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#they cant all be No Fun Just Work its sad
ultra-raging-ghost · 12 hours
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I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD
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"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"
"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"
Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad
searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is
Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it
We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.
hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun
Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go
pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go
PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO
Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333
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bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again
pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over
while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO
currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!
gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol
Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today
BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!
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Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33
Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......
We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!
kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!
"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"
We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"
Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3
Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam
Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO
Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3
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urwendii · 11 months
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you can't tell me theres no pubs alley somewhere in Valimar where Maiar go after work, just because they do not need to eat/drink does not mean they can't enjoy happy hours drinks gossiping about work.
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quorras · 6 months
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every time i see someone call tron 'cyberpunk', i lose ten years off my lifespan
#note to self literally never read letterboxd reviews of movies i like i cant do it anymore kdjfgkdssd#say you saw the movie and the plot and visuals went right over your head without saying it#like. in what world is tron dystopic?? cyberpunk in itself is an offshoot of dystopian fiction. tron is not about an imagined future#tron is about an imagined PRESENT. thinking about our PRESENT relationship with technology in relation to the times each film was released#tron is in equal measures hopeful and critical about technology. that is NOT cyberpunk#the only CyberPunk that matters in tron is the Tron2.0 character of the same name#i will admit that tron's plot is cyberpunk derived but its. idk man its not the same thing#thematically its different. visually i think tron shares developmental artists with blade runner where the cyberpunk visual stereotype was#- established#but blade runner is more pure cyberpunk thematically than tron is. does that make any sense#and. and. listen to me. i am number one retrofuture fan. i love syd mead. i love moebius. but listen. just because they worked on tron -#- does NOT mean tron is thematically OR visually retrofuturistic either!! the visuals match the time it was made!! thats not retrofuturism!#thats normal scifi based on the every day!!!#tron is a sandbox and at the end of the day anyone can do whatever they want its all just for fun#at the same time. the entire story of tron is being severely misrepresented when labelled as cyberpunk. and it makes me sad#these are very shallow thoughts i just miss literary thematic analysis sometimes. my film studies classes cannot come soon enough#rex speaks
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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WAILS
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this-should-do · 2 years
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Freeman has neither the time nor the patience to deal with cowards who wont do their job, especially when they stop him from doing his
#gordon freeman#half life#blood tw#idoindeeddraw#oh m y fucking gooood finally its fucking finished#is it my best work? no! do i give a crap? no! done is better than not and this was a good idea so i wanted to finish it#anyways love doing comic based on in game events#like me having a bad day and losing my patience when i couldnt get a guard to do his job so i pushed him down stairs and then#slapped him when he continued not doing his job becuz vr controls are weird and vr lets u have empty hands#anyways inifnitely fond of the face gordon makes right before he slaps this poor guard lol#like please dont make it at me but do it again its a good look#also loving the concept where if this follows the black mesa series of events this guard gets beat to shit by  aalien grunt after gordon#goes thru the door to get chased down by a goliath lol#anywyas please enjoy my desperate effort to finish a project thats been sittin gopen in krita for almost 2 months now lol#going insane with relief#but ye as much fun as makin gordon feel sad and alone and pathetic#it is equally as fun to make him have sum moments of not being a perfect victim son#hes ruthless and sumtimes u gotta be a lil forceful to get to ur goal so u gotta be a lil bad#cant be perfect all da time its just not fun#and its also simply unrealistic for everyone of these cops to be willing to follow everytime cuz like (gestures to real life in frustration)#but yeah angry gordon very good concept#peace out im gonna go eat the freeze dried bananas i promised myself as a reward for finishing this comic lol
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faithisland · 2 months
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fuck man it's so fucking frustrating how I'd probably love to clean and organize if i were ablebodied (or even just didn't have my specific conditions but still the nd traits)
I just can't be moving my head around like crazy. walking while moving my arms, reaching my arms down and immediately up, lowering my head to the ground to reach something and then standing back up, having no momentary neck support at any time, those are the worst for me. I would do any task, honestly. I just feel so fucking trash every time I do these kinds of things. standing is excruciating, moving my arms while doing it literally affects my consciousness to the point where I lose track of what I'm doing (and not in the typical adhd way).
as long as I can stay stationary, particularly partially lounging, I am capable of rational, logical thought. I can think through long term consequences, remember the basic physics of the universe, generally function like I am not an alien to this dimension.
#i literally drop things bc i forget im holdinf them#or i think that idk it wont drop ljke im a fuxking astronaut#i slam into things bc i forget i have a physical form#literally being up and movinf around makes my brain SO dissociated and im SO dizzy and my vision is wonky and i can barely focus on staying#up right#but i can do things like go for walks#its all about how much i move my arms and get up and down#so badically i seem like im faking it🫥#i can do 'fun' things but not work#not paying attention to the faxt that i dont much like the activities im doint#i do them to stay alive and make others happy#and genuinely i am incapable of what would make me happy#WHICH IS WORK#GENUINELY#my life is miserable BECAUSE i cant clean or move around#i hate feeling like i contribute nothing to the ppl i love#i hate not being organized#and i HATE not working so so so so so much#the sad fact is that i just really cant work#i have to somehow get better#even though no one knows whats wrong w me or believes im genion3ly experiencing it#i dont have seizures apparently its normal to collapse and go into spasms w ur eyes rolled back in your head.#apparently thats normal#apparently its fine to hallucinate my whole life and have fainting spells and confusion and disorientation and feel sensations as other thin#gs#thats kusy notmal and not indicitive of ANY neurological priblem#so i should shut up and go away and get some CBT about it#i jusy dont fucking know whatcyh3 fuck i am supposed to do#what am i supposed to do to be able to work
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evanescentdawn · 7 months
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hhehehehe I love being able to write abt my ninja boys, I had a long period that was Just frustrating struggle akin to dragging through mud cuz nothing was wording but the stars must be aligned right now cuz I was working on this wip I had and it’s been GOING (rereading bookmarked ninjago fics did its wonders<3) n it’s v insanely fun to work on. and oh my god I have to say Jay is my fav character to write so far he’s so <3 I want him in my pocket!!!!!!!!!!
“Hey, guys!”
Jay looked over. Cole was walking towards them, Kai alongside him. They went out to scout the area. There was something in their expressions that lit up hope in Jay.
He sprang to his feet. “What is it? Did you guys find something? Are we going home? Did you hear from Master —”
“Woah, hold your horses sparky.” Cole said. “Nothing like that.”
“There’s pretty much nothing out there,” Kai said. “Just a bunch of more weirdly tall trees —”
—“Weirdly creepy tall trees,” Jay corrected —
“But just as we were about to give up, we came across some kind of weird pavement.”
“Weird pavement?” Zane questioned.
“Yeah,” Cole said. “It was made of yellow and pink coloured stone. We followed it and found a place I think we can shelter in.”
“That’s the best news I could have heard. No, the second best news.” Jay said, excitedly. “The best news would be being able to get out of this place but this is the next best thing. I hope it has a bath. I need a bath desperately.”
He felt all sweaty and awful under his ninja garb. It wasn’t warm here, leaning on the cold side but — Jay didn’t know what exactly it was. His skin felt weird under his ninja garp. Itchy, too warm and terrible. Because he hadn’t, urgh, changed out of it in hours even after they had that fight and got rolled in dirt. A lot.
It wasn’t their greatest moment.
“I don’t know about your bath,” Kai said. “We didn’t check inside. There’s some kind of lock but we figure Zane should be able to crack it.”
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ddeexxmm · 8 months
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Its so joever for me bruh im 18 with no friends no job not in school no hobbies no goals no achievements
#whenever i go outside i feel so incredibly uncomfortable like everyone is staring at me and laughing at me i cant even walk normally#and i was legitametly getting stared at when i went to college so its not like im just paranoid or something#i probably am actually getting stared at and made fun of just like i was in college#i think i look worse then i think i do and that makes me so sad lol#i know im ugly but sometimes i see myself and think maybe i dont look TOO bad or at least when i lose weight i wont look so bad#but maybe im just irredeemably ugly and nothing can fix it#why else would people stare at me im unremarkable at best#im not tall or super underweight and i dont dress weird i do everything i possibly can to fade into the background#so why do people stare at me#the only logical answer is that im just incredibly ugly#so my life is basically just over lol#i know people dont want to talk to me but i figured it was just because im quiet so i pushed myself to be more talkative and outgoing#but obviously that didnt work so it must just be cause im ugly#thats why people stare at me#i guess if i get to a low enough weight at least the stares will be about my body and not my face#that would be a little better i think#when i was growing up all i hoped for was that i would live a normal life once i grew up#i dont even care about leaving a mark on the world or being some important person anymore#i just want to feel content with my life for once man#i havent been happy with myself or my life since i was twelve years old#all ive done since then is fail my parents and fail myself#i know im a disappointment to them no matter what they say ive seen theyre text messages and i see the way they treat me#im nothing but a waste of money and time#and to top it off i look like a fucking ogre#all i ever wanted was to be happy with myself. i cant even live up to my own expectations.#i will never amount to anything
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femme-malewife · 1 month
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Writing angst is such a breath of fresh air for me...
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readymades2002 · 2 months
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i do love dancing. i don't know how to do it but i do love it </3
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silverislander · 3 months
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idk if it's genuine excitement or the energy drink i had earlier that's actually letting me focus and work but dude. i am CRUSHING this essay. this is Fun To Write. i think i'm actually doing a really good job here. wtf. i love my major man
#i am a LITTLE bit sad i cant do grad school bc like. im going to miss writing essays and researching and all once i graduate#i do genuinely like doing it. call me a nerd or whatever but i love it esp when its on smth fun and interesting like this#now im not sad enough to actually DO grad school lmao#unless i got offered a scholarship or smth idk. wont happen but. hm. if it did.#seriously tho. i would think more seriously abt it if it werent for my adhd. i just dont think its realistic for me#as much as i like my field i dont think i have the ability to focus well enough to complete the work id need to complete#i went to the meeting abt grad school i learned abt what it requires/why people do it and all. i just dont think i can do that#and bc i ultimately cant get diagnosed -> cannot get help/medication thats not going to improve any time soon#after years of learning how to adapt and work with my brain this is probably the best i can do without medical/institutional intervention#its not worth paying a shitload of money and possibly setting my career back by years only to fail out yk?#im not too torn up abt it. ill give it more thought if it becomes relevant but rn its not really on my radar#ive done an excellent job in school! im getting an honours degree (hopefully)! most people dont even get that far#a lot of people with my condition dont even get into university let alone graduate. im incredibly lucky to be able to do what i can#levi.txt#this is all over the place but takeaway is im having a good time! things are coming together i feel confident in my work#im gathering theorists and sources for the section on night of the living dead and having a blast#ive got my examples all lined up my arguments make sense in my head i know where to look for applicable theories etc etc#i just need supporting quotes and im working on that rn!! it hasnt even been that hard#ok. back to work. i need to harness the power of caffeine once more (made my brain quiet) (no longer full of bees) (im in charge)
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forbiddennhoney · 7 months
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i know it doesnt have to be "as bad" as it used to be for it to still be impacting me severely. i know others suffering doesnt make my pain any less real. and yet i am sitting here feeling severe guilt over smthn thats supposed to be "natural" bc it causes such excessive pain (even when i am medicated & take pain meds to help it) that i may have to completely rearrange my Saturday bc i am in no condition to do what i had planned and if the pain doesn't stop I'll have to cancel and ik its important to prioritize my health but also i wish i could just grit through the pain bc i feel so guilty cancelling 🙃
#personal#being intersex is fun (':#<< heavy sarcasm rn if u cant tell#and b4 anyone says 'oh everyones periods are lainful just do xyz' pls consider i have been experiencing this for 12 years now#and Do know medically that i am intersex and that my condition impacts the function of my body and puts me in a level of pain that is so big#that at its peak when on my period my body starts mimicking labor bc it thinks smthn is trying to leave#and if you have never experienced a labor pain level cramp pls look it up or get one of those electric box thingies that let u feel it#bc my cramps are a solid 8-9 on those every time this happens#the sad thing is i say its “not as bad as it used to be” too but the reality is it is Just as painful#i have just been living with this long enough and have just enough hormones in my body from getting an implant to make it less frequent#than 3 weeks in a month 🙃 but its not less painful at all!#(yes i used to have my period for 3 weeks at a time)#im also worried bc like. it seems like my period is coming more often than when i first started this version of hormone treatment#I've already blown through pills being effective and my junk is the wrong shape inside for an IUD to fit properly#(like i could but it would likely cause other pains and worse side effects)#so im already at my second to last resort (BC implant for continuous hormone release) and it works to a point but its getting less effective#the longer im using it and im so scared bc i think im already at a point where i have to get my stuff removed w/in the next 5 years#and i already knew i would and i want to really#but there's a large part of me that is still devastated by that and grieves this bc its a Requirement for me after a certain point to be in#less pain ): and like... idk i didnt want kids ever but also now as an adult ive experienced multiple miscarriages#(bc my condition makes my body hostile essentially)#and so its like..... extra grief.#idk im rambling in these tags
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somuch-4-stardust · 7 months
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🐜‼️
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transgaysex · 9 months
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its 5 am and i really shouldnt be having thoughts right now but im so anxious about school
#wind howls#im really upset at having so many days that start early#3 out of 7 is a lot to me. not fun#and most upsetting of all is that its like. super not alligned with my boyfriends schedule#i have 8 am classes on days he doesnt have classes at all... and he has a 9 am on the one day i dont have classes#im gonna have to pray that my siblings will agree to switch dishwashing turns with me here and there#i hate having to rebuild my while life schedule so that it matches with my class schedule. its really upsetting to me.#thankfully ill only have 6 classes which isnt necessarily a lot ? like its more than 4 but definitely not the 8 classes they recommend#so im quite grateful that i already finished almost all of my obligatory classes beforehand. i only have 1 french class left#and i have to dispute one of my complementary classes. ill send an email out tomorrow.#also the intro activity today made me kinda nervous. its hard to think that others started where im at and made such-#beautiful final projects after only 3 years. though i guess thats also kinda a lot of time. all the same its just a bit daunting#and its hard not to feel intimidated when youre told that it takes a whole month to work on a 10 seconds long animation....#i have faith in me and i know i wont be alone and i have no intention of giving up on this course !! but i cant help but be nervous !#im just sad about not having free evenings that allign with the love of my life :( but it has a solution. everything does.#its all a matter of coordination... sob sob#alright im sleepy now
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nomaishuttle · 9 months
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it was pretty fun except i got randomly rly upset and now im still upset. sigh
#i was like sad bc the plan was wed go saturday and have the whole day to do beach. and then they seitched it so we get to fucking Walk#around seattle tmrw. snd see the town from Twilight i guess. oh boy#and then my gran made me get fucking sand for my sibling so i got my work clothes wet#and i have literally no way to wash them. bc the fucking washer is still broken and i have no goddamn clue when hals planning on fixing it#bc i cant talk to him at all. so who knowd. and i cant get to the fucking laundry mat either and basically its all hell#i have other work shirts but theyre both dirty bc i havent been able to wash them for weeks bc hal always did th laundry and stuff. and.#idk. whatever. ill fuckin figure something out#my only pair of work pants got dirty while i was getting the fucking sand i was trying not to get them wet but now theyre wet and sandy and#they already needed washed. but now theyre judt unwearable i have 2 clean them#it wouldnt have fucking happened if they gave me literally any opportunity to change into the fucking swim clothes i brought#but no. they only pointed out that there was a bathroom for me to fucking chabge into AFTER making me go inro the water to get the stupid#fucking sand#we didnt even get to see the fucking tidepools which was literally the inly reason i wanted to go to the fucking beach. we got here at 8pm#bc my gran wanted 2 see the fucking sunset. even tho its high tide rn#and tmrw were seeing the stupid fucking twilight town bc rhey just decided we have to bc its some shit they like#fucking. Thanks guys the visit has RLY been fun. idk#ik im being bitchy im just like. i feel awful now
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todayisafridaynight · 9 months
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Your brain is massive and your opinions are correct. I fucking LOVE SA2 and Shadow bro 😭 Last time I revisited my Sonic era I was trying to unlock training mode in Shadow by A-ranking all the missions and bosses. SA2/Shadow/Sonic Heroes/Sonic Riders were the ones I replayed (and still do every couple of years) the most :)
my god PLEAAASSE THE TRAINING/EXPERT MODE IN SHADOW i love how the hints just fuck off and are replaced by the cast chattin with shadow.... like black doom the fuck are you doin talkin to me you are dead.... leave me alone.....
as a part of my All-326-Routes playthrough of shadow im SO stoked to unlock that mode again for the first time in like. A Decade... i've just been clearing out all the routes from the very top all the way down but i might just A-rank all the levels and routes first just to get the mode..
the adventure games + shadow are my faves to play honestly like as much as i still do like sonic games nowadays i just really enjoyed that 3d free-roaming aspect of the gamecube era games (and even 06: just wish it wasnt such a glitchy mess and i was more of a fan of the models/art style)
PLUS WITH THE ADVENTURE GAMES YOU HAVE THE CHAOS LIKE WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THEM BRING THEM BACK !!!!! THEY WERE SO CUTE
#snap chats#you cant escape Sonic Kid era like every couple years ill be like#'oh my god i have a gamecube that still works' and ill just replay all them games#Hot Take i did enjoy big's campaign.... idk..... maybe its cause his vibes are immaculate .. im glad he's in frontiers <3<3<3#im actually really stoked for the coming months because my fam and i've had sonic heroes for years right#but we only have it for the original xbox and we lost THAT a long while ago so i can't play it and it's just been taunting me all this time#BUT THEN I REMEMBER i am an adult with adult money. Sometimes. i can just buy my own gamecube copy#i have to start shilling my commissions more on twitter since i wanna get it before i go back to school#yk. so i can be a responsible student and play it when i have down time LMAO BUT EEEE IM SO EXCITED#yk whats a game i miss sooooo much tho.... i lost my copy of sonic chronicles....#I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW LIKE I STILL HAVE THE CASE i might just buy a new game card then....#that does mean ill have to start all over but.. thats ok.. sonic chronicles was SOO fun to me growing up.. i miss shade so much..#gen one of my fave sonic characters she was so cool and i loved her design and helmet so much#SPEAAAAKING OF ONE OFF CHARACTERS I MISS YK WHO I MISS THE MOST THO gamma.....#gamma was what introduced me to sad character stories i SWEAR LIKE THAT SHIT MADE ME SO SAD#i miss him eveyr day like i know he can never come back and that's a good thing cause Birdie's Parents Are OK BUT STILLLLL#my baby..... at least omega's here.... and he can threaten eggman every five minutes......#but when youre playing SA2 and you have to fight the robots modeled after gamma THATS SO EVIL STOP#UGH i love gamma sorry... but im not.. gamma was like. sega dippin their te into existentialism in sonic...#and then shadow was born LMAO tho i guess you can count metal sonic too if we wanna look at the sonic movie from the like. 90's#GOD I HOPE I STILL HAVE THAT DVD SOMEWHERE I LOVED THAT MOVIE SO MUCH GROWING UP it has the CUTEST artstyle#and knuckles' lil hat... ALSO METAL SONIC DYING AT THE END STOP when he bats sonic's hand away... metal bb come back...#and i mean at least he does but yk..... be nice to him..... he's going through a lot... he won't express it but i know he is...#OK SONIC RAMBLE DONE I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR WRITING IN ANON AND LETTING ME BE A DWEEB I JUST LOVE SONIC RAAAH#i have to end my ramble fr im running out of tags... now we'll never know of my chao gardens.......#OK BYE BYEEEE
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