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#im not tall or super underweight and i dont dress weird i do everything i possibly can to fade into the background
ddeexxmm
·
8 months
Text
Its so joever for me bruh im 18 with no friends no job not in school no hobbies no goals no achievements
#whenever i go outside i feel so incredibly uncomfortable like everyone is staring at me and laughing at me i cant even walk normally
#and i was legitametly getting stared at when i went to college so its not like im just paranoid or something
#i probably am actually getting stared at and made fun of just like i was in college
#i think i look worse then i think i do and that makes me so sad lol
#i know im ugly but sometimes i see myself and think maybe i dont look TOO bad or at least when i lose weight i wont look so bad
#but maybe im just irredeemably ugly and nothing can fix it
#why else would people stare at me im unremarkable at best
#im not tall or super underweight and i dont dress weird i do everything i possibly can to fade into the background
#so why do people stare at me
#the only logical answer is that im just incredibly ugly
#so my life is basically just over lol
#i know people dont want to talk to me but i figured it was just because im quiet so i pushed myself to be more talkative and outgoing
#but obviously that didnt work so it must just be cause im ugly
#thats why people stare at me
#i guess if i get to a low enough weight at least the stares will be about my body and not my face
#that would be a little better i think
#when i was growing up all i hoped for was that i would live a normal life once i grew up
#i dont even care about leaving a mark on the world or being some important person anymore
#i just want to feel content with my life for once man
#i havent been happy with myself or my life since i was twelve years old
#all ive done since then is fail my parents and fail myself
#i know im a disappointment to them no matter what they say ive seen theyre text messages and i see the way they treat me
#im nothing but a waste of money and time
#and to top it off i look like a fucking ogre
#all i ever wanted was to be happy with myself. i cant even live up to my own expectations.
#i will never amount to anything
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