I laughed so hard at this bit

*dramatic slow-mo running with dramatic music

Loki you idiot stop running the wrong way

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

as sad and disappointing as this is, look me in the eyes and tell me that this isnt the absolute funniest shit youve ever seen. like, they changed their bio to ONE vaguely implicative sentence and posted some promo statement about where you can find it on streaming services, and this little shitty cockroach fandom (affectionate) absolutely BLOWS THE FUCK UP. like, within the span of 2-3 days, we completely took over tumblr so that this 15-year-old fandom was trending, their twitter account gained roughly 6k followers, and everyone is theorizing about a season six a reboot a spin-off a red white and royal blue crossover every thing under the SUN and it literally gets so bad that the poor intern (thats probably gotten two hours of sleep this week and is running solely on celsius and coffee) and the two-person marketing team that managed this whole thing had to scramble to clarify that WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING WE'RE JUST ADVERTISING THE SHOW AGAIN

like. thats the funniest shit EVER.

Towards the start of Eddie’s popularity on Tiktok, he gets stopped at the park by one those Tiktokers that stop people in public and ask them questions.

Eddie’s game to talk so they’re having a little conversation when a man runs by, slaps him on the ass, and says all breathy, “Looking good, Munson.” Then they’re gone.

The video blows up and people are offended on Eddie behalf that he was assaulted by this jogger. People even slow the footage down to try to see what the guy looked like but he was wearing sunglasses and a hoodie so there’s no good angle.

Eddie responds to it all with a video from his car like. “Guys, relax. It was my husband.”

He then pans the camera over to the passenger seat of the car to what is pretty much just an ass shot because Steve has his top half hanging out the car window so he can argue with Dustin and Mike. Eddie’s just like, “See. Same shorts.”

He has a hold of the waistband of said shorts because he does not trust Steve not to fall out the window. Though he does let go to pinch Steve on the ass. “And now we’re even.”

Steve sticks his hand back in the car and swats at Eddie’s hand, and then just holds it. Eddie turns the camera back to himself and ends the video with a pleased smile on his face.

i think the thing i love about Skizz in season ten the most is- so you know those jokes like "oh they should have one normal person competing in each sport at the olympic to show what a normal person can do"

skizz is the single normal person on this olympic server and the hermits are so concerned for him. like. nothing skizz is doing is That out of the ordinary for a regular builder hermit- but skizz isn't so the other hermits are extra aware of his limits.

from skizz's episode 3: grian: have you made this in creative at all Skizz: no i dont do stuff like that :D *worried grian silence*

Gem: it's a great idea! just dont burnout making giant things!

he's having such a great time with it but the hermits are so worried about him trying to keep up with them. i think its cute and it really shows just how aware the hermits are of how far from Normal this server is, which is hard for us, the viewers, to keep track of since we dont have non-hermits to compare the hermits against. and now we do and i love him so much

still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia

some small predictions for the next life series

[ID: A scene from the Mob Psycho 100 stageplay. Reigen raises a fist in front of Shou, looking stressed and infuriated, but he turns and walks away. He pulls his hand back to himself and chants, “I’m an adult, I’m an adult, I’m an adult, I’m an adult–” He turns back around and flings a pointed finger at Shou, looking like he’s at his wit’s end as he shouts, “– but I’m well within my rights to be pissed off right now!” End ID]

RJSHASERBHJSFGZDFG

you're standing tall, dragon's son

phenomenal episode overall. kendall demanding clouds because he saw them in berlin and trying not to cry when the stagehands cannot in fact build berlin in a day. matsson walking barefoot across a tarmac. shiv and tom biting deep into each other's forearms to see who can withstand the pain the longest in public at a fancy business event. roman firing a random woman because she didn't seem to think he lived up to his dad. roman firing gerri because she doesn't think he lives up to his dad. roman regretting firing gerri immediately and asking ken to undo it but ken is overjoyed and says it's what dad would do so roman smiles and says okay. kendall floating faceup in a body of water that he dove into of his own accord. shiv booking an empty conference room to cry in when no one's around. gerri saying fuck. karl serving cunt. roman genuinely feeling bad about not including shiv, apologizing to her, and asking if they could all hug. kendall announcing a bizarre dystopian real estate project that's framed as 'like a cruise but on land and forever and by forever we mean forever we're talking cryogenics.' tomshiv playing straight chicken all episode. roman listening to an edit of his father insulting him over and over on the ride home. everything i ever could've wanted

Idk man, 2022 didn't fuck around?

The Queen dies;

Jair Bolsonaro loses in Brazil, and decides to go away WITHOUT trying a coup (this was not a given)

Putin gets his ass kicked in Ukraine, the world comes together to oppose him;

The GOP's much hyped "Red Wave" in the American midterms is a Big Lol; now they have to contend with the Talented Mr. Santos and the constant clown show that will be a Republican House and Kevin McCarthy trying DESPERATELY to get elected speaker;

The Democrats kept the Senate and even added a seat, while capping off a year of big and meaningful legislative accomplishments; hence if certain unnamed SCOTUS justices snuff it in the next two years, they can fill that seat;

The Tories, after an absolutely laugh-so-you-don't cry year of absolutely surreal comedic incompetence inflicted on the people of Britain, are an average of 26 points behind in general opinion polls;

Sex trafficker and all around miserable misogynist Andrew Tate tries to pick a fight with Greta Thunberg, self owns to an amazing degree, is now being held in a Romanian prison for another month after stupidly giving his location away via pizza box;

Former Pope Benedict XVI, aka a decades-long enforcer of sexual abuse coverups in the Catholic Church as well as various other reprehensible moral positions, kicks the bucket (on the last day of the year)

A new climate deal was made;

And so on.

I mean, various other bad things very much still did happen, and it was a tough year for a lot of us on a personal level, but this is the first year since probably 2016 where it feels like there's actually a bit of hope for the future on a big structural level, and I appreciate that.

I love how this was just a little theater performance for soukoku. Dazai’s dramatic acting once he “realized” Chuuya was there. Chuuya’s vampire noises. Dazai’s overdramatic speech about memories… the long pause before the cheerfully fake goodbye. Dazai’s annoyed look when Fyodor was talking shit about his and chuuya’s bond (he probably felt so smug on the inside). Dazai’s other speech about the power of friendship and their fate that was completely unnecessary because he knew that Chuuya wasn’t actually possessed. Chuuya fake shooting Dazai in the head, which they have extensively trained for in the past. Their commitment to the bit is everything

It stands to reason that Harry’s holding groceries when he runs into Draco Malfoy for the first time in twenty years.

Well— doesn’t run into, exactly. No, more like peers through a shop window like a right barmy bastard, bits of overspilling lettuce brushing his arm and passers-by on Diagon shooting him strange looks.

Of course Malfoy has to look up from the till— because, yes, Draco Malfoy is a shopkeeper on Diagon Alley apparently— and see him goggling. So, of course, Harry has to step inside, as though he meant to make a stop at— right, yeah, Narcissus Needlework Studio— all along, holding brown paper packages of vegetables.

Malfoy’s frowning when Harry makes his way over to the till.

“I don’t want any trouble,” he says. “I’ve registered the shop, everything’s perfectly within regulation—“

“Trouble?” Harry blinks. “Oh, no. I’m not an Auror. Anymore.”

“I know that,” Malfoy says unhappily. “The whole Wizarding World all over Europe knows that. Only you’ve never left well enough alone, have you, Potter?”

Harry’s forty next month. He’s lived twenty years seeing hide nor hair of Draco Malfoy, and he’s never gone looking. Well, except for that one time when he was twenty one and went to the Manor as a trainee Auror for a— well, it was a routine check, really. And that other time when he was twenty five and thought he saw a man at a club who looked just like Malfoy from the back and was convinced for four months Malfoy was back in London and must be up to something if no one knew about it. And that time when he was thirty two— and, oh, alright, Harry hasn’t ever left well enough alone, not when it comes to Malfoy, at least.

This time, though, Harry really didn’t go looking. And it’s definitely Malfoy.

“I just wanted some— thread,” Harry says. A needlework studio should have some of that, shouldn’t it?

“Thread,” says Malfoy. He looks down, deliberately, at Harry’s lettuce.

“For Molly,” Harry says. “As a, um, birthday present. New shop on Diagon, thought I’d pop by. Seemed the place, you know. Didn’t know it was yours.”

Molly’s birthday, Malfoy doesn’t need to know, is in December. It’s June.

Malfoy continues to stare at him, until Harry’s unsure whether to get indignant about it all or turn tail and flee.

“Well,” says Malfoy before he can make a choice. “Embroidery yarn for you, then, Potter. Come along.”

-

“I’ll see you again, I assume,” Malfoy says at the end of what transpires to be a surprisingly smooth purchase.

Harry nods.

He only realises after he leaves that there’s no reason for him to come back. He’s seen it for himself— what Draco Malfoy’s up to these days. Nothing nefarious or suspicious, just yarn and needles and tapestries on Diagon.

Except, well, he’s committed now, hasn’t he? And Harry Potter’s a man of his word. He said yes, when Malfoy asked— Malfoy asked!— so he’ll be back.

And really, if he has to invent Hermione’s sudden new and passionate interest in needlework— well. That’s between Harry and his lettuce.

written for @drarrymicrofic’s prompt “sewing”. i just personally think harry james potter could be seventy five and still rapidly become obsessed with draco malfoy at any given moment.

Penny’s dedication to this gag the whole dub killed me

teen divorce selfie

inspired entirely by @apricior 's divorce reunion post lmao