I can hunt you down and set twenty men on you.”

She pulled the cigarette from her mouth and leaned down towards him, her head resting near his, exhaling smoke into his face. “You should know, it’s quite easy to tell that while you may call the Middle East home now, you weren’t raised here. The way you dress, the way you speak…it’s clear you were raised in the West, went to good schools…” Glancing down at his hand, she smirked as she noticed the gold band on his finger. “And that’s no class ring. What poor woman got stuck with you for a husband?”

Al Ghulam went to speak, and she stopped him by shoving her thumb into the pressure point of his shoulder. “Before you even think about threatening me, I know you spend an awful lot of time traveling between here and Dubai. That’s where she lives, right? Keeping her hidden away from the unspeakable things you do.” She tilted her head as she pondered on the reason. “Perhaps you’re embarrassed. Doesn’t much matter to me.” She squeezed a little tighter and his body convulsed involuntarily. “I can find her, bring along my trusty rifle, and add another notch to the barrel.” His breath hitched in his throat and she released her thumb. “Take a moment to think on that, eh?”

Rory patted his shoulder and then wrapped the bag around his head once more, twisting the plastic in her hands so it gripped his face tighter. Staring out into the middle distance of the room, she held the plastic bag over his head long enough that his nails began to bend and crack against the metal armrests he was tied to as he struggled, a horrible wheezing noise escaping him like a balloon slowly deflating until she finally released the bag from his face, placing her hand on his shoulder and squeezing the pressure point there tightly once again. “I can do this all day. I’m not so sure you can. So, before I have to become a little more convincing…Where are the weapons and who are you working with?”

His breathing was becoming more strained, each breath heavier and harder to take. Near his breaking point, it wouldn’t take very long now, she just needed to tip him a little bit further. She hadn’t even broken a sweat yet in her quest to prove how far she was willing to go, and it was becoming clear to her that with Al Ghulam she wouldn’t even have to go as far as she had in the past. She could smell it on him.

“I’m going to kill you myself. I’ll slit your throat and watch you bleed,” his words spilled from his trembling lips.

Threats of violence were a common thing, it always shifted from demeaning her to the threats of taking her life. More a benefit to their own ego, an attempt to make themselves feel strong, holding on to some semblance of the image they thought they were supposed to have while she broke them.

“Very well.” Moving to stand in front of him once more, watching him huff back on his rasping breaths, Rory tossed her nearly spent cigarette on the floor, stomping it out with her boot before grabbing the brass knuckles from her back pocket and slipping them onto her fingers. Clenching her hand into a fist, she appreciated the weight as her thumb ran over the solid metal accessory, feeling each dent and groove she had made in it on the bones of her adversaries. Staring at Al Ghulam with dead eyes, her breathing was perfectly relaxed, her heart rate holding steady. “Once I’m done here with you, I’ll be making my way to Dubai, there might be just enough left of you for your wife to mourn.”

“No, please.” His eyes bugged from his head as he slumped forward in his seat, a defeated man. “ Fuck . I’ll tell you.”

“I’m listening.”

The door creaked open once more and Rory stepped out of the room without a speck of blood on her or a drop of sweat, she was perfectly relaxed as she slipped the brass knuckles from her hand and placed them back into her pocket. Her slow, heavy footsteps on the concrete was enough to cause the eyes of every soldier to lift and stare. They had all heard

the muffled yelling and the long stretches of silence from inside the room, and their reactions to her entrance were all the same – confusion. At a loss for just what the hell she had done in that room.

All except Andrew. Giving her a smirk, the cigarette between his lips lifted up into the curled corner of his mouth as he looked over at her. He knew exactly how it would play out. It was always the same.

The little ‘ Lamb ’ had teeth.

Rory walked right past Walker as if he didn’t even exist, and he grabbed her arm, his eyes flaring at her. “What happened in there?” Looking her up and down, he waited expectantly for an answer. Expecting some story about how she tried but just couldn’t break him. How batting her eyelashes at a terrorist and a human trafficker just wouldn’t work for whatever reason. How a big, strong man would have to go in there and finish what he had started, and she had failed to deliver on.

Her hazel eyes bore into him, her mouth drawn in a tight, straight line as she reported Al Ghulam’s confession. “There was a swap made, a trade deal. Lives bartered for the weapons.”

“With who?” He got into her face, but she never flinched. “Who’s he working with?”

“Not the insurgents.” She shook her head. “A PMC. Independant . European . Weapons are on their way into enemy hands as we speak,” she said with a defeated sigh, knowing all too well the lives of civilians and soldiers alike would be taken soon. Yet more casualties of war. Numbers turned into statistics to be reported on the nightly news in a minute long segment, if they even really mattered to most anymore.

“Motherfucker,” Walker spat, pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath.

“The lives we found downstairs, they’re only half of what there was.” She broke his train of thought and he looked at her with disinterest. “They’re the rest of the payment for another shipment that’s coming.”

Turning on his heel, he met her with his furrowed brow. “When?”

“Two days' time. Your intel was either too late or too early.”

“Good.” Walker scratched at his stubble as he continued to pace. “Good, we can work with that.” He tipped his head and gave her a slimy grin. “I don’t know what you did in there, sweetheart, but I might just have to make you a returning member of my roster.”

Biting down on her molars, Rory grimaced at the thought of having to work another mission with the CIA officer and his less than respectful attitude towards her. “My pleasure,” she said as her pained expression shifted into a scowl and she moved to sit with her Lieutenant once more.

Andrew’s smirk had become a wry grin at this point, enjoying the faces of every other soldier in there including Walker’s. The look of people taken completely off guard by the fact someone like Rory could break a man faster than some brazen, fast-talking American with little scruples.

“You look like you need a fag, Sinclair.”

“Do I ever,” she huffed.

“You didn’t even need the knuckles this time, did you?” Andrew lowered his voice, leaning in towards her as he passed her the cigarette that had been burning between his lips.

She snatched it from him and brought the cigarette to her mouth, taking a long drag. Shaking her head, Rory passed the brass knuckles back to him, dragging her hands up and down her thighs as she took a seat on the table beside him once again.

He chuckled dryly and slipped them back into the pocket of his vest. “That’s our Lamb.” His grin grew wider, until teeth began to show. “I knew you had it in you.”

#cod fanfic #john price x oc #oc: rory sinclair

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zeldamomoe · 10 months

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Let's do a little bit of a Flashback Friday, shall we? Some of you might remember me as "that Lana cosplayer" from Hyrule Warriors! Back in 2014 before the game even came out in Japan, I swiftly created this costume as my "comeback to cosplay" after a few years hiatus to focus on paying my way through college. It really opened my eyes to how mainstream cosplay was becoming at that time, because of my first photoshoot with PialVisions getting viral thanks to ZeldaInformer sharing it everywhere. Unfortunately, the racists came out of the woodwork like it was their job and ridiculed my skin tone. The ones that stood out to me the most were:

the person who tagged their friend and said "your Arab cousin ruined Lana for me"

and the person who asked if I was Hispanic (in Spanish, mind you), and I said no I'm Lebanese from America, and he said "well your skin should me milk white" again, in Spanish lmao fuck you 😂

I was really sad about all of it that I almost decided not to continue cosplaying. Seeing all that hate after such a long hiatus was difficult (and I wasn't even very good at cosplay or photo editing yet, I just was the first Lana, so it made WAVES 🙈). But I made so many new friends thanks to me getting viral like CinnamonNeutrality (Cee), ChibiTifa, LayzeMichelle, just to name a few. I'm sure I would've ran into Cee eventually since we went to the same GTA cons, but you never know! Nowadays, I stay humble and thankful for the opportunities Lana gave me. I took her to Fan Expo 2014, and shot with Herbiecide there. We took some gorgeous photos on the roof, and I'll remember fondly that we ran into a trio of Perfume cosplayers. Because I hadn't been to Fan Expo since 2009 at that point, and it was my first big con since then, I was so excited seeing Perfume cosplayers XD I was a big fan of them in high school and college. I posted some of his photos of my Lana cosplay on Tumblr actually and got viral again! I do remember that was a good viral though, not much harassment came from that, and if it did, I forgot all about it. My username used to be SMZeldaRules, so it was on that Tumblr, which has long been deactivated. In 2015, I made her staff and brought her to Pax East. And in 2017, I had one final photoshoot with Z is Eternal. I then ended up giving it to my friend Ayla at Antipode Geek Bellydance. It's 2023 now, and big companies and websites STILL don't moderate their comment sections well at all (looking at you Square Enix when you shared my Rachel Amber cosplay in 2020 and people were acting a fool lmao). We gotta stand up for all marginalized groups in cosplay! Keep making your stuff and have fun! FUCK RACISM 😤😤😤

photos: Pial Visions, Herbiecide, Z is Eternal & edits by me

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jezmmart · 2 months

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Chamomile Comic Trivia #31

#159 - Notice

It's Sam! I wish I had written down more about my decision to add her, although at this point I'm fairly sure I wasn't certain she was going to become a main character - in fact it was RIGHT around the week this posted that I began work on the first proper cover art for the series which of course did not include her.

Her design was based off this old one-off pin-up girl art from 2017, technically making her the first ever major Chamomile Comic character to exist, sort of.

She was named after Sam Lloyd, likely known for his portrayal of Ted the Lawyer from Scrubs. The news of his death had recently broken and I had just recently begun listening to Fake Doctors, Real Friends, the Scrubs rewatch podcast, as my go-to background entertainment when colouring the comic specifically each week. It still is now, albeit intermittently since they don't always produce an episode each week and I no longer have a backlog to catch up on. Now granted, I don't love the podcast as much as I used to - can be a bit cringey at times as these two hollywood actors chat about utterly unrelatable anecdotes from their lives - but it's overall been enjoyable and it'll be weird to find something new to accompany my colouring if it does come to an end or stops being enjoyable once they permanently pivot into... whatever they plan to do after they run out of Scrubs episodes. It's been part of my colouring process for the comic for longer than it hasn't been now, haha. So... yeah it felt right to honour that connection to my comic with Sam's name, on top of the fact that Scrubs is just straight-up one of my favourite TV shows and Ted was always a character that gave me big laughs.

Of course... I realised after that I'd introduced yet another character to the comic ending in "-a"! ...But whatever, it's a common thing. Not so long ago I had 5 co-workers simultaneously whose names also ended in -a, lol.

The decision to have had her always be around simply came from not having any strong ideas to introduce her and preferring the idea that at least some of the cast already knew her. The gag's been done before, but I thought it'd be extra funny to introduce her with a scene in which she is specifically announcing her departure from being a regular face in Cammie's life, which typically would mean the same for the audience in most works with actually established characters.

Final little bonus note - in panel 1, Cammie once again is entering with a handful of steaming coffee.

#160 - Official

I didn't really mean for it to be so small it's barely legible at web size, but the little sign on the panic alarm button behind the till says "Real emergencies only Cammie!", in reference to #50.

#161 - Before

All that Scrubs talk regarding Sam is kinda fitting, because they did the "this character was always here!" gag there too. For their one, they edited her in on various memorable shots and pretended the main character didn't notice her being present, here I obviously extended the frame on the end of several punchline panels from previous comics.

Here's a gif that shows the original panels compared to the new ones, showing both the new and old art isolated as well so you can see exactly what I drew to extend the older panels which naturally weren't drawn originally knowing that I would one day be extending them!

The second of the three Sam flashbacks is just a nice little bridging one, but it did take me a while to decide for sure which way around I wanted the first and third flashback panel. For the first: while there's been a little bit of mild bad language in the comic once the seal was broken here, Sam's "bitch" is the first time such language has appeared so it amused me to place it in a scene that has already happened long ago just barely outside of the audience's perspective. For the third: the joke is of course that the reveal of Sam's additional dialogue is particularly adding nothing to the scene whatsoever - like, as if Cammie making a fool of herself would even be remark-worthy at this point. I felt both these two goofs had a good punch to them in their own way so yeah, I remember being conflicted over whether I had chosen the funniest possible flow of these three gags.

Of course, the final joke of this one, in case it wasn't obvious (I could see it being subtle for some), is that Mimi's whole running gag is she's a side character who also has existed in the comic for long before her first on-screen appearance, yet Cammie never remembers her.

#162 - New

The art and dialogue structure of the first two panels here is identical to #160. I think it being a time-saver on my workload for the week was definitely a factor - for whatever reason I needed it at the time - but I also remember going for something with that choice beyond just that... But I can't for the life of me remember what. I don't think the parallel between the two comics adds anything reading them back now.

Anyway here's Newt! I really thought at the time that he was going to be as significant an addition as Sam, and I did come up with the idea of introducing a regular male character at the time I chose to bring Sam in, with Sam's introduction - and exit - being an amusing way to introduce a surprise new character.

...Then I proceeded to never really get any super strong story ideas for him lol. More detail on that in a second. I haven't forgotten him though, frustrates me that he keeps getting sidelined!

#163 - Training

Standard behind-the-scenes retail frustration humour here. I can neither confirm nor deny how much is based on my current employment. A little detail of authenticity/flavour is that they're watching a DVD intended for widescreen on an old non-widescreen TV that's clearly been in their staff room for at least a decade. Such was the case for my painful training videos too! (It's all online now as of a few years into when I started, so some progress has been made I guess).

#164 - Huh

It's not made clear yet, but the new status quo that Sam is a receptionist at a primary school is established here - the coloured hanging letter signage on the wall that is too perspective'd to read says "WELCOME TO OUR SCHOOL".

I chose this as a job for her based simply on the fact that my Mum has often worked in school offices for most of my life. She wasn't a receptionist but it was the sort of job where I have some... vague enough memories of the "behind-the-scenes" enough to draw something along those lines when I needed to show Sam at work.

Getting back to Newt, obviously the goof here is that Cammie is just being a sore loser about her friend leaving and Newt is about the most cool-sounding interesting person you could imagine meeting. Unfortunately that involved specifically coming up with fun sounding stuff that are not super common to do or know people that do, so despite the super interesting combo of cave-diving, stand-up and polyamory these are all things I feel like I'd have to do thorough research on to represent in the actual comic accurately... which is something I'd like to do but, time is finite and I have so much pre-existing experience with being a silly nonsense person. Would you believe it, there's another character in the comic for whom that experience lends itself very well!!

Speaking of whom, the first appearance of the bell on the door in Repeat 1 Records was only a month after Cammie got the job. She works fast!

[Trivia Archive | Browse from most recent]

#jezmm #chamomile comic trivia #art insight

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f0point5 · 8 months

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I just wanna know which Lando’s story inspired that mean comment (that I completely agree with)?

Lando does look like a little rich boy who spends summer between Mykonos and Ibiza.

I think he deleted it, but it was a a picture of him and several other people showing off Richard Mille watches. Just gave me flashbacks to like 2017 when all the rich boys would be taking pictures and videos of pouring champagne over their expensive watches.

Lando definitely has that vibe lol. Winters is Gstaad, summer in Mykonos and St Tropez. He gives Bagatelle and Club 55.

I don’t make the rules.

#lando norris

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gracesshelves · 2 months

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IT (Chapter One and Two) (2017, 2019)

I saw IT: Chapter One (2017), when it first came out, however, I hadn’t seen the second part. For the first movie, I would give it a score of four out of five, and I would rate the second movie three out of five. Overall, the series was enjoyable, but as my ratings show, I prefer the first installment over the second. Part of me wonders if it was because we were experiencing the world of Derry through the perspective of children instead of adults. While watching IT: Chapter Two (2019), the emotions I primarily felt were disgust and unease. I found myself looking away from the screen during certain graphic scenes, but it never made me feel scared in the way the first movie did. Those moments when the kids walked into dark basements or shadowy rooms had me tensed up, even though I knew what was going to happen. Like I said earlier this semester, The Shining was my first Stephen King book, and I do not think that IT will be the second. I’ve heard some things about the novel that make me uncomfortable, so I think I’ll stick to the movies.

IT: Chapter One (2017) follows a group of middle school students during the Summer of 1989. They live in Derry, Maine, a town where children and adults go missing in twenty-seven-year cycles. Led by Bill Denbrough, whose brother Georgie was eaten by IT in the form of Pennywise the Clown, the group of outcasts work together to defeat the evil threatening their home. In the end, they manage to seriously injure IT, but IT is not dead. IT: Chapter Two (2019) picks up twenty-seven years later. The kids are now adults, and all have moved out of Derry except for Mike. When people start disappearing again, Mike calls the team to return to their hometown. His friends answer the call, however, most of them have forgotten their time living in Derry. This movie focuses more on the group member’s traumas. To kill IT, which we learn is an entity from outer space, the gang must retrieve artifacts from their childhoods and burn them in IT’s nest. At the end of the movie, the group is down two members, but they manage to defeat IT by making IT feel small.

One thing that I enjoyed about IT: Chapter One (2017) in particular, was how involved IT was across the whole movie. Although IT was present in part two, it did not feel like a looming specter the same way it did in the first movie. I could predict when IT would show up fairly easily, whereas those appearances are less predictable and more prevalent in the first movie. Part of this was because I didn’t expect IT to show up as often as it did in Chapter One. The film barely gave us room to breathe, which ups the ante and feeds into the audience’s response. In part two, there was too much breathing room, so the film felt like it moved slower. My favorite parts of the second movie were the flashbacks into the past, which gave us more context about why each of the characters is the way they are now as adults. While these threads were hinted at during the first movie, it was nice to see them play out to give us a rounded perspective.

#my reviews

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the-gayest-show · 9 months

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Last Crash of The Sunchaser and The Bit After: Thoughts I Guess

So uh... just watched Ducktales 2017 again for the first time in a while... got to the episode The Last Crash of The Sunchaser... watched the whole thing... the end credits should have conveyed the pit that I felt in my heart

Good Omens 2 did me VERY good when the gay angel and demon, but this is the raw emotional heartachin' damage of watching a traumatized man pushing the people he loves and cares about away.

It's somehow worse knowing the outcome of the episode because it recontextualizes literally the entire episode prior to the ending.

The whole "I have to save her" and various other things he's done and said up to that point... fuck... and it's all about keeping the kids safe, right? You know, making up for the kid he couldn't save, and who (to his knowledge) is dead.

The kids (saying what they did) were kinda right, only given the information they had. But they didn't know how hard he worked to save her. You know? Flashbacks. The many ships he built. Attempts at communication. Literally drilling holes in the money bin and investing heavily in saving her, and for what? For her to be gone? To admit that he can't keep her safe? What does that mean for anyone else?

Related note, apparently they did the whole frame by frame bc budget but it WORKS. It feels very much like fragmented memories and a very interesting mode of flashback. Couldn't have imagined it another way.

Back to the conversation:

I think that's when it just struck that same chord in him. David Tennant, that man is a great actor, gave us the emotionally jarring "I am." Which sorta pulled the nail on the coffin there. He's going through essentially a relapse of what happened when Della took the Spear. As much as he'd hate to admit it, he's better with family. Much happier too no doubt.

I've already watched the episodes after it some time ago, but I remember this:

It opens with Scrooge literally being a sad shell of himself. Alone, in his giant mansion, coping with everything, eating pizza but like no effort, and remembering the little things he used to do with the nephews (marbles iirc?), and others. Like I said, he's literally more happier with family than without.

#ducktales #posts #excuse me im having a MOMENT here!#coping with David Tennant through David Tennant has never gone better #the 'i forgive you' and 'i am' parallels real #bUt wE dOnT hAvE tImE tO uNpAcK aLL tHaT #ducktales 2017

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imaginative-123 · 2 years

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CARS 3 ALTERNATE ENDING Monty and Cruz 2017/ The Fabulous Hudson Hornet at Willy's Butte 2006 by me

So here's my HOT TAKE, Cars 3 ending is underwhelming tbh, bec Cars 3 kinda exists to make an apology to a abomination sequel yet made an underwhelming ending instead, of making Cruz won the race and flip Jackson Storm as a connection to Doc flipping the rookie on his glory days. Despite the fact there's no scenes of Cruz having a closer connection to Doc only McQueen who has more flashback scenes and emotional scene when he was with Doc Hudson and when he's alive during that time. It makes the flipping scene underwhelming bec what was the point of having McQueen more scenes with Doc Hudson only to have his trainer won the race making the connection not having a lasting impact on me and I never cheered when Cruz won bec my expectation from the first and second half was so high and the payoff was so underwhelming. The reason More than New Paint alternate ending works bec in summary McQueen was not allowed to race bec Sterling sees more potential in Cruz, despite in my additional version McQueen could've been given an upgrade bec the actual movie conveniently never give him upgrades in the RUZTEZE Center despite they have techno stuff and based on my research Corvettes like him can get upgrade, and despite trying to race against his trainer Cruz he can't keep up with her despite she has the fastest speed than him, and Sterling was willing to give the 95 no to her as a connection to Louise who stole a number to enter a race bec she's being discriminated as a woman back in the 50s the only difference was Cruz was allowed to race with that no. due to her speed but the connection is there between her and Louise Nash. So McQueen was in the position of Doc who did everything to go back to racing only to be turned down the only difference was Tex Dinoco gave him a chance to race again one last time and this time he decided to wear Doc Hudson's colors and 51 no. as a way to honor him and was sponsored by DINOCO bec it's his dream at the first movie but he turned it down at the end bec he found a family in RUZTEZE including his newfound friends from Radiator Springs, but it's also a callback that Doc never got a chance to show them, this time McQueen had a chance to show Doc that he can get back to racing one last time.

This ending personally for me could've given McQueen a chance to win and that's where he needs to retire and give his Ruzteze place to Cruz bec it can allude to the ending of Toy Story 3 where Andy decided to give away his toys to Bonnie the new owner including his fav toy Woody bec he decided it's time to let go and play his toys one last time before heading off to college. As his last childhood moment. That could've been what Cars 3 that McQueen, he decided that retiring would make his decision that it's time for him to let go and be a trainer of Cruz just like how Doc retired and be a crew chief of McQueen, but nope he said at the end he didn't want to retire making the story overall pointless. It makes the credits scenes confusing if during his time of coaching Cruz did he even retire or not?

Although I only liked Cars 2 and 3 for the fanarts despite me having problems of the story overall. So here's my art in detail in humanized alternate version.

So in this version McQueen decides to retire after winning the first Piston Cup and giving it to Cruz who only won second place after Cruz gave him a chance to win against Jackson Storm who pushes him to the wall and I used the alternate ending where McQueen flipz over Jack just like how Doc flips over the rookie in his glory days. Cruz wants to decline due to her generosity but McQueen said she deserved it since she wants to follow her idol and here she was standing beside her idol who won the Piston Cup and was giving it to her. So Cruz happily happily receives the trophy as her reward.

As McCqueen won, to which he teaches Jackson Storm to not judge a book of it's cover and Jcakson was left humilated but realized that he;s right and he told McQueen that he's right but he'll work hard to win again someday and McQueen may have distaste against him but he respects him as Jackson lost himself at the crowd, the media and news reporter questioned him if he's willing to race again. He decided that it may be the time to retire since he finally decided it's time to let go and give his DINOCO place to his friend Cal Weathers who got fired earlier in the actual movie to give his older gens a chance to race again including Bobby Swift to which Cal's crewchief and uncle Strip Weathers agreed to his decision and tried to fix his relationship with his nephew in the end in my version that is they have an argument earlier as to why he's fired but Strip explained he has no choice to remove him for the next gen cars bec he has to follow the rules and Cal was angry and depressed bec it's his dream of continuing his uncle's legacy only to be thrown under the bus that he quit racing. But he visited McQueen's race at he end of the movie and him hearing McQueen's decision makes him relieved that there might be a second chance and Strip and Cal apologized to each other for what happened. After the speech, Tex Dinoco approached McQueen who was being approached by Sterling who seems shocked and tried to apologized for underestimating McQueen's win. McQueen decides to sarcasticly mock Sterling bec of him being thrown under the bus bec it reminded him of his mentor Doc Hudson who was in his same position and he did gave him a favor bec he couldn't continue racing but Monty just got so lucky bec Tex Dinoco was standing beside him.

Tex Dinoco finally announced that he talked with Rusty and Dusty about Sterling's shady practices behind the scenes for only caring about the brand and money not Monty himself, being incredibly rude and power tripping to his employees, and not hiring more female trainers and applicants only Cruz as a trainer bec if you keep an eye in the RUZTEZE Training center there are more male trainers and workers than women although to be fair there's a woman janitor but I still stand my point, bec he doesn't believe women can't be a racer and he only hired Cruz bec Cruz was begging for a job and he has no choice but to let her in bec in my ver she was being let down by everyone for wanting to be a female racer bec in actual racing world there is still discrimination against women, he's only skeptical of her strengths as a trainer at first but only used her for his own gain when he realize her car has more speed than Monty that he doesn't cared about his opposite gender just for the sake of using their strengths as a means to his own gain. And Tex always keeps an eye on him, despite the two founders retired and they found out about Sterling's true nature they decide they want to return to the company and will never trust Sterling again and they made him officially fired from Ruzteze. Sterling was furious at first but before he comes at Monty and blames him for everything the security decides to take him away for making a scene.

After that, McQueen decides to propose to Sally and Sally agrees that she agrees to be married to McQueen. And Cruz was also happy about this and was being approached by Maddy McGear and asked McQueen and her for an autograph and she agrees, and after taking photographs with Maddy who was taken a camera shot by her mom, Melissa Bernabrake. Cruz had a realization and asked if Maddy wants to be a racer like her and Maddy cheerfully agrees she wants to be like her and Cruz tells her to never give up on your dreams bec someday it will happen, and Cruz said she'll build a organization for women to have more women racers and promote more equality alongside male racers and rebrand it to Racing Center Cruz Ramirez, and Tex Dinoco and Monty agrees and Sally asks Cruz is she can teach her to be a race car driver and see if she can compete with McQueen someday bec she was interested with racing and was inspired by her boyfriend. To which Cruz was willing to do and Monty was worried at first but was willing to give his girlfriend a chance.

As for this happy ending for the artwork I made here are the art details. So Since McQueen retired from racing to make it allude to TS3's ending. McQueen's car will be like Doc Hudson except McQueen will have no Ruzteze decals just Fabulous Monty McQueen just like how Doc used his old decals for his retirement and mentor McQueen when he's alive.

Based from the art I made before of Doc Hudson wearing Paul Newman shades, Herb Thomas clothes during the 50's the driver he's based on, and Paul is also athletic I gave him lean muscles and an old build.

Herb Thomas

Since most humanized fanarts like to depict him in long coat sleeves, I based him on wearing polo shirt from Herb Thomas including white helmet and goggles.

For Monty I based him on what Doc's hairtsyle was and wore his shades and holding his helmet. And his collars is altered to have red linings to represent his fav color with white color. And he has a lean build bec of his training back at RUSTEZE Training center. So his white pants and brown leathers shoes remained the same. so his beard may be based from Pewdiepie to represent his late 40's look although Pewds is 34 but still I decided take his appearance but make McQueen look older, and the Piston Cup sticker of Doc is the first NASCAR sticker from his old days so McQueen is from 2017 Piston Cup sticker.

And credit to the artist for inspiration

Fabulous Lightning Mcqueen by moonepaws

However the link to that is not found anymore sadly although I did saved the image.

https://www.deviantart.com/moonepaws/art/Fabulous-Lightning-Mcqueen-815282356

As for Cruz's car is based on 2016 Scion Fr-S.

And maybe this 2017 CRS Sports Coupe.

Bec this is based on research.

So I mixed the 2017 and 2016 version together.

As for the yellow car's color I used the actual ending race of Cruz colors to represent the colors for the alternate ending.

For the signature I based it on her actress Cristela Alonzo's signature on Cruz Dinoco Funko POP!

Since she's the new star of Ruzteze I based it on the sideways logo like her DINOCO version on her hood.

The inside of their cars is based on the images I found on google regarding NASCAR stock car interiors so some may not be accurate bec I can't find other parts, bec some are blocked by how they were pictured so take it as a grain of salt.

As for her appearance since she's Hispanic and may be Latina from the sources I've seen on the internet, I based it on her actress appearance.

Including Hispanic women.

And face shapes I chosed for Hispanic women face shapes is rectangular appearance that is top middle bec I seen Cruz as more of an energetic person. But I also make her chin flat to make her look different from the women I designed from my Cars Human AU.

As for her NASCAR fire suits I had to research 2017 version bec the movie is set in 2016-2017 the only suit I found is Danica Patrick for female racers.

For her yellow color I based it on NASCAR yellow suit colors.

And her right shoe says Ronaldo bec in Cars 3 she said when during a ritual and wants McQueen to concentrate and rest his tires and he should name them just like as she named her tires, for her back left tire Maria, front left tire Fuerita, back right tire Ronaldo, and front right tire is Debbie Richardson.

Also here's the clear view of details bec the whole picture is landscape and it's hard to see

Sorry for the long post I just wanted to express my art and explanation. I'm willing to hear your thoughts on this redesign.

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brunette-barbie4562 · 4 months

Text

Uncharted (Duff McKagan X OC)

Trigger Warnings: Child abuse, drug use, homophobia

Chapter three is here :) There is a lot of dialogue in this one and a flashback. Let me know what you think!

May 2017

Conrad Dublin Hotel / Dublin, Ireland

CJ stood by the entryway of the hotel room, unsure of what to say or do as Axl beamed at her. His red hair was cut short, compared to the long straight hairstyle she had seen him with as a child. He looked casual in a pair of torn blue jeans and a graphic T-shirt, which helped her relax about her own laidback appearance. The room was a large suite and looked to have multiple rooms. She had walked into the living room area. She felt very put on the spot and smiled shyly back. He stood up and moved to hug her. As awkward as she was feeling, she readily accepted the hug, looking for some sense of familiarity in a foreign environment. He smelled lightly of cologne. When he pulled away, he said,

“It’s so good to see you CJ, it’s been so many years. Come sit, let’s talk.” He offered her the second armchair, opposite the one he had been sitting in. “Do you want anything? Water, tea, coffee? How was your flight? Any issues?” CJ opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure which question to answer first.

“I’m uh- I’ll just take some water, thanks.”

“Sparkling, or no?” She had to think for a moment to process what he had said. She didn’t think she had ever had sparkling water.

“Regular is fine.” He reached into a mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle and handed it to her. Beta had disappeared into another room, leaving them space and time to talk. She remembered the second part of his question and said “The flight was good, no issues. Just a quick layover in JFK.” He had taken a seat in the second armchair, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“And your pick up at the airport went well?” He looked at her with genuine concern. Other than her aunt and her aunt’s girlfriend, CJ had never had someone act so concerned over her.

“Ya, it went well.”

“Good, I’m excited you are here.” He took another sip of his coffee. “You may not know this, but your aunt was a great help to me back in the day.” CJ smirked at the thought of some of the stories her aunt had told her and said,

“I know a little bit.”

“Your aunt has kept me up to date on you and your studies. I know you’ve been thinking about going back to school.” CJ had not expected him to ask about her schooling.

“Ya, I’m just not sure about it. Graduate school is such a commitment and I’ve been trying to weigh the pros and cons. I’ve been out of school for a few years now and I feel like I need to decide. I’ve wanted to work in the mental health field for most of my life and most of those positions require a master’s degree.” He smiled at her with that familiar bright white smile that she remembered from so many years ago.

“Well, you can spend at least the summer working with us and think about it, make some money, I want this arrangement to be perfect.” He put his drink down and laced his fingers together, leaning back thoughtfully. “Ever since your aunt gained custody of you, and even before that time, we spoke frequently about you. Time and different circumstances have kept me from visiting in person, but I feel like I’ve watched you grow up from afar. Mindy is family to me, which means you are family.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “You and I are very alike in our history and the fact that you are wanting to help others means a lot to me.” She sat in silence and did not dare interrupt him. “I’m not sure what you know about me or the others.” It wasn’t until he gave her a questioning look that she realized he wanted her to respond.

“Oh, uh, not much to be honest. I mean I’ve heard your music growing up with my aunt obviously and I love it.” CJ was somewhat more aware than she was letting on, not wanting to seem eager. She was not comfortable enough to tell him that as a child, she had spent her nights lying in a cold van or a roach infested bed listening to Guns N’ Roses on a CD player on repeat at a high volume, either to drown out screaming or to try to feel some connection to the aunt she desperately wished she could go live with on the other side of the country.

“Well, you’ll have plenty of time to familiarize yourself,” he said with a soft smile. “You have a few days before our first show. It’s late now, you’ll meet the others tomorrow.”

“Will I be spending most of my time with you and Beta?”

“You’ll see us often, especially Beta. I don’t leave my room much when we are at hotels, it can get chaotic. So, she does most of my errands for me.” CJ felt a twinge of confusion. If she was supposed to be an assistant, it seemed that Beta had already filled that role for Axl. He saw her perplexity and said, “You’ll be working alongside our bassist, Duff. His assistant had to leave unexpectedly for a family emergency and won’t be back anytime soon.” CJ could not remember which one Duff was and tried to think back to the old pictures she had seen of the band in her aunt’s house. “You’ll like him, he’s a good guy, not an ass. He has some daughters you’d probably enjoy meeting. Younger than you, but whenever they’re here there aren’t many other girls or women around.”

“Don’t forget Melissa and Meegan.” Beta called out from the other room, making CJ slightly jump.

“Ya, them too, they’ll enjoy having you along.” He reached over to an end table and picked up a folder. He opened it and pulled a key card out of it, handing it to her. “This is your room key, we are all on this floor, your room is 803 just down the hall. Your bags should already be in there.” He handed her the folder and said, “This week’s schedule is in there, up until we leave for the next show in Spain. Duff may have other additional things going on that aren’t on there, but this is the overall schedule for everyone.”

CJ quickly scanned the paper, feeling the creeping sensation of being overwhelmed. Axl must have seen it in her face and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to meet him tomorrow and go over everything, but for the rest of the night,” he waved his hand in the air, “go relax, order some room service, and get comfortable, sleep-in late tomorrow.” She shut the folder and slipped it into her backpack. “Just text me when you’re awake and I can arrange for you and Duff to meet.” She pulled out her phone and had him add his phone number. When he was done, she stood up and hoisted her backpack up. While she still wasn’t completely understanding everything and needed time to process, she could feel the gravity of the situation and the opportunity she was being given. She was almost a little disappointed that she would not be working as Axl’s assistant. She had been there for about 30 minutes, and she could already sense his eclecticism and the intensity of his character, as well as his genuine care and concern for her. She never had a father figure in her life, or at least a good one that had stuck around.

“Thank you for everything,” she said, with a smile. Beta had opened the door for her, and she turned to leave.

“And CJ,” she turned back to him as he called after her. “Don’t be afraid to come hang out when you have free time. Like I said, you and your aunt are family to me. I want to get to know you.” At that, she grinned, felt tears come to her eyes, and her heart swelled.

“Definitely.”

Back in her room, CJ sat on the bed, still in somewhat of a daze. She had wiped the tears from her eyes. Her emotions had snuck up on her, as they usually did when somebody other than her aunt showed her a high level of affection or kindness. Even with extensive trauma therapy as a child and teen, it was not something she had been able to shake.

CJ let her backpack slide off her as she looked around. It was a large hotel room, not a multi-room suite like Axl’s, but still larger than a typical hotel room, or at least the ones she had been in. She stood up and walked over to the bathroom entryway, switching the light on. There was a beautiful garden-style tub that she suddenly could not get into fast enough. She turned the faucet to the highest heat possible to let it fill up as she stripped, tripping over her own feet as she pulled her shoes and pants off.

As CJ was about to step into the semi-filled tub, her phone began to ring, and she could see Mindy’s name flash across the screen. She picked it up, realizing she had forgotten to text her that she had made it in one piece.

“Are you alive?”

“Yes, I’m alive,” she said, “I just got to my room.”

“I was getting ready to text Axl and see where you were. Michelle and I were worried you know?” CJ heard Michelle, her aunt’s girlfriend, call out to her in the background.

“Well, I’m fine, everything went fine.” Before her aunt could speak CJ said, “You never told me you were so close with Axl Rose.”

“I thought you knew that.”

“I knew you were friends but he’s acting like I’m his niece or something. Talking about how we are like family. I was just surprised is all, I was not expecting such a grand welcome. Felt like he was rolling out a red carpet and the last time I saw him in person was over 20 years ago.” Mindy was silent on the other end and CJ thought maybe the line had gone dead. “Hello?”

“He’s had a hard time with his mental health.” Her aunt’s tone had dropped an octave. “I was there for him in some of his worst moments, Carreen. For a long time, I was always worried he wouldn’t make it. When he began touring and I moved away from Sunset, we didn’t see each other in person, but he’d often call in distress, needing help.” Throughout her childhood and teen-hood, CJ had never inquired about her aunt’s evening phone calls with the vocalist. “At one point, in fall of ‘96, he offered me a job to come work for him and live in LA, but I couldn’t at that time. I was at consumed with trying to track you and your mom down after she had fled. I had spent years setting up a stable life and home here in Redding in hopes of gaining custody, saving money for a lawyer and a private investigator. You were my priority, he understood that. Fortunately, he had Beta to support him in person.” CJ let her aunt’s words process and could only say,

“Wow.”

“He was a great help to me too. When you came to live with me and I had won custody, I thought I was over the hump. I didn’t realize there would be so much more. I hadn’t thought about it, I was just so happy to finally have you safe.” CJ understood that her aunt meant her PTSD. “I thought my love, safety, and warmth would be enough. But I was wrong. I didn’t know how to handle some of it, even with the professionals I had to help. I didn’t know what it was like for you. But he knew. He gave me the insight I needed to help you in the way you needed. He knew what it was like to grow up that way.” Her aunt’s words were sombering. She had processed much of her trauma in therapy over the years, so much so, that her PTSD symptoms were mostly dormant. Residual sensory hypersensitivities, some self-esteem issues, and the occasional nightmare was all that she dealt with anymore. But she had been unaware of the fact that her aunt had struggled so much in the beginning. She should have figured, but she had never thought about it.

“Well, that makes sense. He seemed to know a lot more about me then I had expected.”

“I’m going to tell you something that you cannot tell him that you know.”

“Ok.”

“I told you that your financial aid had covered all your college expenses, that wasn’t true. When Axl found out you were going to college for psychology, he paid for the entire four years.” CJ stood in stunned silence. “He insisted. He has no children of his own and he already felt invested in your upbringing, after all the help he gave me in the beginning. But he didn’t want anyone to know, he doesn’t like recognition for things like that.”

“Damn, next you’re gonna tell me he’s my dad.”

“No,” Mindy said with a laugh. “Trust me, your mom was nowhere near Sunset in 1988.” CJ had stopped wondering about who her father was a long time ago, she doubted her mother had even known. Now that the seriousness of the conversation had been broken, Mindy asked, “So, did he set you up in a nice room?”

“It is really nice,” said CJ, “We talked for a bit, he told me to sleep in tomorrow and then I’ll meet everyone else.”

“He doesn’t already have a fuck ton of work for you to get through,” said Mindy jokingly.

“No actually I’m not working under him, I’ll be working as an assistant for a guy named Duff.” She heard Mindy scoff.

“Duff? He didn’t tell me it was Duff who needed an assistant.” She could practically hear Mindy rolling her eyes through the phone. CJ laughed in amusement at her aunt’s annoyance.

“Why what’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing, he’s nice, he’s just-, well, he WAS kind of annoying back in the day. He’s sober now with a family, so I’m sure he’s different.”

“I was afraid you were gonna tell me he was a prick.”

“No, not an ass, just was more of an annoying little brother, at least to me. I’m sure you’ll do fine with him.” Mindy paused before saying, “Or you call me, and I’ll take care of him for you.”

“Well, that was like 100 years ago,” said CJ with a joking tone.

“I’m not that old, don’t you age me up like that.” said Mindy playfully.

“I’m hoping to catch onto things quickly for him, I don’t want to be a drag.”

“You will, just don’t forget to enjoy yourself too.”

“I’ll try.”

“Ok, well I’m gonna head over to the office to get some work done. Michelle and I are taking off Thursday to go down the coast for a little vacation, so I have some things to finish up before then. Especially now since DUFF has hijacked my trusty office assistant.” She emphasized Duff’s name with a hint of annoyance that made CJ smile.

“Ok sounds good, I’m gonna settle in and maybe order some food. I’ll text you before I go to bed. Love you.”

“Love you too.” CJ set her phone down on the bathroom counter as the call ended. Her conversation with her aunt had resonated within her. She hadn’t known things had run so deep between Mindy and Axl, but it made everything make sense.

CJ was suddenly aware of the cold air on her naked body and the tub nearly running over. She jumped to shut off the faucet.

After her bath, it had taken CJ an agonizing 30 minutes to decide what she wanted to eat from the room service menu. There were so many good options, and she was painfully aware of the expense of everything. She knew it was covered, but she felt herself weighing the price of everything as she selected what she wanted. If they were in America, she’d be able to go across the street and grab some Subway or maybe Chipotle, but she wasn’t about to leave the hotel in an unknown country to try to order something cheaper elsewhere. Additionally, all she had eaten for the past 16 hours was airport food and she needed something substantial to balance her stomach out. CJ’s growing hunger overtook her moral hang-ups about the expense of everything, and she finally settled on an appetizer of salmon gravlax, butternut squash ravioli for her meal, and crème brulee for dessert.

While waiting for food, CJ lay on the bed and flipped through television channels, not finding anything that piqued her interest. Instead, she took out her phone and decided to do some Googling. She first googled “Guns N’ Roses” and several pictures popped up. She pressed on the first one, which looked like it was from the 80’s. She immediately identified Axl Rose, front and center of the group, with his long red hair. Which one was her boss. She scrolled over onto another picture, which was much more familiar to her. It was a photo of the band, all sitting on a rug together, with Axl standing up on the right. It was the picture that was on the back of the Appetite for Destruction CD case her aunt had gifted her so many years ago. The CD and a CD player were the last things she had been given by Mindy before her mother had decided to flee California to avoid Children Protective Services.

July 1995

Mindy’s House / Redding, California

A 6-year-old CJ trembled in excited anticipation in the backseat of her mother’s little four door sedan as it cruised down a familiar wooded backroad. It was a hot 90-degree day in the dead of summer. CJ had been waiting for several months to see her aunt Mindy and return to her house in beautiful rural northern California. Her mother had been telling her they would go visit her aunt “soon.” She always told her “soon.” CJ was never sure how soon “soon” would be.

It had been about 4 months since they had last visited her aunt. CJ missed the days where she and her mother had lived with her aunt. They had lived with Mindy for about six months back in 1994. CJ had loved it. She had gotten to go to school, had all the food she wanted, and slept in a quiet, safe, and warm house. She didn’t have to wonder when her next meal would come or where she would sleep, listen to fighting or screaming, or tip toe around her explosive mother. The arrangement had gone badly when her mother and aunt had begun to fight about her mother’s increasing drug use, her lack of attention to CJ, and tendency to steal money to buy more heroin. It wasn’t long after that her mother had decided to move in with her new boyfriend in Sacramento. He had kicked them out recently, and now they were back to couch surfing and staying in her mother’s car. CJ was hoping that maybe, just maybe, she would get to stay this time. She often wished that her aunt was her mom.

The car turned off the main paved road onto a dirt road and CJ sat up higher in her seat to get a better look out the window. There were a few other homes scattered alongside the roadway and it was a five-minute drive to the end of the road where her aunt’s house was. The trees thinned on the right and finally opened up to an expansive field. The road curved along the edge of the trees, all the way up to her aunt’s light blue ranch-style home at the end. The house faced the rolling field and backed up to the forest.

As the car pulled up to the house, her aunt Mindy stepped out the front door, grinning widely. The car had barely come to a stop when CJ opened the door and jumped out. She ran to her aunt, who picked her up and held her in a tight hug. CJ hugged her back as best she could.

“I missed you, auntie.”

“I missed you too sweetheart, very much.” Her aunt gently set CJ back down. CJ’s mother approached the two slowly, a pinched look of annoyance on her face. Mindy’s smile disappeared as she looked up at her sister and her tone changed.

“Heather, good to see you.” Unable to contain herself, CJ couldn’t help but blurt out,

“Can we stay with you this time? I don’t like sleeping in the car. I want to stay here.” There was a flash of distress on Mindy’s face before she smiled softly at CJ and said,

“We’ll talk about it later. For now, why don’t you run inside and grab some cookies. I just took them out of the oven for you.” Her focus now on cookies, CJ gasped and darted in the house, leaving her mother and aunt in a tense silence.

After she had her fill of cookies, CJ wandered around her aunt’s home, going from room to room. It was your average middle class American home, but to CJ it was like a beautiful, quiet, and clean safe haven full of soft furniture, an abundance of toys for her to play with, and the delicious smell of cookies. She looked out the window at the beautiful rural landscape. The rolling green fields went on for a mile before dissolving into a distant tree line. It was a sunny day, and beyond the trees, she could see distant mountains. Everything was so quiet and peaceful here compared to Sacramento. She was eager to get outside and play in the field. The tall grass was the same height as her and it gave her a sense of shelter and peace to lay in it and look up at the deep blue sky. Additionally, there were so many little critters and insects for her to observe and investigate. Her focus was broken as she heard her aunt call out to her from the kitchen. She turned away from the window and saw her aunt standing in the doorway, holding a wrapped gift.

“I just thought I’d give you your birthday gift. I know it’s a little late, but I didn’t get a chance to give it to you last time.”

“What is it!?” Her aunt sat down on the couch and held out the package to her.

“Go ahead and open it.” CJ quickly climbed up onto the couch with her aunt and made quick work of the wrapping paper. Based on the box, she quickly recognized that it was a CD player. She had never been gifted anything so expensive or special. “Here, this goes with it.” Her aunt pulled out a small CD box. “This is my friend’s music; I hope you’ll like it.” CJ could not read the words on the front, but the picture depicted a cross with five skulls on each end. It could be any type of music, it didn’t matter. CJ finally had something that was all hers. She watched intently as her aunt opened the box for her and plugged the headphones in. The moment was broken when she heard her mother clear her throat. CJ looked up to see her standing in the doorway, watching them with disdain. CJ felt cold fear. That look was usually followed up with a beating. She jumped when she felt her aunt run a hand softly down the back of her head and say,

“Why don’t you take it out into the yard and give it a listen. I’ll get dinner started.” Never one to question adults, CJ nodded and hopped off the couch and scurried out the back door, happy to be away from her mother’s glare.

Mindy waited for her niece to close the back door before she rounded on her sister. She wanted to leap from the couch and hit her, to show her the same treatment she had been giving to CJ. But instead, she took a deep breath, calmly standing up. If this was going to work, she needed to stay calm and collected. She could not lose her cool. Her niece’s life was at stake. She cleared her throat and said,

“Why don’t we go sit down and talk, catch up. It’s been awhile.” Heather didn’t respond and continued to glare at her. Mindy didn’t wait for her response and began to walk towards the kitchen, her head down.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” Heather hissed at her. Mindy paused at her sister’s words, thinking carefully about the best way to respond. “This stupid little act you’re putting on. Auntie of the year. We shouldn’t have come. I knew this would happen.” Her sister turned to leave the room and Mindy looked up at her.

“Where did the bruises around her neck come from Heather?” Her sister stopped in her tracks but did not look at Mindy.

“It’s none of your goddamn business. You’re not her parent.” There was a moment of silence and Heather finally looked up to meet her gaze. Mindy looked her in the eyes, unafraid of her sister’s erratic behavior. She was reminded of how alike they were in appearance. The same long wavy dirty blonde hair, brown eyes, heart shaped face structure. However, the healthy fullness in her sister’s face had been lost to drug addiction. Her eyes were sunken and cold, she was pale, and her face was covered in scars and acne from prolonged drug abuse. A stranger on the street would no longer peg them as siblings, even though it had been obvious when they were both healthy. Her sister continued to speak, “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing here. The cute little house, a stable job for the first time in your life, you’re not taking her.” Mindy’s entire plan to gently approach her sister about relinquishing custody was blown. Since her niece’s birth, Mindy had tip toed around her sister, realizing how poor of a parent she would be. She had initially tried to be optimistic, hoping Heather would pull it together for her child, but it quickly became abundantly clear that she wouldn’t. Mindy had not wanted to lose access to CJ, but she could no longer sit and watch Heather neglect and abuse her. Mindy took a deep breath and said,

“I’m not doing anything Heather; I want you two to come here and have a safe place to start over, without the drugs and the revolving door of men.” She looked at her sister imploringly, wanting to plead and beg. “CJ should be in school, spending time with other kids, you should be happy and healthy here with me. I want things to be how they were when we were kids. Do you remember how we were? We told each other everything.”

“Bullshit,” said Heather, “You were always mom’s favorite. I was always doing something wrong. Mom never let me forget it. And now you’re still trying to continue to be miss perfect. I am raising CJ how I see fit, it’s none of your business. I’ll do what I want with her, she belongs to me.” Mindy moved closer to her sister, and gently took her hands in her own.

“Please Heather, please stop this. Come stay here. Let me get you the help you need. I’ll pay for whatever you and CJ need. Just stop using, it’s made you a stranger. I love you two so much.” Heather roughly pulled away from Mindy and continued towards the door.

“We are leaving, this was a mistake, I knew it.” Mindy felt a flare of anger. She did genuinely care for her sister, but her primary concern was her niece. In a bitter voice, she called out after her.

“Where are the bruises from Heather? What’s your excuse this time? You can’t tell me that child “fell” on the playground, or she did it to herself. I know you have her in and out of drug houses. If you didn’t do it to her one of your boyfriends did.” Her sister turned and exploded in anger.

“You don’t know anything you stupid dyke!” Mindy was unbothered by the slur and against her better judgment, she quickly stalked over to her sister, getting up in her face, looking down on her. Mindy was 6 foot tall compared to her sister’s smaller 5’6”.

“You can give me custody, or I’m calling CPS. You are abusing her, exposing her to strangers who could hurt her. It’s a miracle she isn’t dead already. That child should be in school. At her age, it’s illegal that she’s not, and the state will investigate for that reason alone, never mind the bruises and malnourishment. I have documentation of your abuse and neglect from day one, don’t think you can win this battle Heather.” She expected her sister to physically attack her. But instead, Heather smirked and said,

“You call CPS and hire as many fancy lawyers as you want and see how that goes for you. You’ll never see us again.”

CJ was in her own world, sitting cross legged in the backyard, messing with her new CD player. She had just begun to listen to the first song on the CD when she felt a hand grab her by the upper arm and abruptly pull with enough force that she was lifted into the air. She screamed, clinging to her CD player and CD case so she did not lose it. She heard her mother’s angry voice.

“Let’s go, we are leaving!” It took a moment for CJ to realize what was happening. Her mother was roughly dragging her towards the car, and she would not be staying with her aunt. “Say goodbye, you’ll never see your aunt again.” CJ screamed and cried, fighting against her mother’s pull.

“NO, I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE! LET ME STAY!” She began to scream for her aunt to help her as her mother had pulled open the back door of the car and was trying to stuff her inside. CJ held all of her limbs out against the frame of the car door like a starfish, in an effort to prevent her body from being shoved in. A cold shot of panic and adrenaline had set in, and CJ was able to briefly shove her mother backwards. However, it was not quick enough. As she tried to dart away, she was rag dolled and disoriented by a hard punch to the face. Her vision was blurry, and she could no longer summon any physical strength in her small body to fight back. She could hear her aunt screaming in horror and protest from somewhere nearby. She was aware of being roughly laid down in the backseat of her mother’s sedan. By some miracle, she could still feel the gifts her aunt had given her clutched in one of her hands. The driver’s door opened and shut with a slam and the car was suddenly moving abruptly. CJ caught a glimpse of her aunt’s tear streaked and screaming face in the car window. She could hear her hands clawing and pulling at the locked door handle in an effort to save her. But it was too late, her mother accelerated, and her aunt’s face was gone from the window. She tried to sit up but could not. Her head was pounding in pain, and she felt faint. She could do nothing but lay there and slip into unconsciousness.

May 2017

Conrad Dublin Hotel / Dublin, Ireland

A sharp knock on the hotel door distracted CJ enough to break her out of her trip down memory lane. She quickly closed the safari app on her phone. She got up and opened the door to find her dinner waiting on a tray. She quickly brought it inside, not wasting any time opening the trays and chowing down. The food was good, perhaps some of the best she’d ever had. She got halfway through her meal before she realized she had not ordered a drink. Not wanting to mess with the mini bar, she decided to go search for a vending machine.

Duff had finished his FaceTime call with Grace and lay back on his bed for a moment in his silent hotel room, taking a breath. His divorce two years ago had put an initial strain on his relationship with his daughters. Things had slowly grown back to normal, and they spoke on FaceTime most nights, especially he and Grace. Grace had always seemed to identify more closely with him, and the divorce had affected her harder than it had Mae. The girls had yet to join him on tour and trying to coordinate a time they could both come out was difficult with all of their activities. As amicably as things had ended, he still felt a sense of guilt over his daughters that he could not shake. He loved being a father, and his girls were his pride and joy.

The room felt warm, and he sat up to get himself a cold glass of water, not knowing if the room was actually hot or his anxiety was setting in. He got a glass and filled it and then searched for ice. When he realized he didn’t have any he remembered an ice machine at the end of the hallway. Duff listened at the door and couldn’t hear anyone outside. As much as he appreciated fans, he wasn’t looking to run into anyone tonight. He cracked the door to see no one out in the hall and decided to walk out. A small room at the end of the hallway was where he located the ice machine. He was surprised to see a woman standing at the vending machine, her back to him. Her long, thick, curly, brown hair hid much of her from view. He stuck his glass under the dispenser and pressed. The machine roared to life and the young woman jumped in surprise. She turned to look at him with a flash of fear across her delicate features. He was struck at her beauty; heart-shaped face, dark brown vixen eyes, light pink full lips, taller, and a killer hourglass figure that couldn’t be hidden under her sweatpants and cropped T-shirt. She was large-chested, and he couldn’t help but notice she didn’t appear to be wearing a bra. Not wanting to look at her too long, he smiled and said,

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” She gave him a small smile and turned back to the vending machine. She leaned down and grabbed her soda out of the slot before walking back up the hallway. He couldn’t help but glance at her one more time, admiring her. Don’t be a fucking creep McKagan, she’s gotta be half your age. Maybe if it was twenty years ago. He had a rule about keeping partners at an age-appropriate level. He didn’t want to be seen as one of those “old creepy rockstars” who solely went after young women. Since his divorce, he had fooled around a bit, but hadn’t been serious with anyone. He hadn’t dated in so long; he wasn’t sure he knew how to anymore. He kept his high libido satisfied and that’s as far as it went. Duff finished getting his ice and headed back to his room, trying to put the young woman out of his head.

#80s music #80s rock #axl gnr #axl rose #duff gnr #duff mckagan #guns n roses #saul hudson #slash gnr

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