#there was a lot of thought put into this ngl
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We Have Now
Pairing: Nika Mühl x Reader
Warnings: lil bit of angst, suggestive content
Summary: The season is over, the seniors have graduated and the summer has begun. The future holds a lot of uncertainty, but your feelings for Nika have never been uncertain. Is it too late for you?
A/n: I just can’t resist summer themed fics. Also I’m ngl this is NOTT my best work so I’m sorry for that… enjoy anyways.
“Holy shit!”
Through the window of your bedroom you can see the sunset has turned outside an entrancing mix of tropical colours. Pink, purple, orange and yellow mix in the clouds and paint the world around you for a moment, and you know you need to see it up close.
You rush down the stairs and past the living room, where the rest of the team is sleeping on the couch with a movie on in the background.
It had been a long day for everyone, the team had planned to spend a couple days of July at an airbnb in Rhode Island back in February, and the plan thankfully took off.
The day had been filled with a long car ride, various TikToks, loud music, unpacking, swimming and barbecuing. Everyone was exhausted.
When you rush out to the deck you’re encapsulated by the scenery. Sunsets were beautiful, but even better by the beach. The white sand and deep ocean water against the rich setting sky was something out of a book.
After taking about a hundred photos and videos, you put your phone away and just stood in astonishment.
Playing basketball with these girls at Uconn was one of the biggest blessings you’d ever received in your life, and you were going to miss them so much. You often found yourself swimming in old memories at night, memories of locker room conversations, late night drives, shared playlists, loud Friday night parties, shared looks, useless yearning and post game tears.
You’d already gone through your sad feelings at graduation though, and the draft had brought some more light to the situation. You had no regrets whatsoever about your college career, except for maybe one thing. And that thing was on the beach right now.
Nika was laying on the sand, just far enough from the ocean to avoid getting hit by the high tide. She didn’t say anything when you laid down beside her, the both of you just stared at the darkening sky as the sound of waves filled the silence.
“Remember how different things were when we first met?” You finally say after some time.
Nika quietly laughs. “How could I forget?”
You roll your eyes playfully. “Gosh, I thought you were so weird.”
“You were weirder.” She grumbles.
“You just thought all Americans were weird.”
“Because you guys are! I never saw so many overly confident basketball players who were so bad till’ I came here.”
The two of you laugh together for a moment, then it’s quiet again.
Your hand is excruciatingly close to hers, but neither of you move closer.
“Everything’s so different now.” Nika mumbles, almost to herself.
You turn your head to face her. Nika’s side profile is strong, prominent nose, perfect lips, sharp eyebrows and expressive eyes. Her cheeks are pink from being out in the sun. You have the urge to make them pinker, but you shake the thought away.
“Yeah. Everything is different…but that’s a good thing”
Nika nods solemnly, but you can tell she’s thinking hard.
“Niks, don’t worry too much okay? Things work out if they’re meant to.”
She brings a hand to her face, covering her eyes and muffling her voice, which slightly wavers when she says. “What if I don’t make it?”
With this you give in and take her hand, squeezing it tight for a moment.
“Baby they’re lucky to have you. One day with you and they’ll know you’re needed on that team. Everyone else knows it for sure.”
“Says who?” Her eyebrows furrow. “I can’t just assume this’ll work out. What if it doesn’t? What the fuck do I do then? All my work will have been for nothing.”
“If Seattle doesn’t see you as an asset to their team, then I assure you there’ll be another team just waiting for you. Everyone here knows how valuable you are as a player, and the internet wouldn’t let anyone forget.”
She isn’t very convinced, but she turns her head to meet your gaze. Her eyes remind you of a puppies eyes. “Thank you.” She says, sincere and slightly embarrassed. Her hand is still in yours and your noses are almost touching. You wonder if she’d ever talk to you again if you kissed her.
At the thought of that, your stomach sinks. You sit up suddenly, hand breaking from hers. You don’t see how her face drops when you do it.
“I-“ you start, but hesitate. You didn’t want to regret anything like this again. You wanted her to know every thought in your head, even if it had a chance of going sour. “I’m really gonna miss you Nika. More than anyone else, I think.” You finally manage to get out.
She sits up now too, her brown hair blowing in the salty wind, her almost hazel eyes glinting from the reflection of the water, or perhaps something else, something like hope.
“More than anyone else?” She questions you.
“Yeah.” You say, turning to meet her stare. “I’ve always liked you more than the others.”
“Hm.” She says, as if she was expecting more.
The silence is eating at you, you just want to scream out how badly you want her. You know it’s too late, when this trip is over everyone splits. You to your hometown, Aaliyah to Washington, Nika to Seattle, Paige and the others to Connecticut. Still, you didn’t want to live with this in you forever.
“I had a massive crush on you during freshman year.” You utter as confidently as possible.
Nika’s lips part in surprise “You- you did?”
“Yeah. Major.” You scoff. Those days were almost pathetic in hindsight, obvious to everyone but Nika and yourself.
You watch as Nika draws swirls in the sand with her finger. You can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
“And…when did this crush fade away?” She finally asks you.
You let a beat pass before sucking it up and saying. “It didn’t.”
Nika’s eyes really widen now. You hold her gaze as best as you can. “I never stopped liking you. It just got stronger overtime, actually.”
You almost recoil when she scowls at you.
“Fuck you.”
“What?”
“Fuck!” She rubs her face, exasperated. “You- urgh, I wish you told me. I wish you told me way, way earlier.”
You don’t say anything.
“I wish I knew. Don’t you get it?” She whines, almost pleadingly. “God, if you’d told me way earlier we could’ve…maybe we would’ve..” she trails off.
Finding out that Nika Mühl, your best friend and longest love, also loved you should’ve been the best moment of your life. Instead it had you thinking of everything that could’ve been.
“I was scared.” You mutter. “I was so, so scared, I don’t know why. I wish I’d just told you, but you know me. I never take chances. I pass the ball, I don’t make the shot. I just…I wouldn’t have been able to take it if you didn’t feel the same. So I never did anything.”
She’s close to you now, hand on your knee, face flushed.
“What are we gonna do?”
You stare at her face, eyes darting from her eyes, then lips, the her eyes again.
Her eyes are beautiful. Honey brown, golden in the sun but piercing now at dusk, eyelashes long and fluttering as she tries to make sense of this situation.
You’ve wanted her more than you’ve wanted that ring at the end of the National Tournament every single year. The thought of you wasting time that could’ve been spent pressed next to her, skin to skin and soul to soul? It was sickening to you.
Still, here she was. Eyes begging you for something you’ve dreamed of. The sky now staining the beach a violent pink.
When your mouth meets hers it’s everything you’ve fantasized about. Her lips are full and soft, fitting perfectly against your own. You can feel her lashes tickle your face as you tilt your head just right, her arms get goosebumps when you fiddle with her hair.
Pulling away from her, you can’t help but melt at the satisfied smile on her face.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Nika says. “I just wish it could’ve happened earlier.”
“I’m tired of wishing.” You say, putting a hand on her face gently. “We can’t change anything now. It’s over. But we have today.”
She drinks in the feeling of being this close to you. “We have now.” Nika whispers.
Your kisses are sweet and chaste at first, but it’s getting colder out and you need her warmth. She changes the pace, clashing into you with a sense of urgency now. When her mouth slightly opens and you feel her tongue against yours you know it’s over for you. She can have whatever she wants.
Nika finds herself straddling you now, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of everything that’s happening.
After four years of thinking of her before bed, before letting your hands take care of yourself night after night to the thought of her, here she was in all her glory. Body toned and breathing hard, hair sprawled against her tan skin, fingers untying her bikini top.
She leans into you, but instead of kissing you she puts her mouth to your ear. You can feel her smirk against your skin.
“How much of the past four years do you wanna bet I can make up for in one night?
#Spotify#fanfic#fanfiction#uconn wbb#light angst#angst with a happy ending#rpf#nika muhl x reader#nika muhl#nika mühl#uconn women’s basketball
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I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.
AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol
also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs
i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too
as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom
idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios
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Two totally normal guys decide to protect the server by containting everything strange
#VERY LOVE THIS#BELOVED PIECE#i had a sketch of this idea year+ ago but i really liked it so ive redone it completely and finished and oh i love this#im normal about area77#and the guys who run it#a cannibal vex and a guy who killed god#also played with the line about creepers from minecraft mobestiary about the downturned month suggesting profound sadness#also vexes are summoned so this is why the book is there#actually remembered that Doc killed dinnerbone with a wooden sword think it looks pretty good actually#docm77#goodtimeswithscar#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s6#blood tw#blood#court jester's art#there was a lot of thought put into this ngl#love it
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Our Flag Means Death 1x4 | 1x6 | 2x6 | 2x7 ⇉ if the bed nook could talk...
#ngl it's driving me bonkers a little that ed was about to kill stede IN the bed nook like behind the curtains#and the scene is filmed so erotically??#the lighting and ed's low voice when he says “scary as hell” and the hand he gently places on stede's back#and instead of killing stede he relives his trauma related to killing#and stede takes care of him so so gently and that scene is ALSO very intimate#they could've just as easily put jim's shadow show in the bed nook and ed's hiding place in the library nook but no#they put ed and stede together in the bed nook#and it's the only other time they're both in there with stede drawing the curtains closed BUT we're behind the curtain with them#sorry this just set off a lot of thoughts on my latest rewatch aksdhjsk THERE'S SOMETHING THERE#also i know i made a similarly themed set with just the 1x4 and 2x7 scenes but the “murder attempt” scene being one of these 4 intimate one#with the two of them together in there#idk i've been rotating it in my brain#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death#ofmdedit#ofmdsource#ofmd gifs#ida.stuff#ofmd 1x4#ofmd 1x6#ofmd 2x6#ofmd 2x7#edward teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#gentlebeard
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seeing knuxouge fans upset that rouge isnt gonna be in the next sonic channel art knowing that sonics last minute victory was at least partially caused by me being really annoying about the poll
#ngl part of what fueled me in all that was spite.#over the fact that a lot of people were only voting rouge for shipping reasons#and not putting any actual thought into it beyond that. and she was WINNING.#like sonic was the obvious best choice there. please turn your shipping brains off for 5 minutes#it annoys me so much when people boil these polls down to ''which ship do you like better'' i remember people did it with the amy one too#and when shadow was an option on rouge's poll there were people voting for shadow just because they like sh/adouge#and yes im a so/nknux liker and voted for sonic on knuckles' poll but thats not the reason i wanted sonic to win#liking a ship is just a bonus. not my sole reason for voting for certain characters or wanting to see them interact
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Notes:
I think I definitely like the original versions more than the edited ones. I'm more happy with the grumpy Fernando one, whereas the bratty Seb one made me want to cease painting forever. So hopefully he looks good?????? I'm sure I'll soften on it, but yeah, not TOO pleased with it right now. His facial expressions are so cute and dynamic and unique until you have to try and paint it and then you dont love him anymore(kidding ofc, how could I ever hate my beloved boy king 🥺)
Anyways, these are them:
#the caption is a multi-pronged reference so if you get it you get it 🤭#hint: the quote is both a translation of a vettonso thing but its also not...exact. i added a little spice to it#so yeah translate all of that first(the first part of the quote wont work in google translate tho)#and then also the rest of the caption is both a reference to a real life thing but also me making it AUified !!#hehehe let me know your thoughts 🤭 was so fucking pleased w it when i first told C about it#ngl putting that quote was the main thing pushing me thru finishing the seb one#im like CMON YOU CAN DO IT!! IF YOU FINISH IT YOU CAN PUT YOUR SILLY LATIN JOKE!!! YOU LOVE LATIN!!#anyways i drafted this before i even really started the seb one#and my god LOOK AT THEIR HAND SIZE DIFFERENCE WOOF WOOF WOOF#did you guys notice...seb's ring...his wedding...ring? 🤭🤭🤭#wanted to add one to nando but his left ring finger isnt really visible but just so you know hes wearing it#I have a lot of thoughrs about rings and ungloved vs gloved hands grrrrrrr#theres a lot of meaning in it to me and it adds to their characterization so ill try and make a post abt thay sometime !#anyways pls enjoy the fruits of my labor.....#vettonso so good it makes me PAINT TWO PORTRAITS#i think before this au i was kinda trying to get away from painting csuse it stressed me out too much#and then the vettonso brainrot is so horrinle that im willing to paint for like...an undisclosed amnt of time#undisclosed not bcs im being secretive but bcs i have no idea and irs 6 am and i have school JSKFLVL#okay bur yes yes please enjoy. and enjoy my suffering as a purveyor of vettonso 🥹 id do anything for my lieges#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#boy king au
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Why season 6 was overall disappointing for me.
To varying degrees, I felt like ALL of the characters were fumbled. Let me explain, and buckle in because this is stupidly long, but I needed to get it out of my system. 🤙
My critical thoughts are under the cut to save your dash. If that’s not your jam, don’t read.
✨ CHIMNEY & MADDIE
Do I like that Maddie and Chimney are engaged? Yes. But do I think the mending and coming back together of Maddie and Chimney throughout season 6 was done super well? Ehhhh it was okay. Even then, this was probably the better handled story for any couple/character this season.
Why didn’t we get to see them working through things in therapy? And then continuing to work on things outside of that as well? It really felt like we had a speed run through them making up for everything that went down in season 5. They both clearly had issues to work on like Maddie’s hesitancy to marry again, her guilt over (needing to) leave, Chimney’s overall self worth and insecurities. It felt like a little too often Maddie and Chimney weren’t talking things out together, weren’t properly communicating, but talking with other people about any issue.
Also Chimney needs to retake his paramedics exam or something because my dude pulled out a bar after being impaled?!? Wtf, you know better Chimney! And he lost a ton of blood, but bounced back hella quick. 🙃
✨ ATHENA
I’m truly drawing a blank on what Athena’s story even was in season 6, beyond I think the first 1-2 episodes of a childhood friend's (or was the girl even a friend of Athena’s??) murder being solved; that was it for her. Even then, the closure was definitely more so for the benefit of the sister of the murdered girl.
Oh wait, Athena’s dad was in an accident, but he recovered. Nothing about that was touched on once the episodes were done. No other mention of Athena’s parents.
Athena honestly just kinda floated through the whole season. Yes she had moments of being a wonderful and supportive partner to Bobby, they had some cute moments together, but that was it.
✨ BOBBY
The story of Wendal in theory was good, but not handled in a satisfying way. Like at all. Why? Because the show really brought in someone we’ve never met, told us he’s been important to Bobby and Athena for years, and then asked us to be very moved by it all in about four episodes.
Before anyone starts to protest, “but the show has done so well getting us to care about one off characters in 911 calls many times before.” Yes, they have, but the big difference is that those are one off characters. Wendal wasn’t meant to be seen as a one and done character, but rather someone that’s been present for years and actually meant something to two of our main characters.
What didn’t help was that Wendal was set up in episode 6x9, the last episode before a 3 month hiatus. Then when the story was picked back up and concluded in 2-3 episodes, I think there was a passing mention of Wendal and then… nothing. We didn’t see this affect Bobby any further. We didn’t see him continue to go to AA meetings, nothing with that.
Another fumble was May confirming I believe in episode 6x11 or 6x12 that Bobby is Buck's dad. He’s a father figure to Buck. However, after that scene the show didn’t do nearly as much with this as they could have. They could have and should have had more bonding scenes between Buck and Bobby. Like yes, has it been pretty clear that Bobby is essentially a father to Buck before May stated it out loud? Yes. But it still would have been nice to, idk, maybe even have Buck and Bobby have a conversation about this in some capacity. Just something you know?
Hell, if the show had stuck to the story of Buck processing his death - which they kinda dropped - then they could have had one or two scenes at least of Buck talking to Bobby about his dreams and everything. Instead we got Buck brushing off his death (because running from and not really processing trauma is nothing new for Buck), having at least two honest conversations with Eddie saying he feels lost and unsure, but then nothing else. But more on Buck later.
Beyond the Wendal story, Bobby didn’t get to do much this season. And he too healed from his injuries in the finale hella quick.
✨ MAY
I guess this important side character is doing fine at college? Still going out with that young man she had dated in high school?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
✨ HEN
I think overall I’m pretty satisfied with the wrap up of Hen deciding to quit med school and focus on and remain being a firefighter. Still, I don’t know if this is necessary, but I kinda think the whole doctor thing could have been brought up once or twice afterward? Becoming a doctor had been a big thing for Hen for something like 3 years, and I know she decided she’s happy being a firefighter, but I suppose it feels like the doctor thing has been forgotten all together? *shrugs* Not a big thing, but yeah.
Karen's workplace blowing up was a one and done story. No mention about or fallout from that. Mm.
Uhhh where was the build up to Hen and Karen wanting to adopt? In the finale I really thought, “Who are all these kids running around? Is this a sleepover???” Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of Hen and Karen wanting to adopt, but if this had been discussed at all in season 6, it must have been once early on in 6A or something, because I was confused where this story came from. They needed a little more build up to this because it really felt a little out of left field, and rushed (like much of the finale).
Correct me if I’m misremembering, but didn’t Toni say to Hen, “a boy needs his father”????? What kind of messaging is that? Not a good or positive one, I’ll tell you that. It’s coming across as, “actually these two powerful women, these wonderful mothers, aren’t enough to raise a child.” It’s coming across as “actually, low-key, the nuclear family is the best kind.” This post by @very-feral-lesbian stated that it’s homophobia, and I don’t think they’re wrong.
And this isn’t the first time 911 has implied this, that the nuclear family is right. Carla in season two said, “that boy needs his momma” about Chris and Shannon. In that case, it felt disrespectful to Eddie being a single father. As if Eddie wasn’t enough for Christopher.
911 may be diverse in many regards, but they’re not consistent in their messaging.
Plus, wh - where did this Nathaniel story even come from? We haven’t heard anything about him since season 2, when it seemed Hen and Karen were on good terms with him. But out of the blue in season 6 we have Denny suddenly wanting his biological father in his life? When as far as we knew, he seemed perfectly content with his moms and his grandma in his life?
Another rather awful message is that Nathaniel, a grown adult, a stranger to Denny, thought it was okay to meet his biological son behind Denny’s mothers’ back for months??? And he was forgiven for that????? Yeah Hen and Karen said “do something like that again and you’re out,” but still. Nathaniel has definitely proven himself untrustworthy. I didn’t care for how this was handled at all.
✨ The Buckley Parents & Mr Han
*deep sigh* Good lord, I’ll try to keep this brief. These reconciliation stories were not handled well at all. I’ve seen plenty of people baffled and upset that the show had given these sucky parents a redemption, which means the show did a poor job in making it clear what they were attempting.
The worst was probably Mr. Han because the only “work” he put in was playing with Jee-Yun once or twice. He did nothing else in regards to Chimney. It was just Albert guilting Chimney to give Mr. Han another chance, and Mrs. Han giving a one minute speech about how “you and your dad are both stubborn.” Wow, so satisfying.
Personally I do wish the show would have the balls to say, “you know, some parents just suck, they don’t change, and that’s life.” But nah, gotta allow even the shittiest of parents reconciliation stories.
✨ BUCK
I have the most to say about him because this season gave Buck 5 storylines. These storylines overall were messily executed, and three of them not even resolved.
— Leadership —
At the beginning of the season, yes, it was set up that Buck wants to take on leadership. However, from that to the finale there wasn’t really anything in between to connect it. So this particular arc felt a bit unearned.
— Donor Storyline —
I do believe it had potential, but it was fumbled in my eyes. In 6A it was really clear that Buck was struggling with donating, wondering if this was a good decision for him. Okay, that right there makes sense for Buck. Buck’s continuous struggle of being seen as parts to be given away no matter how it actually affects him.
However, Buck’s struggle was fully dropped once 6B came back on. Instead it pivoted to Connor and Kameron having the issues, specifically Connor. Connor was the one struggling with being a dad to a kid that’s not biologically his and not communicating with Kameron on how he feels. Keep in mind, we got most of this information in the last two episodes. No idea what other reasons, if there were any, why Kameron and Connor were struggling being married.
In episode 6x17, the show seemingly implied that Kameron and Buck were friends? Friendly enough that Kameron thought it was okay to crash at her donor’s place for however long. I guess she has no friends or family in LA. In any case, it really wasn’t until the last two episodes that Connor and Kameron really “mattered.” Buck became the mediator and pep talk guy. I guess Buck's line of “just love that kid” helped solve Connor and Kameron’s issues. 🙃
And I guess it was necessary for Buck to see the baby, so he could have some realization of “Wow, I really helped create this baby, but I’m okay with letting him go.” Though I honestly don’t think it was truly necessary for Buck to be the one to help birth the baby, but that’s just me. *shrugs* He could have just seen the baby at the hospital after being called up to see, and then peace out.
Overall I just don’t feel 100% satisfied with this story since, again, Buck was struggling with the decision in 6A, but 6B said “no he’s not.”
-– Being at Ease & Finding Happiness -–
I’m grouping these two storylines together. The only concrete thing I can say about them is that they were forgotten and not concluded by the end of the season. 🙃 I’m definitely disappointed because Buck learning to be at ease with himself? Now that was something he has needed to learn, and would have been great to see. It’s a much needed healing opportunity for Buck, but alas.
It’s an added layer of frustration because, to me at least, it really feels like those at 911 are dragging their feet at genuinely allowing Buck to grow and heal as a character in more significant ways. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the growth I have seen, nor saying he’s had zero growth as a character in the past 3-4 seasons. But damn if it feels like it’s mostly one step forwards, two steps back, and sometimes just going in circles.
I’ve seen other fans thinking that Buck has become kinda stagnant as a character, not just in season 6 but for longer. And I don’t think it’s because “they’re stupid” or “they’re just not seeing the long form storytelling” or something. No, if that’s some people's view of Buck? There’s reason and merit to that.
— Bucks Death (and revival) —
Buck died, struggled with his death, and… there was no conclusion or resolution to this. 🙃
We saw Buck not processing his death, refusing to properly process it for a time. He only admitted to Eddie twice that he was struggling, and then… nothing.
— (unnecessary) Romance —
We all thought when Natalia, the death doula, was brought in that she was going to help Buck process his death - despite the fact that it would have been more narratively satisfying to see Buck figure things out with the help of his found family, but sure. And yet, we didn’t get Natalia helping Buck process his death. Rather she found it cool, they went on a couple dates because Buck is once again in a trauma response mode, Natalia seemed honestly uncomfortable with how full Buck’s life is and ran, but came back and said sorry, and now after 4 dates Buck asked her to buy a couch with him.
??????????????
What bugs me the most is that Buck’s romantic life was not a part of his narrative or story for the majority of season 6. This out of left field romance was shoved in, poorly, into the last 3-4 episodes of the season.
I’ve seen one take that a romance for Buck - at what was potentially the last season - was something the general audience would expect, so the writers put it in. I - can’t say I really agree with that. Given Buck’s story and narrative through most of season 6, would the general audience really be upset and confused for Buck to, for example, be single and happy in the end? I also gotta say I don’t like the messaging that the only happy ending is for someone to be in a romantic relationship.
Plus, setting aside the fact that season 6 could have been the last season, Buck has been single at the end seasons 2, 3, 5, and arguably even season 1, but he didn’t realize it yet. In season 2 he was sad but not heartbroken over Ali, and I doubt the audience was particularly sad about it considering she was barely present. Season 3 Buck found peace (of sorts) with Abby, and was otherwise fine. Season 5 he’d broken up with TK and was looking really fucking happy and at peace about that.
So why exactly would the general audience “expect” Buck to be with someone, especially in a season that had up until the last 4-ish episodes had zero focus on his romantic life? “Because Buck for years now has been searching for a romantic partner.” Sure, but it’s a disservice to Buck and really everyone that the solution is to pair him off with someone they barely developed, and show/say that he’s happy about it. Like “aren’t you glad we gave Buck someone whose sole purpose is to be a love interest and nothing more?”
But circling back to Natalia. It’s hard to have much of an opinion about her because we’ve been told literally nothing about her beyond her profession. The most we’ve gotten out of her is her only being interested in Buck’s death and being generally overwhelmed at Buck and his life (even a little judgemental), before and after her apology.
We have no idea why Buck thinks “she sees me.” We don’t know what Buck sees in Natalia beyond her profession and being a beautiful woman. We have no idea what Natalia even sees in Buck despite her saying “I like you.” Because we’ve been shown nothing. And I will say what doesn’t help is that these two actors have zero chemistry.
Once again Buck has found himself passively in a relationship with no idea how he’s gotten there. I’ve seen this movie before, four times to be exact. It’s tiring, repetitive and boring at this point. Natalia and Buck are following too many similar beats already to Buck and Taylor.
There are two possible outcomes of this in season 7, 1) they break up or 2) the folks at 9-1-1 say fuck it and make Natalia and Buck endgame. Neither option is great, and I’ll explain why.
If they break up? Then what was the point? Is it going to be, “Buck learned that Natalia didn’t actually see him for who he is, nor could ever really understand and love all of him”? Hello. We’ve seen this movie before. It doesn’t matter that “Natalia isn’t as bad as Taylor” because we’ve seen this movie before. Introducing Natalia or any new love interest earlier in season 6 would have made it a modicum better, but I still wouldn’t like it. And I’m allowed to not like story choices. I must emphasize that what doesn’t help anything is that Natalia is barely a character.
So if the folks at 911 do decide to make Natalia and Buck endgame? It’s not hyperbole to say they have a shit ton of work to do to make this satisfying in any way.
The show is in such a weird spot because of the writers strike, WHICH I fully support. But the reality now is that the show, as far as we know, may not come back until January of 2024. 911 has always, as best they could, followed a real world timeline. So either the story will jump ahead 6 months, which you can imagine will cause several issues for many characters, or they’re for the first time going to only jump ahead, idk, a couple months into the future. Taking into consideration how the show left things off, they kinda shot themselves in the foot.
Because if they jump ahead 6 months and Buck and Natalia are still together? Great. Then we’ve literally missed a significant portion of their relationship, and the beginning of it has already been a whole lot of nothing.
What’s worse is IF, for Eddie, there is a 6 month time jump and he’s still with Marisol.
1) Eddie may be interested in dating, but not for something serious. If he does end up with Marisol - a character I’m sure a majority of people didn’t remember from 6A, but was brought back to remain a non-character in 6B - and we’re supposed to, what, care about them? Again I must say woof.
2) If Eddie and Marisol aren’t together at the start of season 7, then… there’s something underwhelming in that too. Although option two would make the most sense, even if I’m like, “yeah….. okay.” about it.
Tl;dr of Buck → Buck got a ton of screen time and a ton of stories, but not a whole lot of it was satisfying, to me at least.
✨ EDDIE
Eddie felt a bit like an afterthought in all of season 6, but it was especially evident in 6A.… But really all of season 6.
I think the story of Chris wanting more independence had potential to be spread out over 6A, rather than truncated into I think just one episode. Show us how Eddie is struggling with Chris’s independence, and show us Eddie trying to figure out what to even do with more time on his hands. More time to not be a dad, so to speak. Hell, bring in Ramon and Helen into all of this.
Ramon got redemption in season 5, but there was nothing for Helen. We know Helen was hard on Eddie too, but so far? She’s gotten a weird free pass. I know this show particularly likes to make troubled relationships with dads (moms too, but majority dads), but they could put a little more focus on the mothers as well. Considering there were a lot of parental stories in season 6 (not all well handled), this was a good opportunity.
I’ve only watched season 6 once, so correct me if I’m wrong, but Eddie’s loneliness really didn’t come into play until something like episode 6x13 or 6x14, right? Even now I still can’t formulate a comprehensive thought, but this aspect and Eddie deciding to date wasn’t handled in a satisfying way. I mean, with the added details and timeline put in about just how young both Eddie and Shannon were with *gestures*, it puts into perspective how little experience Eddie has in dating. And because of this, Eddie, I guess, wants to try out dating? Just for fun?? Okaaay. That could work, that could be something. I just wish it hadn’t been handled so clumsily.
And this is where Marisol comes into it. A person who, at this point, is
1) making Eddie look like a hypocrite because he said trying to date someone you met on a call never ends well, and yet.
2) Marisol is, currently, a blank character. All we know is that she does DIY. That’s it. Her only purpose, at the moment, is just to be a love interest for Eddie, however long it lasts, and that’s boring.
But I guess we were supposed to be happy about Eddie asking Marisol out? I mean, theoretically sure, it’s good to see Eddie putting himself out there, but only the concept is fine. Let’s not forget that the timeline to Eddie calling Marisol is fucked.
Supposedly they met at the hardware store (but originally on a 911 call), and I guess exchanged phone numbers off screen???? Then, idk, a week later the big emergency happens, where Eddie has broken ribs. Now realistically that would have taken 4-6 weeks at least for Eddie’s ribs to heal, otherwise Eddie wouldn’t be able to dance in his living room as we saw. Which means IF he’d waited for his ribs to heal, then both he and Marisol - despite being “excited” to call each other - had waited nearly two entire months to finally call each other? Haha what??????
My point being? Eddie wanting to go off into the dating world story wasn’t handled well, at least not to me. OH, and speaking of Eddie dating.
The last time Christopher found out his dad was dating, he ran to Buck. Now yes Chris has grown since then, but, where’s the through line? Why is Chris perfectly at ease with his dad attempting to date now? Where was the discussion for that between Chris and Eddie?
Side note, which is relevant here, let’s not forget that in 5x2 or 5x3 Eddie said “my kid loves her” about Ana. We never got to see this supposed love beyond a few brief scenes of Chris smiling with Ana in the same room. Mmm yes, I can feel and see the love. On top of that, we never got to see how Chris even felt about Eddie and Ana breaking up. So this is nothing new, the show failing to have connecting scenes for important issues being addressed when it comes to Chris and Eddie. Which is a damn shame because this is such an important relationship in the show, but in some ways has been neglected over the years. Definitely missed opportunities.
With Ana and mother of if all, Eddie had really only dated Ana because it’s what he thought he should do (because of his parents and heteronormative society). He thought he should give Chris - another mother? Okay, well go farther with that. Since Eddie did have a wonderful healing arc in season 5, we could have taken the time to explore both Chris wanting more independence and explore what Eddie wants in a partner in season 6. Season 6 could have then explored and made it clear that Eddie isn’t straight (because we live in a heteronormative world, so gotta “ease” people into saying “hey, not everyone is straight”).
And yes of course I’m going to bring Buck into this, Buddie into this, because disregarding the fact that the 911 folks didn’t know if the show was going to come back or not, they absolutely could have worked through the entire season to build up to Buddie canon. Hell, plenty of people in fandom thought that’s what was happening even after episode 6x01 (and definitely after the end of season 5). After everything in season 5, it’s not irrational or illogical to think the show can 100% have worked on making Buddie canon in season 6.
@lovecolibri made a really wonderful post explaining how the show and those at 911 are essentially “ship baiting” at this point in the game. Not queerbaiting, but ship baiting, which I think is a great term to use for Buddie. Definitely give the post a read.
But no. Instead we got Eddie only showing interest in women, and then calling a woman he and we know nothing about on a date. Okay. Cool. Yes, good for you for putting yourself out there Eddie, but… *helpless shrug*
me looking at Buck: Yep, I sure hope Eddie figures out what he wants in a partner. I hope he figures out he wants someone to always have his back, someone he can be himself with and not pretend. Someone who loves Christopher like he does. I hope he finds someone who he can have fun with and be silly with. Yep, I sure hope he learns that while going on dates with Marisol and whoever else.
— The Buddie of It All —
If they truly wanted to, the writers/TPTB could have made season 6 about Buddie becoming canon in some capacity. Whether that was a love confession, or an acknowledgement of feelings that will clearly lead to more. Hell, the first few episodes absolutely had this fandom believing that is what season 6 was going to do. But it didn’t. 6A was a bit scattered on the Buddie of it all, then 6x10-6x13 was pretty heavy on the Buck/Eddie/Chris aspect, and then there was a hard pivot to, “let’s pair off our super hetero hot guys with some women who are purely love interests.” Nope, nothing to see here.
Like? No matter what stage the people at 911 thought season 6 may be the last, you’re telling me they couldn’t have made Buddie canon work? That the general audience would be disappointed and mad about that? There were 18 episodes to work on bringing Buddie from subtext to canon, again, in some capacity. There were 18 episodes to finally say, “hey, yeah Buck and Eddie? Not straight.” They could have made this work. The fandom at the very start of season 6 thought it could work, as I’ve said, but it wasn’t until nearing the end of 6A and definitely the start of 6B that people had to say, “Oh… well. So they’re not going to work on making Buddie canon because it’s becoming too late now and it would be rushed.”
I am not pointing this out to say anyone has been queerbaiting. No one has. Ship baiting yes, but not queerbaiting. What has been clear since season 2 is that Buck and Eddie have something really special. There are big Buddie shippers for a reason. The groundwork has been laid down for 4 seasons already, so why not take the opportunity now, in season 6? Really, why not? Once again they had the opportunity in 18 episodes to make it make sense, even for the general audience.
✨ CONCLUSION
Season 6 was disappointing overall. As of right now, I do have some trepidation of what’s even going to happen in season 7. I have lost some faith in the writers and TPTB considering what they gave us and how they handled season 6 (yes I understand the cancellation pressure, I’m not saying they weren’t in a tough spot). I haven’t fully given up hope, but……. *sighs* yeah.
#911 discourse#911 critical#911 spoilers#uhhhh I had a lot to say about season 6#ngl this took like 3 days to put together#so I hope at least one person reads this ='))#my thoughts
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My personal ranking of NPMD songs
Hatchet Town
The Summoning
Nerdy Prudes Must Die
Literal Monster
Dirty Girl
Cool As I Think I Am
High School Is Killing Me
Dirty Dudes Must Die
Go Go Nighthawks
Bury The Bully
Bully The Bully
If I Loved You
Just For Once
Cool As I Think I Am (reprise)
Best Of You
#I love villain songs but I love hatchetfield chaos songs even more#yes I put all of Max’s songs at the top but they’re great songs#the main reason go go nighthawks is above the bully songs is the ‘fuck you clivesdale’ part#that shit comes out of nowhere and I love it#I just don’t enjoy slow songs so that’s why they’re all at the bottom#they’re great songs and I like them I just like the others better#also ngl best of you kinda sounds like a DCOM song but i like it so it’s fine#they deserve it theyve been through a lot of shit#npmd#starkid npmd#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#maddy’s thoughts (taken straight from the brain)
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absolutely not prompted by the dash (😂) but i wonder what claire thought after rockfort in relation to chris and wesker's friendship or whatever, and how that only amplified as time went by and jill was presumed dead
#i know claire saw those two freaks fight and thought ...oh? and then chris started hitting the gym every day and she went even more ...oh?#not necessarily in a ship way BUT it puts a lot of things in prospective for claire's own beef with the weskers ngl#wild that she knew the stars team through her brother and a huge part of those people are gone#some never existed in the first place and she's had to see her brother being hurt by that first hand
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That whole reply, like your musings, was a mess.
This is me sending you to the shadow realm
#ask#described gifs#described images#image description in alt#i've never seen yu-gi-oh but damned if i won't send people to the shadow realm#the tumblr shadow realm is just the blocklist ngl but come on you have to dramatize SOMETHING#flashing image tw#eyestrain tw#eyestrain warning#does 'mess' just mean that somebody put thought and long non-quippy replies to things. Like that's not adding up#kind of tired of putting actually a LOT of thought and effort into the things I say only for that to be a 'lol that's a mess'#like i put WAY too much effort in my first response because i take seriously my assumptions and want to actually prove them right or wrong#if i had assumed something then done NOTHING to prove that even /remotely/ right or wrong then i think that's problematic#because that reinforces poor understandings of interaction and strife#it reinforces poor thought and fallacious lines of thinking and i don't want to stand for that#so I've given my due diligence and now will only respond with the shadow realm<3#so if anybody was wondering if there was a reason I actually tried bothering responding in the first place: I want to have some integrity
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I finally watched Cyberpunk Edgerunners and I
#Mm. Mhmmmmm.#Shima speaks#Kinda dead and broken inside ngl. That last ep destroyed me#I have a lot of thoughts and feelings but I’m too overwhelmed to really put them into words rn#God. GOD. Jesus Christ. WHAT a fucking show
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was inspired by maliciousalice and baylardo’s trek sonas so made my own :]
she’s part Vulcan but she makes a lotta faces
#treksona#st voy#voy#doodles#too sillay to be more Vulcan too logical to be more human#a little basic ngl but actually fits p well…#thought about making her bajoran bc I like their noses but the war trauma would be a lot#anyway gave her scully hair because I could!!!#I love the expressions in the linked post def 100% inspired the antics here <33#ive never made a sona beforee already thought of 3 new drawing ideas-- i wanna put her in fun outfits!!
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.
#knowing that i'll need this community more than ever now#and yet that it will probably be so much more inactive and bare now than ever before#definitely hurts ngl#but i've always believed in putting out the same energy that i would like to receive#so i'll be here giving out all the love i can't give directly to the boys :(#because i know there will be a lot of it#and i'm always here for anyone who needs to talk too!#lol don't mind me#i have too many thoughts and feelings rn#just hope that they're safe and healthy always <3
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I found out about ADHD induced anger the other day through a shitpost on Reddit and I'm frustrated that I didn't know about it until now lol Not even the behavioral specialist I saw mentioned it!!! Sometimes I'll get mad over the dumbest shit and sit there simmering over it for hours and then once I finally pull myself out of it I'm just like "well that was fucking stupid" lmfao
I've been calling it "baby brain mode" because I figured out that I get into those moods the easiest when I'm hungry, sleepy, or when I'm bored but absolutely nothing sounds fun/engaging. Usually I'm pretty good at recognizing when I'm going into baby brain mode and can distract myself out of it or go get a snack or whatever but sometimes I don't and then I end up frowning at a wall for like an hour lol
Tbh I'm mostly bringing this up in case other people with ADHD also didn't know about it. Here's an article (with sources) that explains it more: healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-and-anger
Content warning on the article for mentions of suicide and drug abuse.
#textpost#Ngl I thought I just operated on a higher level of assholery than most people because I get grumpy over dumb stuff a lot#But knowing it's because my brain's got 90 different crossed wires will make it easier to deal with it#Another thing to add to the list of stuff I wish I knew like 15-20 years ago lol!!#Ahhh better late than never I guess#Putting music on and exercising regularly helps a lot so those airpods my dad got me will be really nice bc they fit in my pocket#But I haven't been exercising much lately because of how busy I've been... Which (on top of the shitty weather) probably explains-#-why I've been cranky over completely random things lately. UGH!!!!!!!!
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I won partner of the quarter by vote at my job I am god's most special barista
#vark posts#it feels really nice cause ngl i thought i was tolerated by everyone at best#im not very chatty with ppl i dont work with a lot and even then i still struggle sometimes#ngl i did sneak a look at the entries and a lot of the votes for me said stuff along the lines of me being charming and talented#and even uplifting everyones mood when i come into work#like theres no fuckin way !!!!!!!#i really wouldnt have guessed anyone thought any of that shit abt me but its really nice to feel appreciated#my manager put together a whole basket for me too#its all kind of childish goodies but im ngl it filled me with childish whimsy#she definitely went around target and grabbed anything that either had a bug on it or was related to art in any way lmao
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i've been talking abt my voltron playlists and @iveofficiallygonemad asked to hear them and i want to share with anybody who wants!! i know they're not perfect, i'm working on them & trying to make them better. if you have any recommendations for any of them, let me know!! there's like A Lot and i want to give a lil explanation for most of them, so i'm putting them under the cut ^-^
SO first i have my favorite one <3 it's just. all of them. it's the whole team. it's a mess and it's a bunch of different genres because it's them fighting over the aux cord on a road trip. it's them trying to make each other laugh or annoy each other or play something catchy enough it will infect everyone in the vicinity with brain worms.
Hunk: i'm pretty happy with my Hunk playlist! chill vibes. he strikes me as the kind of guy who listens to calm music to try to find his own calm, and that's what i got here :)
Pidge: this is messier and less cohesive than my usual playlist because frankly i think pidge would have a shit taste in music. all over the board. this is a mix of meme songs and 8-bit covers and vocaloid and stuff that i think pidge would genuinely connect with, and i think pidge listens to all their music on shuffle without any regards for genre or mood because they're a gremlin. nobody gives pidge sole control of the aux.
Coran hears 80's music for the first time and loses his mind. He thinks ABBA is humanity's single greatest achievement.
Lance: i have ideas about where I'm going with this but haven't really settled yet. Lance seems like the kind of boy that loves to dance (is that canon? i forgot) so most of these are Bops That Make You Move in some way or another. he likes to present an upbeat face to the world, so there's no angsting in this playlist! we are clinging to the things that make us happy with both hands until our knuckles turn white!
Keith: i'm gonna be honest. i made him a playlist but i honestly don't think he cares about music very much. it's very important to some people! he's just not one of them! i haven't cracked this playlist open in a while but i'm pretty sure it's full of songs that i think he would conceivably train/work out to.
Shiro: this playlist involves the dumbest headcanon i have for shiro that has just not left me alone since i first thought of it. most of the playlist reflects the fact that he had an emo phase in middle school (that one isn't a headcanon, you just have to look at him to know) but BUT there are a few songs on here that are on here because. little known fact. he also went through a Twilight phase that he told nobody about. (keith knows. keith was there.) he has the entire twilight soundtrack memorized. he moved past the story but the music stays forever. he used to daydream about slow dancing to Flightless Bird, American Mouth. the first time Coran mentions that they have to avoid a place because there's a supermassive black hole there, he has to bite his tongue in order to keep a straight face. do NOT ask me why i believe this so wholeheartedly.
Allura's playlist sucks right now. I think it's because in my heart of hearts i know that, were she on earth today, she would go fucking nuts for taylor swift. i have ambivalent feelings for taylor swift. i cannot do allura justice like this. if you see my vision and have recs as to what might actually fit her, PLEASE.
Klance: i haven't done it yet but i'm gonna go through this and sort it to be a sort of progression of their relationship, starting with the more combative Rivalry songs, then slipping into "oh shit oh shit" songs, then maybe ending on the more lighthearted purely romantic songs <3
(i have two songs in a shallura playlist which does not at all encapsulate how much i'm obsessed with them. the tiny cop inside my head is just constantly screaming at me that i'm going to get yelled at for liking shallura. i am going to kill the cop inside my head.)
#mj talks#oooooh i don't know if i actually want to put this in the show tag. that's a lot of people. that's a lot of people that might see this.#fuck it we ball#voltron#anyway. as i said if you like music and you have songs that you think fit please send em over#also who wants to talk about shallura? i want to talk about shallura.#i rewatched the first ~3 seasons (the best part of the show and some of season 3) with my roommate a while back and.#ngl if we're strictly talking about the show itself and not fanworks. i care about shallura SO much more than i care about klance.#oh i should probably tag#klance#in case anyone has that blacklisted and just doesn't wanna see it#BACK TO MY POINT.#rewatch seasons 1 and 2 and you will see there was a REASON everyone included shallura in the background of their fics#and it wasn't just shoving 'space mom' and 'space dad' together#there is a very real and very compelling dynamic there. the mutual respect. the connection that comes with taking responsibility.#watch shiro's whole deal after allura gets herself captured so that he can go free and try telling me it's all in my head. just TRY.#anyway i have a lot of complicated thoughts about shiro's sexuality and most of them boil down to I Don't Think It Was Planned#i think they shoved it in last minute because somebody higher up#(not the writers i don't blame u writers i know that you have people breathing down your necks telling you what you can and can't do)#some higherup didn't like any queer storylines that might have been in the works and pulled them from the show#but then there was fan backlash because... gay people are loud now? people wanted A Queer In Space? wild thought#so they had to save their ass and actually deliver on what they had promised in interviews/on the internet/idk i didn't keep up too much#because it was so clumsily revealed! there was no buildup!#it felt very shoehorned to me unfortunately. when a) they had already built a solid and compelling potential relationship for shiro#(see above)#and b) klance was? right there? like. dude. you /had/ to have seen that. or at least some of it????#backstory dead fiance was not the best move vis a vis queer representation and i reject him#if you want me to care about a relationship try going back to storytelling basics and Show Don't Tell :)#not giving you brownie points for that 'queer representation' :)#anyway. that's my shallura manifesto in the notes.
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