#there are so many other things I hate about the fucking culture on that site but I’m jus glad to be back on tumblr
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#i fucking hate going into the tags of literally any media on this site#the only thing i see anymore is to do with ships that they think are great and how things could be gayer and i literally#don't fucking care about the romantic aspect 99% of the time!!!!!!#who!!!! fucking!!!! cares!!!!!!#please for the love of god can someone talk about characters and plots and (non romantic) relationships with me????#like this has happened in so many fandoms recently and idk why I'm surprised every time#it didn't used to be like this? like yeah this site has always skewed heavily towards shipping culture bs#but like. you could always find other stuff?????#but now it overtakes 99.99999% of the tags and it's just impossible to engage with anything anymore over here#was trying to see *anything* about the your throne webtoon chatter here and it's just useless#to delete later
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The Reddit Blackout, #196, And Being New to Tumblr
okay i've seen a lot of people in the past ~24 hours or so confused by everything going on with Reddit & Tumblr from both sides - people new to tumblr who don't know how to use it, and tumblr users who don't know what's going on with reddit and why many of its users have joined up here
i know this isn't really related to my blog but fun fact about me: i was up until recently a very active reddit user and even mod a subreddit, but I've also been on tumblr for about 3 years now on different accounts, so I think I can see pretty well from both sides of this and explain what's going on
this post will be split in 2 sections: what happened with reddit (and what #196 means), and a guide for new users
1. What The Hell Is Going On With Reddit?
The thing that's caused all this ruckus is a major change to Reddit's API, which is what Reddit provides to people so they can pull directly from Reddit to make third-party apps or tools.
The change is that Reddit is changing its previously free API to be paid. Which on its own kinda sucks for developers, but it's not unexpected. They need to make money somehow, right?
The problem is that the API pricing is WAY TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. The developer of the most popular 3rd party Reddit app, Apollo, says it will cost him $20 million a year to continue running the app as normal.
Essentially, this pricing forces almost everything third-party to shut down, which causes 3 major problems:
Third-party apps cannot keep running, which sucks for normal users because Reddit's official app is awful. It's slow, its video player is a thing of nightmares, it doesn't have many useful features third-party developers have made.
It sucks even more for visually impaired users because they can't use the official Reddit app at all. Reddit's official app does not work with iOS's native text-to-speech function. Third party apps, on the other hand, often do. So Reddit is forcing blind users away.
Third-party moderator tools cannot keep running, which sucks for moderators because many rely on these tools to properly moderate their subreddits. And moderators are often necessary, because without them subreddits get banned and hate speech and even CSA can often run rampant.
So you see why this change is bad.
Reddit users were PISSED.
So over the past week and a half or so, they have been working on organizing a site-wide blackout. The majority of the most active subreddits have now gone private. Some are only doing it for 48 hours, others (such as r/196) are doing it indefinitely.
That's why you can't access most of Reddit right now, and that's why many users have come here.
You're probably still wondering, though - what is this #196?
Well, as you may guess, it's connected to that subreddit r/196 I just mentioned. r/196 is a subreddit which only has one rule: every time you visit, you must post before you leave.
That's it, that's the subreddit.
The thing about r/196 that set it apart from most other subreddits - and what lends the subreddit's users perfectly to Tumblr - is that it was dominated by queer and leftist users.
So now they've come here and set up shop in #196 and r/196 so they can continue their merry little shitposting.
There's a ton of lore related to r/196, actually, but this is already a long tumblr post and quite frankly I cannot be bothered to write about it at the moment.
2. I'm Here From Reddit, What Now?
Hello there, random new user. As a double-citizen of Reddit and Tumblr, let me show you around this place.
First off, there are some other people who are better at explaining that I am who have made some really helpful things. Watch this Strange Aeons video as a guide to Tumblr culture and functionality and read this post which directly compares Reddit and Tumblr.
Assuming you've done that, here's some additional advice of my own:
Do you miss sorting subreddits by top of all time/the year/the month? Well, you can do something very similar with tags! If you go to a tag at the top of the screen you can select top, and then at the dropdown that says "all time" you can select different time periods! Even 6 months, which Reddit hasn't ever had.
Tumblr has a lot of cool customization features! Even outside your icon/banner/bio, you can change you blog colors and on desktop you can have an html theme (which has its own thriving community here). That customization is part of what sets Tumblr apart from everywhere else - I think you'll enjoy playing with it.
Notes will probably confuse you at first. Unlike the different numbers for upvotes and comments, notes combines the total number of likes, reblogs, and replies into the same number.
Outside of organizing your own blog, when making your own posts tags are what help other people find your post. Use them! But don't abuse them, because then people will just block you.
There are three ways of people finding your post: if someone follows you, if someone follows the tag(s) assigned to your post, and if someone is just scrolling through the tag(s) assigned to your post (and also the secret 4th way no one uses, which is finding it on the trending page, but even if people did use it no one will find your post initially that way)
tumblr is no longer The Discourse Website. And unlike what Reddit wants you to believe for some reason, it is very much alive still. Most of the people seeking fights have moved to Twitter (though some have also moved back here again). You will not get any brownie points for being a dipshit like you do on some subreddits.
So there, welcome to the hellsite (affectionate), you'll pick up on all the in-jokes eventually, for now just try not to be a nuisance and soon enough this'll be your new internet home.
#reddit#reddit blackout#reddit migration#196#r/196#reddit refugee#new to tumblr#long post#text post#xavi.txt
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i. about 2 weeks ago, i was told there's a good chance that in 5 or so years, i'll need a wheelchair.
ii. okay. i loved harry potter as a kid. i have a hypothesis about this to be honest - why people still kind of like it. it's that she got very lucky. she managed to make a cross-generational hit. it was something shared for both parents and kids. it was right at the start of a huge cultural shift from pre to post-internet. i genuinely think many people were just seeking community; not her writing. it was a nice shorthand to create connection. which is a long way of saying - she didn't build this legacy, we built it for her. she got lucky, just once. that's all.
iii. to be real with you, i still struggle with identifying as someone with a disability, which is wild, especially given the ways my life has changed. i always come up against internalized ableism and shame - convinced even right now that i'm faking it for attention. i passed out in a grocery store recently. i hit my head on the shelves while i went down.
iv. he raises his eyebrows while he sends me a look. her most recent new book has POTS featured in it. okay, i say. i already don't like where this is going. we both take another bite of ramen. it is a trait of the villain, he says. we both roll our eyes about it.
v. so one of the things about being nonbinary but previously super into harry potter is that i super hate jk rowling. but it is also not good for my mental health to regret any form of joy i engaged with as a kid. i can't punish my young self for being so into the books - it was a passion, and it was how i made most of my friends. everyone knew about it. i felt like everyone had my same joy, my same fixation. as a "weird kid", this sense of belonging resonated with me so loudly that i would have done anything to protect it.
vi. as a present, my parents once took me out of school to go see the second movie. it is an incredibly precious memory: my mom straight-up lying about a dentist appointment. us snickering and sneaking into the weekday matinee. within seven years of this experience, the internet would be a necessity to get my homework finished. the world had permanently changed. harry potter was a relic, a way any of us could hold onto something of the analog.
vii. by sheer luck, the year that i started figuring out the whole gender fluid thing was also the first year people started to point out that she might have some internalized biases. i remember tumblr before that; how often her name was treated as godhood. how harry potter was kind of a word synonymous for "nerdy but cool." i would walk out of that year tasting he/him and they/them; she would walk out snarling and snapping about it.
viii. when i teach older kids creative writing, i usually tell them - so, she did change the face of young adult fiction, there's no denying that. she had a lot more opportunities than many of us will - there were more publishing houses, less push for "virally" popular content creators. but beyond reading another book, we need to write more books. we need to uplift the voices of those who remain unrepresented. we need to push for an exposure to the bigotry baked into the publishing system. and i promise you: you can write better than she ever did. nothing she did was what was magical - it was the way that the community responded to it.
ix. i get home from ramen. three other people have screenshotted the POTS thing and sent it to me. can you fucking believe we're still hearing this shit from her when it's almost twenty-fucking-twenty-three. the villain is notably also popular on tumblr. i just think that's funny. this woman is a billionaire and she's mad that she can't control the opinions of some people on a dying blue site that makes no money. lady, and i mean this - get a fucking life.
x. i am sorry to the kid i was. maybe the kid you were too. none of us deserved to see something like this ruined. that thing used to be precious to me. and now - all those good times; measured into dust.
/// 9.6.2022 // FUCKING AGAIN, JK? Are you fucking kidding me?
#witches and wizards#kids need to be able to play games without knowing the extended universe#playing was easy#i knew i wasn't gonna be able to explain chronicles of christomancy#but we could pick up a stick and run around#nd say we were magic that would be enough backstory#and i think the last time i felt that sense of community#was the summer of pokemon go#it's about cross-generational connectivity bro#yes there are insular communtities but EVERYONE had fucking read harry potter#which is me saying - i think maybe people don't miss HER or the ACTUAL BOOK tbh#they miss... feeling connected#think about how so many people felt so weirdly ashamed and lost after Game of Thrones ended -#they did SUCH a bad job that the entire community just... vanished.#where beforehand people would have GoT weddings#we are just animals who love stories and love feeling like we speak the same language#btw i am not on twitter so i hadn't seen some of the shit she was doing#and then when i was 19 she published the ''american school'' hogwarts stuff#and was reading it casually bc again a huge nerd#and in it shes like ''the british taught the natives their more civilized magics''#and that was like..................... oh okay. okay. so.....
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AYE NIGGA(S) LISTEN UP
back in days of old, rap and hip hop was seen as a foolish endeavor; a moronic art form made by black people. whites did not gaf about it. thankfully while that’s changed… tumblr one of the only social medias i use to keep in contact with the outside world. i’ve seen the dumbest, stupidest posts because tumblr is a white hell. there are basically next to no black bloggers. they’re either dead or they abandoned the site or they were banned during that whole russian bot shit and whatever remains of black tumblr is a decrepit grave that i wish i experienced—but thanks to the hostilities of the white userbase and the staff’s oppressive nature towards blacks first and foremost, most of us are gone. i have been on this site for approximately a year or two and i have only accrued a few black people on this site. every other thing i see is traditionally antiblackness laced in progressive language, clear unbridled ignorance of black phrases, substitutions of “nigga” for the euphemism “f slur” and especially because of kendrick lamar’s beef with drake extending across the entire internet and worldwide; tumblr the “hating” website gets ahold of it. for the first time, people experience the lyricisms of kendrick and the banality of drake on full display…
and then instead, tumblr users (predominantly white) complain about the innate violence of rap, comparing fucking kendrick to LEMON DEMON (nigga who listens to LEMON DEMON????), saying some stupid shit about how rap boring as fuck, etc. etc., and it’s exhausting its so exhausting because so many people on this site refuse to acknowledge rap as a real music form and instead gas up their metal bands basically ran by neo nazi whiteboys and still are terrified of blackness. and even when they dip their toes into the art, they back away. i know everyone rn is flaming each other over this but this website is notorious for it’s systemic bigotry against blacks. we are not property and vehicles for ideological rhetoric. we are not hapless. we aren’t slaves. we are people. listen to our music nigga. you don’t like it? move on. don’t say nothing. don’t go on posts like some people have been doing and going: “oooohhhh rap lame as fuck!”. learn culture bro. and i dont want nobody to feel any white guilt but so many of you on tumblr are just so fucking bigoted for no reason towards black people (even those hardcore marxists on here). i just dont wanna see another post about a white person tweaking out over rap. go listen to black artists and support black people. support black men. support black women. support black transmascs and black transfems. support black intersex people. support all black queers. support ALL black people.
#antiblackness#antiblackness racism#antiblackness tw#racism#racism tw#black tumblr#kendrick lamar#drake#kendrick diss#rap#I WARD AWAY THE WHITE DEVILS: NIGGAPOSTING#tumblr culture#whiteness
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No but full stop. if you say anything like "Gen Alpha is being raised wrong/horrible to have in class/morally fucked-up/idiotic/doomed/just really really cringe" I will unironically lose all respect for you immediately.
all this stuff about "they're illiterate", "they have no respect for parents or teachers" "screens have rotted their brains" "they just speak in weird Skibidi Toilet Gyatt Rizz Meme Language" "the screens have made them have no behavior standards or morals" "the ScReEeEeEeEnsssss"
...you sound literally exactly like our parents' generation did with us. and elder millenials'/Gen X/even really late boomer's parents' generations did with them about video games and cable tv and...regular tv
and radio
and records
and. dime novels.
and it literally just goes back like that forever
OVID talked abt this stuff in the EXACT same way
so yeah, if you say that stuff without a shred of self-awareness, then I
1) do not think you can keep your commitment to "not fuck up future generations like we were fucked up", since you're contributing to that fucking-up right now by your words and actions.
2) will assume that you have a similar shortsightedness in other issues that require you to compare your own/modern-day views and events to historical ones, and lose faith in your interpretation of everything from aesthetics and online drama to world-altering current events because of that
3) genuinely I just have nothing but disappointment in people who say these things. anyone on this site who hates "icky gen alpha things" almost definitely did the same thing themselves.
They have "Gyatt", we* had GLOMPING, Yaoi Paddles, shitty mspa twerking gifs everywhere, and "Oh My God, Look At Her Butt"
They have "Rizz" we had "YOLO SWAG" and "I made you a cookie but I eated it" and those selfies where you held your camera up too high and then looked up at it from under your bangs
They have "Skibidi Toilet" we had SO MANY THINGS. Llamas with Hats. Charlie the Unicorn. Annoying Orange. Crazy Frog. Potter Puppet Pals. Minecraft Parodies if you're younger gen z. friCKING TOBUSCUS MUSIC, that man was a PLAGUE.
They have a toxic social media culture focused on heavily edited and unachievable beauty standards, enforced popularity culture, rigid aesthetic-based social groups, harmful rumors about health & beauty, a pressure on young girls to act mature, and underlying racism/classism, all leading kids who dont have adequate guidance to, AT BEST, try beauty "products" that arent meant for kids and are usually scams. We had... literally the exact same thing except our airbrushing was on celebs and models instead of coming from filters.
*I am older Gen Z (24 y.o.) but was so fucking sheltered until ~2014, and even then... I'm going off tumblr-history blogs, yt retrospectives and "my friend said so" to understand what "we" had
TLDR STOP BULLYING GEN ALPHA
...except about "Starpatch" or "Starface" or whatever it is. yes, ik its also popular/more popular with younger gen z. yes I'm literally making a post rn to bully(lh) yall JUST as hard about it. if it were my exact age group doing this I would be bullying yall. i dont care who does it, starpatch is so fricking silly.
#gen z#gen alpha#history#trends#skibidi toilet#gyatt#rizz#cringe#tumblr culture#tumblrcore#social media#ageism#igen#longpost#rant ish#i have opinions about this actually#soapbox
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Getting real comfortable unfollowing and/or blocking blogs that only use political activism as a way to give themselves a feeling of like moral hierarchy. Like I think it's something we all struggle w to an extent, there's this long held concept of "I can only feel that I am good if I have someone bad to compare myself to" and in a terrifying world with so many terrible, terrible things going on in it I so understand the desire to be sure in the knowledge that you are a good person.
But part of kindness and community and compassion is being able to communicate patiently and empathetically with others, and so often I see posts or tags on this site that could be incredibly informative and create real change if they weren't written like somebody trying to get a mic drop moment instead of trying to get people to change and grow.
This is not to say minorities need to or should be polite to their oppressors, that's absolutely not the message of this post and I wanna clarify that to avoid a "love pancakes = hate waffles" situation.
The message of this post is about the amount of posts on here that bring up any issue in the world at all and phrase it as "not that any of you give a shit" or "and no one fucking cares" or "reblogging this is literally the least you can do" or "but I know you'll just ignore this so fuck you"
Like idk I just feel like we've accidentally recreated protestant values and catholic guilt over the idea of actual change, as well as the dangers involved in like "you should know to do the right thing because you're SCUM IF YOU DONT" instead of going "here's some education or a way to help" and then responding that way once someone refuses growth or change.
I'm going to try and practice what I preach here by explaining one of the reasons I think this is so dangerous without insisting you're a monster for not knowing: a large amount of the population suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, and one of the major ways ocd can present itself is ocpd or as my mates and I have come to call it "ethical ocd." Ethical ocd (in vague terms bc I'm not a doctor) is the extreme anxiety/fear/obsession over being morally wrong or a bad person and sufferers often feel the need to prove absolutely that they are good and can often feel the need to self harm or partake in dangerous behaviour if they make any mistakes or have an intrusive thought of a violent or hurtful nature. I know this because I've suffered from this a lot throughout my life, and as a teenager I spent many years away from tumblr due to how the moral hierarchy culture here was just like pouring fuel directly onto an open bonfire. This is obviously an issue many people don't know about and I get that, I feel no judgement towards them for that. I'm just pleading with people to consider whether their activism on here is coming purely from a place of actually wanting to help people improve their behaviour and improve the world we live in or if it comes from a much deeper need to feel sure and right in yourself, which again is not something that is a moral failure or makes you a monster, just something I really hope people can get help with before it spirals into a more and more harmful behaviour
#sorry for the length of this post im just getting a bit tired and sad seeing the amount of people on here who are fighting for good causes!#but are doing so with the exact same energy my RE teacher gave when she told me if i did something hurtful i would BURN IN HELL#instead of explaining to me that the thing i was doing hurts other people and trust in that first instance that i as a humam being want to#do the kind and right thing without being threatened or shamed into doing so
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I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m curious about what your take is on the claim that ao3 promotes/doesn’t properly regulate racist content. What are your thoughts on that?
Well, to start, the claim that ao3 promotes anything is false. There is no algorithm on ao3; everything is found and filtered by the users, not recommended or promoted. So I tend to see any claims about ao3 "promoting" fics as ignorant of the site's functions at best, deliberately misleading at worst.
In regards to regulation/moderation. . . who is the one deciding what fics are racist and should be removed?
Is it fics where a person of color is assaulted or killed in the story? What about ones that use racial slurs? Would a fic that plays into racist beliefs about a culture or ethnicity be removed and if not, why are those acceptable but other forms of racism aren't? Would fics about historical events be removed? What about general explorations of racism? Stories about racialized violence and hate crimes that are darker than other exploration fics? Where do depictions of racism in a fantasy or scifi setting fit into this?
Would the author be consulted for their opinion and the context over the accusations of racism? Would it make a difference if the author is a person of color? Would they have to prove that they're "allowed" to explore racism in their works?
And again, who is deciding this? Because people of color and other non-white people aren't a monolith and for every single person saying that a trope or story or whatever is racist, there's another person who thinks it's totally fine. People in the same cultures and communities can't even agree on what counts as appropriation when it comes to the use of our sacred cultural artifacts, why would I trust any tiny number of people to decide which fics deserve to exist and which don't? And that's not even getting into how there's so many kinds of racism and so many groups people can and are racist to, we would end up having to depend on people making decisions about what qualifies as racist for communities that they absolutely are not part of and have no authority over.
In terms of things like just adding an archive warnings tag for racism, the only actual purpose that would have is maybe making an author think about whether something in their fic qualifies as a depiction of racism. Otherwise, we have plenty of tags relating to racism that authors already use.
At the end of the day, racism is not going to be solved or curtailed by censoring fucking fanfiction. Racism on ao3 is a reflection of racism irl and the only way to combat it is by fighting racism in our everyday lives, including in fandoms. Fiction will continue to be racist as long as there's racism in society and fanfiction isn't the exception to that.
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Need You Now
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean thinks about the hurt he caused you as he is left with memories of happier times. Does he get a second chance at life with you?
Warning: Angst, sadness, drinking, hope?
Word Count: 1125
A/N: Thank you to my beta readers @pigwidgeonxo & @lfnr-blog-blog-blog & @music-culture-mythology (any mistakes on spelling & grammar are my own. Did this on my phone) Divider by @firefly-graphics
A/N 2: Song fic, Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. Lyrics in Bold.
Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜
I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps, or third-party sites. If you see my work anywhere else besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts then it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫
Dean is such a fool. He let the one person he loves the most leave after an argument. He said a lot of hateful things to push you away and it seems that this time it might be for good. Why couldn’t he see that he deserves a life away from the chaos of hunting? You’re willing to settle down with him and give him the normal life that he always dreamed of. Now he is haunted by pictures of you both together in happier times scattered everywhere. His phone is in his hand ready to dial your number but would you pick it up? Has he crossed your mind as you have with him? Screw it, he dials your number and lets it ring. But you don’t pick up. God, he was such a fool to let you go.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me, it happens all the time
Dean looks at the clock and sees that it’s a quarter after one in the morning. The feeling of loneliness swarms over him as he drinks his whiskey slowly. He thinks back to the sadness in your eyes when you ask him, “are you sure you want this?” God, no he didn’t want this to end but he was too proud of a man to admit it. Looking at the locked screen on his phone he sees your smiling face. He wants to call again, though a part of him tells himself to let you go so you can be happy. Dean doesn’t know what he’ll do without you but if this is what a broken heart feels like he never wants to feel it again. The other part of him is screaming that he needs you. He needs to see your smiling face, hear your laughter and taste your lips. What he would give to have you come through that door again and tell him you can’t live without him. Though if he was honest he doesn’t know how he is going to live without you. Dialing your number again he silently prays that you will pick the phone up but it goes to voicemail.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me, it happens all the time
Dean pours another glass of whiskey as he thinks about the life you could have had together. You both had talked about having a family one day and getting that little house with a yard big enough for a dog. Yes, that was the life that could have been. But it’s all a distant memory now. He should have never allowed hunting to be the deal breaker between you both. He has put in many years of his life hunting supernatural beings. He deserves a chance at a normal life. Grabbing the glass of whiskey he downs it in one gulp. Dean promised he wouldn’t call but fuck it. While he has the courage he quickly dials your number and listens while it rings. After the fifth time ringing, it goes to voicemail. Dammit, he screwed up. He just hopes that you’re sleeping and not ignoring his call. Maybe he should try to sleep as he is feeling a little drunk. Though how could he sleep knowing you won’t be there in the morning? As Dean leans back on the couch he tells himself he would rather have these hurt feelings than feel empty inside. Unbeknownst to him, his finger dials your number again.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Dean shut his eyes for a few minutes and wakes up to someone shaking him. He groans his disapproval and slowly opens his eyes. There you are staring at him with a sad smile on your face.
“Dean, I saw you called me several times. Is everything okay?” You sound concerned as you ask him. He looks awful and smells heavily of whiskey. You notice the pictures of you both are scattered everywhere.
He looked over to the clock on the wall and it was just after three in the morning. You came over this late? “I’m fine, sweetheart. I was just drinking some whiskey. No need to worry about me.”
“Does this have anything to do with the argument we had?” You question him as you look at how much whiskey is missing from the bottle.
He sighs. “No, yes, maybe. I just wanted you to know I didn’t mean anything that I said earlier. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. I want the future we talked about. I want out of hunting if you still want to as well. Just say the word and it’s done.”
Tears spill down your cheeks as you nod your head. “I do want that but Dean you hurt me. Saying you don’t want kids…”
“I was an idiot. I do want them with you. I want the house, the yard, everything. Just give me a chance to prove myself to you.”
A small smile flashes across your face. “Well, I hope you’re serious because Dean I’m pregnant.”
Dean sits up quickly and pulls you into his lap. He kisses you passionately, tongues slowly dancing together as you grip him harder against you. When he pulls away so you could both breathe he let out a chuckle. “I’m so freaking happy.” Finally, everything is going to be alright. You need each other and so both of you vow to never make drastic decisions again. Today is the beginning of your forever, just the three of you.
Everything Tagging:
@americasass81
@awsome262338
@caffiend-queen
@caplanbuckybarnes
@charmed-asylum
@denisemarieangelina
@donutloverxo
@get0verit
@gotnofucks
@joannie95
@labella420
@lfnr-blog-blog-blog
@madscape
@miraclesoflove
@mogaruke
@mrsjobarnes
@mrsmischief209
@nekoannie-chan
@notyourtypicalrose
@patzammit
@princessofdarkwinter
@rayofdawnworld
@sweater-daddiesdumbdork
@wolfsmom1
@what-is-your-plan-today
@writercole
@drabblewithfrannybarnes
#saiyanprincessswanie#missy writes#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester#Millennial Mixtape challenge#dean winchester angst#dean winchester spn#dean winchester fanfiction#supernatural au#Dean Winchester x female reader#need you now
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20 Questions for fic Writers!
finally getting to the tag games i've been forgetting! thanks for the tag @sugareey-makes-stuff this looks so cute and fun!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Just 93....for now! I have a secret little goal to hit 100 before the end of the year but realistically that probably won't happen.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,864,258! I'd like to hit 2mil eventually :D
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Just Teen Wolf for now! Although I've been trying to get myself to be inspired by others, it's just not happening. Although i finally finished watching Superstore the other day and intensely plotted out a fic that would fill in some missing stuff that was bugging me. but I likely won't do that lmao
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Haaa
Son of the Sheriff [Teen Wolf, G, 3k words]
Nature of the Beast [Teen Wolf, M, 56k]
No Mercy [Teen Wolf, M, 64k]
Love Don't Lie [Teen Wolf, T, 2k]
Ride with me [Teen Wolf, T, 4k]
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! almost always. sometimes I don't know what to say but I try to respond anyway. I didn't before, at first because when I joined ao3 the authors' whose works I commented on didn't respond so I just thought that was the culture, and then occasionally now because I'm just...very drained from pulling the story out of my head.
MOSTLY though I genuinely love talking about my stories with people, especially when they have questions about my worlds; I put a ton of thought and care into my worlds and LOVE when people are interested!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ah...hmm. I don't know! i always aim for happy endings, they bring me the most joy in writing. Uhhh maybe Pulling Strings? It's more open than angsty, buuuut it is less outright happy than my other fics!
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
HAPPIEST. That's so hard!! Because see above, all happy endings. I'll say an even tie between The Next Chapter and Fractured Starlight, just going by most recently picked fics!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
klfjsalkfslka I don't know that i'd call it outright hate. but i've gotten some WILD comments before. That were unquestionably FUCKING rude. But i don't know if it counts as hate. I have an entire folder i have named Hall of Shame of some of the worst offenders. It's gotten less bad now that I've archive locked all my fics, which made it so much more fun to post. I think the worst was either the several-paragraphs long, two part comment about how the reader was disappointed in me (??) and just a bunch of other rudeness, OR the person who, after I deleted their comment that pissed me off, pasted their comment back in with a bitchy little addition to let me know they felt entitled to leaving rude stuff on my fic. so i deleted it again c:
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I don't write a lot of it! Definitely not PWP. Just emotion-focused sex scenes if it happens and works for the rest of my plot! it's just not as fun as action scenes for me most of the time c:
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Nope!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I'm hesitant to call it stolen but someone did ask me permission to translate my fic, and I granted it, but they did not link me to it, or even post it on ao3, which bothered me. but i found it. and. they had translated it, sure, but they'd also changed it from a sterek fic....to a Derek x Peter fic. which was. a weird thing to do. that was not what we had agreed upon so i just messaged them mainly asking like. for why.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
LOL. Yes! 4 on ao3, and two out there...on other sites. that was annoying D< I am flattered people wanted to translate my fics! I now have a blanket statement on my profile for this sort of thing, including that I want translations only on ao3, and not posted elsewhere because of...well. #11 lol
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No :c I'd like to try! But i have so many to-write fics!! I have some vague plans for a fic with @dappledawndrawn but like. my list. it's so long. (Also add in my fears that I'd be overbearing or something and i will procrastinate this forever.)
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I'd have to say sterek lmaooo. I have others I like and even love a whole lot I just haven't become obsessed with finding out how to fit those other ships in a whole bunch of other worlds like I have with sterek. Maybe one day! Mostly they're book ships hahaha
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh man. ;-; the third of my fairy tale series. I started it like 3 times but could never get it right! i had it all planned out and everything it just would not work. So annoying.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Worldbuilding for sure. Plotting, foreshadowing. Building the tale itself i guess? And action oh man am I obsessed with writing action and I am good at it. I love building worlds, blowing things up, and telling the tale of why, taking the reader on the twisty, interesting, exciting journey to the satisfying conclusion.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Personally, I think I need to work on my descriptions of characters, and tbh I have trouble writing emotional scenes! I'm working on it though.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've done it before! Looking back, I was annoyed at myself xD I mostly now stick to just writing it as regular dialogue, then "-in [x language]" afterward. I don't have anything against it I suppose, but usually it's not really important to the plot to have a single line in a different language than the rest of the fic (special cases happen) so I just don't hahaha
19. First fandom you wrote for?
e.e This question always happens on these things lkfdsalkfjdskaf SIIIGH it was Maximum Ride. c,:
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
I am ever proud of Are You Ready? it's my baby, my love, I am so so proud of it and how my writing improved just trying to do justice to that story. So.
Thanks for the tag! Tagging @raisesomehale @rosieposiepuddingnpie @2dents @cephalog0d @halevetica @tkwritesdumbassassins @evanesdust and anyone else who might want to play who i didn't tag lfkjdslakjfs sorry
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so I made a language where the consonants have daily pileups and the noun cases hate you
H̵̫̰̤̝̣̥̻͍̘̱̰͎̭̅̏̽̃͐̃̊͂̐̕͜͜͝ẽ̴̖̾r̶̨̯͌ę̷̨̛̛͎͔̰͓̹̠̣̦̝̻̞͔͇̔̈́͒̆̆́̆̽͘͝͠ ̵̛͍̞̲͔̺͓̗̞͉̘̻͆̏̽̄w̷̡̧͚̠̟͉̳͇̼̯͗͂̾̄͝ë̸͍̹̟̬̩̗̹̼̩͇͇͈̇͌̂͆̒̃̕̚͘ ̸̳̫͍̖̙̬̮̫͚̻͙̱̲̍̈́͋͌̑͑g̵̛̪̼̻͔̜̮͑̈̓͐̋̊̏̄̒͊̚ǫ̶̡͕̗͕͕͍̟̯̞͇̂͊̈́̓̀͗̃̎ ̶̢̛̠̦̣̝̩̖͎͈͚͊̒̄̌̒̃̀͊͂̍͊̽̈́ͅą̸̛̣̳̫̣̱̫̘̔̏̈̒͠͠͠g̸̢̡̖̟̝̠̲̤̙̣̳̣͓̰̃̒a̶̛̛̬͛͆͒̀̃̾̇̐̈́͒͌̋i̵̝͚̩͍̤͚͐̍́͐̀̆͑̔͌̽͗̚͠͠͝ň̶̢̡̛͙͎̿͒̍̔̐̕͠͝!̷̙͓͓̭͖̝̔̍̀̍̍̑̿̍̈́̏͌̓́
Want your brain cells boiled? you've come to the right spot, because same apparently.
This post is about my latest linguistic creation, Câynqasang [ˈt͡sɐːjɴasaŋ]. It's an isolate, set in a fictional distant future near the outer edge of the Milky Way. This one comes with an in-universe linguistic fringe theory linking it to Scots of all things and trying (very falsely) to frame Old English as Proto-Milky-Way. That theory is bullshit, but the language does in fact happen to have a few dozen loan words from English, which has been kept around for diplomacy across all the millennia somehow.
Yeah. It's weird. Also, as much as I have and will shitpost about it, I'm super proud of this one. It's efficient in ways English isn't, and clunky as fuck in other ways English isn't. It's got all kinds of weird irregularities. There's loads of stuff I have to work around a little bit to translate directly, and a lot of beautiful metaphorical extensions and derivational morphology and so on. I really like this one. Though it can sure be obnoxious to use, as accustomed to not-this as my brain is. One of these days I might fuck around and learn it to fluency. One of these days.
Let's get into this.
PHONOLOGY
Yeah.
So if you're familiar with this kind of stuff, you might've caught that the first phonotactic rule means that any combination of consonants is allowed in the onset of initial syllables. This is not consistent across all speakers, in fact being one of the major sites of dialectical variation in Câynqasang, but it does mean that many speakers have, for just one of the wilder examples, ngsa [ŋsa] as the third-person paucal and second-person singular forms of the causative auxiliary verb. Many speakers shift nasal or liquid initials to syllabic consonants, i.e. in this case, ngsa [ŋ̍ˈsa], but that's a dialect thing and not within the main scope of what I'm covering here (though my recordings will likely have many of these realized as syllabic consonants). Also, this doesn't really happen with /j/, which just becomes the vowel /i/ in those situations.
Aside from that, the only properly wild things are the uvular nasal with this small of a consonant inventory and the absence of labial stops other than as allophones of /v/ before the voiceless alveolar stops and affricates. The rest of what's going on is some stress variations and palatalization, basically.
I'll spare an analysis of Câynqasang's phonological evolution here, but suffice it to say that the syllable structure has become far more complex, and that *q, *h, and the old central vowels give rise to considerable irregularity in some grammatical structures by the modern language, ca. 52: 8639. So expect some surprises. For one example of that happening in a noun, the word so means "hard vacuum". (Culture is spacefaring and has been for actual geological timespans, so it's an old, common term.) Because of various sound changes, this comes from *seqɞ; e was lost because short vowels before a stressed syllable are usually lost, short ɞ became o, q was lost, and so on. But this one gets weird with any suffix. Take for example what happens when the instrumental case is applied. In the protolang it would be *seqɞ *seqɞbuj, but through the same set of sound changes, the instrumental case form in the modern language is semuy [ʃeˈmɔj]. The vowel, and in this case thanks to the palatalization, the consonant as well, mutates. Another result of all this is visible in a derived term, using an affix whose meaning I'll descrive as ḻ̷̍i̴̼͛v̵̭̓ḭ̸͌n̶͙͂g̴̹͂, sehîng [ʃexɪːŋ] "dangerous extradimensional entity". In this case *q surfaces as /x/ because it was between two vowels and *o was lost. Suffice it to say that what I'm going to outline later as the grammar is kind of just the "regular" rules, and some crazy shit goes down in some roots including this one.
ORTHOGRAPHY
Câynqasang has two writing systems in modern use. For the purposes of this post, I'll be focusing primarily on the Latin alphabet system; someday I will make a follow-up post about the other system, which is in declining usage in-universe.
In both cases, most relevant today in the Latin alphabet, Câynqasang shows some considerable historical spelling, mostly resulting from the palatal series and central vowels in the protolanguage, though there are some other quirks that will quickly become visible in examples. I'll list the "regular" rules and then explain exceptions.
Modern Câynqasang uses the circumflex accent to mark long vowels. There aren't really exceptions to that. Anything with a circumflex means the vowel is long.
The regular forms are as follows:
/m n ŋ ɴ t k d s~ʃ x ɣ v t͡s~t͡ʃ l j r i iː e eː o oː a aː/ <m n ng nq t k d s h g v c l y r i î e ê o ô a â>
However, long /iː/ is sometimes also written <û>, and short <u> and <o> appear for short /o/ in fairly similar proportions regardless of stress.
Also, when /v/ surfaces as [p] before alveolar stops, it is often (not always) written <p>.
/ŋ/ sometimes is written as <ny>.
On rare occasions, /m/ is written <b>, but this is falling out of use.
Sometimes ɴ is written <mq>.
Also, in some environments where a historical voiced fricative has been lost neighboring a nasal, the former fricative is still present in writing, i.e. sumga [suˈma] "hormone" .
So that's pretty rad. Now let's get even wackier with it.
GRAMMAR
Main word order is subject verb object, with descriptors typically following what they modify aside from converb clauses, which vary in position. Articles precede the noun. Auxiliary verbs precede the lexical verb and carry TAM and person marking, while main verbs are marked with a participle. Relative clauses are marked using a pronoun.
NOUNS
Câynqasang nouns mark for singular, paucal, and plural number and take seven cases. Here's a table of the regular forms:
The plural dative is either -h or -o depending on the presence of a final consonant in the root, or -ho in some nouns with final nasals or approximants or in some short vowel only roots. The paucal allative and genitive and plural genitive change considerably depending on where the stress falls in the root. If the root is all short vowels they'll take that -CV form because of the final stress, and the final vowel in the root will typically be lost; if there's a final long vowel it's just going to be the consonant.
It's also worth explaining some details about how each of these cases works; there's a bit of weird variance with them in addition to the fact that all of them sometimes appear marking the subject of the sentence.
The nominative is the unmarked case, common in both subject and object. It might make more sense to call it something like nominative/absolutive for that reason; there isn't really an accusative. Examples: i ongdo = the seed; yi ongdoho = these several seeds; nê ongdohê = these (many) seeds
The vocative is typically a way of calling out to something or someone like "O gods" and so on, or indicating that something is addressed to something or someone. In these uses, an article differentiates between such cases, i.e. Rayelto = "Hey, Rayel" vs. i tarto = "Addressed to this summit". The latter use is far more common in situations like correspondence or formal speech. Additionally, it's used as part of a naming convention for spacecraft and similar vehicles, i.e. i Galcît, a name referencing the galcî, a sort of balloonlike plant that hovers in the sky like a hot air balloon in large clusters for most of its life and is native to one of the three life-bearing worlds in the system where the language is spoken, known locally as Ulîtu. Additionally, the vocative case is used in imperatives where no other case marking is present on the subject, i.e. îlto kaylisûl i amdî! = 2S.VOC explain-2S DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!" (In the formal register, this same phrase would appear as îlto nîlvîn kaylsetadêv i amdî!; the auxiliary verb is not mandatory here in the informal register.)
The allative is a prepositional case referring to motion towards or into something or, especially if less permanent i.e. not referring to landforms, anatomy, and so on, location at something. Examples: ve tongin dênysumin = DEF.NSPEC transformation-ALL beautiful-ALL "towards a beautiful transformation"; Vo nrêdti ômdrây îdêv i Hîvin-ôyvêltêvusin = INDEF.NSPEC war-ABL NEG.HAB.3S live-PTCP DEF.SPEC city-ALL unbreakable-ALL "No war lives in Ba Sing Se" (lit: "the unbreakable city"; I tried to calque it). The allative case is additionally used as a subject marking for motion away from the "object" of the sentence (it's funky, but that's how it operates syntactically) in motion verbs and for negative volition in stative and action verbs. Examples: îlin nîlvîn cudêv! = 2S.ALL IMP.2S go-PTCP "Go away (from me)!"; mon mtâmtûlvu mka = 1S.ALL cut-PST.1S 1S.DAT "I have accidentally cut myself". (mtâm- "to cut" here is a stative verb, by the way. That's why the second pronoun here takes the dative. The dative is not necessary in the informal register here, and sometimes poetic registers that otherwise lean into formal speech will play fast and loose with this. Also, this kind of thing is the proper way to construct reflexives for stative verbs.)
The genitive is most often used as a possessive, i.e. lâmhu mol = leg 1S.GEN "my leg". However, it's also the main way of constructing reflexives for action and sensory verbs, i.e. sro mândengsa = 3Pa.GEN blame-3Pa "they (several) blame themselves".
The dative case is most often used for indirect objects, i.e. cdânyvu nâ lâh amdûk = give-1S DEF.NSPEC.P bread 3S.DAT "I gave some loaves of bread to them". It is additionally used to mark the subject of sensory verbs when the sensation is "passively" taken in as opposed to if someone is "actively" looking for something, i.e. mka sîtûlvu ven sedon = 1S.DAT see-PST.1S INDEF.SPEC spacesuit "I happened to see a spacesuit".
The ablative case is a prepositional referring to motion out of or away from something, sometimes to a more static presence outside of something. It can also refer to the source of something. Example: mon cumo Anqêsyat = 1S.ALL go-1S Anqêsya-ABL "I am leaving from Anqêsya (a city)". Additionally, the ablative case can mark the subject of a motion verb to show motion towards something, i.e. mti kenymo = 1S.ABL come-1S "I am coming".
The instrumental case indicates benefiting from, using, or accompanying something or someone, i.e. mon cûlvu Ancimoy = 1S.ALL go-PST.1S Anci-INS "I left with Anci". The instrumental also marks the subjects of stative and action verbs to show "positive" volition, i.e. the intent to do something, and sensory verbs to show that the sensation was actively sought, i.e. moy sîtûlvu i sedon = 1S.INS see-PST.1S DEF.SPEC spacesuit "I found the spacesuit", sîm lamnyutûsa mka = 3Pa.INS calm-3Pa 1S.DAT "they (several) took steps to calm me".
So that's noun cases, and a window into something I'll discuss again in more specific detail later that verbs do. Subject marking is wild.
Let's move on to the articles you'll doubtless have noticed by now. They're kinda funky.
So, they agree in number to the noun they're attached to. There's a definite and an indefinite.
And a specific vs. non-specific distinction that applies to both.
From top to bottom, indefinite-specific refers to a defined object or set of objects but it's not clear which one, i.e. ven cnguy = INDEF.SPEC bird "a bird". It's not unlike the English indefinite article. Definite-specific refers to a defined and clearly specified object or set of objects, i.e. i râkum = DEF.SPEC tree "the(/this/that) tree". It carries the senses of the English definite article, but also a couple of other determiners. But unlike English determiners it can't stand alone, so if no noun is specified then a pronoun must be included, i.e. i amdî = DEF.SPEC 3S "this/that". Indefinite-nonspecific refers to an indefinite object without subset or other context, not unlike the English term "any", but again it must refer attach to something in the way an article does, i.e. vo hâptôuy = INDEF.NSPEC person "anyone". Definite-nonspecific refers to any member or members of a defined subset of objects, i.e. ve vênyay = DEF.NSPEC laser.rifle "one of these laser rifles. English doesn't have a single term for this, but "one of these" is a solid direct translation. And in this case, though it's defining a subset of many items, the noun must be singular, unless the article is paucal plural in which case you're referring to more than one of a subset. The noun would then agree to the article.
Also, here's a quick table of all the personal pronouns.
It's rare in the modern language that the allative case pronouns are used in the same capacity as the old accusative case, but some older speakers will do this in relative clauses and converb clauses with objects and so on. This can also be a more common feature in some dialects. Also, Câynqasang lacks gendered pronouns.
ADJECTIVES
Adjectives are relatively simple. They follow what they modify and agree in case and number if it's a noun, i.e. Ôdamoy ôtahiraymoy vuynomraymoy nola = mandate-INS self.destructive-INS cursed-INS 2P.GEN "By way of your accursed mandate"
Alright. Let's see what other madness this language has to offer.
VERBS
First I'll cover what you can do without needing an auxiliary verb. You can do imperfective, past, present, and future without an auxiliary verb, and there is a paradigm for person-marking, agreeing in person and number, singular, paucal, and plural, to the subject.
The imperfective was marked in the protolanguage by reduplication of the first syllable of the verb stem. However, sound changes have in some cases severely obscured that relationship over time, and it's rather common that a random vowel will appear in the reduplication that isn't present in the perfective stem anymore, i.e. mco- to rot > mamco-. Often, not always but often, that same vowel will be retained when the verb takes an ending, i.e. masvâv = rot-2Pa "y'all (several) rot".
Here are the endings for person marking including simple past and future. Bear in mind that I include two of each category, but the endings are the same; this is mostly to remind myself that the imperfective exists and is reduplicative. I make these posts with screenshots of my own kind of messy documentation.
Again, some of them change with the stress patterns. The alternation between m and v in the first-person singular is because it was *b in the protolanguage, and what the modern reflex is changes based on stress patterns in the same way as the vowel does, becoming /m/ in stressed syllables and /v/ elsewhere.
For everything else, you need auxiliary verbs.
I'm going to share the sum total of those in the form of several tables, one set for the formal register and one set for the informal register.
These are the formal register auxiliary verbs. Notice how the other forms have compounded or juxtaposed with the passive and negative auxiliaries. Most of these forms have by now lost other semantic meanings entirely and serve only as these auxiliaries.
Here are the informal register ones:
In these, the ones that were juxtaposed are blended together instead and many of them have eroded away some syllables, so that just about all of the informal register ones are disyllabic at most.
When these are used, the lexical verb is marked with participles. I'll include the table I have in my documentation that has the formal and informal register forms of these side by side:
Notice again that a syllable tends to be eroded in the informal register. This notably does not happen in converbs even in the informal register, even though the participles serve double duty as-is for three of them. Anyway, that's participles.
So, with all of that information, we can finally construct a sentence using other TAM than just simple past, simple present, and imperfective. The imperfective, by the way, still marks on the lexical verb when these are used. Example: ômdîn agaltîl nê cêh = NEG.3S IPFV-eat-PTCP.PST DEF.SPEC.P 3P "They should not have been eating those"
We also have to touch on the four classes of verbs, though. This is what determines how those subject case-marking paradigms I was discussing earlier operate. These classes don't strictly follow what you'd expect, both because Câynqasang just handles some concepts differently and because semantic drift makes them funky sometimes. For one example, tkâranco- "to sabotage" seems like it should be an action verb, but it's a sensory verb, because it meant "to deceive" in the proto language. That's one of the wilder ones.
Stative verbs deal with states of being. Their subjects take the nominative case, the vocative in imperatives where the others aren't present, and for volition marking, the instrumental to mark a willing subject and the allative to mark an unwilling one.
Verbs of motion deal with motion, either physical or in some cases, metaphorical. Their subjects take the ablative for motion towards the object or destination, the allative for motion away from the object or destination, the nominative for unclear direction or motion that doesn't change distance, and the vocative for imperatives that would otherwise be nominative.
Sensory verbs are the only verb class that can't take a nominative subject. They take the dative case for passive perception, the instrumental case for intentional perception (so a slightly different volition paradigm than for statives), the genitive case for reflexives, and (sometimes) the vocative for imperatives. The vocative is in somewhat less common use in the modern time.
The class of action verbs contains all other verbs. They take the allative to mark unwilling subjects, the instrumental to mark willing subjects, the nominative when volition can be assumed from context, the genitive for reflexives, and the vocative in some imperatives.
These categories are something a learner would mostly just have to memorize. Like, there are some vague patterns you can pick up from semantics, but they're very far from consistent and it doesn't work the same way you'd think it would in English.
One last little footnote before we move on to converbs, to negate something other than a verb, simply use the stem form of the negative auxiliary following it.
Alrighty.
CONVERBS
I'm not incredibly familiar with the typical nomenclature for these, so I list their etymologies and meanings to the left of the table here:
Converb clauses most often precede the main verb phrase. If a converb is used, also, a separate participle need not be if the clause involves an auxiliary verb. They are derived from participles.
Example: Ye i côl sanqe kamesîtêl, yâkînghê ola lamnyunqicêh = And DEF.SPEC 3P.GEN PERF.3P happen-CONV.GEN.P soul-P 1P.GEN peaceful-FUT.3P "And having felt all of these things come to pass, our souls will know peace".
So those are pretty rad.
RELATIVE CLAUSES AND INTERROGATIVES
Relative clauses are constructed with the relative pronoun (below) and, where relevant, an interrogative.
Relative clauses can either precede or follow the main clause, but in either case the relative pronoun agrees to the subject of the clause in number. Also, when they involve an interrogative (below), it precedes the relative pronoun.
Example: gôv nâs sâyin nola cîldîsang rircâmtatîl, ang onqûnqinqa ven nymûm sunyul. = where REL dust-ALL 2P.GEN PASS.PERF.2P IPFV-imprison-PTCP.PST 1P.INS build-FUT.1P INDEF.SPEC meeting.place love.GEN "where your ashes have been imprisoned, there we will build a meeting place of love."
Questions are constructed with one of these interrogatives immediately preceding the verb or, if the question is related to the nature of the subject or object, in subject or object position. Examples: galtûlûl kay? = eat-PST.2S which.P "Which ones did you eat?";
IMPERATIVES
Imperatives are constructed somewhat differently in the formal register than in the informal, in at least some cases. The subject of the sentence often takes the vocative case, but where other subject case marking is present, it can be omitted. If the vocative is present, in the informal register the imperative auxiliary verb is not required; in the formal register, the auxiliary verb is always mandatory. Here I give three examples assembled from elsewhere in this post, first one using an allative subject, then the same sentence in the informal and then formal registers:
îlin nîlvîn cudêv! = 2S.ALL IMP.2S go-PTCP "Go away (from me)!"
îlto kaylisûl i amdî! = 2S.VOC explain-2S DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!"
îlto nîlvîn kaylsetadêv i amdî! = 2S.VOC IMP.2S explain-PTCP DEF.SPEC 3S "Explain this!"
That's just about it for grammar. Now for a brief discussion of derivational strategies.
DERIVATION
Most derivation involves a set of suffixes, most of which a screenshot will sufficiently explain, but I'll go into more detail about a couple of these.
The profession derivational produces a set of nouns which in the formal register double-mark number, i.e. sînqangâtmoy = pilot.INS, sînqangârmang = pilot.INS.P and in the informal register have an entirely separate paradigm derived not from the regular one but from the historical imperative, present in the protolanguage but no longer functional. In the informal register all noun cases will attach to these nouns in the singular form, i.e. sînqangât "pilot" but sînqangârmoy = pilot.INS.P
That -îng(i) suffix often has fairly abstract meanings, though it can very much function as simply making a term for a plant or animal. From the same suffix you get such things as nâlkîngi "rabbit" from nâlk- "to flee" galîng "dissociative state" from gla- "to sleep", kalîng "waterfall" from kali "water", râkmîngi "the mood or atmosphere of a remote, dense forest" from râkum "tree", teyresnîng "a type of extradimensional entity that operates by ensnaring victims' minds and molding them to its will" from teyrsin- "to be uncertain", and so on. It can get fairly wild.
The suffix -uy can also create a term for a plant or animal, as in cnguy "bird" from cong "air", though it typically ends up as a type of person.
So that, in a nutshell, is Câynqasang. I'm still developing it, but nearly all of that work anymore is happening in the lexicon. I'm really proud of this one. As always, I'll wrap this up with a couple of fun translations. And, this time, also a rather long original work in Câynqasang.
TRANSLATIONS
Cave Johnson rant:
Nre dês sanqe cîl ngûyinytinyutêv ûyûngamang nûlul gônîngudêv: cdânyvu hâyrunîhê mûlîhê ye vâyâhê
[nre dɛːʃ saˈɴe t͡ʃɪːl ˈŋɪːjiŋtiŋuteːv ˈɪːjiːŋamaŋ ˈnɪːlul ɣɔːniːŋudeːv ˈt͡sdɐːŋvu ˈxɐːjruniːxeː ˈmɪːliːheː je vɐːjaːxeː]
2P.VOC REL.P 3S.PERF PASS.3P inject-CONV.PURP DNA-INS.P mantis-GEN.P volunteer-PTCP.PST | give-1S message-P good-P and bad-P
"To you all who have volunteered to be injected with the DNA of mantises: I give good and bad messages."
I vâyâ: ang cingvûnenqa sînin ôykîvringtatîlin nê ûngsânê
[i ˈvɐːjaː ɐŋ t͡ʃiŋˈvɪːneɴa ˈʃɪːnin ˈɔːjkiːvriŋtatiːlin neː ˈɪːŋsaːneː]
DEF.SPEC bad | 1P.INS delay-1P day-ALL unknown-ALL DEF.SPEC experiment-P
"The bad: We delay those experiments until an unknown date." I mûlî: nyuenqa ven ûngsâny mûlu mûlu; hînûnqinsa ven lvêng nûl-hâptôuymang
[i ˈmɪːliː ŋueˈɴa vɛn ˈɪːŋsaːŋ ˈmɪːlu ˈmɪːlu | ˈxɪːniːɴinsa vɛn lvɛːŋ nɪːl ˈxɐːptoːujmaŋ]
DEF.SPEC good | have-1P INDEF.SPEC test better REDUP | fight-2P.FUT INDEF.SPEC army mantis-mantis-P
"The good: We have a much better test; you will fight an army of mantis people."
Ngasvîn ûmqemdêv ven înîv ye mîdêv i tânyôy sîm.
[ŋasˈvɪːn ˈɪːɴemdeːv vɛn ɪːniːv je ˈmɪːdeːv i ˈtɐːŋoːj ʃɪːm]
IMP.2P carry-PTCP INDEF.SPEC rifle and follow-PTCP DEF.SPEC line yellow
"Take one of these rifles and follow the yellow line." No mgnônqinsa nâs gî i ûngsâny nyamnyumdî.
[no ˈmŋɔːɴinsa nɐːs ɣiː ˈɪːŋsaːŋ ŋamŋumˈdiː]
2P.DAT know-2P.FUT REL when DEF.SPEC experiment start-3S
"You will know (without seeking) when the experiment starts."
Recording of the above. It's kinda mid tier but it'll work.
Partial translation of the Ea-Nasir complaint tablet:
And a link to an original work. It's long as fuck, so putting it directly in this post would feel a bit ridiculous.
Anyway, I really did do the thing, didn't I.
Cheers!
#conlang#cave johnson#ea nasir#i really made a wild one this time didnt i#i love this#im proud of this one#one day i will shatter my brain by learning this crazy language to fluency >:3
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If you think this post is west chauvinist or is "west is best" then please read the FUCKING BIG TEXT DISCLAIMER IN RED at the BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking hate when my shit gets misinterpreted and this is a sensitive topic so I might get dog-piled on. Anyways you can now read the post :3c
What made Google plus tolerable was the europeans. there's way too many Americans on this site and it shows.
The reason why I say europeans is because I saw a lot of german and french people post there. Which is very fucking rare on tumblr. Hell it felt like there was a whole community there.
Also for the fact that even they are western, they fall out of the anglosphere (UK US Canada region), so they don't bring that cultural brain fungus associated with it.
And it's so funny, cause with that europeanness, I saw so many asian, african cultures and posting communites that get overshadowed in other sites. Hell I actually I found a south asian group there lol, and not just disparate users.
It's funny cause, when a site is full of americans, they are the loudest and speak over everyone else. However if you get europeans doing their own thing, it just nuetralizes shit lol.
Also please, please , PLEASE!!!!! don't assume that I think europeans make everything right. Or I'm some west loving chauvanist. Or that we should all adopt western culture through coercion or some shit. It's just that I'm just doing real politik lolllllllllll.
Also again please don't assume I'm some eurocentric bigot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't even assume my race or nationality and assume I'm some bigot trying to enforce white or european culture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't dunk this post underwater and then say shit like "tumbr users when they find out non-european cultures exist"!!!!!!! if you do that I will get frothing at the mouth MALDING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways if you've been to google+ and used it frequently you'd know what I'd be talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#so many disclaimers cause I feel this might attract bad spirits#I NEED to ward them off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#People assume way too much shit on tumblr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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20 questions for fic writers!
TRIPLE TAG THREAT from my faves @arialerendeair @bazzybelle and @honeyteacakes, I love you guys so so so much!!!!! 💖💖💖
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 36 in total published, a whole bunch more in drafts!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
167,076 which is crazy when you consider 146,736 are just from THIS YEAR
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The Sandman, currently! I have a couple of WIPs for other fandoms but I just haven't gotten around to them.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Dreams for a Dozen Cats - 527 kudos
A Dream for a Viscount - 513 kudos
and if I get burned, at least we were electrified - 504 kudos
Wake Up & Smell The Flowers - 457 kudos
Let's conspire to ignite - 397 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! I've been bad about it lately, but I love responding because I absolutely adore the dynamic of being able to communicate with my readers. It's just a tiring exercise and I have to be really in the mood to do it! But I absolutely love and adore every comment I receive 💖💖💖
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
A sweet dream - it's the only one where I've used the tag Main Character Death! The ending is quite hopeful, but the death is in fact permanent, take care if you choose to read it!
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hnnnnnnngh I have absolutely no fucking idea because they almost all have really happy endings! That's like asking me to pick a favorite child. Honestly though, if you want sappy and sexy romance throughout an entire fic with literally zero conflict, then my happiest ending is probably A Dream for a Viscount. If you want ANGST ANGST ANGST with a massive payoff and a lot of hurt/comfort leading up to a soft ending, my happiest ending is the one in and if I get burned, at least we were electrified
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not on AO3! In my ff.net days though, whew lordy the salt was strong whenever I wrote somebody's NOTP and dared to publish it. Those were some interesting days.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Well, seeing as I am a mod for @monsterfucktoberbingo....I think you can probably guess what type of smut I write LMAO. I do write quite a bit of omegaverse too just to spice things up 😄
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I have! Back in my ff.net days, my teenage self LIVED on the high school fandom crossover fic. I shall never return to those days ever again, but I had a good time.
I also recently wrote this Dreamling/SnowBaz crossover for my beloved @bazzybelle💖💖💖
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge! I never really participated in fandoms where fic stealing was common thankfully.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! I have absolutely no idea what site it ended up on, but I've had my fics translated into Russian and Chinese.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not in a really long time! When I was a teen, I used to RP characters with my friends as a writing exercise, and then that would turn into a fic! I also absolutely LOVED the round robin fic culture back in the old livejournal days. (can you tell I'm dating myself heavily lmao)
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
00Q hands down. I'm still reading old favorites to this day. Although, I will admit Dreamling is a pretty damn close second considering *gestures vaguely(
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh lord, I have quite a few, published and unpublished. Most of my published unfinished WIPs are just rotting on ff.net and I've made my peace with them. Unpublished WIPs...I have quite a few SamBucky fics that never made it out of drafts and I'm really sad about that because I really loved that ship at one point :(
16. What are your writing strengths?
I have a few I'm pretty proud of:
- Succinctness: I can tell a whole story in under 10k words. One-shots are my bread and butter.
- Angst: Do you want to cry? I'll make you cry and wring your soul out with no regrets.
- Fluff: On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you want to feel soft and like you're snuggling with a cloud, I can do that for you too. Fluff is such a delight to write, because I like to feel good, and I love making others feel good too 💖
- Dialogue: I love writing dialogue. It's such a delight to try and figure what a character would say when placed in ~situations~
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Whew lordy, here we goooooooooooo:
- Longfic/Multichapter fics: I can and have written longer fics, but it's highly demotivating for me. I am struggling so hard to finish my multi-chapter fics right now, it's a nightmare. I'll get there, but...
- Descriptions: I AM SO BAD AT MAKING SETTINGS AND DESCRIBING HOW PEOPLE LOOK. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I some days I truly hate my inability to describe things the way I want to, or the way I've seen other people be able to. It is a thing I am working on, for sure, I know it's just a matter of practice.
- WIP hell: I start and stop things at the drop of a hat. Rest in pieces to all my ideas stuck in partially written states
- Plot Summaries: I can write a whole thing and be utterly unable to give you a plot summary. Save me hahahahaha
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I LOVE IT. It's not for me since I only speak English, but I love coming across it in fic.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Yu-Gi-Oh!
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
...heh. I thought this was gonna be harder but it's definitely and if I get burned, at least we were electrified.
This fic dragged me out of lurking in fandom to full on writing and participating again. It's my most canon-adjacent fic. It's got angst and action and feelings. It has tentacle sex. It has the Corinthian being indulged within an inch of his life. This fic is a love letter to myself, it the reason I am here, in sandman fandom, writing as much as I am. Is it my best written story out of all my fics? No, it was my first fic after a long writing hiatus and while I consider it a well written piece, I also like to think my writing quality has increased since I first wrote it. But it is my favorite fic, for all the reasons above, and for the sheer joy it brought into my life then, and in the subsequent months after.
Tagging: @valiantstarlights @five-and-dimes @chaosheadspace @ironwoman359 @silver-dream89 @rosaren2498 @bruce-wayne-simp @acedragontype and whoever else wants to do it!
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https://www.tumblr.com/dogwittaablog/750589283502587904/some-of-you-are-clearly-placing-your-self-worth
Can add to this that I think before discovering a burner acct (which by the way was active for about 1.5 years before getting exposed so not that obvious of an acct name) that most of us on this blog knew he wasn’t super wholesome… like if you look through previous posts we are not really talking this guy up much. Sometimes calling him a weirdo and joking about his milf likes and his awkward personality lmao
But it’s also completely normal to HOPE that he isn’t THAT bad of a dude. Given other things he himself said like the flower tattoo being of his mom and sisters… or the comments on Karly Konecny’s ig / liking pics of the kids. He once shared a highlight of some environmental issues reel. He had that dumbass pfp of himself sitting cross legged at a camp site for the longest time lol. You’d expect with that, that he was not a complete douche nozzle. We all hoped that the cute friendship he had with TK was wholesome. We all knew he wasn’t Mr. Suave. Many of us here knew there were red flags.
Very few of us were expecting Leipsic level disgusting incel/ hating on former teammates shit. Like pretty sure that wasn’t on the bingo card. Yeah he followed only fans and milfs, plenty of models and did the normal young guy type shit. But THIS level of women hate - sorry not something to expect. Plenty of guys who play hockey and don’t get to that level of fucked up.
So I get where some people are saying “what did you expect”. Personally I expected some nasty. Just not the totally deranged “women are sluts / should be in the kitchen naked and baking a pie while I go off on how ugly her mama is carter hart haha innocent till proven guilty bitch send me nudes and your sister is a whore but I’ll nail her anyway” type of nasty… ya know? Show me the bingo card that had that.
I agree with pre much all you’re saying except for “Plenty of guys who play hockey and don’t get to that level of fucked up” I know you shouldn’t let one dumb person dictate the rest of a group, but it’s super evident most hockey guys are of this caliber… even worst tbh… they just know how to keep things on the low, have each others back, resources to cover up any major fuck ups.
Hockey culture just breeds the worst kind of dudes, you can see the entitlement and ego from miles away, and I’m talking at any given level they’ll be thinking they’re invincible and you’ll see it even before some of these kids hit puberty.
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ramble ramble ramble
my eyes are stinging and ive got an agonising headache rn but I'm so bored and I want to ramble ramble ramble rn
not even about bsd (3AM NOT CLICKBAIT GONE WRONG GONE SEXUAL) surprisingly enough
(pls dont actually read this this is purely just me yapping LMAOOO)
just about ao3, fanfic culture, and wattpad really
i just need my thoughts OUT of me before I lose my mind
whats getting on my FUCKING NERVES RECENTLY is the sudden migration of wattpad writers to ao3 - this sounds SO BADDD let me explain
i am gladly welcoming the people who are willing to learn the new aspect and format of ao3 and who are actively trying out the website and adjusting themselves to it! in no stretch of the imagination should these people be shunned away from the site just because they're from wattpad
HOWEVER
the issue lies with the people who come onto ao3 and actively slander other writers/creators who have been using this site far longer than they have, simply because they don't understand the rules and basic etiquette of the website they're invading and trying to take over
not only is it just disrespectful to shit all over a community that has been built on the very thing they're all losing their shit over, but its then creating a negative space on ao3 where a lot of people wont want to write for fear of people like that, or at the very least will make people want to hide their works more to keep it away from the prying eyes of those fucking VULTURES
its the people who just shit all over authors and slander them in their very own comment section where they should feel PRIDE AND JOY at their readers commenting nice and pleasant things about the story they read. not being told to kill themselves or to never write again or receive death threats
ik this is such a bullshit little post but its actually been weighing so heavily on my mind as of late because I've just seen an influx of these hateful people spawn in out of fucking nowhere
i dont know whats happened with wattpad exactly, all I know is that something major was changed and it caused a lot of people to migrate
and thats perfectly okay - if youre going to be respectful and follow the rules of the site you're moving to
these people are so spoon fed on wattpad that they cant fathom the idea of actually searching for the fic themselves - they need to rely on an algorithm so that they don't have to look or think for themselves, really
not only that, but these people come onto the site, knowing exactly what it is (an archive for ANY and ALL type of fanwork, and pretty much anything that is legally allowed is allowed - gore, incest, pedophilia, rape, etc. ik we all know this but yk lol) yet they decide to try and censor these fanworks simply because they don't like it, without knowing the one golden rule - DONT LIKE DONT READ
again this yap makes no sense but imma keep yapping
a post i saw on reddit the other day that stressed me out was somebody complaining about age gaps.
the age gap was legal (Even if it wasn't, don't like don't read)
and they called the older person a pedophile...???
i just dont understand - its fanfiction. FAN. FICTION.
just because somebody writes something does not mean that they endorse that in real life. i write about some heavy and dark shit - half of it I don't agree with. writing is an art form, a way to express feelings and thoughts that are personal to you. even if they're not personal to you, its FAKE. it ISNT REAL. and yet these people cant find anything better to do with their time other than shit on other creators for being pedos or rapists. HUHHHH?
genuinely baffles me
another point that was raised in the comments of that post was people who shit on pairings where someone is really small compared to the other person because it's "child-coded"
GIRLIE WHATTTTT
sorry, brb, gonna go tell all my friends that they're pedophiles for being friends with me bc I'm too small
it BAFFLESS ME MANNN
i have so many more coherent thoughts on this but rn they're jumbled and discombobulated and Im actually on the verge of passing out so gn
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20 Questions For Fic Writers
Thank you @be11atrixthestrange for the tag! ♥️
How many works do you have on AO3?
19 so far
What’s your total AO3 word count?
About 236,000 currently, but a lot of my HP fic was never transferred over from Fanfiction.net. I’ve definitely posted over a million words.
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Technically 3 because I wrote 1 Syd/David fic for Legion (FX).
My other 2 are my main obsessions - Harry Potter (Ron/Hermione) and The Handmaid’s Tale (June/Nick).
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
DRIVE, Mysterious Bruises, HOME, HAUNTED, Sixteen
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
Yes, I try to reply to every one. I sometimes miss things for months (or years, yikes) at a time, but I’ll try to circle back eventually because I’m a little neurotic about it tbh.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
The Last Thing - this was my first June/Nick fic, and it is very short but ends bleak.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Pretty much every fic I write ends happy (The Last Thing is an exception).
Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
I started a Harry Potter / X-Files crossover where Mulder and Scully end up stranded in Scotland and stumble upon Hogwarts. They then enlist Harry, Ron and Hermione to help with an impending alien invasion, of course… but it quickly became way too complicated (obviously), and I never posted anything from it.
I also would maybe kinda count doing major references to other fandoms or fics as secret crossovers?
I’m working on one for Osblaine that’s a direct reference to my favorite fic of all time, The Furious Winter by CazQ, which is an X-Files fic originally.
And I have another in (very slow) progress for Osblaine called STAY that’s a big ol’ (smuttier) reference to Not As a Last Resort by Arabella, which is an incredible bed sharing fic for Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter... And I’ve just now discovered the fic is not on the original site because the whole site is no longer there. Just go ahead and kill me now...
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Oh yes indeed - some pretty nasty comments in Harry Potter fandom.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Certainly. Pick a flavor, and I’ll probably try it with Nick and June. 😂
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, so cool! A couple Potter fics of mine were translated on FF.net.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope.
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Fuck. I’m sorry for what I’m about to do, but it has officially happened, and they win. The rest was a runway to this…
Nick Blaine and June Osborne from The Handmaid’s Tale.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Anything from Harry Potter tbh. I hate the wasteland I left, but I had to let it go. Still trying to get over that guilt.
What are your writing strengths?
Speed, but only when I’m on a high about an idea.
What are your writing weaknesses?
ADHD…
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Intrigued but have never done it. I would consult a friend who spoke the language rather than using a translator because, especially for dialogue, I feel you need to be pretty intimately familiar with casual speech patterns that would be very hard to nail without immersing in the culture.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
The X-Files but under a different pen name that I shall never speak of again 🤗
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
7 Years, 6 Months, 4 Days in HP fandom and probably DRIVE in The Handmaid’s Tale fandom.
Tagging:
Anyone who wants to play!!
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Big Bad Fortrant: Discord
Hello, I’d like you to welcome to my very first blogpost of my new blog, where I talk about things and share my thoughts regardless of whether anybody gives a fuck or not.
There will be many types of blogposts each with their own tag. And naturally, since Thursday is my least favourite day of the week; Thursdays will be saved for rants. The name of this tag came from an old callout post somebody did for me over 10 years ago.
I originally wanted to go on a rant about my least favourite website in the whole world, Twitter, but I believe I am still struggling to properly put my grievances into sentences without coming across as a rambling lunatic. So, I’ll save it for another time. Instead I will be ranting about my second least favourite website in the whole world, Discord. Now Discord is different from Twitter because I have it on all the time, yet I still despise many aspects of the site and it’s culture.
Discord has more or less become the modern MSN, however the difference between that and Discord is, MSN didn’t have any servers, it had group chats yes, but these group chats were kept to one chat only, there were no multiple channels or threads or anything like that. When MSN fell, Skype became the next popular chatting tool, and when that fell, Discord stepped in to fill in the gaps.
The multiple channels idea was great and it prevented chats from being too crowded. Back in the dark Skype days, a large group chat only had one place to talk in and many topics ended up getting buried by eachother. With Discord, you could create multiple channels.
Unfortunately, over time, this has led to some questionable decisions. Many people have started to use Discord as a substitute for forums. This includes archiving material in said servers, the problem with discords are, you have to JOIN them in order to see them, they’re not public, they’re all very much private. This has led to many people insert download links in their discords for projects such as fangames, game mods and even archived works. Use Internet Archive for that you nimrods!
And the privacy of Discord has led to another problem, the creation and distribution of echochambers. In my other blog, goddamnwebcomics, there are now two cases of webcomic creators locking themselves in a Discord chat with their rabid fans where nobody is allowed to criticise them. Anyone who raises their voice in any form will be either banned or put in a struggle session. And this is just two examples off the top of my head, there are so many communities that are used for echochambers and even inappropriate behaviour. Yes, Discord’s private nature allows sexual predators to find new victims easier than ever. A lot of people don’t use the old internet etiquette of never showing your face, address or real name. It shouldn’t be done in public but it ESPECIALLY shouldn’t be done in private.
Discord has recently gained more open critique lately from their users, but my main problem is really with the culture of it. The name change update is stupid, but I don’t see a reason to leave the site over it. However, I can eventually see another live chat program replace it as the Discord developers make more and more asinine decisions that make the site more irritating to use. At least users have an option to leave unlike the poor YouTube community. Until then, many people, me included, will continue to use the site despite hating it. Don’t worry, I have no plans of buying Nitro anytime soon.
Let me end this rant on a personal story, because I want all of my rants to come from a certain place of experience. I feel like I’ve seen the enormous flaws Discord had way back when people still loved the site. For that we must go back 6 years. For privacy reasons, every name in this story has been changed. It has also been embellished quite a bit.
I joined Creatividia Discord server after my friend had invited me there, Creatividia was an art group that loved to work on art but also criticise art. The community was nice but they were too obsessed with perfectionism. The leader of this group was a man named Ruth Grondan. Ruth had demoted the co-founder of Creatividia years ago for not being critical enough. When I first met Ruth, I got along with him. I was able to rise through the ranks of the server, but overtime I started doing stupid shit because it was 2017. Other creatividia members weren’t happy with my behaviour, but their problem was, outside of extreme cases they NEVER told me anything. Creatividia was very secretive because a lot of things that happened inside were “confidential information”. Creatividia you see was part of a much larger group, and what happened in Creatividia shouldn’t be spread to the larger group because they often spoke and critiqued people behind their backs.
Eventually, my friend, Ron Mullet, joined the Creatividia Server. He was made fun of a lot behind his back which I didn’t approve of. One day I openly got confrontational with them for constantly attacking Ron, so I was kicked. Ruth told me that he still respected me and my art. My art here was a video editing project that I have been working on for 10 years now. I appreciated that.
However, with Creatividia gone, I never really got proper feedback that I wanted ever again. If I wanted to know how they really felt about me, I tried to ask Ron Mullet who was still in the group but he told me what happens there is confidential information. Later that year, I learned that a friend of mine, Geyeeh, had been invited to the group. I asked Geyeeh about his invitation and he told me “I’m not sure how I would tell it to you”. I thought this could be my chance to get back to Creatividia server because I knew Geyeeh would convince them to invite me back. So I waited and got really impatient so I kept bombarding Ron with questions. I was getting really anxious because I really wanted the feedback. Eventually I got a message from Ruth that I wouldn’t be invited to the group anymore. I was upset and asked Geyeeh and Ron what the hell was going on. For the first time I saw Geyeeh, who was previously optimistic and passionate, very upset with my shit. Yes, I had acted wrong, but I do feel that in a lot of ways, I was justified to be impatient because I had no idea what was happening in Creatividia. It was a fucking silly art group, not fucking Pentagon. I feel that people there were not honest to me and they wanted to keep me out. I do regret how I behaved and I feel I learned an important lesson about compassion and respect.
My friendship with Geyeeh never really recovered after that, we’re still good friends but not to the level we used to be. Overtime people made “smaller” Creatividia servers but in those groups the existence of the main Creatividia server or “Head Group” was a secret. I remember once asking Ron if one person I felt bad for was in head group and he told me “They aren’t, and never ask me anything about that group again”. Both Ron and Geyeeh are very defensive of Creatividia, even if Ron was a victim of their bullying in the past. Geyeeh’s more defensive though, I believe it’s because Geyeeh really has no other community to be part of. They’re his only friends.
The only time I got to see a post from the Head Group afterwards was when someone shared a post talking about me with the name cropped out. However from the way it was written I could tell from the get-go it was written by Ruth. Ruth’s opinion on me and my work had changed in just a few months, calling my work “odd and nonsensical” and he said I would never be allowed in the Head Group again.
I feel Creatividia situation perfectly captures the problem I have with Discord, if Creatividia had been made few years earlier and the group had a forum instead of a discord server, the privacy problem wouldn’t really exist and we would have a much more healthy community. I can’t directly call out Creatividia without burning bridges so the only way I can call them out is by using subtle messages in my art, the fake names I used in this story did come from a group of OC’s I had created that were a parody of the said group. I might deepdive into these OC’s in the coming blogposts, but anyways Discord is awful because it’s used as a substitute for forums, it’s a haven for echochambers and online creeps, and it makes even the silliest community treat themselves like they’re Area 51. That’ll be all.
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