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#they're just different from dogs
jerswayman · 2 months
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i think we all know it's you who never wants to leave brando
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sysig · 1 year
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A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Wobbledogs#Sometimes media flooding bleeds over into other interests at the same time and yes that is my only justification for this lol#I'm always most amused by the sequence of things lol - I'd already started in on Handplates again but then got very diverted by Wobbledogs#Which is especially weird to me because I was introduced to the game like half a year ago and it didn't really grab me#It's cute but eh it's fine - and then I watched a proper lightly edited playlist not like jumpcut-jumpcut-jumpcut#That can make for a very punchy one-off but it doesn't really reflect the gameplay loop#So actually getting to see it properly made the difference and I kinda Get It now and also kinda want to own the game lol#MeanWhile - Ghoster's been hanging out as my desktop buddy literally /while/ watching and I was getting new ideas on that front#They smushed together lol#Having him onscreen is just a good excuse to do a quick once-over style of study and follow some silly ideas haha#What would Gaster think of a progressive mutation type game ♪ Watching them grow watching them struggle to walk#Only uses the scold feature - or the worse option that he treats the dogs better than the skelebros noooo haha#Pretty much all of the creatures in Undertale are sentient to some degree aren't they :0 Wobbledogs are just dogs#They're not monsters but they're not humans but they're not exactly just dogs either - just little creachurs haha#It's fun to imagine him nurturing anyone or anything haha ♪ Goes from ''???'' to ''How can I help this reach their full potential''#Whatever ''potential'' means in his own context hehe#It's cute in its own way
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kyouka-supremacy · 8 months
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Could you elaborate more on akutagawa bringing out atsushi's cruel side and atsushi bringing out akutagawa's kinder side? Despite everything i do think there were moments where atsushi held akutagawa's strength in high regard and felt inferior to him but denies this by constantly mocking akutagawa and reminding him that he lost in their first fight. Ngl i really love how atsushi can be himself around akutagwa, he doesn't need to be the atsushi that everyone loves, he can be the atsushi that only he can love 😭
Okay I've talked about this plenty so you might want to check out these posts (1) (2) (3) (4); on Akutagawa's good nature (1) (2); on Atsushi's mean nature (1) (2) (3)
My final take is: it's true, Atsushi brings out Akutagawa's kind side and Akutagawa brings out Atsushi's cruel side. But it shouldn't be left at that, risking of running into the error of reducing their relationship to an oversimplifying formula. It's true, Atsushi is mean around Akutagawa and Akutagawa is kind around Atsushi; but what we should really focus on is the fact that they manage to bring out a side of each other that other characters don't. Which is a good thing! It means that they can be their true selves, letting go of the fear of judgement and abandonment, because they know they're okay with each other. And I'm positive that yes, although it initially manifested with Atsushi being straight up a jerk to Akutagawa, it's not going to stop at that; because if it's true that Akutagawa brings to light facets of Atsushi's nature that don't usually emerge, it's also true that Atsushi's true nature isn't all evil and nothing else. First off, Atsushi is also manifestly more confident around Akutagawa, he's more brave and cool. He's sassy and sharp, he's blunt and stops overthinking things. Who knows if, once he's grown more affectionate of Akutagawa, once he's changed his mind about him, that will also translate in him being more open about how much he admires Akutagawa? Personally, I like to believe it will (Atsushi's love language being words of affirmation which is exactly what Akutagawa needs, eheh). After all, the “If you asked me, I'd say Dazai-san has already recognized you long ago” (which I've said, probably made Akutagawa fall right then and there) likely didn't come from a place of high esteem as much as it was just Atsushi honestly expressing his thoughts, unfiltered in front of Akutagawa. Then, just think of what he could tell him once his feelings for Akutagawa have morphed from simple animosity to something positive!
To me sskk really is:
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It's unpealing each layer till they're completely naked in front of each other, but God knows if having someone they can be utterly vulnerable with isn't exactly what they need. And yes, that started off as Atsushi being extremely rude to Akutagawa, but I'm sure it's not going to stop at that. It's going to develop in Atsushi being comforted by Akutagawa saying “do we need any more?” because having each other is truly all they need, and it's going to develop in Atsushi softly smiling at Akutagawa because no one else could make him feel safe and serene as he does.
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lastdivantruther · 7 months
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soukoku headcanons
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7clubs · 1 year
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Fresh refs for the coming Artfight (my profile is here)!
Here are my new gay dog OCs.... who totally aren't like... spin-offs of a pair of videogame lawyers or anything.....
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bonefall · 10 months
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Have you thought about collabing with the creators of Clangen?
It would be cool? But from what I know, Clangen really tries to stick close to canon, moreso than I do. They wouldn't be looking to add my clan culture expansions or spirituality overhauls.
So like, sure, if they/a mod maker approached me with an idea or request. Otherwise I'm not sure what we'd collaborate about?
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sergle · 10 months
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Now I’m curious, what breeds are on your list?
✨Golden Retrievers✨ Pomeranians Samoyeds Rottweilers Irish red setters German Shepherd (I like the black ones) Rough Collies and Shelties Great Pyrenees Bernese Mountain Dogs Cocker Spaniels St. Bernards Borzois and probably more that I forgot to list!! These are all dogs that I Especially want to cry when I see them, and that I could see myself loving / being able to meet the particular needs of their breed. I've expanded my Range a little in the two years since I brought Hugo home, since he's taught me a lot about dogs, and I could potentially take care of a baby with very different needs from the ones that he had. I'm still by no means a dog expert but. Yanno. You learn small things over time! In the end, when I was searching for a dog a few years ago, I had a few qualifications I didn't want to budge on. I needed a dog that's trainable, but not stubborn, a dog that's gentle and considerate with my cats and my niblings, a dog that's not too reactive, a dog with soft fur, and a dog that is affectionate. So... Hugo is all of those things!!! He picks up skills quickly and listens (I gotta work on his Recall though), he takes extreme care around the cats and is so careful that he can be left alone with kittens and baby chicks, so being sat on / bothered / tugged on by small kids isn't even a challenge. He has never growled at anyone or anything in Irritation in his life. He's never bared his teeth. He doesn't bark at strangers or at odd noises, he doesn't snap as a response to being surprised. He's extremely pillowy soft, and his fur doesn't irritate my skin or pierce my clothes. He is extremely, extremely sweet and loving, frankly to the point that he would easily fall in love with a new owner if he was kidnapped lmao. You can maybe see why I like goldens so much. I got REALLY close to adopting a Pomeranian, which I'll continue to Think About, basically forever... but as someone with a predisposition for migraines, I don't want to set the dog up for failure if I'm not ready to hear bark bark bark bark bark bark bark all day. That's the ONLY downside. Maybe I invest in some noise cancelling headphones? They're beautiful dogs though, I love an animal that looks like a little rat. You ever see one of them after a bath? My god.
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fisheito · 10 months
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Resting body temperature headcanons based on pure speculation
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batboybisexualism · 2 months
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ugggggggh today I had a surprise extra dog walk, and I'm already on a dog-sit so I had to leave sweet miss Bailey alone at home three times today, and she gets separation anxiety so that was hard 😭 also while walking Finn and Leo in the park I not only had to deal with every single one of the dozens of people I passed on the walk not moving out of the fucking way, like I swear people are allergic to sharing the path in that park and the path is like eight feet wide, so I always have to drag the dogs over to the grass next to the path which isn't as smooth and it's usually muddy and/or covered in fallen tree branches etc so it's harder to navigate without tripping especially with those insane dogs pulling me all over the place, ANYWAY not only did I have to deal with that but I also had maybe the worst asthma attack I've ever had and I didn't have my inhaler so my lungs have been sore all day and I can't fucking breathe normally 😭😭😭
ALSO I went to swap out the tip on the syringe for my t-shot from the drawing needle to the injecting needle and when I screwed it in I heard a cracking sound...didn't really think anything of it because when I aspirated the needle it seemed to be working fine, but once I jabbed myself and pushed the plunger down all the t oil just squirted out of the side of the base of the needle tip and all over my leg lmaooooooo so now I have to call my endo and be like "hey I spilled my boy juice can I have more" and idk what they're going to say because I just had to refill it early because I'd been giving myself a double dose because they didn't fucking tell me how much to inject into myself so I had to guess 😅😅😅😅😭😭😭😭😭😭
I feel like absolute shit I feel so sick and exhausted and I haven't been able to sleep lately because I'm in so much pain and can't ever find a comfortable position and my restless leg syndrome has been so insanely bad idkkkkkk it's just so stupid I honestly can't wait for my surgery next week because I'll be taking two weeks off to recover lmao............if my surgery even happens lol who fucking knows!!!! and like yeah I'll feel way better dysphoria-wise but I'll also be post-surgery lol so physically I'm probably going to feel even worse than I do now!!!!!!!!! why am I aliiiiivvvveeeeeeeeeeeee
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starboy-squeakers · 2 months
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Again not a dungeon meshi reader/watcher but every time I hear about that laois guy I get reminded of how my system had/has a hyperfixation on dragons so intense that we got that big fancy dragonology book and we treated it like the damn dragon Bible for like years
Now, obviously, we understand that there's different interpretations on mythical creatures, and no one interpretation on a dragon is necessarily gospel, but that multiple interpretations on the classic tale of beasts of scale and fire are completely valid and to be expected!
however if you call an Eastern dragon a coatl I'm going to come to your house and slaughter your family
#THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT#yes they have similarities but coatls have WINGS typically and dont usually have other limbs. they're more serpentine birds#meanwhile Eastern dragons (Chinese depictions for example) don't typically have wings and are more lizard-like#like Mushu !!!!!!!! Mushu is an Eastern dragon#and then there's drakes and wyrms. which are entirely different bc they can't really fly#drakes are more like draconic horses or dogs. no wings but four limbs and a tail with a reptilian appearance#wyrms are more serpentine with no limbs and no wings. though i think some interpretations of wyrms give them like.. two forelimbs#then there's wyverns. wyverns have two legs and two wings instead of the typical eight limbs (four limbs two wings)#(i also perosnally hold true to the interpretation of wyverns with poisonous stingers for tails but that's just me cause i think its cool)#..... how much of this is just me talking abiut dragons#explodes.#oh yeah and obv there's the HTTYD interpretations which i adore! they're interesting#the designs are so fascinating and from what ive seen seem to have some science behind them#and arent just the typical western style of dragons. which nothing wrong with the western style it's a classic ofc#but it's still fun to see some variation!!#and ofc there's WOF#which holds true to Western dragons in simple anatomy but has its own variations and of course its own lore#then there's. fuck i forget the name but it's a fantasy story based in China i believe#i loved it so much it was so cool#anyways it had a dragon character named Seryu. I love Seryu. he my favorite#anyways i liked the interpretation of dragons there bc iirc it held true to ummmmm some Chinese mythology involving dragons#cause Eastern mythology of drahons is . so much diffetent than Western#Western dragons are commonly very monstrous creatures‚ usually very animalistic#they tend to embody the Christian concept of greed/gluttony hence why they're so typically monstrous/villainous#which i find interesting but i wont get into that#meanwhile. i wanna say Eastern dragon legends more revolve around the idea of a dragon as more of a godly/fae-type creature?#that's probably a poor comparison but that's how i interpreted it. agian im probahly wronf about all of this#im some weirdo rambling about dragons on the internet. dont trust me explicitly#i need to get more dragon mythology books#HELP I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I DIDNT THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE GOOD LORD OKAY I'LL SHUT UP NOW
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canisalbus · 7 months
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Hi!! I don't know if anyone has drawn this before (sorry if they have!! I couldn't find any evidence of it) but I have recently been plagued with the question of "what if Machete and Vasco were in Bluey?"
Well. Now we know.
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To my knowledge, the only Bluey dogs who wear clothes are the ones in uniforms. TECHNICALLY Machete's outfit could count, but I left it out because it's not typical of a main character. He must be naked 😔
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#oh GEEZ they're so cute uaugh#no you're the first to make this crossover!#once someone told me that my dogs and Bluey could exist in the same universe#and even though I'm getting my Bluey lore from second hand sources I think that might be correct and feasible#so you know#take that and eat it with your breakfast#it's great how it's almost justified to let Machete keep his outfit but in the end he must be naked 😔#while everyone is on board with Vasco wearing only a smile#like yeah that tracks he doesn't seem to mind#I like how you managed to translate Vasco's gradients to a form that works with the art style#including the lighter chest/abdomen#also maybe this is an odd thing to say but I suddenly realized how monochrome they are#like their designs have very little contrast and are essentially just different hues of a same color#weird moment to notice that#thank you! this was so sweet#they're adorable#gift art#stafell#own characters#Machete#Vasco#I had sort of a rough day so this cheered me up a lot#cw needles#I had to go get blood tests done and this specific lab person had been really heavyhanded with me before so I asked her to be gentle#and she jabbed the needle into a nerve and I full on screamed in pain and sweated and shook and passed out for a couple of seconds#worst medical experience this far I never knew routine stuff like that could potentially hurt so immensely#I've never been scared of needles before and that has been sort of a point of pride for me#like at least I can do this one unpleasant thing effortlessly#but now I'm just terrified of that happening again#been feeling really weird/exhausted/nauseous all day and the arm still feels weak and tingly so I'm going to bed early tonight
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ruthlesslistener · 1 year
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not to keep vagueposting about animal welfare discourse, but i happened to run into one of the blogs that was shitting on scout for their cow husbandry and the shit they were saying was so fucking stupid...it was something along the lines of 'rabbits aren't social animals because their wild ancestors have a social group set entirely by mating/the HRS tries to force you to bond rabbits unnecessarily and is a peta-affiliated organization/its unnecessary to spay female rabbits because the 85% association between uterine cancer and not spaying is only supported by two studies', all of which may make sense for breeding rabbits is complete and utter bullshit when dealing with pet rabbits.
Rabbits are indeed social animals that grow anxious when alone and should have SOME form of companionship most hours of the day. This does not have to be another rabbit, and the urging to establish a bonded pair is typically done for people who are OUT OF THE HOUSE most of the day. HRS and shelters don't 'force' pairings, they encourage them because having someone around 24/7 isnt always viable in American households. When I tried to get Celeste bonded because I was worried about her welfare (this was when I was 14 and new to rabbits), both the HRS and shelters talked us out of it because she very clearly did not care about other buns, and didn't need to be bonded because there was always someone around them. But if you're a singular person who's away from home most of the time, then yes you need some sort of partner animal because it reduces stress in your rabbit.
Those social structures are ofc going to be different if you have unfixed breeding animals, but the core aspect of it is still the same. Rabbits are social animals. They are comforted by the presence of others around them, form bonds with other rabbits, and feel more secure in groups. Just because they are more territorial when unfixed (as they should!) doesn't reduce the fact that they are social prey animals, it just means that you need to keep them in different conditions than you would a fixed creature with less hormonal urges
The HRS is not aligned with PETA. They denounce affiliations with meat breeders because they're entirely based on improving the welfare of rabbits that are kept as pets. I can see why some might feel offended on their stance against meat rabbits, but rabbits are still primarily viewed as livestock, and after hearing enough comments about people wanting to eat my rabbit, I can understand why they'd be so clear on it. People are assholes about pets that are commonly viewed as feeder animals.
There is indeed a high risk associated between UNBRED unspayed female rabbits and uterine cancer. This is supported by several studies on animals with similar breeding lifestyles by multiple veterinary institutions. You won't notice it in your breeding females because the risk is SPECIFICALLY for unbred animals, aka most pets. So yes, spaying is necessary for your doe's health if you do not intend to regularly breed or have stopped regularly breeding
Even if there wasn't a very real danger to their health, you'd still need to get them fixed to reduce behavioral problems. Unfixed rabbits are much more territorial, destructive, and aggressive, making them more difficult to keep in a home environment. They will growl, they will lunge and bite (and rabbit bites are not something you want to fuck with- I have scars from Celeste's nips), they will piss and shit to mark their territory and it WILL be pungent and unsanitary even if they are litterbox trained. They can still be cuddly with you, sure, that won't reduce their value as pets, but a perpetually sexually frustrated and territorial animal is not fun to deal with and is arguably unethical for the rabbit. If you want a pet rabbit, you need to get them spayed. And I say this from personal experience- Celeste wasn't spayed when we got her, but after she did get spayed, she became much more manageable and less likely to bite. She was still manageable beforehand, but afterwards she was a hell of a lot more relaxed and not stressed
There's nothing wrong with having significantly different husbandry because you are a meat/fur breeder; unfixed animals have different temperaments, different needs, and are typically kept in different conditions that are more economically and behaviorally suited to turning a profit. But those care requirements change drastically when you have only one to two fixed animals in a home environment, which means that you cannot pass judgement on pet care requirements when you're a meat breeder, and visa versa.
#lets also not forget that this whole discourse started bc someone said that culling goat kids at birth based on sex felt wrong#and some meat breeder took it as a personal attack even though rabbits and goats are DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT ANIMALS#yes hard culling rabbit kits is necessary. but its also not a massive fucking waste when they have huge litters#if you're breeding an animal for meat and they only have one or two at a time over a span of some months then its a MASSIVE WASTE#but anyways this is about rabbits and yeah. im bitter bc i miss celeste and the holier-than-thou attitude got to me#i dont have problems with how they keep their rabbits but i do have problems with them applying farming rules to domestic pets#if you have multiple unfixed rabbits in an outside hutch then yes you need to keep them seperate to prevent breeding and stress#but they're still fine because *they know other rabbits are there*#they can see smell and hear them#if you have ONE rabbit in a home environment it NEEDS companionship bc its alone#if its unfixed then no it cant be another rabbit but it can be you. if its fixed then thats when another bun is an option#and yes they are intensely social and rabbits that do accept a partner benefit massively from it have you even seen bonded pairs#they groom each other and flop together and spend all their time with each other its def. a mutually beneficial pairing#celeste just didnt need it bc there was always someone home with us so she saw other rabbits as a threat#but if that wasnt the case then it would have been different#they arent dogs or cats!! you cant treat them as such!!#and for the record the husbandry needs of unfixed vs fixed animals is a Thing for all other pet species#or at least most of the
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strifethedestroyer · 11 months
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my uncle died. hm
this is the first time i've ever reached the tag limit. the last word is meant to be funeral.
#text#interesting experience#i mean it was expected he's been suffering for a couple of months now. he got a lot better at one point and everyone was like woo you're-#-gonna survive! you're not gonna be like before but you're not gonna die but eh voila he died#like a week ago he was sent to the hospital because his kidneys just failed and the doctors said nah dude he's on his deathbed. better#just die at home rather than dying in the hospital alone so they took him home and they've been waiting ever since and here we are#personally i barely know shit about the guy. he used to deliver us bread and he shook my hand once and smiled at me. radiated a good aura#but i dont know anything. dad says he really respected and loved my brother and i so ill take his word for it#but man for the past like month its all you hear about. like i dont mean this in a derogatory way i completely understand dont get me wrng#but its just death death death all around#an hour or so ago i was walking my dog with my mom and brother and i just said i wonder if uncle's died yet#20 minutes afterwards my mom gets a call that he's died. uncle was in a different room from the rest of the family so they couldnt know#exactly when he died (we went to visit at about 5 pm today and he was alive but asleep) but my parents think it must have been around when#i said that. dad's superstitious and all and says that uncle sent me a sign. like i said apparently uncle loved me a lot. im not#superstitious but i'll take his word for it - uncle sent me a sign before he died.#i feel a little bad now. he seemed like a good man. im just replaying my only memory of him - that time when he shook my hand and smiled#like smiled very brightly. he and grandma look so alike. like ofc they do they're siblings but they look so alike#im very worried for my parents and grandma though.#espechially grandma. she's been at his house almost all week becuase she knew his time was soon#when we visited today we were supposed to pick her up and bring her home and then return her tomorrow but once we arrived she apparently#said (idk i didnt go inside i just wandered outside and pspsed at cats#that she didnt want to come home becuase he was very ill. she knew man she knew.#i dont know how she's going to handle this i just hope she'll be okay we'll do what we can to help her#i hope my parents are going to be okay too. me and my mom's relationship is rocky and i dont like my dad much#my dad returned from europe yesterday to stay with us for a month and i was really not looking forward to it. i always dread his visits#like dont get me wrong i love him just like im supposed to i just dont like him very much#but nonetheless i hope they'll be okay#as far as i know my brother also didnt know my uncle very well so i dont think i have to worry about him#he and i will just have to do our best to support our family i guess#about like 30 minutes ago my parents left for uncle's house and they'll return early morning tomorrow and then go back immidietaly for the
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person-official · 1 year
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Alternative universes are such a cool concept to me.
Like, imagine there's a universe where Colombus never sailed across the world, or even one where he was just not a shitty person. I wonder how different my life would be sometimes. Or maybe something a lot less impacting.
Maybe one where Ranboo Live or Wilbur Soot never got popular. I probably would have gotten over my DSMP faze a lot quicker than the almost three years it took me. They definitely helped shape my humor, no way I would be the same person.
Or a universe where I was actually born a boy. I think about that one a lot as well. I don't doubt my life would be easier, I don't doubt I would also be a LOT happier.
Maybe in a universe where the Library of Alexandria wasn't burned down, how much more literature would we have? How many more things would we know?
Do you think there's a Universe where there's a place that holds all the universe's secrets? I've thought of that a lot too. I've always pictured it as a ginormous library with bookshelves touching the ceiling to the floor, golden engravings etched along the side, and one of those moving ladders from Beauty and the Beast. There would be an area in the middle of the bookshelves with tables and tables seated next to each other in an infinite amount of rows. Of course, there would be two floors, maybe even a third! I think one of the floors would have a couple of restaurants. I'm picturing a Panera and a Tim Hortons, placed along the sides. The books would contain anything you could ever want to know, from the Meaning of Life to a Do it Yourself Book: Origamii Edition, to your favorite fan fiction in physical form!
#alternate universe#christopher columbus#trans man#trans rights#Cisgender AU#ranboo#wilbur soot#I would normally tag the DSMP but I'm a Dranti now so I won't.#library of alexandria#Knowledge#Thinking#shifting#? kinda#ok but another thing BLACK PHONE I'm sorry but I would love a place where everyone survived or maybe an entirely different concept where its#still the 80s and the same characters and shit but an entirely different concept where the Grabber doesn't exist and it's just a sitcom#comedy thing but they're aloud to be gay course let's be honest there was something with Robin and Finney.#and Brance too cause even tho they had no screen time together I still ship it so add them too.#also the show has like 12 seasons with super good acting and it's a well-written slow burn with Rinney end game and fuck it I want a Billy#episode all we got from him was that he has a dog and he's a paper boy. and I change my mind I want double the seasons but I don't want it#to END with Rinney I want it to start in season 12 out of 24 and after that it's just fluff and drama. but also I want more Donna#it's just fluff and drama. but also I want more of Donna not necessarily as a homewrecker character but I wanna introduce her as one#at the start of the series later her character gets more complex than just ‘Finney’ I want depth not just boys. I also don't want it to just#revolve around Finney even tho he's the main character I want the point of view to change now and again. I want to know what its like in#the day of the like if Vance#of Vance Griffin Billy Bruce AND ESPECIALLY ROBIN Holy shit I wanna see so much pining with him and I want to audience to be border on#mad at Finney for not realizing that Rkbin likes him back. Think Byler but funnier. also I want laugh tracks#but not like The Big Bang Theary
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coloursofaparadox · 7 months
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hnnnnnnnnnnnmmnn its overshare on the internet o clock
#my shitty ex has sent me a text asking to meet up and talk#and in a predictable move the text itself doesnt actually apologize or acknowledge that she did anything fucked up#it instead says 'we both did some pretty messed up stuff' which. uh. yeah. cool. thanks.#thats like prefacing an apology with 'first of all i still blame you but i guess i couuuldve had something to do with it'#and like. sheesh. my first instinct is to politely say absolutely not jesus christ how do you have the gall to ask me that#i could go my entire life without interacting with you ever again and i would be nothing but better off for it#but. i have not sent that yet. and it has been a while. because i really miss the friend group she....not stole exactly but#because i do not want to be in the same space as her i just. dont get to be around them much any more.#and fuck. i miss my dog so so much. i love lucas too but sarah was the first dog i raised from a baby#and she was just one of those animals that are just. like you love them all but some are different in a way where they're a part of you.#and sarah was mine and she took her from me and ive just barely gotten over it#i dont know if being able to see her again would make it worse or better.#but instinct is telling me to tell her that no theres no chance of us being friends. i need to protect myself and value my own wellbeing.#and that its not that i hate her because i dont but i do intensely dislike the ugly person i realized shes become#and i refuse to continue to let myself be hurt by that without speaking up.#but i still!!! havent!!! said no!!!!!#if i could manage it. and get through a talk with her. and be very clear that im here to attempty just...neutrality and a lack of hostility#and that friendship is not on the table. prep myself on my boundaries and rules for what i will not put up with#and accept that if she does something shitty in response to me keeping myself safe then i have to be prepared to call it off immediately#then. i would see my friends again a lot more often than just one on one every couple months because every group thing involves her#fuck. i dont know. i really really dont want to talk to her ever again but god fucking dammit.#im prepared to move on and rebuild my life and invest in other relationships. i am. ive done it before and slowly built from the ground up.#i can do it again. but it fucking sucks when its most of my irl friends all at once.#idk. idk. i miss my dog so much it hurts but it would be much worse to see her now after how my ex treats her when im not there to stop it#its just something i cant let myself think about or ill just spiral and i cant do that. theres nothing i can do about it. i cant stop it.#fuck.
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culmaer · 7 months
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