thinking abt the kon, bart, and cass (cain) trio again. guys who just never had any semblance of a childhood... i want them to go on a little adventure together. they're just like "we've never done kid stuff let's go be silly for a day!!!" and then kon realizes that out of the three of them, he's gonna be stuck being the closest thing they've got to impulse (haha) control. cass and bart would enable each other about all sorts of things and i need them to get up to shenanigans.
like, i need cass to steal one of bruce's cards so they can go to a theme park together. they're getting photos and kon calls cass "bat-babe" and she calls him "super-stud" and bart's like "i need one of these nicknames too hello??" and cass thinks really hard and goes "imp-ass?" and kon loses his shit. bart's like "that just sounds like impasse. no thanks." and kon looks at cass and says "imp passes," and then breaks into a gigglefit again. bart complains all of the roller coasters go too slow. bart and kon centrifuge poor cass on the teacup ride. she nearly throws up as soon as they get off and then demands to go again. bart challenges her to a candy eating contest and kon's like NO!!!!!!! DO NOT ACCEPT!!!!!!!! HES A SPEEDSTER!!!! so of course cass accepts. and then makes herself sick. bart's still impressed by how fast she can shove candy in her mouth for someone with no superspeed at all though.
also it would be fun if they stumbled upon a murder mystery or something in this theme park. i mean they would be like oh this is fucked up, but i would see it as enrichment in their enclosure or whatever. let cass be a noir detective with her two extremely op sillies as backup. idk. the vibes. you get me??
183 notes
·
View notes
me becoming a gortash apologist apparently
i never thought i'd say this. i am thinking about Enver Gortash. i'm usually not one of his apologists but... i've had brain rot for my Durge lately, and i think a big moment of developing your Durge is how you react to meeting Gortash again, yeah? you may or may not be close with Karlach but the party and Durge especially have all faced similar trauma of betrayal and exploitation nonetheless (and so has Gortash), he's already been introduced vaguely at the end of Act 2 as a threat/main villain, he worships Bane, he has general edge lord vibes (remember that bit where I'm usually not a Gortash apologist djdjdjd); what i'm trying to spit out, is there's a lot to sway you against Gortash in that first meeting. and I'd argue even a little further, as someone that followed Orin's plans of betrayal against him in my first Tav run, (just because her audacity is so damn funny.)
But anyway. Meeting Gortash. Finding out you used to be close. Perhaps homoerotically, perhaps in a strange platonic manner, or some other third thing, but nonetheless, Durge is assumably the only person Gortash has ever truly liked. He just really goes out of his way with praise at meeting again, the use of the word favorite is notable, and if Gortash had anyone worth elevating, he would, right? That was how Ketheric got here, Orin wants more credibility for herself and the Bhaalists, and Gortash... just enslaves his parents in their old home/business. But he liked you. He's really so similar to Astarion (it's nothing, you're just the only person I've ever truly cared for); he's just already a touch too far gone in his power hungry search for security. He's already repeated the cycle, years and years ago with Karlach as the main example and just the inevitability of being Bane's Chosen. And yet - Durge comes marching through the door again with this band of misfits and his old lackey he wronged, and he's willing to make a true bargain.
And I know it's just in Gortash's character to scheme, but l think playing as reformed Durge makes Gortash's potential deal all the more devastating, since he will truly follow through on his word (or, at least he would.)
It's so funny to show up dating Astarion or Shadowheart, and imagine them teasing you later that night, saying they thought you'd have better taste. Or the bitterness of being with Karlach, knowing that you seemed to be in such deep kahoots. And so on. The point is not valuing that past relationship with Gortash. Focusing on the shiny and new.
And like whatever. Gortash isn't ever going to publicly present that his feelings are hurt but like... wouldn't they? Your past lover or at the very least, only close friend struts in, now thinking they're some big shot, so beyond everything you two had ever done... when you always lived in their shadow beforehand, frankly. Gortash adores how this flawless plan was majorly Durge's, critiques Orin's sloppy manner of filling your place, how Ketheric was just a means to an end. But he liked you. The person who helped him raid Mephistopheles' vault, in turn helping him spit not only in the arch devil's face, but his past captor, Raphael's too (since Raph lives chronically in the shadow of his father, imo.) The person who thought they could formulate and enact this whole plot, and the only one he was willing to follow, to be an equal with, now coming to tell him what everyone always does, inevitably.
A final fuck you, or some form of betrayal, the same thing that caused his mess all those years ago when sold off to that warlock.
It would have to hurt, and while it's funny to imagine my little gnome Durge dying inside and cackling to the party about sleeping with an enemy and technically being the enemy... a little obssessed at the angst you could perceive of Gortash somehow falling for any crazy Bhaalspawn, nonetheless Durge, who was never one for morals, coming back renewed and not to come get him or work things out... but to slay him or turn against him. I'd send the Steelwatchers after our asses too.
In conclusion, Gortash, probably:
sigh. my bias against greasy little guys could never truly make me hate you, enver gortash. look at you, the man that you are.
79 notes
·
View notes
This morning I was thinking about how in the very third episode of Metalocalypse, the guys surprise Murderface on his birthday by giving him a gift especially catered to his tastes.
And in the final movie, they not only forgive Murderface for the betrayal, but also reassure him of his vital importance in the band.
Murderface, you have always been very loved.
251 notes
·
View notes