#they were gentle about it
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// mun vent in tags
#ooc#anxiety fucking sucks#i made two big social mistakes within like 20 minutes of each other#now I'm freaking out#I'm autistic this stuff happens sometimes cuz i genuinely can't always tell when I'm being rude#but I've developed SUCH a careful and cautious personality to PREVENT this shit from happening#and when it does happen?#it makes me feel awful#I'm freaking the fuck out#no one is upset at me#they were gentle about it#but i still feel like the world is ending
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ue ue ue...
open for better quality | no reposts
#neuvillette#genshin impact#genshin#fanart#myart#doodle#i took this screenshot earlier and wanted to doodle a little smth#i'm in a bit of art block rn but the neuvillette brainrot is strong#getting to know neuvillette was like. i've never been so glad to be wrong about a character#he is so gentle.. and he bears so much on his own#and i am zooming in so hard on whatever he's got going on w/ the thigh-high boot covers he's wearing--#anyway. archon quests were great#i loved getting to take an active part and the plot really reminded me of k.dramas i've watched#just finished the two multiple part world quests too and i'm looking forward to learning more about the lore!!
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Pietà
#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#spoilers#Did it some time ago while reading trimax and didn't post it because I'm an idiot and forgot about it????#sooooo i'm posting it now because i miss stampede saturdays already MY GOD#anyway i had to cope with Wolfwood death in some ways since it ripped my fucking heart in the most cruel way#jesus... the way he screams and cries because HE'S HOME and then he dies with a gentle smile on his face#the way vash seems to mourn in silence and mantaining his composure#only to discover later that he actually had shortened his lifespan in a moment of pure grief and rage against knives arc#fucking poetic#i hate them so much i wish they had more time i wish they were happy they fucking deserved it fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#anyway iconographic religion imagery be upon ye i guess#oooooh there are so many christian paintings and sculptures to homosexualize :3c#chronart
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Thaniel was my friend also. I played with him, grew up while he stayed the same. He made me who I am today, and then he was ripped away from me, same as for you. But you need not be alone any longer. You need not invent friends. Thaniel is back. He is waiting for you.
#hey please throw me off a bridge thx#Baldur's Gate 3#BG3#bg3edit#gamingedit#bg3 spoilers#videogameedit#Halsin#otheredits#my stuff#halsin gentle parenting king tbh#i know your pain...i truly do#can we talk about how halsin is in tears this entire scene because we should talk about that - that last part especially#but damn if i were a more talented artist...that dark empty lonely has a lot of potential#also also can i get a 'words halsin would have likely really liked to hear' for 1000 alex?#because the loneliest people are always the ones who are most staunchly against anyone else being lonely#if only to avoid how they've felt because they know how terrible it really is#idc how many times i play through this - halsin always gets to talk here - it's been a century and he deserves it
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I went to a local yarn store for the first time, and while I was there, somebody was talking about getting a beginner's knitting kit, and she inquired about when lessons were, and when she was told that they'd be happy to sit down with her and teach her, she was so delighted. She talked about how excited she was and how much she wanted to learn to knit, and it just... it made me fall in love with humanity. It was this pure, unadulterated happiness coming from somebody and it was so genuine and kind, and I couldn't help but smile.
I guess all of this is to say... every moment, there are tiny little joys like this all over the world, and it makes this life worth living. I hope you witness and feel joy this simple, this pure.
#positivity#and she was older too! it made me really happy because it just reminds me that there is no such thing as 'too old'#you will never be too old to learn something - to feel that level of happiness and excitement#if i think about this too hard i'm going to start crying#and the yarn store has this really hip name and all the patrons there were older women and i thought that was cute and funny#i felt so odd being the only young person there though but i know that's just my own insecurity and not how they'd feel#i find older people absolutely LOVE when young people share their interests. i think old people get... used to feeling out of touch...#...and almost... neglected in a way by younger adults. it's hard to describe but i sense some loneliness in some old people y'know?#and when i share their interests... maybe it's like they feel young again - seen by somebody else?#that's my assumption anyway. but i like being around old people - they can absolutely be kind and gentle and i appreciate it
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I think nobody talks enough about how each of the sannin all have such glorious hair. all three of them have such long and luscious hair. i bet they traded hair routines and created their own hair formulas. I mean a jutsu like jiraiya's surely requires special shampoo. and just look at how shiny oro's hair is, it wouldn't be out of place in a pantene commercial. and tsunade, as vain as she is, most definitely has a whole ass routine too. hell, looking at hashirama's hair, I bet there's a secret senju haircare routine, passed down through generations. that's their real kekkei genkai. the legendary sannin, more like the legendary luscious locks.
#i just feel so strongly about their hair#i bet when they were younger theyd braid each other's hair in a train#team bonding#fuck it they involved hiruzen too#i bet tsunade is the ONLY person who orochimaru allows to touch his hair#alternatively#tsunade being as boyish and spoilt as she is wouldve SUCKED with hair and been way too rough and not have the patience for it#and jiraiya where hair is a part of his jutsu would have been the best at taking care of it cause he depends on his hair being healthy#so maybe jiraiya was the one who was best at doing hair and absolutely the most gentle on account of it actually being something he NEEDS#and so he is unofficially the assigned person who combs detangles braids or styles their hair whenever the need arises#idk ive never seen anyone mention how all the sannin have long hair and it's actually a very distinct character trait for each of them#sannin#tsunade#jiraiya#orochimaru#half joke#not really#hc
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Hewoo I will disappear after this post byeeee
#If have writing abilities I would do so many fanfic about honey but I don’t#so here some doodles#fnaf oc#fnaf sundrop#sundrop#sundrop x y/n#fnaf y/n#if honey were human he would be 23 years old#honey has a gentle/ charm/ calm voice#honey is same height as sun/moon but looking taller because his ears#the first encounter he had with y/n was when reader accidentally turn on the box where he was resting
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Jesper: Anyone else still traumatised from doing maths homework at the kitchen table with their parents?
Jesper: My Da flicked me on the forehead once cause he was so frustrated. He is the least violent person I know but he was sooo mad at me
Wylan: My Father used to hit me with the textbook like it was going to transfer into my head 😅
#it was all in good nature till wylan spoke then it was oh no#i think were all traumatised from maths at the kitchen table 😂😂#this is one of the ‘silly little stories’ that everyone else is like 😧😧 about#colms head flick was the most gentle flick in the world#wylan had a concussion#poor wy Im so mean to him#hes just a little guy#soc#soc incorrect quotes#wylan van eck#jesper fahey#tw: child abuse
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one.
wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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more Crystal Clay AU (au by the fantastic @warning-heckmouth) thoughts once again cause my brainworms wont stop just listen hear me out-
Clay's smart as hell, he basically forced himself to be a nerd post-band breakup so like...picture with me,,,Clay pitting Velvet and Veneer against each other,,,straining their relationship by just sewing those liiiiil seeds of doubt anytime they're alone with him,,,,or just bringing up "totally real" things they said to make em look like liars
after all. hes the fun one. the dumb silly fun one! Who's gonna think he's got the capacity to lie?
im just sayin Clay's gotta have a mean streak somewhere in that heart of his that "Hm. John" that MEANT SOMETHING-
#masky says#trolls dreamworks#crystal clay au#trolls clay#clay trolls#listen okay listen i just think he could be mean and evil back at the already mean and evil twins#the vibe of the brothers getting captured and the show happening-#-and velvet and veneer are just at each others throats for the spotlight they think the others trying to steal like listen#LISTEN I HAVE A VISION I HAVE THOUGHTS THEY MAKE SENSE TO ME#clay literally making it so they're the reason for their own downfall#not by Floyd's gentle reminders that veneer can be better#but by just pitting them against each other till they were willing to burn the other to the GROUND to win#floyd had his strategy clay has his lets all be respectful of that :)#hes so gentle with veneer agreeing with his plights and gently mentioning how its so strange velvet never agrees with his FANTASTIC ideas#while with velvet he's not dumb he knows she's good at her shit#so he works WITH her shit. he pretends to fall for her sobstories n such and talks about how veneer always said she was just so cold#that she could NEVER show so much emotion!#its those lil seeds of doubt yknow?
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When watching, it’s hard not to feel like you capture intricacies and truths about gender and sexuality in a way a cisgender director wouldn’t or couldn’t. How did your own experience inform the filmmaking here?
You don’t understand how fucking painful it was to get this made and how long, and to hear you say this is so validating. It was a seven-year journey to get to set. I transitioned throughout the making of this movie. I was so desperate to get it made because I thought it would be an answer to me continuing to pretend and avoid the truth of who I am. There was a moment that I realized that the thing that was holding me back was that very thing of, “Oh, shit, we have so many false starts around this.” The universe was waiting for me to walk through my truth, so I could be ready to tell this story. If you look at my work prior, it’s so angry. It’s so violent. This story required a gentle lens rooted in nothing but love. Had I not gone through the same journey that Ari goes through in the book and in the movie, I wouldn’t have been able to lens this the way that it is now.
And for you to recognize that… (Pauses.) It would have been impossible because my perspective of the world hadn’t been opened up until I was ready to walk through my truth. That’s a fact. That’s why it fucking took so long. My producer [Valerie Stadler] who saw me, who was with me, at first she was like, “You’re not ready to direct this,” and I was like, “What do you mean I’m not fucking ready to direct this? I’m ready to direct it.” And when I made that decision, she said, “OK, now you’re ready.” I think she saw something in me that I hadn’t seen in myself. This will forever be the most pure, personal experience of my life for all of those reasons. It stood by me, and it mirrored my trajectory as a creative and, honestly, as a human being. So yeah, I agree with you. I don’t think that a cisgender person would have been able to capture the nuances the way that I did.
Understanding a deep longing to be close to someone of the same gender in a world that doesn’t model what that looks like can be difficult because you don’t have the language or feel safe to name it. Can you talk about your approach to portraying that?
I have this very important mission to refuse to other myself and to other the stories that I’m involved in, and to other the characters that I bring to life. That is very important to me. At the root of this, Ari never claims his sexuality, but he claims his love for Dante. That was what was most important for me. How does love transcend in a way that we don’t need to explain it, but we can see how painful it is when the world around you tells you that you’re wrong for who you are, for how you feel, where you don’t find yourself or see yourself in something else?
It took me 34 years to transition. I thought about my identity, my gender, every single day for those 34 years. But I grew up in a culture and a society that told me I was wrong for feeling that. I want people to watch this and be assured that they’re OK for feeling the way that they feel. It’s possible to love gently and without question. Sometimes you do need someone to give you permission to do that. That’s what this story is. It’s hopefully giving permission for people to see themselves as not an “other,” but as an expansive human that’s possible at anything when you choose love over fear. Fear is rooted in shame, which is what held me back.
#AITCH ALBERTO I’M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN FOR YOUR MOVIE TO SUCCEED. I THINK IT’S SO SO CUTE THAT YOU JUST SENT SAENZ A SCRIPT AND GOT IT#MADE. I’M GLAD YOU WERE SO MOVED AND YOU GAVE THE ART YOUR OWN INFLECTION OF CARE AND GENTLENESS#anyway. sorry I know I’m going a little crazy about this but dear god. DEAR GOD! wow.#aristotle and dante movie
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Nothing’s gonna change my world
#the lord of gentle swords#auroras cover says I am gonna change my world but#I kept hearing it as are you gonna save my world#anyway#darenyaaaaaa#thinking about that time I asked an old friend what the patterns on paisley meant#and she explained that they were mangoes
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my timephoon hot take is that the episode was literally fine, it's the episodes that came AFTER it that fucked things up
#the final confrontation where louie and della say that shit to eachother? peak televesion#the next episodes shouldve. yk. resolved that#but by having the premise be “the entire family is goign to disneyland and leaving louie behind” uh...?#i get what they were going for but they fumbled so hard#timephoon introduces a lot of conflicts that the next episodes SHOULD have resolved#but they didn't. at least not well#like della and louie should've had a proper conversation#and also i dont think della was wrong for steppin in at the end of timephoon like that was warranted#her wording and execution? far from perfect#but she's trying#also. timphoon was fine yes but it could have been way better still#i would have preffered it if they went more in depth about the struggles of motherhood and how beakley and della both felt about it#give me beakley being vulnerable and opening up about how hard its been raising webby alone and how she GETS it#she gets not knowing what to do#she was a spy#she has no idea how to be soft and motherly but she's learned and she's trying and she did it alone#and she doesn't want della to be as alone as she was so she tries to help#but she's a certified grizzled ex spy so fuck if she knows how to be gentle about it#so it just makes della MORE insecur because beakley seems to have it all together#and i wish there was a scene where they could talk to eachother and beakley could admit that she doesn't#she's made mistakes she's fucked up but she's trying and aren't they all?#but yeah. for what timephoon was#it wasn't bad#but the following episodes fumbled#i forget if it was in timephoon or next erpisode were we got della telling louie to shape up or he couldn't be part of the family#like again that was BAD! BUT#it wuld have worked if the show adressed and had her learn from it#and showed that it wasnt out of malice its because she was doing her best!#but they didn't#they were...weird with it
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It is okay if you can never forgive somebody who has harmed or abused you. You don't have to forgive them, but you deserve to find peace in other ways. If you can't forgive or forget, then do things for your sake. Find what fulfills you, if to make it easier for yourself. That is okay. Forgiveness isn't forgiveness if it is demanded or expected, and it isn't fair for you
#gentle reminders#abuse#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i'm pretty sure i've made a post like this but like so many other posts i think this is important#i will never forgive my abusers and that doesn't make me bad or AT ALL 'like them' <3#and it's quite evil to MAKE victim/survivors forgive the people who harm them because it 'makes them better'#forgiveness isn't a moral high ground and it doesn't 'make you move on'#you don't even have to forgive others for your own sake if it's not going to ultimately help you#forgiveness should come from /you/ because YOU want that#and if you can't get to that point then please find something else to help you <3#i'm healing through investing in ME. i don't give a rat's ass about how my abusers feel frankly. they were monsters to me#and i don't have to forgive any of that. and the same goes for you#people like to think that forgiving something like abuse is akin to forgoving somebody for eating the last klondike bar...#...because they do not/cannot/don't want to consider that it's SO much deeper than 'they did small bad thing to me :('...#...so that minimalization makes it easier to blame victim/survivors for the crime of 'not forgiving'
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From a narrative perspective I really prefer to believe that everything Deacon tells you in his final affinity talk is true, because 1. Even though he cares about the rest of the Railroad, it’s clear you’re the only person he’s gotten close to in a long time, and 2. It’s as real as he ever gets with you in-game, showing an unprecedented amount of trust (and causing you to question just how much of an act he’s putting on before and henceforth). But I’m newly charmed by the idea that every part of his story was true… except his wife just isn’t dead.
Yeah she’s totally fine. They found out she was a synth 15-16 years ago, and it was pretty traumatic but they’re all good now. He took out the UP Deathclaws, not out of vengeance, but just because they were too much of a threat to leave alone. The Railroad got the wrong idea and Deacon just went with it. Even if someone’s trustworthy, the Institute has ways of getting information from people, so it’s just better to act like she doesn’t exist, y’know? They miss each other, but she knows his work is important, she runs a small farm or business and financially supports him.
Deacon does make a comment about having people to protect after you use his “recall code.” And I think it puts a funny spin on why he’s not romanceable — he’s just Actively In Holy Matrimony.
Maybe just south of the Commonwealth, there’s a nice farmgirl with suspiciously lasting youth, whose neighbors gossip about how often she swaps out her lovers (who, come to think of it, all share the same height, build, and penchant for shades…). And I don’t know her name, but I can tell you it probably isn’t Barbara.
#if you take him someplace beautiful he’ll sometimes say ‘she would’ve liked this’ and his voice is so gentle aah#i know this theory is ridiculous but it’s a nice and somewhat plausible au#it diminishes his relationship with the player character somewhat. but you have like 11 other friends.#fallout 4#fallout#fo4#deacon fallout#deacon fallout 4#deacon fo4#nothing wrong with the name barbara#he would just definitely lie about that if she were alive#fallout 4 spoilers
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anyone else thinkin about the weird things theyd want if they won the lottery
#like beyond all the necessary life things. today im thinking about becoming one of those people that breeds and raises fancy koi fish#i lived in a (rented) house that had a koi pond once. they would come up and eat out of your hand if you were gentle. like lil puppies#it would be fun#she speaks#i think it would have an area where i could look in from the side. like an aquarium. and then the slope up to the top of the water#would be hard to clean though
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