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Light My Fire (Again) | beau arlen

Summary: “I thought I’d swore off love, Jenny.” I smiled, chuckling a bit as I looked down to my feet then back up the skies, taking in the twinkling lights. “God, I really thought I did, and I was doing such a good job at it too. But, well, I just… I couldn’t help it.” I wet my lips slightly, biting the bottom one. “It’s improper, but it’s true.”

SERIES MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

(divider credits go to @cafekitsune)

A/N - Inspired by Take Me Home by @zepskies

nine - sweet girl

NOW:

Soft, plush lips. Strong hands. Low groans.

Paperwork. So much… paperwork.

My pen lay forgotten on the desk, the door to his office closed and blinds drawn while Beau’s lips took my own hostage, staking his claim over and over again until he was sure that they were swollen and his, and he definitely wasn’t stopping after that, not when I was sitting on his lap with the danger of someone walking in. His calloused hand twisted strands of my hair around his fingers, his wrist adorned with an array of hair ties that he’d pulled from my braids every time he saw my hair done up in one.

“Gotta respect the shampoo and conditioner, darlin’, they’ve done work to make you look this gorgeous.” He’d rumble before nuzzling his nose against mine and capturing my lips in a sweet yet burning kiss.

His other hand rucked up the soft material of my Henley, pulling me back to the present but high up into the clouds of nine and possibly ten as his knee found its way between my legs, nudging them apart as he let out a low groan of pleasure at my fingers tugging on his silky hair.

But it wasn’t to get a sound out of him. As much as I loved his lips and the things they could do and the sinful sounds that came out of them, we had work.

“Beau.” I murmured against his lips, which chased mine at every opportunity.

“Mnh-mnh.” He hummed back as the pads of his fingers pressed into my side, his tongue teasing my bottom lip in a way that made me shiver.

Stay strong, Joyner. You haven’t caved to bullets. Don’t cave to a pair of lips-

He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my pulse point.

Damn, they’re a weapon of mass destruction.

I cleared my throat, biting back a sigh as I lifted his head, making him meet green eyes with mine. “Paperwork.”

The word made him grunt softly in protest, his head jerking slightly to the side. “C’mon, I just got your gorgeous ass alone.” As if to punctuate his point, he squeezed it playfully. “Liv’s with Denise, it’s just us. We can have some fun, a lil’ somethin’-somethin’.”

“Here.” I chuckled, shaking my head slightly. “In your office. With the risk of someone walking in on us?”

Beau let out an indignant snort, giving me some puppy eyes. “I’m the damn sheriff. What’re they gonna do, hm? Look, darlin’, I’m willing to get on with all this hooey, but only if you let me hit that later.”

“Oh, fine.” I rolled my eyes with a small giggle, before I handed back his pen and picked up mine, beginning to fill out the form. “Y’know, I was thinking… I think it’s time that we tell Carla, Em and Liv. About, well, us.”

“If you’re comfortable with it, sure, we can slam the gas on it.” He hummed in agreement, his free hand rubbing soothing circles on my stomach from underneath my Henley. “But if I’m bein’ honest? I think Em an’ Carla already know. Those two don’t miss a thing. Y’know, there was this one time, I was on my way to the bar to have a drink with my old team. Those two clocked me the moment they saw me. Told me I had my party hat on.”

“Your party hat’s pretty peacock-esque, hon.” I smiled, nudging his foot with my own.

“Peacock-eque?” He repeated with a low rumble of a laugh. “That one’s new. Very new. Anyway, Em, she loves you like anythin’. And Carla, she’s been giving me more cheery smiles, like a lil’ ray of sunshine.” He leaned in and pressed a light kiss to my cheek. “I’m presuming that she’s clocked us and she’s happy.”

“But, just to be safe-”

“I can break the news tonight, no problem.” Beau nodded, patting my stomach. He was full of these little assuring touches and kisses, almost if he was assuring himself that this was real.

I was still unsure of it myself.

“But I’m kinda thinking about what Liv will think.” He continued, his breath against my ear. “Her auntie, with a new guy, it’ll be a bit odd, dontcha think?”

“Liv’s a sweet girl.” I shrugged, looking back at him with a small smile. “And after that whole situation where you took care of her while my ass was getting beat? That earned some brownie points.”

“While I appreciated the boost in my XP, I still wanna kill those bastards for what they did to your pretty face.” He brushed some hair out of my eyes with a gentle look in his own. “Or at least give ‘em a lifer. I’m still a law-abiding sheriff, even if I wanna tear them apart, limb by limb, rip their hearts out, stomp on them and not give those guys a proper funeral beyond torching what’s left of them.”

“You sound like such a law abiding sheriff right now.” I drawled sarcastically, a small chuckle leaving my mouth.

Beau nodded, playing along with a throaty laugh. “Yeah, right? Totally innocent.”

“Totally.” I giggled, then leaned forward and kissed him. The purpose was for it to be short and sweet, but Beau couldn’t have that and held it for a bit longer, the pad of his thumb pressing into a spot on my neck in a way that he knew would make me let out a sound into his mouth, which he took in stride. But then my phone rang, which had him pulling away with a roll of his eyes.

“Awh, c’mon, damn phone.” He grumbled, but when I pecked his lips again, he seemed placated. I looked at who was calling me, finding that it was Cassie.

“Sorry, hon.” I sighed, picking up the call and not noticing that I sounded a little breathless. “Hey, Cass. What’s up?”

‘Hey, uh-’ I heard a pause on the other end, followed by a laugh, ‘am I interrupting something?’

“What?! No.” I scoffed, but she picked up on it immediately, snickering.

‘Oh, yeah, I did. Tell Beau I said hi, and no, I’m not telling Jenny.’

“Thanks, Cass.” I turned to Beau, putting Cassie on speaker. “Cassie says hi.”

“Hey, there, Boots.” Beau replied warmly, chuckling.

‘Hey. Anyway, you said that Liv told you she was with Denise.’ Cassie sounded concerned and slightly annoyed, which had Beau and I sharing a look.

“She did, yeah.” I nodded, pouting in thought. “Why?”

‘She’s… not.’ I perked up, my eyebrow raising. ‘She’s with Tom.’

I gasped, outrage filling me. How dare she? Do I even know my own niece anymore? “She’s what?!”

‘I’m as surprised as you are. Just wanted to let you know. They’re in that cafe Tom works at. And they’re pretty cozy.’

My face set, and I let out a huff of breath, rubbing a hand over my face. “Thanks, Cass. I’ll talk to her. Bye.”

‘No problem. Bye.’

I cut the call, and Beau’s hand squeezed my shoulder, sensing my irritation. “Can you be there?” I asked quietly. “I need something to stop me from yelling.”

“Course, darlin’.” He rumbled, kissing my temple. “I can be there.”

Olivia had a big smile on her face as she came home, and it almost broke my heart to know that I had to ruin her fun. But she defied my direct order, and I wanted to know why my baby girl did it. I wasn’t mad, just disappointed.

“Hey, aunt Isa.” She smiled docilely, and it almost made me believe she was innocent. Then her eyes flitted to Beau, and she seemed sort of… I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Hey, Beau.”

“Sugar.” Beau replied curtly, then nodded to me. “Go ‘head, darlin’.”

“Olivia Barlowe, do you wanna tell me exactly why you were spotted today with Tom?” I frowned, folding my arms. “When I explicitly told you not to?”

The question stopped her in her tracks, and she swallowed heavily. “Aunt Isa-”

“Save it.” My fingers drummed on the table, my eyes boring into hers as I fought back the urge to yell, anger only quenched by Beau’s hand on my back rubbing soothing circles. Trying to keep me grounded and miserably failing, though I’d never say that to Beau. Not when he was trying so hard to be an uncle to Olivia and a boyfriend to me despite my growing distance from him due to the case. “Someone found you in a restaurant with Tom, I only wanna hear an explanation, no ‘aunt Isa’s and flat out excuses.”

“I’m not the only one who has to explain themselves.” Olivia scoffed lightly, which had me raising an eyebrow. “You’d rather make out with your boss than spend some time with me-”

“OLIVIA!” My fist came down on the slab, making a thudding sound and startling her. The first time I’d yelled at her; the first time I’d lost control, and it didn’t feel great, but I couldn’t stop shouting. I couldn’t stop taking all of my frustrations out in this moment. “Do you have a goddamn right to talk to me like that?! Do you? Huh? Cause the way I see it, I’ve taken care of you since you were nine, and not to be that caretaker, but I will be- is this how you repay me?”

Damn. Damn, what was I doing?

Olivia remained silent while I continued, words - vexated, irate words - spilled from my mouth. “You weren’t meant to step near Tom, not with a ten foot pole. Not after his adopted father tried to force himself on me. I don’t care whether he’s adopted or not, he’s still Harry’s son. His family, and I don’t want you near that. I can let you near Rhea, she understood the situation, but Tom I can’t control. I thought your father was meant to explain that to you.” I swept my hand over my mouth, clearing my throat and lowering my voice. “It’s for your benefit.”

Olivia looked pale, horrified and confused- as if she had no previous idea of what I’d told her before she ran to her room, but I made no move to stop her.

She needed that space.

Even if her confused expression irked my gut.

“That was the first time I’ve yelled at her.” I whispered, and Beau drew me into his arms, rocking me from side to side with comforting kisses to where he could reach.

“You’re doin’ what you can, Belle.” He murmured, tilting my face up to kiss my lips briefly. “And you can love who you wanna. You’ve had a rough go of it, and you deserve that luxury, eh?”

I nodded against his chest, hearing his heartbeat and somehow feeling at peace. A small smile stretched on my lips, finally home. Home in Beau’s arms, after so long of struggling, giving up and struggling again. At least something made me happy.

Something made all this worth it.

“Alright, we’ve tried a lot of passcodes so far, and there was no incriminating non-witness-based evidence against Mark Leeds, so we had to let him go.” Mo announced, which had Jenny, Cassie, Beau and I groaning and rubbing our faces.

“At this point, it’ll take weeks before we crack the passcode.” Jenny sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. I stared off into space, feeling like I’d failed Lucy. Otherwise I’d have put my brain into use and cracked this whole shebang. Yet I hadn’t, so I’d also failed my badge.

Tackling a gang member and having my wound split open was for nothing.

That hit and run six years ago was for nothing.

Sacrificing my relationship with Olivia was for nothing.

All of it… amounted to nothing.

I was having the worst kind of tears. The ones that burned your eyes and felt like they were there but weren’t. And you’d silently struggle, while the others around you didn’t feel half your pain. That was the kind I was having.

I let out a sharp breath, standing up and dusting off my hands. “Ah, well, I guess I’ll send Mark off. Offer an apology for being so damn rude in the interrogation room.”

“Sure you don’t want someone to come with you?” Beau asked, taking my hand and rubbing his thumb over my knuckles before kissing it.

“I’m fine.”

“Guys, you’re making me feel single.” Jenny giggled, giving us both an amused look that had me running the hand that Beau had held through my hair.

“Jesus, I have a boyfriend and even he’s not as affectionate.” Cassie snorted, referencing Cormac. I’d retaliate by referencing the office make out session, but then she’d expose mine and I didn’t want that, so I just responded with a bashful smile and an exiting of the room, briskly strolling over to where Mark’s handcuffs were being unlocked, what was once stubble now slightly beard-ish, but he couldn’t pull it off. Beau probably could. Then again, I might be biased.

“Markham.” I sighed, not knowing how to take this situation. With relief since it was most likely that he wasn’t Lucy’s killer as there was no evidence, or horrified that he was incredibly good at hiding evidence.

“Isabelle.” He replied with equally of an exhausted tone, but he did something that confused me immensely. He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it with a smile. “You find her killer. I miss my Luce, and if anyone’s gonna find that bastard, it’s Elle Joyner.”

I nodded, swallowing thickly. “Y-Yeah. I’ll try.” Then Mark walked out, and even though he had faith in me, I didn’t.

Hell, how could I have faith in me when all I’ve drawn is blanks?

I was working late hours at the station, putting in all the possible combinations of a six digit number one after one just to keep the work going and reach a conclusion faster because goddamn I needed a win. Olivia was with Dean in my house for the night, and I trusted her with him.

“134768,” I muttered, rattling off more numbers and crossing them off on the big-ass sheet.

“M’going home, Deputy Joyner.” One of the other deputies announced, which almost broke my resolve and had me up, leaving and never coming back cause I was going insane.

“Night, Deputy Yates.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes before continuing with the input of numbers.

On and on.

Never ending.

Goddamn, I hated this. Really hated this.

I had the fiftieth sip of coffee, letting the hot liquid rejuvenate my words and somehow my brain cells as I glanced at the time. 9:57pm.

Wait. I sat up in my seat. I’ve got it.

I remembered the tattoo Lucy had on her wrist. It was right there- how did I not see the connection before? I waited for the lock screen to stop telling me to ‘wait a minute’ because there were too many password tries and then entered the code.

0-4-5-1-1-4

Phone Unlocked.

I let out a breath of relief, running a hand through my hair as I went through Lucy’s camera roll first in case she’d gotten a video of the killer the night she died. But there was just one video, that wasn’t of the night she died. She was teaching Olivia a code.

‘It’s my favourite way to code messages. Simple and easy to decipher.’ Lucy smiled in the video, kissing Olivia’s hair, then turned to the camera. ‘I hope you’re getting this, Elle.’

‘I’m getting it!’ My indignant voice came from behind the camera and a piece of me melted. I was there that day.

‘Ok, so you write out the alphabet. Then you write down the numbers from one to twenty six under the alphabet, because that’s how many letters there are. So ‘a’ would be one and ‘z’ would be twenty six. Let’s spell out our names in this code. Y’know, I sometimes talk to your auntie in this code.’

There was an indignant scoff from behind the camera. ‘No you don’t-’

‘Shh, keep the magic.’ Lucy put a finger to her lips, but I instantly knew what she meant. This was a week before she died.

I wrote out the code 045114 on a piece of paper. Then I matched the letter to the number, and instantly my pen dropped, eyes widened and all the breath left my lungs.

D-E-A-N.

Dean.

Dean Barlowe.

I grabbed my keys and my jacket, putting it on and sprinting to my car, dialling Olivia with shaky fingers as I started the car and drove at the speed limit to my house, getting nothing but voicemail. I slammed the wheel, letting out a strangled cry before quickly shooting a voicemail to Beau, Jenny and Cassie.

“They brought my baby into this.” I whispered, feeling ready to break down. They brought Olivia into this. “This is my fight.” Why did they need to touch her? “Why’d they bring my baby girl in the middle of all this crap?” I quickly pulled up at my house, sprinting up the steps to find a wide open door, my blood running cold as I pulled out my gun.

Beau, Jenny and Cassie arrived, also armed with guns that they flicked the safety off of and put up just as Beau gestured for me to take the lead.

“Sheriff’s Department!” I yelled, stalking inside, but when I found a house that was empty with signs of a struggle, chairs overturned and the kitchen counter splattered with blood, my knees buckled, drums playing at fortissimo in my head as my gun clattered to the floor as well, my hands raising to grip my head right as Beau knelt beside me, drawing me into his chest as I drew rasping breaths.

Hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

“We’ll find her.” He assured, trying desperately to wipe away my tears, but they kept on coming.

“My baby.” I sobbed, the sound racking, gut-wrenching, making my throat hoarse but I didn’t give a damn.

Jenny and Cassie came from sweeping the house, the former giving me news I didn’t want to hear. “She’s not here.”

“MY BABY!”

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