#they don’t want you to be awake
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0k4y who tf needs drugs when there’s dreaming aft3r taking haritaki
i swear i only took 1/4th teaspoon in water last night and my dreams…. dude like i can’t tell if it’s a dream or reality while im dreaming i only realize it when i open my eyes and im in my room but it’s not nightmares it’s just like being so fucking present in my dreams
the only thing that’s scary is just how much i couldn’t tell if i was dreaming like in one dream i kept telling people i cant tell if this is real or a dream i think i need to go to a psych ward or call my mom she’ll understand she knows i’m doing my best to be sober and i started this new obscure supplement like it was literally me so deep in that dream it was scaring me
im g0ing to work on being able to know and then i can lucid dream…
it was so vivid and clear and felt so fucking real and the dreams last so long
and i feel like i can see clearer and my colors R brighter and i feel like i have energy irl
i went thru an addiction to psychedelics and have taken anti depressants and anti psychotics and adderall just plain fuck shit, so now im working 0n detoxing my third eye and this HITS
#haritaki#third eye#healing herbs#963 hz#trippy#decalcify your pineal gland#they don’t want you to be awake#open your third eye#intuition
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We can’t sleep so getting a very early head start on Polar Bear Sunday
#Polar bear sunday#when the sloop eledes us#(if you know you know)#pray that the team can fall back asleep#Because we really really don’t want to be awake for good right now
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He’s so Christian rock
#forget it eggman. I’ll defeat you with the power of Christ#these chaos emeralds really remind me of god and how he helped me find myself#unlike you sonic#I’m not an athiest anymore#shadow the hedgehog#christian rock#sonic the hedgehog#meme#when dreaming I’m guided to another world#time and time again#sing it tails#at sunrise I fight to stay asleep#cause I don’t want to leave the comfort of this place#I love creed#cause there’s a hunger. a longing to escape#from the life I live when I’m awake#flyleaf#creed
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scarian sloppy style
#i keep mumbling this to myself#what does it mean ? whatever you want it to#forcing myself to stay awake for no reason rn#kind of just don’t want the day over yet . thinking abt them . they are fleas to me
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me when i have the same little daydream all the time and i just wish it would be real ☹️☹️
#🌀#my demolition lover <3#something something lying in bed next to each other barely being able to stay awake but we don’t want to stop talking so we’re just lying#there together peacefully#and eventually we fall asleep cradling each other and it’s so peaceful#fuhk you im touch starved let me live#mlm yearning#alterous yearning#achillean#mlm#mlm thoughts#gay yearning
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so I’m realising my intense anxiety for Hilda’s third season to come out is PROBABLY an autism thing
#like. it’s been 2 years of it being the same#the fandoms been in the same place and the show has too#and now it’s gonna change and it is giving me so much anxiety#when the special interest is so intense that you feel physically ill at the thought of new content because it’s just so overwhelming#<- that’s not my usual exaggerated ‘I’m so unwell’ thing either like I have layed awake at night feeling#sick LMAO#bc of s3#which is so frustrating because I’m excited! I love this show! I want more!#but because it’s so important to me. new content is going to have a big effect on me#and I don’t want it too cries#does that make sense? no? sick#it’s either an autism thing or there’s just something wrong with me either way I’d like this feeling to go away please it isn’t fun#hilda#textpost#it’s like I just want it to come out already so I can watch it and know what’s happening cause I hate not knowing what’s going on#i need to have. my information organised#and rn I don’t#and that makes me rlly anxious lolz#like I’m anxious for season 3 in a good excited way#but also in a geniunley bad way#I wish my brain was. normal lo#l#this got more venty than I meant it to sorryblads#might delete later#I’m sad hilda is ending bc it’s over and I don’t want it to be but#also it’s weirdly comforting to know that I don’t have to go through this intense anxiety again#cause I don’t get like this with other fandoms! dr who for example I’m living new content#but for Hilda I geniunkey feel unwell#it’s the same with the idea of there ever being new ducktales content#I care so much that it’s. bad for me lol??
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#couldn’t find a picture post that satisfied me so i’ll just randomly upload this i’ve found on pinterest#i’m too tired for this#my eyes are burning but i don’t know why my dumb ass is trying to stay awake i don’t even want it#can you tell i’m overly tired#i think you can#it’s almost 2am it’s actually super early for me lmao
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pretty pretty please can you talk more about ginger zrise i have a mighty need to know what he’s looking for im trying to make that man a father
LMAO Hi! You know what. I’m always happy to go on a ramble! Sure. Sure. Okay JESUS CHRIST this turned into a monster. Watch me live try and figure this out
What is he looking for? That’s a question I haven’t really considered. I’ll be honest. But you know what I’ll get this version of him more fleshed out.
I see him having some things in common to og Zrise. I think he still likes strong personalities. He is probably not drawn to the stoic or quiet type immediately. As much as he loves his sister he is not a fan of dragging things out of people. I think he still is drawn to those with confidence. But for a different reason and he probably admires a different kind of confidence. I think it’s not envy anymore. It’s appreciation. I think this version of him is much more into people who have a good impact on others. Once again og Zrise was very envious of that but now it’s admiration. I think he still likes a chase but no longer a fight (to get affection that is) LMAO
I think this version of him is the type to passively admire a lot of people. But he’s a little hesitant about love or getting too close. He can certainly flirt and tease in a playful manner. But once things seem to cross into moving towards more intimate / romantic / sexual I see him kind of sheepishly backing off. Very ‘hah well you called my bluff and I can’t ante up’
I imagine because no Calistrian clergy, no training, no sex work, he’s very different in that department. I think he probably has some experience but not much. I don’t think he’s ever been in love before.
In my mind I think he’d easily make casual acquaintances. Harder for him to have long term friends. Not super intentional on his part. But it’s half not wanting to hurt people when he has to go wander. But also I think he’s sheepish about someone who looks at him with a deeply curious eye. I also still see him as the type to not really be locked down. Still working and traveling a lot. Just now with completely different intentions.
I see him as hesitate about romantic love because I think he’s actually scared about being drawn in too many directions. He’s worried about loosing focus. Which is funny for someone who worships the goddess of love. In his mind it’s that romantic love ‘eludes’ him. He’s kind of waiting for it to knock him on his ass. Love is something he’s not looking for but when he finds it I image he’ll be a wreck (affectionate).
I think he’s still worried about not being a good choice for someone. But not because he’s self destructive but he’s just a little flighty and finds it hard to open up. Very surface level friendly and kind but a little shy or sheepish. Worrying any feelings he would grown could be a burden to someone. Also he still loves dueling, combat, using his battle prowess to do good. He’s much less blood thirsty, but it means he worries about getting injured or dying and breaking someone’s heart. I think if he did fall in love a lot of these insecurities would fall to the wayside.
This version, unlike his og self, is the sibling that can have children biologically should he choose. The cursed making whoever has it infertile. So his mother is CONSTANTLY trying to set him up with ‘eligible singles’ usually women. Heirs are important to nobles. Though he would reject this. I think he’d really resent the heteronormativity. He’d still be very bisexual but his mother would say things like ‘I thought I was a lesbian and I’m not anymore.’ LMAO
Another reason he’s anxious about falling for someone. Because then he’s gonna have to break it to his mother and sister…
Zrise as a father… this version at least… getting emotional about it… this is hard. This is like so so so far from og Zrise but… it’s just stripping away all the curse and deep deep self loathing. Hmmm I think it wouldn’t be his first instinct to want to be a father. I think he would worry about the kind of parent he’d be. But I think he’d also want to be better than his mother and his father. But once he had a child or heard he was going to have one… I think that baby would have him wrapped around their little finger… and now I’m crying thanks
#ask#anon#oc: zrise#tf: Zrise#twisted fate au#this got my brain spinning and I hope it’s comprehensible in any manner#I love when people ask questions and I just… write paragraphs LMAO#I’m like half awake#but typing this in a fever dream#also who are you#sorry I’m brain dead today#sometimes I get so lost in the sauce I can’t tell if I answered the question#this did make me laugh but also I was like I don’t know how to respond anon#thank you I’m flattered#😳#sometimes I am realizing…#I am too literal#maybe you didn’t want a lore dump AAAAHHH#I’ve been a drawing machine and I think I’m crashing ever so slightly HAHA
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Making out with Renji, Ikkaku, Bazz or Isshin in the middle of the night would be a dangerous game because you woke them up to satisfy your needs 😭❤️💀
I’d put Kenny and Kensei but they would just pull you closer to their chest while they’re asleep lmaoo
#and then you can’t walk the next day or something and they’re all like I WAS SLEEPING SO GOOD UNTIL YOU DECIDED THAT YOU WANTED TO FUCK SOOO#WHO IS TO BLAME HMMM?????#and you’re laying in bed pouting like A CRIPPLED PERSON#you don’t feel bad at all you got what you needed and neither did them LOL#that dick is like CCTV awake all night and day#bleach x reader#isshin kurosaki#renji abarai#ikkaku madarame#bleach imagine#bleach headcanons#bleach x you#bleach imagines#bazz b
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@witch-of-the-world
Here’s what I think the characters from LMK would order
*Mk- Mango dragon fruit, lemonade, peach, with 2 pumps of honey (no inclusions) 7/10
*Mei- Matcha latte with 2 pumps of white mocha, dragonfruit inclusions, with strawberry cold foam
*Redson- Pink drink with two pumps of peppermint, light ice, and cinnamon caramel cold foam
*Wukong- Mango dragon fruit refresher with extra peach, light ice, blended, with vanilla, no inclusions
*Macaque- Mango dragon fruit lemonade, light peach, inclusions, and strawberry purée
Sandy- Regular Medicine ball
*Tang- Apple brown sugar iced latte, oatmilk, chai, and pumpkin spice cold foam with cinnamon on top 10/10
Pigsy- Plain nitro cold brew
*PIF- Peach Lemonade with strawberry purée on top (10/10)
DBK- Mocha latte with oatmilk (hot)
*Mo- Pup cup with cookie bits and caramel drizzle (11/10)
Yin- A mocha cookie crumble frap
Jin- A double java chip creme frap
#ignore that i’m using very specific terms#also. don’t order the weird ones unless you want to make enemies#i labeled the weird ones with ‘*’#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#speck rambles#Tomorrow i’m going to hopefully try Mei’s drink#i don’t really like matcha tho so. let’s see :>!#also. i’m not supposed to be awake so shhhhh#if someone orders these. please let me know what you think.#also. in my head these all are medium sized drinks
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.
#haven’t been awake at this hour in a long time but my period is horrific and keeping me awake and making me think about Things™️#it’s like as i get older it’s like a punishment for things i didn’t do in my life#i wonder if things i have decided against were active choices i’ve made or were just the easy things to accept based on circumstance#wonder about that for a lot of things in my life#i wonder what happens to me as i get older#anyway. i feel the overwhelming and crushing feeling of loneliness tonight and whether or not that’s something i have allowed to happen#and if I’m fine or just good at dealing with it#I don’t know how to talk about these things#i’m surprised i will even post this but i guess i want to be heard in some way. you know. the loneliness lol#anyway! don’t let me post at 3am again thanks!
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i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god
#purrs#but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so#fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done.#like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong#enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long#and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and#consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that#everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered#out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am#forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR#FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY#FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am#the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i#HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help#and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL#delete later
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random reminder that ily all.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[i am a broken record but i thank you all so much for your patience and your kindness about shit. it’s been an age for me to feel#comfortable on the dash again and im getting there. my dumb ass receives a little shot of dopamine anytime someone replies… but Kat. you#have to write replies to receive replies. WELL. IM REMEMBERING THIS FACT. Kat. it’s not that no one wants to interact with you. YOU MUST#INTERACT WITH OTHERS KAT. okay. back to your regularly scheduled programming aka probably me replying to Bucku because trish is awake.#im half over @clawsextended as per because Selina muse don’t quit.]
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I love how everyone in camp, no matter different opinions or difference in stances they have, they all agree on one thing - protect Astarion at all costs.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— musings#[ I have an art saved in my likes of everyone giving him comfort hugs ]#[ and Vamp lad was in her lap and her arm around him and ]#[ you know what. she’d accept this if he needed the hug real badly ]#[ we all protect him ]#[ DONT FORGET !! when the other vamps come to the camp to come after Asta/rion ]#[ Minth wanted to hang the corpses in their camp as a warning to Caz.ador ]#[ don’t fuck with our boy ]#[ I AM AWAKE ]
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#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
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